Bedros Keuilian Podcast Show - 071. 9 Lies That Are Ruining Your Life

Episode Date: February 6, 2024

In this episode of the Bedros Keuilian Show, I share how you can achieve more by taking responsibility for your own personal growth, happiness, and mindset. And what you can do to achieve more while inspiring others to change. REGISTER FOR THE LEGACY TRIBE Get the Life, Money, Meaning & Impact You Deserve https://bedroskeuilian.com/legacytribe SUBSCRIBE TO DOMINATION DOWNLOAD A Weekly Newsletter to Help You Dominate in Business & Life https://bedroskeuilian.com/ JOIN MY FREE 6-WEEK CHALLENGE: Transform into a Purpose-Driven Man https://bedroskeuilian.com/challenge TruLean Supplements | https://www.trulean.com/pages/bedros Get 50% Off Trulean Subscribe & Save Bundle Use Code: BEDROS Few Will Hunt Apparel | https://fewwillhunt.com/ Get 20% Off Your Entire Order Use Code: BEDROS BECOME A MODERN DAY KNIGHT: Join the MDK Project https://www.themdkproject.com/ PODCAST EPISODES: https://bedroskeuilian.com/podcast/ STAY CONNECTED: Website | https://bedroskeuilian.com/ Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/bedroskeuilian/ LinkedIn | https://www.linkedin.com/in/bedroskeuilian Twitter | https://twitter.com/bedroskeuilian

Because money gives you options. Money solves the problem of not having money. Money is a vehicle to freedom. Welcome to the Bedros Koolian show. Back when Q was rolling with Lorenzo and a benzo. I was banging with a gang of instrumental. Lies, lies and more lies. Listen, you have been lying to yourself.

In fact, let's talk about the lies that people tell themselves. Hey, my name is Bedros Kulian. Welcome to the Bedros Kulian show. And I've got an awesome episode teed up for you today. And listen, 70% of the lies. of you watching this on YouTube right now are not subscribed. So if you get any value from this, if I'm helping you change and transform yourself to the 2.0 version of yourself, then please do me a favor and subscribe. Give me a thumbs up, leave a comment, and that will help the algorithms

a lot, and that would mean a lot to me. Let's consider that our transaction if I'm able to add value to your life. And if you're watching or listening to this on Spotify and iTunes, thank you for listening. And of course, a review and a five-star rating would go a long way. So guys, let's get started. I got to thinking about all the different ways we lie to ourselves and what is lying? It is just our ego. When we lie to ourselves, when we lie to others, it's just being an asshole, right? Let's be honest. But when we lie to ourselves, it is ego trying to protect us.

It is pride trying to protect us. It is how we put our head in the sand when we lie to ourselves because we don't want to accept the reality, the truth of what is really happening. And so, you know me, I'm going to be brutally honest. I've been brutally honest with myself the last decade and a half, the last 15 years, and I have painfully transformed into the highest level version of myself and the self-work continues every day. Trust me when I say, I learn something new about myself. I peel the onion every day and the self-work continues every single day.

And some fucking days it is very painful. And so I'm going to expect that of you. And as long as you're watching and listening to my shows, then you know that I'm going to lovingly with compassion and care and empathy shit on you from time to times because I care. So let's get started. What are the lies that you tell yourself that are limiting your growth, your happiness, your success? We'll break into those in a second.

I've got nine of them for you. But first, let me tell you a story. The story is this. When I was younger and I've shared the story before, but if you're a brand new listener, then you may have never heard this before. But I was the king of dating crazy. I would date crazy chicks in my early, early 20s and I couldn't figure out why they were so bad for me when they would do something

stupid and it would drive me apeshit right well I would date crazy and in my mind I believed that I could change him I was like oh I can change him and I know there's this uh there's a saying at least my generation had a saying you can't turn a hoe into a housewife you can't turn a hoe into a housewife. You can't turn crazy into sane. Now, anyone can change themselves, but you can't change anyone. And that's the reality. And in fact, that is thing number one that I want to share with you is that, you know, if you think that I can change him or her, you can't. You can change yourself. They can change themselves. But you can't change someone else. And the more you believe that you can, I'm going to find someone

and whether it's a business partner, whether it's a friend, whether it's someone that you plan on dating or marrying and you're like, yeah, I like these things about them, but I hate these things about them, but I think I can change them. You can't. That's just how it is. And so I'm telling you, I wasn't able to fix crazy.

I wasn't able to change crazy into sane and you're not going to be able to change whatever those traits are into those personality types into what you want. Now, if that person wants change bad enough, they will do it, but that's out of your control. So understand that you cannot change a person. Thing number two is when you say, I don't have enough time,

right? I don't have enough time. That's a lie to you tell yourself. One of the biggest lies are that I don't have enough time. You do have enough time. You simply don't prioritize something, right? And that is the trap of tomorrow. If you've never heard me talk about the trap of tomorrow, it's when you put something off, oh, I'll do that tomorrow. And then tomorrow becomes next week. next week becomes next month, next month becomes next year. Whether it's losing weight, getting fit, eating right, positive mental attitude, whether it's working on your relationship until it's too late. And then boom, you get that divorce and you're shocked.

How did this divorce come about? Well, when there was a smaller issue, you didn't work on it. You didn't fix it. You wanted to put it off. And because you said you didn't have time and you kept putting it off and kicking the can down the road. You know, you'll say stuff like, hey, I don't have the time to do this. and I'll put it off tomorrow, yet you'll make time to watch TV.

You'll make time to scroll through social media. You'll make time to remember the stats of your favorite athlete, right? You'll make time to goof around with your homies. You'll make time to go out with your girls and drink wine or whatever it is that you do. Yet you won't make time for the things that you really want to prioritize because you really don't want to prioritize them. Let's be honest. If it was a priority, you wouldn't make the time for it.

But instead, what do you do? You make the excuse for it. So guys, I'm here to tell you that, You know, one of the biggest lies you tell yourself is that I don't have the time. You might as well say it's not a priority to me. At least be fucking honest with yourself and say it's not a priority to me. Because what you're doing is you're falling into the trap of tomorrow by saying, I don't have the time today.

I'll do tomorrow. Tomorrow becomes next week and then next month and the next year. And the pain continues to amplify. The problem continues to grow. Lie number three that you tell yourself, which is I'll be happy when I get and then fill in the blank. Right. Now, I need you to understand something. We're all wired for this mild level of dissatisfaction.

Like it is in a human condition. We're wired for this mild level of dissatisfaction. And so when we say I'll be happy when this happens, I'll be happy when I get this, I'll be happy when he or she does that. Guess what? You're really putting the locus of control outside of you. The only way you'll be happy is when the locus of control is inside of you, right? Internal locus of control.

when you were saying I'll be happy when and then an external thing needs to happen what if that doesn't happen what if they don't say what you want to say what you want to hear what if they don't do what you want them to do what if they don't react the way you wanted them to react so you're just going to live your life unhappy right that is an unfortunate way but if you take the locus of control internally if you have an internal locus of control then you find yourself in a position to be absolutely happy because I need you to understand this guys and gals happiness is an inside job you. You get that? Happiness is an inside job. So the biggest lie that you'll tell yourself is that I'll be happy when I get. You should be happy where you are today. You should be happy for the things that you have. You should be happy for the things that you can control. And then you're going to cope with what you can't control.

And then you're going to concentrate on what counts. And those are the three Cs that I often tell you that I live by, right? I control what I can, which means I get to. to control my happiness, I cope with what I can't control, and I concentrate on what counts. Think how often you'll concentrate on the things that don't even matter. And then you go, I'm not happy because of it. Who cares? What are all the things that are within your control that can make you happy?

Take that internal locus of control. Lie number four. Lie number four, everything is great. Everything is not great. One of the biggest lies people tell themselves that everything is great. That is the biggest form of denial. If you are out there saying that everything is great, then you're in a state of denial. But if you are in a place where you're like, hey, look, most things are great in my life,

but these are the areas that need fixing, and I'm not going to deny them, I'm not going to avoid them, I'm not going to bury my head in the sand, but I'm going to actively pursue fixing them. That is what a healthy human does. But if you're walking around lying to yourself and saying everything is great living in a state of denial, then you're fucked. because the things that you are avoiding by lying to yourself and denying and saying everything is great when there's actually a problem there that problem will continue to grow and grow bigger and then at some point it will detonate in your face and when it does it's usually when you're

like oh my god what a tragedy took place i didn't see it coming when in reality you were just in a state of denial number five everything sucks it is the opposite of number four right when you You say, well, everything sucks. No, everything doesn't suck. Did you wake up today? Because there was probably thousands of people that went to bed, healthy and happy last night and didn't even wake up. When you are of that mindset that everything sucks, you're like a human e-ore, right?

Remember, Winnie the Pooh, E-Ore, the donkey that's always sad and depressed and like, oh, I don't know, nothing's good. Everything sucks. Everything's bad. It's raining. It's cloudy. Everything hurts. Like, don't be that guy.

like that person repels all things good. You repel money, you repel, you repel good people, you repel good energy. If you live this, everything sucks mindset, right? That is a state of being ungrateful. Just like the everything is great all the time is denial. Everything sucks all the time is being ungrateful because there's a lot of things to be grateful for. You woke up today. You're healthy.

you have a roof over your head you have a vehicle fuck you're watching this or listening to this on something you have some form of technology that you can actually reach out to humanity with get help from everything doesn't suck number six i'm not that fat listen i can't tell you i used to remember i used to be a personal trainer and clients would come to me and sign up they would sign up for personal training and they'd like oh i only have a few pounds to lose and then i put them on the scale And then I put them on the body fat test machine. And I'm like, Mrs. Jones, Mr. Jones. Like, you're like 28, 25, 30, 33% body fat.

Like a third of your body is fat. You are over fat. You don't have a few pounds to lose. He had like 40, 50, 60 pounds to lose. Most of you out there that think you only have a few pounds to lose are lying to yourselves. Proof of that is this. What I want you to do is get naked in your room, get in front of a mirror,

snap a picture of your naked gelatinous body, and then look at that picture. See, when you look in the mirror, you're only going to see a few pounds to lose. When you look at a picture of yourself, naked, naked, you are going to see all the weight you need to lose. And again, I'm not shitting on you here. Well, I am. I can't say I'm not shitting on you. I am shitting on you.

But I want you to be healthy. I want you to be a shining example to your kids, to your spouse, to the people who believe in you. to the people who are your friends, and how are you going to be a shining example and a role model if you're lying to yourself and saying you only have a few pounds to lose

when you have a lot of weight to lose. Like get to it. Start eating right. Start exercising. And don't be in denial and calling it a few pounds when it's actually like 40, 50 pounds or more, right? And listen, if you're jacked, if you're lean,

if you're in great shape, hey man, good for you. That's awesome. You can just bypass this one. Number seven, I make enough money. Now you don't. One of the biggest lies you guys tell yourselves is that I make enough money. We pay our bills.

We're debt free. We live a humble life. Everything's good. You don't know when another catastrophe takes place. Look at what happened a couple years ago as gas prices skyrocketed. As inflation blew up. As interest rates went through the roof. Your mortgage.

Your rent. your car note, gas prices, food prices, travel expenses, everything went up. If you were intentionally working to make three, four, five times the amount of money that you make and still living on a balanced budget when the next tragedy comes about, you can handle it. And it's not just inflation and interest rates and cost of living. what happens if mom or dad gets sick and insurance doesn't cover it? Are you just going to be like, oh well, I can't take care of them, I can't help them? What happens if you, your spouse, one of your kids get sick and insurance doesn't cover it?

Are you going to run to go fund me and hope that the community at large will help fund that thing? Or do you want to be in a financial place where you can be like, you know what, thank God we make a lot of money. We've got the savings. We're going to help this family. We're going to help this, this parent. We're going to help grandma. We're going to help our kid. Like, you want your financial cup to overflow, my friends. And if you are not there, if you're just like, I make enough money and I'm good, I just want to cover my bills, cover my rent, cover my food, cover my expenses, and I'm good. That is a selfish way to live. Every single one of you out there can have a side gig, could be making

inside income that could compete with the income that you're making right now. And if you're saying, I don't have time, go back to what we talked about earlier. Number two, which is, I don't have time. You're saying it's not a priority. You do have time. They have all the different ways. You're sleeping in. You're wasting time.

Screen sucking, video games, TV shows, binge watching TV. You know all the stats of every fucking sports team that you follow. Use all that time to create another source of income for yourself and balance and manage your money well because money gives you options. Money solves the problem of not having money. Money is a vehicle to freedom. And when you have those options and when you can solve those problems and when you can have that vehicle to freedom, you don't become dependent on the system, the man who always is trying to oppress you, right? And tax you and tell you what you should believe and how you should live and what you should do.

Money gives you freedom that you currently may not have. Money allows you to live in a gated community to keep your family safer. Money allows you to get your family the better quality of food. Money allows you to take your family to vacations in a way that's going to be memorable for years, experiences that they will never forget. Money gives you peace of mind when you can serve other people with it. make a lot of money and be kind to others with it. And number eight, when you say, I'm just not good at X, right?

I often hear that I'm just not good at X. And that X could be I'm just not good at running. I'm just not good at making money. I'm just not good at being an extrovert. I'm just not good at public speaking. I'm just not good at swimming. Look at how much you are missing out on life by saying I'm not good at. and then filling in the X.

You know, as humans, we are very adaptable. We are very pliable. You can be good at a lot of things. In fact, the reason I started my six-week challenges is because I'd convince myself that I'm not good at running. I said, I'm not good at running. I'm just good at lifting weights, lifting heavy things that my creator has built me in a way to build a lot of muscle and be strong

and not so much to have endurance and run. I'm not a good runner. And I had made that my false identity. And I realized like, dude, you could do anything you want. Like, how can you say you're not good at running? And that's when I hired a running coach and said, hey, build me a six-week training program because I'm going to do a marathon. And in fact, you guys know this.

You can go get my marathon training guide from that same coach, the entire training program for free at bedroskooligan.com forward slash challenge. like you can train and run a marathon in six weeks. And I share this with you because I give it away for free so that you can have that breakthrough. I want you to experience the breakthrough that I had, which is when I said, I'm not good at running, once I was like, oh, shit, I wasn't good at running because I never ran. And I wasn't good at running because I kept believing the story that I told myself,

which is I'm a big guy, I got flat feet, I'm not good at endurance, I'm good at lifting. And the stories that you tell yourself, you begin to believe. And so if you say, I'm not good at talking to girls, if you say I'm not good at talking to men, if you say I'm not good at asking for a raise, I'm not good at whatever, then you're not going to be good at it. As it turns out, the human mind, the human spirit, the human emotion, the human body is so pliable and capable. And if you do the sets and reps, you will be good at it. So don't ever lie to yourself like that. Hey, guys, quick interruption to the Bedros-Coolion show.

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and we use nothing but top quality because we cut no corners. So you can use my name Bedros at trulein.com and get 50% off your Truling tribe subscription. You not only get 50% off your first order, you also get free shipping. You get a 30-day unconditional money back guarantee so that if you don't like the product for some reason, which we have yet to meet anyone who don't like the product, we will give your money back, no questions asked, and we will shake hands. and part ways as friends. And of course, $1 of every order goes to Shriner's Children's Hospital, which is a hospital system that I've been helping and supporting for over 12 years. They provide

medical procedures, medical services, surgeries to children whose families can't afford these procedures. So go to trulene.com, use code word bedros, join the Truling tribe. You get 50% off your first order, and then 20% off your recurring monthly orders after that. Back to the show. And finally, number nine. And number nine is this this big lie that you tell yourself, which is I'm not worthy. And that is a lie that usually comes from trauma.

It's a lie that comes from abuse. It's a lie from being bullied. It's a lie because maybe your parents weren't good to you. Maybe some bullies weren't good to you. School teachers weren't someone called you fat. You're clumsy. You're big bone. You're stupid.

You're not smart enough. It's a lie. That inner self-talk is a lie. most people have that negative inner self-talk. And if you keep believing these lies that you tell yourself, like you will live a life that's just underpinned with stress, anxiety, overwhelmed, depression, it will be a life that's unfulfilled. Why would you do that, right?

And so I encourage you guys, I love you to pieces, and I want to encourage you to live boldly, take risks, break these lies, these nine lies that you've been telling yourself. You are very capable. You are very capable. You can change. Others can't change, but you can change. You have enough time.

You just haven't made it a priority. Understand that happiness, you should already be happy where you are in life. Happiness is an inside job. It is absolutely an inside job. And no, not everything is great. If you think everything is great in your life, you are living in a high state of denial. And if you think everything sucks in your life,

then you are living a life of being ungrateful. Because you're alive, you're breathing, you have food, you have shelter, you have an iPhone or Android, which I do believe is a lesser phone, by the way. Because if I'm texting you and it's going green instead of blue like an eye message, I do believe that's just a lesser... Can I say it?

That's a lesser person that I'm texting. And I know what you guys are going to say and instructor Steve from the project. It's like, yeah, but you guys all have the fruit phone And my phone has higher pixels and all that shit I don't care If your shit doesn't go blue I'm judging you

Anyways, onward, I digressed And of course, I'm here to tell you, don't lie to yourself If you think you're a little bit fat You're probably a lot of bit fat and do something about it And if you're like I make enough money You probably don't make more Share that abundance, right? And finally, all of us are not good at a lot of things

but we're capable of doing everything. And it takes sets and reps and training. And there's a good coach out there somewhere. There's a YouTube video out there that can teach you and show you. And beyond that six-week challenge, the marathon challenge, I've done Jiu-Jitsu with Ghee. Now I'm doing Jiu-Jitsu with no-Gee. And I've done rock climbing.

And I've done surfing challenges. And I've done salsa dancing and playing musical instruments and improv class. Because everything that I said I wasn't good at was an absolute lie. I've become damn good at those things. Now, certain things I chose not to continue doing because they're just not interesting to me, but I broke those lies. And that's what this episode is about, guys and gals.

Hey, listen, if you got a lot of value from this episode, please do me a favor if you're watching this on YouTube and give me a subscribe, a thumbs up, or a comment. I really would appreciate it. It would help with the algorithm. And of course, want to let you guys know that averages the enemy, that success is your responsibility,

and change can take place. place in an instant if you are willing to flip the switch. I'll see you next time.