Beantown Podcast - Christmas Movies Reviews (12132020 Beantown Podcast)

Episode Date: December 13, 2020

Quinn comes to you LIVE to review holiday classics like Too Close for Christmas, Holidate, and Christmas Cupcakes. Are there any worth salvaging? Kind of. Definitely not the Chad Michael Murray one...

Hey, what's going on? It's Quinn David furnace. Welcome to my show Quinn David furnace presents the bean town podcast for Sunday December 13th 2020 what's going on? How are you? Wow, it is December 13th already Christmas is 12 days away Does the 12 days of Christmas start on Christmas or 12 days before Christmas? I would assume The 12 days of Christmas starts before Christmas meaning today would be a partridge and a paratrooperie Although I gotta tell you I don't know if it's just because we're coming to you live from the North Side of Chicago or what the situation is,

but I reckon we don't have partridge's or pear, pear's, pear's tree. So you might think I'm drinking, I'm not. Well, I've got some bubbly lemon water here. It's like Newman's Owners. No, it's not, it's not salad dressing. No, I don't remember what the brand is. I don't know, that's pretty good.

I was singing again some fresca, but I gotta tell you, I love fresca, but sometimes I get carried away and I have way too much fresca. And then I just, even though there's no Like artificial sugar in in there anything. It's you know, it's a pretty sweet beverage And so once I get a little sip of that I just go nuts Although I only had one one cup of coffee today, which I try to do you know some some people don't have caffeine on the weekends or coffee on the weekends

for me like if I can just get it down to one cup, that's okay. Most days I'm having my coffee in the morning, and I guess I wouldn't say most days. I probably about half the time throughout the week, I go out and get a dunk in in the afternoon or something like that. Certainly not every day. It kind of just depends on my timing, my schedule, what I have going on, et cetera. If it's just kind of a normal work day, work from home, and then I can go run in the late afternoon and shower and eat supper after that,

then I don't need it. But I've got a lot of this time of year, a lot of China meetings, which if you don't know what that means, what China loves to do, and for those who are new to the show, one of my multiple jobs that I work in addition to working at a law school and software testing, something else I do is I consult for an educational company that does a lot of college admissions, that sort of thing,

working with largely Far East Asian students, Chinese students primarily, based out of New York. Anyways, I do have a variety of things for them, a lot of like essay editing and stuff. I have a couple sitting in my inbox. I'm ready to take care of. Due to Marl, but what they really love to deploy me for is like one on one half an hour or long meetings with potential clients. And it's really strange because you would think like we're a company that's trying to make it in the business and you know these kids, aka their parents have a lot of money and you think it'd be like us trying to woo them. But instead oftentimes what it is, we kind of flip the script. I don't know if it's just like a mental game that we're playing with them,

but it's like we we've turned it around. So it's kind of framed like they're trying to woo us, which is completely unnecessary. Anyways, I sit down with these students on Zoom. Usually at like either like six AM my time or like 8pm, my time because oftentimes they'll be in China. And give my, I don't remember exactly what they call them, it's like formal assessment or something. I basically just talk to these kids, oftentimes, you know, they're ninth grades

that they're like 13, 14 years old. I talk to these kids like, your likes, your dislikes, it's kind of silly because, you know, we're trying to get out like, oh, what do you want to study in college? What do you want to major in which? Boy, I sure hope that my kid doesn't feel pressured to decide if I have any right now. It's TBD, but when we confirm that I have a kid

in there, you know, a freshman in high school, I really hope that it's not like, oh, you got to figure out what you're doing right now. And I try to frame it to these kids that I talked to you like, there's no expectation. Let's just have some, let's just develop some likes and dislikes and we'll sort of figure it out from there. Anyways, so, I'm just watching fantasy football and getting absolutely toasted. That's too bad.

But we should, we should get started with today's installment. What's going on? Sorry for that little side D2 or for the first couple of minutes here. You know we are going to get started with our real housewives of Salt Lake City recap. And I should mention before we jump in that listener discretion is advised when you're listening to the bean-tongued podcast Number one will occasionally use some language number two. This podcast is objectively terrible. Although boy I think it's gonna be a whole lot of fun Today's episode so last week we we left off and

Mary Cosby had just like organized this, she called it a Metgala. It was basically this luncheon where all the ladies get super dolled up. And as a reminder, there's six of them. We've got the two blondes, their cousins Whitney and Heather. And then we've got two Brunoettes, Lisa, who's kind of the young and fun, has a couple of little kids. And then you've got Meredith,

who's got the older kids, including Brooks and her husband, Seth and they are separated. And then you've got Mary Cosby, of course, who married her grandfather. And then you've got Jen Shaw, who's married to the defense of Bax coach of the University of Utah, coach Sharif Shah. So last week we left off, and there had been,

the start of last week's episode, there was this 1920s party, and Mary Urgen Shah started freaking out. She got really drunk and started freaking out at Meredith and Mary Cosby, and it was just a whole big thing. And then the episode ended, Mary Cosby had thrown this luncheon together, and it was just a whole big thing. And then the episode ended, Mary Cosby had thrown this luncheon together

and it seemed like things were going okay. She apologized to Meredith for being mean to her because she was upset that Meredith was friends with both Jen Shaw and Mary Cosby and Jen Shaw was like, no, you have to be loyal to me, you can't do that, which is obviously ridiculous. But so it seems like at the end of last week's episode, things were going OK at this luncheon.

But then it's like Mary Cosby, who really likes to hold a grudge, is upset that Jen Shaw had an issue to her in Apology, because Jen Shaw at the 1920s party had called Mary Cosby a grandpa effort. And so we pick it up at this luncheon, and things are immediately getting very tense. And you can tell Mary is not happy and she starts talking a lot and then Jen Shaw starts talking a lot.

And Jen Shaw, if you'll remember from last week's episode, is like being total victim in this episode. She's like super defensive, like trying to explain herself away too much. And she's like, you know, I'm just gonna say what the group is thinking. And then Mary is like, oh girl, no, you don't speak for me. And, you know, they have this long running feud. And the rest of the housewives,

although Lisa doesn't really care. The rest of the housewives are like, okay, yo, we need to bridge this together. And we gotta like come together and be friends. But Mary is like being super mean. Mary is super rich apparently, although I don't know, I don't think that you're supposed to be super rich

if you're a preacher's wife, but apparently you are. And she's calling Jen like ghetto in Hoodlum, and it's just really strange. There's a lot of great stuff. And Mary had in the past told Jen that if she, if Mary pulls up to a 7-Eleven and she sees black people outside, then she drives to the next 7-Eleven, which is weird because Mary's black, but also like, why is Mary going to a 7-Eleven if she's super

rich? Like, that one doesn't make a ton of sense to me, but it's just weird to say. And then you have Heather and Mary standing up for a gen, but you know, Mary is like, no, this is not cool. And then she calls Heather to face, which is like, girl, you got to know who your friends are and who has your back. So you can't, you know, be like burning all these bridges. And then Mary, all of a sudden and is like, no, get out to Jen. She's like kicking her out of her Met Gala party when she had thrown this whole shindy together to try to, you know, get everyone on the same page. And then Heather goes out and brings Jen back. But then it's not like, okay, now we're back.

Now let's, you know, huggy, huggy and, you know, hug it out, bitch, that sort of thing. It's like, no, tensions are still really high and clearly things are not going to work out between Jen Shaw and Mary Cosby. And then we get a little insight with the parties over, finally, like that journey song. And then you see Heather, who kind of, we don't know a ton about her personal life, except that she was, you know, used to be married

is divorced now, she's got a couple of kids. And it's like, she said that she's never actually been in love. So we're kind of hoping that she's gonna find love eventually, but we meet a couple of her kids. They're okay, they're not super funny, whatever. We learned some stuff about Mormon culture. Anyways, and then we, let's see what's going on

with Whitney this whole time. Oh, Whitney goes to, we meet Whitney's brother, and she goes to like this some jujitsu, like boxing match sort of thing. They're wrestling, it's kind of sexy, but they're also sibling, so it's not really sexy. But then they're talking about their dad after that. And apparently, I think Whitney's dad

is not her brother's biological dad, so there was some mixing and mingling going on there. And you know, he's like, the brother is like checking in on the dad, but it's clear that they don't have a super close relationship. Whatever. And then later in the episode, Whitney is taking her dad back to rehab. I think he was already there at some point, but he's going back now. And so they stop and get in and out. And then I think that happened. I don't remember.

And then they finally go to rehab and she checks him back into there. And it seems like he's doing well. Like, everything they show on camera, you know, I think that happened, I don't remember. And then they finally go to rehab and she checks him back into there. And it seems like he's doing well. Everything they show on camera, I mean, the hair is not doing well. But everything we see on camera, it seems like he's doing okay. And then we cut to Lisa's kid who's like eight years old

and he's having a birthday bowling blowout. That's three B's for you. And it is just like everything you could imagine. Pizza, you know, probably beer for the adults. I don't know. There's like a strike in there. Maybe a turkey. People are very ecstatic, very excited. It looks like everybody just had about 50 pounds of sugar. Then they just turned the cameras on and they did not stop rolling. And then, you know, Meredith who has Brooks is her son. We don't get a lot of Brooks action in this episode, but she's married to Seth, although they're separated. And this actually got kind of emotional where it's like, you know, Seth is wanting Meredith to move out to can Ohio. Apparently he's going to relocate there for his job. But obviously Meredith is, you know, this big new reality star and shows just like, no, we're not going to do that. And Seth is just like, you know, they're having this really tearful, like legit, emotional, like talk in their bedroom.

And Seth is, you know, clearly in pain, he's like, I just want this to work. Like we've been married for 25 years. It's a shame to give him now. And Meredith, like, I can understand her position but I also feel really bad for Seth, her husband. And she's like, I just don't see how this works. And it's just all kind of sad, pretty emotional.

But then we get a little, oh wait, before we, like the teaser for next week, I think Heather invites Mary to lunch. It which is really cool because Mary called Heather too faced at the Met Gala lunch in. So Heather is like clearly being the bigger person, which I really appreciate. I like Heather. She seems to be pretty cool. And like Mary just is not interested in rebuilding

her relationship with Jen. And then Mary goes off on a tangent about her own personal life. And apparently she was like, yeah, I really didn't want to marry my step grandfather when my grandma died, but she left it in her will. And I don't really understand like why you have to do what someone says in their will. I don't think that that's right. If it is, then I'm going to start putting some stuff in my will and it's going to be very dangerous when I die.

And then we get a teaser for next week, which is Sundance, which is going to be super exciting. And apparently it's Brooks first fashion show, but his dad, Seth Meredith's husband, isn't going to be there in Brooks' super emotional because his dad isn't there for his first fashion show. But he is strutting down the catwalk. So that's pretty much what happened on this week's episode of Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. It was, it was pretty good.

It was pretty entertaining. It was solid. You know, it definitely wasn't a down episode. It wasn't like crazy. The start of the luncheon was a little hot. And then from there, it was kind of, you know, a kind of even doubt after that. But overall, solid episode, solid entry. So that was what's going on. If you're curious what we're talking about today on the Binton podcast as we approach Minute 14, Minute 15 here, we're gonna be running through some holiday movies. I'm not usually a holiday movie person

in terms of like the highly commercialized, manufactured Christmas movies. Look, classic Christmas movies. Yeah, absolutely. I think I've seen pretty much every classic Christmas movie. But this year, because I'm in a relationship, and because I've just had a lot more time at home on the couch, there aren't as many things to do, I've spent a lot more time watching Christmas movies. So we've watched five recently, and I think we've probably mentioned one or two of them already on the show, but I've watched just, you know, two already this weekend that are worth

mentioning. So I'm going to be ranking. It's not like an official power rankings episode because most of this stuff is, you know, if I wanted this to be like a big legit power rankings episode, we do a, you know, like top 10 all time Chris's movies. This is just gonna be five I've seen recently. And these are all, I think, you know, within one or two years old.

So they are relatively fresh, although that their rot and tomato score does not indicate that. So let me get a sip of my Newman's own sparkling water here. Hmm, it's tasty. Got a big ice cube chunk in there. I had some tiramisu last night. Tasty stuff. I'll tell you that much. And so the five movies we're going to be talking about here and what will maybe get started and then read our ads and then circle back and finish up. Doesn't need to be super long episode today. The five we're talking about, and I had to physically write them down,

AKA type them into my computer because the names on half of these movies are not descriptive or telling of what the movie is about are gonna be. For example, one of them is too close for Christmas. Another one is happiest season. I mean, the movies themselves have nothing to do with those titles. I mean, I guess happiest season does.

I mean, sure, but too close for Christmas. Wait till we get to that. If you're curious, we're going from best to worst. Although none of these are movies I would prefer to ever watch again in my life. But, so I would say my favorite, well, let's just, here's the list of five that we're going through. In no particular order. So we've already mentioned two close for Christmas. We have mentioned happy a season,

and then we have holiday in the wild, Christmas cupcakes and holiday date. So those are the five movies that we're gonna be going through. And we're actually in kind of be doing this, reverse power rankings order. So we are going to get started with the one that I enjoy the most,

or I guess suffered the least in. And we're gonna by the time we finish we're gonna be talking about like one of the worst produced art pieces I've ever seen in my life. And you know that's not an exaggeration and it's not close because it was just a total mind effort but not in the good way, like a Christopher Nolan movie or something like that. So I was trying to think of a memento, but I couldn't remember what it was called, so I just relied on my director, directorial, D-I-R-E-C-T-O-R-I-A-L, directorial knowledge. I.A.L. directorial knowledge. Okay, so happy season would be

the favorite one I've watched out of all of these five, which is setting the bar very low because anyone who knows me knows that I really do not like Kristen Stewart. I just think that she has one gear, one mode. Maybe I'm just not watching the right Kristen Stewart movies because anytime I see somebody say, like, oh, Kristen Stewart, she's so talented, I'm like, are we, were we watching the same films? And it's not just, you know, not just Twilight,

and I haven't even seen all the Twilight movies, nor do I really care to. It's simply just like all of it, everything I've seen, and I haven't seen all of her, you know, super independent art stuff, and I know she does a lot of that, and you might expect some of her best acting to be in there, so maybe I am just biased, I don't know,

but I just haven't seen anything in my life out of Kristen Stewart, that's like, oh yeah, she's really talented. But happy a season is, I think we've already talked about this on the show, but it's Kristen Stewart McKenzie Davis, Alison Bri Aubrey Plaza, Eugene Levy's son, whatever his name is, the shits Creek co-creator. And the parents are Victor Garber and Mary Stienberg. And I think that's pretty much all you need to know

in terms of who's in this one. Basically, it's a solid movie because it's very progressive in its themes. In terms of actual editing, cinematography, production value, it's solid. I think it was put out by Hulu directly. And it's got a solid cast with, you know, decent acting. There's nothing amazing about it.

And the ending is kind of a let down if I'm being honest. But, you know, overall, it's a solid holiday movie. And it can't really complain. I found it to be watchable and enjoyable, even if I was frustrated by some of the characters and decisions, some time, whatever. I think it's pretty good. So, holiday, or, no, not holiday, happy a season. It's on Hulu, it's got a really good cast.

Go check it out, it's pretty watchable. I don't, you know, probably won't ever watch it again in my life, but that's okay. Number two was, I think, I watch, probably won't ever watch it again in my life, but that's okay. Number two was, I think I watched this over Thanksgiving break maybe. I might have mentioned it. It's holiday, this is also from this year, and it's Emma Roberts. And I'm trying to remember if there's anyone else in that one that I know.

Oh, Kristen Chenoweth is in it in like a small supporting role. Anyways, the premise of this one is basically she needs a date or she's looking for a date for a holiday, I don't really remember. And it's like this other guy they meet, I don't really remember how they meet. But I think this other guy was like at his girlfriend's parents house and something freaky happen. I don't really remember because it's already been like three weeks since I watched shit. But this guy's Australian, I think, which is already pretty sexy. And they kind of start off with a rock relationship, but they grow on each other and they have every holiday they're spending together.

So we're talking MLK Day. We're talking Father's Day. We're talking Canadian Boxing Day, which I don't really know what that is about. But you know, they're spending all the holidays together and as you expect they have their ups and downs, things sometimes go well, sometimes they don't. But at the end of the day, they basically, you know, get it on and there's all sorts of goofs and hijinks. The movie literally just skips from major holiday to major holiday. Like, you could probably, if I told you the premise, you could probably just sit there and write the whole movie if you wanted, and it wouldn't be very difficult. But that's holiday, pretty watchable in the same way that happiest season was.

Pretty stupid sometimes. I'm not a huge Emma Roberts fan. She kind of reminds me of Anna Kendrick and I am not a fan of either of those. I just like, I think they're both good actors and I'm Kristen Stewart. I feel the same way about we don't have to throw her in here but it's just like they're I guess they're good at what they do but just like their personalities I'm just like I don't know so those are those are I think those two movies happy a season and holiday I would say I enjoyed watching them they're not any amazing film or. They don't do any one thing particular well,

but they're fine. And if you're looking, if you're like, oh, let's watch a holiday movie, I think you can turn one of those two on and you'll have a good time. Happiest season, wait, that's a Christmas Christmas Stewart one, right? That's on Hulu and holiday, I think it it's on Netflix so we're keeping our streaming services in order

here let's go ahead and read some ads we'll hear from our ever loyal sponsors and then we will jump into what is just a well I don't want to say this I was about to say a steaming dung heap of films. The next one we're going to talk about I think was was fine Lots of things I didn't like about it, but compared to the last two. Well, man So we'll get to the middle of the pack in a second here after we hear from our ad sponsors All right Home pride organ. Oh, here we go. Are you tired of selling your house for less than a quarter of what it's worth?

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or like, find any word that ends in an E, really qualifies for this, but I always like pronouncing it in my head as if I was really bringing out the eight additional ease. I just think that's fun. It's a fun thing to do. I'm kind of a master linguist. That's sort of what I'm known for, but thanks to Home Pride Organ for sponsoring today's show. As we progress towards the end of year three, which is wild, what do we got? We have next week, we have an episode, and then after that it's going to be our Christmas

special, and then the week after that will be our year three recap, kind of New Year's Day weekend, and then year four officially kicks off on my friend PJ Schiller's birthday, January 10th of 2021. Pretty exciting, year four on the Bean Tom Podcast. The Samson Q2U series, it's affordable. It's golden quality, Godlike quality, biblical light quality at an affordable price. And in this economy around the holidays, oh man, we are

always looking for affordable and quality fun gifts. That can be very important. It is very important. So the Samson22U series, if you want to start a podcast of your own, it's a great option because it has crisp, clear audio quality, and it's been with us for what, what are we on? One episode 155, 156, something like that. It is just never ending. I pulled a double duty last week. Speaking of double duty, Hashtag, girlfriend of the host. Thank you to Rachel Raymos for coming on the show last week. That was a delight and a treat.

And I know a lot of you have asked for more Rachel. I'm hoping she'll be amenable to coming on as much as possible. And she really did a great job and really got the fans engaged. I am all about increasing listener engagement here on the bean time podcast. And if you're wondering, Hey Quinn, we would love to engage. How can we do that? Well, you can email bean time podcast yahoo.com again, it's bean town B A and in podcasts at yahoo.com.

And I'll let you know if you're thinking, boy, I've got a couple extra thousand dollars around the holidays to throw around. We'll just hold on to it for now. And we have our Pledge Drive month is February. And so that's coming up pretty soon here. We're getting ready for the fourth annual Pledge Drive fundraiser telephon and still looking for a snappier title.

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at least from a like, get it every year on the same date perspective over this thing, over our tonsillitis watch. No tonsillitis this year, at least not on Thanksgiving, okay? I think we are in the clear from that aspect. Maybe we get it eventually. Who knows? But sing it with us, not as concerned with the throat now.

Oh, and you need a fresh do, something snappy and new. Just call the experts at cuts by Q. Cuts by Q. Good stuff. Quality singing. You guys have never sounded better. Okay, so we are talking holiday movies and on the front side of the break here, we talked about two that have plenty of flaws, but I found them to be mildly watchable. Now this third one, I think, I found to be mildly watchable, but has an insane amount of flaws. It's from 2019, and it's called Holiday in the Wild. We just watched this on Friday night, and it stars. If you thought her career was over, just you wait, Kristen Davis making a big comeback and Rob Lowe and it's got some serious,

dark or hard of Africa, white savior. I won't call it problems because I didn't think it really pushed that narrative, but just the way it was set up was just kind of, whatever, if you don't know this movie, I didn't know it until I just randomly stumbled upon it Friday night. And basically, Chris and Davis lives in this super bougie New York apartment, think the uprising, no, what was it called? The one with Nicole Kidman and Hugh Grant that we just finished on HBO. The untying undoing.

And I won't spoil that for you, but they have this huge apartment. And so does Donald Sutherland, right in Manhattan. Basically, that's what Chris and Davis has in her husband and our son's about to go off to college. And right when he walks out the door, the son, the Chris and Davis is like, boom, hubby, I bought us two tickets to Africa because Africa is just one big place that you can go to. And the husband is like, no, I'm out of here, babe. And he's like, I'll send for my things. And it's just like you've never seen a marriage fall apart in the first 42 seconds of a film

until you watch this one. So she's like, I'm going on my second honeymoon by myself. So she goes to Africa, which again is just one big place. Eventually we learn just by looking at her like itinerary that or like I think she has roadmaps or something that she's going to Lusaka, which is in Zambia and she's at a bar looking fine. Chris and Davis can still get it. And she meets Rob Lowe, who's playing poker at the bar with a bartender. Pretty hot, pretty steamy, and they kind of have a little rat and a whole lot of tat in their conversation.

And then he's like a pilot for tourists and they're out like flying or something. And he finds a dead mom elephant and a baby elephant and he's like, OMG, we have to bring this back to the elephant sanctuary that I live at. So she comes with him because she used to be a doctor, do a little pet psychiatrist, I think. And so they go back to their elephant sanctuary and you know, they're not really like getting it on or anything, but there's just a whole lot of cute baby elephants. And the movie just kind of happens. And the editing is some of the worst I've ever seen in my life. It didn't make sense. There'd be scenes where they're having a conversation and like a split second

after the person ends their sentence, you're cutting to a new scene. Anyways, Chris and Davis is there for like the whole holiday season. Her come her her yikes, excuse me, her son comes and visits. Whew, it's a different movie. Sex in the city. And he drops out of college, but then she gets him to go back to study music. Apparently, he's a really big music dude. And eventually, Rob Lowe, his, he has like a girlfriend who's not Chris and Davis and she works over the foundation that funds the elephant sanctuary and then Rob Lowe is like, okay, I have Chris and Davis now, we can't get it on. It's this very generic looking blonde lady. And she's like, oh,

well, if you are not going to give it to me, I'm going to stop giving it to you. And so she cuts the funding for the sanctuary and it's really emotional. It's like, OMG, if we don't get funding, we're going to be closed so soon. And eventually, Chris and David goes back to New York and uses all of her wealthy connections to get funding for the elephant sanctuary. And then I think she moves back to Africa and she lives there full time. So oh, she sells her apartment and it's like, why would you sell your apartment in this economy? Anyways, happy ever after. Okay. So she moves to the, I was going to say

the outback, but that's the wrong continent. She moves to Zambia and lives with Rob Lowe and they live happily ever after. So that one was like, I mean, as far as the plot went, it was pretty rough and just, I mean, from a filmmaking perspective, not great, but honestly, it had some star power, Rob Lowe, Chris and Davis, sex in the city fans will know, and it had a lot of cute baby elephants. So, that one to me was like, okay, this is fine. I didn't hate it, if I'm being honest.

It was a lot better than I actually was expecting going in. Well, not a lot better. It was just, it met my expectations. Okay, so there are two more movies to talk about here, and I don't want to dwell on them for too long because I will get flustered. One is a lifetime movie. I don't think I've ever sat down

and watched a lifetime movie in my life time. But this one we watch, think last weekend it's called Too Close for Christmas and it's the the main lady is someone I don't know I can't even really look this up either because there's not even a wicked pd entry but I know the guy's name is Chad Michael Murray apparently he's like a famous person if you've watched I think it's called One Tree Hill. I don't know anything about it, but apparently he was on that show. And basically, this girl lives in New York

because everyone, if you're in a Christmas movie, you have to live in New York and she goes to her, oh man, where is she going? Somewhere, her parents' house maybe? I think it's her parents' house. Or maybe it's her sister's parents. I don't remember. Doesn't really, or her sister's parents would be her parents house maybe. I think it's her parents house or maybe it's her sisters parents. I don't remember. Doesn't really, or her sister's parents would be her parents. I don't really remember how it works. Basically she goes to someone's house in upstate New York and then Chad Michael Murray is

like her brother-in-law or something. I think it's her sister has a new husband and that husband has a brother and that brother is Chad Michael Murray and he's kind of a honk but he also talks kind of strange. The whole movie, it's just like weird, the dialogue and how he says it. And he's like OMG, he can never, people are always like gossiping about him like, oh, you can never like have a relationship

because he's always traveling, he's always on the move. So he's never gonna settle down. And the main girl, I don't even remember her name, but she's like, Oh, I think we should keep our distance, because it's only going to be one week. He was going to, you know, not, he was going to not be there. But then his, his plane got grounded or something. So he couldn't leave to go on his ski trip in Switzerland. And basically, they spend a whole week together as Christmas is coming and the mom is sick, which is like a weird side plot point that doesn't really matter. And the whole time you're like, is mom gonna die, but it's a left-time movie so she doesn't

die. And basically they get really close to each other and at the end they smooch. Oh, and also like on Christmas morning, I think it is he leaves to go to the end, they smooch. Oh, and also, like, on Christmas morning, I think it is. He leaves to go to the airport, but then he's like, thinking about how great she was. And so he turns a car around and surprises her. And that movie was really bad. It's a lifetime movie. And maybe this is true of all lifetime movies. I don't know really the format or the formula.

But there's constantly music playing in the background, not like pop songs, but there's like constantly music playing in the background, not like pop songs, but just like background mood music, like the whole time, no matter what. And it's just extremely distracting. This movie was crap, but it wasn't crappy enough to land at number five, the worst Chris's movie. And one of the worst Christmas movie.

And one of the worst movies I've ever seen in my life. I'm not kidding. We watched this last night, it's on prime video, and it's called Christmas Cupcakes, which should have been a dead giveaway right there. No one in the cast is anyone you've ever heard of, like not even like a weird guest appearance or anything like that. Basically, there's these two sisters and neither of them

are bakers and their dad dies and he owned a bakery with his brother, their uncle. And so they go and I just, I don't even really, like this wasn't really a movie. It just kind of, was like a freshman in high school art piece that they put together with their friends or something like that. I mean, just shocking. It starts off kind of innocently enough. It's like, okay, we're gonna take over the bakery, try to run it.

The crazy mean bank lady comes over and she's like, your dad had a lot of outstanding debts. We're gonna repo the bakery. And it's like, okay, we have to save the bakery. And then the main character, one of the sisters, you find out she has a kid who's like 25, even though the main character is only, can't be older than like, like 30s at the latest.

The kid's not actually 25, she's like, you know, 15. It's kind of like a Paul Blart situation. But then it just gets really weird because there's this baking competition and the blonde sister who's not really the the main character. She's like the secondary character has been going on a couple dates with this Aryan-looking blonde guy. And then they find out that he works at the arrival bakery that wins this baking competition every year, and of course, you know, in super cleafash, cliche fashion, it's like, okay, they have to enter the baking competition,

and if they win, then the prize money is exactly enough to save the bakery, et cetera. And so what really gets weird, and I don't encourage you to go investigate this for yourself because it is a hundred minutes of your life and I mean this in the most serious way that you'll never get back. But it gets really weird because the baking competition is just a knockoff of chopped in terms of its format, the judges, you know, three rounds, a team gets, a team gets limited after each round, whatever. But where shit gets strange is the filming style literally turns into a TV show at that

point. They're doing like, there's the Ted Allen knockoff, some little guy in his tight little suit describing the competition. The judges are direct knock off of chopped. And there are like, you know, cut scenes to where, you know, something bad happens in the kitchen. And then they cut to that, you know, chef in the kitchen, they're like talking about it, like you'll see in chop or something. The whole thing is just very strange and there's nothing good or redeeming about it. The competition itself takes three days and it takes up like 60% of the movie. It's not like this is the big final set piece.

Like over half of the movie is just them doing this competition and it's like you're watching a really bad shitty knockoff parody of Chopped. And it just doesn't make any sense, especially because they legit flip the format to where you're now watching a TV show, not a movie. And then the worst part, and I'm gonna spoil the ending because I implore, if you're listening to this,

dear God, please never watch this movie in your life. Christmas cupcakes, I name is on prime. I implore you, not to, they lose the competition because instead of using icing on their cupcakes, they use espresso glaze. But then one of the judge, not the judge, but the judge's assistant comes up to them after and it's like, we wanna offer you a TV deal.

And the ladies are at first, they're like, oh, that sounds exciting, like yeah, let's do it. But then it's like, we wanna offer you a TV deal. And the ladies are at first are like, oh, that sounds exciting, like yeah, let's do it. But then they're like, oh wait, we didn't get into this to become stars. We got into this to save the bakery. So it's like, okay, that's a good message. At this point, I'm guessing something's gonna happen. The winning team's gonna get disqualified,

and then it turns out they're gonna be the winning team. Okay, something silly like that's gonna happen. It's gonna be a happy ending. But then be the winning team, like, okay, something silly like that's going to happen. It's going to be a happy ending. But then the TV lady is just like, oh, before you say no, here is, here's like how much money we're offering you to do this. And then the two sisters are like, oh, yeah, we'll do that. And then the movie ends, which is just like, what's the message there? I am, I rate. That movie was so bad, it's not even a movie that experience

was one of the worst things I've ever suffered through in my life. At least we had tiramisu. things I've ever suffered through in my life. At least we had tiramisu. I'm not kidding, guys, like shocking. Absolutely shocking. I have nothing else to say. Christmas cookies, it doesn't even have a rating on rats and tomatoes, which if you see something that doesn't have a rating on rat and tomatoes,

it means it's either Christmas cookies or it's like home movies. Okay. So that was a rundown of five Christmas movies. I think those first three are worth watching. If you're just like, let's turn on a Christmas movie to have on in the background. None of them are particularly excellent, but none of them or those first three weren't awful.

Does last two, the lifetime movie with Chad Michael Murray and then the prime one, Christmas cupcakes, just like shocking. There's no better way to put it. Yeah, I can't even believe that someone paid to have that movie made. I was literally telling Rachel when we were watching last night,

I feel, I mean, I exaggerate. I said, Kristen's cupcakes must have had a budget of about $2,000. I may be like 50 grand or something, and not like that would be my expectation. If anyone got paid to act in that movie, that would be appalling, because it seemed from the level and the quality

of acting that it was probably a group of people being held against their will, maybe being held hostage by I don't know Syrian terrorists or something who decided they wanted to try their hands at a Christmas movie. That's my guess, OK? If we have to try to explain what just happened. So don't watch it. That's pretty much what I had for you. I got a little carried away there with my movie reviews and we're taking a little bit longer than I was anticipating.

But I think it was fun. I'm pretty tired, though. I'm going to get back into my fizzy water here and figure out what I want to do for supper. Next week we will have another little Christmas themed episode, not quite sure what we want to do. Maybe some music. That could be fun.

I got a mic stand for Christmas for my brother Walt. So I think we might incorporate that. Could be a lot of fun. And otherwise, that's pretty much, pretty much what I had for you. So thanks everyone for tuning in to this week's episode. I hope wherever you are, it is not too cold, although it's middle of December. So that's kind of what happens in December. But yeah, hey, we are what, just like a week and change away from the longest day of the year. I

am feeling very affected by the 415 sunsets because I'm just home all day and I just watch the sun go down. Although I will say it's really a bummer when you're like working downtown and you leave your office and it's already completely dark. That's extra sad. At least here, it's like I can go outside whenever I want when it's still light out. So it could be worse. Anyways, that's what I got for you. Let's queue up some music.

Thanks everyone for tuning in. Thanks for supporting our show. And happy holidays and we'll come to you live next week. So everyone, stay safe, stay sane. I'll check in on you next time. Have a good one. Don't watch Christmas cupcakes, and I'll check in on you next time.

Bye. I'm just going to sit there and sit there. ndご視聴ありがとうございました