Beantown Podcast - Mother's Day 2020 (05102020 Beantown Podcast)

Episode Date: May 11, 2020

Quinn comes to you LIVE from his apartment to share his favorite things about his mom, including 'Stima Kleckler Christmas,' taking him to see 'Attack of the Clones,' and her prolific saxophone abilities. Happy Mother's Day to all the moms!

Hey, what's going on? It's Quinn David Fernos. Welcome to my show. Quinn David Fernos presents the Bean Town podcast for Sunday, May 10, 2020. It's Mother's Day, the Mother of all Mildays. This is your host Quinn David Fernos, and we're coming to you live from the North Side of Chicago, Rogers Park, to be exact. How is everyone doing today? It's weird, I tell you what, man, last week in Chicago, last weekend, and for anyone who's ever heard of Chicago, they'll know this to be true. But last weekend on the Saturday was about 75 and sunny. The Sunday was a little bit

cooler down about 65. I just finished a nine mile walk in the snow here in Chicago. I went down to HB 94's apartment down in Lakeview. She's been on the podcast before October of 2018 and I went down there and fixed a light for her and came back up. But man, I tell you what, it was that win with fierce coming off the lake. And nine miles today on a walk. I ran a half marathon yesterday, which felt really good going out, going up to the behind temple, and was really rough coming back.

I tell you what, I never had to stop. I never had to walk, stop, pop and roll. But it was, yeah, I never had to walk, stop, pop and roll. But it was, yeah, by the time I finished, I was just... One of those things where one, your legs really start to just run out of energy, but my body in general was just kind of starting to shut down. I wasn't dehydrated. It was just, it was sunny the whole time in complete contrast to what the crap we've gone today. But it was, it was sunny and you know not that warm but just the sun being down in you for basically two hours is, is a lot. But yeah, you know what you got to do, you got to get out there

But yeah, you know what you got to do you got to get out there and go get some exercise stretch your legs especially on a Sunday afternoon Well, let's stacey handle it maybe That's right. We got a stacey King soundboard Going for our mother's day special And that is what we're gonna be, that's what we're gonna be working with today. I tell you what, there are a lot of just fun ones here. I don't think, I'm not trained enough in this sound board type of machine to be able to have all the good ones lined up. But, I mean, this one is fun.

Give it to me, Big Sexy I mean, this one is fun. Give it to me, big sexy. Oh, here's another classic. And then there are a lot of just, uh, kind of short fun ones to, like, we're just going to run the gamut here. Hope you're enjoying this. I'm getting to my tribute to my mom in a second, I promise. Oh! Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom!

Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam! Wow! Splash! Roll it!

Let's freeze it right about now! Boom! Boom! Boom! When rollin' free chees! Okay. I'm done!

For the moment, I promise. Until I find someone someone or until I find one that I really like. Oh, that's a good one. Okay, one more. It was late getting over, but it was early for a bolster. Okay, the only reason I think about this slash bringing it up was I created a funny picture. So one of my favorite things about my mom, getting her doctorate, which she finished, well, last month I think, but was supposed to walk.

We were supposed to do a podcast live from Texas this weekend, which is gonna be really exciting, but obviously quarantine week eight, I think we're on week 8 maybe, has completely stopped those plans in their tracks. Mom was supposed to be earning her EDD, her doctor of education this weekend, and she still is a doctor, and that's the best part, because she's now a doctor J, and anyone who's a fan of the NBA or just black athletes in general knows that Dr. J is an iconic basketball player.

Point guard I think, shooting guard, not sure for like the sixers and the nets too, maybe. I don't remember, but I found this fun picture on Facebook of Dr. J, basically dunking on the haters. And so I took mom's head shot through it over Dr. J. Wasn't able to get the Afro part quite right, but I think the message still got across because we racked up the likes for Dr. J on Facebook.

And that's why I think of it. Something like this. And this. And finally this. Oh, and finally this. So I wanted to do a little Mother's Day tribute to my mom on this episode. And before we get into that, I'll mention listener discretion is advised. When you're listening to the bean-tongued podcast number one will occasionally use some language, although no one uses more language than my mom does. Number two, this podcast is objectively terrible,

but I thank you for tuning in anyways to all of the tireless supporters. We are just kinda give you a little snippet of time here historically, we're like 122 maybe, episode 122, something like that. Plus, what do we have? Like eight, eight bean town unplugged specials at this point, I think seven or eight. So we're at about 130 total episodes, plus YouTube content, which is very exciting. We are on year three here, and almost halfway through.

And it's our third ever Mother's Day show and I'm excited. I was thinking, actually, so when I woke up this morning, I wasn't exact show what I wanted to do my podcast on. But I decided, you know what, let's do a little Mother's Day action. For Jane, Dr. J, I should say, for Dr. J. And so I was, well, I was on my nine mile walk this afternoon. I was thinking of, you know, different things that I really like about my mom and mostly funny things, but kind of, I did my best to kind of tie both humor and realism into it. And that's, you know, kind of what I try to do with the show in general. But I was writing a couple of things down and granted, it was actually really hard to type them into my phone

because it was snowing outside. And my hands were really cold. But I threw a few things into there, some things that were just off the top of my head. And so without further ado, I'm not gonna make you beg for it. That's the name of the anybody who's a Christopher Guest fan will know in Vestin's show. After the dog show ends, Jerry and Cookie Fleck put out a tape, an album on tape, of their dog songs. And then the name of the album is beg for it, I think.

Captain, the cookie and captain, something like that. Backyard front yard on the lawn, day with it till let's get stark however it goes Doing it tear your style bow wow Thank you for that Stacy um, I don't even remember how we got there this if you if you hadn't figured out, you're two and a half years into the Bean Tom podcast, I do a lot of stream of consciousness to put it lightly on the show and in life in general. But I tell you what, it's just the way my mind works. I'll just be lying there at night.

And it's kind of like, you get into these Wikipedia wormholes or black holes where you just click, click, you're just hyperlinked into oblivion. That's just kind of how my mind works. I'll say something that connects to something else and it just, it just comes out. I won't make it big for it. Last week was a long episode. I got some chocolate here. Some good stuff. Last week was our top 10 horse names episode.

And I think it was really well done. Tight was a tight production. So thanks to all the folks back in the editing room for helping me with that. Again, if you missed it, go check out our Top 10 Horse Names. It was number one, Irregardless this year. And it joins the ever- ever growing pantheon of annual

top horse names of mine. We now have three, because we've done three specials. We have Episcopalian, Pentetook, and we have eerie guardless. So let's jump in here to our tribute to mom. Alright so as I mentioned before there are a lot of things going on with this list and it's I mean I could make a list a mile long. That's how much I love my mom. Actually 13.1 miles long for each mile of my half marathon yesterday. But I just picked a couple ones that maybe you've forgotten about or maybe you never even knew about because 90% of the people, actually, that's generous. 60% of the people who listen to this podcast are not my mom if you're doing the math at home.

So maybe you're not even aware of some of these things. If you're doing the math, reservations for three, Mr. Hordez. Resurations for three, because three people are currently listening to this podcast. I would assume. Mom is such a good mom that she once dressed up as Paula Abduel to judge a homeschool talent show competition.

And if you're wondering what a homeschool talent show competition was, I don't even remember the majority of the acts that went on. I think there was some flute playing. There was potentially some sort of swing dance of some kind. There were many other things that I physically don't even remember. And then the winning act, which I don't want to, okay, I don't want to maybe get into the whole nepotism thing here because it benefited me, so I'm not going to talk about it.

But the winning act was my brothers and I, Jack and Walt, friends of the podcast, and we did a choreographed lip sync and dance to stay in a lie by the Bee Gees, which we practice in our basement for like two hours a night before to get it right. I think Walt was probably the criminal mastermind behind some of that choreography, but there's a video that exists on Facebook. I should try to figure out just how tough, just how challenging it would be to rip a video from Facebook, download it, and then upload it to YouTube. I imagine it's possible. And if nothing else, you can go the super janky

early 2000s version and videotape your screen and then upload that to YouTube. It's got potential, but Jane dressed up as Paul Abdul and she killed it. If you want to see the footage, the video footage, you can go check it out and find, it might even be like one of my featured Facebook photos, but it's out there, it's not hard to find. So Jane's a badass mom, but that's just one reason why. She is the genius behind some killer songs that you may or may not know because they have varying They've they've performed in to varying degrees of success on the billboard hot 100s charts But some of my favorites include stymoclecler Christmas if you don't know what this is

It's gonna sound really stupid when you talk about it. But that's just mom being mom. We took the tune, we mom took the tune, have a Holly Jolly Christmas as featured in Rudolph the Red Nose reindeer, closing credits maybe. And for some reason, I don't know why this is just Dr. J being Dr. J. decided to take out the majority of the words to Holly-Jolly Christmas and instead insert the surnames of various families who belong to the swim team club that we are part of, the Rockford Marlins. So Stima is a family. Clecler is a family. Steel was the last name of the family. Cyford, they have been part of the lyrics. I don't recall.

Harton Burger was probably in there. In fact, this is the second time in what three weeks that the last name Heart and Burgers come up on our podcast because we did a detasling podcast with Tim Muthur. I don't really have an explanation for how this ever came about, but Dr. J.毀, you'll have to get in touch with her. She's also, and I'm going to sing this one for you because I think you'll enjoy it. Also behind the top hit, big bucket of squat. And it goes something like this.

Big bucket of squat, big bucket of squat. You're a big bucket and you're full of squat. Big bucket of squat. Squat. Squat. Squat. How does she come up with this stuff? I don't know. I'm crying tears a lot over here.

I don't get it. If you ever, you know, you think of the great parody artists of our time, you think of Weird Al. And that's really the only one I can think of. But make room for Dr. J because, man, some of the stuff she comes up with in the musical department is just insane. Speaking of music, music, everyone's favorite word.

Speaking of music, Jane is a prolific musician. You might know her for her rich soprano voice or for her piano playing abilities because come Christmas time when she whips out those duet books. It's going down. But Dr. J played sax in high school and I tell you what, sometimes I'll be walking down the street listening to my MB3 player. And you get something like call me the breeze by Leonard Skinnerd comes on or New York State of Mind by Billy Joel. And I just, I go into like this trance like a daydream mode where I'm, you know, I'm hammering

away on the keys and pops playing the drums and at some point Sister learned how to play the acoustic bass because I just really like the visual But then you got you got Dr. J just killing it on the saxophone solos She's wearing like a cool fedora and some hip sunglasses mom that's that's like How I picture you in my head. So you're welcome. She also kills it at the ban show. Oh man, I tell you what, we've been to a couple of Dutton's concerts.

If you don't know the Dutons, go find them on YouTube. They had a run on America's Got Talent, but they're Branson, Born and Raised, I think, or Mormon, I don't know. Both, perhaps. But I always hope that one of these days, and we were at a Dutton's concert, they pull mom up on the stage, and she could do some sort of like, dueling banjo's thing. Maybe with the grandparents, that could be fun.

That could be very fun. Hasn't happened yet. We got to go back to Branson. We haven't been in 10 years. I think, I think 2020 would be, would be good. Mom, start practicing your banjo now because she's got the skills. We have a banjo or my parents have a banjo at their house. They just got a tune it on up. Let's see, a couple other things here, and then we'll read our ads, and then I got one other thing that I'm gonna mention

here before we close. It's, I'll keep it pretty short, I promise. Mom is a pretty versatile cook, and when I say pretty, I mean extremely versatile cook. She's got Indian food going. I mean, how many other moms can make water chicken? Like Dr. J. Can. If you don't know water chicken, it's an ancient Hindi recipe from the foothills of the

Himalayas, and it'll knock your socks off. But it's not just India, it's, mom's got southern cooking under her belt, which makes a killer gumbo. Best gumbo I ever had. She's, she's good at other things too. Like some orange Julius on your birthday. Oh, man, that stuff is good. Dr. Jake can cook anything.

I tell you what, there should be some sort of cooking competition show for moms who aren't professionally trained because my mom would go in there and wipe the floor with the other moms. Even if it was like Gordon Ramsay's mom or Paul Adin or Rachel Ray, my mom would kick ass and not be racist, which is just for the sake of this competition less important, but still a nice bonus to have. I have found personally. Maybe the funniest thing I'll say about my mom is I don't know how this popped into my head, but it's absolutely 100% true. My mom took me to see both attack of the clones and fantastic four rise of the silver surfer in movie

theaters paid tickets paid customers to go see those two films and if you've seen either one of those, you know they are both hot steaming piles of trash. I mean, those movies are just god awful. And they are the types of films where when you see them when you're, I was what, seven when an attacker of the clones came out and probably like 13 when Silver Surfer came out, we'll get a fact check going on that though. When you see them as a kid, you're kind of like, okay, it's interesting, I'm down for it, you know, it's got good action,

I was 12 when Silver Surfer came out. It's got, I'm down for it, you know, it's got good action. I was 12 and Silver Surfer came out. It's got some good action. But when you watch some with a more developed sense of film criticism or just being older than like 14, you quickly realize those, not only are those movies bad, they're really like hard to watch. Boy, those movies are tough, but my mom took me to the movie theater and we watched them anyways, because I wanted to go see them. And that's, I mean, that's the deepest kind of unconditional love I know of.

Taking your kid to see a tack of the clones That's tough to top. The last thing here One of my favorite some of my favorite things about my mom in our mother's day tribute to moms and there are So many things that I could pick from here, but my mom's Well documented now many things that I could pick from here. But my mom's well-documented now educational journey, which is just pretty damn impressive. So I'll try to do it pretty quickly because it's extensive, but if you're ready, we'll go for it right now. So it to me big, exactly. Give it to me big, exactly. So my mom got her a associate's degree from Rock Valley College in 19 and a minute.

And then had four kids and education kind of got put on hold for a while. Then, and she knows the exact years. And I apologize mom because I don't know the exact years. But sometime when I was probably in what high school, she decided to go back to college and get her bachelor's degree from Northern Illinois University, Go Huskies.

But she didn't stop there. Jane continued on and got her master's degree in English something? I don't know, writing, maybe. Mama left a chime in. Maybe we should have got her on the show for our Mother's Day episode. Lessons for next year.

But she didn't stop there. And if you listen to the first five minutes of the show, you know where we're going here in the 24th minute. Jane continued, Dr. Jay continued, and got her EDD, which is like a PhD, but cooler, from Sam Husson State in Texas, without ever even going to Texas. I think, maybe. Who knows, maybe she went once.

That's pretty impressive. Because when I got my master's degree, I had to be on campus. But Dr. J posterizes the competition. We could get up or get out the way. That's a boy god, he'll fuck, call it up, stairs to get there for. We can get up or get out the way. That's my mom, the man, the myth, the legend, the white mamba. That's actually a great name.

White mamba, M-O-M-B-A, dude. If she didn't already have Dr. J Lockdown, White Mamba was gonna be a killer second choice. You know, we had our top 10 horse names show. Maybe we should have our top 10 mom names show. And instead of like Kathy, and Melissa, and Jane, we could have things like Dr. J and the white mom. All right, that was my tribute to my mom, Dr. J on this Mother's Day 2020, a double whammy, it's not only Mother's Day, it's also earning your doctorate day,

which is pretty exciting, at least the graduation ceremony. I will mention, life, when life gives you lemons, God laughs at your plans or however that phrase goes, I get my mom flowers every Mother's day, and that's a tradition. That was an accident. Tradition going back at least four or five years at this point. And usually it goes off without a hitch, but this time around, it went off with a hitch.

The flowers have yet to be delivered. I don't know, they were scheduled to be delivered yesterday and nothing. So no email updates, no nothing, just TBD. So mom, if you're listening to this, you haven't got your flowers yet. Just imagine you got some nice flowers, okay? Okay, let's read some ads here and then I got one other thing,

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This is a man's game. The war's around. The hype is real, the hype is real. The hype is real. All right, shout it to the Samson Q2U series for putting up with all my shenanigans, weekend and week out. And you know what, I think this might be the start

to something new here, with the soundboard action. Maybe there's a, I've never really played around with soundboards. Maybe there was a way to kind of make your own soundboard. I have no idea how that stuff would work from different clips across the internet. I think we could have no idea how that stuff would work. From different clips across the internet, I think we could have some fun with that. You know, because Stacy King is good, but I'm not sure how much of his stuff actually applies to the bean-town podcast, although there are just some fun ones like

this one that you can just use any time. So shout out to the Samsung Q2U series because it's picking up all the good stuff. Jane just texted me live on the podcast. Flowers didn't come today. You may need to check on them and ask for a refund. Classic. Killing it. Nothing says happy mothers say like a refund. Although if it was the refund check from the government,

that'd be cool. There have been murmurs, murmurs, M-U-R-M-U-R-S, which is also the name of that famous Fleetwood Mac album, murmurs of more government check money, maybe, from democratic leadership in the house. I tell you what, here's kind of how I feel about this situation. I don't need more government bailout money at this point, but if it's gonna help other people,

which it certainly would, and we're all getting it, I'm not gonna say no, because I can use that money for, I don't know, putting a down payment on a, a down blanket or something. I don't know, maybe I could buy some. Preachies! It's too good.

I'm getting really good with this. I've only been doing it for half an hour. Man, there are so many go-downs on here. Oh, the golden pipes. I wanna go higher. Okay, I'm done, I promise. Maybe not for the whole episode, but for now. But I don't know what I was talking about.

Whatever, for, oh, government money. But how did I get there? I don't know. I don't know. Let's get back on track here. When God speaks, He uses a Samson. Last thing here, cuts by Q, and I was going to mention the TV guide, but it's worth noting that they still haven't sent me my, what did we get, four copies, three or four? They still haven't sent me my next one. And I don't know what's on television tonight.

And I don't know if, if and when the Conner's is returning Tuesday nights on NBC, ABC, right? Yeah, ABC. I just wanted that, that TV guy with John Goodman on the cover, just smirkin' looking like a dad, but alas. It's not to be. And I still, I legit, like I know I've talked about this infinite amount of times in the podcast in the past, but I don't know what happened.

Like I ordered a year subscription of the TV guide and the first, what, four came. And I've gone back into my emails to like find my confirmations, see if there's somebody that can contact. There's no contact information. The email is really bare bones. It's like, thank you for your order.

Don't respond to this email. There's no website link, nothing. So, I know it's been, what, a year plus at this point, but nothing. So that's depressing. Last ad here, cuts by Q. been what a year plus at this point, but nothing. So that's depressing. Last ad here, cuts by Q. Bob and we've, you know who needs bailout check is cuts by Q, because we haven't had a customer in months.

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Alright last note here, and I'll it short, because I've kind of like done what I wanted to do regarding grief with the situations, let's come to terms, not come to terms, but just like I've expressed the, I think appropriate amount of sadness and emotion that I want to regarding the situation, but if you follow me on social media, you already know this, but on Friday, wriggly the dog moved on to next life,

CNN other life brother, just like what's his name says, unlost, and I was gonna say Darryl, but that's definitely not right. I don't know, not Penny's boat, whoever the husband is or the boyfriend, the guy who's in the hatch, not Charles would more, but Riggly was a wild dog man. We don't know her exact age, probably, I think, generally agreed to be about 14 or 15 right now.

She's been doing it for a while. generally agreed to be about 14 or 15 right now. She's been doing it for a while. She was originally named Lucky, the dog by my grandfather, who had taken her in as I think someone had given Lucky to him that they had found as a stray, I'm fuzzy on the origin story of wriggling. Maybe we need to make a Marvel origin story. But the dog was then, so Grandpa already had a dog, Jack. About that ship, Jack. My name's Romanker Jack.

That was like an Indiana Jones Pirates of the Caribbean crossover. Wow, things are getting funky here on Mother's Day. Grandpa then gifted the dog to us, and I don't think anyone knew she was gonna live that long. But she did. She was a very interesting dog, extremely neurotic. Like Tommy Palmezi, if you know the Fred Armies and SNS sketch One man play. It's a pretty fun one go find it online very neurotic a

Big Barker barked at everything especially when she still was able to hear and Not not great at showing affection. The biggest thing was if you get too close, a lot of dogs to show affection will kinda lick your face, and it's kinda gross, but it's also kinda cute. Riggly didn't lick your face, she snapped at your face, like a snapping turtle, and not a full bite, not a really a painful bite

as much as just like kind of a bite. And the worst part about this, not only does it, it's not fun to get kind of like pseudo bitten by your dog on the nose, but Rick Lee had the worst breath, I think I've ever smelled from an animal. And I've woken up next to my sister before, so that should tell you something.

I'm sorry sister, I couldn't help it. Sister is known for that breath. Woo, that morning bread. Yikes. Riggly's was worse than that. If that gives you any indication of how I felt about it, it was so bad. I don't know how it was possible.

How such foul odors could be emitted from one tiny little dog. It was incredible. Riggly was a good adventure partner. We would go on long walks together, especially the Forrest Preserve. There's one classic instance where we went to the Forrest Preserve, just her and I around, around dusk. And we spotted a doe, a deer, a female deer. And maybe in a foolish, I don't know, probably like 17-year-old

decided to letter off the leash. Because, you know, wriggly, you know, well, hunt chipmunks and stuff in the backyard. So I say, let's go, let's go big game hunt and dog. And so I letter off the backyard. So I said, let's go, let's go big game hunting dog. And so I let her off the leash. And boy, it was scary. I couldn't find her for about half an hour. She had completely just bolted, taken off after the deer into the brush. And you know, she's pretty little dog. And really it's also a type of dog that like could have been or was very like a loof absent-minded at times. Wasn't always that interested in, you know, coming back to your

staying by your side. And so she was just very content to be by herself wandering the forest after she inevitably lost track of the deer. It took me a long time and it was getting dark to find her. It was very scary, but eventually I did. She didn't seem to care that she'd been gone for half an hour. And that was the last time I ever let her hunt a deer. But Riggs was a good dog. She really liked the beach.

She would get beach zoomies and just run sprint. And like she did this in the back here too, but very fast concentric circles. She loved to do that. I don't really know why, but she wasn't a traditional dog. She didn't play fetch and she wasn't great at affection, but she was our dog and she's a real dumbass, but a good dog nonetheless. So, that was,

Riggly the dog, however run, she was very well known in my friend's circles and thanks in part to my sister and my parents who are always taking fun pictures of her that I could share on social media and with friends, etc. So good run for Riggs and we'll see you in the next life. So that's what we had for this week. Our Mother's Day edition on the bean town podcast.

I hope you enjoyed. If you have any questions, comments, or concerns, you can email us bean town podcast at Yahoo.com or you can can email us, beantownpodcastatyaahu.com, or you can tweet at us, we're at beantowncast, my personal Twitter is at white buns, you can message us on Facebook, send a candy gram, a land shark, however you wanna get in touch with us,

you know how to do it. So, that's what we had for you. I'm gonna queue up the Tishmingle blues. No piano today over here on my end, but there will be some incoming weeks I promise. Or if that's a bummer for you to hear, then there's always the fast forward button. Okay. Thanks everyone for listening. Happy Mother's Day to my mom, probably the best mom I ever had. Dr. J, posturizing on the competition since 19 she would not want me to share her age on the podcast. Okay, that's what we got for you. Let's get that music going to play us out. And I will

check in on you next week. I'm going to play this. nd nd nd nd nd nd nd nd nd nd Thank you.