Bedros Keuilian Podcast Show - 026. Top 14 Traits of High Performers (Do These Now!)

Episode Date: March 28, 2023

In today’s episode of the Bedros Keuilian Show, I explain the essential traits that I believe make men into the kind of man people can look up to and respect.  And how you can use these traits to transform your life, become a true leader, and leave a lasting impact on those around you.

But if a grown-ass man cannot carry his own weight physically, mentally, emotionally, financially, metaphorically, and a place of a, God forbid, we go into battle, then what are you worth? You're just a liability and not an asset to humanity. Welcome to the Bedroes-Cooleon Show. Back when Q was rolling with Lorenzo and a Benzo, I was banging with a gang of instrumental. Hey, welcome to the Bedros-Coolyan show. My name is Bedros-Culian, and today we're going to do a deep dive into a question I got asked the other day, and that got me thinking. question that I was asked is, Bedros, what kind of man do you admire? And I was like, man, that's a really good question. And so I gave my answer, but quite honestly, I didn't really

think through my answer because I was in a rush. And so I later, as I was driving off, I kind of thought like, man, there's actually other traits that I admire about certain types of men. So I'm going to share that with you because let that be a goal for all of us to become the idealized version of the man that we want to be, right? So I'm going to share with you here the type of man that I admire. But first I'm going to tell you a great story about my dear friend, Chanta, Chanta fuck up. And so, yes, his name is Chanta and the running joke that he and I have for the last

25 years. I go, hey, Chanta, he goes, what? I go, chant the fuck up. And so shout out to you, Chanta, if you're watching this or listening to this, bro. He and I worked together at Disneyland. We met way in high school. and we worked together at Disneyland as busboys and they became dinner cooks and all this stuff, but really stayed lifelong friends.

And he's literally a writer die for me. He's one of those dudes where if I just give him a call and say, hey, Chanta, show up, man. And he'll just say, do I bring a shovel? And where are we going? And so, long story short, when we were probably about 20 years old, both of us were single. And neither one of us went to college. And so Chanta got the great idea that we're going to go to San Felipe for spring break, right? So living out here in Southern California, he had figured out that a lot of the colleges

during spring break, they'll go to San Felipe in Mexico and shit pops off in San Felipe in Mexico and lots of ladies and good times and nightclubs and whatever, right? And so off we went. We got in this pickup truck and we drove the seven hours to San Felipe in Mexico. We get there and we're in this like shitty little hotel that he and I are sharing a room in. And we're just excited because we're like, dude, all we got to do is blend in. All we got to use blend in. Wherever this group of guys and girls go, we're going to go with them.

And they're going to ask us what university or college you guys go to. We're just going to say, like, you know, hey, we're from Phoenix. And hopefully change the subject and party with them. And if all goes well, we're getting late tonight, you know. So that was the whole plan, Ed. And we were going to eat as many street tacos as we can in San Felipe because, well, that's what you do there, especially if you want dysentarian diarrhea. So we're there.

Now, Chanta, he can't hold his alcohol that well, not to say that I can, but he can't hold his alcohol well. And we were at some nightclub in San Felipe, Mexico, where everything's going off, beautiful people, guys and gals, everything's going off. And he's like shooting back one shot after another. All of a sudden, they turned on the suds machine. It was like soap suds. And like the dance for us filling up with soap suds.

And Chanta, I love the guy to death, but he ain't, he ain't to talk. guy. Ed, you've met him, you know, he's short. And so not only is he short, but as he's drunk, he constantly feels the need to sit down. And this nightclub had a, had a dance floor that kind of set in. So there's like a one step up to go to the bar area. So he kind of sits right there on the step at the mouth of the dance floor. The problem is now the soap sides are building up. He's drunk and I'm trying to get my game on. And I look and all I see is the top of Chant's head, bro. Like, there's enough soap suds where it's like, it's above my knee, but that's Chanta's headline because he's sitting on the fucking floor, right? So I'm getting Chanta

up and I'm like, bro, you got to stand up. One, you're ruining my game, too. You're going to drown in soap suds. I don't know what I'm going to take your carcass back to back to California, explain to your mom how we ended up in San Felipe and before you know and I'm in prison because of Federalis. I don't need this shit. And long and short of it, I wish Chanta was here to kind of fill in the blanks, but we either met these girls who were like, two doors down, three girls who were two doors down in the same little hotel that we were staying at. And, you know, Chanta was flirting with them and had game with them, et cetera. And so we saw them at that nightclub. He continued to flirt with them. And they were like, hey, tonight you guys should come by

when we get back to the hotel. Chantza's like, hey, B, you're down? I'm like, absolutely. We're going to go by. We're going to hang out with them, do a little after party in their room. They invited us. And so whatever. The night went on. We lost contact with them. And me and Chanta are stumbling home. He's covered with soap suds and my knees down are covered with soap suds. And we're walking. We get to our hotel and as we get up the stairs, we see that the door of these girls' hotel room is kind of half open. I'm like, bro, they left the door open because they're expecting us like they said earlier today. He's like, yeah, let's go. And so me and Chanta like push the door open, we're like, yo, what up, ladies? And as we open the door and take a step in, all three of them are

like in their bras and panties, laying down, knocked out, passed out on their bed. We look at each other and we're like, oh shit, I am not about to turn this into some weird scenario where I get arrested by the Federallis or whatever. I don't know if they're dead. I don't know if they're asleep, but I'm not about to touch them with a 10 foot pole. I said, bro, let's go. He's like, are you sure? I said, I am sure.

We turned around, closed the door so that they're safe and went back to our room and that was that. But that was one of the funnest trips I've had with Chanta. Had lots of trips with him. But San Felipe in Mexico, on the way back, we actually did get stopped by a giant pickup truck full of Federallis with, with AR-15s or maybe M4 rifles, whatever they were. And $20 later, we were on our way back to Southern California with the great story to tell. So what I want to share with you guys, though, are traits of great men that I admire because Chanta happens to be one of these great men that I admire. He's an amazing father to his kids. He's a, he's a, wonderful human being who contributes to society.

You know, he raised his son and daughter. His son and my son share a name, Andrew, and his daughter's name is Yuki. He raised Andrew and Yuki because his wife was a full-time flat attendant, and so she was, you know, out there flying around doing her thing. And so he raised him and they're amazing human beings, both of them, great athletes, great grades, just awesome human beings as well. And he's been a great friend to me through some dark times, through some times of, where you kind of wonder, like, do I belong here? Do I belong here on this side of the dirt?

And a conversation or two with Chanta has helped me get clarity that maybe I do belong here, that maybe I was meant for something greater. And, you know, this is a guy that's known me for 25 years. So you could imagine he's seen every variation of me and me of him. And so we would do anything for each other like brothers. But he's someone that I admire. And when I think about someone like that, these are the characters. These are the traits that I admire in a man. Number one, that you keep your promise.

A man who keeps his promise, he keeps his word, to me as a solid human being. If you don't keep your promise, then what are you really? Your promise, your word is your reputation. And your reputation precedes you anywhere you go. Sadly, these days, everyone's so willing, so quick. to break promises and to ghost people and to, you know, say something, but do the other thing. And I don't know, maybe I come from a generation that's different, or maybe I just don't know any better. But I'm telling you right now, a man who can keep his promise and who can keep his word is a man of higher reputation, of higher value and higher self-worth.

Right. If you have like self-esteem, self-confidence problems, it's because you probably haven't been keeping promises to yourself. A man who has high confidence keeps promises that he makes himself and to others. A man who never seeks the approval or validation of another person, right? When I see men who fanboy out over celebrities, athletes, gurus, influencers, thought leaders, whatever, I'm like, what are you doing? What are you doing? We have this saying at the project during one of the evolutions, during one of the evolutions,

we get all the guys together who are the candidates. And earlier that night, we put them through a grueling test called the FTX. And that FTX test really tested their loyalty to their peers, to the other candidates. And we get to see how quickly they turn on each other when they're sitting in a dark room with me one on one. And I talked them into turning on a friend. and for my validation and approval, about a third of them, I'm able to talk into throwing their friend under the bus. And so at the end of that evolution, of course,

we bring them downstairs. And instructor Steve at some point says, hey, instructor Bedros, who's the top dog here? And I go, I'm the top dog. And he goes, no, I'm the top dog. And then instructor Ray says, nope, I'm the top dog. And then instructor Aaron says, nope, I'm the top dog. And instructor Matt says, nope, I'm the top dog.

top dog. And what the candidates quickly realized who they're standing and when they're standing in front of us is when they were asked earlier, like, who's the man and who are you going to listen to? And, right? Basically, are you seeking my approval and validation? Therefore, you're going to go with my plan to throw this guy under the bus and get him to ring the bell and quit, even though you say he's a good dude, but you're like, hey, whatever you say, Bedros? In other words, seeking my approval and validation. And that moment, they realized that they are the man on the pedestal. So I'm here to tell you right now, never seek the approval or validation of another man or another hero don't ever have like this hero syndrome don't put anybody an athlete a celebrity a fucking

president of the country on a pedestal and i know you would never put some ice cream licking hair smelling geriatric dude on a pedestal anyway but on the off chance you did i'm telling you not to because you are the top dog you are the man on the pedestal that's it if there's one fucking pedestal you belong on there and you know i also thought about this because andrew tate calls himself the top top G cool man he should he is the top G to him but guess who the top G is I'm the fucking top G and you're the top G and you're the top G and you're the top G and you're the top G and the top G and the reason is there can only be one top G in anyone's life and it better be you and when I see grown-ass men calling Andrew Tate the top G I'm like you fucking idiots

why are you giving another man this power over you this authority authority over you when he himself is telling you to defy power and authority of the system, what he calls the matrix. So please understand that you are the top G, that you are the fucking hero in your story. You are the man on the white horse. You are not to seek approval or validation from anyone because the only approval and validation I need is that of my consciousness, of my greater higher self. All right, let's move on to thing number three.

I value an admire man who is never late and who is on time. As far as I'm concerned, and we share this at the project, if you're on time, you're late. If you're early, then you're on time. And then if you're late, it's unforgivable. That's it. Like a man should be control of his time. Like show up on time or early.

Simple as that. It's the least you can do. Number four, carry. your own weight. This is something I admire about men because these days so many people have fallen into that place of being a victim where they don't want to carry their own weight. They want a safe place to cry in. They want a safe space for this. They want to be able to get recognized for that. So carry your own fucking weight. You have thoughts, you have feelings, you have emotions. Manage them. Manage them. And if you can't, don't put the weight of that on others.

financially carry your own weight emotionally carry your own weight mentally carry your own weight physically carry your own weight if you can't move objects around because you're so fat and your muscles have atrophied what are you worth to humanity if god forbid the shit hits the fan and we all have to tribe up to be able to protect our communities what can you bring you're not courageous you're not strong, you certainly have no mechanical skills, that's what I mean by carrying your own weight, right? In Jack Donovan's book, The Way of Man, he talks about that a man must be strong,

courageous, have this ability of mastery, and then, of course, to be able to be respected and admired by others. That is carrying your own weight. If you can't do that, now I understand, Look, if someone's disabled, someone's old, and I need to carry the weight for you, I need to earn for you as well, because you're my neighbor and we've looked out for each other, but now you're old and you can't earn for yourself, hey, I will carry that weight. Like, that is acceptable and forgivable. But if a grown-ass man cannot carry his own weight physically, mentally, emotionally, financially, metaphorically, and a place of a, God forbid, we go into battle, then what are you worth? You're just a liability and not an asset to humanity. Moving on to thing number five, a man of service to those he leads. I admire the kind of man who is in service of those he leads, who doesn't exploit the people

that he leads, but he is in service of them. Most leaders, CEOs, whatever, think that because they have the title, that they are the hot shit and they should do the least amount of work. As far as I'm concerned, and the three guys here behind the cameras will tell you that oftentimes I'm the last to leave this building. And it's my truck parked out there and no one else's. I like to lead that way. I like to serve my team.

I like to make sure that they're doing good and not just put them in a position of you do for me, but expect nothing from me for you. I like to go to lunch with them and work out with them and ask them how they're doing. That is servitude to your team. And I admire the kind of man who is willing to serve as a leader. Number six, I admire the kind of man who is aggressive, who lives a life of urgency,

who can be violent and yet is self-controlled, right? And we hear Jordan Peterson talk about this all the time. He says, do not be do not be dacile. Do not be tame. You must be a monster. You must be a monster. And then put that monster under control and deploy it only when you need to. And I think that is very, very beautiful and poetic.

Because if you can be aggressive, you can obviously. operate in a state of urgency and you can bring violence. You are probably one of the most calmest people I know. Trust me. You are that calm of a person, but you know because you know how to keep it controlled. You're confident and you're controlled. The most dangerous people are those who do not know the skill of violence, who do not live urgently, who do not know how to be aggressive because they are passive aggressive. And the reason they are the most dangerous is because they are unpredictable. They are the ones, the unpredictable, emotionally and mental reckless who can't control their feelings, these are the men who end up doing mass

shootings. These are the men who end up being, you know, that domestic abuser of their wife and their kids. And so if you can't operate from a place of stoicism, yet still have aggression, urgency, and violence under control, then to me you're not a man that I would admire. Number seven, I admire the kind of man who is kind of gentle and loving. I don't think there's more I need to say about that. Number eight, I admire a kind of man who listens, not the man who is waiting to talk.

I admire a man who listens, right? There's active listening, and then there's a person who's waiting to talk. You can always tell who's waiting to talk. They're just kind of chomping, leaning forward, chomping in a bit, waiting for you to finish, waiting for you just to find that open spot for them to jump into that conversation.

That is not a person who listens. I can't respect that person. Because if you are listening, then you are actively participating in hearing my opinion. And therefore, I will give you the respect of hearing and listening to your opinion as well. I also admire the type of man who is fit and athletic because when I see a fit and athletic man, I can tell you immediately, he's got several great traits. He's got the trait of consistency. He's got the trait of focus.

He's got the trait of discipline. He's got the trait of delayed gratification. And he's got grit. because no man who's fit and athletic just fell out of his mother's vagina that way. If you are fit and athletic, it's because you have put yourself through consistent workouts and constant clean eating over a long period of time

through the traits of discipline, focus, consistency, and delayed gratification, and you have grit. And that tells me a lot about you and you are the type of man I want to do business with, I want to be friends with, and you are the type of man that I admire. I also admire the type of man who earns well.

The kind of man who knows how to earn his money, how to protect his money, how to multiply his money, and how to be generous with his money. And if you think money is the root of all evil, if you think money is bad, you think money doesn't buy happiness, you are absolutely wrong.

Money is not the root of all evil. Money is not bad. Money simply amplifies who you already are. If you are a broke asshole, you will be a bigger, rich asshole. That's all. You'll just be a bigger asshole who's rich. And if you are a person who's kind, caring, compassionate, generous, then you will be more of that when you have money because money's just an amplifier of your personality of who you are. I also admire man who's a gentleman to

all who can open doors, who can say please and thank you, who when walking with a child or a woman or an elderly person can walk on the street side of the sidewalk, when going up an escalation, a man who stands behind his family. When going down an escalator, he stands in front of his family, a man who can be a protector, right? A gentleman. You might be like, wow, I didn't know a gentleman could be. Yes, gentlemen must protect, right?

You must be a savage and a servant. And a gentleman, to me, is a combination of savage and servant, equal parts, perfectly balanced into a gentleman. I also admire the type of man who was well-spoken and a thinker. See, if you're well-spoken, that means you're well-spoken, that means you're well read. If you're well read, that means you cannot be contorted. Your brain, your thoughts, your ideology cannot be contorted by big traditional media, right?

CNN, Fox, Newsmax, or any other big media, you're not just going to regurgitate what you've heard as ideology. Because if you are well spoken, you're also a thinker, which means you're well read. And if you're well spoken and you're a thinker, then you are able to ask questions, be curious, question things. When you ask questions and you show curiosity, you then begin to go, huh, that's interesting. More than ever, people are dying an alarming rate, just falling dead. And it seems to be amplified after the vaccine. And I wonder if athletes who are falling dead, world class athletes across NBA, NFL, MLB,

like every sport are just falling dead, I wonder if there's a quinkinink here. If you can't show curiosity because you are so locked in on one ideology, either on the left or the right, you're a fucking idiot. You are brainwashed. And if you can't think for yourself, they will teach you how to think on their behalf. And that's probably what's happened to you. And I also admire a man who is confident and without ego. Confidence is a byproduct of keeping promises to yourself.

Confidence is a byproduct of stacking W, stacking wins over time, big and small wins. And when you start to develop confidence, you also begin to stoke your ego. That is just a byproduct of masculinity. However, the highest level of man knows how to develop his confidence while humbly controlling his ego. I admire that kind of man. I also admire the kind of man who has seen hardship and suffering.

Because if you have seen hardship and suffering, you've gone through trauma, you've been through physical, emotional, sexual trauma, like I have. You have seen hard times. You've had to eat out of dumpsters. You've had to live in your car. You have just faced adversity in your life

and somehow, like the phoenix, you have risen. out of that mess, you're a person who is resilient. You are a person who is resourceful. You are a person who is relentless. And I admire that kind of person who has seen hardship and suffering and through resourcefulness, resiliency, and a relentless mindset and attitude

has pulled themselves out from the shit and become the kind of man who can serve humanity because that man has compassion. that man has empathy and that man is respected and admired by all. And finally, I admire the type of man who is a role model to his kids, specifically to his kids. Listen, there's so many things we can publicly on social media say that we do and what we are and we can regurgitate quotes from this guy and that guy. But the reality is if you have kids, you might be telling your kids one thing, but they're seeing another thing, right?

Ed Milet says that, you know, we are taught some things, and then the best things are caught. We catch them. And so what are your kids catching? What are you role modeling to them? You know, are you fat and out of shape? Yet you're talking to them about being healthy? How hypocritical is that? How incongruent is that?

Are you the type of dude who's broke, yet you're talking about financial freedom on social media? How hypocritical is that? So imagine if you could live a role model life where you like specifically like my son and daughter, the version of they see me at home, at work on social media is congruent to the man that I am. That is what I want to be and that is a kind of man that I admire. So guys and gals, thank you for watching this episode of the Bedros-Colian show. I appreciate all the subscriptions, all the likes, all the comments, the shares across not only the podcast platforms, but also on YouTube.

And if you got any value from this episode and if I missed any traits that you might admire, please leave them in the comment section below on YouTube. I want to hear more of those traits and possibly add them to my list. And so thank you so much for watching and listening to this episode. Always remember that averages the enemy.

Success is your responsibility and your life can change in an instant when you are ready to flip the switch. We'll see you guys next time. Back with Q was rolling with Lorenzo and a Benzo. I was banging with a gang of instrument