Bedros Keuilian Podcast Show - 004. Cancel Culture & The Fate Of Masculinity

Episode Date: October 25, 2022

The truth is I love all episodes of the BK show But I gotta tell ya folks, THIS is one of my favorites segments of the new show. This is when I get to interact with you all and answer YOUR questions. So today I’m sitting across from my good friend Lheighton, who goes through my DM’s on Instagram and pulls your questions for me to answer! Go ahead and send me your questions on IG and enjoy the first edition of Whatcha Wanna Know!!

Stop taking pride in your pasty, gelatinous body that's shaped like a fucking pair. Stop being broke and living off credit cards. Stop being such an emotional and mental wreck. They're not looking to raise boys. They're looking to partner with men. Welcome to the Bedroft's Coolie and show. Back when Q was rolling with Lorenzo and a Benzo, I was banging with a gang of instrumental. All right, Leighton.

How you feel, man? I'm good, man. How you doing, B? I'm doing great. If you're wondering who that is, friends, that is my man Layton. And Layton, how long have you and I known each other? Well, so I know you since I was 11. I'm 26 now, so 15 years.

That's crazy. 11. What many people don't know about Layton. And you got to follow them on social media. What's your social media? Because they got to see how you skate. At King Cook on Instagram and TikTok and wherever else. At King Cook.

This dude can skate like on a skateboard like no one's business. But we're not here to talk about skating. we're here to talk about humanity. And this segment of the Bedros-Colian show is called What You Want to Know. And this was something that I always thought about doing on the Empire show, right? Because people always send in messages and I'd be like, all right, what do you want to know? And then we would bake it into the show notes. But I thought it'd be cool, man, if you were sitting across the table and obviously you're always in my DMs and people are sending questions.

And so here's everyone's chance. to figure out the answers or how I see things from my perspective on the questions that humanity has. So, welcome to the Bedros-Cool-N-Show. My name is Bedros-Culian, and that is Layton Cook sitting across for me. And this segment is the What You Want to Know. And listen, guys, there is no advertisement on the Bedros-Cleon show. There are no sponsors. The way you pay me is through sharing the episodes, giving it reviews, and of course,

with your attention that I value because I know you could be spending your time elsewhere, but you're spending it here to get coached up, leveled up, and to become the higher version of yourself. So with that said, Layton, what do the folks want to know? So of course, we've got a bunch of questions, man, but, you know, it depends. You want to go really hard on the first one? Let's go. You sure? All right. First one was talking about cancel culture. All right. So need not say who's going through the fire right now. I think you know how I'm alluding to, but they asked you, they say with the platform that you have, are you ever scared of being? being canceled for anything that you put out there.

So that's a good question, right? Because like, and the reason that's a good question too is because how often did we have to deal with this in the past? It wasn't something that we dealt with until like the last two or three years. And I think cancel culture is something that's going to backfire on us because what we are telling people to do is to pasteurize or how to. homogenize everyone's speech. Like, man, you better speak like me. You better have the same thoughts as me. Or at least here's the spectrum of the thoughts and feelings that you can have.

If it's off spectrum, I'm going to have to feel a certain way, be angry, be offended, and then cancel you. Well, guess what that does? That creates a culture of socialism, meaning we all have to be the same. And if you're wondering, I come from the socialist republic of the Soviet Union. We escape the Soviet Union. man. And so that is scary to me because socialism, communism dictates thought patterns and they control media. They control how you're supposed to think and feel. And the great country of the United States was based on the Constitution. And constitutional offers us the very first amendment, which is the right to free speech. And while I know people get canceled and I know Joe Rogan,

was attacked for using the N-word, you know, many years ago. It's funny. Again, proof that a decade and a half ago when he was using it, even with black people in the studio with him, and he was like, whether he's quoting a movie or whatever, no one got their panties in a bunch. But today, in the last two years, they take a montage of all the ways he used it, and they try to cancel him. Now, there's certain people like Joe Rogan and I believe Elon Musk that are uncancelable.

the Teflon Don. But there's others that get canceled. And unfortunately, what ends up happening is we end up neutering our constitutional right of free speech because where does a slippery slope stop? Where do we decide? How do we decide like who's cancelable or not? I mean, you look at Andrew Sultz, the comedian. He wanted to do a Netflix special.

Netflix approached him. And Netflix is like, hey, man, it'd be awesome to have you do a Netflix special. He's like, cool. And then all of a sudden, as he comes up with his material, and part of the contract was, I think they paid him a lot of money. If I'm not mistaking, Netflix paid him a lot of money up front, kind of like a book publishing deal. Like he got an advance.

And y'all feel free to leave notes at the bottom of this in the comment section, if I'm wrong on this and leave me the correct answers. But Andrew Schultz was in a position to make a lot of money from Netflix, but they go, hey, we want to see your outline for your comedy show. And then all of a sudden, they started to say, well, you can't have this, you can't talk about that, and that thing we have to neuter and take out. And he's like, wait a minute,

there's only one person that could have me change my comedy, and that is the audience. And they do that, whether they laugh or not. And if they don't laugh, I take out the content. If they don't laugh, I take out the content. If they do laugh, I leave the content in. And he decided, I'm going to do my own thing, and he gave them their advance back,

and he decided to do it on his own platform. So what we're going to see through cancel culture is a softer humanity, a weaker, more fragile humanity because people are going to be so sensitive. They're going to get overly offended by so many things that soon the people that are canceling are going to end up canceling themselves because then you end up painting yourself in a box. There's a tiny little spectrum of things I can talk about. And if I can't talk about those things, then I can't talk and express myself. Well, sooner or later you're human, you want to express yourself, whether it's through crude humor

or through like you're hanging out with the boys or the girls. you bust a funny joke that's funny for your social circle, but someone was recording it, now it goes public and then boom, you're canceled. On the flip side, is there a place where, you know,

like it is worth canceling people? I don't know. I certainly, if Hitler was alive today, I wouldn't want him to have access. That was going to ask you. That was going to be my follow up question. So is there a point or something that someone can do

that actually deserves? Like, you know what, that, you can't be around. We can't have that. I think there is, man. And while I think there is, I think we're too easy to cancel. I think humanity knows, like, who truly is an evil person. If Hitler was alive today and he, like, pops open a TikTok and an IG account, which would be funny as fuck, right? With his mustache, one, I'd watch it for a little bit. And then I would like probably report it because I'm like, motherfucker's out of his mind, but just to see him going off about his belief system is crazy.

But then again, what about freedom of speech, right? So I'm conflicted. I don't know the answer to where do we draw the line in canceling. I do know that we are cancel happy and that is going to backfire and that is also eroding what is our First Amendment. And that's pretty damn scary. Yeah. What you got.

So the next one was someone asked about the project. So now a couple questions on the project. He said, what are some things you tell the guys in the process? project before they ring the bell. Like if someone's struggling in life, how do you push them to keep going? Yeah, that's a good question. So if someone's suffering during the project, and by the way, it doesn't matter if you're fully like athletic and you know parkour and you got like your chiseled, your cardio was totally dialed in. Everyone suffers physically at the project because instructor Steve and instructor Ray bring the thunder. Like Ray has top buds, former Navy SEAL,

An absolute programming savage and Steve, an angry Marine who just brings the pain during the MDK project. But my job is to kind of play the Papa Bear, right? Which is to let them break these guys down. Because in the process of breaking these guys down, what ends up typically happening is here's why. If these guys, imagine 35 strangers coming together, right? Okay. We know one thing. We're all guys and we all want to level up to our higher self.

Some of us may have addictions and vices. Some of us may be successful in one area of life, but not the other. But we're all here to kind of level up. But right now we're strangers. It's our number one of 75. We're strangers. So Stephen Ray have to create this scenario of adversity of suffering where every guy helps each other.

And this is why strangers within the first 10 hours end up calling each other brother because if I'm crawling through the pit and I've got my sledgehammer and my pack and my canteen and you've got yours, I might be an evolution beast for the pit and you're not. I'm going to come up and help you along

as I see you looking at that bell, right? And then at the next evolution, maybe it's the truck pull, maybe it's the ice bath. I'm like, oh shit, I don't want to go in this ice bath. You could see that I'm really eyeballing that bell and I want to hit that bell,

ring it and just be done with this thing. I'm hoping that you're going to say some words to me. They're going to give me some courage and allow me to go into that ice bath. Well, now my job is to be Papa Bear. And the Papa Bear of this thing is really, I see guys who are looking to quit

and they're looking at the belt. Doesn't matter if they're running, hiking, crawling through the pit in the ice bath. When you say that, I just got you off, like, what do you see before that? Because you could, I'm sure you can tell just by looking at them from 30 feet away. You're like, something's up.

Like, what is it that you see in their eyes or what is it their attitude, their posture? that you can tell this dude is is given up you could see defeat like it's it's a i've been around long enough and i've been around some harsh conditions um i've had to pull a gun out of someone's hand who's going to whack himself and right before he pulled the gun out of his pocket um i saw that look in his eyes of defeat of hopelessness like this i need this pain to stop in my life is what i saw um i see that look in the eyes of the guys of the guys that are going through the project.

And I know that that's defeat. I know that's feeling of hopelessness. I know that's a desire to quit. And we make it easy. Ray's a fucking asshole at this for doing this, but it's good. And he brings the bell. He makes sure that the junior cadre bring the bell out to everywhere we go.

It doesn't matter for it at the beach. Doesn't matter if we're at the top of the hills. Like Ray is making sure the bell is there and convenient to be rung. And so I'll just go up to these guys and I'll acknowledge what they're going through. Hey man, right now this evolution, feels hopeless, huh? Like, it's a 500-yard pit that you're crawling through, and already, it's 2 a.m.

right now. And instructor Steve has made your restart three times. You don't know if he's going to make you restart 30 more times. Like, it feels hopeless, doesn't it? And they go, yes, sir, yeah. I go, so I can understand why you have that look in your eyes of like, I just want to quit and ring the bell because Steve keeps telling you can't seem to do anything right. And it sucks. And there's thorns in this pit and there's you know you're scraping your body up yep i go well what if what if you decided to i'm going to go through this evolution not think about quitting and on the next evolution if things don't go well then i'll quit i go can i get your commitment on that they'll go sure and i'll just so i don't try and make them flip the switch and go from defeated eyes or

sad eyes to like i got this i'm not trying to breathe a beast into them in that moment I'm just like, can you just promise me that you will finish this evolution? And if you can't, on the next evolution, you have my permission to quit if it gets hard. Of course, on the next evolution, I'll say the same thing, and soon they realize the pattern of life, which is work through the pain, and it will end,

and then the next evolution will be better. And if you just keep doing that, you chip away to 75 hours, and all of life is that. I could either stop in the depth of the tunnel tunnel where it's darkest. Or I could just keep pushing through just one more step. Just one more step. I'll quit after I take the next step. I'll quit after I take the next step. And before you know what, there's light at the end of the tunnel. And you're like, you know what? Instructor Steve is not sending me back. I think we're about to get to the towers and we'll be done with this evolution.

And then all of a sudden there's hope and I see this light in their eyes. And humanity is the same way, man. We will all want to slow down when we're going through the toughest part. And the project, we encourage men to speed up during the hardest part because that light is just around the bend but you got to get around the bend to see it. Right. Okay. This one is one that we get a lot. It's asking about the price of the project.

This person was complaining about the $15,000. I don't have it. Why is it this much? I can join the military and get paid to get yelled at and whatever else. So what do you tell the person who's complaining about paying their $15,000, the investment?

for the project. Yeah, listen, I've got a lot of friends that are former military from every special operations branch of the military. Some I mentor, some are just your friends of mine. And I can tell you this, and they tell me firsthand

that it is, any boot camp or any training is unlike the project. Now, what we show on the project on social media, this is why the project is the most misunderstood thing on the planet. What we show on the social medias is a sexy part. And so it's like, man, I get to pull a truck

and crawl through a pit and carry logs with the team and go through beach torture and Navy SEALs going to put me that and holy crap like ice bath and a shooting experience and then oh my God that's freaking awesome. I'm willing to be tested. I'm willing to challenge myself. I'm willing to push through.

Well yeah, that sounds a lot like boot camp in military boot camp, doesn't it? And it's like, why would I pay 15 grand for that when I could join the military and get paid to go through that? Right. Well, because the part we don't show you is the deep work that we do

because maybe I'm wrong. but in the military, they're not having you journal and talk about the worst traumatic thing that happened to you and how that shows up in your marriage and what vices that's forced you to take on. What addictions of alcohol, drugs, infidelity, pornography, overeating, overconsumption, of soothing and shielding ourselves emotionally and mentally because of the pain that we're in. The upper limiting, that every time we hit this upper upper limit of success, we set a breaking through the glass ceiling, we slide back through self-suffer. sabotage. The military does not teach that because it's not the military's job to help you break through in your relationship, in your business, in your physical fitness, in your relationship with your family, your leadership, your purpose in life. But it is ours. That is what we do with the project. That's the unsexy part where all the camera guys go away. We've got four camera dudes at all

times. They go away. The junior instructors go away. The medics go out of sight, out of within earshot. And it is just us five instructors and the candidates. And this is where the journaling works. Like if I could distill the project down, it would actually be eight hours long. And that eight hours is done over a 75 hour period, like two hours here, three hours there, another two hours there. Right. But that eight hours is going through the toxic cognitions. Like what led you to having a shitty life to making bad decisions to constantly see a pattern of self-sabotized?

What led you through three divorces? What led you through having a relationship so fucked up that your kid attempted suicide and you had to take your kid off the banister with the rope around their head? Like, do they fucking teach that at a boot camp in the military? They don't. And so when people go, hey, it costs $15,000. What does it cost you if you don't heal through that trauma? What does it cost you if your relationship doesn't improve? What does it cost you if your kids hate you?

What does it cost you if you reach your deathbed and you have regret? What does it cost you if you stay a drifter, a mediocre coward, instead of breaking through your limiting beliefs and turning your traumas into superpowers so that you can dominate in every area of your life? That is what the project is, but we don't document that on camera or audio or any of that. And I will never talk about the details of the toxic cognition piece because it is sacred, man. And no one will ever do that for men, but for men to get there. to feel vulnerable, to talk about that,

adrenaline about that openly and cry and we're crying and they're crying is a fucking emotional thing. Layton, we have to put them through suffering and torture in a place of like just suspending disbelief and getting you so tired and exhausted for you to go like, fuck it. I will sit here and I will spill my guts,

pour my guts out, and be vulnerable and open because the guys to my left and right helped me through the last 10 evolution and I help them. Without them, I wouldn't have been able to finish all these different evolutions. I love these guys. They're here to look out for me.

for the first time ever I'm going to talk about the traumas that took place in my life that create all these addictions, vices, limiting beliefs, self-sabotage, and that is what you cannot buy. The $15,000 is a drop in the bucket versus the cost of not healing and growing as a man, as a husband, as a leader, as an entrepreneur, as a father. And that is what no military can provide that we do. Perfect, man. You got to wake him up, got to let them know.

That actually goes perfectly to the next question because another guy asked about the project, but he asked, you know, obviously he sees all the promotion that we do around it. And he's like, he wants to know, do you believe that every man has to do something like the project to become a quote unquote real man? No, no. The project is not for every man. I think every man should test himself. Every man should challenge himself. Every man should see the beauty in their strength.

Every man should be able to see the ripples in their muscles. Every man should be able to see what their physical speed is, what their endurance is, what their strength. strength is. But if you're willing to go out and do that on your own, fucking A, man, awesome, right? Do it. But if you're not, here's the project that's there for you. And by the way, every man should go and say, look, man, like in my case, I was molested as a kid, man. I was molested by two older boys. And for many years, all the way up to the age of 38, being molested by two older boys left a scar on me that I can't trust men. It made me feel unworthy, unlovable, broken, ashamed, confused.

How the hell am I going to be a decent father or a husband or a leader and entrepreneur when I'm having all those feelings of unworthiness and unlove, right? And so I've literally, it took me five years to put myself through my own project. I worked with Kevin Downing for 16 months, a therapist every week. I read every book on self-help and self-discipline. I decided that I was just going to work out. Dude, I would work out so hard. I would hike the eucalyptus loop over and over and over again until that

tears would just start coming out where the body would just, my body just became a vehicle and consciousness left and explored all the different pains. And I didn't realize I had done that thing for like six hours straight. And I would just go to my truck, drink water, take a piss, and then do the eucalyptus loop again. If you don't know what the eucalyptus loop is, it is here in Chino Hills. It's 3.1 miles of six hills, very high hills, very steep hills, that we take the project guys through. I've gone through every evolution. I've buried myself in a body bag, you know, and I had my wife zip that thing up and just laid there and feeling like, all right,

every one of us are going to be laying in a body bag at some point. Select few of us get to actually step out of a body bag and go, all right, man, if I had a second chance, what does life look like? Right. So I have these dark ideas that come to me, and I'm like, that's going to be a project evolution.

But I do every single one. It just took me five years to come up with it. But I did the work with the therapist. I did the hard shit. I remember doing squats and leg presses over and over and over again for so long I just started to fall apart emotionally, crying. And that's because you go through so much pain and suffering and adversity that you're just

like you succumb to pain and you enter that other room and you meet your other self, your higher self. And the higher self begins to heal and begins to soothe you and begins to say, hey, man, you're a good person. And now I realize those two older boys, they were fucked up. I was just a young kid, a young boy, four or five years old looking up to them as a rite of passage, like all young kids look up to their older dads, their older brothers, the boys in the community, older boys in the community, those two boys took advantage of something sacred,

you know, that they should have mentored me. They should, but instead they took advantage of that. But I felt unlovable, I felt broken, I felt ashamed, I felt confused, I felt unworthy. And I carried that with me, man. And so, you know, does every guy have to go through the project to be a real man? No, I challenge you to do what I did. But if you're not willing, to pony up the money and then do the project, graduate it. And by the way, the project, the 75 hours, that's just a ticket into the brotherhood. The brotherhood is where we are a group of like-minded men, hundreds of us who focus on our family and our faith and our fitness and our finances so that we have a life of fulfillment, the four F-bombs that lead to the fifth F-bomb

fulfillment. And it's in that brotherhood that you are all of a sudden surrounded by like-minded fighter jets. It's in that brotherhood that you have dudes from your own class that you can call up and you're never you're never going to feel like an island again you can call up and be like hey bro here's what's bugging me today here's here's here's why i feel hopeless today here's here's this fucking challenge or this crossroad that i'm at and how would you help me through it it's in that brotherhood the dudes do business together and create companies and products man i love seeing that and so really the project is far beyond hardship but as long as you can produce hardship for yourself so that when real hardness comes it feels

easy for you. That's the whole idea. It's just stress inoculation. The project is stress inoculation against doing hard things because life is generally hard. And when you do hard things, then your life is easy. If you always keep choosing easy in life, then your life becomes hard. And then you do the self-work, whether through a therapist or through journaling and through books and such, then all of a sudden you're a more rounded man and you become a better father, a more patient husband. You develop this level of wisdom. You have date nights now. You're not impulsively dropping your pants with your fucking iPhone in your fucking hand jerking off to some stupid pornography and then feeling the guilt because of it you're not you're not drugging yourself

up or drinking alcohol to numb and soothe and shield yourself from reality like that's what the project is man and that people can do their own projects on their own won't cost them a dime or they can come join us and we'll guide them through the process awesome and I'm glad you talks on that too because there's people in there they ask questions like well have you done the project yourself i'm just thinking to myself i'm like dude he created it like he's been going through this process for years exactly and you put that video out straight after so i'm glad you talked to that you know it's funny too is even the um the evolution that ray came up with and i don't want to give too much of the project away part of it is we certain things we won't even show in those videos to highlight

videos because we don't we want the experience to be sacred for everyone the guy that goes through but there is one where for lack of a better time term, I don't want to say water boarded, but you're kind of drowning. And bro, it's like, you're suffocating and you're kind of drowning. And it's an evolution that Ray, the seal came up with. That scared me. Because I'll hike until my legs fall off. I'll do pushups and burpees until like I fall apart and start crying.

But like, bro, I could feel water trickling down my throat. I'm going to drown. And it's like to maintain emotional disappointment. to be able to breathe through my mouth because if I try and breathe through my nose, I'm sucking in water because there's something on my face that's imagined basically your nose and eyes, everything from your nose above like you're in an aquarium. So if you can focus while there's chaos around you and you can maybe kind of breathe through your mouth, you'll be fine for the number of minutes that you have to do this.

I was like, Ray, if we're going to do that evolution, I got to go through it first. He's like, oh, are you afraid of it? I'm like, yeah, claustrophobia, the drowning, yeah. And so now the thing is, have I gone through all 75 hours? It's a totally different experience when you're going through all 75 hours. You don't know what's coming next. You don't know how much sleep you're going to get, if any, right? So I haven't experienced the 75 hours in that way because I have developed it,

and so I know what's coming next. I would laugh the entire time that Stephen Ray are yelling at me because I know the schick. You know what I mean? Right, right. For sure. Makes sense. This other person asked, he said, I've had anger problems for most of my life.

As a man, when being disrespected or threatened, when is the time to walk away and when is the time to respond with violence? To me, that's a cut and dry question. If you feel that your life is threatened or the life of the people around you are threatened, then you should respond with violence. Anything short of that, walk away.

I grew up in Santa Ana Garden Grove, Westminster areas where one time one time me and a friend, my friend Terry and I were going to carjack this Asian kid. He looked like a very helpless Asian kid. I'm totally stereotyping, right? It's like a frail Asian kid driving a Honda Civic and we knew that if we took his car apart,

we'd get money for those parts. Fucker pulled out a pistol with a quickness. And dude, let me tell you, Like your body reacts a very different way when you're looking down the barrel of a gun. And so I don't know what the other guy has, if he's got a knife or a pistol or whatever. And these days, everyone's trained in some kind of combative sports, whether it's boxing or movie tie or jujitsu. And so the way I look at it today is that if I'm threatened, like my life, my safety of myself and my loved ones are threatened. If they have a weapon, I'm drawing my pistol.

If they don't have a weapon, I'm going to tell my family to run while I stand in the gap and bring violence to these people. But I will talk my way out of any fight these days because I don't know what level of crazy you are and you might have nothing to lose. And so you're willing to stab me, you're willing to shoot me,

you're willing to do harm to me in a way that I can't serve society. It's not worth it. Right. Yeah. Right, man. this next person asked he says why get married nowadays he says there's no good woman left i think and so before we started recording we talked about you know red pill blue pill and whatever and i feel like

there's this term that goes around they call it red pill rage where it's basically where you go through this this moment of being frustrated with life because you kind of discover uh kind of you know how some girls act and how you're you're supposed to be as a man whatever it is and so they kind of perpetuate this message that might not necessarily be true. However, I feel like a lot of these questions are asked from that state of mind. And so this guy's asking, why get married nowadays, there's really no point. Well, you're right. Why get married nowadays? There's really no point. Listen, I can tell you, but my mentor, Jim Franco, he's been married three times. This last time, he's like, I'm definitely staying with her. And he was a savage of a man. His last two marriages,

they left him. And they left him because he was just not a good man. He was a good entrepreneur, but not a good man to his women. And when I met him, he was in between marriages in his 60s. He was lonely. He had a housekeeper that he would try and talk to, not like sexually, but like he just needed companionship. So this nice Hispanic lady that he would try and talk to

and she would stay an hour or two longer after cleaning the house just to talk to him. And one day I was there visiting him and I could tell that she wants to leave, but he just needs companionship and friendship and he wants to talk to her. And I was like, damn, I'm going to make sure that I find a woman that I'm going to be with forever who's going to be my best friend. I don't want to be a lonely old man. By the way, number one category of suicide, men over 60, whose wives have died.

They feel like they have nothing to live for, right? I don't want to be that person. So now, if I don't have a wife, I'm in my 60s, my, obviously. You don't have kids or maybe you do have kids with someone. You adopted kids, but now they're off living their own life. You're just like, fuck, what do I do? What do I do? And so it's not that there's not enough women left.

Yes, let's be honest. There's probably less picking. But I'll also play the other card, the other hand, which is not enough great men. There's nice guys, which nice guys are toxic. They're horrible. They're passive aggressive. They're emotional. They're not savage servant.

They're not going to stand in the gap in your defense. They're not earners. A man has a responsibility. So I challenge this guy, like, go from a nice guy to a good man to a great man. And when you do, you will naturally attract a great woman. If someone is in the quest of finding the right woman to marry a guy, I say instead of looking for her, fix yourself. Become a great man. Become a catch.

Let me tell you, women, women know. The number one message I get is when a class graduates, and you'll see this now that you're in my DMs after class graduates. Are any of them single? Are any of them single? Because, like, wow, they went through the project. And these are guys that are earners. They're looking to do the self-work, like show vulnerability,

but still be savages, like open a door, but then punch a bad guy in the face. Like, are any of them single? So, now, I don't know if any of those women are worthy of a guy like that. Sure. But maybe one of them are. is, maybe two of them are, right? So yeah, slim Piggins on both sides. But if the winners on both sides started to level up more, they will actually, the universe will bring the people that belong

together together. And so if you are not with that person yet, then maybe you're not the person worthy of a great woman. Got a man. So this is me inserting my own, being selfish and inserting my own question, but I got to ask you to clarify on the nice guy versus good man because that video we put out that went viral and went everywhere. Yeah. There's a lot of, men that disagree with it because they don't understand what being a nice guy means. Well, if he does all those things, he's not, you know, a nice guy at all. Like, what is your, you know, definition of being a nice guy and why do you say nice guy when that's really not a nice person? Right, right, right. So it's really on the heels of this great book. I forget the author's name, but the name of the book,

and everyone should read this. Every guy should read this and every woman should read this book. No more Mr. Nice Guy is the title of the book. And the reason every guy and gal should read it. Every guy should read it because they're going to realize that, you know, when girls say, oh, he's a nice guy, but not interested, meaning they're just like, he's not intriguing to me. He's not dangerous. A woman wants a man that's dangerous, that's savage, that's servant, that can open a door. And like I said, punch another guy in the face at the same time who's a threat who can go out and hunt for food and say, honey, don't worry, I'll help make a decision if you want a decision made. I know where we're going to go for date night. And I know exactly how we're going to get there.

And I know exactly what I'm going to order. Like women, it's in our DNA as, men to want to be decisive. Men have become neutered in making decisions because they're like, oh, man, we should all collaborate or whatever. Women actually want a man who is decisive, who will open doors, who is jacked, who is a little rugged, who is a little savage, but who also is a protector who will also cuddle, who will, as my friend John Lovell says, a lion and a lamb, you know, like a lion when you must be and a lamb show your soft underbelly to your wife to your kids like that's a good man who can go

out there and hunt but then also love up your woman a nice guy is someone who's passive aggressive who thinks like hey let's go Dutch and split the bill who is always like broke a nice guy is someone who's not a great communicator who's indecisive an ice guy is someone who will always kind of play the victim the social signal to being a victim that it was a circumstance stands that made their life horrible. They take no personal responsibility. That's a nice guy. I don't want my daughter Chloe dating a nice guy.

I want my daughter Chloe dating a good man, a good man who can look after her, but who can also be the wind under her wings to go fly, baby girl, fly and not like feel threatened when she's trying to fly, right? So many nice guys feel threatened when they're women start accomplishing things. Fuck, man. Like, I'm excited. Like, you know this. Like, my wife right now is going for her PhD in psychology.

Bro, I'm so pumped for her. Like, we built all these companies together. We built empires together. She raised two amazing kids. I was just kind of there involved. But truth be told, my wife did all the raising of the kids. And I just went out and did my thing. And, you know, like, we knew our roles and responsibilities, man.

We got two amazing kids. And now she's like going to Pepper Dine. I'm excited. I'm not threatened by that. but a nice guy might be threatened by that. Well, hey, we have all this money. Why does she want to go be a psychologist? What does she want to be a therapist?

Is she trying to break away and create her own money? And like, am I going to have the hammer drop on me in a few years? Like, no, dude. Like she wants to have her, she literally put her whole life off for my companies, our companies, for our kids. And now she's like, I'm going to go be a therapist and just help people because I can. And if I want to not charge them because we're filthy rich, great. I'm like, by the way, you got to charge them.

Because if they don't pay, they're not going to pay attention, but charge him something small. Right. But anyway, man, a nice guy is that guy who's emotionally weak, mentally fragile, physically gelatinous or just soft. And then a good man is someone that you're like, God damn it, like I'll walk through a dark alley with this guy any day. There we go.

Good explanation. A lot of nice guys in the comments. So I had to ask that one. So, okay, what are your thoughts on the red pill? So again, kind of going back to that again, he asked because he says all of these influencers trying to teach people how to become better men seems kind of lame. Yeah, you're right. All these influencers trying to teach men to become better men seems lame.

Well, schools aren't teaching that. Yeah. Dads aren't teaching that. You've got a 50% divorce rate. So immediately a dad is absent. Half the time. Of the other 50% where the dads are around, half of them are emotionally and mentally absent.

So they're not, they weren't taught how to be capable. confident men, protectors and providers. They weren't taught the etiquette of when your woman's going, you're, you know, at the airport. If the escalator's going up, as a man, you stand behind her. Okay, she falls. If the escalator's going down, as a man, you stand in front of her. I bet a lot of the guys who think this is kind of lame,

like those are the things, my son knows. My son knows, since he was a little puppy, four years old. He was opening doors for Chloe and Diana. My son knows that, you know, if you're walking on a sidewalk with mom or sister, son, you're on the street side and they're on the inside of the sidewalk where they're safer. These are the things that men are not just like inherently taught. We have to be taught this through mentorship. This is why knights had squires. When a knight had a squire, it was a squire's job to clean the horse and clean the armor and

sharpen the sword and even sword fight with the knight. But then when they had some downtime, the knight would teach him etiquettes on being a savage servant, on being a good man. Those right of passage experiences are gone, hence why we created the Squire program in the first place. So if there's not people out there on social media teaching that and taking the place of the absent fathers, then we become such a soft and complacent society that government, tyrannical government, will take over because absolute power is absolutely corrupt. And the only thing stopping government from taking over and increasing taxes and limiting access and freedom is strong good men. And we need more strong good men.

Now, having said that, I do believe that there's a lot of charlatans and impostors in the social media sphere teaching this stuff, unfortunately. And so, but I see that in business coaching. People go betos, you charge $100,000 for business coaching. This guy charges $30,000. And I'll like type, you get what you pay for, send, right? Six months later, they're like, fuck, that $30,000 cost me about $300,000 because I made a lot of bad decisions. And so I've lost all this money and all this time. Are you ready to pay that $100 grand now?

Yes. Right. So, you know, you get what you pay for. Yeah. But so while there's bad business coaches, there's there's probably shitty men that are pouring into other men you got to do your due diligence you got to find out like hey the leader of this organization what is his intentions let me talk to people that have gone through it do i like the people that have gone through it or maybe they're

assholes right maybe this experience that this guy is teaching is creating assholes then i don't want to go through it cool then discount that guy and go find the experience that's out there but if you haven't had a positive male figure in your life to teach you you the way of man, you better learn it from somewhere, if not just doing what Jack Donovan did, the author of a great book called The Way of Man, and he decided, I'm going to fucking try and learn it myself, you know, and he was like, all right, and you started doing, again, researching history and how were men? Like, what was the ethos of men? Why did we want to be in the tribe? And he deduced it, you know, like, well, all these people are trying to teach masculinity. Did you know the true

masculinity really all one man is looking at it up for another man is I want to see that you have strength or courage or the ability to produce like something like a clay pot or a bow and arrow right because and then honor respect that I can trust you right like that's a core fundamental characteristics of man strength physical and mental strength courage in the event that we have to go to fight. Honor, I want to be able to trust you and have your back and you have my back. And then, of course, not every guy can have strength and courage. But hey, I hope that you have honor and you have the ability to create stuff that we can use,

a slink shot, a bow and arrow, right? And when a man can't carry his own weight in a tribe, that's when he is ostracized. And if you look at all these dudes who are like lonely and they feel like lone wolves and they feel like they're an island and they're isolated, it's because you're probably missing some of those things. We are still tribal. That's genetically within us. It's still within our DNA to be tribal. We can't maybe articulate that we're looking for strength, courage, honor and the ability to be mechanical or technical with things. But we're still actively looking for that. And if you're a jack dude, you take care of yourself, you earn your money, you do all that. You come. You across someone who's a deadbeat, you're not going to hang out with him late and you're just not. And so enough good guys like you, not hanging out with a nice guy like him, he starts feeling ostracized. So he needs mentoring from people on social media. You just have to sift through the shit to find the gems, but like anything on social media, there's a lot of shit.

Like you see these chicks that have perfect booty and a perfect face and you realize they're using some fucking Snapchat filter when you meet him in person because they look like they hit every fucking branch on the ugly tree. What do you say about that, Ed? All right, so I got to take you back a second. I got to give you a little pushback on. You were basically giving different qualities of being chivalrous, opening doors, you know, protecting them.

Well, not necessarily that. You should do that. But, you know, those sorts of things, right? I know there's going to be people in the comments talking about, you know, Schilver is dead and women killed it. I've done that before. I've gotten taken advantage. I literally saw a comment earlier today.

The guy was like, I bought her flowers all the time. And I took her out and I gave her all my attention, whatever, whatever. And she still left me, right? But wait, but she was the wrong girl to do that for. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, she was the wrong girl to do that for. Like, if I was a con artist and you're like, man, I started a business with Pedro.

I was there around the clock working with him. He said, we're going to do all these things. And then three years later, I con you out of the money. and I fucking, I was the wrong person for you to get into business with. That doesn't mean all business partners are bad. That just means you pick the bad business partner. But go on. So, no, but that answers the question.

So it's basically, you know, you can still be that. You should be that. You should carry yourself that way. But you got to make sure you pick the right person. And you're never going to know until you kind of time will tell. That's it. That's it. I mean, wasn't there like a fairy tale or something where like the princess like kisses all these frogs

until like one of them is a prince? Like, as men, we got to kiss a lot. a lot of frogs too until we find the princess, bro. Like, that's, that's, that's the fact. Yeah. But I'll go back to the very first thing. If you're a dude that's like sloppy and out of shape and you're not earning and you're not fucking growing and you don't have a purpose or a calling, a woman's not going to be

into you. Like, fucking get your shit together. Get your shit together. Stop living in your mom's fucking basement. Stop. Stop taking pride in your pasty, gelatinous body that's shaped like a fucking pear. stop being broke and living off credit cards. Stop being such an emotional and mental wreck so that this woman will see that, my God, this is a man and not a boy.

They're not looking to raise boys. They're looking to partner with men. Yeah. Yeah. Makes total sense. I know he felt that one. Next one was asking about, he said he saw one of your talks and you were talking about multitasking versus monotasking. So I think that rolls into that perfectly.

because I can be in business, I can be in a relationship, you know, what are your thoughts on that? So multitasking versus monotasking or basically singularity of focus, right? Because I can see why people think like, hey, Bezos, you're a little conflicted. Because I always say like, hey, have singularity of focus. But then you see me doing a million things

when you're looking from social media. What people don't see behind the scenes, yes, it looks like I'm doing all those things, but I'm partnered with Dan Fleischman on this particular thing, right? and he's got a team and I've got a team. And then on this thing, I've got a CEO that's growing FitBody Boot Camp.

And then on this thing, I've got a VP that's growing Truling Supplements. And then on that thing, I've got Ray and Steve leading the charge with Squire and the MDK. And so, yes, I can have, I can be fighting battles on multiple fronts and creating lots of companies because I've built a brand of myself

and I think everybody should do that. And then I plugged in leaders who can then execute all the different things that I is the visionary see, right? And I'm very clear on giving them direction. But the minute, I'm like, oh, man, I got a great idea for a business. But I'm like, oh, shit, I don't have a leader to execute it. I would not do it.

I would just have singularity of focus. And so if you're just starting out, your highest chance of success come having, is through having singularity of focus. If we learned anything from this 21 years of sustained combat in Iraq and Afghanistan stand is that you can't fight and win a war on two fronts. And so even in life, you can't win a war on multiple fronts. Like singularity of focus allows you to focus on the one thing that matters, get that to a place of success and some level of automation, plug in a leader, and then as a visionary,

go out and do that other thing. Awesome, man. Okay, last question, at least for this episode, is he asks, how have you and your wife kept the flame burning in your marriage? I'm struggling to keep my business afloat, and the relationship with my wife is now tanking with it because I hardly have time to spend with her. That's a good question, man, because when you have a business like this guy does, sometimes your business starts taking a lot of your time. And to your woman, it'll feel like the other woman, number one,

because, like, man, you're giving so much attention to the business. You're there all day long, and then at night you're thinking about it or talking about it, and then on weekends you're planning for it, Hello, what about me? I'm your wife. You did choose me after all, didn't you? Right? And so I could understand that.

And then, of course, as men, this is pretty fucked up, but this is how we can be unless we do the self-work. Is that we give everything to our business and to our employees, and then we come home emotionally bankrupt and like in the red and exhausted. And then we're so quick to blow up

and get in a fight with our honey. And I think that's stupid because again, you didn't choose your kids. You didn't choose your parents. You didn't choose your siblings. You were just born to all these people. And your kids were born to you. You chose the one person and that is your spouse. And then you give her the scraps that are left.

Right. And that's one of the core tenants of the project, which is faith. Here's the second one. Family and then fitness and finances, right? That family component is very important. The family is your kids, your spouse that you're with. like do you have a set date night? Are you guys still doing fun things together on weekends?

Or are you guys just two ships passing in the night? If you are, then that's going to speak to the 50% divorce rate. And then like I said, of the other 50% that are together, half of them hate each other. They just know that a divorce is going to be expensive, so they reluctantly live together. You know, it shouldn't be that way. But you keep the flame alive by actively engaging in the marriage,

just like you do in your business. Now, the only problem is your wife has to be actively engaged as well, right? Because if his wife is like just waiting to be wooed and spooned and all this and she's not doing her part, whereas the business, like, he knows that if he works hard, the business is going to produce and make money, well, he might work hard on the relationship, but if she's not playing the game and she doesn't want to contribute and do her part, then it's still going to be an uphill battle for him. Then that's maybe grounds for a divorce and that's a different conversation. Yeah, right on, man, right on.

Like I said, there's a lot of questions that people ask. We have some more, but we'll probably say that for another episode so we don't run the time too long. But I appreciate you getting these all taken care of me. All right, well, thank you for jumping in on this. Layton and friends, thank you so much for watching and listening to this episode. If you liked this episode, and I know you did, please like it and share it. And, of course, leave us a review on the social media and the podcast platforms.

It would mean a lot to me. And as always, go dominate your day. Much love. Lorenzo and a Benzo I was banging with a gang of instrumental