Beantown Podcast - Halloween Spooktacular Season 8 (10312025 Beantown Podcast)

Episode Date: October 31, 2025

Quinn comes to you LIVE to power rank Candy Land characters, ponder Biblical Sauls, and completely torch licorice

Hey, what's going on? It's Quinn David Furness. Welcome to my show. Quinn David Furness presents the Beantown podcast for Friday, October 31st, Halloween, 2025. What's happening? What's going on? How are you? Welcome to the Beantown podcast season eight Halloween spooktacular. There's no place I would rather be than sitting here on the couch with Maple, staring intently at mom in the other room, eating a bag of chips, just talking to the nation. What's happening? How are you? My name is Quinn. I am the creator, host, and chief spookmeister of this program.

Quinn David Furniss presents the Beaton podcast now, and it's eighth, eight, I was going to say 800th season. That's not right. That'd be pretty cool. Eighth season. We could do like the shows these days, the mini-series where they only do like six episodes in a season. that we could probably get up to 800 if we did that but no I'm purest 52 slash 53 episodes a

year that's how it's going to be until I drop dead or they kick me out and be like a little succession thing Beantown Network Jeremy Strong and Sarah Snook and Home Alone Jr. will partner up and try to force me out but it's going to be Mr. Darcy in the end who actually takes over. Spoiler alert. You missed Succession. When did that show end? Was that like three years ago? Four years ago, Succession ended? Probably like three years ago, right? Good show. Solid show. Rachel's actually watching, or just finished watching the second season. What is it called?

Mad About You? What was the name of your Kristen Bell show you just watched? Nobody wants this, and they had a bunch of side characters, actors and actresses, succession in it. It took me a while when I saw what she had on a couple nights ago. I was like, where do I know this person from? I was like, boom, where do I know this person from? I think there were two, maybe three characters, not main characters from Succession, like side peeps who were, uh, whose actors and actresses starred in that show. It was, uh, Ferris Bueller's day off, his, his girlfriend, that lady, and then Stewie. I don't really remember what his role was in succession he was like head of one of the venture capital firms that was like brought into it by

kendall maybe i don't remember how it all shook out by the end of that show there were only four four seasons but there were a lot of um moving pieces and side characters and trying to remember who's who and then you had uh what's his name the swedish guy comes in towards the end scars guard and don't forget the episode with uh... and Brody? Was that who it was? Yeah, there was, especially as the show went on and on, there were a lot more side characters and just hard to keep track of who all was in the show, everyone in their mom. But no one will ever be as good as Jerry, right? G-E-R-I, whatever that actress's name is. She was spectacular. Definitely my favorite character.

No-nonsense, boss lady. Listen to discretion and advice when you're listening to the Beantown Podcast, number one will occasion you some language number two, this podcast is objectively terrible. I, of course, want to give a spooky shout out to our good friends in Pakistan, Lahore, Karachi, Khyber Pass, Hyderabad, Islamabad, Pan, wherever you are listening from. Thank you for making us the 112th ranked comedy podcasts in the Islamic Republic of Pakistan, where presumably they don't have Halloween, and if they do have it, it's already over. So miss the boat. It's 4 p.m. here on Friday. I want to also give a quick shout out to the bots, BOTS, for promoting my show.

I logged in, I think this was last week when I uploaded last week's episode and saw that I had over 1,000 plays of the previous week's episode, which it wasn't any sort of Halloween or Christmas or telethon or horse name special or anything. It was just a random probably C-minus, two and a half stars out of five times. episode and got over a thousand plays. So shout out to the bots who I assume were integral in that decision and that support. We got a couple of things we're going to bring to you today. One kind of came together late. It's a little mini power ranking. We're not going to devote our entire show to it. But as I was creating my hot take of the week, it spurred something else

related to, you know, it's Halloween, it's candy. You're going to take the dog out, trick or treating, see if she can't pick up any bones or kibbles, or I guess kibble is more of a singular word, but see if she can maybe get some neighborhood pets on the head, pats on the head. It's fun that you can both pat a dog on the head and pet a dog on the head. You got two different verbs, so close together, meaning the same thing. That's really fun, isn't it, maple? We got maple over here.

In fact, that would be a good, this would be a good time to do Maples minute before she jumps off the couch. Maple, she wanted to address this. So last week was the North Center dog or pet, pet keyword, pet costume contest. Last week, Maple won first prize. It was, you know, in the small, fine print, it was sort of a everyone's a winner kind of participation trophy kind of thing. But she got a pigs year or a cow year. I can't remember which. you know she was essentially defending champion coming into this year and i got to say the

competition was stiff it was steep and i'm wondering if it wasn't uh preordained or rigged because maple had poise she had grace she was elegant she followed instructions very well and who does she lose to but a stupid rabbit who can't even do tricks surely doesn't know you know how to sit down they just paint a little s on him, call him Superman or super bunny or whatever you want. And yeah, if you couldn't tell, Maple is pretty chapped about it. She's over here, just, she's like, Dad, why are you making me relive this nightmare? I stay up late at night wondering why, oh, why, where did I go wrong? I don't know, buddy, we got to go back to the drawing board.

We got 51 weeks, 51 and a half weeks to figure things out for next year. So you start brainstorming, but that's Maple's mini. of the week brought to new by our good friends at Home Pride, Oregon. Home Pride, Oregon. If you are a first-time home buyer or a move on up, just move on up. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do. I love that scene from The Wire, what is it, is it season four, I think, where Dennis Cuddy Wise, you know, he's gone out of prison and he opens up his gym, and it's, it's, the episode is, surrounds the election, the mayoral election, Baltimore City, between the Irish kid, what's his name, Aiden, Elenrich, something like that. It's not the guy who played Hans Solo.

It's the, what's the name of the guy in Game of Thrones played by the Irish guy who was the mayor in the wire? See, like, Tom Thumb or something, his character's name. Middle Finger is his name. Oh, Little Finger. I've never seen anything except the last episode. I don't think he was in the last episode of Game of Thrones. He had probably been written off at that point. Dyes, apparently.

Spoilers, but we don't remember his name. He's also the FBI guy at the start of The Dark Night Rises. Aiden's something. He's an Irish guy. But it's the election between Littlefinger and I didn't realize his fingers were so little. And Mayor Royce, the incumbent, you know, the guy who's getting a blowjob from his secretary in Herc. upon him. Anyways, Cuddy is a great, like, montage. Cuddy's running through the streets doing his morning jog on the east side of Baltimore. I can't remember if he's east side or west side. It doesn't

really matter. And they're playing that song. Just move on up. Do do, do, do, do. Who is that one? Is that the Chicago guy who died young? What was his name? Anyways, what I wanted to say, I'll figure it out. And I, in the meantime, I wanted to say, thank you to our sponsors at HomePriot, Oregon. Whether you're moving on up, first-time home buyer, whatever it is, call Steve at 541-410-0-316 or email. Yeah, Curtis Mayfield. That's who I thought it was. I don't know if he's, excuse me, actually from Chicago, if I'm making that up. But Detroit, Chicago, feels like it has to be one of those two, right? Homeprightorgan.com. Homeprideorgan.com, Homeprideorgan inspection, perfection. I should mention, we are, I'm pretty excited,

because it's been a minute since I had one of these guys. I'm drinking a half-acre Bodom. It's their like flagship IPA. We got the 16-ounce can going here. God, they have them at Trader Joe's. It's only 1099 for the four-pack, which is like, I wouldn't call that as steel, but I would say that's solid price.

I got to give, you know, tip of the cap to half acre. I've only been up there once, but some of their local distribution prices, however you want to phrase that, solid when we go out here to a brownstone tavern here on lincoln it's a good good outdoor patio to take the dog to i think you can get there i think you can get a pint for like six bucks or something which six 650 something like that when you're talking about this economy tariffs on aluminum not to mention tariffs on on hops and barley and now if you were a you know undocumented citizen who is picking that stuff for the big beer companies out there.

Now, your ass is back to wherever, you know, the government wants to send you to. So shout out to half acre for keeping those prices steady because it's a delicious beer. It's a really quality IPA, in my opinion, in my uncultured opinion. And the artwork is cool, too. It's got a volcano on it with like a wreath around it. It's pretty fun. There's an owl over here. That's like the half acre mascot, I guess.

very nice i also want to say thank you to and they were going to get into uh things that spook me i want to briefly thank uh the samson q2 u series just for bringing consistent clear audio quality uh you can always rely on a samson in fact i was i wrote a uh speaking of Halloween spookulators. I write a fantasy football. Halloween spookacular every year for my home league. It's one of my signature notes along with, you know, the draft recap, the playoff preview. The notes have dwindled over the years. There's not as much smack talk as we all kind of are in our 20s, 30s, all the way up to our 60s. But, you know, you got to keep the signature flagship events going. And that was today. And I got into, speaking to the Samsung Q2U series,

I got into a little bit of a tangent on names for God in the Old Testament. We could do an entire power ranking of that. But, you know, I was going because my cousin in this league, his name reference is Jehovah. And, you know, that got me thinking, like, in the Old Testament, you got, like, Jehovah. You got Yahweh. You got... Oh, there's like four others that I listed in this note, and now I can't remember, which is awfully embarrassing.

Just trying to prove my point, and can't even do it. Yahweh was one I mentioned, because that's when I started saying, Yama will be there. Oh, and over, Yama'll be there. Let's see, where was it? Jehovah flooring. Oh, I guess I was listing other things, like what's the difference between Jewish, Israeli, Hebrew,

Gentile. I know what Gentile is. Kind of. But anyways, yeah, God's got some, he's got some different names. And then what was the deal with, like, J, first he was Jacob, then he became Israel, or like Saul became Paul? That's very reminiscent. And I know one of these came out like 2,000 years before the other, but it plays very well into the office joke where, you know, the coup, is that what the episode's called, where Dwight goes to meet with Jan. by the Ann Taylor outlet and tells Michael, Steve Carell, that he was going to the dentist, and the desk's name was Crentist.

And Michael's like, your dentist's name is Crenthus sounds an awful lot like dentist. Dwight says, maybe that's why he became a dentist. That's kind of the Saul becoming Paul situation. So Saul becomes Paul. Why was he Saul in the first place? Because we already had a Saul. back in

Mesopotamia the first king of Israel right that was Saul and then what was the deal because it's like sometimes Saul is you know like painted as kind of like he's the first king of Israel right that's a big deal that's God's chosen people

but then it's like God decided that he wanted or Yahweh or Jehovah decided he wanted David to be kind of the chosen one and then he in you know they totally scapegoat Saul because it's like God comes to a vision or something or his his kid Jonathan is hooking up with David I don't remember how it goes exactly but and they're like you're

you know you're supposed to give up your throne so that David the the chosen one can become king and Saul's like WTF I'm the first king of Israel like I should be able to stick around doing this for as long as I want and that's why he tries to you know he tries to off david he tries to go queen of hearts off with his head i don't blame him i think we are putting way too much blame on uh on on on this saul character it'd be like george washington after a year god speaks to him and says you know what we're going to go with john adams now and george is like w t f i did all the legwork how did we get here how did we get here how do we get out now. Why did we need two souls? Maybe, maybe God was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, you're a Saul too,

talking, you know, the guy who became Paul on the road to Damascus. And that's why he blinded his light or blinded his eyes. And he was blind for three days. And then he used, I think, a facial mud scrub and opened his eyes. And he could see again, open the eyes my heart load. open the eyes of my heart. I want to see you. That's Vince Gill leading worship at my evangelical church growing up. I wish Vince Gill would have come saying at a church. It would have been bad ass. I got to tell you this is total, total like nostalgia bias, whatever the opposite of recency bias is. But I still, from time to time, just out of pure curiosity, tune into the live stream of the church I went to growing up. because, you know, ever since COVID, they stream it, which is cool.

But I feel that the music from 25 years ago when I was attending was way more high quality than the stuff they got going now. I think back in the day it was much more like Ron Canoli influenced. We got, you know, it was hardcore. And what I'm hearing and seeing now is just, you know, it's kind of disorganized. It's lacking energy. Excuse me. It needs a little, umph.

They need to go back to the Ron Kenoli 90s playbook. Maybe someone sent him a Kirk Franklin tape and that'll get the vibes going. Maybe a little too black for Rock Church on Harrison Avenue. Where were we going? Oh, the Samson Q2 series and God speaks, he uses the Samson. That was one of our better ad reads we've ever had. And of course, a good friends at Cuttsby IQ, extremely relevant today, gave myself a nice little pre-honeymoon trim on the back porch, which would be this makes a good time to just briefly mention what that's going to look like, which I have not confronted or thought of until this exact moment. We're leaving on a Friday.

Two weeks from today, we'll be flying to Portugal. I think, especially now that I've been teaching on Thursdays, I think I have the capability of the bandwidth. to get an episode recorded in before that. And then we come back the day before Thanksgiving, so Wednesday, and so I still got, you know, three days after Thanksgiving to recover from the jet lag, record a show, won't be working anything like that, just turkey bowls and turkey trots and eating, you know, turkey and all,

turkey everything. So I think we can get one in on the back and no problem. So we're probably aiming to have one week in, we'll see where we get it in, probably in Madeira or the Canary Islands will be a Beantown podcast. A first ever Bean Town podcast live from across the pond. We've definitely, you know, we've checked off some solid boxes as far as exotic and erotic locations go. You know, all the way from Hawaii to, I think, like, Puerto Rico, Jamaica, probably, Alaska. we've done some good ones. We've had a lot of fun. But nothing quite as out there as a small

island surrounded by water in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean off the coast of Africa. That should be pretty fun. I'm looking forward to that personally. So that's coming up in a couple of weeks here. And maybe we'll do too. Maybe we'll find time to pre-record. I'm doing a digital detox largely. Now, that's not like I'm shutting my phone off and just never touching again. I'm going to use it for the things they need to, like, when we're back at the hotel or the Airbnb and we got Wi-Fi, like check in, do what you need to do, check in on work emails, that sort of stuff. And obviously, it's helpful to have for, like, traveling and calling cabs and et cetera. But I am planning to go largely off the grid.

I don't think I'm going to buy a phone plan. I'm putting that sucker on airplane mode, and I'll use it for Wi-Fi, and that's great. Otherwise, I just want to, like, not care about the outside world, just me and my lover and got some books here. What do we got? I got, well, I'm working on The Running Man by Stephen King right now. Let's see, there's that one. I need to order, like, one more to be fully set.

I got American Psycho over here, and I got the Lost City of Zed, which you may or may not be familiar with. It's a book by the same, like a non-fiction book by the same guy who did Colors of the Flower Moon. But I actually watched the film Lost City of Zed, which was with Charlie Hunnam and Robert Petitinson and Spider-Man, Tom Holland, the third best Spider-Man.

I watched that movie with a friend when I was in grad school, so back in 2016. something like that probably and never realized it was based on a book but i got the book now and i don't remember much about the movie the explorer's name i believe is percy faucet f-a-w-c-e-t-t-t-t so i got i got some reading material here i should get one more to really feel set because when you're when you're stepping away from your phone and to a lesser extent tune blast i got to keep my street going but you want to have good reading material. Ideally, I can just, like, get a glass of wine or a coffee

and stick my feet in the ocean and just read my book. That sounds pretty nice. I don't know about you guys. That's the plan for the honeymoon. Let's get into, oh, our hot take, you know what, let's save our hot take to lead into the power ranking I want to do. Actually, we'll give you a little tease. Here's my hot take, and this isn't anything new for anyone who knows me, but licorice is like the worst candy of all time. And I'm not singling out like a Twizzler or any other licorish brands. And I also, I know there is a raging debate over like, oh, yeah, red licorice, that's solid. But black licorice, that's disgusting.

And then there's a purist for like, oh, black licorice is the best because no one else wants it. So I'll have it. My take on this situation is licorish is just trash. It is just like weird, rubbery, obviously licorice in end of its. itself is like, you know, the, however you say it, Anis, Anis, A-N-I-S-E, I think it's Ines, but I don't know for sure. That particular spice or flavoring, which I'm not a fan of. And then you throw that in with just like this rubbery rope. I got to tell you, I'm a big fan of my dad, just kind of in general across the board. But he and I have very differing takes on how good licorice is. And when we

would go on family road trips as a kid it was always like pop into the gas station get maybe like two candies and if i was lucky one of them would be one i would like because the other one would be licorish and hopefully qj likes three musketeers because when i pop in or slim jims or not slim jim's beef jerky jack lynx when i pop into the gas station i know what i'm getting and it's not going to be licorish. So maybe Quinn Jr. will be like his old, old man, his grandpapa, he'll be really into licorice. But I just think, uh, all nuance aside, I think it is just trash. I think it, it sucks. Like, what the hell are we doing here? This candy is terrible. That's my hot take of the week. Email is beantown podcast at yahoo.com. Again, it's beantown podcast at yahoo.com. Let us know

where you stand you know make like a little punnet square from right geology class not geology genetics class are you like pro black and red licorice pro red anti black i think that's probably the most common on right are you like me you're anti both or is there anyone out there who's like oh black liquorish is great but red liquorish sucks i don't think you've ever met someone who's like that it's like you like liquorish but you're a weirdo and black liquorish is exceptionally good for you I don't think there's anyone that I've ever come across who's like, yeah, black liquor, sneaky good, but red, not good. Let's move past it. If you're curious, we are going to briefly at the end of this episode, Power Rank, something related to candy. And it's not going to be

candy at all that we're power ranking, but it's going to be from a more fanciful time, a place, a land, if you will. But first up, things. that spook me. I want to take Maple out trick or shooting before the light gets too dark. We're at 421 here. Daylight savings time this weekend, by the way, so don't forget to set your clocks back. But the reason I mentioned is we're going to move quickly through this so that we can try to wrap this up in the next 10, 15 minutes or so. First up, just the concept of loans. there's something, I think it's like growing up relatively working class, let's say. I've never had a loan in my life, which is a very privileged thing to be able to say.

And simultaneously at the same time, as I'm getting into this phase of life now where it's like looking at buying a car and a home, there's going to be some things like a mortgage that are unavoidable. no one out here in this walk of life is buying a home just with straight up cash i'm not a wealthy benefactor of some sort of inheritance or something so that's going to happen but just the thought of like and it's an irrational fear because i feel like i understand all of it and it's like yeah taking out a loan that's just like a for like a car for example that's like a normal thing that people do but i'm just when i'm looking at these prices i'm always of uh buying a you know used car and looking at like $25,000 on average, something like that. And I'm like, can I really afford this hit?

And I have to try to convince myself, if I want to pay for it in cash, which I would love to do, great. That's awesome. But like, it doesn't have to be that way. Especially when this is me trying to hype myself up. Like, if you're working in education your whole career, it's not normal to just be able to, like, fork over an entire chunk of change to pay for a car in cash. Right?

That's not the norm, okay? it's okay to be the norm sometimes but loans just it's a it's a it's a extension of the same thing a former boss of mine used to feel and she and then she's she's gotten past this now but she used to never have credit cards because she was worried like oh what if i can't pay it off and i've never had an issue with that because i'm just like well it's really just an extension of your checking account with just like a time delay and loans is the loans are the same thing it's just a grander scale right It's not a $500 credit card bill. It's like a $20,000 car loan potentially, less than that for me.

But mortgage, like a $300,000 mortgage, right? So higher stakes, let's just put it that way. I know it's an irrational fear. I know like loans are normal, but it's just something that I'm not quite accustomed to, acclimatized to, excuse me, what do we think? Two C's, A-C-C-L-I-M-A-T-I-Z-E-D, eight-syllable word. Pretty cool. Next up, trying to remember the conversions between, I mean anything, take your pick, but like teaspoons to tablespoons, is it three and one?

Is that what we're doing? O ounces to a cup, is it eight to one? O ounces to a pound, 16 to one, I think. And then you got the dreaded Fahrenheit to Celsius. What is it? Like F. 5 ninths minus 32. Some, that doesn't make sense. Five ninths and then in parentheses F minus 32. So if you want to get Celsius of, I don't know, 80 degrees Fahrenheit, you do 5.9th of 80 degrees, which is like a little more than half.

Let's say 45 minus 32. So it's like 13. Did that, was that math right? 13 Celsius is like 80 degrees. see that seems too low, right? I botched it. That's why I'm afraid. It's largely when I'm cooking or I'm in the grocery store and I need to like make a quick conversion. I'm just never quite confident enough to just be like, you know what? I know this one. I'm only going to buy the one bag of yokey because I know the 16 ounces of a pound. It feels like the steak, kind of like

the loans, right? The stakes are so high. If I mess up this conversion, I'd come back home, we're going to cook. And I only got half the yokey I was supposed to for our soup. Then we are screwed because that's what we're eating and i think it's really that the temperature thing i mean we're going to to europe in two weeks here and if i say the temperature in fair night they will laugh at me they'll say obrigato and two eras un mucco loco that's not a word moly loco you are a very crazy that's what it would translate to I think we're lucky the places we are going. I was just looking at a bar menu in Madeira, a Portuguese island, by where we're staying.

And the menu was printed in Portuguese, French, and English. So I feel pretty lucky. This might even be a good chance to try my French. What if we just pretend we're French tourists the whole time? I have to practice a stereotypical French accent. I feel like I can do a stereotypical, well, I'm not good at accents at all, but like I could commit to like an Australian accent or trip, but I don't think I could commit to a French accent. I just never really had to do it. Maple's getting a live belly wrap. Live on air, that is pretty nice. You are lucky, buddy. She's like, Dad, when can I go trick-or-treating? Ten minutes. Give me ten minutes. Other things that spook me, dream. Speaking of conversions, dreams about physics class, I would say,

That's not uncommon, right? People have nightmares all the time, but my most common one that I revisit in my dreams is physics because I felt like for most of the physics things we studied, I could get like the first third of it when it's kind of easy and then it gets a little bit more complicated, and I would just get lost and everyone else would just zoom past me. And same thing went for the AP test. There were story problems that covered topics we had never gotten to in. class and I just looked at it and I was like I can set up the first part of this and there's like

four more parts and there's like got nothing I legitimately spent half of the like story problem section of our AP physics test just drawing images on my calculator because had no idea hadn't seen it before I didn't know what it was talking electromagnetism we never got to it that's what happens when your Bible teacher teaches your physics class maple what the heck are you doing she's being a wiggle worm she just kicked me your booty's on the Samsung Q2U series microphone cord. That is not good, buddy. I'm not going to get political here.

I just wanted to say, and it's just one mention, but first Christi Nome, but then also Simon Cowell, their faces. These people have had so much work done. It's not even like, oh, yeah, that was a bad, like, facelift or bad face job or something. Like, it legitimately spooks me when I look at them. Like, something looks dead behind those eyes. it is not natural, which goes without saying. But Chrissy Nome and Simon Cowell, you spook me.

Similarly, not a hot take in any capacity, but the animation from Robert Zemeckis's Polar Express. Just kind of a trippy movie all around. Sometimes it's a musical. Sometimes it's not. Tom Hanks plays like 10 different characters. Just a weird, weird kind of thing, right? I don't think I know very many people,

if any, who are like, oh yeah, Polar Express, that's an instant classic. But we know it. We reference it. We talk about it. It's just, I mean, we can get to this in a month and a half here when we talk Christmas, but you could give me probably 50 Christmas movies before I'm like, oh yeah, you know what, throw Polar Express on. Even like the shitty claimation ones, or not claimation, but like animation ones from like the 70s and 80s that were after my parents' generation. And so thus they were deemed to just be terrible and then before my generation and they would come on from uh tv from time to time and it would just be like oh this wasn't like charlie brown or the original frosty so it must be

bad and there's like a whole 20 year section of those types of holiday uh tv movies that i've never seen like frosty four frosty melts you know something like that i guess he melts in the first one um where are we going with that oh but like i will watch those ones that have never even watched before over polar express just because it's kind of spooky and the blonde-haired ADHD kid is really irritating. A couple other things. This is especially a concern with this week with Daylight Savings Time, potentially messing up the space-time continuum.

We live close to an iconic Catholic church here in Chicago, St. Benedict's, and I'm close enough to where I hear the bells. And they told the bells at the top of the hour, you know, and then they do, you know, 10 rings for 10 o'clock. two rings or two o'clock, that sort of thing. But this has been a problem. The bell tower is not quite right. It's like a millisecond off. And so when we moved in here a year and a half ago, it was pretty much right on time. And obviously we are not new. There's not a new church. Like this is not a new issue. Like they've probably had to deal with this before and they just

pick a time when they need to like reset it. But we're now up to a solid three minutes, It's creeping closer to four minutes after the top of the hour when the bells go off. And it's like at what point does it get so far away from the top of the hour to where you have to reset it? So it kind of spooks me because when it's winter and there's not as much like tree foliage to doffle the noise is what I was going to say, stifle the noise. You can hear it and I always look down to my clock and right now it's been on the 03s for like a couple months, but it's going to move to the 04. It's pretty quick here. Ladders, they spook me. Not adders. Adder's like a snake, right? Not that spooked out, spooked by snakes, but ladders. Never been a fan. Never been a heights person in general. But just the thought of a ladder. You know what I hate

more than anything? It's not so much the going up the ladder. Like that I feel like is tolerable. I can handle it. My least favorite thing, maybe on this entire list, is when you, you know, you're trying to get off a roof or wherever and you have to climb down a ladder, it's that in between step where you're first going from like the roof, whatever you're on, onto that first step of the ladder, you're in that awkward like getting on your hands and knees going backwards. And then the issue is like you stick your leg down and your foot to try to catch the top rung or whatever. And it's like your leg bends the wrong way for that, right? Because you can only get your leg to be like parallel.

Your thing, your leg fully extended is parallel to the ladder going up and down. And so you have to kind of like shimmy your foot in there. It'd be great if your leg bent the other way because then you could, you know, more easily maneuver it in there. But a lot of physics talk here. But it's that first step where you got to like try to get it right. And then you're like, once you get into the groove going down, you're okay. But that first step coming off the roof is.

gnarly mentally it is just makes me my stomach my stomach turn uh two more here this uh speaking of oh this is not ladders but like related steps stairs taking the garbage out in this apartment specifically the last couple months there's been a loose step on the second flight of stairs and i have put in a maintenance request there's been no action it's the sort of thing we're like the the nails on the back so not like the lip as you're going down but like closer to the back of the stair on just one one step those back nails are like completely undone completely loose so if you happen as you're going down if you step on like the edge of the stair of the step as you're going down the back will like

flip up and you'll tumble forward which is like a major issue when you're like carrying down, like I would say, a happy box of garbage and recycling. And we're aware of it at this point, so we know to take caution. But I got to tell you, this is a lawsuit waiting to happen. And I'm not going to go on record and say I'm going to intentionally break my ankle to make a quick buck. Not that desperate yet. But I feel like this is the sort of thing. And I'm not a landlord.

I'm not going to pretend to know what goes on here. and I don't feel like we live with like a or rent from like a slumlord or anything like that. It's not that type of situation. But if you're a landlord and you receive this maintenance request and it's like, oh yeah, high stairs, the stairs loose, like that could be a problem when someone's going down the stairs and they like take a bad step and like break their wrist, right? Like that seems like a just clear, obvious situation like we should do something about this. So when we have a maintenance ticket that's been out there for two months,

for something that presumably takes a trip to Home Depot in five minutes to, like, nail in a new board. If I were a landlord, even if I wasn't a great one, that would be the type of thing I would want to fix quickly to close the door on potential lawsuits. Because I legitimately feel like having put in the maintenance request, so it's documented by everyone two months ago, if I'm taking the trash out later tonight, and that that, uh, that step goes, and I crash down to the floor and break my wrist. I mean, that's a lawsuit, right? I'm not a lawyer. I can get our legal team on this, but that seems, I would say, an open and shut case, but I feel like I'm in good shape, minus the broken wrist.

Now, imagine if it was a hip or a ubula. Last thing, popcorn kernels, when they get stuck in your teeth, when you are away from home. It's one thing to have a big bag of popcorn, and you're chilling on the couch, watching a popcorn classic. You can go brush your teeth and go get floss, you do what you need to do. But if you are like at the movie theater, it's not great, but especially if you're at like a social gathering or something and you take a, you know, you go head first into a popcorn ball, which you don't see as much of these days, but still delicious. You got to sit there for like two, three, four hours knowing something stuck back there in the molars.

That is a not, not a fun experience. So that's something that spooks me. We alluded, this is going to be our power ranking, then our trivia question, then we're done. We alluded to a Candyland-related power ranking. And so what we are going to do, there are nine characters on the board in the original Candyland board game from Parker Brothers, Hasbro, Milton Bradley. Almost assuredly, one of those three game companies came up with the original Candyland board game which we had as kids and i think we were missing some cards but i will give a quick

and then we'll jump into our power ranking excuse me but i i will give a very brief shout out to my sister who was just king of stacking the deck in candy land and i i mean i think this happened like once or twice in actuality but it's you know the the the lore has lived on but uh you'll play a game and if you don't know Candyland you just like draw a card and it's just got you know a color on it so you just like jump your character to that color on the board and it's just all luck no strategy no skill but it's fun good visuals my sister would stack the deck so that she would draw queen frostyne on her first one which is a that means you like get to go to that place on the board and then a double purple which means you go you skip one purple and land on the next one and that's like

the end of the game and she would win in two turns she would stack the deck she was very savvy at that shout out to my sister abigail for that here's the power ranking of candy land characters if you have never played candy land or if you did and it's been like 30 years you might want to go see what these characters look like because i did power rank them on look and attitude And I did, I do have the official imagery from fandom.com over here so I can describe them to you. Coming in at number nine is Lord Liquorish. Lord Liquorish is kind of spooky. And because he's a Lord Liquorish, he's a male, he's a man, and he has a mustache, I always thought he kind of looked like, kind of like an in-between. So he's kind of got like these long boots going on.

his waist looks what I would associate to be more feminine than male he's got like a cape made of licorice he's kind of got this pirate hat he's got a cane he's got a hell of a schnaz but I don't know he just uh he's not doing anything for me kind of looks just pretty lame to be honest that's lord licorice number nine number eight did I I this is great I wrote down

Oh no there it is I thought I wrote down something And it got auto Or like spell corrected And I was like What character was that? Because we got some funky names here Coming at number eight is Gloppy

Now here's the thing about Gloppy This is supposed to be Candy Land And Glopi is just like He's if you know the Pokemon muck He's basically a muck He's a giant pile of what could be Perceived as shit frankly But I think it's like fudge

But he's like fudge but he's holding up like a popsicle stick with fudge on it but it looks like one of those like chocolate popsicles you get you know that's not a popsicle but it's on a popsicle stick and so my thought is like this guy is I always felt like he was more of like an ice cream treat than candy I think it's because of the popsicle stick but that's gloppy

he's towards the end of the game and he doesn't look that menacing or friendly one way or another. He kind of looks like maybe a CTE or something, but Gloppy is just kind of boring, brown, not vibrant. Number seven, Mr. Mint. This is a candy cane themed character. It looks like something out of the island of Misfit Toys. He's got a big red clown nose.

And frankly, he's just like 95% candy cane. And there's not a lot else going on. here. I don't know. He's just tall and lanky. He looks like he could be a power forward for the San Antonio Spurs Development League team. Victor Wenbignana. Nothing that exciting going on for Mr. Mint. Now we're getting into prime time. Here comes number six. It's Jolly. So Jolly is, in my mind, very similar to another character that we're going to get to towards the end here. But Jolly is kind of the gatekeeper of the gumdrop forest with a gumdrop pass i guess it's called he's uh just kind of a big gumdrop blob with glasses which is kind of cool uh definitely we're we've moved

into a new echelon as we go from mr mr mint into jolly i don't think jolly is elite but like if you ask me to draw you just like a really good solid candy land character jolly would be high up on my list uh number five we have Princess Lollie. Princess Lollie, she's petite, she's sweet, she's cute. She's kind of like Marianne on Gilgin's Island. Like she's not the quote unquote hot one like Ginger, but she has a certain understated cuteness to her. She's got great curls in her hair.

She's got lollipops coming out of her head. A nice yellow dress, very, you know, just very well put together. So if you find yourself with some extra time to spare around to the what is this the the the the the candy cove i'm not sure where she's located on the map but princess lolly not bad quite a catch number four is the kind of final boss of the game it's king candy that's two k's and uh it's it's kind of tough because i don't think king candy is great as quite as creative as some of these other characters but he's also like the end he's the king you got to put some respect on the name you come for the king you best not miss that's like

when you need to hit a purple and you hit a yellow instead. That's embarrassing. And then Abby gets Queen Frosty, double purple, game over. But King Candy, not bad. You know what? You got to respect them. Now we're getting into nut cutting time. Speaking of which, number three is Grandma Nut. That's G-R-A-M-A space N-U-T-T. For a while, as I was creating these rankings, I was like, Grandma Nutt, it's got to be number one. But the other two were just so iconic. I had a hard time. She lives on a little cottage. She's got a basket and nut. She's got a really cute blue dress bonnet combo going on. She kind of looks like my wife's grandmother. She's around the molasses swamp. And she looks like she's got some secrets. Like maybe she murdered someone. Not sure. But Grandma Nut. Sounds like a porn actress, like Jilf name, right? GILF. You can ask your kids what that stands for. the aforementioned Queen Frostine, just a total babe. She's got kind of this scepter pointing to the sky.

It's very reminiscent of when like the star descends upon Hooville at the end of the Grinch. And it's just like radiating light and energy. She, I mean, she's a total babe. She's got like long flowing hair. It's like incandescent, transparent. She's radiant, frankly, surrounded by ice cream cone. rainbows, cotton candy, you can't beat that. Pure sugar, pure sex appeal, Queen Frosty.

And then coming in at number one, the first man you come across, he is literally a troll. I think that's what he's supposed to be. He's green, he's furry, he's got a big old mustache, and he loves plums, that's right. Number one is plumpy. And in addition to just his trolling ways, in terms of those eyes those eyes will haunt me forever there is nothing worse than you're sitting

there knocking at king candy's door you just need a purple to close things out and you draw a plumpy and if you never played it what that means you got to go all the way back to more or less the beginning it's like hitting tornado strikes in the game of life and he's just staring at you with those eyes offering you a plum it's like uh frank reynolds danny devedo and it's always sunny can I offer you an egg in these trying times? That's Plumpy. Can I offer you a plum in these trying times? So there's our power ranking from 9 to 1, Lord Liquorice, Gloppy, Mr. Mint, Jolly, Princess Lolly, King Candy, Grandma Nut, Queen Frostine, and Plumpy. Let's close things out here with our trivia question of the day. Very simple. Take your best guess. It's a quick hitter. Then we're going to close things. What year was the pumpkin spree?

latte born and it is like a Starbucks IP kind of thing what year did they first come out with the Starbucks pumpkin spice latte they did like a test run I think and it was like Vancouver and Washington DC I saw a hundred stores in those two metro areas and it did very well and then by the next year they had kind of launched nationwide and took off and it's been a thing ever since but What year was that initial launch? We have a guest, a guess coming in from the guest on the text line. Rachel said, she's laughing. 2004, is that your guess?

When was, I usually I write down the answer, and this time I didn't. I actually, I think I know the answer, but I want to look it up just to confirm. Okay, Rachel is very close. If you need any more time, go ahead and take a final guess. The answer to what year was the pumpkin spice latte born? It was 2003. So Rachel listed by one year. 2004 is when it really kind of became rolled out and started to become a big deal.

But 2003 was when it was first developed. That is what I have for you on today's Beantown podcast, Halloween. Spooktacular. I want to thank everyone for tuning in. Remember to email us with your comments. questions, dating advices, or proposals for small business investments. I got tens of dollars to play around with. I'd love to invest. I don't know why my mind went there. I guess it's because I was watching some students last night. We had our last class of the quarter, and they were doing their

final presentation, and they like set it up like a shark tank pitch. And they had the intro and outro music and everything. And I didn't give them a single dime because they couldn't tell me their customer acquisition costs. I hope everyone has a safe and happy Halloween. My name is Queen David Furness. I hope you stay safe. Stay sane. I'll check in on you guys next time.

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