Bedros Keuilian Podcast Show - 069. How To Reinvent Yourself

Episode Date: January 23, 2024

In this episode of the Bedros Keuilian Show, we're tearing down the limiting narratives that have been holding you down. Showing you how the story you tell yourself influences every aspect of your life. And how you can shed the false identity others have given you and step into a narrative that helps you transform into the 2.0 self. REGISTER FOR THE LEGACY TRIBE Get the Life, Money, Meaning & Impact You Deserve https://bedroskeuilian.com/legacytribe SUBSCRIBE TO DOMINATION DOWNLOAD A Weekly Newsletter to Help You Dominate in Business & Life https://bedroskeuilian.com/ JOIN MY FREE 6-WEEK CHALLENGE: Transform into a Purpose-Driven Man https://bedroskeuilian.com/challenge TruLean Supplements | https://www.trulean.com/pages/bedros Get 50% Off Trulean Subscribe & Save Bundle Use Code: BEDROS Few Will Hunt Apparel | https://fewwillhunt.com/ Get 20% Off Your Entire Order Use Code: BEDROS BECOME A MODERN DAY KNIGHT: Join the MDK Project https://www.themdkproject.com/ PODCAST EPISODES: https://bedroskeuilian.com/podcast/ STAY CONNECTED: Website | https://bedroskeuilian.com/ Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/bedroskeuilian/ LinkedIn | https://www.linkedin.com/in/bedroskeuilian Twitter | https://twitter.com/bedroskeuilian

The story that you tell yourself ends up creating your belief systems. Welcome to the Bedros Koolian show. Back when Q was rolling with Lorenzo and a Benzo, I was banging with a gang of instrumental. You are not who you think you are. Hey friends, welcome to the Bedros Koolian show. I'm Bedros Koolian. Today we've got a great show teed up for you. All right, let's get started.

First off, they lied to me. They told me that Jiu-Jitsu is the gentle martial arts. They are absolute liars. My shoulder is killing me. My elbow is killing me. And as you can see, my lip is busted from rolling yesterday. But it is the gentle martial art, apparently, because each time I finish rolling,

I feel like I've been hit by a semi-truck. So there you go. And Ed, did this happen to you when you started jiu-jitsu? Did you just, like, consume all of you where you're watching YouTube videos and trying to figure out angles and positions and escapes? That's exactly where I am right now, bro. Like, I'll put my phone in the truck.

And as soon as it connects to Bluetooth, it'll be like someone on YouTube talking about how to get out of an arm bar, how to get out of an Americana. And then when I try it on the mats, I am very quickly humbled by Coach Mike. Anyways, guys, let's get started today. I've got something really cool to talk to you about, which is about your identity, which is why I teed it off by saying you are not who you think you are. Hear me out on this. And what I want to talk to you about is your identity, because your identity determines who you are. or at least who you think you are and your identity also determines your outcome, right? Because if you think you're a loser, if you think you're a deadbeat, if you think that you're

someone not worthy, if you think that you are lesser than everyone else, then you are going to manifest that life, don't you think so? And so a lot of my teachings that I do when I do keynote speeches everywhere is either about money and self-mastery or developing the right identity. because most of you, most of us, and I remember when I did this, I carried a false identity. And what is your false identity? Well, odds are things have happened to you. You've been traumatized. You've been abused.

You've been beat up. Maybe like me, you were sexually abused. Maybe you came to this country as a foreigner like I did. Maybe you were involved in less than legal stuff like I was as a young man. And so you created this false identity like you are lower and lesser and undeserving of love and abundance, right? And I don't know if you know this or not, but when you put on a false identity, in other words, when you have this false perception of yourself, you begin to find evidence to reinforce that perception, right? I'll give you a great example. A good friend of

mine many, many, many years ago, decades ago, his name is Torrance. We went to junior high and high school together. He's a black dude, and he was like, man, everyone's racist. Everyone's racist. And I was like, dude, you know, we hang out all the time. I don't see a lot of racist people around right now. Like we're in Southern California. It's not like we're in the South. It's in the 90s.

And I certainly understand there's racism. I certainly experienced it myself coming to this country, right? People telling me to go back to my own country. You don't belong here. You guys are stealing all the great jobs that us Americans need to have, et cetera, whatever. Like, I understand there's that. And I understand there's racism against blacks or against, whatever nationality.

But when I met his dad, who had truly experienced racism, having come from the South and moving into California, I realized that even though California is a melting pot, and it's not lost on me, that there's racism everywhere still, that he had developed that false identity. My friend Torrance had developed that false identity that racism is everywhere. And so when we'd go through the lunch line or we'd go to the beach together or We ended up getting pulled over by the cops. And I'm in the car with him. And he's like, see, see, that was racist.

I was like, no, bro. They were just, like, upset at us because we're, like, young kids being jackasses, right? But it was a false identity. Only years later, it's funny, I got a message from him saying, like, dude, you were absolutely right about that. And here's a deal. Like, that was when I started to, when I say young kids,

like we were in our 20s at that point because after high school, we kept in contact, et cetera. But as I started to develop and realize that, no, there is a such thing as our false identity that we carry and then we begin to look for evidence. And that's the problem, right? When you think that someone is out to get you, you will find people hiding in bushes or you will find something suspicious or you will carry extra paranoia with you. And if you're like, hey, the world is safe and everything's fine, then you will carry yourself accordingly. Right. So with that said, let's talk about your identity and how to shed your false identity because it is your identity, your false identity that you're carrying.

right now that is limiting your growth, your happiness, your potential, your ability to earn, your ability to have the relationship that you want, to have the health and fitness and really self-development that you're looking for in life. So let's get going. Where does the false identity come from, right? Typically comes from the story that you either told yourself, experienced, or have been told, right? In my friend Torrance's case, he was told a story of true, racist experiences that his father had experienced, right? Like racist events that his father had experienced. And because of that, he was like, dude, you know, racism is like alive and well and it's

like everywhere and it's here in Southern California. And I'm like, no, I don't know, bro. Not to that extent that your dad experienced maybe in the 70s and 60s. And maybe not to the extent that it took place in the South, right? And again, no, no, I'm not attacking anyone there in the South. I realize like things have changed. And so don't be DMing me and sending me message about how the South has reformed itself. Like I get it.

Like whatever. The story here that I want to share with you is that when you have told yourself a false story, when you have experienced abuse or trauma or something that has created a false story and you start believing the story, what happens next is the story that you told yourself over and over again and the story that you tell others of what happened to you. begins to develop your belief system, right? So I'll give you a great example. In my case, remember, I'm an immigrant to this country, came here when I was six years old,

and before that, between the ages of four and six, like as a young boy, I was molested by two older boys in Armenia, right? And so not only did the great escape when we escaped the Soviet Union, did that free me from this constant molestation, but now we come to this great country, the United States, and I'm told like, man, United States, freedom, opportunity, everything's awesome. And we're living in Section

8 housing. We're surrounded by gangbangers. They're picking on me and beating me up because I don't understand the language, the culture. I dress funny. I look funny. And I immediately become a target for them. Right. So the story between being molested and being bullied here when I come to the United States is that I'm not liked. I'm not loved. I'm not deserving. I'm not worthy. That's a story I had told myself. And growing up, I continue. I continue. you to feel that way and reinforce that story. Well, that story then created a belief system in me. Right? The belief system was that I shouldn't try so hard, that I shouldn't try and be seen and heard, that I don't deserve abundance, wealth, opportunity, that I'm not that smart, that

that great things aren't meant for me. When your beliefs are molded by your stories, the next thing that happens is your identity is created. And in my case, a false identity was created that, well, I'm just not that smart. I'm not a lovable, worthy dude. And therefore, I started to find evidence in the world of that. When someone interacted with me in a way that I felt like wasn't exactly how I expected, I would go, see, they probably think I'm a piece of shit. they probably think that I'm not worthy of respect, of abundance, of love, of being heard or understood,

and they're acting this way. And so that evidence reinforced the false identity that I carried. And this happens with all of you. And when it happens with all of you, you end up limiting your growth. You start putting these limitations and boundaries on your self-worth and your capabilities, right? And remember, this journey of life, you only get one round at it. Like, you only get one chance on this planet. And if you are letting the things that happen to you dictate and mold your story, then what you're really doing is you're limiting and creating boundaries of how much you can achieve, of how much you are worth in terms of self-worth, of how capable you are. And if you're like, well, I'm not capable of much, well, then you're not going to be

deserving much, not much of love, not much of happiness, not much of financial freedom, not much of relational, like joy, right? Like you'll never feel like you fully deserve anything. And that's what was going on with me. And once you start feeling that way, then you start living that way. Well, it's like, hey, if I'm not worthy anyway and I'm just a piece of shit, I might as well go out there and do piece of shit stuff. Or if I'm seen as lazy, if I'm seen as someone who is unworthy of success, I might as well not try. Well, then you end up literally manifesting the false identity that you put on yourself.

And so you're probably wondering like, all right, so what do I do? First off, understand that formula. The story that you tell yourself ends up creating your belief systems, right? your belief systems end up molding your identity of who you are. Your identity then makes you look for evidence in the world to reinforce what has happened to you. So it becomes this self-fulfilling prophecy. As you look for evidence in the world to reinforce what happened, well, what are you trying to reinforce? The story, which then reinforces the negative belief systems that you have about yourself.

Remember those negative belief systems are limitations and boundaries put on your self-worth and your capabilities. And then now, again, we reinforce the whole shitty identity. And that leads you to more evidence finding. And so if you want to fix this, you have to stop telling yourself this false story. And I've said this before. You may have seen the Nick Nick Bear podcast that I was on that clip that went viral. And I talked about, he asked, you know, what is the thing that people need to stop doing?

What is the thing that's holding people back? Nick asked. And I said, it's the story. It's a story that they tell themselves, right? Because the story that you tell yourself really determines who you become. And I always look at it this way. Like the story could have been told to you by someone else. Maybe your parents, right? Maybe they come from abuse. Maybe they come from neglect. Maybe they had issues with alcohol. Maybe they were made to feel unworthy. unlovable, undeserving. And so maybe they pass that story along to you that, hey, we are unloving, unworthy. And maybe don't pass it along saying those words.

Remember, actions, actions really determine a lot of the outcome, right? If you don't feel love, if your parents didn't feel like they didn't tell you they love you, they didn't say, add a boy or at a girl, they didn't give you the accolades or the pat on the back when you had good grades or when you did good in sports, you all of a sudden, you know, they're still telling you a story that you're unworthy, no matter how much you try, you're unworthy. And soon you start building that belief system that you're unworthy. And soon, you start feeling like you're unworthy. That becomes their identity. And then soon you find evidence in the world and you find people in the world who are going to treat you negligently, right?

And you're like, see, I married someone and like they make me feel like I'm unworthy. I'm unlovable. Well, like you went and found that person. Maybe not consciously, subconsciously, you went and found that person. And so how do we fix this? Well, the easiest solution to fix this is to understand that the story is nothing more than a pen, right? And I talked about this on Nick Baer's podcast. I said, look, you know, whether it's mom or dad or aunts and uncles, school teachers that, you know, kind of transformed this negative association onto you, right? Maybe they put their own limitations and lack of capabilities onto you.

Maybe because they weren't successful in the business. they said, hey, don't try and be an entrepreneur. You won't be successful because they fail. They think that you're going to fail. And maybe they're saying it with the best of intentions, but they're still basically calling you a failure, right? And so you start believing. Your belief systems becomes a failure.

So it doesn't matter if it was a byproduct of abuse, of trauma, of someone doing this to you or telling this to you. At the end of the day, the story was written, and therefore the belief systems were established, negative, and therefore the false identity was created. And therefore, you go. go through life looking for evidence to reinforce that false identity. What if you can take that pen back and start writing the new story? Like what if tomorrow you decide that I'm going to do

everything that someone with the identity of abundance, deserving of abundance, success, happiness, great health, abs, jacked, right? I'm going to write the story of someone who just deserves absolutely everything. All right. What does that story look like? What does that man or woman look like? Well, the story of that person is that they wake up early. They have a set routine that they follow that sets them up to win, right? I've shared my morning routine with you. Like, I feel that as long as I stick to the habits of a winner, and in my mind,

a winner is someone who is physically jacked, mentally and emotionally strong, says what he means and means what he says, is congruent with his or her core values. and the direction and the path they're going in life and is a role model to their kids, to their family, to their community, to the people they work with. Like, I want to see myself as that person. That's the story I've rewritten for myself. Well, then what are my new beliefs that I have the belief system that I need to wake up early, drink my 30 ounces of water, send out gratitude text messages, like do something good

instead of screen sucking off social media, send out three gratitude. to text messages, right? Listen to Jack Johnson's music because he makes me happy and makes me feel good about myself. Well, I'm showering. Go downstairs and do productive work in terms of writing a blog post or or going through my email content or outlining my next book or outlining the shows for the BK show, right? Like that's what a productive, successful, worthy human does because they see the world as abundance and opportunity and they believe their self-worth is a hundred out of a hundred.

I believe my capabilities are 100 out of 100. I used to not believe that, but I believe that now to the deepest fucking bone marrow, right? And because of that, my identity is that I am lovable, I am worthy, I am deserving of health, happiness, abundance, a great relationship, all of it. And guess what? By habitually living that life, by then constructing the habits that that guy who now rewrote that news story has.

The habits are to wake up early to drink the water, send out gratitude text messages, listen to happy music, right? Eat a high protein meal in the morning, go and crush my workout, get sunlight three miles in the park, you know, walking and getting sunlight on my skin

and being in my own thoughts and having a conversation with self and really processing who I am, killing my ego on a daily basis, living a humble life, but aggressively getting after it. And as my friend Edmite says, constantly being, being, you know, blissfully dissatisfied, right? I'm happy, but I'm constantly

striving for more. I'm not quite satisfied with life. And I want to die being blissfully dissatisfied because I want to keep earning, keep doing, keep serving, keep changing lives, keep transforming, keep being a fucking role model for you, for my kids, for the people who look up to me. And by doing that, I stay true to the story that I've rewritten from my life. My beliefs, which are now my new habits, lead me to creating that new identity. And wouldn't you know it, this new identity that I've had the last 15, 16, 17, 20 years or so, this new identity forces me to find evidence in the world that I'm a bad ass motherfucker. Just like Jules from Pulp Fiction.

I'm a bad motherfucker. Hey guys, quick interruption to the Bedroskoolian show. I want to remind you about the Trulian Wellness Shot. I created the Trulian Wellness Shot because I wanted a product that was going to help you boost our immune system and fight off inflammation in your gut, in your joints, in your body, so that you are healthy, you don't get sick, and you live an awesome life. Trulian Wellness Shots have these nine ingredients that are going to absolutely help fight off inflammation and boost your immune system.

Vitamin C, vitamin D, zinc, ginger, turmeric, echinacea, B12, cayenne pepper, and black pepper. And every single packet is checked for heavy metals. our ingredients are top quality, and we use nothing but top quality because we cut no corners. So you can use my name Bedros at trulein.com and get 50% off your Truling Tribe subscription. You not only get 50% off your first order, you also get free shipping. You get a 30-day unconditional money back guarantee so that if you don't like the product for some reason, which we have yet to meet anyone who don't like the product, we will give you your money back, no questions asked, and we will shake hands and part ways as friends.

And of course, $1 of every order goes to Shriner Children's Hospital, which is a hospital system that I've been helping and supporting for over 12 years. They provide medical procedures, medical services, surgeries to children whose families can't afford these procedures. So go to truling.com, use code word bedros, join the Truling tribe. You get 50% off your first order and then 20% off your recurring monthly orders after that. Back to the show. You get what I'm saying, right? Like, you will always find in the world what you're looking for. So if your false identity says that you're a loser, you're a deadbeat, you're not deserving,

you're a failure, you're not worthy, you will find evidence in the world to reinforce that. If your identity then says, I'm a winner, I'm deserving, like, I deserve happiness, abundance, joy, success, great relationships, awesome opportunities, then I will always find evidence in the world to find that. And just this morning, when I was outlining this episode, sitting at the, Starbucks in Chino Hills, four different individuals walked up like, yo, Bedros, love your work, man, love what you're doing. Thank you so much for what you do.

I watch your podcast. I listen to your shit. Like, that's evidence in the world that I'm a good human. That's evidence in the world that what I do matters. That's evidence that I'm a man that's going to leave a legacy behind. And so I'm here to tell you this. It starts off with rewriting your story. Be specific about how you want your life to look in the categories that matter.

Now, the project, the categories that matter, our faith, our family, their fitness, your finances, and your fulfillment, like the purpose, right? And if those are your five pillars, faith, family, fitness, finances, and fulfillment, in each of those categories, write down specifically what you want your life to look. And then once you write that down, go, what are the habits that this motherfucker needs to have in order to bring that story to life. When you bring that story to life, the false identity sheds and the new identity is developed. And then wouldn't you know it, you will find evidence in the world to reinforce that new identity so long as you live by those habits.

Now, if you write the story, the new story, but then you don't live the habits. You don't wake up on time to get the workout in. You say you're going to eat right, but you don't. You say you're going to get sunlight, but you don't. You say you're not going to screen suck all day long, but you do. You do all the things that are not aligned with the habits of a winner. Inevitably, you will become a loser. Or you might even stay a loser.

Let me just put it that way. And if you stay a loser or become a bigger loser, then you will continue to find the evidence in the world to reinforce that. So my friends, I'm here to tell you, that you can literally, literally change who you are. When I say change takes place in an instant, when you flip the switch, it's literally that instant. Like you can turn this podcast off

and write down who you are in those five categories of life that I gave you and start immediately living those habits, be congruent to the man or woman that you want to be, that you respect, that you would look up to. that you feel would be a great role model to humanity. Be congruent, no matter what. But Beedrus, I didn't sleep well.

Be congruent anyway. But Beadroof, I had nightmares. Be congruent anyway. But Beac, it's cold and wet and rainy and snowy. Be congruent anyway. But Beadroent, anyway. That's the magical formula. Write the story.

Be congruent to the habits. Developed a new identity and you will find evidence. The universe will show you evidence to keep you motivated, inspired, and disciplined and on path. And the moment you become incongruent, so let's talk about that for a moment. Where do those incongruencies come from? Let's say you get sick. And uh-oh, I caught a cold.

I caught a flu. In my case, I tore a tricept. And if I stop working out, guess what happens? The next domino falls. I stop eating clean. Then the next domino falls. Then I don't get sunlight. then the next domino falls i don't do a proper morning routine then the next domino falls i start

screen sucking and feeling fomo fear of missing out i'm looking at everyone else's highlight reel on social media and i'm feeling depressed about myself anxious about myself like i'm missing out on life next thing you know on my mom's couch i'm sitting on my mom's couch playing video games i don't fucking play video games but that would just be an example of what a loser would do instead you're sick, great, you may not work out for a day or two, keep everything else dialed in, your diet, your sleep, go walk outside, go stand outside and get some sun. Do not break habits, stay congruent to the man or woman that you desire to look like, be like, look up to.

It's as simple as that, you know. But if you, what if it to death? What if I'm sick? What if I'm tired? I didn't sleep well. My spouse said, fuck all that shit. And if you're like, well, I don't have a spouse who supports me. I don't have a boyfriend, girlfriend who supports me.

I don't have a friend who supports me. Guess what? Self is the highest supporter. We did a YouTube live a few weeks ago. And somebody was like in the comments, they were like, hey, we should all be accountability partners for each other. Yay. I mean like, fuck that shit.

Do not be accountability partners. Because if you start sliding, that means I'm going to start sliding. Because I'm going to try and match your low frequency. I don't want to match you a low frequency. I will hold myself accountable to myself. Self is the highest source of accountability. Not anyone in this room. Not anyone that I look up to.

Not anyone in my family. Self. Because I will never let myself down. I will not be a hypocrite. And I'm asking you to not be a hypocrite as well. So go on. Write that story. Create the new habits.

Develop the new identity. and dominate life, my friends. If you got a lot of value from this episode and you're watching this on YouTube, please leave me a thumbs up, comments, likes, and subscribe because less than 70% of you, in fact, who are watching this on YouTube are not subscribed. And I would really appreciate it if you would subscribe.

It would do a lot of value for the algorithm. And it would help really get this message out to more people who need it. And if you're listening to this on iTunes and on all the different podcast platforms like Spotify, if you can give us a five-star review, if you can give us some positive feedback and share it on social media guys and gals,

it would mean a ton to me. So thank you so much for watching and listening to this episode of the Bedros-Culian show. And remember this, that averages the enemy, success is your responsibility, and change can take place in an instant

if you are willing to flip the switch. I'll see you next time. What's the difference between me and you? Back when Q was rolling with Lorenzo and a Benzo, I was banging with a gang and. Estim