Bedros Keuilian Podcast Show - 054. The Ultimate Mindset Shift You Need To Succeed

Episode Date: October 10, 2023

Many individuals drift through life anchored to the past, reminiscing about the “good ol’ days”. But if you’re always looking to the past, you will never accomplish anything great in the future. In this episode, I’m going to show you the mindset I’ve used to break free of “remember whens” and start living a life of “what's next”. So that you can push boundaries, challenge yourself, and refuse to let life pass you by. REGISTER FOR THE LEGACY TRIBE https://bedroskeuilian.com/legacytribe JOIN MY FREE 6-WEEK CHALLENGE https://bedroskeuilian.com/challenge TruLean Supplements | https://www.trulean.com/pages/bedros Get 50% Off Trulean Subcribe & Save Bundle Use Code: BEDROS Few Will Hunt Apparel | https://fewwillhunt.com/ Get 15% Off Your Entire Order Use Code: BEDROS

For Christ's sake, never be the person who says my life has peaked. The best of me is behind me. And you're always hand-wringing and talking about good old times. Having that remember when conversation is the lowest form of conversation. Welcome to the Bedros Koolian show. Back when Q was rolling with Lorenzo and a Benzo, I was banging with a gang of instrumental. Hey friends, welcome to the Bedros Koolian show. I'm Bedros Kulian, and we've got a great episode for you today.

I want to actually kick it off with a quote from Tony Soprano. If you've ever watched The Sopranos, great, great TV show, I think it was like late 90s, maybe early 2000s. There's an episode where in this particular scene, Tony Soprano, who's a mob boss, says this. He says, the lowest form of conversation that any two people can have is remember when, right? So in other words, remember when is the lowest form of conversation that any two people can have. And what he means by that is if you have to go back to your memories of, man, remember when, we had hair in college. Remember when in college we were Jack?

Remember when in high school? I played football and I was athletic. Remember when? All these remember whens? That means you've died. Like, and so when I heard that, I kind of started to adopt this mindset of, what if I just never peek, right?

Because that's the thing. The reason people have died within and just become this robot, this machine that goes to work, gets their coffee, they get happy about donut days at the school, you know, luncheon and whatever it is. Like I got a friend who's a psychologist, like a counselor at a junior high out here in Southern California. And man, he says that when in the teacher's lounge every Friday, the principal brings a box of donuts, like it is the highlight of all the teachers.

They talk about which donuts the best, and they just grab it, and they're jumping over each other to grab the donut that they want, and they eat it, and they chase it down with coffee, and they grab another donut. Like, that is literally living a dead life. Like, stuffing yourself with the lowest form of carbohydrates and sugar and then going back to teach a class, right? And I don't want that for you. And so I adopted this mindset, guys, I've adopted this mindset, and I talk about in my book, Man Up, the never peak mindset. Because I said, what if I just never peek? What if I start carrying myself in a way that I'm always learning new things? And you know, you guys know this.

I do those six week challenges. And the reason I continue to do these six week challenges, the first one was that marathon challenge. I wanted to train for six weeks and run a marathon. You know, I always told myself that, well, God's designed me to lift weights. I'm supposed to be big and jacked. I'm not a runner. I'm not made to run. I'm six foot, 230 pounds.

Like, that's not necessarily a long distance runner's physique. and it's so easy to put yourself in a box in so many ways. It's so easy to go, well, I'm over 30 now. I don't have the ambition to go work out. Or I'm over 40 now. I guess I don't have to maintain my hygiene, you know, and that's why you see sloppy people everywhere, right? You don't have to be like that.

And so I adopted this mindset early on. I was like, I'm going to live the never peak life. And I talked about it in my book, Man Up. And I said, I ran that six week challenge. I trained for six weeks. a marathon coach, trained for six weeks, ran the San Diego marathon, and I broke through so many limiting beliefs. I broke through so many seals in my life because all of a sudden I was like, bam, I had said I'm not a runner. I'm not conditioned to run. I'm not made to run. I don't have the

physique that a runner has, but I was able to train for six weeks, like six short weeks. And I ran a marathon, 26.2 miles. And in fact, by the way, I give that challenge away. If you want to really challenge yourself, break through some limiting beliefs and see that you can do whatever the you put your mind at heart to like I give you the entire training program for free I give you the nutrition and recovery program for free and I added my own six weeks of mindset motivation videos as well just go to bedroscooling.com forward slash challenge and you can get the 26.2 challenge you can download it it's free cost you nothing bedrosc cooling.com forward slash challenge but man I tell you that because the never peak mentality that I talk about in my book is

what can you do that constantly grow? The Japanese have a term called kizen. Kaizen means forever improving and evolving to your better version, to your better self. Now here on the BK show, we talk about going from 1.0 to the 2.0 self, right? Going from the human animal that's impulsive, that's greedy, that's selfish, that is reactive, and transcending to the 2.0 self to the human being who's not like a human animal. but is connected to consciousness, is able to witness himself when he is in a place of stress, anxiety, depression, and is able to course correct and go, ah, the reason I'm feeling this way is because

my conscience is telling me that I'm living incongruently with the man that I should be, and therefore I'm feeling anxiety. This is how my conscience reminds me that I'm not living the congruent life that I should. I'm not aligned with the value. that I hold true to myself. That's what anxiety depression is. And when you live the never peak lifestyle, you realize that, all right, I'm going to live by my core values.

I'm going to be congruent with the man that I say I am. And oh, by the way, I'm going to constantly develop new skills, traits, abilities, et cetera. Because I don't want to be that guy. I'm currently 49 years old. I don't want to be that guy at 59, 69, 69, 89, to go, yeah, I remember back in my 30s,

I could bench this and squat that, but not anymore. Like, all right, I may not be able to fucking rep out three plates on a bench. I may not be able to squat out three plates on a bench or on a squat rack. But you know what I could do? I could speak five, six, seven, ten different languages when I'm in my late 60s, 70s and 80s, right? I might have a whole different coaching program where I'm working with just a different level of entrepreneurs. I might be an investor in so many different companies. that I've taken equity in and coached them and mentor them,

then I might have this mission that's even far greater than the current missions that I'm running with the Squire program, the project, or, you know, Shrine of Children's Hospital or Toys for Tots, Compassion International. But I will never peak. That is the attitude. And so I wanna share with you guys,

how do you adopt this never peak mindset so that you know that, and in my book, by the way, I need to tell you, I say, never peak the best is yet to come. And just because my physical strength, strength might diminish does not mean that my mental capacity can't improve, that my ability to orate, to speak, to deliver a concise message cannot improve. My ability to speak many languages, my ability to connect with an even higher version of myself, my ability to mentor tens of millions of people because I will have spent decades doing this show. I'll have spent

decades doing the show and building it into the system, the machine that forces men to wake up, level up, transcend to their higher self. Like the best of me is still yet to come. Never peaked the best is yet to come. So how do you do that? Right. And so I started taking inventory. Like, all right, so how did I adopt this mindset? Well, one, I was watching sopranos some time ago, long ago. And I was like, you know what? He's right. You know, the fact is that having that remember when conversation is the lowest form of conversation. Like the conversation I want to have is like, I want to say like, hey, Ed, you know, like, where are you and the family traveling to now? You know, what, what is a new hobby that you've taken on? What, what belt do you have in

jiu-jitsu now? Like, what, what fleet of cars are you building out? I want to be able to have conversations that show me Ed's evolution as a man, as a father, as a husband, as a leader, right? I want my friend to develop because I want to continue to develop. And I want the people around me to develop because we're a tribe. And the tribe is as weak as the weakest person. And so if you are living this mindset that the best of you is behind you, that you were now just working for the man.

paying your taxes, doing your nine to five, and barely getting by, and you've succumbed to mediocrity, and you hope that your kids live a better life than you. Well, hope is not a plan, my friend. Hope is simply not a plan. What is a plan is to go, all right, I get it. As a human, I'm adaptable. And this is exactly what ran through my mind. Number one, I was like, I'm adaptable. I was able to train for six weeks and run a marathon. Like, did it hurt? Yes. Was I uncomfortable? Absolutely. Was I sore? Yes, for about a month and a half. Was I massively proud of myself because I broke through so many seals as a husband, as a father, as a entrepreneur, as a man, as a leader? Yeah, you would think that, well, that's a physical experience. How did you

become better in all these other categories of life? Because you are connected to other areas of your life. How you do anything is how you do everything. And so, in, Improvement in one category of life usually creates improvement and evolution and other areas of your life. Just like if you start sucking in one area of your life, like let's say your marriage is suffering. Let's say that you and your wife are just two ships passing in the night. Let's say that there is no date nights. Let's say that you guys have no meaningful conversations. Let's say that it almost feels like you guys are roommates hanging out, right?

that marriage is falling apart well i bet i could look into your bank account and see that your bank account is a reflection of your marriage i bet i can look at your health and see that your body and your mind are a reflection of your poor marriage i could see how you father your children and see that it is a reflection of your marriage i could see how you run your business and see that is a reflection of your poor marriage and so since every area of your life is connected, then doesn't it make sense to live a never peak lifestyle, knowing that the best is yet to come? Listen, I stopped taking all of those and I started taking this, the truly wellness shot.

In fact, I created this because I was sick and tired of every morning taking 11 different supplements like turmeric, ginger, cayenne pepper, black pepper, vitamin B12, echinacea, vitamin C, zinc, right? Think about this. If you want to improve your immune substance. If you want to fight off inflammation in your body so that you have better gut health, you have more energy, your joints don't hurt, then you're going to want to take all those supplements. And I was taking it twice a day every day. And so when we created the truly wellness shot, we cut no corners and we spared no expense.

And so in this, you've got something that's going to not only help boost your immune system, but also fight off inflammation. Because if you're a high performer and if you want to get more done, if you want to stay more focused, if you want to make sure that you don't get sick as frequently, Then you have to care about your immune system and you have to fight off inflammation, especially if you're an entrepreneur and you're high performing and you have a stressful workday from time to time, right? And so here's what I want you to do. You're going to click on the link in the description box or go to truleen.com and you're going to use the code word bedros. And when you use my name, Bedros, you'll get 50% off your first subscribe and save bundle. For whatever reason, you don't like the Truling Wellness shot, which I have yet to meet anyone who doesn't. Then let us know in your first 30 days.

We'll give you full refund, part ways as friends. Fair enough. Go check it out. Use the code word bedros. Get 50% off. And then imposing your will on the universe to make it so. Like that's the thing, is not giving up. So one, I was like, all right, turns out I can develop new skills, new traits, new habits, new hobbies, new abilities.

Like just two years ago, I learned to one wheel. If you don't know what the one wheel is, this fucking awesome thing. So one of my six-week challenges about eight years ago was to learn to surf. I was deathly afraid of the ocean. My dad had told me that never go in a body of water, not a lake, not an ocean, because you might drown. My dad's older brother in Armenia had drowned, right? So I had an uncle that had drowned in the lake.

And so he said, any body of water is dangerous, we're not good in it. So I just kind of bought the fact that I'm not supposed to be a good swimmer, that even though I live in Southern California, when I go to the beach, I might just kind of stand in the surf there, let the waves kind of hit my knees and thighs and maybe upper body. But I'm not going to go deep into the water, let alone try and surf. I was like, what am I doing? I live in Southern California. People would die to live here. I have some of the best surf out here. Yet I'm not willing to test out my ability to surf because it sure looks fun watching people surfing on a board and they're just gliding on water. I'd like that experience.

And so I hired a surf instructor and I did another six-week challenge. And like all my six-week challenges, three times a week, two hours at a time for six weeks straight, I learned to surf. And yesterday somebody was asking me, they go, well, unlike a marathon training, you know, like you can go run three times a week. And yeah, there might be rain or it might be a little hot. But for the most part, nothing changes. The ocean, on the other hand, during your six-week training,

challenge does change. You might be dealing with seven, eight, nine foot waves. What did you do if that was one of your training days? I said, well, I told the instructor, make sure I don't drown. Like, teach me not to drown. What happens if I'm surfing and I, there's big waves. Teach me to drown. That's what I learned those days. And the instructor had asked me, he said, hey, what about the days that there are no waves? Sometimes the ocean is pretty much flat. I don't know if you know this, but the ocean could be flat like a lake. It'll just have little ripples and that's it. And where I surf is in Dana Point in Doheny. I surf Hammerhead and Boneyard in Dana Point.

I longboard. I got nine and a half and ten foot boards. And he goes, dude, you know, if we go there early in the morning like you want three days a week, sometimes depending on what time of the month, the tide is out. That means you're close to the rocks. Because in Dana Point, there's not a lot of sand underwater. There's actually a lot of rocks. he goes one your fin on your board is going to get all busted up and two if you fall off that board

you're not landing in water well you are but it's a very shallow water and the rocks are right there I was like well teach me how to land properly right and I said if there are no waves then teach me how to pedal let's use that entire two hour session to teach me how to paddle I'll just go out far into the ocean and teach me how to paddle properly because you have to paddle to get to the same speed as the wave so that you can slide down the wave with your board and then pop up, you do a burpee, you pop up, and you ride that beautiful wave in, right? And then on the days during that six-week challenge where the wave was just right, three, four, maybe four and a half foot waves, I'd be able to consistently catch waves.

And I would feel that stoke. I would feel so amazing, writing a 7,500-yard wave all the way in, right? Like, what a ride, man. But I took something that I was deathly afraid of, the ocean, because I was conditioned by my dad, not in the bad way he just was looking out for me but he was like dude the ocean like is dangerous for us i was like oh my god you're right no it's not like you've got a 10 foot board and it's leashed to your ankle you've got a 10 foot buoyancy device right like literally attached to you so long as you're holding onto your board you should be all right yeah you have to look out for other surfers and other boards

and have i had friends that i've been surfing with and their head gets cut by a fin you hear these stories, yes, it happens. You know, I've tore up the bottom of my foot one time because I just landed in a weird way. There was a jagged rock. It stabbed my foot. I was a mess. I was bleeding. You know, I had a sting race. I literally stabbed me with its tail in my foot, you know, like horrible experience. But guess what? I love surfing and I stuck to it. But the idea is this never peak mindset that I will continue to evolve and become the next best, best, greatest version of myself. And I will do that by learning a new language, learning to dance, learning to play instruments and equipment, learning to do improv.

I've taken improv classes because I wanted to become a better storyteller. I wanted to become more comedic in my timing, right? I wanted to get better in front of an audience because I'm a introvert. And I realize what I do, especially when I speak on stage in front of hundreds or thousands of people, that is an extroverts world. and an introvert taking the stage, I have to flip the switch and go into that headspace that I've been able to develop where I can be an extrovert on stage. It's easier here in the studio.

There's just one, two, four of us in here, right? Five of us with me. But when I'm on stage and there's thousands, holy cow, that's overwhelming. But guess what? I said, I'm going to be a great stage speaker. I'm going to be one of the best stage speakers where people pay me $50,000 for a talk. And I share this with you because this is me. an immigrant, a kid that came from a communist country who had to learn the English language,

who had ADD, who still have ADD and OCD. But today those are superpowers, man. To me, I don't look at that as a crippling learning disability. I don't want it managed with medication. Man, I could lock on. My OCD helps me lock on to whatever my goals are and I stay fiercely focused. And my ADD has allowed me to think on so many different. levels. My brain thinks on so many different levels. Sure, is it harder to have impulse control? Yep.

But I like that. I want to do some hard things. I don't want life to come easily to me. When you've got ADD and you don't condition yourself to stay focused, impulse control becomes an issue. I want to be able to test myself. And so guys, this is my plea to you. This is what I'm asking you to do is to adopt a never peak mindset. Step number one is to realize that you, are adaptable and you can constantly grow, evolve, change, and improve. It may not be in the category of fitness, right, because as we get older, our body breaks down. But you can be a better speaker, a more comedic speaker. You could tell better stories. You could learn new languages. You can travel. You can develop new hobbies and skills, right? Whether it's jujitsu or or boxing,

gosh, you could go and take on literally the ability, develop the ability to be a marksman, to be able to shoot, bow hunt. Like, think of all the things you could do so that you are a very interesting man. And at the end of the day, isn't that what it's about? If you remember the Dosecchi's man, he was the most interesting man in the world. You want to be an interesting man.

Maybe you want to be a great poker player. Maybe you want to be one of the best blackjack players on the planet. Like, go hire someone, get a coach, get a mentor, and be that person. But for Christ's sake, never be the person who says, my life has peaked, The best of me is behind me, and you're always hand-wringing and talking about the good old times that are back behind you.

Ain't nothing wrong. There is nothing wrong with talking about, hey, remember when we had that good time doing this in Vegas, et cetera, or having this good time at this picnic or camping? Ain't nothing wrong with recalling good experiences. There's something massively wrong if all you're doing is living in the past and never giving yourself newer, better, more challenging hobbies, experiences, abilities. traits and skills because then you begin to degenerate. And there's something called stagnation and generativity. Now, I want to end on this topic. When a man starts reaching his late 30s,

early 40s, he enters a new phase of life. This is psychologically and scientifically proven, and they've created a category for this. This category of life for a man in his late 30s, early 40s, He comes to one of two places. Stagnation or generativity. Stagnation is when you go, well, you know, I worked. I was an athlete in high school. I went to college and I was great at what I did. I had a job.

I had a career. I had businesses. But now my kids are older. They're gone. I don't feel I'm doing anything. I'm just living on this hamster wheel doing the same thing every single day, not really paying it forward. See, a man especially has a need to pay it forward to the next generation

ahead of him, right? And the reason is because that is the only way we can leave a legacy behind is by sharing with others, right? This is why people want to write books. This is why leaders create statues and monuments to themselves. This is why in any city, you might see, you know, MLK Boulevard, right, as a nod to Martin Luther King. You might see Caesar Chavez Highway. You might see, you know, this section of this freeway is dedicated to an old mayor or an old police chief. Like people want to leave men, especially want to leave a legacy behind. It is in our DNA. And so for you to do that, you must have generativity.

You must want to lean into becoming the best version of yourself and constantly reinventing yourself and recreating yourself and developing new hobby, skills, traits, abilities, so that you are still interesting to people who are younger than you and who want to get motivated, inspired, and want to learn from you. Or the alternative is stagnation. The best of you is behind you. It's all downhill from here. You're entering your 40s.

And you're just like, I'm a hamster on a wheel, man. I do the same thing over and over again, pay my taxes, barely eat by. Nothing really excites me. I have to check my pulse every now and again to see if I'm alive. And I just escape from my reality through alcohol and smoking weed and vape. You know, people are shocked when they're like, wait, you don't smoke weed anymore? Nope. You don't drink anymore?

Not even occasionally. now and again, nope, nope, nope. I do nothing that is a vice of escape. Yeah, but don't you want to be in a creative headspace when you smoke a joint? I am in the most creative headspace after a great workout and I go walking at Ayala Park and I get that sun on my body and I'm listening to my favorite music. I got the endorphins and the dopamine going. That is when I grab my notepad here for you guys and I start writing ideas for my next episode, my next talk, for my next business, for my next product, for how I want to coach and mentor my family. I don't need to smoke or drink or snort something in order to get to that higher place.

What about ayahuasca, Badros? No, I don't want to drink some fucking Peruvian soup that's going to make me throw up all over myself and hallucinate. You can do that, but I don't want to do that. I want to be in a sound state of mind, and I want to use my natural abilities to go to such a high state organically that I could be at the same place that you have to go to chemically. And if you're willing to do that, my friend, then you are going to live a never peak mindset. Never peak.

The best is yet to come. Guys, thank you for watching and listening to this show. Thank you for subscribing, for sharing, for commenting. Let me know what it is that you want to do next in terms of a challenge to be able to put yourself in a place of constant kaizen growth evolution in the comments of that YouTube show that you're watching this on YouTube

and also always remember this that average is the enemy that success is your responsibility and change can take place in an instant when you decide to flip the switch. We'll see you guys next time. Back when Q was rolling with Lorenzo and a Benzo I was banging with a gang of instrumental.