Bedros Keuilian Podcast Show - 003. Redefining Success and Happiness

Episode Date: October 18, 2022

Success and happiness are NOT the same thing. Does this sound like you? You’re successful when it comes to your finances.. …but you’re UNHAPPY in the areas of fitness, family, and fun? What’s the point of being successful in one area, but then unhappy and unfulfilled in the others? Today’s episode is about not fusing success and happiness TOGETHER, but also how you can win in ALL areas. Let us know in the comments what your biggest takeaway was in this episode!

Listen, don't get me wrong. Money ain't bad. Money is really good. In fact, I often talk about make a lot of money and do a lot of good with it. But money alone does not make you successful. And that's why we need to address success and happiness because, truth be told, success and happiness are not the same. Welcome to the Bedroft's Coolie and show.

Back when Q was rolling with Lorenzo and a Benzo, I was banging with a gang of instrumental. Hey, Ed. Do you know how many different fluids the human body has? I'm going to tell you. You think about snot. You think about spit. You think about semen. You think about sweat.

You think about like oils coming out of glands. Like, when I think about what the human body secretes, we're pretty fucking nasty. But we're not here to talk about that, friends. We're here to talk about the Bedrose Coolean show. And today we're going to talk about. redefining success and happiness. And Leighton, I know you're laughing, but the truth is the weird shit

that runs through my mind, man, right? It's like when you're sweating, you're working out, you're sweating. You're just like, damn, all right. Well, I'm sweaty. But then you realize like, shit, I'm also oily. And then you realize, like, there's a lot of shit. And then there's like urine and poop that comes.

Like, we really, like, discharge a lot of stuff. When you think about what a human is, we discharge a lot of stuff. fluids, oils. We're like a fucking broken down jalopy. That's just always like leaking shit. But anyways, we're here. because we're going to talk about redefining success and happiness.

And I think that's an important thing to talk about because, well, as we're 14 classes in, by the time as we're filming this episode here, the Bedros-Colian show, we're 14 classes into the project. And what I've found, as men have come through the project, hundreds of them so far, is that many of them, I would say over 80% of the men go, hey, I am saying. successful and then they go, but I'm depressed. I'm successful, but I'm anxious. I'm successful, but I'm alone. I'm successful, but I'm not happy. And I realize that, well, wait a minute, bro, you're not successful after all. It's like, oh, tell me how you're successful. And every single one of

them undoubtedly tell me about the business that they have that generates a lot of money that gives them financial security, but they don't have emotional security. They don't have a body that they're proud of, health that they believe in, a relationship that they can consider to be solid. And I'm like, fuck, man, we've got to start redefining success and happiness in life. Because I don't know, I guess maybe this comes from the 40s when I think about it. And you look back, success was all about, especially coming out of the Great Depression and then going into the war, you know, people coming back from World War II.

success was really about like, can I make enough money to own a house, the American dream? I want to own a house with a picket fence, white picket fence, and I got my 2.3 kids and a dog and a wife. And, you know, we've all heard the term, keeping up with the Joneses. And then, you know, the Joneses live next to you. And so they have a nicer car and you have a nicer car. And so we all strive for more money. And listen, don't get me wrong. Money ain't bad.

Money is really good. In fact, I often talk about make a lot of money and do a lot of good with it. But money alone does not make you successful. And that's why we need to address success and happiness because, truth be told, success and happiness are not the same, right? Like I knew a dude. We'll keep him nameless for this episode. But this dude was like, man, I'm making good money in my business. but I'm not happy.

I can't sleep well because my mind's always swirling and thinking about what I have to do when I wake up tomorrow. I'm always operating out of this. He didn't say FUD, but I'm going to use FUD, fear, uncertainty and doubt. That's what Fudd stands for, right?

Because, you know, he has this fear of the uncharted, unknown as an entrepreneur, right? You're going to unknown territory. And then he's got these doubts within. And these limiting beliefs. leaves and those things will keep a man or will man awake at night.

So while he was doing financially well, he was not happy. In fact, he was pretty miserable and it bled into his relationship. And as we got to talking, I'm like, dude, what, what do you like to do? It's like, man, I would just love to work in a company like yours. I was like, wait, really? He goes, yeah, but I just feel like freedom comes from entrepreneurship. I'm like, no, bro, freedom is just a byproduct of like a state of mind. like you could literally make good money in a career and then tighten the belt and make some great

investments in crypto and then rental properties and then um you know investments in in other things like whether they're 401ks or their annuities or life insurances that pay you back and before you know it you've amassed wealth over a decade but at least you have a sense of happiness and you have peace of mind and he's like holy shit i never thought of it that. And so first I'm here to tell you that success and happiness could be two very different things, right? They're not the same. What I want to do is bring them together on this episode. And we're going to talk about that right now. And we're going to start at this place. I believe that you have to be physically jacked and financially stout. And that is the beginning of success. Right? Because here's why.

When I say physically jacked, that doesn't mean like, you know, like veins pop up. and out and fucking abs bulging out. Like my buddy, Michael Hearn, he's a walking anatomical chart and good for him, right? But it might mean being proud of yourself when you look at yourself naked in the fucking mirror, right? Then the money that you have makes you feel better, right? If I'm happy with the way I look naked in the mirror, then the money becomes the frosting on top because I don't have to go, well, man, I'm rich, but I'm embarrassed to take off my

shirt. I don't want people to see my love handles. I don't want people to feel a certain way when they see me with my shirt off. But if I can comfortably take my shirt off, know that I'm physically fit, mentally and emotionally stable, there's that component of success and happiness as well. Like, how often do we see people that might be fit, that might be financially well off? But they're a fucking mental and emotional disaster. You cannot tell me that. person is successful and happy. And so what's it going to take for you to get your mental, physical, and emotional hygiene in order so that you can start making more money so that it will bleed into your relationship. And then you can be a person of greater income, impact,

and influence. I think that is success. And guys, I want to share this with you because, again, you know, the idea of get jacked and make a lot of money, kind of works. It's a simple mantra, but here's why I say get jack and make a lot of money and you'll be fine. Anyone that is willing to work out hard consistently and eat right throughout the day to be jacked, that's automatic self-development. Like there are a few things in life that have a byproduct of self-development without being a self-development course, right? Like being an entrepreneur is the highest level of self-development. There's no doubt about that. If you decide to start a business and be an entrepreneur that builds a business that is going to be profitable and has employees and has the day-to-day problems that businesses do, you will very quickly begin to develop great personal discipline.

You will begin to learn a lot about yourself, your ability to take risks, your ability to make decisions, your ability to problem solve, your ability to lead, your ability to communicate. All those things are tested and improved. if you decide to be an entrepreneur and compete in the free market, right? So certain things have a very high capacity for personal development and growth that have nothing to do with personal development and growth. One of those things is personal starting a business, right? Like starting your own personal business, not with someone, not having equity in a business where someone else does it work.

Like you starting a business from the ground up, you will meet. the highest version of yourself and you will also meet the ugliest version of yourself like you will meet the person within that has doubt that has fear that has uncertainty that that has limiting beliefs but the idea is that as you keep pushing through all of the things that entrepreneurship brings to you that you become the higher level version of yourself well the same thing goes for working out and getting jacked I'm not talking about doing a you know six-month sprint where I'm gonna work out hard and eat clean and then you know

do a show, but then I'm going to be a fat, sloppy fuck after that. I'm talking about consistently maintaining a lean athletic body, which tells society that you're eating right, you're managing your sleep and your stress and your rest, and you're working out pretty damn consistently. That person who goes to the gym and works out consistently, that person who is willing to do another repetition, another set to go to that place in their head that they need to go to to,

to press that weight, to pull that weight, to take another step in the walking lunges or to add that other mile that they need to. That person is developing at a very high rate of speed in terms of mental and emotional capacity. It's as simple as that. Like physical fitness is one of the highest forms of personal development, just like entrepreneurship is one of the highest forms of personal development. And so when we talk about redefining success and happiness, like how successful is someone and or how happy is someone,

they're making good money, but they're not sleeping well at night because they're afraid of the bottom falling out. They're afraid of making a bad decision and the competition taking over. They're afraid of losing a team member, an employee. Like, how does that make you successful or happy? Or what if you have all this money and you're scooting around in a private jet and you have all these cars and good for you and I have a lot of cars and I have a fucking, interestingly enough, I have a garage built in the back of my gym and the intention was that I would have my own private gym that I would build in this building that I bought across the street from the

Chino State Prison, right, BK Strength, my private gym and me and my team members here get to work out there and my coaching clients. And I was like, I'm going to build this garage in the back that I could fit easily 15 to 16 cars, right? Because, you know, those jacks where those lifts where you can lift the car up and then park another car underneath. So I did the math and I should be able to fit like 15 in there.

Well, guess what happens next? We create the project. And man, I made it so good too because I was like, I'm going to put two double doors that go right from the gym into the garage. And these double doors have glass in it. So I wanted to be able to do. just see my, look, I love cars, man. I've always loved cars and good for me. Like, that's my

vice, right? That's the thing that I splurge on when I meet milestones in my life and I hit goals. And so then the project comes around in 2019. I'm like, fuck, man, I can barely fit one car here. So like, you know, a car stacked in my house. I got a car stacked at other places. A friend has one of my classic cars, 72 Chevel that has auto shop, auto body shop. But that's neither here nor there. The point I'm trying to make to you is, is that if success and happiness is possessions to you, but you're not sleeping well, then you failed.

If success and happiness is possessions and being fit, but you have a shitty relationship that you're just like on the edge of falling apart out of this marriage, you're not happy. And so my challenge once again, guys, is that if I were to coach you, if I were to mentor you, if I were to challenge you,

I would tell you that the person who has the highest level of success and happiness is the person that has their relationships squared away because they're constantly pouring into their relationships. I'll give you examples, like a consistent date night every week, right? A consistent date night every week with your honey goes a long way. And this goes for guys and gals, man. Like, what's up with you? Like, why aren't you doing this? What's stopping you? because if you have a business or you have hobbies

and your hobbies or your business take a priority over your honey. Soon your honey starts thinking that your hobby or your business is the other woman. You see what I mean? Like they start acting as though you're cheating on them and you're like, damn it, woman, I'm just like making money

so we can have financial freedom so we can be successful. But to her success and to you, success should be that you get to spend time with the person that you chose. Right? And think about this, man. My therapist, Kevin Downing, he says, he says, look, you didn't choose your parents. You didn't choose your siblings. You didn't really even choose your kids, right? When you think about it. Like you were born to those parents, whoever your brother and sister are, you were born with them, came out of the same womb, but you didn't have a choice in their personality and who they are. You didn't have a choice in your kids. You know, hopefully you have great kids. But if you have kids that are assholes, well, guess what? You know, that's what you got. You did have a choice in one person in your life, and that's who you chose as a spouse. And so wouldn't success mean that you and your spouse have a strong and healthy relationship,

like a meaningful friendship, to know that if you are in the battle of life, that they are in the trench with you and they have your back, that to me is a byproduct of success. So what if we can take fitness, mental, physical, and emotional fitness, and financial success and freedom and meld it with a healthy relationship, marriage, kids, friends who feel loved and respected and heard, could we then redefine success and happiness?

I think we could, right? And so that's my challenge to you, friends, and if you are willing to do those things, then you will find yourself in a great place. I tell you like 80% of the people that come, the guys that come through the project, within that first hour when I interview them, like, hey, who are you? Where are you from? Why did you come here?

Like, oh, I'm successful. I have this business. It makes $300 million a year. It makes $300 million a year. It makes $10 million a year. Whatever, right? Great. And you go, but I'm unhappy.

But my marriage is falling apart. But my kids hate me. But my, and then you fill in the blank. You know, I tried killing myself. Well, why did you try killing yourself, man? Oh, because I just feel like depressed and I don't feel like I have any purpose. So wouldn't we say that then success must be a byproduct of purpose? If you're making great money, you have an awesome relationship, you are fit,

but you feel like you are not living your calling, your purpose. Shouldn't you start developing what that purpose is? Because make no mistake about it, life comes to us in different phases. And as you get older, more mature, the way you think and your wisdom changes, you might realize that, man, I'm called to do something different. In my 20s, I thought I just wanted to be a personal trainer because I wanted to help more people lose weight and get fit and have a positive mental attitude.

Because in high school, man, in my senior year of high school, when I lost the weight, and it was my friend Dave Sanborn that introduced me to the gym, and I lost the weight. I came back my senior year, like 30 pounds lighter, and I had more self-esteem, more confidence, and of course I look better, right? My goal was to ask out this girl Nakaya to the prom, and I never asked Nikaya to the prom, because I didn't have the balls too. But goddamn it, I looked good.

And so I was like, man, when I get out of college here, I'm going to become a personal trainer and help more, or when I get out of high school, I'm going to help more people get fit like I did because they're self-esteem, their confidence, and they're going to be healthy. This is awesome, right? I thought that's all I want to do my whole life. and I was happy with it for many years until I decided that I wanted to do it on a higher scale. Then that required me opening up more gyms.

So I became a different version of myself. And now my purpose was, can I scale my impact, right? And then it went from that to can I scale it by hundreds and thousands through fit body boot camp, our franchise, right? Can I do this worldwide? And then I realized what I love most about personal training and helping people get fit is really the mental edge that they develop.

You know this. We talked about this. When you get fit, you develop this mental edge. Because again, to be able to push yourself over and over again through sets and reps of discomfort of lactic acid building up in your muscles and you feel that burn, you're like, I don't have to be here, but I choose to be here. Right. No one's making you stay at the gym.

That is a high level of personal development. That is a high level of personal discipline. And because of that, you become a higher level person. And I was like, man, I really love helping people meet their. higher level self. So while the fitness part is great, I think fitness is just a gateway to a better relationship, to higher self-esteem and to the higher self. So I want to start doing that. So you see how my purpose on this planet, my calling on this planet continue to evolve. And now I'm 48 and I realize my purpose, my passion, my calling is to serve men, right? Specifically, like through the project

to serve men. Because for some reason, you know, the universe, God, source, whoever has made men feel comfortable to reach out to me and say, hey, man, here's my problem in life, here's what I'm experiencing. Like, what would you do? And I'm like, bro, I may not have the answer, but I understand you. And I understand that, you know, this journey's tough. And sometimes we feel like an island. And sometimes you feel like you're all alone.

And no one's really showing appreciation for all the work you're doing. And times you just feel like I'm the breadwinner and that's it. And if I wasn't making money and providing housing and food, then fucking people wouldn't even want me around. You feel that way, right? And they're like, fuck, man, exactly. Bro, I can tell you that you're not alone. And I can also tell you that at some point, those things you were doing,

you were grateful for that job. You were grateful for that business, right? Yeah, you're grateful for that wife, those kids who now you feel are entitled. Yeah. So what if maybe, just maybe, your calling has changed, but you haven't made the change, right? So when I say that we need to redefine success and happiness, understand that as you grow, not only by age, by personal development, you will find yourself with a new calling, a new purpose.

And if you don't attack that calling or purpose, you will find yourself anxious, depressed, overwhelmed, and living a life of, you know, sadness, even though you've got a family, like from the outside, it's like, man, this guy should be happy. he's got a family he's got a great wife he's got a home he's got a business or a career but you're like man i've outgrown that and so always always always chase the next level of calling and purpose so i'm 48 now i don't know what the 58 or the 68 year old version of me is going to be doing what i can tell you is i'm so connected to my radiance right i'm so connected to my inner self my consciousness that I'm constantly listening and asking questions.

Like, hey, self, what else should I be doing? And, of course, the Radiant says, serving men. Like, cool, all right. And so I do. That doesn't mean that I have to stop my other stuff. No, I plugged in a CEO into FitBody Boot Camp. Bryce is an amazing CEO, FitBody Boot Camp, and it grows and it thrives. And we've got a great leader in Truling Supplements, and it grows and it thrives.

And Joan is the leader of my coaching program. And it grows and it thrives. and I get to do what my calling is now in this phase of life. And I feel more successful and happy because of it. So that is my challenge to you, friends. Create success and happiness in every category of your life. And as we say at the project, in your family, in your faith. And faith could be higher power.

It could be faith in yourself and confidence, self-esteem, right? And then, of course, fitness and your finances. And if you have all four, those squared away family faith fitness and finances and you are truly successful you are truly doing the work in those areas then you will have happiness and fulfillment the fifth fbomb so that's my challenge you friends i hope this landed in your heart i hope this landed on your mind i hope you're able to think about figuring out what your next level of purpose and calling is and whatever it is attack it like a fucking madman or madwoman because you're

not guaranteed tomorrow neither am i much love talk soon what's the difference between me and you back when cue was rolling with Lorenzo and a benzo i was banging with a gang of instrumental