Beantown Podcast - Embarrassing Moments, The Book of Mark, and Ruby Port (12052025 Beantown Podcast)

Episode Date: December 6, 2025

Quinn comes to you LIVE with a new (used) car to discuss extended warranties, moody dogs, and Zdeno Chara's fighting ability

Hey, what's going on? It's Quinn David Furness. Welcome to my show. Quinn David Furness presents the Beantown podcast for Friday, December 5th, 2025. Just near weeks until we launch season nine of Quinn David Furness presents the Beantown podcast. What's going on? What's happening? How are you? My name is Quinn, and this is my program. Quinn David Furness presents the Bean Town podcast. I hope everyone's having a great holiday season, this nice little valley of free time, really, between Thanksgiving and Christmas.

Always feels like it's going to be a little bit longer than boom. You look at your calendar, and Christmas Day is 20 days from right now. It's going to fly by. I am the creator, the host, and we've definitely done this one. recently, but the chief wine expert, the port expert, actually, I'm a porter, that's what they would call it, someone who carries the canoes between, you know, rivers when there's a waterfall or something like that, right? I'm drinking Trader Joe's Port, if you can believe it. That's right. You can take the boy out of Lisbon, but you can't take the Lisbon out of the boy. This is my first ever

Trader Joe's Port. They've got two that I could find. purchased yesterday. First, I was looking in the Spain and Portuguese section. That seemed like a good place to start. And then I was, no luck. And so I went to the dessert wines. And there, there you go. Lo and behold, all the way on the bottom shelf, you got to really bend down to find it. But they have two. They've got the Ruby Port, which is what I'm sipping on tonight. I don't know how much we talked about port during the honeymoon podcast. I can't remember, but it's a dessert wine and there were kind of three main flavors at least at the wine bar we went to. It was Ruby, which is just red, essentially. And was it a white? Was that the second one? And then there's the Tawny port,

which is my favorite, which I know we talked about last week because I talked about Even Stevens for a handful of minutes. But the Trader Joe's by us has the Ruby and the Tawny. So I purchased the Ruby. It's very sweet. So we're going to take it. one sip at a time here. And then next, some one of these days, try to get it in before dry January. I'm sure if I really apply myself, I'll be able to. But I'll purchase the tawny.

The tawny was like double the price of the ruby. And I just was trying to keep my grocery bill as low as possible. But, yeah, we're sipping on the Trader Joe's Ruby port here. Very sweet. good for dessert or for recording podcasts um i wanted to also mention one of the reasons that i was saving money on my grocery wheel was because i had my biggest single purchase of all time in my life today no longer is it the one hundred fifty dollar ipod nano third generation from target after my piano lesson in seventh grade it is now a mazda cx5 that's right rachel and i are

the proud owner's first ever car that we've ever purchased. We've certainly driven family vehicles before, but we got it all legitimate, authentic bill of sale, although it's my name only on it. So Rachel's on the insurance, but, you know, when we're talking brass tax and I paid a lot of taxes today, I hope the state of Illinois is happy. It's really just me, but that's okay. I like to share. Rachel's a good driver. got the Mazda. I want to give a shout-out to a good friend of the show who's been on a multitude of times, John Paul Pandowski, for the recommendation that really tipped the scales in the 11th hour, if you will, as I was really starting to get serious about car research over the last month

and change. You know, I was really, for a while, I was, you know, I'm such a Honda loyalist because that's what we drove growing up, Honda Accords. I was really like, you know, CRV or bust. And then I started to learn about the HRV, which is like the CRV, but slightly smaller and a little bit more affordable. And then I was kind of leaning into that. And, you know, perused your RAV-4s from Toyotas and your whatever the other one from Subaru is. Is it the Forrester, the Outback? I don't remember. My sister-in-law loves Subaru.

She would kill me. I think it's the Forrester. I think the Outback is a sedan. But I'm not a car guy. I told that to the dealership a million times today. know if that was a good thing to do or a bad thing to do, but I'll tell you what. They were nice, but they weren't afraid to be pushy to try to get me to get those extended warranties. And I had to talk to three different salespeople to say no to all of them.

In fact, this will factor into our most embarrassing moments. I guess that's not really embarrassing. So maybe it should take it off the list. I wasn't embarrassed at all. But it was a little bit more awkward. Anyways, we mentioned last week, we teased that we would do a little power ranking this week of life's most embarrassing moments. So I guess we could throw embarrassing and awkward into all of that together. And we'll get to that in a little bit here. But thank you to everyone who emailed us, Beentown Podcast at Yahoo.com. Again, it's Beentown Podcast at Yahoo.com with your suggestions.

You've got a grand total of zero, which we're really looking forward to reading on the air in just a couple moments here. I should mention listener discretion advice when you're listening to the Beentown podcast. one will occasionally some language. Number two, this podcast is objectively terrible. But yeah, drove home today, took two buses to get to the dealership and drove home in my own car. I already said, you know, I was perusing through the AM radio to get my favorites going. I've got three favorites so far across the dial. I've got 670 the score, Chicago Sports 720 WGN, Chicago's News, and then 97.7.7. 7.5 NPR. Those are the three presets. I'm guessing Rachel's not going to want to change or add to any of that. We should be good with pretty much of those three channels, I would assume. Not really a need for much else. It's got AM radio and FM radio. You want to know what kind of technology these cars have these days. No touchscreen, but that's okay. We're going to learn how to use the knob, which is really exciting. Reminds me of Gobbler's Knob, Groundhog Day.

Yeah, we bought some all-weather mats, which could be a good, I don't know, good like collective name for half of our male friend group. We've got a lot of mats in our lives. I certainly won't go through a name all of them individually for fear of leaving someone off, certainly. But I would say, I don't know, if we really pooled our heads together, me and Rachel and Maple and came up with all of our friends, male and female, I feel like we got mats at like a three to one. ratio, it feels like. So if you're a Matt listening out there, particularly, you know, good friend of the show, Matt Fiedler, who's also going to, is going to have a mention, a slight appearance when we get to our power rankings in a few moments here. But shout out to Matt, our tax expert. I should have asked Matt before I bought this car today, if there's anything about taxes. I need to know. Maybe that will be our topic of discussion, because April

2026 and tax season are only a handful of months away here. But big day, big, big week coming off of the honeymoon and coming off of Thanksgiving, how many people can say that they bought a used car and got laid off from their job of six and a half years all in one week? What a, what a time to be alive. The money is just going out of the account, out, out, out, not a lot of in-in-in-in. But it's okay. I'm not going and I signed some sort of as part of my severance agreement, it was interesting, there's like a clause

in my severance agreement that I signed to get my big, big money from DePaul University that is basically like don't bad mouth the university, but it's not like it's not like some sort of NDA or something where I can't talk about

my time. It's just like, it's basically like the most flimsy worded clause of all time. No offense to our wonderful attorneys on staff here to Paul, where I'm still an employee for seven more days. But kind of interesting to have this clause, basically saying, like, please don't say anything bad about us

after you get laid off. Six and a half years of your life, plus another three as a student. What a time to be alive. No ill wishes. But on to bigger and better things. Good thing the podcast makes big, big money and good thing maple doesn't cost a lot of big big money with her prozac and her clonidine and

her voracious appetite especially since we introduced cheese into the kibble these last couple days but we'll get to maple in a minute here and good thing my wife has a big big earner three hundred thousand dollars four hundred thousand dollars a year 500k and a bonus so i was just telling her earlier this morning i'm thinking maple and i might buy a little condo down in Coral Gables, which I had to look up because it's like, who actually knows where Coral Gables is. It's basically where Golden Girls took place. It's like just south of Miami. It's great Florida because it's not actually on the ocean. It's just like inland and condos and swamps. And that's what Maple and I are going to do.

We're going to sit with our legs dangling over the dock, watching out for gaiters, of course. fishing. Essentially, like, because I'll mention this because we just finished it. We just finished the righteous gemstones. Hard stop. Shows over. And a lot of what Roseanne's husband does, John Goodman, in season four, he just wants to be left alone so he can fish, whether he's on his dock or on his boat. And I don't know, now that I'm laid off and Maple's been out of work for a year and a half since we've had her. I think we might just go get that condo in Coral Gables. Right, Mepel? Yeah. Mom can come visit us on the weekends. It'll be great.

I want to shout out our good friends in Pakistan. I don't know if Pakistan has any Mazda's MAZDA, but whether you do or not, thank you for making us the 112th ranked comedy podcast in the Islamic Republic of Pakistan. And I want to give a shout out to the multitudes of people legitimately plural it was more than one who sent me their Spotify wrapped that had the Beantown podcast as a you know like the number two podcast on the year number three or 112 whatever it was thanks for mentioning me thanks for I don't think I got any tags I think it was just DMs and then I posted it to Instagram I think that's the way you're supposed to do it but we got to spread the word somehow don't forget about beatonpodcast.com beantown podcast.com

com slash store wonderful this time of year you're looking for the perfect gift giving guide we got the teas we got the buttons we got the patches my sister-in-law not the Subaru one the other one just agreed to do a bunch of pre-order sewing quilting patches that say beantownpodcast com just in time for the holidays she doesn't know about it yet but it'll be great so send us an email it'll be great use the contact us form on the website. And don't forget to leave us a like, a subscribe, and a five-star rating. It's been a while since we got a five-star rating on Apple Podcasts or Spotify, however that works. So go ahead and give us a rating. Let us know where you're listening from. Maple's Minute this week is

brought to you by our good friends at Home Pride, Oregon. And, you know, we're in our apartment here. It's radiator heat. These things are boiling. In fact, I'm awfully close to crack in a window right now because that's how hot it is. But if you don't have radiator heat, if it's more of a, you know, you got central heat, I think is what they call it, or whatever's going on with your HVAC. And so much more, guys, buying a home is going to probably be your most expensive thing followed by a car and an iPad Nano from Target. So you're going to want to go with the experts, Steve, 5414100316, or email HomePride Organate. email.com. I should mention, you know, because I'll forget to text him live on the

year. And actually we got, you know, little Stevie, Stevie Ray Vaughn, I call him if he's listening. And my mom as well, and then my lovely wife here, all were listed on a form that I had to fill out today for my financing. And it was basically the way the finance lady explained it to me because I was, he has for three references. And it's like their names, their phone number and their address. And the way she explained it was like, if you stop, if you default on your payments to the bank and you don't pay and you go AWOL, they'll hunt down your relatives and dangle them over a pit of tar or something. I think it was more like they're just going to try to contact my mom and dad or my wife to,

you know, get in touch with me, but I don't know. The way she kind of cracked her knuckles, it was almost like, ooh, sent a shutter down my spine. So hopefully that doesn't, you know, hopefully we can separate business specific. home pride organ from pleasure our new mazda cx5 but uh that's steve and he's an expert uh home pride organ inspection perfection maple's minute this week she is in some sort of teen era teen mood teenage mutant ninja turtles or what's the power rangers so they have are they like teenage mutant power rangers if they have a bigger name than just power rangers or am i misremembering something. Then there's Teen Titans, which I think was a cartoon network show

or something. And then there's the other avatar, the last Airbender, I think that kid was like a teen maybe. He didn't really look like an adult, but with anime, it's hard to say. How the heck did we get here? Oh, Maple's going through her teen moment where she no longer wants to sleep in the bedroom with us. She is literally on the couch upwards of 20 to 22 hours a day. day at this point, depending on how much time she spends in the office with mom. And so she's really given off that, like, it's like the male lions who sleep 20 hours a day while the females hunt. That's essentially maple. She's really glued to the spot here. No longer wants to sleep next to her parents. And I think it's less a sign of, like, independence and more, I don't know if

She's cold in the bedroom, or she just really, really likes this spot. But that's Maple's Minute this week. She's glued to the couch. That's where she is right now. She's taking a little nap before bed here. It's a good idea. Maple, we only got a handful of episodes left in season eight before we retire Maple's Minute. It's been a fun run.

Well, we'll still bring it back from time to time. But it was a season eight installation. and I think we've really explored what we need to explore. So I'm not going to commit to anything like once a month or once a quarter or anything like that. As it arises, we'll do it. But I don't want to keep doing it just to do it, you know. It's like when we ran out of palindromes and then we had to start recycling them. And every other week was race car, dugisie God, or big white bubbly beluga.

So that's Maple's Minute this week, and let's keep it going here for our hot take of the week. We should have it on hot take for Home Bride, Oregon, because it is getting steaming in this apartment right now. I don't know if you're feeling hot, too, but I'm just... Well, I don't want to... Yeah, I don't want to open up this one too much because Mother Mary might... We got a great assortment of items here on the window ledge. We have our camera, our indoor camera for separation anxiety training. Speaking of which, we have a photo of Maple.

And then we have a statue of Mother Mary that I found in Baltimore. We've got a pumpkin because Halloween's right around the corner. And we have a commemorative Duncan Keith. That's right, number two for the Blackhawks. Was it Aspen Dental, something like that? I can't remember as a floss holder where you put the floss in the back of his head and then you pull the dental floss through the gap in his teeth and you use it to floss. And that was what, like our second or third date, third or fourth, something like that

right before the pandemic kit. And we got two commemorative Duncan Keith floss holders. And I don't know, something happened to yours. Someone stole it or something. But I don't know. Oh, she threw it out. Okay. Well, we still got one. Well, we could have one for decoration and one for, you know, actual flossing. That's right. Well, things to consider. How did we, or a hot take. Oh, it's brought to you by our good friends at Cutsby Q. I already mentioned our website. of course, you can also go to beantownpodcast.com slash cuts dash by dash Q when you need a fresh do something snappy or new. Call the experts at cuts by Q. And guys, we are now mobile. So whether you are in Palmer Square or Gary or Harper's Ferry, you know, I do charge, you

know, 50 cents a mile if you're outside of the Chicagoland area. But I'll come to you. I'll trim you up real good. I'll do nose hairs, Sweeney Todd, the whole nine yards. So that's cuts by cue. It is our hot take of the week. And I got to tell you, I preempted my hot take of the week

by already talking about layoffs. It wasn't even a hot take. I mean, this was really a tepid take of the week. But it was just, you know, layoffs are brutal. This is my first time ever being laid off. I got laid off slash pseudo. I was going to say fired, but I just had a meeting for them last night for this other consulting gig I do. But twice and one year, that's two punches right to the gut.

I got to call up Duncan Keith and see how he would take those two punches right to the gut during a hockey fight. But it reminds me of playing, you know, like NHL 13 or whatever the latest video game I have is on here on my PlayStation 3. thanks to my father-in-law for the generous gift. But in these hockey games, you know, you always have like your enforcers or some sort of like quality, you know, you got like speed and shooting ability and skating ability and toughness and all that stuff. There's got to be one of those metrics in these hockey games has to be like, how good of a fighter are you?

And then because you can get into these fist fights and land haymakers and uppercuts and jabs and all that stuff. but what I like to do is get into fights when I'm playing as the 2013 Blackhawks to get into fights with Patrick Kane because he's like the last guy on the team and fighting ability you know he's like 5-9 150 and you get two punches to the gut like I got this year and he's down for the count what I really like doing is playing the Bruins and having Patrick Kane go up against Zadano Chara here's a mini In the middle of the episode, trivia question for you. Guess? And I'll play along, too, because I haven't looked this up. This is off the cuff. Guess the height difference in inches between Bruins' defensive legend, Zedano Chara. That's right. Z-D-E-N-O-C-H-A-R-A, Zadano Chara, and Blackhawks legend and potential rapist, Patrick Kane. I think, so I said Kane was like 5'9. I think Kane is like, any

still playing technically. I think they're going to list him at like 510, 511, when he's probably like 5.4 in reality. I'm getting a guess 511 for Kane, and I think Charo's like 6-8, 6-7 maybe, 6-7. Oh, the kids will love this show. So that's what I did. I'm going to guess, my final guess is nine inches. So let's go first here, Patrick Kane height. And we're just going off of whatever Google says right away. 5.10 is what we have for Patrick Kane, which I think is right what I'm, I was sniffing around. And now let's go to Zadano Chara height. And Google says 6.9. Oh, man, he's taller than I thought. So that was 11 inches. I think I was I think I was short by like two or three. Yeah, imagine playing NHL 13 and you're a little Patrick

Kane there got a foot. Oh, yeah, 11 inches. This guy's a foot taller than you. Trying to take you down. You just got a bob and weave, just like Cut Spike He would tell you to do. We all know the hairstyle. We all love it. And that's our hot take of the week. Obviously, it's not hot to say that layoffs are brutal, but getting it twice in one year. That's like if you got chlamydia twice in one year. C-H-L-A-Y. Bless you. Don't know. How does chlamydia end? Both in spelling and in symptoms. Yeah. I think it's AY, right? And then like M-I-D-I-A, something like that. I never had an STD knock-on-wood. I don't really know the differences between like your chlymidias, your gonorrhea's, your syphiluses.

I feel like those are the three big ones. Are there other like mainstream STIs or STDs that we should cover here in the interest of public health? I've got our research team over here. chlamydia, syphilis, gonorrhea, those are the three that always come to my mind. It's a yeast infection ever in STD, or is that always a completely separate related thing? I feel like there could be a great opportunity, and this is really stretching the bounds of imagination, but there's so many great minor league baseball and hockey team names, including like there's one out here in Peoria or close to Peoria, somewhere along the Illinois River, and they're the radioactive shrimp. So there's got to be some opportunity for a team to

become like the baguettes or something. That would be a good women softball team name, right? The baguettes. I feel like baguette implies that there's a larger loaf that is just a bag. Am I right? Am I missing something? Baguette? But the whole point of this is there'd be a great marketing opportunity if you were, you know, the East St. Louis Begets or whatever, to all of a sudden, this would work much better, frankly, if it was a women's softball league, to have a yeast infection. And it's, you know, it's like everyone gets to wear, you know, you hand out yeast hats to the first 10,000 fans. And I don't know, it's just, it's going to be a lot of, like, video board stuff, I think. You know, you're going to get, like, infected. We could do like a 28 days later crossover.

I saw there's going to be a not only, so what was this, two years ago, a year ago was the third film in the Danny Boyle trilogy. It was 28 years later. First it was with Killian Murphy 28 days later, then 28 weeks later, and then we get the 28 years later. That was last year, two years ago, whatever. But I saw the trailer for the sequel to 28 years later. I was like, we just finished the trilogy.

So now we're doing sequels. It's called 28 years later, Bone, Bones something, Bone Kingdom. You know what I'm talking about? Bonepocalypse. I don't know. It's got Rayfefeen's. That's right. R-A-L-P-H.

I don't know when those British decided we were going to say, oh, yeah, that's, yeah, his name is Ralph. So we'll call him Rafe. I'm not seeing Rafe between Rafe and Colonel. I don't know what we're doing here. Yeah, it's called like the Bowen. Bone, the Bone Kingdom or the Bone Doctor or something. Is there a Christmas link with Elvin and the Chipmunks? Do they have like a Christmas album or a Christmas movie or a special or am I just, you know, missing something?

Well, their song, right? It's like Christmas, Christmas. That's like their, their, like, biggest song, right? But from like the original, the original, like, cartoon. right it was which doctor like part of the original alvin and the chipmunks or did that come from like the movies yeah so like the original you know 60s elvin and the chipmunks cartoon they still sing that song right that's like their song so no that's okay i'm just wondering so well i never really made this connection before people are always like okay what are these fringe christmas movies and it's always like die hard

and you know that's the one that comes to mind but is elvin and the chipmunks like a a Christmas movie, a Christmas cartoon should we be placing more stock into this. Someone's, we got to do a Beantown Investigates special on this. It'll be like 20, 20, 20 or 60 minutes with Diane Sawyer. Excuse me, it'll be good stuff. I always love when that clock starts ticking, you know, at the end of the football game, the 3 p.m. window on CBS. Jim Nance is like 60 minutes coming up except for you on the West Coast and that clock is

ticking. if that clock is ticking for the whole 60 minutes. I mean, that's 3,600 ticks. I never really watched 60 minutes live. I'm assuming that clock doesn't tick the whole time. But imagine if it did. Imagine if you're trying to watch a full hour-length program. And, you know, Diane, I was going to say Diane Fosse, that's not right. Michael, Tom Brokaw is, was he ever the host of 60 Minutes? I don't know. Tom Brokaw is interviewing Colin Powell about his decision to invade Iraq. But that wasn't really his decision, right? He was Secretary of State.

He's interviewing Dick Cheney in 2003. The lights are hot. And they, you know, why did you decide to invade Iraq? What are you looking for? And Dick Cheney says, we have reason to believe that there's WMDs and mission accomplished and all that stuff. Rest in peace, Dick. And the whole time he's asking these hard hidden questions, you're just hearing this in the background. Second mini trivia question of the week here, because we have an actual trivia question. And then we'll get to our power ranking, which I didn't actually rank. It's going to be more of a power list.

What year did 60 minutes start? I'm just assuming that 60 minutes has always been like a CBS Sunday night television program and it didn't start like a War of the World's thing like a radio only program. I don't think it's that old. What year, we're all playing along here, I haven't looked it up, what year did 60 minutes start? I'm going to guess 60 minutes started in the 60s, something. time. I'll guess 19, huh, that might be too, I don't know if that feels too early, too late. I don't think it's too, too late. I'm going to get 60 minutes started in 19, I'm going to go a little bit later. 1971 is my guess for 60 minutes. Talk about a creative name for a TV show. I'm going to start a Beantown podcast called 3,600 seconds. Uh, 1968. Was that what I said originally and then I changed my answer to 1971? You got to be kidding me. And who was the most recent person? Oh, is Anderson Cooper? 60 Minutes. Who do we think the original host was?

Debuting in 1968, the program was created by Don Hewitt and Bill Leonard. Okay, do we have like a list of hosts over the years? That'll be a good journey through time. Correspondents and hosts. Leslie Stahl. Oh, this is from 1991. Oh, it didn't. have a host until 1991 interesting uh i think i oh that's a lady i was just back old school thinking like leslie that's got to be a guy's name but leslie's a guy's a lady scott uh scott pally he's like a classic cbs guy you'd know him if you saw him Anderson cooper bill whittaker oh i'm not familiar with bill whittaker i know bill withers Sharon alfonzi and then uh john Wertheim doesn't have a picture on Wikipedia. What a no name. And Cecilia Vega. Interesting.

Oh, those were the current ones. I was trying to get like a timeline. I was like, these people are recent. Former hosts, Mike Wallace. Mike Wallace is a classic. Harry Reasoner, Morley Safer, Dan Rather, Ed Bradley, Diane Sawyer, Meredith Fierra, Bob Simon, Christian Amunpur, Lara Logan, Steve Cross. off than John Dickerson. I feel like Meredith Vieira, granted, she was around for much longer than before I really caught wind of her. But she, I felt like she really had kind of, she really peaked in that, like, early to mid-2000s Renaissance, where she not only got the today's show job, but she got, who wants to be a millionaire. And, well, I say peaked. Turns out that was like, I don't want to say like that was her swan song, but I guess what I'm realizing is that was like her last bit of being really famous because she had already been on like

the view and 60 minutes and stuff. So when I first encountered her, Meredith, it was really, you know, when she took over for, what was it, Katie Corrick left. I remember that feeling like it was a really big deal. And maybe in hindsight it was. I don't really know. But just as someone who watched the Today Show like every morning with my mom from, I don't know, probably like 2000 until like 2005 or something. It felt like a big deal when Katie Couric left. And then Matt Lauer had the whole, what was the thing? He was just like sexually abusive. I don't even remember. Matt Lauer is one of those interesting things. I could have seen, you wouldn't have shocked me if you said like at some point during one of these Trump administrations, Matt

Lauer is going to like make his comeback. And I don't know, just because he's like a New York guy in the Today Show and Trump and those, you know, that geographic connection. I don't, you know, I don't, and I don't know if the, you know, the Today Show and NBC News tends to be left leaning. I don't know what Matt Lauer's particular leanings are. By assumption, I would say, or by association, I would guess, left leaning. But my point being, it wouldn't have surprised me if at some point and maybe it's still to come because we're less than a year into the Trump administration part two if Matt Lauer like decided he wanted to make his comeback although maybe he's one of those guys for better for worse it is just like has so many millions of money and does whatever he wants

out there on Long Island that he doesn't feel like he needs to make any sort of comeback I mean he's got to be what like in his 60s now so I don't know final thing we're going to look up and then we're going to move into our power rankings here again, they're not really power rankings, but just a list. Matt Lauer age. 67. 67, Matt Lauer. He's everywhere.

So we mentioned this last week that I was watching wedding crashers on the flight home from Portugal. And I think I'd seen wedding crashes before, but, you know, it's one of those things where, like, you remember the general plot, but not anything specific that happens. Well, it turns out there's nudity. just, you know, bare breasts, but, like, not just like a passing glance. Like, the director really wanted you to know that there was going to be nudity. And it caught me off guard as you would expect because you're in a plane. Not only are you in a plane, it's one thing if you're like in the window seat and you're kind of all off in your little world by yourself, especially if you're, you know,

your spouse or your partner or whatever sitting next to you. So you got a little bit of buffer. But when you're sitting smack dab in the middle, I mean, there's eight seats to a row and you're right in the middle. And you got bare breast flash up. I don't care who you are unless you're just like completely disconnected from reality. That's a little bit. And again, it's not even so much embarrassing. Like I don't feel embarrassed that I let that happen, that I let nudity happen on my plane backseat screen. What did you say? A little, well, I'm a little embarrassed, but it's more so just like this, I would feel uncomfortable or bad about the situation

if, like, there was a little kid sitting behind me along with their parent. And now the parent is like somewhat upset, somewhat like, it's almost like secondhand embarrassment. Like, I would feel bad if the parent felt awkward for their kid. And I don't know who was sitting behind me. I don't know if anyone actually, this was in the middle of an eight-hour flight. Like, who's awake, who's not? I don't know. But that, that, that, that, that spawned a thought that I had that we mentioned last week where we should discuss some of the most embarrassing moments. And so I cobbled together. That's right. I cobbled C-O-B-L-E-D. A few on a list. And it started off as more of like a general thing.

And then it devolved into some of my own personal experiences. So we're just going to take it as it comes. Excuse me. But I should mention that this power ranking is brought to you by our good friends at this excuse me kind of case of the belches came out of nowhere by our good friends sometimes you're seeing a deep breath and no one knows that better than the samson q2 you series if you're looking for crisp clear audio quality you gotta trust a samson when god speaks he uses a samson trying to see if i learned any good biblical facts this past week I don't think so.

What are the, how does the Christmas story go as far as these Gospels are concerned? We definitely get some Christmas action in Luke. I feel like a lot of like the classic quotable scriptures come from Luke. I think we get some stuff from Mark as well. Mark has got to be, I mean, we could do a whole show dedicated to power ranking the Gospels. Who the heck? I mean, I feel like Matthew and John are really kind of like the heavy hitters as far as

like adult Jesus goes or even tingeus, which is baby Billy, Uncle Baby Billy, Freeman from the righteous gemstones, Walton Goggins. Great show, rest and peace. Not to Walton Goggins, but righteous gemstones. But in then, you know, Luke, I feel like, I don't know, there's got to be good, like, crucifixion stuff in there, too, I would assume. But you get a lot of, like, the Christmas nativity set from Luke, nativity story from Luke. Mark, I don't know, what the heck's going on. And it's my own ignorance. But mark my words, I have no idea what happens in the gospel of Mark. I think Mark's got some prenatal stuff going on in there, too. I think one of either John or Matthew is like nothing. We just wake up one day and Jesus is a teenager.

Bust in the temple. That sounded weird. He's like going around and flipping the tables because they're gambling and stuff. He's not busting in the temple. Like the cool, man, or The Thing from Fantastic Four. What was I trying to say? Oh, yeah, I don't know what happens in Mark. But you know who does? And if I ever want to do, this would be a good idea. Next Christmas, Christmas gift. I don't have enough time now. It's only 20 days remaining, but the Beantown podcast reads the Gospels featuring the Samson Q2U series. How long do you think that would take? I mean, we did the Scott Farrell audiobook, which I feel like we've gone a

record amount of time since mentioning. In case you don't know, it's an autobiography of a very troubled man named Scott Farrell from Rockford, who ran his own light opera company. And I played piano for one of his productions when I was like a junior in high school. And I end up getting mentioned in this book. And for a very limited period of time, he sold copies of his biography. And Matthew Fiedler and I bought each other copies for Christmas. And my friend Matthew Feather, one of the many mats, aforementioned mats, who was going to show up in these power rankings in the second year. Anyways, where the heck were we going? Oh, I did an audio recording in case you're wondering, you can email me because Scott's kind of litigious, although he doesn't have any money,

so I could definitely like unearth these, but I just don't want to deal with any legal bullshit. it. Anyways, I recorded the entire audiobook in four segments and it's on YouTube. So that's kind of the basis for what I'm getting at here with recording the Gospels. In my original question two minutes ago was how long would it take compared to this audiobook? The troubling thing is I can't compare based off of page numbers because Scott's book stopped numbering his pages after like 48, I think, was the last page that was numbered.

I feel like the Gospels would take longer. I don't know. Each one of them's got like 30 chapters, something like that. So we're talking like 120 chapters-ish. I don't know. Probably the Gospels will be longer. Maybe I'll just focus on Mark. Maybe that'll be my whole thing.

No one knows what's in Mark. No one's really ever read it. So this is our chance to spread the word about Jesus and more importantly about Mark. Who was Mark even? I mean, we know the name. like you see marks in real life mark prior marking mark in the funky bunch my dad's middle name my uncle but when you really drill down to brass tacks as we did earlier on the show mark is not one of those names in the bible where you're like oh yeah that guy he he was pretty

he was pretty good he's not he's not a paul or solomon or a david or a jess or a Samson Q2U series. He's just Mark. Like, what the heck? Probably just some guy living in his mom's basement writing on stone tablets. How do you think they wrote on those stone tablets? You got to etch into them. But if you gave me a big slob, not a slob, if you gave me a big slab of basalt or onyx,

I wouldn't even know what tool they get to start etching. You need one of those little things with, like, kind of the, like, a flathead screwdriver and then, like, a hammer that you can really, like, you know, pound hammer into it. But I wouldn't have the dexterity to get, you know, etched into a tablet. You get me an etch a sketch, and I can do, like, Mona Lisa type stuff. But with an actual tablet, granite, who, good luck. I need something like some of that lava rock we saw in the Canary Islands. That I might be able to etch a little bit better. All right.

So we already mentioned airplane movie nudity. That's been well documented. The other thing I alluded to earlier was just sitting through all of the car salesmen. I mean, bullshit. Like, I see what they're trying to sell. And it's a game. And we both know we're playing. And I try my best in that situation.

I mean, this is all brand new to me. This all happened today. literally, for the first time in my life, first time I ever went to a car dealership, where it's like you go in knowing you're going to decline all the extended warranty and the care package they're trying to offer you and stuff. But you don't want to go into it right up front, or maybe you do, I don't know, but I didn't want to go in and just be like, hey, whatever you're trying to sell me extra, I'm not going to do it. You want to show respect for their craft, for their game. You want to let them do their thing.

that they get paid to do. But it's awkward when it's like you're trying to be patient, you're trying to listen, and I legitimately had three different salesmen or finance reps or whatever you want to call yourselves, like give me the full court press on this stuff and like why it was worth it. And then my favorite part is, you know, you'll say no, they give you their initial price. It was like, I don't know, it was like three grand for the extended warranty and another like $1,500 for their like care package with, you know, oil change. and entire rotations and stuff.

And then you say no and it's like, okay, well, let me go talk to my manager and, you know, they're gone for 20 minutes. They come back. Like, they're like, good news. We can, we're going to, you know, usually we wouldn't do this. That's their phrase. Usually we wouldn't do this. But we'll include all that just for the original $3,000.

We'll knock off the $1,500 or whatever. And I'm just like, you know, still no. And then they come, you know, go back and talk to their manager or whatever they do, have cup of coffee, and then to say, okay, would you do it for $9.95? And I'm just like, you know what, that's great value at that point. But I'm just, at some point, you got to just stick to your guns. And so I feel, I don't, I was going to say I feel bad. I don't feel bad. I mean, I did what I had to do. I also recognize that these dealerships really make their money off of selling those additional things. And so it's like, I'm probably, I'm probably like their least favorite kind of customer who's

relatively savvy. It's going to say no hard stop to pretty much whatever they offer and they're not going to end up making that much money, presumably off of my particular sale. But you know what? I got to look out for my own interests, even when it's a slightly awkward, maybe embarrassing situation. I wasn't embarrassed. Maybe they were when they couldn't sell me the limited time only extended warranty. Next up, this is a classic. Thinking you locked the bathroom door. and you didn't. This hasn't, hasn't happened to me in a while. And usually it's pretty rare when I'm in a public place where I would be taken to number two and not a number one. But even if you're taking a number one and you think you lock the door and you didn't, someone walks in, that's still like a

shock, a jolt to the system. Even if you just got, you know, your hoo-ha hanging out, you're just doing a quick little 20-second pee, it's still like, oh, my gosh, it's awkward. Like, they're walking in. Like, you feel bad for them. That's the thing. I feel more embarrassed about the fact that you walked in on me and you had to experience that unexpected surprise rather than, like, oh, my gosh, you're seeing me peeing. Like, I don't care about that.

Like, you can watch me pee in my own home. I don't care. I'll do a live stream. But it's more of the, I'm sorry you had to go through that type of situation. But that's a classic. I mean, that could probably be number one on a lot of people's big boards. It's one thing, I experienced a couple of different bathrooms in Europe where the lock just wasn't functioning. And that's always tough too because you're like racing against the clock.

If you're lucky you're in a situation where you can like go to the bathroom while holding the door closed manually with your hand. And if it's a cramped situation. But yeah, if you're in like a slightly larger space, you just got to gun it, try to pee as fast as you can. That was on our list here. A couple more here. We mentioned Matthew Feather would be making an appearance. Shout out to my friend Matthew, who I grew up with in the Rockford area. And this is, we're now getting into the personal waters territory. But essentially what happened was Matthew, Matthew and I've always been big music fans. I'd like to share music recommendations and interests with one another. So when I was a kid, I was aware or like enjoyed the song, Hold the Line by Toto. A lot of like 10 year olds is kind of their favorite song as it was. for me. And I don't, you know, whatever it was, I don't think Matthew knew the song or, you know, he wanted a YouTube link. YouTube was very new back then. So I sent him a link that I hadn't vetted or anything. It was just, you know, you do a quick little search, total, hold the line. First

video comes up, copy and paste a link, send it to him, boom, over email. Back then his family just all shared one email. Feedler, yes, at hotmail.com, or whatever it was. So what I learned later is that Matthew opened up the link on his dial-up internet, you know, because they only have the family computer. That's the only way to get online. So the whole family was gathered around. It was like, ooh, what exotic thing did Quinn sent it? Everyone's watching. Like seven, eight people in the family. And apparently, and this is one of those things where you look back on it now when you're 30, you're like, what's the deal? But we grew up in such a sheltered community with such conservative reviews. This Toto Hold the Line video that I had sent was one of those like lyrics videos and the

lyrics were placed over like a slideshow. And the slideshow, you know, the PowerPoint, whatever, it was like just, it was like couples kissing, holding hands, you know, like the first, the first five seconds of a Cialis commercial or something like that. Nothing graphic, no boobs, no boobs on the plane. But back in, you know, classic Bush era stuff, very conservative. just my upbringing. This was such a, this caused such a ruckus, such a stir when Matthew told me how embarrassing it was to open that up in front of his entire family. I felt the secondhand embarrassment because I provided a link. I didn't know I was going to open up so many of Matthews family members sexually with this PowerPoint I had inadvertently shared. So that was an embarrassing

moment. So watch out when you're sharing Toto clips on YouTube because you might open up an entire new world of sexual exploration, a.k.a. holding hands and kissing at sunset. I got two more here, another classic one, my brother and I. But this is, you know, this happened to me personally, but I feel like this one is certainly more universally experienced, I would assume, than Toto clips on YouTube, messing up, destroying, blowing up, however you want to define it, the Waffle Maker at the Continental Breakfast at the hotel.

This happened to me when my brother Walt and I were traveling through Boise one time, about a decade ago or so. And I used the Waffle Maker because we got the free breakfast with our hotel stay, and I neglected to spray it down with the P-A-M. And I tell you what, I've had some crusty waffle maker

in the past, this thing was completely coated. I mean, this thing was going to need to be serviced, detailed, refurbished, turtle wax, all of it. And I just felt so bad because not only, like, was my waffle messed up, but the, like, made the person

who was, like, managing the breakfast was, like, right there when it happened. This, like, 50-year-old Latina, small, tiny little lady, and she just looked so defeated, and I felt so bad. It's like, there's nothing you can do, right? I can't be like, hey, I'm going to take care of this.

I'm going to take it back to the kitchen and the sink, and I'm going to, like, I'm going to fix this, right? You can't do that. You just got to let it go. But that's a pretty embarrassing, I mean, out of all this entire list, and she was like the most embarrassment I felt, maybe not the most embarrassment, but the most shame. So it's like, yep, I was completely responsible for this.

And it's just, I can't, it's not like, I'm not the person who's going to be asked to fix this. At least when I saw the boobs and wedding crashers, I could turn off my monitor and be like, you know, or fast forward, I think is what I did. Like, I can fix this. When you mess up the waffle maker or you send Matthew Fiedler, a man and a woman holding hands at sunset, I can't take that cat out of the bank. He's out. Pandora's box has been opened. Last thing here, this is, again, like a universally experienced thing, I'm sure, for many folks out there.

and I'm ashamed to admit it's happened to me once or twice in a year and a half of dog ownership. But speaking of number one and number two, when your dog's got to go, number two, and you reach down for the poop bags, you realize they're gone. And it's just, it's one of those things, right? You do the best you can, but if you're far enough away from home, if you're like right outside the apartment or if it's, you know, public lawn or something, or, you know, public park and you're close to home, like, yeah, go through the effort to go back and get the bag and do it. But when you're just like all the steps up to the apartment, all the steps back down, your blocks and blocks from home, I just, does this make me a bad person to say this?

Yes. But I'm not walking my dog back 10 minutes back to the apartment, then walking 10 minutes back to the crime with a fresh bag, then bagging it up, then walking back to the apartment. I just, I can't bring myself to do it. And so there's probably video footage out there of me covering up dog poop and snow. But it happens. And I didn't intend for it to happen, but sometimes it happens. So the only thing I will say off with that and we'll finish up with our trivia question is the next time you see poop, dog poop in a public place and you get outraged, you're invited to remain outraged. But at least remember the poor sap out there who the one in a million chance

ran out of poop bags at the worst possible moment because sometimes your dog likes to go two or three times. That's my PSA of the day. I bought a Mazda today, so we're going to finish up with a handful of car brands. I give you the brand. You tell me the country they're from. It's very simple. We'll jump right into it, starting with Mazda.

and if you're curious what answer I wrote down on my phone after autocorrected, it came down to Joan. J-O-A-N is the answer that's not a country, but if you are between maybe Japan and North Korea or South Korea, Joan might give it away the answer to Mazda, what country is Mazda from? It is Japan. All right, coming up here next, we've got five more there, six total. Alpha Romero. A-L-F-A-R-O-M-E-R-O. Alpha Romero.

What country is Alpha Romero from? Reminds me of alfalfa. Wasn't he the character and the Little Rascals with the, like, the hair sticking up in the back? And then you got Buckwheat. Since there, Buckwheat sings Eddie Murphy, S-N-L sketch from the 80s? Good stuff. yeah alfalfa he had like the freckles right what was the name of that whole troupe it was like our gang or something like that

you got spanky he's kind of a leader dude i love the little rascals they're always getting into something the good ship lollipop was that their theme song or was that like a shirley temple thing maybe both not sure alpha romero is from italy Here, I got a softball for you. This could be good for the East St. Louis baguettes, a softball for their yeast infection promotional night. Great Wall Motors, which sounds, you think of like the seedy Chinese restaurant in your tiny little Midwest town. Like, I went to this Chinese restaurant in Evansville, Indiana one time on the border of the Ohio River with Kentucky.

And it was okay, but man, I was like the only one in there. things you do when you recruit but it was probably called like great wall or something i feel like every town's got a great wall chinese restaurant well this is great wall motors and i'll tell you that it is a chinese was there actually someone who's like born and raised in china who's like you know what i'll call my car company great because it's not like this tiny little it's not like a roadside dealership or something with cd practices this is like you know like a bewick or like an Audi or a, you know, whatever the one where the kid who was like, Zoom, Zoom, you guys remember that one?

What brand was that for? That kid was all the rage back in like 2002, 2003. You guys remember this ad campaign? What car brand was that? That should have been our trivia question. I have no idea. I don't think it was a Mazda. I don't know.

We'll see if the research department's over relaxing in bed. I don't know if they recall what it was. The kids just over there whispering in between stock footage of cars going up curvy roadways, he's just going zoom, zoom. He's kind of giving me like a Haley Jolossman 6th Sense kind of thing. Great Wall Motors is an actual car company from China. China. Next up, I had to throw this in there because it was my favorite car to drive.

In fact, I think there were two different models in this game, but in need for speed too. I'd love to drive the Lotus, L-O-T-U-S. I think the second one, my favorite car in that Need for Speed 2 video game from like 1997 or something. It was like the second best car. I think the McLaren was like the best car. Not Terry McLaren, the McLaren, I say, M-C-L-A-R-E-N.

But the Lotus, that man, we had a lot of fun with that need for Speed 2 video game. My uncle introduced us to the cheat codes. You'd like type in a certain combination that you can race as like a school bus, a Tyrannosaurus Rex, an outhouse, other crazy things. I should do a YouTube deep dive on that later. I'm sure I'll find some crazy stuff I'd forgotten about. But the Lotus, if you're curious, is British. So it's from the UK, the car, the Lotus. Two more. This one, this one was fun because It was like, it's a newer brand. It's, you know, from the last 20 years, but you're starting to see some ads for it,

and I had no idea. I learned something when I stumbled upon this, like where it was from? Genesis. Dun-da-da-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-pah-pum-pum-pum-pum-pum-bap-pum-bap-pum-bap-pum-bbap-pam-bbbbbbbbbbam-bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbmm. That's all. That clue should have been brought to you series, but I sang Phil Collins instead. Genesis, the car, if you want a little extra time, because this one's a little bit tricky. Go ahead and pause, because I'm ready to close out here.

It's like me at the bar after 7.30 p.m. I say, I'm done. That's all, folks, as Phil Collins and Porky Pig would say. Genesis, if you can believe it or not, is from South Korea. If you said South Korea with a South African accent, it'd be South Korea. it's like australian but different and then finally uh to finish up just because i always see these signs by the highway and it's so hard to read and it's stupid little italics cursive bullshit peterbilt p e t-e-r-b-l-t they got the big oval red signs and peterbilt was in white if you're like me you spent the first like 15 years of your life driving past those signs being like

i can't read that what the heck does that say well the signs are in america for a reason because peterbilt it's like a trucking company by the way it's different from these other ones it's good old-fashioned american so again we had masda japan alfa romeo italy great wall motors uk jesus south korea and peterbilt u.sa that's what i have for you guys we're going to come at you next week with another brand new episode as we get closer to wrapping up Season 8 of Quinn David Furness presents the Beantown podcast. For all of us here at the Beantown podcast, I hope you are staying safe.

I hope you are staying sane. I hope you're staying sane. If you need a ride, just call me. And I'll come get you in my new car. Take care. Check in on you next week. Bye. I must have

I'm not I'm going to I'm a lot of I'm I'm I'm I'm

I'm I'm I'm I'm Thank you.