Beantown Podcast - Defining To, Sand Dollars, & Vitamin Scams

Episode Date: May 15, 2026

Quinn comes to you LIVE to get to the bottom of a Vitamin C scam while elaborating on what constitutes prime coffee growing conditions

Hey, what's going on? It's Quinn David Furness. Welcome to my show. Quinn David Furness presents the Beantown podcast for Friday, May 15th, 2026. What's going on? What's happening? How are you? My name is Quinn, and this is my program. Quinn David Furnace presents the Beantown podcast. I am the creator, the host, and I don't know, paramedic on set. Getting sick here. Is it, I don't know, would you rather have a day where you're just full-blown cold and you're just, you're just, in the thick of it or the day leading into it where you know it's happening. Your throat is getting progressively worse. Your head is starting to pound and your nose is starting to go a little running. It's like you know when you wake up the next morning, it's going to be just, you're going to be on blast, as the kids would say. Wife had it a couple days, started a couple days ago and she's in the thick of it and now death comes for us all.

Hopefully it's not the hanta virus. Holy moly H-A-N-T-A V-I-R-U-S. I haven't really researched this one. What are the what are the symptoms of the Hanta virus?

I feel like you know all these new pandemics and COVIDs and coronas come out and it's always the same symptoms really you know always gonna have a headache you're always gonna have a sore throat

and always gonna have congestion. I wish one of these days these viruses would you know get something cool as far as symptoms go So what if it was like, I'm not wishing this, you know, knock on wood. I don't want this to happen, but just speaking from, you know, personal experience, what if it was like muscles twitching uncontrollably?

Like when I, after I go for a run or today took the dog for three-mile walk, you know, you come back and I'm just lying down for a bit, chilling, closing my eyes, and my pinky toe, just my left pinky toe, my right one's completely normal, but my left pinky toe, and this is like a everyday occurrence. Just a little twitch going on. Not like light speed, fluttering, you know, really quick. It's just super subtle. It's just kind of always going.

It's that whatever that nerve optic fiber is going on there down that left pinky toe. It's never quite right. It's always a little twitchy. And I get the same my, like right under my armpit on my left side, up to, you know, next to the rib cage, whatever those like side muscles are. There's not a lot of them, but they kind of protect your rib cage. I get a little twitch going there probably once or twice a week. And it's, you know, I'm thinking hanta virus could maybe try something new instead of the whole, you know, just, what I assume is just the same old, boring, runny nose, you know, maybe like, I, again, not wishing this on anyone.

I'm just saying if I were designing a virus, I would have something cool like anal fissures or anal bleeding. I should have mentioned listener discretion advice when you're listening to this program. Quindave Furnis presents the Beantown podcast. Number one, we'll occasionally use some language number two's podcast objectively terrible. Before we continue on with more potential hanta virus symptoms, I will tell you that we are finishing off the last of a create your own four pack beers that I purchased a month ago. So this is the fourth and final one.

Ailsmith, race car, nitrogenated stout. Is that what it is? Coffee stout. This was the most intriguing one. That's right, nitrogenated. N-I-T-R-O-G-E-N-A-T-E-D. This was the most intriguing one in that four-pack that I built. And I hear your complaints.

You're saying, Quinn, you know you're getting sick, and yet you're still drinking. Well, it's not a death sentence. It's just, you know, the diuretic angle, right? D-I-R-U-T-E. D-I-R-U-E-T-I-C. It's not like drinking this beer is making my white blood cells, you know, disarming them. It's just, you just got to watch your hydration levels where no one's going out and having

10 whiskeys on the rocks and completely sapping your body of nutrients and fluids. You know, we're just drinking. It's a Friday. It's 5 p.m. It's a beautiful sunny day outside. So just give me a break, okay? If I'm going to be sick, I might as well just be sick, and I'll just go hydrate after the show ends, okay? So one beer. Give me a break.

First sip, it's very thin. It's not a lot of punch behind it. It's kind of like a Guinness or something like that. It's good. It's dangerously sippable. Do you think the fact that it's a nitrogenated coffee stout and they say coffee's a diuretic too? Is this going to make this beer a double diuretic? Hmm, that could be a horse name.

Double diuretic. It's Friday, Friday. Got to get down on Friday. And I think I'm good with the potential hantavirus symptoms for now. We've got other things that we can touch upon. It'll be a shorter episode in general. Just, you know, don't have a ton. I've got stuff that I wrote down.

Oh, shoot, I don't think we came up with the trivia question. That was the one thing I forgot to do. you're sitting there saying that's probably like the only thing you have to do well is the animal of the week and there's getting in the right mindset after nine seasons you got to kind of pick yourself up off the of the couch and you really force yourself to do it that's how much i love doing the show for you guys so we're going to have to come up with a with a trivia question live on the air what if we did top 10 coffee producing nations i don't really know how that's rated by amount of pound of pounds of beans harvested top 10 it will this is fun because we'll be able to play this together together top 10 top 10 coffee producing nations so we'll get to that at the end in honor of our coffee stout you know one country that I don't I'm going to guess is not on the list they might be more of a poppy kind of country or a I don't know nuclear weapons uranium but

our good friends in Pakistan. Thank you, Pakistan. Thank you, Karachi, Hyderabad. Heidabad, saying it like a good old-fashioned American. Islamabad, thank you so much for making us the 112th ranked comedy podcast in the Islamic Republic of Pakistan. I don't know, you know, we've been at war with Iran for like, what, two months now, something like that. It's supposed to be two weeks, but not quite. And Iran is not too far away from Pakistan, awfully close.

I do have, I do wonder, I, I ponder if, is the Beantown podcast kind of holding things together as far as American Pakistani relations go? Probably not. It seems unlikely, but you wouldn't have guessed that anything going on in the world right now is, is likely or unlikely or anything with the Trump administration. It's all out the window, anything goes. And so who knows? Maybe the Beantown podcast actually is holding together these relations, relationships.

I don't know. It's not Pakistan, but isn't Mike Huckabee? Isn't he like the U.S. ambassador to Israel or something like that? What do we think his role actually is? Mike Huckabee. Is his daughter still the governor of what state is that? Arkansas. He was the governor for a while, and then he ran for president and didn't go very well.

and then I think that was like the Romney year or something like that Mike Huckabee he is the United States ambassador to Israel we don't why does the U.S. even need an ambassador to Israel it's like our whole country is just Israel is just America light why do we need a dedicated ambassador and what the heck is Mike Huckabee doing it's just what is the role of an ambassador you just show up to meetings Make sure no one gets angry. Talk about Jesus and God.

The whole Israel-U.S. relationship thing is interesting to me. I feel like when I think of Israel now, it's the really kind of prevailing religion when you think of Israel these days is by far Judaism. But it was like supposed to be back in the day, it was like, oh, Judaism, Christianity and Islam can all kind of coexist in peace like those bumper stickers. And now I feel like it's just the Jews, which I don't have any particular issue or fondness one way or another on this program. We're not taking any religious jabs. The only time we really do that on this shows are Easter special once a year, and that's kind of a whole Christianity, Judaism, Ten Commandments,

story thrown into one. But I don't know. I feel like the whole thing with Israel was it was supposed to be like, oh, you got, you know, here's the kind of Muslim pocket. And then, oh, yeah, the Christians, they live down here on the southwest side. And then you got some Jews scattered as well. But now it's just like all Jews. I don't know.

It's, it just, I don't have a strong opinion. It just feels kind of out of balance. Maybe it's just the lion media coverage. I don't know. but I think we I think it'd be cool if we you know infused Israel with some more Muslim kind of stuff I'm sure they would love that over there what else do we have for you today I had this thought then we'll get to our annual of the week we're all out of whack all out of order

here in our notes but I would like to start with this because you know on the show historically we love words and etymology and defining things and so I was doing a deep dive last night. I couldn't sleep. And I was like 4 a.m. and I was doing some Spanish language research about when to use. If you're going to have like two verbs, you know, for example, like I have to order a pizza. You know, half is one verb.

Two order is another verb. Or I want to go outside, you know. And you can translate these things into Español. And certainly one of these days we're going to do a full podcast in Spanish. I say it as a joke, but I also feel like it would be rough, but I could get through a sizable five to ten minute podcast in solo and Espanual. It'd be slow. The pronunciation would be bad, and I'd have a very limited vocabulary,

but I could do it. It would start with me learning the Spanish word for podcast. But I was, you know, I'm thinking there are some verbs where it's like to connect to the verbs, you don't need anything. You don't need any extra words. Sometimes you use the letter A, which is like two, T-O in Spanish. Sometimes you do E-N, N, which usually translates to in, but sometimes it's used as a connector. Whereas in English, we would just, you know, use the word T-O-T-Rell-O-O-N-T-O. But in Spanish, it's like it could be A, N, K, there's a bunch of different.

and things going on. And so that made me think, you know, what about, what is this? Let's zoom out for a second. Everyone knows the word two. It's like the first word we learn in English, basically. And, you know, you're always getting mixed up with TWO or T-O-O. But those feel, those two ones feel like they have pretty obvious, clear definitions if we're asked to define what they mean. T-W-O means, you know, twice as many as one.

T-O is synonymous with also. Tom Bien. in Spanish. But what if you asked me to define the word T.O. And I had this existential thought lying there in bed last night, so existential that I had to write it down in my notes. Everyone knows what the function of T.O. is. It really kicks off the infinitive.

But how do you actually define T.O? And I looked it up. I did a, you know, English or a Google search define T.O. and I don't even, I didn't feel like I got a satisfactory response. Let's go through this together. This is from Miriam Webster. By the way, it's a preposition, interestingly enough. And here's bullet point one.

Let's see, how many are there? There's one, there's two, there's three, there's four, there's five, there's six, seven, eight. And then it can also be an adverb. Oh, yeah, close to the wind. I feel like that's still like a preposition, don't you? then what's a preposition anyways going back to bullet point number one used as a function word i don't remember ever learning about function words you know you got conjunction junction what's your function and prepositions and interjections adverbs adjectives nouns verbs verbs pronouns pronouns but i don't remember

learning about function words it's like when you find out the animal kingdom has got all sorts of invertebrates and eukaryites and prokaryates and amoebas and you're like are these things really animals is function word really part of this and apparently they are spoiler alert this little preview for our animal of the week used as a function word to suggest now isn't the whole thing if you're using the word when you're defining the word that's a cop-out i swear if i did this in english class growing up and I used, you know, I was trying to define a word and I used that particular word in the definition. I would have gotten serious points marked off. Would it take in my 105% grade point average down to like a 104.7, which would have been brutal in the

valedictorian race versus myself. I did receive a final grade in Kathy Slothauer's Westward expansion slash explorers class of a plus plus plus plus four pluses it's like it's a mad mad mad mad mad mad world there are four pluses used as a function word to suggest actual or figurative movement toward a place person or thing to be reached used as a function word to indicate direction used as a function word to indicate contact or proximity and i mean this we're still in bullet point one here it's going abcdcd and then within d there's one and two. I've got to tell you, here's our Beantown question, Beantown poll question of the week, email us, Beantown Podcast at Yahoo.com again, that's Beantown, podcast at Yahoo.com. Is the

English word too the most versatile, hard-to-define word in the English language? I mean, just off the top of my head, I mean, I feel like the common words we use, and you think of articles, definitive articles A, Ann, or the. It's like, oh, I can define those pretty easily. But you're talking about the word too. I mean, what else, it's so meta. I'm like, what else could this be? The most hard to pin down word in the English language.

So that's my entry. By the way, the third, there's a lot of different layers of bullet points to this definition on Miriamwebster. but the third one is that it could be an abbreviation. And there's three common abbreviations they give you. Here's a little bonus trivia question before the actual trivia question. What do you think are the three abbreviations, traditional abbreviations per merriamwebster.com for TO? If you can guess any of these, I would be pretty impressed honestly.

one and two seem impossible. Three, if you're a sports fan, you could probably venture a good guess. Or a fan of baked goods. There's a little clue for you. Number three, the one I think is easier to get is turnover. Not Terrell Owens, it's turnover. Apple turnover. What other turnover flavors do you have?

I feel like when you have a baked good that's a turnover, it's almost exclusively an apple turnover. Because you get, you know, your cobblers, you get a lot of peach, but you can have like an apple cobbler or a blueberry cobbler. But when it comes to turnovers, it seems like all the turnovers I've had in my life are apple turnovers. I don't think I've ever had a peach turnover. Strawberry turnover. You get like a strawberry strudel sometimes.

But you're not out here seeing raspberry or pineapple or guava turnovers. That would be pretty cool. It sounds delicious. I actually don't really know what guava is. Is it that like creamy yellow kind of fruit? The other two, number one, table of organization for T.O. And then number two, if you got this, you win the season $9 million prize. Also good horse name right here.

Traditional orthography. Is that the study of birds? What is orthography? And where does that root come from? Because I thought it was all like the aviary. type stuff. Orthography. Oh, it's not. What's, what's, or anthology is that study of birds? Orthography is the standardized system for writing a language. It includes the rules, conventions for spelling, punctuation, capitalization, hyphenation, and word breaks.

It's kind of meta, a definition about how you define things. What do we think the bird thing is? Orinthology. Orinthology is a branch of zoology dedicated to the study of birds. There it is. What's going on with, how do we have two different, like, Latin roots for birds? Because you got, you know, aviary, aviation. Maybe that has to do with flying and orinth is about birds. I don't know. See if we can get some etymological backstory here. The word orinthology comes from the late 16th century Latin ornithology, meaning bird science,

from the Greek orin's bird and logos science. So Greek orleans is bird. So what if we go to aviation? It's the last thing we're doing on this. Then we're moving on to our animal of the week, I promise. Aviation art or active flying. Latin Avis. So Avis, Latin is bird.

Orrence and Greek is bird. Okay. So we've sort of got two different schools of thought going here. Latin and Greek. Our animal of the week, we mentioned, you know, infertibrates, infertibrites, it's like you're an infertile invertebrate. And, you know, eukaryates and procreates, you mentioned all that. So our animal of the week is the sand dollar.

I had this thought I was on Instagram just like 10 minutes before showtime. And I saw someone, you know, was at the beach or something and they posted a picture of a sand dollar. And it's just, you had to step back and think back to yourself, like, back to the zoology or biology classes you took as a youngster. and you're like, wait, that's a sand dollar. I've seen that before. Is that actually an animal or is that just like a cool rock-looking thing in the ocean?

And it is. I don't have a lot of research on it in front of me here. But the sand dollar, it's like a straight-up animal. It's like, does this thing need to eat? What does it eat? You know what? I'm so fascinated by just the concept of a sand dollar. You show me a coral or something or a C.m.

enemy it's like okay it's out there you know they're kind of locked down they got their space with sand dollars are just kind of floating around there do they have mouths do they you know do they have brains how does this work sand dollars also known as snapper biscuits in brazil or pansy shells in south africa are species of flat burrowing sea urchins uh let's see i love the sea biscuits or cake urchins this one's kind of fuzzy in the wikipedia picture that's cool. Behavior and habit. This is what I want. A sand dollar digging into the sand and low tide in the Pacific coast of Mexico. Let's play this video. I feel like, oh, it's loud. We still had our volume turned up. I feel like every time I've seen a sand dollar, it's just,

it's not moving, but this one's moving and grooving. It's like burrowing into the sand. Looks like something from Dune. Okay, you know, now we're getting somewhere. I feel like I never or even seen a Sandalor move. It just feels like something you buy at the gift shop in Hilton Head Island, South Carolina or something. This is interesting. They can be found in temperate tropical zones. Okay, I don't really care where they live.

The spines on the somewhat flat and top side and underside of the animal allow it to burrow or creep through the sediment when looking for shelter or food. So they got fine hair like cilia, C-I-L-A. Sand dollars usually eat L-E-L-A. and organic matter found along the ocean floor, though some species will tip on their side to catch organic matter floating in ocean currents. That's pretty badass.

Let's see. They gather on the ocean floor in part to their preference for soft bottom areas, which is convenient for reproduction. The sexes are separate, and as with most equinoids, gametes are released into the water column. What heck is a water column? And go through external fertilization. the nectonic larvae metamorphose through several stages before the skeleton or test begins to form

at which point they become benthic now i swear i took a zinc and magnesium pill earlier today i could have sworn benthic was the fourth active ingredient but maybe not define for 2000 what the heck does benthic mean benthos organisms that live at the ocean floor okay so benthic just means you live at the ocean floor That's pretty cool. I love when you're on an all-inclusive vacation and you spend most of your time in the pool, getting drunk, swim a bar, and then every once in a while you're feeling feisty,

and you're like, let's go into the actual water. And then you sit on the ocean floor as the waves lap over you, and you get sand in all sorts of nether regions. And at that point, you're benthic. So there you go. In 2008, biologists discovered that sand dollar larvae will clone themselves for a few different reasons. When a predator is near, certain species of sandal or larvae will split themselves in half

in a process they use to asexually clone themselves when sensing danger. Now, that is badass. The cloning process can take up to 24 hours. This is so cool. These sandalers are wild, man. They can just split in half and become brand new. They can burrow in sand. They move around with their spines.

When a sand dollar dies, it loses the spines and becomes smooth as the exoskeleton is inexhaust. So my understanding is usually when you see pictures of sand dollars, like washed up on the beach, they're probably dead because I don't think they really have spines really. Oh, this is fun. During the month of August, the sand dollar will have had its highest gonad index. I got to, we should have a Beantown podcast, GONAD index. just seems smart. Their main mode of reproduction is broadcast spawning. That's crazy.

That's like when you watch porn on the smart TV when you're having sex. Broadcast spawning. Haven't done that yet, by the way. Maybe someday. Anything else, I mean, this has been fascinating. Anything else? The gastrula, we're getting so many good Latin names here. Juvenile Sandaller.

It's a good horse name too. Wow. We learned something today. You can't say, for all the bizarreness of the Beantown podcast, you can't say that you didn't walk away learning something brand new. And speaking of learning something brand new, I would like to introduce you to some sponsors. I think we've mentioned them on the show once or twice before,

but I think it's probably worth mentioning them again just so that you're aware. Home Pride, Oregon, are you tired or selling your house for less than a quarter of what it's worth all because you couldn't find a reliable home inspector in time? Well, Oregon, listeners, I've got good news for you. Home Pride inspection services in Bend, Oregon is Central Oregon's hottest new home inspection provider with inspection services including things like heating and cooling, roofing, plumbing, and so much more. HomePriot Oregon is both contractor certified and home inspection certified so you know you're getting the good stuff. If you're tired of big real estate's little angle hold on the home

inspection market and you want a safe certified home inspector you can trust, call Steve at 541, 410,0,0316 or visit homeprideorgan.com. That's 541 4100316 or visit homepride Oregon.com. Home pride organ inspection perfection. I also want to give a shout out to the Samson Q2U series. I don't think there's any sand dollars in the Bible, but there's probably Shekels and, you know, other animals, probably a lot of cows. I don't know. What do you think is like the most niche animal that gets mentioned in the Bible? Any woolly mammoths in the Bible?

Are they roaming around back then? Probably not. Probably extinct. That's okay. When God speaks, he uses a Samson. Also our good friends at Cutsby Q, Bob and Weave, we all know the hairstyle. We all love it, but how many Chicago-based independent barbers can actually give it to you the way you deserve.

Enter Cuts by Q. It's a little like Enter Sandman, just different. Cuts by Q has been independently owned and operated since 1995 and is probably one of the better barbershop operations serving Chicago, Cook County, northwest Indiana, and the greater Chicago land area. From beehives to bangs, foahawks, the flat tops, and everything in between, call Cuts by Q at 815-298-7200 or email Cutsby-Q at Yahoo.com. Again, that's Cuts.

Q-U-T-Z. Buy Q at yahoo.com. Oh, and you need a fresh do some snap you are new. Just call the experts that cuts by Q. You know, I'm sitting here in the office overlooking Irving Park and there's a big caravan of toddlers and strollers and parents going east towards the north center town square where we are going to have mini-golf all night,

nine holes from 6 to 9 p.m. at the North Center Town Square. So if you're looking for good family-friendly entertainment, and you listen to this show right when it comes out, and you're thinking, gosh, what could I be doing on a Friday night? Excuse me. You know where to go. Here's this other, speaking of Friday night fun.

It's 5.30 p.m. here. Half an hour ago, a new bar opened up. And I won't go into all the details. It's attached to my favorite Brewer. local brewery here, Burning Bush. But I don't, it's confusing because it's like in the same space, but it's not. It's separate is a whole different thing. But this, you know, instead of a brewery, this is like a, you know, traditional liquor bar, if you will, however you would describe that. But their whole thing, their schick is that it's a dart, it's a darts bar. And so they've really

been, you know, promoting their grand opening. I mean, it literally is happening as we speak at 5 p.m. and they're all like, oh, you know, get in now, you can reserve a lane. And I, this whole time I'm seeing this, I'm like, you know, I hope this works out for you guys. But are darts so hard to come by in such a, you know, fascinating draw that you can have a whole bar centered around darts in like dart lane reservations? Is that, man, this caravan must have been a wedding. And that guy's in a white suit. Must have been at the Catholic Church, maybe. White suit.

white dress or maybe they're just late for Easter, I don't know. There's a lot going on on the street today. Are they going to play mini golf? I don't know. But there's dart-themed bar and they're like, oh, get in now so you can like reserve your lane. I'm like, do people really, people really so hyped and starved for darts

that they need to like put their name down so they can reserve a lane? It's just throw a couple darts. I don't know. What is an average game of darts? how long does that take if you're i don't know darts usually 301 to zero first person to hit it exactly wins i mean if you're throwing three darts at a time i'm not claiming to be a dart savant by any means i'm not saying oh i'm so good it'd be so fast but just generally the average person it can't take more than what three four minutes if you're going steady so why do you need

like dart lane reservations a game of bowling you know you get five people in the lane and you know you got 10 frames that you know we're talking more like 30 40 minutes if you're moving and grooving but at dart game it's just it can't be that long someone will have to talk to us about dart lane reservations and why it's a good idea and a hot commodity because i'm not seeing it and i hope this bar does well it's called like tail feathers or something like that but i don't i don't really see the niche that it fills the only thing i'll say is there's not really bars right around that area, I think, which is why the brewery has done so well. But neither here nor there, I don't know anything about business or restaurants or bars or

anything. So what do I know? I do know about our good friends at the Bean Town Sportsbook, however. Hey Sports Heads, has it been too long since you made a terrible decision? The all-new Beantown Sportsbook is now live leveraging the latest AI, advanced analytics, and obnoxious in-app advertising to turn you into a slam dunk. With the NBA and Stanley Cup finals right around the corner, there's never been a better time to send your bets up, up, and away into orbit.

The Bean Town Sportsbook is Sarah Chalkful of the best money lines, over under, same game parlay, betback guarantees, prop bets, fractional bets, ETFs, and for limited time only a $500, no risk betback winners only, just for VIP's tax-free guarantee for limited time only. Download the app today and use code darts for your first token, bet back unlimited prop, free bonus, guarantee up to $500, no limit. Texas Hold'em Omaha-style betback token. Bean Town Sportsbook, Bet like a better better. There you go.

There's a couple other things that I wanted to mention here. That was one of our most robust animals of the week, though. Shout out to the mighty sand dollar. We learned a lot. This was originally, oh, let me save this. Let me just mention this. It's apropos, since I'm getting sick. Vitamin C scam.

It's our next topic. It'll be brief. I don't have a lot to say on it. So my lovely wife, you know, Bens, you know, Flintstone Gummies and not actually Flintstone Gummies, but they're vitamins and they're gummies and they're awesome. And we got a big old tub. It's right, a tub to you be of vitamin C gummies.

And here's a question I have. So these are labeled. These are proposed to be daily vitamin C gummies. And they're delicious. They're like the little orange gummy candies. It's good stuff. It's all packed full of orange flavor. It's awesome.

Here's the scam. You turn over the back. You're looking at the instructions and the nutrition facts and it says serving size two, which I've never done two. It's like you got, you give me this big old tub, this vat. of vitamin C, a vitamin Vat. The whole point is you take one a day. You know, what are we doing here?

The scan is they tell you to take two, serving sizes two, and then you look at the nutrition facts, and you know, they're giving it to you in the serving size. So serving size in this instance being two, and the whole point of a vitamin C, right, you would think, is to get your daily supply of vitamin C. So in theory, if I'm thinking about this, correctly, you know, neglecting any other food you might eat, which I have an apple every day,

which I think has got to have some good vitamin C in it, I would think. But you would think that, okay, if I take one vitamin C tablet, it would have 100%, right? Or let me put it this way, since we framed it this way. If the serving size is two, you would think two would be around 100%, and one by itself would only be 50%. And apparently they just can't pack enough vitamin C into this one chewy orange slice. And that's why you, I'd have two. Well, you would be mistaken, my friend, because the serving size is two, and the amount, the percentage of your daily intake of vitamin C you get when you have two, 278%, which means one by itself is like, what, 139%.

And so why would I want 278% of my daily vitamin C needs when I could just have one pill or one gummy and I'm getting still almost one and a half times the amount that I need. So huge marketing scam, huge sales tactic. But I mean, I'm joking around, joshing around about it on the show here, but I'm genuinely baffled. Like is there any, the nutritionists and the zoologists out there can get in touch with us, herbologists, orangiologists, citrusologists, and tell us why could I possibly need 278 consistently if the bit you know big vitamin is telling me hey you need 278% of your daily intake

to be you know up to speed then shouldn't we just relabel what or or rejigger what the daily needs are shouldn't 278% become the new 100% I don't know it it seems very silly doesn't it? Why would I want 278% when I could have, in theory, I could bite off like 70% of this, this one, two, and I would get my 100%. So I don't know what's going on there. I don't like it. It seems very shady. The last thing I have here before we do, our trivia question, it came across a gelato, just generally on social media or someone texted something about gelato to me and it got me thinking what the heck is gelato other than just Italian ice cream like what's the difference and then that got me expanding ice cream versus gelato versus frozen yogurt

versus frozen custard but what are we you know we don't need all these different frozen treats let's just stick to ice cream and if you want gelato you want to call it gelato because you're Italian and you feel fancy that's fine but it's just ice cream or if you're Calvers and your whole thing is, oh, we don't actually have ice cream. We have frozen custard. Would you still like some? I say, yeah, obviously. But it's just call it ice cream.

And the frozen yogurt thing, you know, you know, that is, are we still in, like, the frozen yogurt shop fad? I feel like when I was a kid, like 10 years old, it was, uh, it was like fun and exciting to get to go to the frozen yogurt shop because you get to put all the toppings on it. but but who are we kidding this is just it's just ice cream the whole label of like oh it's you know frozen yogurt so you can have more it's super healthy i mean that stuff goes all the way back to the 90s to the non-fat craze so we're just constantly renaming and relabeling things

and saying you know have two vitamin c gummies instead of one it's just marketing and sales will never sleep until i don't know We all just get washed away. We all become benthic into the sea, like our sand dollar ancestors, and we can just float around and crawl in the ocean floor with our spines. I also had this thought, milkshake versus malts versus floats, although I will take a stand in this one. Malts is a very specific thing.

And this happened a couple of times when I was a caterer, like, go to a restaurant or something, and it's like, oh, you're going to get to have a treat, which is exciting. It's a big deal. but they only have like mults instead of traditional milkshakes and so i had to do some research this week to figure out like what actually is going on with malts because my entire life i have not been able to stand malted candy and it's actually it's a kind of a similar you know malt it's it's a term with like uh you have to have grains that you can malt and so barley malt and it's just like

making beer or whiskey or something, but it was just giving me some nightmarish flashbacks to like Easter's where you get Woppers, not Burger King, but the little malted chocolate candy in your Easter basket and just everyone's got their own taste aversions. Man, malted stuff makes me nauseous. I remember one time we were in like Missouri or something as a kid and we went to dinner or something and we got malts on the way back and it was i just got so nauseous riding in the car something about malted uh that that flavor i can't even describe it there's nothing else like it it is absolutely horrific to me but milkshake versus a float i is a float just by definition

like less splendid like you know put in two scoops of ice cream you pour some carbonated beverage over it and that's a float Last thing I'll say here is a shout out to the Red Robin Rockford. I don't know if they're still in business, but my friend PJ and I would throw down some serious calories for a budget price, a low, low budget price, because you could go, my friend Matthew Febler, our tax expert, you know him.

He would imbibe in this as well. You could go back in the day to the Red Robin, and you could get a bottomless ripier float for like $3.99. And, you know, this was 15 years ago, but still, not bad. $3.99. It's like the same price as like a Big Mac or something like that. And you can, they bring out these gigantic ass, you know, glass mugs, thinking, oh, most people are just going to have one and be done,

which is still great value for $4.00. whatever it was. But certainly you'd always get two. And then if you were really hungry, you could go in and dip into a third. And each one is like three scoops of ice cream and probably, I don't know, 12, 16 ounces of rip beer, just pure sugar. There's nothing like it. And then I guess if you really wanted to open up the wall and be a big spender, you could buy a $3 basket of bottomless fries or whatever it was. But bottomless being the key word on both of these instances. You just sit down and, hey, welcome to Red Robin.

You know, do you want to, maybe we can upsell you on a $15 cocktail or you can get a, you know, $14 burger or something. And, you know, you can swap out your French fries, your steak fries for tater tots. That's an extra $2. Oh, no, no, thanks. Don't want a, don't want a burger. don't want a beer, don't want a cocktail. I'll just have, for $8 or whatever, three gigantic ass mugs of rip-year float

and four baskets of fries. Thank you, and I will tip appropriately, meaning 15% of the $8 bill, which is your classic $1.20 back in the day. Tax and tip, $10, baby, to get absolutely stuffed. That's what I had for you today. Our trivia question of the week, as we came up with 40 minutes ago,

guess the top 10 coffee-producing countries of the world. And I'm not going to try to define it. You just, who produces the most coffee? I don't know. Weighed in tons. I don't know. Top 10, this is not coffee-consuming. Top-10 coffee-producing countries.

So I have just done the Google. I'm not looking at it. I think off the top of my head, I feel like I can get a couple of these. So we'll play along together. We'll just brainstorm aloud for a minute or two here, and then we'll read the list, and then that'll be our show. Brazil feels like they're always on this list, as if I've looked at this list before. I just, when I associate, when I think of Brazil, I think of piranhas and big booty ladies and coffee. kind of the big three that I look for in any country

and crime uh Indonesia feels you know Java it's in the name hey can I get you a cup of Java or if you're uh Obi-1 canobi go into Dex's diner

on Corrissant and Star Wars episode two attack of the clones you get that droid ass you want a cup of Java juice also also the native species on tattooing Java I guess now we're conflating Java and Java, but many cultures pronounce their Ws like these, so you see what I'm saying. So Brazil and Indonesia, those are two guesses. It's got to be like a tropical climate.

Like I don't think the U.S. is going to be able to nudge in here. I don't think the U.S. produces any coffee. I don't know if there are nations in Africa where coffee is a big thing, probably a little bit. Maybe like Ethiopia. We want to guess Ethiopia or Kenya. one or two or both of those could be on the list. Who else is really straddled in that equator? I mean, going back to South America, I guess it could be like Peru maybe. I don't really know what ideal coffee growing conditions are other than tropical climates. Peru, Mexico, I don't think of Mexico is coffee at all.

You know, Colombia, I feel like I've seen Colombian coffee. just like generally I have that association in my head. We're just firing blindly from the hip now. Does India have coffee? I don't think of India as really coffee. Excuse me. I don't know. You tell us, you email us Beantown Podcast at yahoo.com.

Any other obvious ones I might have missed. I'm thinking like somewhere big in Africa that's kind of in the middle, like Democratic Republic of the Congo. I could see them doing some coffee. Nigeria, maybe a little bit too far north, too sandy, I don't know, but like a, yeah, like a Democratic Republic of the Congo, or like a Uganda or something like that. Edie Amin, last king of Scotland. What was that guy's deal? Why did he want to be the king of Scotland?

I've never seen that movie. I've just seen the scene where they hang James McAvoy up by the meat hook stuck in his back. not great. That Eid Amin was kind of nuts. Okay, let's see. Wikipedia, List of Countries by Coffee Production. Here we go.

Are we going to have a nice, neat list? Yes, we do. Oh, man, we missed. We named a decent amount of these, actually, but we missed some obvious ones. Or one or two. Okay, so this is production in tons. Number one, Brazil.

Two, the big, one we missed Vietnam. Then three is Indonesia. We named it. Four, Columbia, we named it. Five, Ethiopia. We named it. Six is Honduras. We did not name it. I was kind of sniffing around. It was like, you know, Central America. We got to Colombia. I think we mentioned Peru, which is right. Actually, it's number what, 10 here? No, eight. But I never would have guessed something like Honduras, because it's just too small. I would have guessed Guatemala before that. Let's see. The next one here. Number seven is Uganda.

Just talked about James McAvoy and the Meat Hook. Number eight, Peru. Nine, we did not commit to it, but we mentioned India. And then number 10, Central African Republic, which I said Democratic Republic of the Congo, I'm going to take a partial victory, meaning I didn't actually get it right, but I want to feel better about myself. And then just outside the top 10, if you're curious, the next one's up, were Guatemala, Guinea, Mexico, Laos, and Nicaragua.

Democratic Republic of the Congo, I'm just trying to see if were there any other ones we brainstormed about that made it. Democratic Republic of the Congo is 21st. Kenya is 24th. And, yeah, nothing else too interesting there. No, no, like, crazy ones, no, you know, nothing outside of the tropics, really. I guess China is in there. China came in at number 16th.

I wouldn't have guessed that. But no Iceland's or New Zealand's or that sea land country that's just like a shipping platform off the coast of England. That's pretty cool. That's what I have for you guys. Thank you so much for tuning into my show. Quinn David Furness presents the Beantown podcast. I hope everyone is not getting sick like I am. I hope you enjoy this beautiful May weekend.

and yeah, we'll leave it there. We'll come at you live. Oh, Preakness Stakes this Sunday, I believe, not actually at Pimico at somewhere else, which is not as exciting, but it's kind of the undercard for a horse name special. Maybe I'll think of something, put it on Instagram. We'll see.

My name is Quinn David Furnace. This is my show. Quinn David Furnace presents the Beantown podcast. I hope everyone's staying safe, staying sane. I will check in on you guys next week. Bye-bye.