Bedros Keuilian Podcast Show - 033. Why Your Friends Keep You BROKE...

Episode Date: May 16, 2023

In this episode of the Bedros Keuilian Show, I explain how doing this one thing in your life will lead you to become the 2.0 version of yourself faster than ever. The road to developing the 2.0 version of yourself will never be smooth. You will make sacrifices, test relationships and face your fears. If you’ve ever wanted to be a better leader, entrepreneur, partner, or friend or to just be happier then you’ll want to check out this episode. JOIN MY FREE 6-WEEK CHALLENGE https://bedroskeuilian.com/challenge

Because if you're ready to soar with the Eagles and you want to keep climbing high, you can't keep hanging around with the chickens. Welcome to the Bedros Koolian Show. Back when Q was rolling with Lorenzo and a Benzo, I was banging with a gang of instrumental. Hey friends, welcome to the Bedros Koolian show. I'm Bedros Kulian, and today we've got a great episode for you. And really the topic of today's show is a byproduct of an Instagram post that I had up a couple of weeks ago. and kind of blew up and went viral overnight. And let me read it to you.

And as I read this to you, we're going to do a deep dive. But it is very specific to you if you want a great life, if you want a life of financial freedom, if you want a life of purpose, if you want a life that is full of passion, and if you want a life that is full of fulfillment. So let me read this to you. The post went something like this. I wrote, yeah, the president sucks. interest razor through the roof, the economy is going to shit, and the moral fiber of humanity

is quickly eroding, and both the left and the right are owned and paid for. Now, focusing on these outward problems won't fix your life. But you know what it will? Cutting your wasteful spending, voting with your money, eating better and exercising, taking personal responsibility, being kind and showing more gratitude, focusing on personal development, being a role model to humanity, and making more money. And wouldn't you know it, tens of thousands of people shared this post and commented on it. And I shared this with you guys because I want to unpack this. And I realized as I was writing that post on Instagram that I was speaking what is in the hearts of minds of people. See, oftentimes we want to point to the outward problems in the world. And we want to say that if only

the economy was better, if we had a better president, if the interest rates and the housing market and the moral fiber and the values, well, those are all the outward things. What if we can actually fix things by going inward? And that is what this episode is about. Before I kick it off, though, I want to try something new. I went through the comments on my last. episode and I pulled up a question that somebody had that I think is going to help a lot of you. So this person whose handle on YouTube is CLR asked a question and it was really a kind of a dense question, but it really paraphrasing to this, how do I help people level up in life without them feeling like I'm a dictator? And he went on to say that, you know, I've got all these

friends who I want to help level up. I don't want to just be the guy. that continues to grow, but not help my friends. But I feel like every time I try and help them, they see me as a dictator, they give me pushback, they don't want me to help them. What do I do? Now, he asks a good question, and the reason I think that's a really good question is, look, you and I, we are not only here to develop to our highest self, right? To maximize and self-mastery, but we want to take others along on the journey.

That's a very noble thing to do. But you've got to understand something. Not everyone is ready for that ride. And that is the reality of life. Not everyone is ready to go on the ride of self-mastery, of meeting their higher self, of becoming 2.0. And so sometimes, as much as you want to help people, go on that journey with you and develop

and really tap into their higher self, if they're not ready, they end up being an anchor and they're holding you back. They're holding you down. And in fact, they might even be treating you like he says, as though you're a dictator. And so I'm going to give you a great analogy. that a friend of mine, he's in the Air Force.

Well, he's retired from the Air Force now, but he was in the Air Force, and he was a pararescue jumper. And so what his job was to, when an American plane was shot down behind enemy lines, his job was to, you know, parachute in behind enemy lines and rescue that pilot.

And he said, even when they are shot down in enemy waters, you know, our job is to go in there and rescue these pilots. And I said, man, that's pretty awesome, dude. What a career. He goes, but you want to hear something funny about that? He goes, not everyone wants to be rescued. I'm like, what do you mean?

He goes, well, our job is to, you know, jump out of the helicopter and swim over to that pilot and go, hey, man, I'm here to rescue you. I'm an American. I'm here to rescue you. And he goes, you know, if they're cooperative and they listen, you know, I'm able to rescue them. He goes, but if they're panicking, they've gone limbic, they've gone crazy, they're crawling on all top of me.

And, you know, now I feel like I'm going to drown. He goes, we're taught to give him a shake. give him a strong shake and hopefully snap them out of their state and go, hey man, I'm an American, I'm here, I'm going to save you. And he goes, if they're still going crazy, if they're still screaming and hooting and hollering, and they're crawling on top of me and holding on to me and now there's a risk for me to drown, he goes, we're taught to punch them in the face and swim away. I'm like, what the hell?

And he goes, because that day, we're only going to have one American drown. And I thought that was a very powerful lesson. And it's a harsh reality of life, but it's a very powerful lesson. And here's what I mean about that. If you are ready to flip the switch in your life, and you've decided that either through maybe listening to this show or reading self-help books, or maybe you had some significant life event

where you're like, that's it, I am done being average, I am done being mediocre, I am done with the vices, with the addictions, I'm done with complaining and blaming. I'm going to take on personal responsibility and drive this human to self-mastery. because you flip the switch, you will get there. In time, with work, you will get there.

But the truth is, not everyone is meant to get there. Simply because they may not have the desire. They may want it, but they don't have the desire to do the work. They don't have desire to say no to the vices. They don't have the discipline for that time productivity, the time management that they need. They don't have the consistency. They don't have the focus, and they don't want it.

And each time you're like, dude, go on me. this ride with me. Life is better when you take personal responsibility. Life is better when you focus on self-mastery. Life is better when you stop blaming. Life is better when you start doing hard things and seeing all that you have in terms of mental, emotional capacity. They're like, dude, you're just a loser. I don't want to go on this ride. Why are you being such a dictator? Why are you a party pooper? Why are you the type of person who just always wants to do something different? see most people don't want to be an eagle they'd rather sit there and cluck with the chickens and that's okay if you're ready to soar in life and the other people aren't you have to be able to try and shake them

encourage them hopefully they'll want to go on that self-mastery ride with you but if they don't sometimes you have to punch them in the face my friend and swim away from them and you know my My therapist, I always tell you guys, I work with Kevin Downing, my therapist many years ago when I, when I had that massive panic attack. If you really want to read about my panic attack and how it helped me, that was the significant life event in my life to help me become the better version of myself. You know, I was, I was overweight. I was a CEO of an emerging, emerging fitness franchise, Fit Body Boot Camp.

I felt like I was in over my head. I was in big debt and I didn't know what to do. and so I was actually addicted to pain meds and taking NyQuil every night to fall asleep. And that wasn't good for me. It wasn't good for me mentally, emotionally. It didn't help me in my relationships. And in fact, I lost a lot of good people in my life because of that, right? When I was the 1.0 reckless version of myself.

But when I worked with my therapist, I learned very quickly that you can't help everybody in your life once you're ready to flip the switch. you know if you read my book man up you'll know that um i had that massive panic attack this was 11 years ago i decided that i'm going to become a better human i'm going to become a better leader i'm going to focus on self-mastery i'm going to take like just completely take all responsibility for everything that happens in my life and very quickly my life changed over the next couple of years and if you're ready for that for that adventure in your life that's awesome man i applaud you but the reality is most people aren't so what kevin taught me when i asked kevin my therapist It's this like, dude, I'm trying to help all these other people, but they're like, no, man, I don't need your help.

Don't do this. You're being a dictator. You know, why are you a party poop? The reality of it is some people just want to stay average. They want to stay mediocre and they want to blame everybody else. If only the president was better, if only the economy was better, the housing market, the stock market, if people didn't, if China wouldn't. Well, they'd rather point to all the different things that they can't control as a reason why they are suffering in silence, why they're white. knuckling through life, why they are struggling financially, mentally, emotionally.

Because when we say that we are in control and take personal responsibility and focus on self-mastery, guess what? That's when the buck stops with you, Kevin said. And he goes, not everyone's ready to make that commitment. I said, so what do I do? He goes, you have to learn to edit or eliminate some relationships. I said, give me an example, Kevin. So, well, if you want to eliminate some relationships, maybe the people that used to hang out with when you were 2.0, when you were 1.0 version of yourself, maybe you're not going to be hanging out with these people anymore. Maybe you have to eliminate those relationships and create a new network of people that you want to aspire to be like. And that was a harsh reality for me because I never really thought that I would have to disconnect

from my old friends. These were people that I grew up with. These were people that had things in common with. But more and more, I realized I didn't have much in common with them. And then he said, some people, you may not be able to eliminate a relationship. And so you might have to edit a relationship. And he goes, you know, there might be family members who you love, who you spend time with, birthday parties, weddings, whatever. But they're not ready to evolve. They're not ready to change.

They're not ready to take on the personal responsibility of self-mastery. And so you have to edit that relationship and maybe not talk to them about the things that you are doing in your life that's making you better. because one, they're probably going to shit on you, and two, they're going to feel like you're shitting on them. And so you might need to just talk about superficial stuff. And that was hard for me to hear, guys, because I'm the type of person that wants to take everybody on their journey.

I make a lot of money. I want everyone around me to make a lot of money. I have a positive mental attitude. I want everyone around me to have a positive mental attitude. When I figure out the secrets of self-mastery, and I know that it takes hard work to really break through to the higher-level version of yourself, and I know that time management and morning routines and to have a ritual and to have rules in your life,

like all these things help you become a better person where you have purpose, you have passion, you have fulfillment. I want others to have that and I want to share it with them. But I realized very quickly not everybody wants that. Some people still want to become average. They want to stay mediocre. They want to stay, for lack of a better term, peasants. They want to be controlled.

They want to be docile. and they want to be dependent. They want to stay dumb. They don't want to think for themselves. It's too scary for them to think for themselves. They'd rather be told what to think and how to think by the opposition, by big media, by government, right? And so they are never going to aspire to be like you.

And that sucks because it's like you found the secret to happiness, to success, to fulfillment, to a better life. And you want to share it with them. They're just not interested. And so understand that some people, you'll have to edit that relationship with and not talk to them about those things that you're into if you want to maintain a relationship. And other people, you might have to completely eliminate that relationship because that relationship

phase has expired. Believe it or not, all relationships have an ebb and flow. And some relationships do have an expiration date on them. In fact, most do. Right? And so it's hard to accept that, but that is the reality of life. And I want to let you know that. because if you're ready to soar with the eagles and you want to keep climbing high,

you can't keep hanging around with the chickens. You just simply can't. They're there. Yes, they're all birds, but they're very different caliber of birds. And if you are focused on self-mastering, they are focused on being average, watching television, gossiping, sharing rumors, and you're just like, dude, I want to do better in life. I don't want to just be all about rumors and gossip and just stupid conversations. I don't want to sit on a Sunday and watch all these football teams and sports teams and root for a team that's not even my fucking team.

I don't own the team. Like if they win the Super Bowl, if they win the playoffs, do you get paid? No, absolutely not. Right? You've already figured that out unless I own the team. I'm not even watching the sport. I'm not going to wear another man's name on my back and say, that's my team. Why don't you wear your own name on your own back, right?

You and I know that. These people, they are just plugged in. They are plugged into the system. and they want to be told how to think, how to feel, and they want to blame. And the system, the opposition, wants them that way because then they can tax them more. They can fear them into voting for, you know, voting on stupid things that we don't necessarily be voting on, right? And putting more power in the hands of government.

So let's talk about that, right? So I listed off, I said, hey, if you really want to change the world, in this particular post, I said, if you really want to change the world, start by changing yourself. Because you're not going to be able to impact truly who the president is or the interest rates. Like, you don't control the interest rates. You don't control the economy, the housing market, the stock market. You don't control any of that. What you can do is take personal responsibility. So why don't you start what you can control? Start with the way you eat, the way you work out. Like the thing that you have the most immediate control over is, is the vessel that you travel in, right?

I always believe that we're two parts. We're the human animal, as in this body, and then we are the human being, consciousness. Like the vehicle in this human body is consciousness. And the eyes serve as a windshield that I look through as I navigate this world. And consciousness needs a home, this body. And this body needs to be at its peak performance. What can I control then? I can't control the government.

I can't control the laws. But if I want to help change the world, I need to start becoming the role model type of person I need to be so that when people look at me, they go, I want to be like him. I want to be like him. I want to be like him. And when enough people do that, I begin to impact the world, don't I? And so what if I start sleeping more?

I get my restful sleep. I eat the food that is going to fuel my body and not make it big, fat, sloppy, stretch marky body like most men have. Think about how many men you know that have like these love handles hanging off their side with these nasty ass stretch marks. They're abusing their body. You're abusing the vehicle, the home that you live in. Consciousness lives in a home, this body, and you're abusing that body. And then you know that body is capable of so much strength and agility and speed. Yet you have deconditioned it. You have atrophied your muscles. You have become bones.

organs and fat, gelatinous fat with stretch marks on you and you somehow take pride in that dad bod. There's no room as a role model parent, as a role model man for you to take pride in your dad bod. There isn't. So what if you started to eat better? You started to work out consistently. You got your sleep. You started to journal and have a positive morning routine that set you up to win.

You started stacking wind so that you can build a. up your confidence because if you want to know how to build ultimate confidence in yourself so that you can be an agent of change for humanity, start stacking wins. The number one way to build confidence so that you can own all the responsibility in your life and feel that you have control versus giving control to all these outside elements is to start stacking wins. When you start stacking little wins, day after day, hour after hour, month after month, week after week, you start building a reputation with yourself. You tell your subconscious mind that when I make a promise to myself, I keep it.

And that promise begins to build your reputation. That reputation is your confidence. And when your confidence increases, so does your competency, right? You get better at things. You get good at things. And therefore, you are more confident. The more competent we are, the more confident we are. The more confident we are, the more competent we become.

And that is called the confidence competence loop. You can look that up. It's a thing, right? But if you're the type of person says, I'm going to work out this morning, but then don't. You broke reputation with yourself. You broke trust with yourself. You eroded your confidence. Then I'm going to drink 30 ounces of water when I wake up.

And then you didn't. You hit the snooze button instead. Now I'm going to eat healthy all day long. And then you didn't. You grab those ho-hoes, chase it down with the twinkie. And then stuff like bagels and cream cheese down your gullet like it's going out of style. You get that fat, sloppy, stretch-marky body. What did you do?

You ruined your reputation with yourself. You're stacking L's instead of W's. And if you're stacking L's day after day, you begin to erode your confidence. And a person with low confidence is the type of person that blames everything on society and takes zero personal responsibility. Right?

So if you start doing that and you start showing more kindness, you start showing more gratitude for the things you have, you start drinking water and replacing your soda with water, you let go of the vices that control you that you use to escape reality from, The opposition wants you dependent, addicted, dopey, dumb, docile, broke, insecure because you are easier to control that way. And if you are going to conspire with the opposition by feeding your body poison, by drinking and smoking, vaping, pornography, gambling, binge watching television, sleeping late, waking up hungover, Guess what? You're falling into their game plan.

And it's so easy for you to start blaming them. And they go, you know what? But if you vote me in, I'll raise taxes on the rich because they're rich need to pay more. And you might be like, you know what? That makes sense. That's right. Let's raise taxes on the rich. Let's raise taxes on the rich.

And guess what happened? They raised taxes on the rich. I started to pay more taxes. And that's okay because I know how to make more money. And on the show, I teach you how to make more money. Right? Look at all the episodes of this show. Many of them were dedicated to becoming a financially secure human.

But you have to take action on that. So when they start taxing their rich, guess what they do next? They start taxing you. And you're probably wondering, wait, how do they tax me by inflation? When they raised the price of gas, of food, of transportation, electricity, all the resources that you need. That is a tax on you. When they raise interest rates, your car payment goes up, your house payment. goes up. That is a tax on you. So never trust a government to say that we're going to tax

the rich because it feels good to the average person to hear that, that they will tax the rich and then they will give some of that money to me when in reality then after taxing the rich, they tax you through inflation, raising interest rates, and then you're fucked. So I'm here to tell you that what you need to do is understand that if you take personal responsibility, you can start by doing this. I'm going to read it off to you. Cut your wasteful spending. All the bullshit things that you're wasting money on, cut it out, knock it off, be done with it, right? Because we are at a time in economic history where we are predicting, everyone's predicting that we're going to have a larger global collapse in terms of economy,

greater than the Great Depression, more than the 2008 housing market crash, And so if that's where we're headed, don't you want to be the type of person that can take personal responsibility that is in charge of your money, your mindset, that has some level of self-mastery and emotional discipline? So start by number one, cutting all wasteful spending, because that's where we're headed right now into a massive recession. And make no mistake about it. This doesn't mean that every recession, everyone has to suffer. Think back to the last recession, 2008, 2009 housing market crash. There were still people driving Rolls Royces and Bentley's and BMWs and Mercedes and flying ground and private jets. Maybe you weren't, but you could be this time around if you start thinking for yourself.

So here's a list. One, cut your wasteful spending. Two, vote with your money. If you do not agree with the values and the morals of a company, don't do business with them. if you don't believe with the woke morals and values of Disney or Netflix or Hershey's don't buy the products

don't patronize them right vote with your money eat better and exercise more that is a direct thing you can control to take care of this vehicle this vessel that you live in right be kind and show more gratitude so often it's easy to complain about the things you don't have motherfucker you just woke up this morning

what about that What about that? I think I read some stat that like in the United States every morning, something like 13,000 people just don't wake up. Like normal, healthy people just don't wake up. You're one of the fucking ones that did. How about you show more gratitude for waking up, for living in a great country, for having a roof over your head? If you can begin to show kindness towards others and you can start showing more gratitude, the universe rewards people that show gratitude and show kindness.

consider that. And focus on personal development. You could either gossip, complain, spread rumors, or you can focus on personal development, becoming your higher self, right? And become a role model. If the morals and the values that you want in the world don't exist anymore, start carrying those morals and values, share it with your family, share it with the people around you. Become the change that you want to see in the world, said Gandhi. Become that person. You can't change the world, but you can change yourself. And if you change yourself and you walk up around, you show up as your highest self, guess what happens next? People take notice and you become a role model. That is the fastest way to impact lives is to be a role model human. And of course,

begin to make more money. I can't tell you enough. If you are in debt to the man, if you're in debt to the government, if you owe money, then they have control over you. create financial sovereignty, increase your financial literacy. And when you become the type of person who is willing to start taking personal responsibility where you are no longer a liability, see, the opposition wants to keep you dumb, docile, broke, and dependent on them. They want you to be a liability. I want you to be an asset.

I want you to be an asset to humanity. And an asset to humanity is someone who's fit, who's emotionally, mentally tough, who's financially stout, who lives based off purpose and not pleasure, off duty over desire, you have your core values, you have your morals, you have your non-negotiables. You become the type of person that can't be fucked with, right? I want you to be an asset to humanity. I want you to be uncontrollable. And the most uncontrollable person is the person who has mastered himself.

because once you master yourself, your emotions, your thoughts, your feelings, your money, your relationship, your health, your fitness, your mindset, you become uncontrollable by the opposition. And when you become uncontrollable by the opposition, you become deadly. You become a weapon, a human weapon. And that's what I want for you. So I want you to understand that there's two types of people in this world. Those that are liabilities and the liabilities will always point to outside. factors and figure out what's wrong with the world and why their life sucks and then there are the assets and no matter how tough life gets that person who's an asset says i take personal responsibility i can do something about this i will become the agent of change i will become the role model i will become the first domino that's going to fall and create a massive impact in the community that I serve. And I hope you're willing to be that person. Maybe I'm just a forever optimist.

Maybe I just have like this, this dreamy way of looking at the world. But I really believe that I've been able to do that. If you look at the comments across all the different platforms that the show was on, you see all these people that are changing their lives for the better. I'm not saying because, I mean, there's anything magical about me.

I'm just saying that if I live a role model life, if I keep myself disciplined, if I keep myself structured, if I live a life of purpose and duty, and you like this and you watch the show, you listen to the show, you begin to get motivated, inspired, influenced, and then you begin to lean into action. Your soft habits become hard habits, and you begin to adopt structure, routine, and rituals and rules that set you up to win. And that's what I want for you, because that is when you become uncontrollable.

And so that, my friend, is what this episode is about, that if you want to change the world, start by changing yourself. I'm telling you, if you want to change the world, start by changing yourself. Far too often, we're always trying to tell other people, you know what you should do, you know what we should have, Orange Man Bad, Old Man Bad, you know, like Biden or Trump, have any direct control over your life. Well, if you want to change the United States,

if you want us to become a superpower again, And if you want our Constitution to become whole again, you become a whole person. So always remember this, friends, that averages the enemy. Success is your responsibility. And change can take place in an instant when you are ready to flip the switch. Thank you all for watching. Thank you for all the likes, shares and subscribes. I love you all.

Talk soon. What's the difference between me and you? Back when Q was rolling with Lorenzo and a Benzo. I was banging with a gang of instrumental.