Beantown Podcast - Happy Hanukkah & Promiscuous Christmas Songs (12082023 Beantown Podcast)

Episode Date: December 8, 2023

Quinn comes to you LIVE to NOT promote Lady Gaga and her sexual promiscuity and instead focus on the wholesome things like peppermint mines, peanut butter porters, and Catholic Jesus

Hey, what's going on? It's Quinn David Fernis. Welcome to my show, Quinn David Fernis presents the Beentown Podcast for Friday, December 8, 2023. One of the last couple episodes here of year six on the Beentown Podcasts. Come to your live streaming on Beentown Networks, SoundCloud, Spotify, Rest in Peace, Stitcher, Apple Music, wherever you're podcasting. on the bean town podcast coming to you live streaming on bean town networks sound cloud spotify rest in peace stitch or apple music wherever you're podcast. Thanks for tuning into my show. I am the host creator producer set designer prop designer. I saw the prop designer from the office past away. I saw it. I read it post about that from the office ladies podcast, one of our main competitors. So rest in peace to that guy.

But we're coming to you live on a Friday afternoon here, talking Christmas songs. I think, you know, as I was writing this show about an hour or two hours ago on the bike. I realize maybe we've done this show in the past. I don't know, but we'll just treat like a groundhog stay. We're going to be power ranking and more just kind of loosely discussing some of my least favorite Christmas songs, holiday season songs. We got some suggestions and recommendations from Rachel. I've got a couple ones that didn't quite make the cut of like my least favorite, but they're dangerously close. So we're going to get into that in a second. Listen to discretion is advised.

And to listen to the B-tom podcast, and everyone will occasionally some language number two, this podcast is objectively terrible. Pretty tired, long week of work, worked downtown till nine p.m. last night. And it got the two drinks lined up here. So I feel like we haven't done a podcast while consuming your favorite adult beverage in a

little while and once January hits we're gonna have a full probably four shows without it. So I got to Gotta pace myself gotta be ready for a dry January coming up. It always sneaks up on you, doesn't it? Doesn't it? And it's you know, it's it's something I welcome. It's something that I definitely need to reset for. It's good for my body, good for my mind, but it's also definitely a challenge. And it means I got 23 days left here before I go cold for 31 days. And I got to get locked and loaded. So we've got the new Belgium Christmas ale, a fresh six pack in the fridge ready to go. And we just came back from Sagittuck, which shout out to Sagittuck and the friends amount of bottled head, the orb, all that

great stuff. That was a really fun show last week. Hopefully you found it interesting entertaining. What I like about the orb is just like this really cool thing to look at. It's a great place to do a little bit of hiking. It's neat because it's like in between town and the beach so it's got some nature going on We you know we saw some deer while we were there But there's a lot of like interesting history behind it as well. So hopefully you enjoyed last week's show coming to you live from a top and

At the base of the stairs and then up at the top and then down again at the base of stairs mountain bald head and the orb Live there in Saga Tuck Michigan Another great weekend in Stogetuck and a nice time at the Christmas parade, the ugly sweater bar crawl. I don't think we ended up winning any of the raffle prizes, unfortunately, but had to stock up on some good beer. So Rachel got a, it's called Melon Ball IPA. I think it was from Stogetuck Brewing.

And I, of course, had to pick up my peanut butter porter. So this, I'm drinking my second can of six here. I had one last week and while we were there, we're were sipping on the SagaTuck Brewing Company peanut butter porter. And then I've got a little bit of, it's not Tillamore do, I'm turning remember, but it's a classic whiskey brand,

but this is their Rye version. It's a shame I can't remember. It's not like Makers, but this is their Rye version. It's a shame I can't remember. It's not like Maker's Mark or anything like that. It's gonna bug me, and I'm gonna find out in half an hour when we wrap this show. But, so we got all that stuff in the fridge. I really wanted to grab a four pack of the Mitten Brewing

Company's Penets and Cracker Jack, which is just an insane beer. So we had some, we went to Mitten, kind of at the end of our bar crawl before dinner last Saturday, and got it, got the flight, which we always do there. It's a little kind of like offshoot tap room with pizza basically, and then their beer, their main places and grand rapids. But they have another great, you know,

a great peanut butter, peanut flavored beer peanut and cracker jack. And wanted to get a four pack, could of what we were there, but then I was like, well, you got to carry it around for the rest of the bar crawl for dinner. So I was like, well, we'll just go get to the next day, but we woke up and got going. So early, the next day that it doesn't open till noon. I was like, well, we're ready to get out here by like 10 30. So I don't want to just like bum around town for an hour and a half on a Sunday morning, just waiting to pick up some beer. So next time, we'll get it.

It's tough because you can't find that beer outside of their brew pub at all. So I'm going to get it someday. Until then, it's just going to have to be a once a year kind of a little bit of a taster. Although I don't remember if I talked about this on last week's show, but I was reading before I went to Mount Baltehead last week and I was reading about the Mount Baltehead Challenge, which is either, I think I was talking about this, but yeah, it's a 10K or a half marathon. And I would be interested in participating then in the future.

We'll see how the schedules line, how the stars line, that sort of thing. But it could be fun. Shout out to our good friends, not only in Sawhi Thuk, but of course in the great nation of Pakistan. Thank you for making us the 112th ranked comedy podcast in the nation of Pakistan. Hello Hyderabad, hello Kiberpas, hello Karachi. I was reading about someone who

starred in, or maybe the guy who directed the kite runner, which is Afghanistan, not Pakistan, but they're close, they're neighbors. I read that book and never saw the movie, however. But I'm also speaking of reading, finally I'd had like many books waiting to come, waiting in transit for me to pick up. And I finally got to this week, I'm excited for I read the first couple of pages of one of them, Princess Diaries,

Bay Carrey Fisher, which is all about kind of her time, working and filming the original Star Wars 1977, I think, filmed in 1976. So I'm a little bit into that, wrestling piece, Carrie. And then I got a great book called How Music Works, which is kind of a memoir slash deep dive into music creation and commercial music production by David Byrne from the Talking Heads, who's a very accomplished musician and just human being. So I'm pumped for that one. That one's thick. It's like commercial music production by David Bern from the talking heads who's a very accomplished musician and and just human being so I'm pumped for that one that one's thick it's like 400 pages or something like that but it should be good. So finally I have some

have some good reading to do. I'll have to wait to read Ballad of Songbird and Snakes with Lucy Gray and Primrose and Katniss and Cornelius Snow, Coraline Snow, whatever his name is. I don't know. I like Cornelius. You can call him Cornie. I was speaking of Cornelius and then we'll talk about the segues as well because we are going to talk about Christmas here. I think I mentioned listener discretion as advised, but just in case I didn't, it's advice because the show is objectively terrible and sometimes we use some language. I was, it was like half asleep late and I got home late. It was like 11 to 30. I was lying in bed. And someone on Reddit posted about how, and this, you see these posts come around

this time of year every year, but someone posted about how they finally saw the original cut of Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer. And they learned that Yukon Cornelius, the reason that he licked his pickaxe every time he threw it and it stuck in the ground was that he was searching for a peppermint, of course. If you, this is a revelation to, you're gonna learn right now.

And you can email us being Tom Podcasts at Yahoo.com, sort of where you stood on this, because we had a, excuse me, we had a VHS of Rudolph the Red Nose Ranger growing up and we would watch it, you know, once a year on average and decorating the tree. But in the home release, I don't know what you would call it, home release, I guess.

Rudolph the Red Nose Ranger, everyone knows you concord, Nelius of course, and he spends a home movie, you know, prospecting, he's a prospector that's his profession. But he just kind of throws his pickaxe in the air, lands the ground, he looks and he says, nothing. But in the, I don't know what it would be, the extended edition, the director's cut something along those lines. There is like a, like a five to ten second deleted scene right at the end when Rudolph flies away with the rest of the reindeer and Santa Claus to deliver presents. There's a scene with Hermi and Yukon Cornelius, it's just like pans down, it's

not a separate scene, like pans down from the sky to the ground. And it's the celebratory music in the background and Yukon throws his pickaxe in the air and the pickaxe lands in the ground and he tastes it and he says something like Urika, I found it, peppermint, what I've been searching for all my life. So he lands on a peppermint mine, which is funny because he's been searching for it and now he finally found it, but it's in sand, it's in the North Pole, Santa Claus' front yard. So Santa's been making big old bucks off of this for eternity. That's probably how he affords to buy out these slave elves because he's got unlimited peppermint at his disposal. But there was a heated argument on Reddit,

which was really stupid about people were like, oh no, he could taste the pickaxe and he could taste if it was gold or if it was silver. And he wasn't actually searching for peppermint. And so it's so dumb because like, these people just hadn't actually seen the closing scene, but you can see it on YouTube. Effective you just go one handedly like I am here,

as I'm holding the Samsung Q2U series, it's got crisp, clean audio quality, from Genesis to Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, to your enemy and whatever book, Hanukkah is in, I don't think I ever got to that book in the Old Testament, but whatever one that one in, because Hanukkah started today, I think it is yesterday, something like that.

When God speaks, He uses a Samson all, so give a shout out to good friends, it cuts by Q, did a nice little shave by Q here. Kind of rushed through it, so not cuts by Q, best work, but the next little bit scratchy probably could have probably could have taken a little bit more time on that, but it's okay, it is what it is. I decided to keep the full beard for without the neck beard for the mountain man look because I'm actually driving now to southern Illinois, Monday morning to do some hiking in the Shawnee National Forest region.

I'm pumped for that because I've never actually gone to that part of the state before. I've been to St. Louis, I've been to Louisville, I've been to Memphis, but there's kind of this fertile crescent, if you will, at the very bottom of the state where the, you know, Mississippi river is running, or ran into by the Ohio River, the southern tip of Illinois, and I'm excited. There's so much good nature down there. And this time of year is going to be great. Did you miss the good fall colors? Yes, but it's going to be very quiet, very still. There's not going to be a ton of other people out there because I'm going to be hiking like Tuesday, Wednesday,

Thursday. So yeah, I'm excited for it. And captain it all off, staying at the super eight in Carbondale, which is something out of a John Hughes movie, right? That's something like John Candy would align that he would drop, right? He's staying down in the super rate and carbon deal.

So it's, it feels perfect for the Christmas time of year, I think. Cuts by Q. When you need to fresh do something, snap your new call the experts at cuts by Q. Yeah, here we go. Rudolph the Red Nose Ranger 1964 peppermint mine scene. I can't play it over the airwaves for you due to copyright reasons. MGM or whoever owned this, But yeah, so Santa takes off. There's Donner. Oh, this is kind of confusing. A quick hot thing for you. So I'm 10 minutes, 10 seconds into this 33 second scene. And you see Santa and the reindeer root off at front. They take off. they fly away from Christmas Village.

And then it pans down and you see three reindeer. So it's Clarice, right? His girlfriend that he's, you know, hooking up with kind of behind the scenes. And then there's Clarice's mom, who I don't think has a name in the film, I don't know. But then there's Clarice's dad, who's the, I think it's Clarice's dad,

or maybe it's Rudolph's dad, I don't know. Rudolph's dad in this picture is, I think it's Donner, I think it's Cleary's dad or maybe it's Rudolph's dad. I don't know. Rudolph's dad in this picture is I Think it's Donner. I think and then Cleary's dad like might be the Jim coach Blitzen I'm not sure. I don't remember how that goes But you see the three of them down there and it's confusing because I thought whoever this This alpha male here and on the screen Whether it's Rudolph's dad or whether it's a Jim coach, they were one of Santa's eight reindeer, right? It wasn't just some random reindeer who wasn't in the

guild GUILD. So that's kind of confusing to me. I don't know maybe an oversight from the production crew there. But then Yukon walks out, he stumbles out, he's got his little critters. That's something I'll say, love Yukon has these little critters. I think they're critters. They're his sled dogs, but they're not as big as like a normal husky would be, or Siberian malamute, or whatever type of a dog, a sled dog traditionally is. I think typically just huskies. So they're so small, and they look so cute and dainty. I love those little critters especially. I gotta go back and watch this at some point. This Christmas season, when you kind of like starts to go on his sled,

he's getting pulled by something. I don't remember what, but all his little critters jump on top and they're along for the ride. And it's just funny thinking that they're like actually sled dogs that are supposed to uh, supposed to be the ones pulling his sled. So just kind of fun. Okay, so we continue on here.

Yukon throws his pickaxe into the air like he always does. He walks over, lands, he licks it. He says, peppermint would have been searching for my whole life. I'm something rich. It sounded like whole life. I'm something rich. It sounded like he said, I'm fucking rich. I don't think that's right though. Then he says, Wahoo, and it pans down to Hermi, and he gets so taken aback by the great joyous news

that he tumbles backwards in classic Hermi fashion. So there you go, peppermint mine. If you watch the VHS release of Rudolf Therado's Ranger all these years and you had no idea, there you go. That's what Yukon has been searching for, not silver nor gold. In hindsight, it is a beautiful misdirection because he talks about how there's gold in these hills when he first meets Rudolf and Hermi. And then he sings a whole song called Silver and Gold or he doesn't sing it Sam the snowman sings it but it's kind of his song right and

Then at the very end of the movie turns out he didn't care about Silver and Gold He was in it for the peppermint so there you go Okay, I have this off by saying thank you to our sponsors home pride organ If you are a new home buyer, or maybe a second time home buyer, third time home buyer doesn't really matter, in central Oregon, your home inspection is something that you can't just kind of slack on. You can't mess around with it, right?

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whole-bite organ inspection perfection Okay, so what we're actually talking about here is Power ranking or talking about some about here is power ranking or talking about some less than savory Christmas songs. And I think that we've done this type of thing in the past, but I want to jump back into it. And maybe some of these are things that we've already talked about. Maybe some of these are things that we haven't talked about, but I do want to get into

some of these. But before we do that, I want to talk about our paladrum of the day. So I was thinking, you know, what's a, you know, a fun kind of Christmas or holiday themed word. That would be a nice paladrum and I was kind of running through them in my head, you know, frosty, no Hanukkah, no Hanukkah with a sea in front closer but not quite and so I did a little Google search I landed on Pinterest and I came across a Holiday Christmas Palendrome poem that is a little bit confusing and you'll see why in a second year this poem is 95% of the way there and the last five percent just doesn't really make any sense. So here you go

Here's this week's Palendrum of the day. Carolors singing bells ringing snow falling lights glowing hot coffee giving gift. And here's to step out. Here's where things get wonky. This is the middle if you will. The focal the folkrum. What is that called in physics, the folkroll point, something like that. I think folkrum is that right. I don't know, it's like the middle pivot. Christmas Eve, and then it goes back and just is an inverse what we just did. So gift giving, coffee hot, it's kind of a weird thing to say.

Glowing lights, falling snow, ringing bells, singing carolers. And that's your palindrome of the day, because it's not a palindrome. It's a Christmas poem. And if you just took out the weird Christmas Eve that is in the middle. So again, to recap, it goes, I know it's easier if you're looking at it like I am. So you get towards the middle of this

poem that goes hot coffee, giving gift. It should be giving gifts. If you're just giving one gift, you're kind of a cheap ass, right? Giving gift. And then it says Christmas Eve. And then it says gift giving coffee hot, glowing light. So this isn't your traditional palindrome letter by letter. This is word by word. But it's why do they put Christmas Eve in there? Because if you just said hot coffee, giving gift or giving gifts and then gifts giving or gift giving. I guess that's they had to say

gift giving gift because gift giving makes more sense than gifts giving. But they throw this random Christmas Eve in the middle. It doesn't make any sense and it really messes up the whole palindrome and frankly Christmas is kind of canceled. So I don't know who wrote that Christmas poem, certainly not Jesus, definitely not Santa Claus, but I think they need to maybe a little refresher on what a palindrome is and you can't just throw a random Christmas even there, still call it a palindrome. So, sorry to sour the mood. Let's talk, we're going to have trivia at the very end here. It's Hanukkah related. I'm not gonna go too much further which is the avocade classic thing to say on the show, but I just got a couple songs. I don't want to walk you through.

We're not doing a couple footnotes. We're not doing like an in-depth breakdown of each one of these songs. Just in here that comes to mind. And we're not going like here's number 10. Here's number nine. Here's number, it just got a list here that I wrote on the bike. I didn't have time to, or didn't think about it really in the way of like, oh, this is by far my least favorite. This one isn't so bad. So we got a couple just like, not different,

not different tiers, but just like these belong in different places. Starting with some of Rachel's suggestions, she had to that she made sure that we should mention here on the podcast. So to lead off This is a this one belongs on like all of these lists these bad Christmas song lists. It's not uncommon. It's pretty classic. It's Dominic the donkey and I'll be honest Dominic the donkey is not a song that I listened to or heard a lot growing up and To the States not one that I'll like oh, yeah, I come across this often and I've got to skip it. Excuse me, it really doesn't exist in my circle, if you will.

So I gave it a fresh listen when I was on the bike. And it's bad. It's in the same realm as I want to hip-hop on it for Christmas, which we're going to talk about in a little bit here. But what takes Dominic the donkey to the whole next level is just the egregious usage, the flagrant F-L-A-G-R-A-N-T. Usage of all these weird like hacky, hoki, I don't know what the difference is between hacky and hoki, but it's both of them, weird sound effects. Like when they mention Dominic the donkey, there's like this weird jingle that comes through.

There's like the slave al noise going on, which really gets on your nerves after a while. There's, you know, just kinda like the, don't have a better adjective for it, but just like bump fuck, kinda baseline. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, and then, you know, the stupid donkey, but just like bump fuck kind of baseline. And then you know, the stupid donkey, no one ever wanted donkey sound effects in a movie in a song, not even a song about donkeys.

You could call it shake my ass. And I wouldn't want donkey sound effects in it. So I don't have much more to say about it because I wasn't raised and Dominic the donkey but it's definitely a song that I'm very happy to I don't need to like oh I'll listen to it once a year because it's Christmas I don't need it no we can just there's 5 7,000 to 1100 Christmas songs out there and we just don't have room for a Dominic the donkey in the inn right Luke 11, the Shepherds were terrified,

and there was no room in the Inn, and Yada Yada Yada Hanaka. There you go. The other one that Rachel suggested, I think is a good entry. The Michael Jackson or Jackson 5 version of I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus, which I don't know, were they the original artist

who did that? I'm certain they didn't write the song, but are is that because we all know the Michael Jackson or Jackson five version, but was like, is it like, was that the first one that came out in the back in the 60s? I actually, it's strange how life works sometimes. I woke up and you know, work from home today. And I think the first thing I would say every other day every third day I woke up I wake up with a song in my head and it's just completely random. I don't have any explanation for it. It's not like oh

yeah someone said something about this the night before and then I went to bed and I woke up and something related that was in my head. Tonight or this morning is a perfect example. Before I you know asked Rachel for her entries into this I woke up this morning and I had ABC by Jackson 5 in my head. So I watched the I don't know what it was some variety Standard can't speak here lose and I lose in my words here classic variety show something you know like Dick Clark something like that Where the Michael Jackson the Jackson 5 lip sync, they're, you know, they're song ABC. And I never seen the clip before, but that song was stuck in my head when I woke up. And so there's

no reason for this. I haven't listened to Jackson 5 or thought about Michael Jackson and, I don't know, months. Like that's not a hot take. It's been many months since I've even considered those artists or Michael. So, and then, you know, six hours later, Rachel's out here saying, oh yeah, Michael Jackson 5, I saw him on the case in Santa Claus. I think what really Bukter was the, you know, kind of Michael Jackson commentary, the little 10-year-old kid in the background. I did, I did, you know, that kind of thing. So I get it.

It's, yeah, that song doesn't disappoint me. I don't feel as hollow inside when I listen to that as I do. Dominic the donkey, but I agree with the suggestion and I appreciate it. So thank you to my lover, my fiance, Rachel Ramos for those suggestions. I wanna mention one other thing, and he's welcome to come on the show and kind of not dispute the take,

but clarify anything as necessary. But my impression growing up, my understanding growing up was that my dad really hates the little drummer boy. Which is, on one hand, makes sense, because it's a super irritating, repetitive song. On the other hand, it's just funny to think that, you know, my dad, a very kind, gentle person,

just really hates a song about this little kid, playing his drums. The reason I said he could come on the shirt of clarifies, I feel like I usually heard that my dad hated that song through my mom. Like she would always say, Oh, yeah, Steve hates this song. So yes, in case you're wondering, that's Steve at from Home Pride Oregon, 541-0316, we're going to home pride organ.com, mention code little germerboy to add. It's like a negative 10% discount code.

Your inspection is gonna cost more. But it's only 10% so it's really not that bad. It's like worth it maybe to rile them up, I guess. Something to consider, I don't know. But here's what I'll say about little germerboy. If it's like a really kind of way to cheery, white lady singing, like Chris and Chenoweth or something singing Lil' Jummer Boy and whatever version you can imagine that would be, I am 100% on board. That's gonna be terrible. I just want to give

a quick plug to the Vince Crawldy Trio version of Lil' Jummer Boy from the Charlie Brown Chris soundtrack, because that thing is you still get, you know, the little kids from the, I don't know where they from, the little kids from like a school, like a primary school in St. Paul, right? Or like a Catholic school in St. Paul who assisted Vince Grawdy with the recording of that soundtrack, you know, they're on. Christmas time is here, of course.

Hark the Herald, Angel Singh, a little drummer boy, and probably something else I'm forgetting, I don't know, but with all the kids singing in the background, I think it's, I have to go back and research this. I think it's a primary school, Catholic school, I think, or maybe a public school, I'm not sure, in St. Paul, which is where Charles Schultz was from. Now, by the time he was older, he lived in,

I think he lived in Los Angeles. I think he moved in, of course, like Lee Mendelssohn, who produced that show in Vince Garali. Those guys were all, you know, Hollywood. So, but I think they got the kids from St. Paul. I don't think it was Los Angeles. So that's kind of cool. I mean, obviously I will side with St. Paul over LA, any chance I get. So here's just another example.

But Steve, dad, if you're out there, if you actually really love Little Drama Boy and it's been a misinformation, disinformation, what's the difference between disinformation and misinformation? I don't know. It's been one of those campaigns for the last, the last 29 years I've known you, then we welcome you onto the show, not only to promote your business,

but to clear up your thoughts on the little drummer boy. Shout out to my dad for coming on our show. I gosh, I guess it's been three years now for our year, what, three Christmas special would have been, something like that. We did a taste test, a blind taste test of various hostess and little Debbie products and had to guess which ones were which. That was also a video cast. You can find a select number of our shows on my YouTube channel if you search for Beentown Podcast, Quint furnace, whatever you want to search

where you'll find it. Okay, so here's my list. And I'm not going to go super in depth on this because I want to get through this pretty quickly. But just in there, they kind of cover a wide array of, you know, pop kind of things, your traditional, some of them, I guess there's only like two traditional, I don't know. My first one is Carol of the Bells. And it's, it's just so repetitive. In a similar

kind of way that little drummer boy is, but Carol the Bells is just like hard to get away from. There's nothing interesting that happens in that song. It's like, if you learn to play it on the piano, if you learn to play it on the piano, if you learn to play the first two measures, you know how to play the whole song. And anytime I hear Carol the Bells, it gives me slight PTSD, shout out to the East High School,

Rockford East High School band. It wasn't an orchestra, I don't know what you would call it. Back in 2013, 10 years ago, probably pretty much to this day, I was a freshman in college, I had come back home, I said a big six-week winter break. And I got hooked up with the East High School Christmas program, whatever. I think I made 50 bucks off of it. The guy who ran it was my brother Jacks a old violin teacher younger or oldest child, I think

Kind of convoluted there. But I got hooked up to play with these guys and they did all sorts of songs. I don't remember what exactly I was involved in when I wasn't, one thing I wasn't involved in was their cover of Christmas list. That's L-I-Z-S-T, which is done by who is it. It's not it's not Manheim Steamroller. It's the other like Christmas rock band. Oh that does that song., I typed in Christmas list and I couldn't even find it. I know that's the name of the song. But basically it's a song that combines like some Christmasy stuff like Carol of the Bells with Lists Hungarian Rhapsody number two, which you would know if you heard it. But I'm bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum We had to do this in other songs, and I remember what it was, but I was playing piano for them. And we had like one rehearsal beforehand, and these were just, I know most of you listening don't know the intricate fabric of rockbirds for public high schools, Jefferson, East Auburn and Gilford.

But let's just say East is on the low end of the spectrum in terms of talent reputation. Pretty much everything. Gopher is a lot of the kind of richer, nicer kids, Auburn, is Westside, which has its own kind of story, but also everything east is just like hardcore east side But not like far east side just not a lot of funding not a lot not a lot happened in there So I'm I'm there trying to like plays with these guys. They got a full drum set and stuff. It's just terrible Just one of the worst things I've ever heard It's really challenging for me. It's really challenging for them But we did the performance it happened just one of the worst things I've ever heard. It's really challenging for me. It's really challenging for them. But we did the performance. It happened, I think one or two people clapped.

And then at the end, I was surprised because there was no forewarning for this. At the end, the music director, Jack's violence teacher, kid was like, hey, why don't we play some this is the show is still going on. Like the show didn't end like everyone's still in the auditorium. And he's like, why don't we play some Christmas carols and we can all sing along. And he's like, you know, uh, joy to the world.

You know, Hark the Harold Angels sing like talking to me in front of this group. And I'm like, okay, I don't have any sheet music or anything. I'm just going to like use my ear and we're going're gonna do it. It wasn't like the whole band was playing which is me at the piano on this stage in front of you know probably like 75 people I don't know but that happened so I think that was the last time I ever played for a Christmas program 18-year-old Quinn so there you go to come back all the way on that. Carol the Bell is not my favorite. I think this is not a hot take at all.

I think lots of you will feel this way. But this song just, I think out of all the songs on this list, this is the one that just makes me the most upset when I hear it on the radio. Wonderful Christmas time, Paul McCartney. I don't even have much to say about it. I will just say the course in that song plays over and over and over again, 37 gazillion times in a row. And it's a it's a two line two measure course

simply having a wonderful Christmas time. It's the most boring like chord progression of all time. It's got a very irritating slave bells in the background and then it has this strange like, you know, the like kind of like synthesizer, like if the synthesizer was drunk kind of sound playing some chords in the background. That's sort of thing. And the whole thing comes together and it's just the worst thing I've ever heard. I would rather listen to mistress for Christmas by ACDC off of, I don't know what album it's on, probably the razor is edge, something like that. I would rather listen to that Brian Johnson singing about sleeping with Australian hookers for 30 straight hours than have to listen to wonderful Christmas time twice. I'll stand by that.

Brian Johnson over Paul McCartney. Hot take. I don't care. Next up on our list here, again, in no particular order, this one is going to upset some family members, so I apologize, but I'll just, I'll go through it quickly, I promise. The chipmunk song, I had to look it up, because I was like, what is this song actually called? Everyone knows what this song is. Everyone knows that it's sung by Alvin and the Chip Unx. Christmas, Christmas time is here. It's just called, I looked it up. It's just called the Chip Unx song. That's my first strike against it. You couldn't come up with a more evocative title. There's a good word for it. This holiday season, evocative, e, v o c a t i v e evocative, E, V-O-C-A-T-I-V-E, evocative. Here's what I'll say about.

There's a certain catchiness to it, the hook, I get it. It's fun. It's stupid in a silly way. Like I'm not like, oh, this is burning my brains. I can't listen to it. What I really don't like is the talking in between where the guy, I don't know who it is, but he's played by Jason Lee in the, you know, 21st century films where he's like, okay, that was good theater, that was pretty good Simon. Alvin, what about you? Alvin, and then he yells, that just, if it happened once in the song,

I'd be like, okay, that's their thing, that's cool, I get it, but it happens like three times. And I just, he yells, and he's like, Alvin cool, I get it, but it happens like three times. And I just, he yells and he's like, Alvin and I was like, okay. And again, it happens once it's cute, it happens twice. I think it happens three times in the song, I don't know. I don't want to listen to it. It just gets tiring. I feel tired listening to it.

So there you go, Chipmunk song. Next up, we have, oh, this one, I really hate just the idea of it. So there you go, chipmunks song. Next up, we have, oh, this one I really hate just the idea of it makes me a little, like, Santa Baby. The whole, it's like a sexy singing, it's like Marilyn Monroe JFK kind of thing. Santa Baby come down my Christmas tree tonight, something like that. I don't know it. So kind of like evocative, but provocative is what we're talking about today. I think Santa Baby, I don't, it has anyone ever said like Santa Baby, oh, I love that song. It's, it's flirty, it's dark, it's sexy, I love it. No, it's just kind of gross.

Okay, we don't need to be talking about coming for Christmas. I know Vince Crawley has an instrumental in the Charlie Brown Christmas soundtrack called Christmas is coming, but it was like the early 60s, right? This Rolly has an instrumental in the Charlie Brown Christmas soundtrack called Christmas is Coming. But it was like the early 60s, right? I think we were a little bit more innocent back then, perhaps. So when you talk about coming down my big fat titties or whatever they say in Santa Baby, I don't recall.

But it's just not my cup of tea. This was in the Me Too movement, but even regardless of the subject matter, the kind of duet thing going on here is not my favorite, baby it's cold outside. So the obvious like coerced into sex kind of thing, not a fan of, but also just the like, excuse me, something about the melody of this one and the harmony is just like not doing it for me. So those are two of the more kind of like not modern pop hits, but more modern E Christmas songs. They're just like, eh, they're a little bit too sexy, but not in like a fun 30 way more in like a, there's, you got to, you got to come on me, you got to stay in here and come basically. So this podcast took a hard left turn. Let's get out of here. Let's talk about, let's talk about physical

abuse. John Denver, come on down. Please daddy. Don't get drunk on Christmas I had to listen to this one again on the train or on the bike this afternoon Because I knew that I was aware of this song, but I couldn't like sing it. I couldn't tell you anything about it That's a let's just grab the lyrics real quick if you never heard it. It's a very It's like I mean John Denver is always kind of country-ish. That's not even like a hot take. He's just basically a country artist, but before country at like Yellowstone basically. But it's a very like Hank Williams kind of country sound. But just a quick little, please daddy don't get drunk. This Christmas, John Denver.

I don't think he's saying it originally, but Phil lyrics. Here we go. Please daddy, don't get drunk. This Christmas. I don't want to see my mama cry. Please daddy don't get drunk. This Christmas. Okay, same thing. I don't want to see mama cry. Just last year when I was only seven, now I'm almost eight, as you can see, good writing. You came home a quarter past 11 and fell down underneath our Christmas tree. It's the course again. Mama smiled and looked outside the window.

She told me, son, you better go upstairs. Then you laughed and how her married Christmas, I turned around and saw my mama's tears and the course a couple more times. So it's a little bit unclear, a little bit vague. If you know, mom was about to get smacked in the face by Papa's five good reasons, I don't know, but are daddy, but it's not a super pretty picture.

It's not, there's not quite enough like fun, happy, brints and breadcrumbs. Breadcrumbs for it, breadcrumbs. This is just how the show is going. Breadcrumbs for it, the song to be like, oh yeah, he's drunk and he's just like an irresponsible dad. It still has enough toes in the water for it to be like, oh, dad's probably beating on mom.

And so it's kind of uncomfortable. And I don't want my Christmas to be uncomfortable. When I think of Christmas, I think about being super comfy, like sweatpants and probably having a little bit too much alcohol before noon. And eating a lot. And like sitting on a comfortable chair and having zero responsibilities. But I guess we'll change in a couple years when there's kids in the picture. There's going to be responsibilities.

But Christmas also kind of seems like the kind of day when it's like you can do whatever you want. You know, if you want to go outside and I don't know Play football and Spray in your ankle or something like We'll tape it up and we'll take you in the doctor the next day, okay? So there's a little preview of my dad skills Maybe cute my kid QJ maybe 20 years. He'll do a cover of please daddy. Don't get drunk this Christmas I feel like it's okay to get drunk on Christmas if you're good at being drunk

But if you start beating on mom, then it's not it's probably not okay That's kind of where I draw the line Rapping things up here. I think we've mentioned this on the podcast before but you know one of my long feuds is with Lady Gaga If you're not familiar with the Lady Gaga Christmas song called Christmas Tree, I know we were kidding around a little bit with like, come on my stockings and stuff, but Lady Gaga released a song called Christmas Tree like right when poker face was coming out

and like late 2000s when she was becoming a big thing. This song sounds like she produced it on like late 2000s when she was becoming a big thing. This song sounds like she produced it on like Garage Band in 2007 in a basement by herself. This is like the song, the cow song by Doja Cat. If you know that one, bitch I'm a cow or whatever it's called, where it's like this feels so raw and not professional and like weird. But you add the weird lyrics on top of that, here we go. So it's got some little drummer boy stuff going here to wrap up, pump, pump, pump, pump,

let me up, put me on top, let's follow, la, la, la, la, okay, let's fuck. The only place you wanna be is underneath my Christmas tree, let me up, put me on top, ho, ho, ho, under the mistletoe. Yes, everybody knows we'll take off our clothes. Yes, if you want us to, we will. So she's not really being as kind of vague as some of these other songs were we talked about.

I'm trying to see if there's any other new lyrics. The best time of the year, take off my stockings. I'm spreading Christmas cheer, spreading. Lady Gaga's either buy or fully lesbian, I don't know know I don't really care that much and then it ends with these lyrics not sexual just weird space cowboy Lady Gaga there she goes space cowboy Lady Gaga here we go cherry cherry boom boom it's like a two-minute song and it's atrocious I'm not just saying

that because Lady Gaga and I have a very public, highly publicized, long-standing feud. It's just a shitty song. Like I think Daddy Long Lakes is objectively a better song. I stand by that. My last song here is kind of a, sometimes you gotta admit when you're wrong. The whole album is not bad. There are some good tracks in there, but I will say this. Twisted Sister, you didn't think I was going there, did you? Twisted Sister

did a Christmas album maybe 10 years ago. I don't know, something like that. They do a number of tracks in there. Some of them are fine, some of them are yeah, but one that just doesn't work, they do a cover of 12 days of Christmas. And I could have just put generic 12 days of Christmas on here because it's such a boring song. By the time you get up to like eight, nine, you know, the dancers, the barons, whatever, we're up to at that point, I couldn't even name one through 12. I mean, I haven't heard that song at this year. One is a partridge in a pear tree too, is I don't know, five, I know is golden rings.

Turtle doves I think is two. There's one with drummers, there's one with maids and milkin' I think, something with lady Gaga's spreading. That's one of them perhaps. But Twisted Sister, if you don't know anything about them, we're not gonna take it, I wanna rock. So when you add that hair band metal kind of style and you gotta listen to it for like five minutes

and it's also repetitive, I'm just like, who greenlit this one? There's so many other Christmas songs. There, I mean, there's a million rock bands, like Weezer, Green Day, whatever who've done like generic cookie cutter kind of Christmas covers But 12 days of Christmas is just like no one wants to listen to that because it's just so long and so boring Weezer oh holy night

Hark the Herald Angels sing go check it out. I love that out there Christmas album arcade fire has like a weird Christmas check it out. I love that out. They're Christmas album. Arcade Fire has like a weird Christmas recording of like four songs when they were like in college where they're super drunk. There's some good stuff for you to listen to if you've never checked it out before. Okay, I mentioned before we would have this like two more things here, three more things. But these are songs for me that just made it. Like they could have been on this list, but I decided I don't actually actively hate them as much as these other ones I listed.

So in the three songs under the just made it list, we already talked about this, but I wanna hit the potions for Christmas. Same energy is Dominic the donkey, but a little bit more self-contained, no stupid music effects. And it knows when to quit, you know? It's like two and a half minutes.

It's got a good, you know, backing brass section. It's fine. It's not a song I wanna listen to over and over and over again, but if it comes on the radio, I won't change it. It's fine. Next, Mary, did you know we didn't really dabble into like the religious Christian Christmas songs this time around mostly because I tend to like most of

them but Mary, did you know I will will actively bypass if I get the choice but kind of bugs me. Why is the title of your song a question? Okay, you're leaving a lot up to the imagination. And then finally, in sync, Merry Christmas, and happy holidays, whatever it's called, I don't know. I appreciate it for the sort of the meme element of it. Okay, and that's why it is in the just-mated list. But boy, when you get towards Zandin, they're just saying that same,

referring over and over again I'm just kind of like all right and we this thing is past three minutes. Okay, we could it we could have cut this a little bit shorter So I think Insink did like a mini comeback. I don't know if they're actively like out there singing right now If it was just like a one event thing, but just in term blank link lands bass joy fatone the two other guys It's not I don't hate the song. I haven't heard it yet this year. I don't hate it, but it's close, it's close to being there. It'll get on my nerves pretty quickly. Okay, I did want to give one quick shout out. We've already mentioned a bunch of things that you should listen to, either just for the experience because I hate it or because I think it's actually good. But one, you know, a classic every year after we turned to it, done it once already this year, haven't finished the clip though. There's like a 90 minute clip on YouTube.

It's vintage, came art, Christmas music, and it's interspersed. The songs they would play with like the announcements on the PA. I think someone just like grabbed the tape that they would play and they turned it into a YouTube video. My dad would know a lot more about this, but I love that. It repeats a lot, so he starts to get old after a little while. You don't have to listen to the full 90 minute thing, but I just I love turning that thing on, man. And just zoning out. So if you YouTube search, came art Christmas, you'll see it. It's a great black and white kind of snowy picture from the parking lot of a came art store front.

So a lot of nostalgia there, obviously my dad, my brother Jack and I both worked at came art together for a little bit when we were in high school. So yeah, it's came art. I mean, just a quintessential part of my childhood. Finally, our trivia question the day here, gonna be very short and simple. I don't have a quintessential part of my childhood. Finally, our trivia question the day here, going to be very short and simple. I don't have a lot of context.

In fact, there's some controversy behind this answer when I was researching it, so we'll have to leave it up to the bean heads to sort this one out. But our trivia question of the day, what day of the week can Hanukkah not start on? Excuse me. So from the research I found, there's six days of the week you can start on. There's one that it can't. And again, I was doing research and it was like everyone was saying, okay, yeah, it's this day. It can't do it. But then I found like one or two of their blogs

were like, no, it could actually start on any day of the week. It has to do with, you know, obviously like Jewish holiday, Jewish calendar. And I couldn't find, I didn't research it enough to figure it out and be able to explain it exactly like here's why it can't be this day. I get don't know that for sure. But there was a pretty strong consensus on the internet that it could not be this day. So send us your answers being Tom Podcasts

at Yahoo.com if you would like. The, we'll reveal the answer now. The day of the week that Hanukkah cannot start on apparently pro internet sources is a Tuesday, which hey, this year holds up because Hanukkah started today. Just checked on my calendar, Hanukkah first day. So happy Hanukkah to all of our Jewish listeners out there. Even those of you who aren't Jewish,

but you just want to celebrate happy Hanukkah to you as well. And we've got what two more shows here before it's actual Christmas day, which is crazy. I'm going to have to come up with two more Christmas topics, but that's okay because I love this time here. Got a lot of music to listen to, not Dominic the Donkey, not Jackson 5, but there are other good Jackson 5 songs you can listen to. I don't actually know a Jackson 5 song

other than ABC and I want you back. There's probably something obvious I'm missing, but I'll go figure it out later. Guys, that's what I got for you. Going to church tonight, which is exciting. Catholic Jesus. My name is Quinn David Furnace. Thank you for supporting our show. Thank you for listening. Give us a five-story view on Apple if you're new

or wherever you're listening. Leave us a positive review list. Know where you are listening from. That's what I have for you everyone. Thanks so much for tuning in. Have a great weekend. Stay safe. Stay sane and I will check in on you next time bye I'm just going to sit there. ndご視聴ありがとうございました