Bedros Keuilian Podcast Show - 079. 10 BIG Life Lessons All Men Need

Episode Date: April 2, 2024

After 5 years of helping men become their 2.0 Selves, the Modern Day Knight Project is coming to an end. In this episode of the Bedros Keuilian Show, I share the 10 BIGGEST lessons from the Project. Seeing men become Savage Servants to their wife, kids, and community has been something special to watch. I'm grateful for everyone who's supported the Modern Day Knight Project. BECOME A MODERN DAY KNIGHT: Join the MDK Project https://www.themdkproject.com/ REGISTER FOR THE LEGACY TRIBE Get the Life, Money, Meaning & Impact You Deserve https://bedroskeuilian.com/legacytribe SUBSCRIBE TO DOMINATION DOWNLOAD A Weekly Newsletter to Help You Dominate in Business & Life https://bedroskeuilian.com/ JOIN MY FREE 6-WEEK CHALLENGE: Transform into a Purpose-Driven Man https://bedroskeuilian.com/challenge TruLean Supplements | https://www.trulean.com/pages/bedros Get 50% Off Trulean Subscribe & Save Bundle Use Code: BEDROS Few Will Hunt Apparel | https://fewwillhunt.com/ Get 20% Off Your Entire Order Use Code: BEDROS STAY CONNECTED: Website | https://bedroskeuilian.com/ Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/bedroskeuilian/ LinkedIn | https://www.linkedin.com/in/bedroskeuilian Twitter | https://twitter.com/bedroskeuilian

The conversation that you have in your head with self, your subconscious mind, control your thoughts. And your thoughts will control your actions. And your actions will control your outcome. Welcome to the Bedroskulean show. Back when Q was rolling with Lorenzo and a Benzo, I was banging with a gang of instrumental. Hey guys, welcome to the Bedroskulian show. I'm Bedroskulian. And today I've got bad news for you and I've got good news for you as well.

So let's kick this off. The good news is we're going to talk about the 10 lessons that are graduates from the project, the 10 big lessons, I should say, that our graduates from the modern day night project have taken away from their experience and going through the 75-hour experience that is the project. The bad news, guess what? The project is coming to an end. That's right. Class number 20, which takes place in October 24 at the end of the end of the end of the end of

this year is the last and final class of the project. Class 20 will make it five years and 20 classes and if the numbers add up, we'll have just over 215 or so graduates if the same numbers continue. And it will be the end of the project. Like all things, the project has to come to an end five years and 20 classes by the time we do our October class that's coming up in 2024, it's run its course. And make no mistake about it, myself and the instructors will not stop serving men, will not stop serving the next generation to come. In fact, if you follow me on social media, then you know that we are scaling the Squire

program, which is a father and son experience. We now have five squire programs across the country, and our goal is to have a squire program running in every state across the country. And so now that we've got, we're in five different states, and we want to continue to grow the squire program, we have to go singularity of focus. Now, you might know that the project is a 75-hour experience for men, and it is a very grueling experience. it's physically, mentally, emotionally, exhausting, taxing. You know, we've got a, about a 25, 30% graduation rate, right? So if 30 men start a class on average, we'll typically have about 30 to 40 men start a class

on average on a Tuesday, just like we did here about two weeks ago, we ran class 19 of the project. So if you've got 30, 35, 40 men starting on a Tuesday at 1 p.m. By the time Friday, 5 p.m. comes along to 75 hours is checked off, we'll typically have somewhere between 11, 12, 13 graduates, sometimes as low as 8 or 9. It all depends on how many injuries are sustained because not everyone rings the bell and quits.

About half of the people will get injured. from muscle pull to rabdo to a broken finger, you name it. We've had it torn Achilles. And the other half who don't make it to the 75 hours at the end of that 75 hours are ones who decided to quit on their goals and dreams, get up and ring the bell before the 75 hours were over. And so as the project comes to an end, the Squire is the next thing. The Squire program is the next thing that we're going to focus on

because I realize that our young men, our boys are more confused than ever. They have less influence from their fathers. They have less influence from the men who should be active in their life. And as young boys, we don't have an owner's manual on how a young boy should think and operate and conduct himself. In fact, where that comes from is your father, your older brother, your uncle, your uncle, your uncle, your grandfather. And in the absence of all the male figures that have core values and character and integrity, a young man is left to wonder if he's got what it takes as he becomes a man, right? That's why you have squires. Knights have squires because it is that knight's job to turn

that young man, that squire, into a modern day knight, into a shiverous, satir. servant into a gentleman who's capable and confident. And without that night, mentoring, coaching, and instilling the core values and character and integrity in that young man, that young man becomes a rudderless ship who's highly emotional, unable to defend and protect and therefore becomes a very emotionally reckless young man who then cannot provide, protect, and preside over his future family. This is why we've seen such an increase in anxiety, depression, and self-deleting of young men.

And I'm tired of that. And so the project, class 20 in October of 2024 is the last and final class. And so if you're like, holy crap, I got to go do the project. I've been telling myself, I got to go do the project. Well, here's your chance. Here's your chance. You're going to click the link in the description of this podcast or YouTube show,

depending on where you're watching it, or just Google the project or just go to bedroskoolion.com. And you'll find a link to the project and you want to apply for it. And you'll talk to one of our lead instructors. And if you're a good fit to go through the October 2024 class, which is class 20, the last and final class of the project, then we will sign you up and you will be one of the final, hopefully graduates who don't ring the bell or get injured to go through the project. But with that said, I've got 10 lessons that we have.

And, you know, when we reached out to our Project Brotherhood, the graduates and we were like, hey, man, what are some of the biggest lessons you've taken away as you've graduated the project? Like literally hundreds of lessons were shared. And we had to kind of extrapolate and condense it down to the top 10 lessons for you. So in no particular order, here we go. Lesson one, one of the big takeaways that, you know, these guys get from the project is, you know, they say, hey, we learned to stop sitting on the sidelines and playing it safe. And how often are you playing it safe sitting on the sidelines as spectator in the sport of life instead of getting on the field and actually getting involved? Far too often, you kick the can down the road. Next year, I'm going to do

it next year I'm going to get in better shape. Next year I'm going to make more money. Next year, I'm going to go on that vacation. Next year, I'm going to learn that new language. Next year, I'm going to do this thing. And you keep kicking the can down the road. And next year becomes the following year, becomes five years, becomes a decade. And now you haven't learned the thing, done the thing, made the money, improved the relationship. And you realize that you were just a spectator. You were just a hamster on this wheel, right? The men that have gone through the project realized very quickly, we give them this awakening that, hey, man, if you are sitting on the sidelines watching everyone playing the game of life,

then what exactly are you waiting for? How long are you going to continue to play it safe? And the harsh reality, guys, is that 90% of people out there, men and women, I know the project is all for men, but 90% of men and women are out there playing it safe, don't want to take a risk, aren't willing to chase those dreams and goals, and are just sitting on the sidelines and what we do with the project is give them that awakening and we break off that switch once we flip it and we allow them to attack life because they're no longer worried about what people think what might happen.

They don't let the fear and doubt and uncertainty consume them, right? Thing number two is that they said they stopped asking for approval and for permission from others to really get after their goals and dreams. Think about this. How often you don't want to, maybe you don't want to rock the boat at home. You don't want to seem like you're going to take a risk if you want to start a new business. So you'd rather stay in this career that you hate that's slowly killing you, right? Or you feel like if you have to ask for approval or permission, then it's not worth it to you.

Look, the reality is you don't have to ask for approval. or permission, if you've got a great idea and you've got a partner, a wife who loves you, who supports you, then you can have that conversation. You can have that conversation and you could stop seeking approval. You can stop asking for permission to get after your goals and dreams. And here's why. Because if you stay silent and you let that time go by, what you're going to allow is for resentment and regret to build up, fellas.

Resentment towards the people that you felt like were stifling. your goals and dreams who weren't giving you the permission, validation, or approval, and regret for the fact that you chose to not lead yourself into chasing your goals and dreams. And I don't know about you, man, but I don't want to get to my twilight years in life and then come to find out that I've got this high level of regret and resentment towards the people around me because I just felt like they were stifling me. and regret towards the life that I failed to live because I was playing it too safe

and didn't want to take risks. Hey guys, quick interruption to the Bedroskoolion show. I want to remind you about the Trulian Wellness Shot. I created the Trulian Wellness Shot because I wanted a product that was gonna help you boost our immune system and fight off inflammation in your gut, in your joints, in your body so that you are healthy, you don't get sick,

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You not only get 50% off your first order, you also get free shipping. you get a 30-day unconditional money-back guarantee so that if you don't like the product for some reason, which we have yet to meet anyone who don't like the product, we will give your money back, no questions asked, and we will shake hands and part ways as friends. And of course, $1 of every order goes to Shriner Children's Hospital, which is a hospital system that I've been helping and supporting for over 12 years. They provide medical procedures, medical services, surgeries to children whose families can't afford these procedures.

So go to trueling.com, use code word bedro. join the Truling Tribe. You get 50% off your first order and then 20% off your recurring monthly orders after that. Back to the show. Number three, and I think this was a big one, man. You probably don't think that we talk about feelings and emotions at the project

because the videos that you see on social media is just, you know, me and instructor Steve and all the other instructors just beating the shit out of looking like we're just beating the shit out of all of the candidates that are going through, ice bath and, you know, hiking with logs and sandbags and truck pulls. and going to the ocean and having our Navy SEAL will put them through this beach torture experience.

And you think it's 75 hours of torture. It's not. There's a lot of classroom time at the project. And the project really, it's this, what these guys wrote. It's okay for men to speak about their feelings. This is why you need a network of strong men to lean on, right? It is important for you to have a strong network of like-minded men to lean on who are okay to talk about their feelings, but it is not okay to let your feelings and emotions run wild.

Understand the difference. And during the project, we have a segment called toxic cognitions. And this segment is about three, sometimes four hours long, depending on how many men we have. And it takes place around hour number 36 or 37. And during the toxic cognitions, we are talking about the limiting beliefs that have stopped you from achieving your goals. We're talking about the trauma, physical, sexual, emotional, emotional, abuse. that has stopped you from reaching your goals in life, that have stopped you from wanting to push

further, that have created the self-sabotaging pattern in your life. For the first time ever, grown men start journaling about what has taken place in their lives that has limited their human experience. They've never talked about these feelings and emotions, and we create the time and the space at the project for these men to do that, to journal it, and to talk about it openly. And for the first time, they say things that they've never said to others about how they feel, what they're experiencing, what they have experienced, and what it has done for their future moving forward. And then we help them rewrite that story and show them that there's a superpower in that abuse, that trauma, that setback that you experienced. And how often do you

walk around self-sabotaging, limiting your human experience, and having this belief system that you're not worthy because something has happened to you, right? It is okay to speak about your feelings. It is okay to share about your feelings, a journal about your feelings. And in those feelings and emotions to find that seed of superpower that you have that will be able to help you break through limiting beliefs and achieve your goals and dreams in life before you have that resentment and that regret that we talked about. Number four, very simple.

A lot of these men say they were able to build and never quit mindset because they all of a sudden figured out that if I can go through the project for 75 hours straight where these guys control my sleep, my actions, my food, my experience, we intentionally trigger men during the project to see how you are going to react or respond. we intentionally start picking away at your insecurities to see exactly what your reaction is going to be and then we stop the experience and we bring light to it and we go hey look where else does this show up when you start seeing red when you get pissed off in your life are you that guy punching a hole through the wall in front of your wife and putting the fear of God into her are your kids seeing

this dark side of you that you are later going to regret when you gather your emotions again and if so, what can we do about it, that you leave that negative monster here at the project in the pit? To build that never quit mindset, that I am resilient, I am resourceful, and I'm capable of doing anything. And every guy that has graduated the project class, you know what they tell me afterwards? About two or three months later, I'll get a text message or a call from a graduate. They'll go, dude, what used to feel like an eight, nine, or a ten, my thermostat of stress and overwhelm, now just registers as a two or a three. And I'm like, why do you think that is?

And I know the answer. Why do you think that is? They go, shit, man, the project. Like, you guys brought so much stress, so much hell, so much uncertainty, so much, you proved so much of how much capacity I have in terms of mental and emotional, mindset and emotional capacity that I realized I can handle more of what life throws at me. And so now the things that used to register as an eight, nine, or a ten in terms of stress and overwhelm, not just show up as a two or a three.

And we have a term for it. They go, we just, I just project right through it. Because it's not like the project is going to help you never have a hard time in life. Like you are guaranteed to experience adversity, hard times, setbacks, and things will go wrong in life still. How you respond to that. How it feels, does it feel like an eight, nine, or a ten like you're in the red, or are you like, shoot, okay, this is definitely not comfortable, but it feels like a three or a four,

and I can process through it because I've been given tools, and I've been shown that I have a greater amount of mental and emotional capacity to act on this. So building that never quit mindset is paramount. Paramount. You can read about a never quit mindset all day long, but to actually go into the project, to crawl through the pit, to do the hikes, to carry the weight, to pull the truck, to fight the Pacific Ocean to go through that ice bath, all while sleep deprived, all while deprived of food sometimes, all while your body aches and hurts, all while not knowing how long you'll be doing this experience, and how many times you'll be asked to repeat it, how many times you'll be made to restart it, all to confuse you and create chaos in your mind to get you to start having

that secondary conversation with your inner bitch who wants to quit and negotiate their way out, And when you do, we go, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, buddy. Before you consider ringing that bell, go one more hour. Go one more evolution. Go 10 more yards. That is the difference of a quitter and a winner. A winner still wants to quit. They'll have those moments where they want to quit.

They will have the self-talk with the inner advocate instead of the inner bitch. And that inner advocate will go, hey, man, if you still want to quit, you can quit on the next evolution. You can quit on the next hour. You can quit on the next 10 yards, but don't quit now. And one hour, one evolution, one 10 yard block at a time is how every single one of these guys have crushed the project. Don't for a moment think that people going through the project are like young jack dudes in their 20s. In fact, some of the youngest dudes are the ones that quit because they don't have the mental, emotional toughness that we salty older do. dudes do. Our oldest graduate at the project is 60 years old. We've got dudes in their 50s and

their late 40s, the average guys in their late 30s and early 40s. But we got plenty of dudes in their 50s and our oldest graduate is 60 years old. What's the difference? The mindset, the follow through, the conversations that you have in your head, right? So takeaway number five, they've learned that they can have the tough conversations and they can stop avoiding them. Think how many tough conversations you need to have in your life. Could be with your spouse, could be with a friend, could be with your kids, could be with a business partner, could be with an employee, could be with your parents, could be with your siblings.

How many tough conversations should you be having that you're avoiding that's causing stress, chaos, anxiety, depression, overwhelming your life? This is causing you to live incongruently where you're walking. on eggshells around people. How often do you want to continue? How much longer do you want to continue walking on eggshells around people? Because you're afraid to have those tough conversations. Because all you do is you continue to avoid them, ignore them, and bear your head in the sand.

Right? We teach these guys how to broach those conversations, how to tee those conversations up. And not every conversation that you have that's tough is going to go well, guys. Don't for a moment think that it does. but it allows you to get closure. But more often than not, a tough conversation ends up leading to the outcome that you want, which gives you the closure that you're looking for, which gives you the peace of mind, which means you don't have to carry the weight of that anymore.

Think maybe there's someone in your life who's an addict, alcohol addict, drug addict, and you've been wanting to have that tough conversation, but you've just been avoiding it. Maybe someone's not living a life of congruency and consistency. Maybe they need to lose some weight and they need to get healthier because they're not great examples. And you want to have that conversation, but you don't know how. How much longer are going to keep waiting, kicking the can down the road, avoiding that conversation, ultimately building resentment towards them, right? Those are the things that we help you tee up.

Number six, you can't avoid the peaks and valleys in life. They say you can't avoid the peaks and valleys in life. Life will always have the ups and downs, so make peace with it. And then I wrote next to that, learn to handle the peaks and valleys, right? And again, I said that earlier, right? It's not that the project all of a sudden is going to make life rosy. It's not because your life is still dynamic. You still have other people in your life that are going to influence how your life ends up looking.

However, you're going to know how to handle these peaks and valleys. What we teach is there's the red, there's the blue, and then there's the green. And we always say stay in the green. Maintain emotional discipline. Stay in the green. If things are good, awesome. Stay in the green. Things are bad.

Awesome. Stay in the green. Be logical, be pragmatic, have emotional discipline, have mental toughness. Stay to your structure and your routine and your discipline. And this two shall pass. How often do you end up emotionally reacting to things, later regretting how you reacted, changing your pattern of life, creating bad habits, self-sabotaging, and only hurting yourself when the peaks and valleys show up?

Understand that the peaks and valleys will show up. It's a byproduct of life. The only people that don't have peaks and valleys in their life are dead people. Dead people have no fucking peaks and valleys in their life. Their life is consistently dead. The rest of us, we're going to have peaks and valleys. It's how we see them, how we address them, whether we show gratitude about them, whether we have the tools to address them, or do you avoid the valleys until they get worse,

until that explodes in your face. Number seven, we heard this a lot. And you know, you might be one of those people. Man, the project is way too expensive. It's too expensive. A lot of these guys were like, yeah, yeah, it's expensive. But money comes and goes, and so does time. You know, life happens fast.

The project really helped us invest the money to learn how to collapse time and get what we want in life. Most people fail to look at the project as a coaching mentorship self-development program, most of you out there probably look at the project as some kind of a challenge or experience to go through for 75 hours. And you're like, dude, I can go do a mud run

or a Spartan race. All of those are fucking awesome things to do. Go do them. But they're not doing the business coaching. They're not doing the mentorship. They're not doing the self-development. They're not doing the journaling. They're not giving you structure

on how you should handle your marriage, on how you should work with your kids and how you should lead and mentor your family. That is the difference. And when you pay that money for the project, you are time collapsing because you're getting the cheat code to business and life. You're getting a brotherhood of like-minded men who have been there. They're connected to you who you can lean on moving forward. Number eight, the big takeaway from the project.

Number eight, we can't move forward if we're not willing to take responsibility for our life. And this is a huge one that a lot of these guys have pointed out after graduating the project. They go, look, I can't continue to point fingers at other people in my life. I have to take ownership. And sometimes that means over the stupidest things as well, right? You may have made a string of bad decisions in your life. That doesn't mean that you're a bad person. You can be forgiven. You can move on. You can course correct. But to move forward, you have to take responsibility. whether it was drugs, alcohol, pornography, infidelity, I don't know what your thing was. But I do know that you are allowed grace.

I do know that you have to start taking personal responsibility. And you have to take massive and extreme responsibility. You have to take ownership at the highest level that everything starts and stops with you. This is a fundamental lesson that we teach at the project every fucking hour of the 75 hours the responsibility is on you. You are responsible for how you feel when you're in the pit. You're responsible with how you feel and how you experience the ice bath. You are responsible during the hikes of how you feel and what you experience.

Yeah, I betrhus, but you guys put the heavy logs on us. You tell us how long I should stay in the ice bath. You guys extend the amount of feet or miles. We have to pull the truck. We sure do. But you're so responsible for the inner conversation, for the feelings, for the thoughts, for the emotions. And the moment you understand that you have responsibility over these things is the moment you have giving yourself the freedom to control these things.

Number nine, big takeaway number nine from the project. You will believe whatever you tell yourself. Man, that is a big lesson we teach. But you can control the conversation. That is true. Your subconscious mind will believe everything it says. Think about the inner conversation that you're having. And I don't know what your inner conversation is, but I can tell you, statistically speaking,

the average person has about 60,000 thoughts a day, 60,000 thoughts a day, conversations, if you will, with self. Apparently, over 80% of those 60,000 thoughts are negative for the average person. So you will believe whatever you tell yourself until you learn how to control that inner conversation. That's one of the tools that we give these guys. Are you willing to take control of the inner conversation, the inner dialogue? If you are not, then odds are you have given your inner critic, what we call your bitch voice, the steering will.

And your inner bitch has decided to take the steering wheel and control where that human goes, where you go in terms of thought, in terms of success, in terms of your health, fitness, in terms of your relationship, right? the conversations that you have end up controlling your thoughts your thoughts control your actions your actions control your outcome i'm going to say that again the conversation that you have in your head with self your subconscious mind control your thoughts and your thoughts will control your actions and your actions will control your outcome and so if you can't take that steering will away from the inner bitch and give it to your inner advocate who's rooting for you who believes in you who knows you're capable and you have everything yet you need to succeed, then what's going to happen, man? So you got to be able to understand that you will believe whatever you tell yourself

and that you have absolute control over the conversation. And number 10, big takeaway number 10 from the project, if you don't make yourself the priority in your life, everything you put in front of you will be lost. And that is true. if you constantly leave yourself for last and fellas i know like we do this right it's like man i'm a dad and you're like dude i'm a husband i'm an entrepreneur i i'm i'm i'm a i'm a whatever like i've committed to doing this at my church you'll put so many things ahead of you that you end up actually punishing yourself nothing becomes a priority that should the biggest priority should

be you, your physical, mental, and emotional state. And if you can prioritize your physical, mental, emotional state, and one thing I stress to the guise of the project is, physical, mental, emotional, and financial state. Physical, mental, emotional, financial, and relational state. Those are the priorities. Wait a minute, Beto's, are you telling me it's okay to ask my spouse for what I want? Yep.

Now, I don't know how your spouse will be. respond to that. I don't know how they will react to that. Maybe asking your spouse for what you want in terms of how you want to be spoken to, how you want to be loved and respected, how you want to be conducted with. Maybe they're not willing to meet those expectations. If they're fair expectations, they're not willing to meet them, how long are you going to keep walking on eggshells? So how will you make your relationship a priority? How will you make your money? How will you make your money a priority. How will you make your physical, mental, emotional state a priority? Instead, you put everything else first ahead of those things and then you wonder why you're stressed,

overwhelmed, having very, very dark thoughts of doing very, very bad things. You know, we're on, we're on podcast and we're on YouTube here so I can't say the S word, the self-deleting word. But can I tell you how many men have come through the project and said, dude, I sat in my car. with that pistol on my lap. I go, thank God you're here, man. Thank God you're here. And so if you are not willing to prioritize yourself and not a lot of people are out there telling men

to prioritize yourself, the only way that I can serve my family, my businesses, my community, my country is if I am fit mentally and physically and emotionally, if I am financially stout, and if I have support from friends, and family. It's the only way I can give myself to you. I can't give myself to you, not not, not in terms of coaching, not in terms of podcast, not in terms of show, not in terms of speaking

from stage. I can't do any of that shit if I am not fulfilled physically, mentally, emotionally, financially and relationally. So if you're operating in a deficit in those categories because you keep prioritizing everybody and everything else, the project will help you. reset that. The project will connect you to a brotherhood and make you realize it's okay. It's okay to make yourself a priority in your life. No one else is going to make you a priority if you don't demonstrate your worth and value. Do you understand that? So listen, if you got a lot of value from this episode about the 10 big takeaways from the project, October 24 is class 20, the last and final class of the project. You're interested in doing it. You know, click the link in the

description box, go to Beddroskulein.com and find the link for the project and apply and if it makes sense, sign up and join us for the last and final class, class 20 of the project. And by the way, those of you watching or listening to this outside of the United States, people always ask me, can people outside of the United States do it? We've had dudes from 22 countries do it. So yes, believe it or not, you can be in Europe, Australia, Mexico, Canada, South Africa. we've had people from all those countries that I just listed off, you get on a plane, you come here, and then you experience the project, and then you get on the plane, and then you go back home, a new man, the 2.0 version of yourself.

So guys, remember this more than anything else. Average is the enemy. That success truly is your responsibility and change can take place in an instant, or in this case, over 75 hours, if you, are willing to flip the switch. I'll see you next time.