Bedros Keuilian Podcast Show - 083. 5 Things that are Killing Your Dreams and How to Change them

Episode Date: April 30, 2024

Many of us have dreams. Yet how come so many of us can dream, but only so few can live them out?In this episode of the Bedros Keuilian Show, I share how to overcome the "Dream Killers" in your life.And why you need to treat life not as a rehearsal but as a single opportunity to be seized. REGISTER FOR THE LEGACY TRIBE Get the Life, Money, Meaning & Impact You Deserve https://bedroskeuilian.com/legacytribe JOIN MY FREE 6-WEEK CHALLENGE: Transform into a Purpose-Driven Man https://bedroskeuilian.com/challenge TruLean Supplements | https://www.trulean.com/pages/bedros Get 50% Off Trulean Subscribe & Save Bundle Use Code: BEDROS Few Will Hunt Apparel | https://fewwillhunt.com/ Get 20% Off Your Entire Order Use Code: BEDROS BECOME A MODERN DAY KNIGHT: Join the MDK Project https://www.themdkproject.com/ STAY CONNECTED: Website | https://bedroskeuilian.com/ Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/bedroskeuilian/ LinkedIn | https://www.linkedin.com/in/bedroskeuilian Twitter | https://twitter.com/bedroskeuilian

Part of life is about getting hurt, about failing and getting back up and dealing with adversity and setbacks and realizing that what you thought was a short path is actually going to be the long path to success and you're going to have to take that journey if you really want it. Welcome to the Bedroft's Kooli and Show. If you knew that you couldn't fail at anything, what is it that you would do in life that would give you more significance, more purpose, and a greater sense of meaning? Welcome, friends. Welcome to the Bedrose-Coolean show. I'm Bedrose-Cooleon, and I've got a great episode teed up for you today. And this actually came from an event that we did about a week ago called Scale Day. So my friend, Dan Fleischman, and I, we own this beautiful 26-acre ranch in Temecula, California, BlackSight Ranch.

And at BlackSight Ranch, we run a whole bunch of awesome events, Operation BlackSight, the Squire program, parts of the Modern Day Night Project, as well as masterminds and events. And in fact, the real Tarzan also lives on property. And we've got almost 200 rescued animals there from zebras to camels to, well, actually Scottish Highland cows, which are beautiful cows because they have like little toupees on their heads. But anyway, this isn't about the Scottish Highland cows or the entire size of the ranch. This is really about the event that took place, which was Scale Day. And at Scale Day, we had entrepreneurs there who were doing anywhere from a million,

the way to 12 million a year. So we had entrepreneurs there, and what they wanted to learn was how to scale their businesses. And what I found, as we were working with some of them, is that they had these issues, for a lack of a better term, they had these issues that would get in the way of them building their dreams. Like, let's say, the $12 million business owner wanted to scale this thing to a $50 million business owner, but there was some dream killers in the way. And the million dollar business owner had some things that they could do that would

scale them to $5 million, $10 million, but there were some dream killers in the way. And so as we started to kind of poke and prod and ask questions, we found, it didn't matter if they had a $1 million, $1 million, $4 million, $10 million, $12 million business. There was always these dream killers that were the limiting beliefs or the limiting barriers to getting to the other side. And I realized that's not just in business. So you would think that these dream killers are just in business. they exist in every category of life.

And so I wanted to talk to you guys about that because I think so many people in life kind of go through life feeling like, uh, if I didn't have a chance, if there was no chance of failure or doubt or uncertainty, I might try X, right? Well, listen, the reality is there's always a chance of failure.

And there's always some uncertainty in anything you do, like whether you're going to start a business, whether you're going to lose weight, whether you're going to get, you know, try and get your black belt in jujitsu, whether you're going to try and, you know, find that honey and get married to the perfect woman, right? Like, whatever the thing is, there's always some level of risk, uncertainty, fear, and doubt. And so if every time you encountered that and it killed your dream,

you'd be this lonely dude sitting in your mom's basement playing video games with Cheeto dust all up in your belly button, right? We've talked about that. But that's not you. So you're the type of person who really wants more out of life. and I want to tell you what the dream killers in life are, because if you have any of these dream killers that are limiting your human experience, I want you to remove these dream killers

and end up living a life that is worthy of being a shining example to the people around you. And by the way, you only have one fucking life, right? Like, think about this, guys. We only have one life on this planet. And I think a lot of people live like this life is a trial run. Like maybe I don't know something that you do, but if you think that this is a trial run,

run and we're going to get a second and third run at this life. Fuck, someone, you know, let me know in the comments that there's another life coming because I'm working like and living like and enjoying like and experiencing like this is the one run that I have because I'm pretty certain it is. Hey guys, quick interruption to the Bedrose-Coolion show. I want to tell you about the newly reformulated truly wellness shot. Now, I wanted to create a supplement that was zero compromise that would boost your immune system, fight off inflammation in your gut, joint, and body so that you can keep getting after your

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Trulene Tribe subscription club, you will not only get 50% off your 30-day supply, but you also get free shipping. And it comes with a 30-day unconditional money-back guarantee. So for any reason, you don't like the Trulene Wellness Shots, and we have yet to meet anyone who doesn't like these awesome products, then just let us know and we'll give you a full refund and part ways as friend. Go to trulein.com. Check out the wellness shot. Use my name Bedros and get 50% off when you join the Truline tribe. You get free shipping, 30-day money-back guarantee. And I promise you, you're going to love this product and you're going to tell all your friends about it. Now back to the show. And so the dream killers that I found that

limit people's human experience, not only success financially, but success in life, happiness, relationship, health, right? Meaning experiences. There's a few things. man. So let's talk about that. So the first factor as I talk to people and start picking, and I'm like, hey, you've got a great story, right? Like this one woman there at the Scale Day event at our ranch, like she's got a $2 million business that does $2 million a year. She does about 23% profit margins on that. Not bad at all. However, she knows that she can get this thing to a $10 million business. And it's not an issue of like, I don't know how to get there in terms of, you know, creating more product or hiring more people, it's really, I don't know if I feel comfortable

telling my story because I don't know how people in my family will feel if I share my story. Now, you know this. If you're trying to grow a business, if you're trying to do anything, the more you can share on social media, the more you can share your story, be authentic, be credible, you know, connect with people, the more likely they are to do business with you. So she actively knows what she needs to do, that she knows there's a story that she needs to tell and that story would create a better connection with her. her audience and that audience would end up buying more of her products. However, she's constantly

in her head about what her parents might think, right? Now, she's in her 30s. Her parents are in their late 60s. And so she's like, look, I don't want to have to hear it from my parents. And so imagine how unfortunate it is that the success of her business is limited by what her parents might think. And quite honestly, I said, have you talked to your parents about sharing that part of your story to see what they would think? She said, no. So I said, so what you're really doing is you're making an assumption, right? So the first thing is that the number one dream killer out there are the people sometimes. The people that you're afraid to maybe offend, the people that you think might get hurt,

the people who have told you that, hey, our family doesn't talk about this kind of stuff. And those people could be parents. It could be your siblings. It could be, you know, your ethnicity, right? Like in the Armenian culture, the culture that I come from, you know, we don't talk about a lot of things. It's almost like, you know, if you're hurt, if you got offended, those things aren't talked about. You just have to kind of brush it under the rug. Well, if you brushed out under a rug, sooner or later, that's going to come up, right?

You're going to have resentment towards a person who offended you, who hurt you, who crossed you, who maybe did you wrong. And so, but you're supposed to always just show up happy and be respectful. And, well, you can only do that so long before you fucking lose your shit. And I share that with you because oftentimes one of the biggest dream killers are the people in your life. And sometimes they're dream killers because, like I said, there's story that you want to tell. There's an experience that you want to share, but you don't want to hurt their feelings. Or other times the people in your life tell you, be careful, watch out.

Don't do that. It's too risky. What if you do this and you fail, right? But what happens if you do it and you actually succeed and you actually make a lot of money and you take that money and you give it to your church and your charity and you give yourself an awesome fucking life and a great experience for your family? Like not a lot of family members out there are telling you like, hey, watch out what happens if you actually win at this thing, right? And most of them, while they have the best of intentions, and this is something we talked about at scale day, we all know that the path to hell is paved with good intentions, meaning oftentimes people have the best of intentions for you, but really they end up limiting your growth.

Because if you are your family members, they're your friends, they're your school teachers, their siblings, their cousins, they're people that you know, love and you respect, you put a lot. more weight on what they say. When you put a lot of weight on what they say, you end up making a decision that ends up limiting your human experience or your business or your love life, right? I can tell you this from firsthand experience that when I decided that I didn't want to be a smog technician, several people in my family said I was making a big mistake and that I was going to end up broke and end up coming back to my mom and dad's house to live with them because even though we escaped communism and came to the United States and the goal was that, hey, you can become anything you want. My dad especially was like, hey, why don't you be a tailor?

Run my tailor shop. I was like, no, not interested. He said, well, you like cars. Why don't you go be a smog technician, right? So I ultimately dropped out of college because college wasn't for me. And I went and joined the smog technical school, right, where you can, you know, here in Southern California, and I think in a lot of states, if your car is up for registration and, you and you need to get this damn thing registered, well, you got to go to a place where they can see if the car is emitting a lot of smog and CO2. And if it is, well, then you got to get it fixed.

And then they'll tell you if your car passes smog, and then you can get the registration and the sticker, right, for your license plate. Well, guess what? As much as I love cars, that doesn't mean that I want to be up the tailpipe of a fucking car, right? And so as I was going to smog technical school and I actually got all the credentials

and got smog tech certified, believe it or not, I decided this wasn't for me. And my dad's like, dude, what the hell? Like, this is a secure job. Everybody has cars. Every car needs to be smogged here in Southern California. Like, this is an opportunity for you have a good, safe career. But I wasn't looking for a good, safe career because that specific good safe career

wouldn't make me the kind of money that I would want to be able to give my future family the experiences, right, the lifestyle. I was like, man, like I see people driving multiple cars. I want to have multiple cars. I want to have multiple houses. I want to fly private. I want to have businesses and team members and like be known and write a book. And I knew all those things early on.

But being a smog tech wasn't going to get me there. And so when I decided against it, while my parents had the best of intentions for me, the truth of the matter is, had I followed their desire for me to be a smog technician, I would have had a lifelong of resentment towards them and regret in my life. And so again, going back to this one run that you have, this is like your only run in life, right? Don't you, I would rather, like, wouldn't you rather take the risk and try something that you're passionate about, that you're excited about, that you know gives you the sense of meaning and purpose and that you would jump out of bed with enthusiasm for rather than a safe career in an industry that maybe, you're not that warm and fuzzy about, right? And so understand that the people in your life. can be some of the biggest dream killers.

And they may not always do it with the intention to harm you. They truly do have the intention to keep you safe, to look after you, to make sure that you don't fail and that you don't get hurt. But guess what, baby? Part of life is about getting hurt, about failing and getting back up and dealing with adversity and setbacks and realizing that what you thought was a short path is actually going to be the long path to success. And you're going to have to take that journey if you really want it, right?

So understand that people can be a massive dream killer. What else can be a massive dream killer? Well, fear and doubt. We talked about that. If you have any kind of fear or doubt or uncertainty, then you are going to find yourself playing it safe. And I don't know anyone who's played it safe that lives a meaningful life

and has the kind of life where you're like, man, I want to be like them. I just don't. Like you look at any professional athlete, any musician, any actor or actress, you look at anyone that's done anything significant, right? I mean, look at Elon Musk. The dude comes from South America, South Africa, Ed.

Elon Musk, the blackest man on the planet comes from South Africa. Get it because he's white, but he's from South Africa. And this cat has taken so many risks. In fact, the most recent biggest risk he took was raising money to buy Twitter. And I shared this at Scale Day because the dude between NeuroLink, SpaceX, Tesla, the boring company, the guy has so many businesses and companies that generate revenue and profits for him. He did not have to buy Twitter. If you understand why he bought Twitter, and he said this publicly in interviews, he bought Twitter because he feels that Twitter

is America's kind of public form. It's America's City Hall. It is America's town center. And Twitter is where both left and right and middle, all people can. come and have dialogue. And once he was able to see that Twitter was used by the government and the feds to suppress certain type of posts and comments and ideologies, he was like, fuck, that means this country's about to go to shit. If I could buy Twitter, I could weed out everything and make it a legit public forum where people can have real good dialogue and come to a compromise and agreement and see if we can

actually move this country forward in the direction that it once was going, right? Sovereignty, freedom, capitalism, you know, having the Constitution supporting our way of life. And so he raised money. In fact, every interview that you see with Elon Musk, he's like, well, not every interview, but every other interview he'll tell you that, yeah, yep, every now and again, I regret buying Twitter. And so the interview would ask, well, why did you buy it then if, like, every other time you regret buying it. He goes, I bought it because I knew there was something I had to do as someone that loves this country, someone that comes from a country that has limits that doesn't give the same opportunities as the United States. I bought Twitter so that I can help this country stay free,

stay sovereign. And I thought that's a pretty fucking cool thing to do. But the man risked his career. I mean, think how many people hate him now because of what he uncovered at Twitter, right? How many people hate him? How much more death threats is he getting? How many people, people are trying to slander him. Like you want to talk about having your name run through the mud. Like you're afraid if you put up a post and that post might hurt some feelings, right? Well, this dude's name is being run through the mud every day. There's YouTube videos, blog posts, fucking Wikipedia accounts dedicated to slandering him.

But Elon don't give a fuck. And the reason he doesn't give a fuck is because he's a man on a mission. He's willing to take the risks and he moves past the fear, doubt, and uncertainty. He doesn't allow fear, doubt, and uncertainty to stop him. And if you allow fear, doubt, and uncertainty to stop you, that becomes another dream killer. What ends up happening is when you're on your deathbed. You're in your 90s, late 90s, 100 and some odd years old. You're like, fuck, what a wasted life.

And the truth of the matter is, it doesn't have to be on your deathbed. Regret starts hitting early on. I've talked to enough people in my time. I'm 49, and I've talked to enough people in their 60s and 70s who are like, man, I have these regrets. When I was 30, 40, and 50, I could have done X, Y, and Z. and I didn't. And I didn't because it was too risky. I didn't because these people said it wouldn't work for me and I believed them.

I didn't because I didn't want to offend people. I didn't because I didn't want to feel rejected. I didn't because I didn't want to fill in the blink, right? So understand that there's a lot of things that are designed to be dream killers. Some things like people have the best of intentions but still end up killing dreams. Other things like fear, doubt, and uncertainty end up literally scaring you to pieces. And therefore, you choose the path that's safest, but most benign. and you have a life that's just underpinned with mediocrity, right?

Now, the third thing that I've found that is a massive dream killer is a system. And when I say the system, I mean like the school system, the church system, the university system, the government system. It is designed to turn you into a good employee to earn your wages, pay your taxes, stay in debt. In fact, I don't know if you know this or not, but when you start paying your thing, off, when you start paying your things off, like if you start paying off your college debt and you clear your college debt, you clear your car note, your credit score actually begins to drop a little

bit. And the reason is credit score, the higher the better, is designed to keep you in debt. You know that, right? So while it's good to have a high credit score, it's actually designed to also keep you in debt because when you have debt and you are consistently paying off that debt without missing a payment or a deadline, your credit score is higher. But if you clear out your debt and you don't have debt, your credit score begins to drop. How about that? Like, shouldn't they reward you for being financially sound, for being financially sovereign, for being able to manage your money well?

But the system itself is designed to make into good employees to fear you from being a risk-taking, dreaming, visionary of an entrepreneur. It is designed to help you limit. your ideas, and they give you ideas. Like, think about it, you go to university. You can't say, well, I think I want to be this kind of like an e-commerce supplement sales company or a fitness franchise mogul, right? You know, they're like, hey, here's the categories for bachelor's degree, anthropology,

sociology, whatever the bullshitology, right? And it's all a fucking scam. It's designed to make you a good employee. And when you become a good employee, now you have debt. school debt, now you have taxes to pay. Now life is expensive. Inflation happens. You find yourself on this hamster wheel of always earning and paying, earning and paying and never really growing towards your dreams, your passions, your life experiences. You never get to that place of going like, hey, I want to go experience Barbados or fucking Bucharest or fucking, you know, go live in a castle in

Scotland. Like, these are all things that I've fucking done and they're fucking amazing, man. I want you to experience this. But that only happens when you look at the same. system and say, I don't want to be part of the system. I want to break out of the system, right? The system is designed to keep you in debt, to keep you broke, to keep you compliant and under control. And so what else do we have that is a dream killer? Well, this last and final one is what I call tactical avoidance. And I think a lot of you do this. Tactical avoidance is this. I'm going to be rich. I want to create a business, but I need to gather more information. or I'm tired of being a fat fuck,

tired of having chito dust in my belly button, I'm tired of having gelatinous titties, I'm tired of having my imprint of my ass and my mom's couch in the basement from playing all these video games, and I think I want to do something about my health. I'm going to lose fat and I'm going to build muscle. But for me to lose fat and build muscle,

I got to do a lot of research and figure out what workout is best for me. I got to do a lot of research and figure out what diet is best for me. I got to figure out what training split is going to work the best. I got to do a lot of research and figure out what business model I want to run, what kind of an entrepreneur I want to become. And tactical avoidance means you are doing this busy work,

but it's really procrastination and disguise, right? You're doing false research. It's just like research upon research upon research. It's a rabbit hole that never ends, quite honestly, right? And you find yourself, like, feeling productive because you have gathered a lot of information. You actually truly become pretty knowledgeable. You become knowledgeable.

like hey, did you know, there's like 14 different diets that'll help you get lean. And you know, there's like eight different training programs that'll help you build muscle and strength. And you know, like, there's these like 23 different types of business models that'll help you create passive income and laptop money, right? Well, okay, great, motherfucker. Why don't you try doing one of them? Well, I just need to gather a little bit more information.

I need to drill down from the 23 down to one. I got an idea. Why don't you just start at fucking 23 and they go to 22 and then go to 21 and eventually you'll find the one that works best for you, right? but that actually involves, again, risk. That involves putting your neck out there. That involves creating content consistently. That involves the potential of getting rejected.

That involves the potential of losing money. That involves the potential of the people telling you that you can't do it. You're not good enough. You don't know how. What if you fail? What if you don't make it? Right? But if you're always stuck in this tactical avoidance phase of life,

where you're gathering information, you're gathering knowledge, trying to figure out which diet, which program, what kind of chick you should marry? Like, all right, why don't you go on some dates? Why don't you make a list and then go on some dates and then objectively review how that date went? Right? But when you find yourself doing this tactical avoidance bullshit, it's really a false sense of productivity. You think you're doing something towards your life's mission, but in reality, you're not.

And oftentimes what you're really doing is slowly murdering your dreams. And that's why I call this the dream killer episode, right? Like there's a lot of dream killers out there from people to fear, doubt, an uncertainty to the system that's designed to keep you in line as a good little employee working just enough to make money but in debt just enough to not be able to break out of those shackles and then of course the tactical avoidance like I want to do something I want to do something big I want to do something grand I want to be a you know leave a legacy I want to be remembered I want to write a book but I need to do more research I need a fact find

I need to gather more information because until I gather that information I don't don't know exactly how I'm going to do it. So a day goes by, a week goes by, a month goes by, a year goes by, five years go by, 10 years go by. And you're like, well, the timing's not right. The economy's not right. We don't have the right president in place. And, you know, my finances aren't right.

Back in the day, I'm going to tell you this one story. I'm going to wrap this episode up. I'm going to tell you this one story because this is very, very important. So these days for Fit Body Boot Camp, I don't do any of the franchise sales. But way back in the day, 20, circa 2014, 2014, 15, I did the franchise sales. Right. So when someone filled out an application on Fit Body Boot Camp.com to open up a Fit Body Boot Camp franchise gym in their town anywhere across the world, I'd get on the phone with them. And I remember this one particular person, it started off, I think in late 2024 and by, I'm sorry, late 2014. And by late 2016, when they were finally ready to pull the trigger. And by the way, nothing changed for the

them. I talked to you literally, I talked to them for almost two years straight from late 2014 to late 2016. And periodically they would get on my radar and they would talk to me like, hey, I think I want it. I think I wanted in this zip code in my town or I wanted that zip code in my county, right? Okay, great, man. Let's get you started. Let's get you going. Let's see what kind of territory we can give you. We'll help you with the build out. We'll help you with finding staff. We'll help you with the marketing systems. Like, so you don't fail. This is going to be an awesome thing you're going to do. You're going to help so many people in your community with fitness while making money, like, what a fucking awesome thing. And then, boof, he would ghost me, ghost me for months.

And then pop, he would pop up again. And then, yeah, I think I'm interested. I'm ready to do this. But there's always an excuse. There was always like, well, the timing's not right for something, right? Maybe like, I remember one of the times the wife didn't agree. The other time we sent him the FD, the franchise disclosure document. And this motherfucker comes back and says, you know, well, my uncle is a retired lawyer. And he doesn't agree with all these different red lines that the uncle put through the franchise disclosure document. I'm like, bro, we can't, fuck can change any of that. Like our hundreds of franchise owners have all agreed to that franchise disclosure document. Like, you're not going to start a subway franchise or a 7-11 franchise or a

Jiffy Loop franchise and go to them and start redlining shit, right? Like, that's the FAA, the franchise agreement, and that's the FD, the franchise disclosure document, and that's the one you have to go with. And it's a fair FAA and FDD. Right. So then, boom, he would disappear again. So by the time he popped up on my radar in 2016, late 2016, he was ready to do it, guess what? That territory was sold. And he was like, what do you mean it's sold? I go, yeah, it's sold. And I think in the next like 90 days, the doors are going to open. He goes, well, where's it going to be? And I told him the zip code. And he's like, well, that's like four miles from me. I'm like, cool man. Well, now you can go work out at a Fit Body Boot Camp. But the point of this is, and I think General Norman Schwartzcoff

said this best during the 1990s war with Iraq, the first Iraqi war. And when the United States military was standing by, I believe it was in Syria, and was waiting to get the order from the president and Congress to enter Iraq and to start that war. Schwarzkopf, General Norman Schwarzkoff, found himself just waiting and waiting and waiting with all these like military men and women. They pretty much built a massive city, right? there in the middle of the desert and imagine all the cleaning they have to do of all the dust that gets kicked up and the debris that gets kicked up and the risk that they're having to face because

what if a scud missile gets you know lobbed on them right and so he reached out to congress and the president and he said ladies and gentlemen indecision is costing our american taxpayers more money than you guys making the wrong decision please figure out what decision you want to make and let us either invade iraq or pull out and come back home but indecision is costing you more costing Americans, more money than making the wrong decision. And indecision, my friends, is a dream killer. Make no mistake about it. Procrastination, tactical avoidance is a dream killer.

Like this gentleman that I'm telling you about who, you know, was interested in a fit body boot camp location and had at least a good year and a half to acquire that territory, ended up losing that opportunity simply because of fact finding, fact finding, fact finding, fear, uncertainty, doubt, people speaking into him saying, well, that's not a good franchise of scorcher document to sign. Okay. And then he lost the opportunity. And he was like, is there something you can do? Because I was the first one interested in that. Now, what am I going to do? Give the other person their money back and say, sorry, this guy's been indecisive for 18 months and now he's finally ready to pull the trigger. I'd rather take a decisive

person who's like, I'm ready to do this. And I'm going to figure it out and you guys are going to help me because you guys are the franchise headquarters. And that's exactly what we did. So again, friends, this is the only run we get at life. There's a lot of dream killers out there. Some come with the best of intentions. Others by design are designed to kill your dreams and to suffocate your ambition. You know what you're meant to do. You know what you desire to do. You know what your purpose and your meaning is going to be in life. Like you can sense it. You can feel a gnawing of greatness in you, right? And you know that you have to elevate to the 2.0 version to get there, but there is risk involved, that you have to fear, you have to face the fear and doubt and

uncertainty, and you have to go against some of the things that the people that you love and respect say, you do. I certainly did, right? My mom and dad wanted me to be a smock technician. They wanted me to take over my dad's tailor shop. I went completely off their reservation and did something very different. And I knew that what I was going to do involved a lot of risk, involved a lot of sacrifice, but I also knew that if I didn't do it, there would be a lot of regret and resentment.

of not only self, but of others who were trying to talk me out of it. And it was the greatest, single greatest thing I did is to listen to my radiance within. Instead of listening to the fears and doubts, instead of listening to the system and complying, instead of, you know, tactically gathering all this information and avoiding doing the real work and launching. And so I want you to do the same.

This is the one life, live it. And remember this, that average is the enemy, that success is your responsibility and change can take place in an instant if you are willing to flip the switch. I'll see you next time. What's the difference between me and you? Back when Q was rolling with Lorenzo and a Benzo,

I was banging with a gang of instrumental.