Bedros Keuilian Podcast Show - 093. THIS is more important than making money AND being jacked…

Episode Date: July 9, 2024

Taking your fitness and financial success should always be your top priority. But your #1 priority should be mastering yourself. In this episode of the Bedros Keuilian Show, I share how pursuing self-mastery is the greatest work any man can ever do. And why self-mastery will always give you a higher ROI than physical fitness or financial success. BEDROS KEUILIAN LIVE 2024 | September 13-14, 2024 in Scottsdale, AZ https://live.bedroskeuilian.com/bk-live-2024 REGISTER FOR THE LEGACY TRIBE Get the Life, Money, Meaning & Impact You Deserve https://bedroskeuilian.com/legacytribe JOIN MY FREE 6-WEEK CHALLENGE: Transform into a Purpose-Driven Man https://bedroskeuilian.com/challenge TruLean Supplements | https://www.trulean.com/pages/bedros Get 50% Off Trulean Subscribe & Save Bundle Use Code: BEDROS Few Will Hunt Apparel | https://fewwillhunt.com/ Get 20% Off Your Entire Order Use Code: BEDROS OPEN A FIT BODY LOCATION A High-Profit, Scalable Gym Franchise Opportunity Driven By Impact https://sales.fbbcfranchise.com/get-started?utm_source=bedros BECOME A MODERN DAY KNIGHT: Join the MDK Project https://www.themdkproject.com/ PODCAST EPISODES: https://bedroskeuilian.com/podcast/ STAY CONNECTED: Website | https://bedroskeuilian.com/ Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/bedroskeuilian/ LinkedIn | https://www.linkedin.com/in/bedroskeuilian Twitter | https://twitter.com/bedroskeuilian

Self-mastery is the greatest work any man could ever do for himself. Welcome to the Bedrosk Coolian show. Back when Q was rolling with Lorenzo and a Benzo, I was banging with a gang of instrumental. Hey friends, welcome to the Bedrose-Cooleyan show. My name is Bedrose-Coolian, and we've got a great episode teed up for you. Today, it is something that we talk about here often, but we're going to talk about in a very different way. Now, as you know, here on the BK show, we talk about three specific things that are the core values of what this show stands for and what I want to see you achieve in life. Those three things are money,

meaning, and self-mastery. Now, the thing we're going to talk about today is self-mastery, the work that is the highest value in terms of return on investment, self-mastery, which ironically is also the work most people don't want to do. Because if I say, hey, get fit, get jacked, make a lot of money, you're like, fuck it, and I could do that. I can work out, I could eat right, I can make money and that will transform my life. And it absolutely will. But that is something that I tell you because that is the long way of going around to fixing your life, to getting over the traumas and all the shit that is holding you back and causing

you to self-sabotage and all the vices that you're taking and all the shit that you're smoking and drinking and television that you're watching and the food that you're eating to escape the realities of life because they are fucking with you, my friend. Right. Now, self-mastery is the greatest world. that any man can do, period. Like, more important than making money, more important than being fit,

self-mastery is about being able to heal from the traumas that you've experienced in life. Maybe like me, you've experienced sexual abuse. If you're new to the show, then you probably don't know this, but I talk about it often, although not as often as I probably should, because each time I talk about this,

it's like reliving it for me again. And I've made a commitment to talk about it less, both here on my show and also from stage when I'm speaking at events. But it's worth mentioning here and now that when I was a young boy, between the ages of four and six, I was molested by two older boys in Armenia, communist Soviet Union where we lived. Now, when I was six years old, my family and I escaped and came to the United States as political refugees. And we lived in Section 8 housing and we lived in the ghettos and we didn't have much food.

We lived on, you know, food stamps and hand me down clothes and whatever. We got by. But when you're living in Section 8 housing and in the ghettos, you're surrounded by some unsavory characters who also are going to pick on you. So not only was I beat up in the Section 8 housing complexes once we came to America, but before we left Armenia, I was molested by two older boys over and over again between the ages of four and six. Now, as you can imagine, being a foreigner to this country, not speaking English, not understanding the language, being beat up and and called names and then being molested sexually in Armenia, that left a lot of scars on me mentally and emotionally.

And you would think that it would have been a good idea to deal with them as a kid. Now, I kept my mouth shut. I told no one about it ever until the age of 38 when I had a massive panic attack. Now, if you've ever read my book, Man Up, then you know that the chapter that I talk about, that I titled The Morning of My Heart Attack is really about how I had a massive panic attack. I thought I was having a heart attack because I had never had a heart attack before and both arms were tingling and my throat was closing up and I had tunnel vision and my heart was racing and I'm pouring sweat and I'm like just overheating and I'm like, holy fuck, I'm 38 years old and I'm about to die.

This is a heart attack. I was so stressed out trying to grow my businesses. Well, lo and behold, it wasn't a heart attack. It was my first of many panic attacks. And when I went to the doctor, the doctor was like, dude, your heart is fine. We tested you, but it seems like you had a panic attack and you need to manage your stress and you need to be able to cope with your stress and your anxiety better. Otherwise, you're going to have more of these.

So it was then that I went and started working with Kevin Downing. I've talked about Kevin before. He's a therapist, a psychologist out here in Brea, California, an amazing human being. Since then, I think I've probably referred 60, 70 men to Kevin Downing. And he's worked with many of them to help them overcome their shit, to heal from their traumas, to heal from the adversity that they've faced. Because let's face it. Like, if you're a human, there's a high probability that you've just experienced some level

of trauma of abuse. And it doesn't matter if it's sexual abuse, physical abuse, mental abuse, emotional abuse. whatever the abuse source was, it lights up that part of your brain and that that fight or flight system where you're always anxious, you're always on edge. And when you start getting overworked and you're trying to launch a business or maybe you're trying to get into a relationship or you're trying to get fit, you're doing something new. You begin to self-sabotage because you don't feel worthy. You don't feel deserving of this new success in business or this relationship or this new body that you want to develop or the money that you want to make and the debt you want to get out of,

right? And so a lot of times the traumas that we've experienced end up leaving like a fingerprint on us that make us feel unworthy, unlovable, broken, full of shame. And we self-sabotage and we try and escape from all that mental and emotional pain by over-drinking, over-eating, over-social mediaing, pornography, gambling, weed, vape, whatever. the addiction is the vices, it's probably a byproduct of you trying to escape from the pain that you're feeling. Now, the pain that you're feeling, that anxiety, that depression is because you have not healed from the traumas that you've experienced.

And so when I say that the greatest work that any man or woman could ever do is the work that they do on themselves, I don't just mean physically getting leaner and more jacked and building muscles. I'm talking about the work on working on yourself, on connecting. with higher self, killing the human animal within. The human animal who doesn't feel worthy, who doesn't feel lovable, who doesn't feel deserving, the human animal that is self-sabotaging, the human animal that is greedy and selfish, the human animal that is impulsive, the human animal that is reactive, right?

And then transcending coming up to the 2.0 self. The human animal is your 1.0 self. That is the lowest version of you that exists, the 1.0 self, who, who, emotional, who's reckless, who's impulsive, and who quite frankly doesn't make good decisions in life, right? Let's be fucking honest here. The 2.0 version of yourself is the one who is in the process of achieving self-mastery, personal development, healing from the traumas, the abuse that you face, learning to fall in love with yourself, learning to show grace to yourself, learning to accept an apology, learning to forgive the people that hurt you. I'm not saying

forget these motherfuckers, but I am saying you ought to consider forgiving them. because if you don't forgive them and you hold on to that grudge, all you're really doing is punishing yourself for an act that took place years ago, if not decades ago. And I know that from firsthand. Now, here I am 11 years later from that feeling like that panic attack that I had. After working with Kevin Downing, after reading a lot of books on self-development and self-help,

one of the greatest books I've read, in fact, two books that I'm going to recommend to. One of them, you've heard me talk about this before, Napoleon Hill's book Outwitting the Devil, right? Fucking awesome book that every single one of you should read. Napoleon Hill's book Outwitting the Devil. The other book I recommend you read is The Body Keeps the Score. I think the author's name is Dr. Van Beasel. The Body Keeps the Score.

Just look it up on Amazon, get it on audio, or get the physical book and read it. Because the body truly does keep the score when you have experienced any kind of physical, mental, emotional, abuse, sexual abuse, right? Like when you've experienced the abuse, your body keeps the score. You're on edge. Uh, you're, you're addicted, you're jumpy, you're always suspicious of people. You don't know how to build relationships because you can't trust. You can't let people in. Like that was fucking me, man. I couldn't let people in. Like how the fuck am I going to thrive in a relationship when I can't let someone in? How am I going to work a business partnership when I can't even trust my business partner, right? Because you have trust issues when you're

you've experienced any kind of abuse. And so when you think about all the different fucking levels of self-sabotaging that exist and then all the different vices that we use to escape from the pain that we're feeling, the frustrations that we have, like how long are you going to run away from the pain, from the feeling unlovable and not worthy and feeling, like you don't deserve success and happiness. And therefore, when you start achieving a little bit of success and happiness like I did, what do you do? You're like, this is unfamiliar. It's unfamiliar. I'm going to self-sabotage. It's not a conscious decision you make. You know that, right? It is a subconscious

decision that you end up making because you have not healed and you don't feel you're deserving and you don't feel that you are lovable. And therefore, you begin to self-sabotage when something good happens in your life. This is why so many people, as they start getting closer to their fitness goals, they go, uh-oh, they start hitting that glass ceiling, that mental glass ceiling. They start upper limiting. They're like, uh-oh, this is not familiar. I don't know if I deserve this level of happiness and success and attention. And they fuck it up by getting injured. They fuck it up by overeating. They fuck it up by getting sick. Something happens because you manifest it because you simply you don't feel like you deserve the outcome that you're headed for.

The same thing applies to business success. The same thing applies to relational success. If you're in a relationship and things are going great and you're like, fuck, man, things are going great in this relationship. This chick loves me and I love her and we're doing great and everything's fine. But subconsciously, you're like, man, I'm not used to a relationship where things are going great, where things are predictable, where I'm loved and I love her and it's safe. I better start fucking it up somehow.

And that is when you start doing stupid shit and you fuck things up. And that is how you end up in a shitty situation of a relationship. Right, guys, quick interruption to the show. Let me tell you all about the Truline Wellness Shot. If you're like me and you care about your health, hydration and building a strong immune system so you can stay active and you can get after it in life, then you want to try the Truline Wellness Shot. I used to take 11 different supplements in the morning. Things like vitamin C, vitamin D, vitamin B12, echinacea, ginger. and a whole bunch more.

Now it's all included in the Trulian Wellness Shot. I want to send you a 30-day supply for 50% off. Just go to trulein.com, use the code word bedros. My name to get 50% off. You'll also get free shipping. You get a 30-day unconditional money-back guarantee. And $1 of every order goes to Shriner's Children's Hospital. And when you use the code word bedros and do the subscribe and save, which is a Trulene Tribe program,

every month you'll get a fresh supply of Truling Wellness shots for an additional 20% off and free shipping and $1 of every monthly order will go to Shriners Children's Hospital. So go to truille.com, use codeword Bedros and take advantage of this amazing offer. Now back to the show. I'm here to tell you that if you have experienced any kind of abuse, physical, mental, sexual, emotional, I do something about it, man. Do something about it. Start the healing process.

One of the greatest things I ever did, in fact, during my healing process was I started doing these six-week challenges, right? You've heard me talk about my first six week challenge. That was the marathon, right? This was 10 years ago. I decided that I'm going to sign up for the San Diego Rock and Roll Marathon and I'm going to hire a running coach. And in six weeks, I'm going to become a marathon runner and then go run that goddamn marathon. Now, make no mistake about it.

My shins hurt. My hips hurt. My traps hurt. My neck hurt. My knees hurt. Everything fucking hurt. Because it's insane to train for six. weeks and then run a marathon. But beyond the pain, there was something great. I had a breakthrough

because I had never run before. I always build myself. And this is what happens, by the way, to people who have dealt with any kind of abuse or trauma. We end up putting ourselves in a box and we go, oh, I'm not good with remembering names. I'm not good at math. I'm not good at business. I'm not good at weightlifting. I'm not good at long distance running. We kind of tell ourselves, I'm not good at and then you fill in the blank and then you put yourself in the box. Well, guess what happens next? You end up literally manifesting what you say you're not good at because the subconscious mind will always find what it's looking for.

And so if you're like, hey, I'm not good at remembering names, then the next time you meet someone and they tell you their name, two minutes later you're going to be like, fuck, I don't remember your name. Can you tell me your name again? That's because the subconscious mind is like, oh, you told me that you don't remember names, so I'm going to make sure you don't remember it. You told me that you are not deserving of success. so I'm going to make sure that you don't achieve success.

You told me that you don't feel comfortable getting fit and athletic and having abs. I'm going to make sure that you sabotage yourself and you fuck it all up, right? And so I'm here to tell you, if you don't do the work that heals you, then you will find yourself constantly sabotaging your relationships, your health and fitness, your business, your source of income, your job, your career. And how long are you going to do that? And then to run away from it by escaping with alcohol, drug, food, video games, sitting on your mama's couch, fucking playing video games and trying to numb yourself

with Cheetos because you're just like, I'm just going to keep eating these fucking Cheetos until my titties get so fucking gelatinous that someone can milk me. Or you could actually start healing. You could actually start doing the self-work. You can read books that are going to help you have an understanding of what people like you and me that have experienced massive trauma, how we can develop a superpower. Because think about the shit that you've been through, man. Once you heal through the shit that you've been through, you become unstoppable.

Someone that has gone through physical, mental, emotional, or sexual abuse and has healed from it, we are some of the most fucking toughest people on the planet because we have gone through shit. We have experienced things that no one should ever have to experience. We have experienced pain and self-loathing. At a very high level, we have experienced self-sabotaging, we have experienced loneliness. We have experienced the idea of checking out, if you know what I mean, the capital S word.

And man, I love you guys too much to see you even think about that word, to think about checking out. Imagine if you were to heal through your traumas, through the abuse that you went through, and then you take this ability that you've developed to survive. You take these fucking survival instincts and you apply it to a fitness program. Shit. Ain't nothing going to stop you after that. You'll be fucking lean, jacked, athletic, a fucking walking anatomical chart. And then you take these same levels of being fucking locked on and overcoming shit and you apply it to business. You think any competition is going to stop you at that point?

You become unfucking stopable, man. No one can stop you. When you have healed through trauma, you've been. become unstoppable. If you have not healed through your trauma, then you become a walking, talking, fucking cautionary tale because you are the type of person that's going to self-sabotage. You are the type of person that's going to be a liability. You're going to go off like a fucking time bomb at someone because you're going to be reactive instead of responsive, right? You will emotionally always react to shit. And soon the reputation that you gain is, this motherfucker always

tends to react to stuff. So let's not hang out with him or her. I don't want you to be that So I'm telling you this right now, man. When I did that six week challenge, my first of many six week challenges that I did, that marathon challenge, it was a fucking game changer for me. Because yeah, I fucking started to do things that I had not believed I can do. I ran a mile. Two days later, I'm running two miles. Three or four days later, I'm jogging, walking, and running five miles.

Before you know it, a week and a half, two weeks in, I'm fucking up to eight miles. And at the four week point, I actually did 16 fucking miles. of running, me six foot, 242 pounds at the time, fucking ran long distance. And then come the marathon. After six weeks, I ran 26.2 miles. And it was an amazing feeling to know that I could set my mind to something and then accomplish it without sabotaging myself because I was already in the process of healing myself.

I felt deserving of that win with the marathon. on. I felt worthy of crossing the finish line. Don't fucking mistaken for a moment that I didn't think of quitting. I absolutely thought about quitting during the six week period. I thought of making excuses, coming up with reasons. God knows I was feeling tight muscles and pain. And I was feeling, you know, I was even hurt shin splints. Like, to me, that's a valid reason to quit.

But I was like, listen, you little bitch, you're not going to quit. You're going to stick to the six week program. You're going to do everything your coach tells you. And then you are going to finish that marathon. Subsequently, I've done dozens of six-week challenges since. I've done an MMA challenge for six weeks, Jiu-Jitsu challenge for six weeks. That was with the Ghee.

Now I do the No-Gee Challenge, which started about six months ago as a six-week challenge, and I'm six-month into a six-week no-geet juitsu challenge. And I love it. Surf Challenge, salsa dancing, piano playing, improv classes. I'm here to tell you that you are, so pliable. And if you start taking on these challenges and you start working with the therapist and you start reading the books and you start journaling and you start healing and you start being

introspective. In other words, checking in with yourself. Why do I feel like emotionally eating? Like, why would I stand there at the fucking kitchen counter 11 years ago and break a fucking bagel in half, dip it into the Philadelphia cream cheese and eat it? I'd eat that whole fucking bagel. Then I'd eat another one and another one. I'd finish like more than half of the fucking tube of bagels. And they weren't like the quality bagels that you would buy at a fucking deli somewhere at a bagel shop. They were like the fucking store bought fucking brands. You know, it was pretty much bread that was circular with fucking raisins in it or onions on it. The point is, I was punishing myself. I was emotionally eating. I was doing the things

that led to sabotaging my own health. So friends, I'm here to tell you, if you are ready to heal, the greatest work you can do is start challenging yourself. do things that are out of your comfort zone. Hell, start with a marathon challenge. Just go to bedroskoolin.com forward slash challenge, and it's absolutely free for you. You can download the entire program. It's the entire coaching program that I had.

It tells you how to run, where to run, what to run, what to run, you know, all the training that you need, all the nutrition that you need, and six weeks of mindset and motivation from me, right? Bedroskoolion.com forward slash challenge. It's absolutely free because I want you to do some kind of a challenge to break out of this fucking cycle of self-sabotaging, to be able to do something different

other than to sit on a couch and play video games or to drink to escape your problems or eat or smoke weed or vape pens or fucking watch TV and all these stupid things that cause you to shield and soothe and to try and escape from the realities that you're facing, which is really you just haven't healed. You haven't healed.

It is okay to be traumatized. it is not okay to continue on to stay hurt. Because if you are hurt and you most likely are, if you've dealt with any kind of abuse, then I want you to understand that hurt people, hurt people. And so if you are hurt, if you've dealt with abuse in life, my friend, you have a duty and an obligation to heal yourself,

not to escape from it, but to heal yourself. Go work with the therapist, start reading the books, start doing the challenges, start getting fit, get on a proper morning routine, start finding a sense of purpose, get around other people, get outside and get some sun, be active, and start journaling, and actually start healing the inner child. Because when you do, guess what happens next? You end up having breakthroughs in your relationship. You end up having breakthroughs in your health and fitness.

You end up having breakthroughs in your business and your money. And all of a sudden, you don't have to rely on these fucking vices that have got you. addicted just so you can try and escape and avoid the pain that you're experiencing because nothing breaks my heart more than when I hear someone say that they have to smoke or drink just to go to sleep at night to deal with the demons inside or when they wake up first thing in the morning they reach for that vape pen or their social media and they start scrolling aimlessly or hitting that vape pen just to get a little bump of nicotine or weed so that they can cope with life. You shouldn't have to cope with life. You should be able to thrive through

life. And let me be a walking talking example of someone who was sexually abused, who was physically abused, who was fucking verbally abused. And I've done the work to heal. And I continue to do the work because I want to show up as a better example for you. I want to show up as a better example for my kids. I want to show up as a better example for the people who work with me here at HQ. So I hope I was able to drive this point home that self-mastery is the greatest work any man could ever do for himself and if you believe that then i hope i will see you at bedros coolian live september 13th and 14th and beautiful scotsdale arizona tickets are selling out quickly and so i want you to register for this two-day event that is game-changing i've got a list of amazing presenters who are going to pour

into you in the areas of money meaning and self-mastery we are going to connect we're going to We're going to break bread. We're going to have a great time and you're going to walk out of there as a higher version of yourself. And that is the goal of Bedros Kulian Live. I hope I see you there. And finally, I want you to remember that average is the enemy. The success is your responsibility and change can take place in an instant if you are willing

to flip the switch. I'll see you next time. What's the difference between me and you? Back when Q was rolling with Lorenzo and a Benzo. I was banging with a gang of instrumental. You know,