Bedros Keuilian Podcast Show - 044. 4 Dumb Things That Ruin a Man's Life

Episode Date: August 1, 2023

In my newest episode of the BK Show, I’m sharing the mistakes that are sabotaging your success, marriage, health, and happiness. And if you can commit to fixing these areas I guarantee you’ll improve in every aspect of your life. 4 High-Value Skills To Make More Money: https://youtu.be/x5G6wFgAmqM JOIN MY FREE 6-WEEK CHALLENGE: https://bedroskeuilian.com/challenge

And I'm sick and tired of seeing fighter jet-minded people living crop duster lives. Welcome to the Bedros Koolian show. Back when Q was rolling with Lorenzo and a Benzo, I was banging with a gang of instrumental. Hey friends, welcome to the Bedrose-Colian show. I'm Bedros-Colian. And today I want to talk to you about the four dumb mistakes that most men make throughout their life. And these mistakes end up leading to a life of regret later on down the road. See, I'm old enough and I've talked to enough people.

men who are, well, let's just say north of 60, 65, 70 years old. And when I talk to them, these are the four things I hear over and over again. The four dumb mistakes that men make that ultimately end up in regret are these. And I'm going to save the best one here for last. Like this fourth one is really the pinnacle. I'm going to save that for last because I really want to drive it home for you. But the first thing I want to talk to you about is the four of the four dumb mistakes that men make. is the development or lack of development of persuasive communication, right?

Think about this. As a man, you're going to want to be persuasive. You're going to want influence. You're going to want to be able to get your thoughts and your feelings across to an individual or maybe to a group of people or if you run a company to your employees or if you're going to be on stage to the audience. And if you do not know how to communicate persuasively, you'll always feel. find yourself feeling frustrated and you'll always find yourself having to succumb to other people's

ideas because you won't be able to sway others towards your idea. And if you feel that your idea, your way, your method, your philosophy is better, then you have to learn to communicate persuasively. And in the absence of that, I see so many men who are frustrated, who feel like they can say, if they can only say what's on their mind, what's on their heart, they would really be able to impact and influence more people. Well, the byproduct of influence is through communication, right? If you really want to influence people, you have to communicate clearly. And so that means you're going to have to build your vocabulary. That means you're going to have to learn how to debate. You're going to have to learn how to actually give a case and leave emotions out of it,

be logical, be able to take feedback, and then be able to still counter your thoughts, feelings, and reasonings why you're doing things or think that something should be a certain way. And then the absence of that, if you can't get people to want what you're thinking, to feel like they need what you're selling, or to feel like there's a great benefit to changing their mind and going your way, then you'll always feel frustrated. you're a salesperson, you'll always be broke. If you're trying to post on social media, you'll always feel like you're not able to communicate your message. And so you're not getting enough eyeballs and reach. And if you're not getting enough eyeballs in reach, that means you have

a business that's not getting enough leads and prospects, right? So you're not making enough money. And let's face it, money is a vehicle to freedom, to opportunity, to experiences. And money truly does solve the problem of not having money. And that's a really good problem to solve. So understand your ability to become persuasive and to communicate is paramount. And it is a weapon that men need in order to be able to influence, impact, and generate a lot of income. Thing number two that men fail to achieve throughout their life is developing their physical potential, developing your physical prowess. Like being able to develop a lean, athletic, muscular body that can lift, that can run, that can jump, that can fight, that can move, right? Most men these days, unfortunately, are fat, out of shape, have gelatinous titties that you could just slap around in milk, and they wonder why they have low self-esteem.

And every year they go, well, I'll get fit next year. I'll get fit next year. And I talk to all these dudes who are in their 20s and 30s and just have these pasty, gelatinous, pear-shaped bodies. And I'm like, bro, why do you let yourself be this way? And everyone tells me, I want a better body. I want to be fit. But what they essentially say is it's not a priority of them.

What's a higher priority is staying in your mama's basement, playing video games with Cheeto dust all up in your belly button. That's the reality. And in the absence of developing your physical prowess, you're never going to be the confident, capable man that you know you can be. And when you're not confident, you're not going to be attractive. Let's face it, confidence is attractive. Confidence in a man, I respect.

Now, a woman is attracted to a confident man. A man can respect the confident man. And so if two equal people walked into this room right now to offer me something and one was out of shape by 20, 30, 40 pounds, and the other one was built athletically and all of the things were equal in their life, I would completely discount the one who was 20, 30, 30 pounds overweight. And I would do business with that person who looked athletic, who looked lean, who looked fit. Because it tells me something about them, that they respect themselves, that they honor themselves, that they respect their God, their creator, right? If you're not going to do it for yourself, I imagine you would do it at least to be a role model for your kids so that they could be healthy, so that they could achieve the full potentiality

of their physical fitness in life, right? undoubtedly if you have kids, you tell them to eat right and to exercise, but you know that they're not listening to what you're saying because they're really listening to what they're seeing and what they're seeing is a gelatinous pear-shaped dad who's got tithies that are milkable. And I share this with you fellas because if you do not develop your physical potential, you're not a great role model. And if you're into God, if you're into believing that there's a creator, then you are disrespecting your creator, your God. Because I imagine your God did not create you to be fat,

floppy, low energy, negative, low confidence, to be a complainer. Because that is what overweight fat people do. They're just organically more pessimistic. They have less energy. They have less agency. They have less drive. They have less ambition. Do you want that for yourself? or for your kids? Probably not, right? And so I share this with you because it's such a dumb mistake to make by kicking the can of fitness down the road when you know that you can make time for it. So it's not that you don't have time for it, it's that you're not making time for it and it is a very big mistake because not only are you missing out on getting confidence, high self-esteem, the respect from other men and the attraction and the neck breaking from women who see you.

But you are also missing out on the opportunity to build traits, to develop the traits that come with the physique, right? Think about what it takes to build a strong athletic physique. You have to work out consistently every day. Consistency, right? You have to be focused on your diet for, a long time, you have to be disciplined to do the workouts and to eat right, even when you don't feel like it, even when you're tired, even when you didn't sleep well, even when it's cold

outside, even when it's raining, even when it's just too difficult to get out of bed, the person that has the ability to get up and stay focused and consistent is a disciplined motherfucker. And that discipline motherfucker is going to get more done in life because those same traits that took to develop your body by eating right and training consistently are the same traits of discipline, focus, consistency you need to excel in every other area of life. As a spouse, as a father, as a friend, as an entrepreneur. So why would you not develop those traits as you develop your body and your confidence and self-esteem. And add to that one more that if you don't do that, if you kick that can down the road, you are more likely to deal with hypertension, high blood

pressure, diabetes, which many of you are probably already borderline diabetic and you don't even know it, right? And you're going to end up dealing with some kind of heart disease. You're more likely to get cancer. So why put yourself in a predicament where your family is going to have to mourn your loss or have to be around your bed at the hospital because you made the decision to be unfit, undisciplined, unfocused, inconsistent where your diet and your training is concerned? Like imagine what your body is capable of, man. Running, pushing, pulling. So much is available through your body, yet you fail to actually exploit the benefits of it. And I'm telling you, how you do anything is how you do everything.

So if you keep a fat, floppy pear-shaped body, you probably have a fat, floppy, fucked up relationship and bank account and mindset and business. That's just a fact. That's just the realities. Thing number three that men do to really have regret later on in their life is the lack of creating financial freedom. You know, these men who just make enough money to get by. But if something went wrong, like if their car broke down or if they got sick and needed to be hospitalized or if a family member needed financial help, you're not going to be the guy to be there for them. because you're just making money to get by.

And by the way, the way you're getting by is a very low standard of living. Let's face it, right? If you're watching this show, if you're listening to the show, then you know it's about setting higher standards and expectations of yourself. This show is about really becoming the 2.0 version of yourself.

That 1.0 version of yourself is the human animal, the human animal who's impulsive, who's lazy, who's selfish, who's emotional, who reacts instead of, responds, you want to die off the 1.0 version and elevate, transcend to the 2.0 version of you. And in order for that to happen, you've got to do the work. And in this case, you've got to create financial freedom, right? Because if you don't create the financial freedom, what happens when the next pandemic comes? What happens when the next inflation comes? What happens when a family member

need some kind of financial assistance and you love them, you care for them, and you have such guilt and shame that you can't even be there for them. What happens when you can't give your kids and your wife the best possible life? Because you chose mediocrity. You chose to be average. You chose to just get by. You chose to live in the part of town where crime is higher. You chose to fly regular class instead of first class. You chose to put yourself in a position where you're having to eat lower quality of foods that are processed and packaged and poisonous to your body. And yeah, but it's cheaper. Well, it's cheaper because it's also poison.

And you're allowing that into your body, into the body of your kids, simply because you fail to, to focus on financial freedom. And listen, we've talked about this before. If you're like, well, Baderas, can you teach me? Yeah, there's literally dozens of episodes I've done on the Bedroskulian show and then back with the Empire show for four years, 209 episodes focusing on money mastery, business development, financial freedom. But you've got to do the work.

One, you've got to digest and ingest the information. And two, you've got to put the information that you live. learn to action and produce the money. And you have to do that with relentless discipline, focus, and consistency, which goes back to what we talked about with thing number two that men forget to do and fail to do, which is to develop their physical potential. Because if you start developing your physical potential, you become more confident, yes. You become happier because you're really seeing dopamine and all the happy hormone,

serotonin, right? endorphin, but you're also building that consistency, focus, and discipline, which is what you need for thing number three, which is developing financial freedom. Because if you can be disciplined and not be so impulsive in losing focus, if you can be consistent and do the work over and over again, then you will produce the money to give yourself a better life, to be able to help out loved ones, to be able to put your kids into private school, to be able to, to fly to vacations first class or a private jet. Like literally your imagination is the limit.

And what you need now is this burning desire to say enough is enough. And that I will become that guy who can produce that financial freedom so that I can give my family and myself a better life. It's so easy to make excuses. But the housing market crash of 2008. But the pandemic and I lost it all. But the inflation doesn't allow me to make the kind of money that I once made. I get it.

But don't forget that you're just one good idea and one execution away from changing your financial trajectory. You really are. Now, what might stop you is fear of failure and fear of success. And so let's talk about that. Fear of failure is, what if I lose it all? What if I put my neck out and start a business and I lose it all? Well, listen, first off, not every single one of you are meant to start a business and be an entrepreneur. You can be an intrapepreneur, work in someone's organization and do work that brings higher value

and therefore command more pay. That pay can come in the form of bonuses and commissions. It could come in the form of profit share. It could come in a form of having stock options. But what have you done to build traits and skills that are high value? We've got a whole episode dedicated on it. And in fact, Andrew, if you'll do me a favor, you'll put the episode number. I forget the number, but you'll put the link to those four high value skills that make

more money in the description box on YouTube and also on the Bedros-Culian podcast page so that you guys can find that episode and watch and listen to it. Because when you do, you're going to realize there are skill sets that I can develop and deploy in a company that I work for and make a lot of money without having to take those big risks as an entrepreneur. But if you do want to be an entrepreneur or if you are an entrepreneur, what is stopping you from getting to the next level? It is probably a lack of focus, a lack of consistency, and a lack of discipline. And when people hire me for business coaching, every single one of them think they just need more leads and more customers.

When in reality, they're doing too much trivial work that they should be delegating, eliminating, or automating. They're doing $10 to $15 an hour work when you should be focused on the $300, $500, $1,000 an hour work. Right? And so I help them figure out what they can delegate, automate, eliminate. I help them create better structure and systems. I help them dial in their employees and the team they have so that they can leverage those team members even better and expect a greater return on the investment in their team.

And then I teach them how to build their personal brand and drive traffic. Right? Notice the thing that they wanted, I teach them last because if I teach them to build their personal brand and drive traffic first, without having employees that can actually do the sales, deliver the product and service, support the customers, the business is going to topple on itself.

And so I'm asking you, do you have the consistency, discipline, and focus as an entrepreneur to be able to put systems in place, to organize your team, to be able to market, drive traffic,

lead a team, delegate the trivial work that you don't need to do and focus on the critical few things, what I call the 5%. I focus on the 5%, the other 9%, 95% I delegate out to team members who are fully capable and I'm confident in their skills.

Can you say that for your people? And whether you're a one man or woman show or if you have a team, if your team is not bought into your idea, your vision, your mission, then you're always going to feel like you're having to push them along. So they become a burden. They're one more thing on your plate instead of taking things off your plate, driving sales, increasing profitability, they now have become a liability. And that is not what you want. So I'm here to tell you your level of leadership, your level of discipline, focus, and consistency become the lid to your financial success.

When you can level up as a leader and become more disciplined, focused and consistent, the lid goes up. So does revenue. so does all of the work ethic, focus, consistency of all your employees and your team, right? Easy enough. But I'm telling you right now, man, if you're that person that's just putting along trying to live off whatever, 30, 40, 50, 60,000 dollars a year, fuck, if you're trying to live off $100,000 a year today and you've got a family of some kind, I don't know how

you're doing it. And while I respect the fact that you're working hard, at some point you have to say, I have to work smart. That time you're spending on the shitter going through social, media or you sit in your car for an excessive amount of time going through social media, screen sucking, that time that you are wasting, Netflixing, one show after another, binge watching shit, that time that you're on the couch, on the weekends, watching your sports team.

Motherfucker, you don't own that sports team. You're wearing someone else's name on the back of your shirt. You know all their stats, no matter the sport they play, but you're telling me you don't have time to create another side income. That's unfortunate, man. You're full of shit and someone needs to call you out on it. And I want to be that someone because I give a shit. I love you.

I care for you. I want to see you thrive. And I'm sick and tired of seeing fighter jet minded people living crop duster lives. And that's what you are, man. Every single one of you have the ability to be high speed, high performing, make a lot of money, live a high quality life for you and your family, for you to be that generous one to be able to financially, support people. But you've chosen mediocrity. You've chosen the path of least resistance. You've

chosen to be like everybody else, screen sucking off social media or television, accepting a lower quality of life, a lower quality of existence, staying unfit, really not even in love with yourself, and unable to communicate your thoughts and feelings. And therefore, you've got no influence and no ability to persuade anyone. And so let's now dive into the fourth and final thing, the dumb mistakes that men make that later regret massively in life, and that is self-mastery. Men who don't achieve self-mastery don't put in the time and effort to achieve self-mastery are the most depressed, anxious, and pathetic men. Think about this for a moment. Every single one of us have had some kind of trauma, chaos, adversity, pain, frustration in our life that has left a mental

or emotional scar on you. And that is like limping through life metaphorically and not being able to achieve a high level of happiness, a high level of stoicism, a high level of self-development, right? And therefore, you have a lower vibrational frequency because depression, anxiety, shame, regret, all those things on that frequency chart of human vibrational frequency come very, very low. Self-mastery, joy, happiness, fulfillment, development of purpose resonate at a much higher frequency. But if you've never worked through your traumas, whether you've been physically abused, you've been mentally abused, maybe you came from another country and you were picked on for being a foreigner.

Whether you're, look, in my case, I was sexually abused, man. I was sexually abused in Armenia as a little boy by two older boys. And that left a lot of trauma. That left a lot of self-hate. That made me very self-destructive. So imagine trying to achieve success. Imagine trying to achieve mastery. Imagine trying to build a family and start a relationship when you don't even love yourself.

you feel like you're broken, you feel like you're dirty, you feel like you're unworthy of love. And it doesn't matter if it's been sexual abuse, physical abuse, mental abuse, or emotional abuse. The same part of your brain lights up, that fight or flight system that says, I'm not worthy. I should run. And I should not run towards my desire. I should run away from my desires. And that's how you begin to self-sabotage. That's how you begin to use vices like vape pens and alcohol.

and drugs and pornography and gambling to escape your reality. I know because I've lived that life. And I'm telling you right now, as I begin to face my traumas and I worked with a therapist and I focused on self-development. I focused on becoming the highest version of myself. I focused on developing emotional discipline and self-control. all of a sudden the world opened up to me. All of a sudden, it's like opportunities were coming.

It's like I was manifesting the life that I wanted by healing the traumas that I was trying to escape from. And I'm here to tell you, bro, that unless you begin to focus on self-mastery, not just reading about it, watching videos, and then understanding what trauma is, but actually doing the work to heal, to forgive, to forgive,

get to move on. There was a time that I couldn't even talk about being sexually abused. Now I can talk about it on podcasts, on YouTube, in interviews, on stage. It doesn't matter because it is not my identity anymore. It is not who I am anymore. I used to feel like my identity was of someone who was broken, unlovable, and unworthy. So how can you achieve any level of success and happiness and financial freedom and and try and get jacked and shredded and lean and athletic or try and develop the ability to communicate eloquently when you hate yourself and and you might say well dude I've experienced abuse and I've experienced trauma and I've had the pain and adversity but I'm fine I'm here to tell you probably not because if I asked her loved ones

the people around you, they probably tell me a different story. The way you describe being fine is you've just compartmentalized. You've put it away, right? You don't think about it. But that doesn't mean it's not there in your subconscious, whispering in your ear. You know, I often talk about the inner critic and the inner advocate. An unresolved, unprocessed trauma leads to turning up the volume on your inner critic. that voice that has doubt and fear and uncertainty and says you're not good enough and that you can't

and others are smarter and better than you, that you're a fake, a phony, a fraud, an imposter. That is your inner critic. That critic is a byproduct of trauma that you've experienced. And as you heal and process through trauma, you turn down the volume on your inner critic and you turn up the volume on your inner advocate who's rooting for you, who loves you, who says you can do it, who says you fell once, get up and try again. And that's what we're missing, right? And I know this from firsthand.

So if you're willing, if you are willing to focus on those four dumb mistakes that men make, if you're willing to fix those areas of your life, I'm telling you, every category of your life will become infinitely better. Your relationships, your health, you'll sleep better, your mindset, you'll make more money, like all of a sudden opportunities open up to you and I'm not a woo-woo type of guy I don't go around you know hugging trees and and and fucking around with sound bowls trying to meditate all while doing that that's not me I'm just telling you that there's a formula to success happiness financial freedom and developing your purpose and meaning and that formula is to not avoid

these four things but it is to attack these four things become a persuasive community communicator. Google it. Look it up. Take the courses, the classes. There's apps. I literally have apps on my phone. And before you go, hey, what app? Just go into your fucking app platform and just type how to increase my vocabulary and like 20 different apps will come up. Find the one with the best reviews and download it. And every day learn three to five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten words. What they mean. What they are. How can you use them? Watch YouTube videos on how to be more persuasive on how to sell, how to overcome objections, on how to plea a case. Like there's free content out there, there's books out there, there's courses out there,

there's coaches out there that teach this stuff. But if you are not willing to be persuasive, if you are not willing to develop your physical potential, and by the way, same thing with your physical potential. I don't know what to eat. I don't know what kind of workouts to do. All right, then, just go to battle ready fit.com and guess what? apply to get a battle ready coach who's going to get you battle ready, meaning fit and athletic by dialing in your nutrition, your workouts, and your mindset, and coaching you for 90 days

straight for the battle of life, right? And you can go to battle ready fit or you can look up free workouts on YouTube. You can, you can, there's online coaches everywhere, right? But you got to pay to play. And if you're putting your money elsewhere, divert it and put your money in a place where you're going to get a higher return on investment by being a persuasive communicator by developing your physical potential like becoming your best dietitian and you becoming your best coach and trainer like you can learn about your body by paying someone else who was already an expert and then finally developing and creating financial freedom by developing those high income skills

by not wasting time and actually going and using your free time that you're just getting stupid by watching television and screen sucking on social media and rooting for some bullshit team. That's not even your team and you call it my team and you know your stats. Fuck you. Create a side income, bro, where you can generate another five or ten grand a month easily. In two days a week, you can create some kind of a side income where you can do that from fucking Amazon drop. shipping to to creating a course that you can sell to building a social media following and then becoming an affiliate of products and services where you don't even

have to sell your own product or service you just promote other people's product and services and get commission like it's it's an endless opportunity to make money out there but you first have to let go of the excuses and grab on to discipline focus and consistency because in the absence of those three things because you become very impulsive and you screen suck and waste time and make excuses. And I don't know any rich financially well-off person that is a master of excuses. So like you've mastered making excuses, you need a master financial freedom. And then finally, self-mastery.

Like do the work, work with the therapist, read the books, start the journaling. Like really go inward and see where the trauma, the pain is. and forgive those you need to forgive and forget those that you need to forget and eliminate the toxic people out of your life. And I'll tell you why you got to eliminate the toxic people out of your life. Because if you are hanging around with people who are not where you want to be or who are, if you're trying to quit drinking and you got homies that are going out drinking all the time, there's something called co-regulation, which really means you just begin to adopt and adapt

the feelings, the energy, the life pattern of the people around you. And so if your friends and coworkers are not living the congruent life that you want, but you're like, yeah, but my life's going to be different, but they're still my friend, so I'm going to hang out with them. I'm going to tell you're not because through the process of co-regulation, you will begin to take on their traits and habits and behaviors and lifestyle. That's just how it is. I wish I could tell you different, but I'd be lying to you.

Right? This is why like when you, you know, a dog, a dog is usually happy. A dog is very loyal. A dog is very kind, right? Your pet. And you always hear about study after study coming out that when someone has a pet, a cat, a dog, the closer you are to that pet physically within proximity, the lower your blood pressure, the lower your stress. What's happening there? It is co-regulation, right? You're co-regulating. When you're an uptight, tense, angry, tightly wound person and you pick up a baby and that baby starts crying, what is happening? That baby might be your own baby, but it starts crying because it could feel the tension, the energy. That baby is co-regulating, right? And so understand that you have to clean up your environment. You have to clean up your side of the street. Don't worry about other people's side of the street. you focus on your side of the street first clean up your side of the street organize it develop it

have a structure a morning routine all these things are going to lead to higher levels of self-mastery work through your trauma process through it heal and when you do what ends up happening is you become an agent of change like people can tell like man this person can speak well they're physically developed and I respect them for what it takes to be physically developed. You can tell they're financially well-off and they're generous with their money. And you can tell they're emotionally healthy. They've achieved some level of self-mastery and they're constantly doing the work. And that is the difference between winners and losers, my friend.

And I want you to avoid the four mistakes and lean into doing these things. They're going to make you the 2.0 version of yourself. Guys, I'm really looking forward to seeing you at Bedros Coolean Live on September 8th and 9th. And I want to end this episode by letting you know what I always let you know, which is average as the enemy, that success is your responsibility. And change can take place in an instant when you decide to flip the switch. I'll see you next time. What's the difference between me and you? Back when Q was rolling with Lorenzo and a Benzo.

I was banging with a gang of instrumental.