Bedros Keuilian Podcast Show - 10 Tips to Build Discipline Into Your Life - 127

Episode Date: December 3, 2019

Bedros and Craig discuss the 10 ways to build discipline into your life.  Being disciplined isn’t about what you do most the time. It’s about what you don’t do. Craig Ballantyne, also known as, the world’s most disciplined man, and Bedros Keuilian talk about what you can do today to bring structure and discipline into your life no matter what stage of life you’re at.    “Destroy discrations and toss temptations.” “Make the path smooth.” “Stop self sabatoge.” - Craig Ballantyne   Here’s what you’ll discover: 04:32 - It’s okay to get your act together early. 06:17 - Have control of your local environment 14:29 - If you make it systematic, it will become automatic 20:05 - What to do if you fall back into procrastination 31:00 - How to avoid self sabatoge   “Discipline is freedom.” “Hitting the snooze button is the kiss of death.”  - Bedros Keuilian   Follow us on Instagram: @bedroskeuilian / @realcraigballantyne   Buy Man Up and get Bedros’s High Performance Leadership Course for FREE: https://manup.com/   Make sure to review us on iTunes: http://bit.ly/theempireshow   Youtube: https://youtu.be/Zz0kPBY0v_s

After watching or listening to this episode, if you're in your 20s and you think that it will right now is the time for you to party and to go nuts and be short-sighted, but you feel this gnawing, this gnawing inside you that says, hey, maybe you ought to be a little more disciplined. You ought to have a little more structure. You ought to do things differently than all your friends. After this episode, you're going to realize it's okay to do that. I think we all know that discipline is important. Discipline is freedom. Discipline gives you opportunities that you otherwise could not have. But most of us don't know. how to have discipline. So today we're going to talk about the 10 ways to build discipline into your life and business with my buddy Craig Valentine. What's up, dude? Ah, my man, I'm going to tell people how I was once a very undisciplined person. You know, drinking, partying all the time, sleeping in, hitting the snooze button, the world's most undisciplined man. That's crazy because I only know you as the world's most disciplined, man. Well, here's the thing is, is it isn't, discipline isn't about what you do, someone that It's very much like in anything in life, it's about what you don't do.

And so I realized as much as I wanted to eat chocolate cake for breakfast, I wanted to be successful in life more. And so I thought, okay, well, how can I make discipline, systematic, automatic, automatic and systematic, where it was easy, where it kept me out of trouble. And I was thinking about this a lot recently because people are always asking, how do I build discipline? How can I be more discipline? I keep, or they bring like all of these things, I'm sure you hear this all the time, oh man, I screwed up again. And, you know, I got drunk or, you know, lots of young men, like, too much porn, all that stuff. And they're like, how can I get disciplined and overcome these bad habits? And we want to download that stuff today because we certainly both were not the most disciplined guys in the world.

But now we have all the structure and systems in place that makes success systematic and automatic. Hey, so to that point, before we start, let me ask you this. Do you think that it's more challenging near impossible for, people in their 20s to be disciplined and structured, or is it just lack of knowledge and information? Like, if you knew what you know now, would you have been more disciplined back then? Yes, because here's the thing, is that when you're that age,

that's the age where you want to impress other people, where you're finding yourself, quote-unquote. So I think that was the reason. Like, I wish, if I could go back in time, I would have lived as my best self back then. I would have made decisions that were not influenced by other people. I would have been more comfortable in my own. own skin. I like that phrase. I once had a personal training client, very successful guy,

and his brother was even more successful. It was like a lawyer down on Canada's version of Wall Street. And he said, yeah, my brother rides his bicycle to work. And this is back in the day like before people riding their bike was cool to work, right? And he's a successful and he's just, he's really comfortable in his own skin. And I think that that's one of my regrets. I think probably a lot of people probably regret. You know, I wish I would have done things my way earlier rather than, you know, whether it's going out and partying when you don't want to, or doing certain things, or maybe you want to be serious, maybe you want to settle down, but all your friends are like, oh, man, you can't get married now or whatever it is.

Just go and live your life that way. And I think that that's why it's difficult for younger people, plus all the social media stuff, you know, if you're going down, you're doing the right things, and all of a sudden you're like, man, but look at all these people on social media doing all this stuff. And, you know, they're traveling around. Maybe I shouldn't get that serious job now. Maybe I should go to Thailand for like six months, but that's not really what you were meant to do. And so I think they're very short-sighted, which is what young people generally are.

You know, it's not like this generation's any worse than any other generation. They're short-sighted and they're going to do things that they'll regret later, even if it's just like, man, I just should have smarten up and been disciplined or you make some really bad mistakes. Right. So for the young people that are listening, and I love it when somebody is dialed in and focused, like a lot of Jason and capitals, students, you know, email me and DM me all the time, and I love the influence he's having on those guys because they're getting their act together a little bit earlier. And so if you want to get it together, get it together and live without apology and without regrets and live your best life.

That's a really good way to put it. And the reason I ask you that is because after watching or listening to this episode, if you're in your 20s and you think that right now is the time for you to party and to go nuts and be short-sighted, but you feel this gnawing. this gnawing inside you that says, hey, maybe you ought to be a little more disciplined. You ought to have a little more structure. You ought to do things differently than all your friends. After this episode, you're going to realize it's okay to do that.

So let's dive into it. What's number one? All right. So the first thing that every single person doesn't matter if you're in your teens, 20s, 60s, 70s, if you want to improve discipline, if you want to stop making mistakes, it's destroyed distractions and toss the temptations. And this goes for everything from the smallest thing. like I eat too many potato chips at night.

Great. What's the simplest thing? What is the obvious answer to not eating potato chips? Don't have them in the house. So if you drink too much, like, I had this friend Eric, he was like, he battled alcohol all the time.

He's like, fine. I'm sick of this. He poured every single bottle of alcohol down the drain. I mean, he could have done other stuff with it, but he, you know, put it down the drain, got it all out of the house. And now you can't make the frickin' mistakes. And this comes from, there's a lot of actually diet research by this guy

up in New York State, this guy, Brian Wonson, he's done all these studies. And he has his obvious conclusions. If you have a bowl of M&Ms on the table, you have a really great chance you're going to eat a whole bunch of them. All right? If they're across the room, you're going to eat less. If they're in a jar, in the cupboard, you're going to eat less. If they're not in the house, you're not going to eat any. So we can apply that to every single thing in our lives. And actually, I tell people, like, listen, if you are not getting... focused in your work, if you're checking your phone, you're checking your email and all this stuff. Do this little test.

Take your arms out to your side, rotate around, and I call that your local environment. You've got to have great control over your local environment. So every single thing within arm's length is a distraction when you're like, man, I got to write this sales letter, I got to write this email, I got to write this book chapter. There's that book I wanted to read for so long. Let me just read five pages of it. Let me just check my phone one more time. Let me just do all this stuff if you destroy those things.

If you destroy everything around you and you build a fence around yourself, then it's automatic and systematic you will get those things done. If I put you in a room with absolutely nothing but the one thing you had to do, and I came back eight hours later, it's going to be done. Yeah, you would have probably found a way to somehow procrastinate a little bit, but eventually you would have gotten that thing done. And so there's a great Bruce Lee quote. It says it's not about the day.

increase, it's about the daily decrease, hack away at the unessential, which means get rid of the stuff that you don't need in your local environment, in your habits, so that you then become that person who can't fail. You can't fail because you got nothing else to do but succeed. That's the first thing. What a brilliant way to look at it. Yeah, and so that was me, right? That was me. Like back in the day, you know, I used to wake up and play video games. Like back in teenage years and, you know, drink and party and all this stuff. I'm like, I just got to the point where I was sick of it. I remember I played video games. This is like way back. when I was 13 or 14.

I played video games for an entire Sunday afternoon. And the way that I felt after, I can't believe I wasted this Sunday afternoon. And I really decided, like, at that age, I'm not going to be that person who plays video games. I just hate it. So it got rid of the video games. And now you can't get sucked back into playing the video games.

And a lot of people, you know, when you talk about the people in their 20s, I don't think anybody's going to, you know, when they're 80 years old or when they're 180 years old, thanks to medical stuff, you know, they're sitting there and they're looking back in their life, go, I wish I played more video games. You know, like everybody says, No one ever says, I wish I spent more time in the office, which is not true.

But no one's going to sit there and say, I wish I played more video games. I wish I watched more NFL football. Like, you're not going to say that. You're going to say you wish you had done so many more things, whether it was in your 20s or your 40s. And so you've got to destroy the distractions and toss the temptations and make the success systematic automatic. Sassy, to that point, the biggest distractions and temptations that I find that people are experiencing now is this, the iPhone. for sure iPhone, their phone. I mean, this keeps you so connected to Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, and all the different platforms.

But everything is on there. What is not on there? That's the problem, and that's also the solution, right? Because you can also go turn off those notifications. I can't believe when somebody shows me their phone and there's a red, like, are you an idiot? Why is any notification on here? There should be zero notifications on your phone. You can turn them all off.

And in fact, while I'm a big fan of so many of the big thought leaders out there, the thing I can't stand, is when you see a post from them where they're pointing over their shoulder and they say, hey, turn on your notifications. Right. You know, look, at the end of the day, they're telling you that turn the notifications on so that you can hear from me. My message is more important than your path of dominating life. And that's not true. The number one notification you need to turn on is a notification to your life, like to your destiny. And you've got to turn off all the other distractions. And you could do that with the off button on your iPhone, man. That's beautiful. Ruthless. And here's the thing about the phones is the way that I like to describe it is, it is, this is a cheesy phrase, or classic phrase, it's not your fault. It truly isn't your fault. So every single day in Silicon Valley, 10,000, 100,000 engineers go to work, some of the smartest minds, not only in America, but in the world, go to work very much like the Dorito scientists,

whose entire job is to make you addicted to Doritos. America's smartest food scientists making you addicted to junk. the smartest PhDs from MIT are going to Instagram to Facebook to make you addicted to your phone, which is a sad shame. But if you think that you're going to wake up and you're going to go, me against 10,000 PhDs from MIT, I'm going to win that battle. You're going to lose that battle every single day. So they're going to get you to download another app.

They're going to get you to have the notifications on. They're going to get you do this, that, or the other thing. You're never going to win that battle if you play by their rules. So that's why you've got to change the game. You change the game by turning off the notifications, first of all. Then what I do, I have four levels that I protect myself. So airplane mode, then turn the phone off, literally off, then put it in another room and put it in a desk drawer. And there'll be days where that call of that phone gets me all the way to almost taking out of airplane mode before I hit my hand, put it back in there and get back to work.

But you've got to play by different rules. And this doesn't just go for your phone. It goes for every single thing. in life. If you get the world to play by your rules, that's when you can build an empire. That's true. Number two, public accountability. Yeah, so public accountability is such a game changer because, you know, most people are too afraid to admit that they have a big goal or they want to make a change. But what I found back in the weight loss world, and you see this all the time too as CEO, one of the biggest, you know, transformation companies in the world,

is that when people were coming into my turbulent training transformations back in the day, when they said, when they put their before photo up, so I had a 12-week contest, and and I said, hey, you know, post your before photos and tell us what you want to achieve. The people that did that were the ones that finished. You know, they might have had everything going against. It might have been a single mom who worked two jobs. And then she did that. And then the person who had all the time in the world and had a personal trainer but didn't do that, they quit.

But the other person had public accountability, even to total strangers. And so back in 2011, I used this to quit swearing. So I said to my entire email list, 151,000 people, In 2011, after I was running intervals one day, I said, you know what, I tell people what to do all day. Maybe I should stop swearing or something. I just thought, fuck. So you really start saying.

Right, yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah. Don't worry, you swear enough for three of us. So I thought, well, listen, I tell people what to do all day, how to change your lives and live better. And here I am. I'm always cursing and swearing it. But I don't curse around my mom, and I never curse on stage.

So if I can control my mouth, then I'm going to do that. I'm going to say, I'm not going to curse anymore. So I said that, and within four days, I stopped swearing because I had public accountability. Now, I will once in a while slack, especially when we're driving in your truck. But one day, we were with Joel, Marion, and I swore because it was like, I'm just with Joel and Bedros. And he called me out on him. I'm like, damn, I got to get back on track, man. Back on track. So that accountability is key because accountability is so important in every area of life. because if you say something in public and then you act a different way behind the scenes,

man, you feel like a hypocrite and like hypocrite is here and like person who stole old lady's purse is here and hypocrite is underneath it in so many people's eyes. I'll tell you why that's so powerful too is so I just got done doing one of my most recent six-week challenges where I hired a black belt jiu-jitsu coach instructor. And BJJ? Yeah, BJJ. B-J. Not to be confused with BJ.

BJJ, that 1J makes a big difference. And, dude, I not only paid him for all six weeks up front, but I told everybody here at the HQ that, hey, guys, I'm going to start doing a six-week challenge with Coach Pete at BK Strength. And the reason I told him that was not because I was excited about it, but because I was afraid of doing it. These six-week challenges that I take on are things that kind of put me out of my comfort zone that make me, they're a little scary, like the six weeks and the random

marathon six weeks rock climbing right and so I knew that if I told my co-workers here and I paid in full for all six weeks that I couldn't negotiate my way out of it because at some point my co-workers are going to be asking like well so you're four weeks in how is it and I'm going to have to either lie to them or tell them the truth and so that public accountability is massive man there's so much science behind it what's number three all right so the next one is going to be the systematic and automatic right decisions, which is kind of like a combination of the first two things. Okay, so listen, you got public accountability and you've removed all the temptations. Now you wake up and it's like, oh, well, this is all I can do.

This is all I can do here. And it's also that planning and preparation the night before so that you wake up and you're already going on the thing. So just make the path super smooth. We've all probably heard the story like, hey, listen, if you want to exercise in the morning, make sure that you put your workout clothes beside the bed. And then as Mary Poppin says, you half begun, is half done, and away you go. It's just systematic and automatic.

So look at your life. Where are you struggling? Where are you stuck and struggling on improving something? And then how can you make that so much easier? Well, you know, I'm really not doing well with my diet. Okay, great. Let's go to your house. Let's toss all the junk.

Let's put good food in. Going back to that Brian Wancink guy, He found that if you put fruits and vegetables at eye level in your fridge, you're more likely to eat them than if they're hidden down. Okay. Also, if you put fruits and vegetables on your kitchen counter, you're more likely to eat them. Whatever is available you're going to go to. We're like animals. Whatever is in front of us is what we're going to go for.

Exactly. So make the path to success smoother no matter what it is that you're trying to improve. I love that. And talk about going systematic and automatic. If you can make it a priority because you always find time for things. a priority for you. Well, you make time. I like to say, because it's very important.

Like words are important. You make time for what matters and you try and find time and you never are able to find time because it's not like it's under the bed with your abrocker. You can't find time. You can only make time for what matters. Well said. So if you plan the night before, this is what time I'm going to work out and it's added to your calendar, you're not going to miss it.

But if you say today sometime I'm going to work out, well, I could keep pushing that along until it's 10 p.m. and I go, well, I've lost the day. I'll start working out. Right. If it's on the calendar and you've told somebody or you have a workout partner waiting for you, you're not going to disappoint them. That's why the boot camps, the fit body boot camps are so powerful because, you know, Mrs. Jones doesn't want to disappoint all those other ladies who she said, I'm going to lose 10 pounds, I'm going to be here to support you, and I'm not, and then you don't show up on Wednesday morning, you know, Mrs. Smith is going to be a little bit cranky. That's true. Yeah, that's game changer.

Number four, no more waiting, hesitating, or procrastinating, success, love speed, and delays kill dreams. Yeah, yeah, you got to get the momentum and motivation. So you need to get quick victories. If you get quick victories in a change, like, okay, listen, I'm going to say I'm going to go and do this. Well, go and do something right away. All right, listen, I want to, you know, join that, I want to lose 20 pounds in 12 weeks. Great. What's the first thing you can do right now? Okay, and sign up at Fit Body Boot Camp. I can buy the clothes. I can go for a walk right now, even though I don't start my workout until tomorrow. I can hire that trainer. I can do something right now. Because if you go, you know what, I'll start tomorrow, then that thing happens where you wake up and the next thing you know it's 10 o'clock at night, oh, I didn't do that. So I'll start tomorrow. Oh, it's 10 o'clock, I'll start tomorrow. And you just can't do that. You absolutely positively have to get those quick victories. And that's the power of having great morning routine. You figure out what's the most important thing that you want to achieve in your life and you make that the thing you attack first thing in the morning. Because there's an old Mark Twain quote and it says, if you have to eat a frog, the best thing,

to do is eat it first thing in the morning. And if you have to eat two frogs, the best thing to do is eat the biggest frog first. Which means, listen, there's always going to be something in our lives we don't want to avoid. Maybe it's, you know, preparing the speech or maybe it's writing the book. Oh, man, that's going to be so hard. Just check my email. No, listen, you write the book chapter. You do the workout.

Whatever it is that you want to avoid, you've got to lean into it. And that's how you're going to get better every day. You know, it's funny. You know, it's funny. do it about this is about a month ago I started no two months ago now I started doing these morning hikes at 5 a.m. Oh yeah you told me about that yeah every other morning there's this place called eucalyptus loop it's three very big hills and when you finish it it's like a four mile hike and I'm trying to you know

constantly chip away at my time now I'm under under under doing it and under an hour and the first couple times I did it you know just regular tennis shoes whatever and so I said all right now I'm gonna make this routine it's not gonna be in the afternoon anymore I was just doing it on a weekends in the afternoon. So I'm going to do it as part of my morning routine at 5 a.m. before it really heats up in Chino Hills. And so instantly my brain went into procrastination mode because as humans, that's what we do. No matter how disciplined you are in life, you still go towards procrastination first because I think it's

self-preservation or something. And so I go, all right, but I can't start tomorrow because I really don't have hiking shoes. So I've been hiking this thing on weekends for like several months in tennis shoes and it's fine. But now that I want to do it during the weekdays at 5 a.m., I've got to get the proper hiking shoes. So I started going to Amazon.com. And you bought a pair of chucks? Interestingly, I bought another pair of chucks, leather uppers this time. No, that's because for people who don't know, that's what he started, when he started training for the marathon, he started training in chucks.

Yeah, I didn't know any better. I didn't realize there was actual running shoes. Right. Here we go. Boy, where my knees and ankles. Silly foreigner. So that said, I realized very quickly, dude, you don't have to wait for hiking boots to show up for you to do a 5 a.m. hike. I just set out my shorts and my t-shirt there.

there. I have my phone set for 4.15 in the morning, so that by 5 a.m. I'm on that trail hiking. And I did it. The shoe showed up three days later, and they made the morning hikes a little better, but I instantly went to procrastination first. So just know that no matter how disciplined you are, you're still going to fall towards a trap of procrastination, wake yourself up and go back to, no, I've got to stay disciplined and do this thing first, because when you do it first, it stacks on top of each other. These little winds stack on top of each other. Because if had I not done it that next morning,

I probably would have put it off until the following week. Well, now the shoes came, now let me break them in. Right? And then, for you know, it's been two weeks before I started the noon in the morning hikes. Yeah, and that leads perfectly into number five, which is anchor routines. So an anchor routine is the thing that can kickstart you off. Like, okay, you get up at 4.15 a.m., maybe it's like, okay,

I make the coffee, and as soon as I make the coffee, that puts me in hiking mode, perfect. Or, you know, I always tell this famous story about John Carlton, who talks about what he does is he walks around his desk three times and he's wearing like a certain sweatshirt and that signals his brain, okay, now it's time for me to write copy and I'm going to sit here for three hours or whatever it is. Stephen King sits in the same old attic office, like this tiny little office in his attic of his house where he's written all his books and he still sits there in this old computer and he goes in at 9 o'clock and he doesn't look. leave till he's written 2,000 words. I mean, this is just a guy, he's consistent, over and over and over again. So you might have an anchor routine where you listen to a song,

or you do some breathing or something that, or the plunge pool like Tony Robbins does. But just get an anchor, and as soon as that anchor happens, it means, boom, all right, go time, baby. The thing starts, yeah. Yeah, routines and rituals, man, are so powerful for the human who wants to launch into something. You look at every pro athlete, they have a pregame routine

and ritual they go through. through over and over again that's going to increase their odds of winning. Yep, 100%. All right, number six is visualization. So planting good things in your head. I actually just read this crazy story about there's this 19-year-old girl from Canada who just won the US Open in tennis. And when she was 15 years old, she started writing herself a check for whatever the US Open prize

money. So the first time she wrote it was $3.5 million. And every year, she would rewrite the check based on what the prize. money was for that year. And then this year she won. And I get like she's 19 years old. So just kind of like, you know, obviously not super mature in like her interviews and stuff. And she goes, I guess this visualization stuff really works. It's like so amazing, right? And, and most people probably heard this story about how Jim Carrey wrote himself the million dollar check and all that sort of stuff. And so visualization. If you visualize yourself as that discipline or you create that identity,

I am a disciplined person. I am the type of person. I am the type of person. who says what they're, does what they say they're going to do. I'm not a hypocrite. I'm the type of person who follows through. I'm a leader. I show up on time. I do all this stuff. Great.

Great. Now you got that in your mind. If you do that every single day, you're planting good things in your mind. Plant good things in your mind. And you will be able to improve in so many ways. You know, I once heard someone really smart to say, visualization alters your belief systems. And your belief systems ultimately engage your actions.

Right? And so if you can just visualize clearly what you want over and over again, like this young lady writing a check for herself, obviously a check that she couldn't cash. But when you write the check, you begin to believe that you one day will get that check. Yeah, man. And that belief system leads to taking the actions that are required for you to win that $3.5 million. And she did at 19. Good for her. Number seven, proper goal setting.

Yeah. So people often say, you know, how often or how long will it take for me to become disciplined? And as I go back to that story about how I quit swearing in four days. And what I did was I punish myself every time I swore. And there was some self-awareness. We're going to talk about that in a second. I was like, okay, well, if this happens, then I'm greater risk of that of doing the bad thing. So I'm going to make that contact and connection there.

And then every time I do something bad, then there's going to be a punishment that's significant. The consequence has to be significant. That will stop me from doing it. And it's like, you know, this can really change, really, really, really. quickly. So if you're hitting the snooze button, okay, great. I'm going to tell my friends that if I hit the snooze button, or if you sleep with somebody, like, hey, listen, I'm not going to hit the snooze button. If I hit the snooze button, then that's 20 bucks that I'm going to give you and you go buy shoes or, you know, I'm going to donate it to something else. Great. Now there's consequences

and now we are moving ahead. So you just put in place some goal setting for it. So my goal is to stop hitting the snooze button in seven days. And then, boom, away you go off to the races. You get that accountability. You plan that in. You plan it. So it's systematic, automatic. You move the alarm to the opposite side of the room. You think about all the ways you can do it to make it easier to achieve your goal. And if you think about things, man, planning's going to be simple. You know what's funny is like that's, I get that. Everybody gets that. Proper goal setting. And if you make the thing that you don't want to do harder, well, you're more likely to not do it, right? Ironically, it seems like everybody seems to want to stack the odds against

themselves. They make it easier. They make it easier. Like, your iPhone has a feature where you can turn off the snooze button feature. Oh. The iPhone has a feature where you can turn off the snooze. That way, the snooze feature doesn't even come up. When your alarm goes off, there's only off you can hit. Right. There is no snooze button. Yet everyone seems to leave that on, even after reading my book where I talk about hitting the snooze button is the curse of death. Turn that feature off. Go on further and then put the phone far enough away where you have to physically get up to reach it instead of putting it right on your nightstand so that you won't just change the time. Those little things are the proper goal setting things because it's so easy to hit the snooze button, go back to sleep

and before you know it, you've had a shitty day. Hey, let me, before we go on, you said the snooze button is the kiss of death. So I'm reading a book called Why We Sleep. And in that book, like hitting the snooze button, he actually warns it could kill you because. Because think about this. So when the alarm goes off, like, oh, my God, everybody's jolt out of bed, your adrenaline goes up. Okay, now you hit the snooze button and you set yourself up for another alarm that's going to jolt your adrenaline up. And so, like, Monday morning heart attacks, like, there's a reason why you get them is because you slept poorly on the weekend and you need that alarm more than anything on Monday. And then you hit the snooze button and it hits you and get the alarm again and it's allowed and annoying and all that stuff and you're angry at it.

Stress. It's like a double triple. more times you hit it, you're doubling, tripling, quadrupling, your odds of a heart attack or anxiety attacks. Good Lord. Yeah, so it really truly is a kiss of death. All right. So, number eight, boom, ruthless self-reflection and course correction. So what we have here is we need to be able to look back and say, all right, I'm going to watch the movie of my week as I describe it. So I'm going to look back and see what did what did I do this week? What did I say I wanted to do? What did I actually do and where were the discrepancies between the two? And how can I fix those? You're making

cause and effect. So it's like, man, you know, Tuesday night, I watched the last episode of Game of Thrones. It kept me up till midnight. I wanted to get up at six. I hit this news button, didn't get up till seven. Now it was late. Had to work late, had to skip date. It's this cascade, this domino effect. And so you need to look back and say, all right, listen, if I'm truly committed to all of these things that I say I'm going to do, then I'm going to have to remove the distractions and the temptations. This is where you identify the things that throw you off track. And I've always used this. Like here's an extreme example. You take somebody who's a recovering alcoholic who doesn't want to drink anymore and six and a half days a week, they can be good.

You know, say the serenity prayer and drink water and go to the meetings, but then you put them in a pub on a Friday night, everything goes out the window. Now, of course, they're not going to look back and be able to identify that, but anybody can look back and identify that. So it's the same with their own lives. Look back. Where'd you get off track? All right, man, I just can't watch Netflix on, you know, school nights, quote, unquote, because I say there's going to be one episode, and the next thing you know, it's four episodes. Or I can't drink on school nights. I say it's going to be one glass of wine. The next thing, you know, it's four glasses of wine. If these are the things that are totally destroying your life, you've got to go to the extremes and get rid of

them so that you can only do the right thing. So that ruthless self-reflection and course correction is really important. But don't be too hard on yourself. You know what's funny. It's talking about that. Earlier you talked about how like there's tens of thousands of people in Silicon Valley who are some of the world's most smartest coders, programmers, PhDs, who spent their waking hours trying to figure out how we can get more engaged with our phones. How can I get you hooked on my app? Yeah. Great. Well, as it turns out, I don't know if you have how much time you spend watching Netflix, Hulu, or Amazon shows, but we watch Survivor at home. Oh, okay.

Andrew and Chloe are just enamored by Survivor. They love Jeff Probst, the host. We've watched every season, and we're going on our second turn through every season now. The way Amazon and Netflix have set it up now, when a show is ending, as it's coming to its ending, a little box will pop up and say the next episode starts in three, two, one. So normally it used to be that it would end, the credits would run, and then there'd be commercials, right? Like when we were growing up, now it's set up where, oh, well, the next episode's starting, and all of a sudden, Chloe and Andrew on a school night, mom, dad, can we watch another episode? How about just 10 minutes of it?

How about 20 minutes of it? And I realized very quickly, these fucking things are set up. Whether it's an app or Netflix, they're set up to suck you in and eat away your time. In this case, time away from my kid's sleep, which is then going to affect their school and their attitude, et cetera. So then we have to like crack the whip and be like, no, motherfuckers, go to sleep. right but it's nuts that if you don't allow yourself to turn that thing off in three two one the next episode's about to start and then there's another one after that and before you know it's like four in the morning I just binge watched a

whole season you're trying to figure out what the fuck just happened yeah especially when you got 20 years of survivor yeah yeah actually now here's a 39 well there's 39 episodes 39 seasons there's the 39 seasons not 39 years okay and it's the same thing with the food you know so when we were kids, there was one size of everything. Yeah. Now, and my friend, this guy who was at the Empire Summit, Frank, Frank, Big Frank.

Yeah, Big Frank Dan Blanken from the Netherlands. He always sends me pictures of like the biggest bag of M&Ms you can find, like a five kilo bag of M&M is like, okay, that's engineered. So you stick your hand in there and you're, you know, 5,000 calories later compared to what we had back in the day, man. It's just, it's crazy. So you have to build the fence around. to yourself, keep those things out of your life. That really leads us into number nine,

which is stop self-sabotage. Now, there's a bunch of ways you can self-sabotage. There's the physical way, which is crowding your local environment with junk and crowding your global environment with toxic people and toxic environments. But then there's also your mental environment, which you can really screw up by saying, oh, I can't do this, or I can never be late, or I can never be on time, I'm always late, I can never lose weight, I can never do this. I'm an introvert. I have anxiety. I can't speak in public. I can't do this. I'm not a like, if you say it, you will become it. Can I share a little story to that point? Indeed. And this is going to highlight this so well, this stopping self-sabotage. You want to become disciplined.

Stop saying you can't do something. So on October 14th, so here we are, we're filming this. Today is what, September 23rd, 2019. On October 14th, Raycare, our Navy SEAL friend is going to be running this team training thing at my house. Oh, cool. Or basically he runs people through all types of workouts that they do in the Navy SEAL program while teaching leadership, problem solving, communication, and teamwork. Those four things. And so I've got a bunch of Fit Body Boot Camp owners who are going to be in town for the Fit Body

Boot Camp Mastermind, so I invited them to my house to do that. There's also a local husband and wife out here in Chino Hills who own a small business. I've become friends with them, and I figured, you know what, they could use some of this teamwork and leadership skills and problem solving etc. I said hey guys why don't you come to my house on the 14th and learn this stuff right now the wife the other day she texts me a week ago she texts me she goes hey my husband and I are in Northern California and we're visiting a friend and we're getting a rental car and the rental car company was out of the mid-level cars that they wanted to rent us that we wanted so

So they upgraded us to a Tesla and I'm sad. This is a text I'm getting. They upgraded us to a Tesla and I'm sad. Well, that was a perfect hook. So I responded with, wait, they upgraded you to a Tesla and you're sad? Can you explain why? She goes, yeah, I realized that we'll never be able to afford this car. Like we'd never be able to afford to buy this kind of car.

And then she goes, but I hope that that Navy seal in the training that we do there can help me, can help me out, can help me overcome. that and I just called her and I just let her have it and I let her have it with love and I was like listen there is no one thing there's no one Navy seal there is no one training there is no one night on a on a white horse that's gonna gallop in to save the day like you're you're going into this negative self-talk of literally they're gifted they're upgraded for free no additional charge a Tesla instead of saying bam this is the universe telling me that I belong in a car like this

and that I can have a car like this. She went to the negative self-talk, to the sabotage talk of, I'll never be able to afford a car like this. And I hope that this outside thing that's going to happen, this training with the seal, can help me get there. It's the training of the mind that's going to help her get there. So I just let her have it and said, look, there is no one outside element that's going to be more powerful

than the inside self-talk that you have. And she's like, holy fuck, I get it. I go, it's not Navy SEAL, it's not God, it's not Jesus. There is no one thing that's going to be able to be able to come down unless it's one call from Badros Kulian. Right? Yeah. Yeah. So I'm hoping that landed on ears that actually paid attention, but man, self-sabotage, that negative self-talk. Something good happens to you. Don't go, I could never do this. Like, if you go visit someone's house and it's a mansion, look at it as this is a sign from above that I belong in a mansion, not, man,

thank God they invited me because I'd never sitting inside of a mansion. You know, it's funny, I'm just going a little side thing here is that I recently was telling all my clients, if you want to understand how to sell higher ticket stuff, and you have to go and experience seven-figure lifestyle stuff. So, you know, one person who was at the Empire Summit, they read that, right, that weekend, and they were like, okay, great, we were going to rent a car and drive up, you know, the PCH to somewhere.

We actually went and rented a Tesla. So it's the totally opposite mindset. They were like, oh, well, we should go and do this, because if we can experience this and we get used to it, We understand what it's like to experience great things. First of all, it'll help us get used to it. But second of all, it'll also help us understand, oh, this is what somebody who's affluent expects in an arrangement.

And so we have to up our game and our selling and our marketing, our delivery, so that we know what it's like. Like, if you're trying to run a hotel to affluent people and you've never stayed at a Ritz Carlton, there were four seasons, you're never going to succeed. You've got to go and have those seven-figure experiences. whether it's going to a restaurant or whether it's buying a really great thing or something like yesterday I bought a new iPad like I don't even know how to I don't even know how to use an iPad

Did you ever have an iPad ever I had one a long long time ago and I was like I was like ah you know the 12.9 I don't know why we need a screen this big and you know the 11 looks fine and I'm gonna regret it if I don't buy the 12.9 so you know I bought it and I don't know when if I'll ever learn how to use it but I bought one because I just wanted to go through that experience, go into the Apple store, see how they were running all this stuff, and it was worthwhile. So anyways, last thing there, change your identity.

Like I used to be a cheap guy. Now I'm not the cheap guy anymore. I'm not going to be the cheap guy. And it's the same, like, I've got a whole little phrase here, no more snoozing, scrolling, porn pot, drinking doping, cursing, cheating, et cetera. Never let those floodgates open. Never let those into your life.

And the other thing is if something goes off. and you do lose your discipline. We all are going to lose our discipline. You know, you need chocolate cake for breakfast one day. Just relax. Don't hit the panic button. You need to have something that you put in your Instagram the other day, which is bounce back ability.

Bounce back ability. Just bounce back. Just bounce back. Just bounce back, baby. Yeah, sassy, you know, bounce back ability. And so that's anti-fragile. Be anti-fragile. So when you get stressed, you know, when stress is applied to things,

a lot of things break, but something, become stronger under stress, like your bones. So you need to be like your bones become anti-fragile, so you don't break down. If you do screw up, if you get drunk, you say, man, I'm never going to get drunk again, and you get drunk. Okay, you know what?

Every single minute you move to becoming sober again. And then from there, you figure out, okay, what got me drunk? You know, self-reflection, course correction. What got me drunk? Well, is these people that I was spending my time with influence me. It's still my decision. I'm to blame, but I need to do. to spend time with these people in non-drinking environments. You don't have to cut people out

unless they're really, really negative, but just change the environment, change the situation, and through that self-reflection, you get better at everything. You become that disciplined machine, and the next thing you know, people are going to go on, wow, how do you do it? And so really, to sum up here, you're the average of the five people you spend the most time with, and if you spend time with people that are really disciplined, really successful, it's going to be systematic, automatic that you're going to be disciplined to. You're the product of your environment. If you spend time in bad places, doing bad things, you create bad habits. I guess what's going to happen to you. And you're the product of your self-talk and your self-belief. So that's why you need to make those changes.

And anybody can do it. Anybody can do it. And really, that's why you need to be at the perfect life retreat. Yes. And the perfect life retreat happens in San Diego on November. Eighth and ninth. Eighth and ninth. So Baderos is going to be speaking. Jason Capital. Again, A young guy, very self-disciplined, amazing guy, amazing product of our environments. He spent a lot of time with us when he's growing up and seeing what it's like to be a high-performing entrepreneur. We're going to have Sharon Stravza, very, very disciplined entrepreneur, you know, the king of the real estate world, king of scale, as you called him. King of scale. And then we have this woman, Carrie Schull, who is a real estate agent in Washington, D.C., has a team of 80 agents and is also a mom of very important.

very, a couple of young kids, she's going to show how she does it all through her self-discipline. So yes, perfect life retreat.com. We'll see you down in San Diego. It's not going to take much self-discipline to get you there, right? That's it. All right, guys and gals, if you like this episode, we want you to give it a five-star review, leave a comment. And, of course, take a screenshot and share it on your Instagram profile, whether it's in your stories

or the main timeline. We would greatly appreciate it. We'll see you later.