Bedros Keuilian Podcast Show - 089. The TRUTH about personal development

Episode Date: June 11, 2024

I am one of the biggest advocates for personal development. But many people got it twisted on how personal development actually works. In this episode of the Bedros Keuilian Show, I share the TRUTH about personal development. And the real reason why it acts like a crutch for most who start becoming their 2.0 Self. BEDROS KEUILIAN LIVE 2024 | September 13-14, 2024 in Scottsdale, AZ https://live.bedroskeuilian.com/bk-live-2024 REGISTER FOR THE LEGACY TRIBE Get the Life, Money, Meaning & Impact You Deserve https://bedroskeuilian.com/legacytribe JOIN MY FREE 6-WEEK CHALLENGE: Transform into a Purpose-Driven Man https://bedroskeuilian.com/challenge TruLean Supplements | https://www.trulean.com/pages/bedros Get 50% Off Trulean Subscribe & Save Bundle Use Code: BEDROS Few Will Hunt Apparel | https://fewwillhunt.com/ Get 20% Off Your Entire Order Use Code: BEDROS OPEN A FIT BODY LOCATION A High-Profit, Scalable Gym Franchise Opportunity Driven By Impact https://sales.fbbcfranchise.com/get-started?utm_source=bedros BECOME A MODERN DAY KNIGHT: Join the MDK Project https://www.themdkproject.com/ PODCAST EPISODES: https://bedroskeuilian.com/podcast/ STAY CONNECTED: Website | https://bedroskeuilian.com/ Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/bedroskeuilian/ LinkedIn | https://www.linkedin.com/in/bedroskeuilian Twitter | https://twitter.com/bedroskeuilian

Self-development, self-mastery, is a verb. It's an action. And unless you take action towards becoming that highest-level version of yourself, you will never, ever achieve it through the books. And I'm here to tell you it's not going to take months. It's going to take years. Welcome to the Bedroskulean show. Back when Q was rolling with Lorenzo and a Benzo, I was banging with a gang of instrumental.

Hey friends, welcome to the Bedroskulean show. My name is Bedroskulian. And today I've got an episode teed up for you. that is all about the truth about personal development. And the reality is there's a lot of myths about personal development. And I want to share the truth to you guys because it is more difficult. It is more strenuous. It's going to take a lot longer than you think to become the best version of yourself.

When you think about what personal development is, it is the idea of becoming the best version of yourself, mentally, physically, emotionally, relationally, financially. and that is not going to happen easily. And if you're one of those people that thinks that personal development, personal growth, or what I call self-mastery is supposed to come easily, then it's not. Now, here is the truth about personal development. You're not going to get it from books. You're not going to get it from watching YouTube videos.

You're not going to get it from listening to podcasts. You're not going to get it from going to live events, seminars, and shit like that. And you're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, Bedros, what do you mean? You actually wrote a book called Man Up. and it's focused on literally becoming the best version of yourself in business and in life. Isn't that a personal development book? Well, yes, it is. However, information alone will not get you there.

And this is really what I want to stress about. And far too often, especially in the social media world that we've created, you've got all these influencers, thought leaders, experts, and gurus who, well, tell you how to do the ice bath and tell you ought to, you know, learn to forgive and move on by your past and then write the books and all these things. And it's not their fault. Like, it's not their fault. What they're saying is true. But what you're doing is inaccurate. And what I mean by that is when you are just reading books, listening to audio programs, watching YouTube videos on personal development and self-mastery, going to seminars, that's not enough. When you're just gathering information,

you're in a place where you're gathering information, but unless you're, take action on it, you're not going to produce the outcome, right? Like if someone's like, hey, here's a business blueprint on how to make a million dollars a year and you study it, you're like, okay, got it. Business blueprint on how to make a million dollars a year. First, build an audience by putting out great content on a specific topic that you're interested in. Okay, check. Once I've built the audience, then I need to put out the product or service. When I put out the product or service, I need to move them to a call to action. That call to action could be a landing page where they fill out an application or buy the product or it could be a slide into my DMs and have a conversion

conversation. If I have enough of these applications or conversion conversations and I can convert some of them into paying clients, if I turn so many of them into paying clients, then I'll be making $83,33,000 a month. And I do that for 12 months and I've got a million dollar business. And let's say the strategy, the content strategy is laid out for you. Let's say that all the different types of coaching services that you can offer, high ticket coaching, retreats, right, group coaching programs are all laid out for you. the sales process is laid out for you the marketing process is laid out for you the cadence in which you should put the content out is laid out for you at the end of the day if you don't take action on

it you ain't going to get it you ain't going to get it yes you have an understanding of what needs to be done you know the game plan you know the blueprint you know the steps but unless you do it you're not going to produce the million dollars right so when we read books about in the in the genre of self-mastery, personal growth, personal development, reading the books, watching the videos, going to the events, seminars is not enough. It is literally a verb. Personal development is a verb. You have to take action on it.

And there's no two things that will lead a person to their higher self, like self-mastery, than this. Working out, specifically, going for a specific type of physique and building a business. And I want to talk to you about that because both of those take a massive amount of action, right? Think about if you're working out specifically to, let's say, lose 50 pounds of fat, right? You're like, okay, I weigh 300 pounds. My goal is 250. Well, if you have 50 pounds of fat to lose, that is a very specific goal.

That means your diet has to adjust. That means you're meal prepping every day. You're doing stuff, right? Your diet has to adjust. You have to eliminate some stuff and you have to. add other stuff to it to hit your macros. Your desired amount of proteins, fats, and carbs have to be hit for you to lose those 15 pounds or 50 pounds, I should say, while you're doing the right workouts in the gym, four, five, six days a week to build the muscle and to burn the fat. Both of those

things, the nutrition side of it and the workout side of it require for you to be consistent, require that you stay focused, require a high level of discipline to keep showing up every day, even on the days that you don't feel like it, to keep showing up on the days that it's cold, on the days that it's hot, on the days that you don't, you didn't sleep well,

on the days that you just didn't get a good muscle pump to not quit, but actually stay in that workout and keep going to keep eating the food that maybe is boring and it's not sexy and it's not a pizza and it's not a hamburger, it's not a bowl of french fries, but it is food that is going to take you to your desire outcome but eating clean all day long and working out really well that one time is not going to get

you there right so that is a consistency factor the folks staying focused factor that is the discipline factor right and that is the delaying of gratification factor all these things begin to build personal development because think about this when you're working out in the gym and you get a you get an injury it takes a high level of personal development and self-mastery to go I'm still going to go to the gym and work out other body parts. Because think about what most people do. They give up easily. Undeveloped people, people that do not have self-mastery, go, oh, I hurt my shoulder,

so I haven't worked out for four months. Or I hurt my knee and I haven't worked out for six years. Or I've got this back pain and I haven't exercised for a year. Well, all right. So you have a hurt shoulder or a knee or back pain. Have you considered working out in a different way? Have you considered working out other muscles and not exercising that one joint. For example, when I tore my tricep just over a year ago, I obviously

could not train any of my left side, right? I couldn't do any pushing, any pulling. It was like a hot knife going through my elbow bone, right? Right, right where the elbow is. And with your tricep muscle disconnected, you can imagine how much black and blue and discoloration I had. But I was in the gym training my right side. I was in the gym training my legs. I was in the gym doing the cardio. I was still eating right because I knew that a highly developed version of myself can continue to go even when it hurts, even when it's uncomfortable, even when I'm not going to be moving the kind of weight that I can move because how are you going to squat when you can't even hold the bar because you can't lift your arm up, right? For over two months, I couldn't lift my arm anywhere near,

like bring my hand anywhere near my ear. So there go shoulder presses, there go chest presses, they're going to kind of lap pull downs, they're going to kind of hold in the bar over your shoulders. So to really have to train my legs, I have to get creative. To really have to train my body, I had to get creative. There were days that the pain was so great. I didn't even want to get out of bed, right? Like your fingers were swollen and full of blood because of all that edema. But I share that with you because I have done so much work on self over 13 years of personal growth and development that I don't know what would have to happen in my life for me to not go to the gym, for me to not get that workout. And for me not to be congruent. And for me not to be congruent.

with the version that I tell people who I am. Because how could I create content and put it on a podcast platform on YouTube, on Instagram, et cetera, and try and be an example to you when I'm actually acting like a hypocrite and not following through with the things that I say you ought to do, right?

That is the literally definition of hypocrite. And so personal development is exactly that, my friends. It is the highest level of action that you can take towards your goals, when you don't feel like it, even when the timing's not right, even when you're stressed, overwhelmed, sleep deprived, it's cold, it's hot, it's raining, it's snowing, you got in an argument, you had a nightmare, you got a boo-boo on your finger, or you tore a trisept or the knee hurts, the shoulder hurts, you can work around those muscles and joints. But that is what a well-developed self-mastered

human does. Now on the flip side of it, as I told you, entrepreneurship, launching a business is another great form of personal development. How come? Well, think about this. If you, if you you want to know how much risk you can take, like, like, what kind of risk taker you really are. You can either sit there and like give lip service. Like, yeah, man, I'm a risk taker. Yeah, man, I'll put my neck out. All right. Well, creating a business in an industry that's highly competitive, which, by the way,

all industries today are highly competitive. I don't know of a single industry that is not competitive. But creating a business in an industry that's highly competitive where you're not guaranteed the outcome, you're only guaranteed the work. the adversity and the suffering, but you are not guaranteed the outcome that's likely going to take you much longer and cost you much more than you think. Like that takes a high level of self-development, self-mastery and personal development to get there, right?

Because there is no guarantee to a successful profitable business. In fact, most people know that over 80% of businesses go out of business within the first five years. And 67% of businesses that have been around beyond the five years are either breaking even or not profiting. They're literally just putzing along. Like you can make more money having a job. Yet it's the entrepreneur that says, I am meant to do this. I am meant to be here. I meant to create this. I'm meant to create a better mouse trap. I'm going to figure out how to better market it. And just when I run out of money, I have to figure out how to get resourceful and gather money, borrow money, take out a loan, sell stuff that I have that I don't want to sell so that I can

keep funding this business that I truly believe in. That takes a high level of self-mastery. Think how much risk you have to take, how much shit you have to eat, how much adversity you have to deal with, how much patience you need, how much of a communicator you have to become to be able to lead a team of employees, right? What a great visionary you have to be to visualize what your business is going to look like a year from now, three years from now, five years from now, a decade from now, to be able to realize that money may not be immediately available to me right now. I may be broke for a period of months or a couple of few years, but I'm going to have to figure out how to get scrappy.

All of those things create a high level of self-mastery. And I once heard someone say that personal development is really you, you, breaking through the old versions of yourself to discover the highest version of yourself. And that takes time. And the truth about it is most people think it's reading a book, listening to a couple podcast episodes, and understanding that, oh, I need mental toughness, I need emotional discipline, I need a routine that's structured, I need some kind of time management, I need to be able to control my diet and have a workout and be able to make money.

Yeah, all of those things are it. but it's easy to talk about it, but it's very difficult to be about it. And then what about the different layers of personal development? Like, who's talked to you about this? Like, all right, so let's say you're structured. You have a morning routine. You are now eating right and working out and you've created a business and it's making you money. There is layers to personal development and self-mastery, my friend.

And what I mean by that is think about this. If you've dealt with any kind of abuse, physical abuse, sexual abuse, mental and emotional abuse, like there's a level of trauma that you have to overcome. There's a level of emotional healing that has to happen. And most of you have heard me talk about this before. I was sexually abused when I was a young boy. Between the ages of four and six, I was molested by two older boys when we lived in Armenia. You can imagine the mental and emotional scars that leaves on you. A low level of self-worth, a low level of self-esteem, no confidence growing up, being very angry, being confused, having a lot of shame, right?

Like, those are things you have to heal from if you plan on being a good spouse, if you plan on being a good parent, if you plan on being a good leader. And so just knowing how to make money and how to be fit, but still being emotionally crippled, mentally crippled, because you haven't healed from the traumas that you've experienced is not a self-mastered human. It's not. I can tell you this.

I know a lot of millionaires, a ton of millionaires, multi-millionaires who are making good money, they have figured out how to take risks and eat a lot of shit and communicate well and be visionaries. And when I say eat a lot of shit in case you're wondering, like, as entrepreneurs, like we have to do a lot of things behind the scenes that we never anticipated doing

because when we made the plan of, oh, here's how I build a $100 million business, right? Like when I'm like, all right, I'm going to build this franchise, Fit Body Boot Camp, and it's going to be a $100 million franchise, Well, I didn't plan on a pandemic. I didn't plan on the state of California trying to find me $2,500 per location because before I became a franchise, I was a licensing program, right? FitBody Boot Camp used to be a licensing program.

And I was giving a protected territory to all of my licensees so that they feel protected in terms of distance from another Fit Body Boot Camp. Because I don't know if you know this about CrossFit or not. And this isn't a strike on CrossFit, like good for CrossFit for doing things this way. We'll put a location. They'll just say, yeah, if you want to open five locations in the small town, go for it. We don't care. It's survival of the fittest. And to some degree, while I appreciate that, I think it's pretty fucked up.

Like if a franchisee or a licensee gives me money and I put them in a place where later on, I'll approve another second, third, fourth, or fifth location to come in and now they have to battle it out. I wanted my franchisees to be complementary, not competitive, right? and well at the time my licensees and I share that with you because when the state of California came to me and said hey look you're given to protected territory you're now operating as a franchise yet you're not a fucking franchise you're a licensing program so we're going to find you $2,500 per location at the time I had more than a hundred locations opened so think about

that $250,000 is what they were asking me for in the beginning first two years of fit body boot camp back in 2011, right, 2010, 2011, when I was a licensing program. And so, like, I did not anticipate that. I had to eat that shit, right? And I had to go and negotiate with the state of California. I had to ask them to not find me. I had to let them know that if they allow me to then become a franchise, let me do the paperwork, spend the money to become a franchise,

then I won't sell another location as a licensing program until I'm a franchise. And it cost me $89,000 and about $7,000. six months to officially become a franchise. So for a period of time, I couldn't make any new money. That's a lot of shit you have to eat when you're having to deal with the state that wants to find you a quarter million dollars when you just launch your franchise, right? That's a lot of shit you have to deal with when you're trying to navigate the franchising waters when all of a sudden you realize, oh, the Federal Trade Commission overseas franchises

and I have to figure out how to deal with the Federal Trade Commission and the three audits per year. That's a lot of shit you have to eat when you realize that competition just got funded and now they're starting to take over areas that you're trying to grow in. And so we had to figure it out. Now, on the plan that I grew, I was like, oh, we're going to take the outdoor boot camp. We're going to bring it indoors and we're going to grow fit body boot camp. Like the plan that I wrote back in 2009, 2010 was we're going to take the outdoor boot camp, bring it indoors, bring equipment to it, create systems, a workout. It should cost me about this

much dollars and then I could literally license it out across the entire country and we can have a new group training model that works. It's like one-on-one personal training but more affordable and convenient for clients. That was the plan that I had on paper and the plan is only perfect on paper because once you go to execute, that perfect plan is gone. Now you're dealing with competition. You're dealing with a state that wants to find you. You're dealing with, oh my God, it's costing way too much and I didn't anticipate and put away enough money for this, right? You're dealing with a pandemic years later, that now you're over 600 locations and then boom, the pandemic eats up 200 some odd locations, right? Now, FitBody Boot Camp is a savage, savage business model and so we were able

to survive and thrive after the pandemic. But imagine the level of growth that I as the founder develop while going through every one of those steps of adversity. Hey, guys, quick interruption to the show. If you are passionate, about fitness like I am and you want to be an entrepreneur, then Fit Body Boot Camp might be the right business model for you. I started the Fit Body Boot Camp franchise years ago because I knew we could help more people live healthy, active lives across every community in the country through group personal training. And that's exactly what Fit Body Boot Camp is. We have created a model that is going to make you a profitable and a happy business owner. We give you all the systems done for you and you just have

to follow the systems. So if you want to see if a Fit Body Boot Camp territory is available in your area, then I want you to go to fitbody bootcamp.com, click on franchising and apply to become a fit body boot camp owner. Back to the show. I really believe entrepreneurship is probably one of the highest forms of personal development. Entrepreneurship and then developing your body into the vision that you idealize in your mind's eye, those two things are the highest form of personal development because both of those things require for you to delay gratification, stay focused, be consistent, eat a lot of shit. It's going to take longer than you thought.

It's going to take more effort than you anticipated. It's going to be more painful, emotionally, physically, mentally. And when you continue to go through those things, you begin to develop a high level of resilience, resourcefulness, and relentlessness. And those are the things that lead to the higher self. You develop this emotional discipline where things can't piss you off and set you off anymore. You don't have those emotional peaks and values anymore because you are battle hardened from the gym. You are battle hardened from building a business and you are battle hardened mentally physically and emotionally. Like what can beat you up when you've gone and taken a

massive multimillion dollar business through the pandemic and you didn't have to take out any loans? You didn't have to sell off any equity to keep yourself in business. Like FitBody Boot Camp is still self-funded, right? We are still self-funded. And that's what I love about what we do as entrepreneurs. The growth that you develop as a human is unmatched when you're an entrepreneur. The growth that you develop as a human is unmatched when you decide that I'm going to put on X number of pounds of muscle or I'm going to lose X number of pounds of fat. I'm going to get lean and jacked and stay lean and jacked. And previously I've done an episode about make money and get jacked, right? Make money and get jacked. And really the episode wasn't just about like, hey,

make money and get jacked because there's two really cool awesome things. Like who doesn't want to be jacked and who doesn't want to have an obscene amount of money where they have lifestyle and financial freedom. Everybody does. But in the process of making money and getting jacked, you also develop to the highest level version of yourself because you have to deal with so much shit. You developed a Zen like fucking vibe about you. Like you could almost see into the fourth dimension, right? You can see through people's bullshit. You can see who's got swagger, who doesn't, who really walks to walk and who's a bullshit fucking con artist. Because when you have gone through a lot, you develop a sense about yourself.

And you begin to connect with higher self. And that's the truth about personal development, that there's layers to it. Just when you start developing a discipline and a routine and you start making some money and getting in shape, like there's that level of personal development that comes from healing that you have to do, right? You have to heal your emotional. wounds, your physical wounds, your mental wounds, whether you were molested like I was or you were emotionally and mentally beaten down, right? You have to heal from that. You have to learn to forgive.

You have to learn to move on. You have to learn to love again. You have to learn to have self-respect. And all those things take so much time. And none of those things are a byproduct of just reading a book. None of those things are a byproduct of just watching a YouTube video. they're certainly not a byproduct of just going to a seminar and getting hyped up for two or three days and then coming home into your shit life again and living your shit routine that gives you the shit outcome, right? What produces the outcome is the fact that you go, okay, I read this book. Now I'm going to go take action on it. I'm going to distance myself from the losers in my life.

I'm going to distance myself from the vices that keep me addicted. You want to talk about another fucking layer in addition to like the routine and making money and having structure? and then there's the next layer of like healing through your shit, right? And once you've healed through your adversities and traumas, there's that layer of addictions and vices, addiction to pornography, addiction to drugs, addiction to vaping, weed, alcohol, food, gaming, social media. All those addictions are just forms of escapes that you use to hide, shield and

soothe yourself, to escape from the reality. like it takes a high level of self-mastery and personal development to go, all right, these vices and addictions are not just something that I use recreationally anymore. They are things that I use to cope with life. They are things that I use to cope with the anxiety and depression that I'm having. And you want to talk about another level? Like now we're down like four levels in, right? Because now we're past addictions and vices. How about the depression, anxiety, and overwhelmed that you're feeling. That is your highest level of consciousness, right? That is your conscience going, hey, I know you're not living a congruent life. You're not living the kind of life that you

visualize that you deserve in your head. And your subconscious mind will make you feel anxious, depressed, and overwhelmed as a way of getting your attention, man, so that you will start taking action towards living the congruent life that you. visualizing your head, like that idealized version of the man that you love, respect, and admire, building the business that can feed your family, building the financial freedom that gives you options and choices in life where you're no longer feeling dependent on the system. These are the things that personal development is. And so you can't just read concepts about it because reading concepts just makes you an intelligent

person that understands what personal development and self-mastery is, but you don't live it because you haven't done it because self-development, self-mastery is a verb. It's an action. And unless you take action towards becoming that highest-level version of yourself, you will never, ever achieve it through the books. And I'm here to tell you it's not going to take months. It's going to take years. It is at least a decade worth of journey of reading the books. watching the videos, taking the actions, cleaning up the diet, distancing yourself from the losers in your life, creating a routine, becoming more productive, setting up a vision of what you want your life and your business to look like, becoming a better leader, better communicator, better emotionally disciplined human who's respected,

building that business even when competition is high, even when the economy is not favorable, even when interest rates are through the roof, even when inflation is choking people out, even when you don't have the means to write a check for payroll that week, you are finding a way to write a check anyways. Like those are the things that build the higher self. And so, of course, you've got to read books and watch videos to get the marching orders, but you've got to start marching, right? And that's what it is, the marching orders. The books themselves, the videos, the audio programs, the podcast, the fucking live events. That is just information.

Information alone not acted on just makes you a really intelligent but basically undeveloped human animal. You're still emotional. You're still reactive. You still can't control your thoughts. You're still depressed and anxious. And you're like, yeah, I know what I need to do. I need to start working out.

I need to eat clean. I need to stop these vices and addictions. I need to start making more money. I need to start healing. But remember, self-mastery is a verb. And that means you have to start doing the work. And doing the work is the hardest thing because each time you do the work,

you realize there is fucking levels and layers to this game. And that's the truth about personal development, my friends. I'm here to tell you the truth because of anyone that says in 30 days, they're going to heal you, or in 60 days or nine months, it's not. It is a decade minimum worth of work. And then once you're there,

you have to maintain it because the inertia of humanity wants to take you back to being that human animal. And if you want to become connected to higher self, to consciousness, to source, you have to keep doing the work, right? And it's no different then when you've eaten right and you have trained hard and you finally went from 300 pounds to 250,

pounds and you're happy with the way you look and feel, the moment you revert back to your old habits, you become that fat fuck again, that's 300 pounds, lazy and undisciplined. It's easier to lose the weight, build the muscle, than it is to keep it for decades on end. Self-mastery is not the process of getting fit. it is staying fit for decades. Self-mastery is not the process of making millions. It is the process of maintaining and growing those millions over decades. Self-mastery is not just getting married and having a family that looks good on social media.

It is maintaining that family over years to come, right? Growing those kids, pouring into them, becoming their heroes, being a shining, example of great humanity. That is self-mastery. It's not the process of getting there once the destination. It is the process of staying at the fucking destination for decades to come. That is a self-developed self-mastered human. And I hope you're willing to go on that journey because if you are, I promise you it'll be the greatest journey ever. And if you want to take a challenge, I got a great six-week challenge for you that you can take. I want you to go to bed, Roseculean.com forward slash challenge and download my six week marathon challenge. It's absolutely free.

I give you six weeks of the training program that I used to train for and run a marathon in six weeks. I'd never run a marathon. I told myself that I'm not designed to run, that I'm built to lift weights, that I don't, it's not for me. And then finally I was tired of my own bullshit. I was tired of fucking lying to myself. I was tired of playing small. I was like, you know what? I could fucking run a marathon. So I hired a running coach, trained for six weeks, and then off I went and ran the San Diego Rock and Roll Marathon and crushed it. And I shared this with you because if you want to do something towards your launch of personal development and self-mastery, it is to do the six-week marathon challenge. The link is in the description box if you're watching us on YouTube. Or you go to bedrosecoolling.com

forward slash challenge. And you get the entire training program for free. You get the nutrition program for free, and you also get six weeks of mindset and motivation talks for me for free. And the reason I want you to do this is because as you push yourself through the training of that marathon and then finally running that marathon at the end of six weeks, you will have discovered a better version of yourself. And you'll see how quickly personal development can come. But there's also phases in personal development, just so you know, where you're stuck there for a while. I've been stuck in phases for a while. And that's the time that you don't give up.

That's the time that you don't quit. That's the time that you go, what is the hang up and what do I need to do to go around this, over this, under this, or through this? But more often than not, when we reach a sticking point, what do we do? We go, well, I guess that's all the development I can have. No, man, you know there's more. So do more. So guys, I want you to really focus on your personal development, your self-mastery, commit for a decade and then a lifetime from that day forward because it is so much better living as your 2.0 self, your highest self, the self-connected to the source, the self-connected and transcended to higher self. And I want you to also remember this, that averages the enemy, that success is your responsibility. And change can take place in an instant

if you are willing to flip the switch. I'll see you next time. Was rolling with Lorenzo and a Benzo I was banging with a gang of instrumentum