Bedros Keuilian Podcast Show - 103. THESE are the 3 biggest destroyers of men…

Episode Date: September 17, 2024

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And we have to become vigilant. We have to become militant and getting rid of the vices that are slowing our progress, our growth and impacting humans. Welcome to the Bedroskulean show. Back when Q was rolling with Lorenzo and a Benzo, I was banging with a gang of instrumental.

These are the three biggest destroyers of men. Guys, welcome to the Bedroskulian show. I'm Bedroskulian, and today I've got a great episode teed up for you, and it is the three biggest destroyers of men. Now, if you're watching this on YouTube, please do me a favor and subscribe since 74% of you watching my show on YouTube are not subscribed. It would mean a lot to me and it cost you nothing and it would help the algorithm to reach more people and level them up if you would subscribe, like, and comment. So without further ado, let's get started.

Now, I, I ran into a dude recently when I was speaking in Las Vegas and he pulled me aside after, you know, the meet and greet and stuff. like, hey, man, my life is a mess and I don't know what to do. And I've made a string of bad decisions and some bad things have also happened to me. And like basically it was just this really sad story. And my heart felt for him, right? I really felt for him. And I know right now times are tough, man. The economy has gotten crazy. Inflation, interest rates, like cost of everything is through the roof. And there's a whole bunch of uncertainty in the world. So it's not lost on me that we're living in some pretty crazy times. And, you know, people will react to those crazy times in crazy ways. And so long and short of it, he's like, look, man, I don't feel I have ambition.

I don't feel I have purpose. I don't feel I have direction. And that's why I came to this event, because I knew you were speaking at it. And I was hoping to get some stuff. And I did. But really, my big issues are the things that I'm going to list right here. Because this is no joke, probably the 20th time in the last 60 days that I've heard these three things or a variety of these three things or even one of these three things I'm going to share with you. And listen, before I kick it off, here's what I know about every single one of you. As humans, we, unlike an animal, we have ambition, right? An animal simply wants to survive for the day.

They want their food. They want their water. They want a place to sleep. and hopefully they don't get sick, they don't get attacked by another animal, and they could live out their years. They are not really ambitious in terms of having purpose. An animal is not driven to influence and impact the world. An animal does not have this desire to be loved and respected. An animal does not have ambitions to make the world better, right? You and I, as humans do. And us men, especially, for us to have a sense of purpose is massively important.

You know the story, at least if you've been watching or listening to the BK show, you know the story of my dog Cookie. But those of you that are brand new to the podcast and to the show, it's worth me telling the story again. You know, my dog Cookie, she's going on nine years old now. She was six months when we rescued her from a family in Northern California who didn't want her. And they didn't want her because they didn't realize. and when she was a puppy that she was going to end up being a big monstrous dog. Because Cookie is part German Shepherd, part Mastiff.

And when you're part German Shepherd part Mastiff, you end up being a big girl, right? Like if I were going to be a dog, I would definitely be a German Shepherd Mastiff. I think Cookie is sometimes I think she's my spirit animal because she is a lover. She is big. She is thick. She is strong. But she is a lover. But if you cross her, she will tear you away.

up. And so as Cookie got bigger, the family was like, hey, we don't want her. And a friend of a friend got my attention was like, hey, aren't you all looking for a dog? Here's a dog for you guys. Right. So anyway, went and picked Cookie up and drove back home from San Francisco all the way to Southern California. And in that time, we bonded with her. And it was my son and I that went and picked her up. And, you know, when we got home, Cookie is just a very strong dog. Even at six months she already weighed 70 pounds and she was just dragging everybody around by the leash and up until then we never had a big dog in my family so it was one of these things where we didn't know exactly how to deal with a big dog and so it made sense to me that we get a dog trainer to come out and help us

teach cookie some manners and teach us how to handle a big dog how to keep her in line and what exactly do we need to do with her so this amazing woman came out and she worked with Cookie for like three weeks, man. She was great. And she not only helped Cookie, but she helped us understand how to communicate with Cookie and the commands to give her and how to be consistent with those commands and how to set the expectations with Cookie. Like, it was awesome, man.

Like within three weeks, she was a new dog. And that's stuck since. And Cookie was just, is now well-behaved, beautiful, beautiful dog. And the thing with Cookie is, though, because she's a German Shepherd, this dog trainer pulled me aside she goes hey look just so you know german shepherds especially they need to have a sense of purpose without your dog having a sense of purpose she will start getting anxious and depressed and she will start getting distracted and getting sad and if she gets that way she's going to start digging holes in your beautiful backyard and i was like well why would she do that because while in the absence of your dog having a sense of

purpose, she'll give herself a sense of purpose by digging holes in your backyard because she's depressed. And so the best way you can give her a sense of purpose is to every morning, you know, you get out there and you kick the ball in your backyard, you know, 10, 12 times, and then she fetches the ball back. And then you've got two beautiful young kids that she starts shepherding them and keeping them safe. And she keeps her property safe. And if Cookie feels like her job is to keep these kids and this property safe and every morning that this guy is going to play catch with her, then she has a sense of purpose and she won't get depressed and anxious. It was in that moment that I realized we, as men especially, have a lot of similarities to a dog.

Because if we don't have a sense of purpose, we begin to dig holes in our life. And those holes show up as a lot of vices, right? Could be addictions, could be alcohol, could be weed, could be pornography, could be social media, could be binge eating, could be video games and vaping. It shows up in a million ways. But here's what I also know about you, just like I know this about Cookie, that she's a beautiful, majestic dog.

She has every potential to be a protector. She has every potential to shepherd my kids. She has every potential to have purpose. But unless she actually does those things, she will suffer and be depressed and end up just aimlessly digging holes in my backyard. You and I are no different. My brother, I want you to understand that

unless you are actively chasing your purpose in life, unless you are actually working on becoming the 2.0 version of yourself, the healed version, the compassionate version, the version that is emotionally disciplined and mentally tough and has become anti-fragile, the version that has forgiven others that have crossed them, right? I'm not saying forget, but I am saying forgive. The version that has done the work necessary to overcome,

the trauma, and I've talked about it before. God knows I've gone through all types of trauma. Look, as a little boy in Armenia before we ever escaped the Soviet Union and came to the United States, as a little boy in Armenia between the ages of four and six, I was molested over and over and over again by two older boys. You can imagine the scars that left on me. You can imagine how I felt unlovable. I felt like I was just a piece of trash. I felt like I was unworthy of happiness and success growing up I never shared any of this with anyone I kept it inside and anytime I would have any level of success I would start hitting that upper ceiling of of happiness and I go whoa whoa whoa this isn't for me I started self-sabotaging it was all subconscious and I would start self-sabotaging myself and

bringing myself down to a lower level of income of happiness of health because I didn't feel I was deserving of being that guy right and it wasn't until I started to work with with a therapist until I started reading the books, doing the personal development. It took five years of hard work to start cracking through and meeting the higher level version of myself. And I did that because I knew I had the potential of being great. I had the potential of changing the world. I had the potential of making an obscene amount of income and impact and influence over humanity. But potential alone is not going to get us there. We have to, Overcome the shit that is limiting us the shit that is slowing us down the shit that is constantly making us self-sabotage ourselves

And I know that about you like you have such great potential man underneath all of that fucking belly fat and sloppy titties There's this beautiful adonis of a man that you are But you got to get after it and eat right so that you can burn the fat and train hard so that you can build that muscle Because that adonis isn't just going to come out just because you have the potentiality, right? In that beautiful noggin of yours, in that beautiful head of yours, there's all these ideas that you want to bring to fruition,

ways on making humanity better of maybe finding something and making it, improving upon it, right? A technology, a widget, a thing, a new invention, a new creation, a new way of making money for yourself. You have this new business idea. But until you actually do something towards it and stop sabotaging yourself,

you're not going to just magically one day and have created this thing or built that business or changed humanity. Think about the relationship that you want or maybe the relationship that you're in that's not working out because you like me might feel like you don't deserve a healthy relationship, a happy relationship, one where you are to be loved and respected. And so you keep sabotaging or you keep choosing the wrong partners in life. You know what I mean? And all of that is a byproduct of healing. But healing alone is not enough because we're also tempted by so much shit because life is stressful. Life is overwhelming. Life comes to us really hard sometimes and punches us and we fall down on our ass and you don't know what to do next. You don't know what

way to go. You don't know what problem to solve first because you have so many problems on your table. You were already dealing with battles. You were already fighting the wars. And now there was more put on your plate. I get it. I understand that. Hell, just last September, a year ago, a year ago, my mom died. September 23rd. Two weeks later, my son's best friend dies. It's crazy, but these things happen. Four months earlier, I tore my tricep. I mean, these things just stack up. It's winning seasons and losing seasons. That is the human condition. But how you deal with it determines the outcome that you achieve from it. Like, you are guaranteed another losing season. If you're in one right now, you're also guaranteed a winning season. However, it's not just going to manifest

itself. You have to be able to stop doing the things that destroy you as a man and put you on the path to achievement, to success, to happiness, to fulfillment, right? To having a sense of significance and living a life of purpose. All of these things are a byproduct of avoiding the vices, and there are three big vices that destroy men. Guys, quick interruption to the show. Let me tell you all about the truly wellness shot. If you're like me and you care about, your health, hydration, and building a strong immune system so you can stay active and you can get after it in life, then you want to try the Trulian Wellness Shot. I used to take 11 different supplements in the morning, things like vitamin C, vitamin D, vitamin B12, echinacea, ginger, and a whole bunch more.

Now it's all included in the Trulian Wellness Shot. I want to send you a 30-day supply for 50% off. Just go to trulein.com. Use the code word bed roast, my name to get 50% off. You'll also get free shipping. You get a 30-day unconditional money back guarantee. and $1 of every order goes to Shriner's Children's Hospital. And when you use the code word bedros and do the subscribe and save, which is a Trulene Tribe program, every month you'll get a fresh supply of Truling Wellness shots for an additional 20% off and free shipping.

And $1 of every monthly order will go to Shriner's Children's Hospital. So go to truene.com, use code word bedros and take advantage of this amazing offer. Now back to the show. And every single one of these are free. They're legal. in most states, right? And it's like, well, everyone's doing it. So it must be okay.

But is it really? And after running 19 classes of the project, think about how many men have come through the project, the modern day and night project. Firefighters, police officers, entrepreneurs, leaders, senators, congressmen, professional athletes, war fighters.

Like we've had every type of man come through the project. And one or all three of these things have become a vice in their life and have constrained them from achieving the next best version of themselves. And that could be in their health and their mindset, in their money, in their relationship with their spouse, significant other, or their kids. I know what that feels like. I know what it feels like to medicate yourself through life because you're feeling anxious and depressed. To medicate yourself through life because it's just too much on your fucking plate.

To medicate yourself because there's just so much going on. How many battles can you fight? Right? But for what? Because each time you medicate yourself with these things that I'm going to share with you, you end up destroying yourself. That first thing is alcohol, man. alcohol. I know it's legal. I know some of you say you love the taste of it. It goes great with

steak and all this bullshit, but alcohol is poison. There's so much science behind alcohol being poison. It's poisonous for your kidneys, poisonous for your liver, poisonous for your brain. The fact that it takes the edge off of life is because you are literally poisoned and it is dulling your senses. Your body's reaction to being poisoned is dulling of senses until your body can clear it out. Two years ago, I finally stopped drinking once and for all. And it's not like I was an alcoholic. I've told you guys this before. I was a social drinker. You know, at a meet and greet, or after speaking to a thousand people, they had like the VIP meetings. And I was like, you know what? If I have a cocktail or two before I do the meet and greet or the VIP meeting,

I'll end up taking the edge off. You know, I could be a little more comfortable and more loose. after all, I'm an introvert. I would make all these excuses. I didn't even like the taste of alcohol. And up until my mid-40s, I would do that. And it was okay. I thought it was. But what I was really doing is dulling my senses,

unknowingly poisoning my brain, poisoning my organs, setting myself up for a higher likelihood of things like Alzheimer's disease, dementia, short-term, man long-term memory loss over time, right? Like, that's a scary thing, man. My mom died of Alzheimer's. She died last year of Alzheimer's. And guess what? It was a very sad thing to come up to her the previous three years before her death and not know if she's going to recognize me or not.

And she would look at me, her son, and ask me, who are you in Armenian? Could you imagine how devastating that is? If there's a way for you to prevent that, wouldn't you want to? You to and never mind the drinking and driving let's face it I mean what is it point 08 across the country I mean a couple cocktails and you're basically drinking and driving you accidentally run over someone or you do something stupid and now cop pulls you over for a broken taillight and they're dragging you in and you got a DUI on your shit and what about your kids if you have kids what kind of an example are you if you're drinking around them oh it's just social drinking it's just one beer a day it's just a

couple beers a night just a glass of wine with the steak shut the fuck up please I would make those excuses I'm an introvert I'm not good at social events a couple of cocktails will loosen me up and get me to relax and I'll be the better version of myself but then in my mid 40s those couple of cocktails I'd wake up foggy-headed almost hungover and I realized that I'm literally like poisoning my body and it wasn't until I started to do the research a couple years ago, like, I always thought it was just alcoholics. Like people who were heavy drinkers had to worry about this stuff. Untrue.

You and I, you and I who are just social drinkers, or I was a social drinker, we have to worry about this stuff. But you're like, yeah, but it's legal. It's okay. Like everyone does it. Okay, if everyone's jumping off a cliff because it's legal, is that okay for you to do? I don't think so. I don't think so.

And why is it legal? Think about that. Why is it legal? Well, maybe, if on the opposition, maybe I know that through alcohol, I can make you more dependent on me. I can sedate you more. I can kill your ambitions. I can kill your drive. I can kill your dreams.

It ain't just alcohol, my friends, because the second thing is weed. There's so much signs coming out now about consistent weed use and how it not only does increase paranoia, but it makes you more anxious and depressed. And ironically enough, the people that I know who are chronic weed smokers are like, man, I smoke weed because I deal with anxiety. I get depressed. It calms my brain so I could sleep at night. But what it does is it almost compounds the feeling of anxiety and depression the next day. The way I saw Huberman describe it as I did my research, imagine like this fire that you have, right? Like a kitchen, like you're cooking bacon in the kitchen.

And all of a sudden, that oil, the grease fire starts up in that pan. And so you put a lid on it. But you didn't hold the lid down all the way. So while the visually the fire is gone, you think it's gone. You take the lid off and it's even bigger now. It's an even bigger fire in your kitchen. because it got more oxygen. That is what weed does.

It's got its own issues, man. There's studies coming out that ever since they legalized weed in all the different states, college students who are smoking weed on a regular basis are going to the hospitals and emergency rooms feeling like they need to throw up. They're constantly nauseous. They're always paranoid. And they feel like if I just smoke more weed, it goes away. but then after the weed leaves my system,

again, I feel like I'm nauseous, or I end up throwing up, or I'm even more paranoid. So it solves the problem temporarily, only to magnify it after, which then does what? I need to take more, and I need to do it more frequently.

To what end? To what end? All of these vices are killers of dreams. They are killers of men. They are killers of ambition. They are killers of purpose. Like, you know, all of us know, we need to stop this shit, right?

And now when you think about how they will take a vape pan and they'll mix like nicotine and THC with it to increase the addiction factor. And listen, I'm not here to point fingers. I'm someone who still occasionally smokes weed. And I made the decision. I'm stopping. I'm stopping. I would do the THC gummies sometimes to fall asleep.

several times a month, smoke a joint here and there. And I realized, once again, I'm waking up hungover the next day. I'm waking up slow the next day. So I'm not just here to point my fingers. I'm here to tell you, I'm 50 and I'm making these decisions. At 48, I stopped social drinking. I've stopped weed for a few months several times in my life, but this is it. I'm done.

And I'm done because I see how it is a dream killer. And make no mistake about it. I'm an ambitious, driven fucking go get a motherfucker. And I'm not a smoking weed kind of person every single day. That ain't me. That ain't me. But if I'm expecting you to stop, I have to lead by example. If I want my kids to never touch the product, I have to lead by example.

I can't be a hypocrite. I can't feel like an imposter about it. I can't say do this and then I go do that. that's not how I roll. You wouldn't roll that way. You wouldn't respect me. I wouldn't respect you if you're like, hey, B, we're going to stop drinking.

And then I go, all, all right, bro, let's stop. And I find out that you're having a cocktail here and there. Never going to respect you again. I've lost all trust in you at that point, right? And I'm telling you, man, alcohol, weed, and the third thing is pornography. I've done a full episode on pornography. And there's the whole porn-induced impotence, right?

Like literally young men watch so much porn that's unrealistic gang bangs and fucking nine on one or what are the fuck weird shit that you're into. And you're watching such crazy levels of that that when you're with your honey and you're a young man, you should be able to get a rock hard fucking erection. You can't because it's porn induced erectile dysfunction. Go look it up. Porn induced erectile dysfunction in young men. in their early 20s, late 20s, early 30s, this should not be happening. Never mind the guilt that you carry with that.

The shame that you carry with that. Never mind the amount of time it sucks away from you. Never mind the amount of intimacy, it takes away from your relationship. What's it for? How are you going to go and dominate your path in life if you're feeling shame, you're feeling guilt, you're feeling inadequate,

you're feeling like you can't even get a fucking erection with your honey you're feeling like you're a phony you're having to hide a secret just the idea of that you're hiding a secret how how are you going to be able to achieve anything significant in life you can't and i'm telling you i know that you have so many fucking great ideas i know that there's a fucking adonis under that body i know that there's someone who can have a fucking deep meaningful relationship I fucking know you because I am you. I'm just a little bit more evolved. And we have to become vigilant.

We have to become militant in getting rid of the vices that are slowing our progress, our growth and impacting humans and humanity. If you're watching the show, it's not by accident. You are driven to do more. You're not just a human animal trying to fucking graze on peasant food. You want to be a fucking five-star badass across. the board. And a five-star badass is not drinking, is not smoking weed, and is not indulging in pornography. These are the dream killers of men. I'm telling you, every dude that has come

through the project, every dude that as soon as I get off stage, they fucking pull me aside, got to have that secret conversation. There's some kind of stress in their life that they didn't acknowledge properly. Instead, they went to alcohol, weed, or porn to escape that stress instead of actually dealing through that stress, problem solving through that stress, figuring out that stress, working with the therapist, going to a coach or a mentor. There is a issue that happened or issues that happened that they didn't address and then bam, as they start getting more anxious, more depressed, more overwhelmed, they start masking and escaping and literally dulling their senses with alcohol, weed, and pornography.

And I'm here to tell you that I fucking love you. to pieces. I want to see you thrive in life. I know that dream in your fucking head can come to fruition and you will live a purpose driven life. You will be a walking, talking example of humanity with your fucking abs and your fucking guns and the money and the fucking meaning and the impact that you'll make. But it's all on the other side of stopping these vices that are slowing you down, that are killing your dreams, that are secretly weighing you down, You know that you need to stop. You know that even occasionally is too much, but it's easy to just go, maybe next month,

maybe next week, maybe next year, maybe when I turn whatever age. And I'm here to tell you that you could stop today. You could stop today. What? I mean, you're going to smoke weed and then get hungry and eat all this fucking junk food, wake up foggy-headed the next day. even more anxious, more depressed, drink alcohol and poison your body and your brain.

That beautiful fucking brain of yours is coming up with so many great ideas that you want to execute on, but you can't because you're too fucking lazy between the alcohol and the weed or the weed. And so you don't know what to do and you're looking for a new dopamine hit, and you're like, fuck it. Let's watch some kind of porn.

And you're fucking rubbing one out to unrealistic shit that you will never be able to fucking match up. in a relationship, in a healthy relationship. You just simply can't. You can't. And now you're fucking feeling guilty about that. You're feeling shame about that. It's a secret that you have to hide. It's impacting you. It's impacting your relationship, your intimacy. It ain't worth it, man. I'm telling you it ain't worth it. I love you to pieces. I want to see you win in life. I know you are a dreamer. I know you have ambitions. I know you will live a purpose-driven life, but it is on the other side of the poison that is alcohol,

the numbing effects of weed and the secrets that we keep, which is pornography. Take that challenge. Start today and don't look back. I promise you, everything, everything in your life will be better. Your money, your mindset, your relationship, your health, your outlook, you'll be a better example to your kids and to the people who look up to you. your business will improve.

As someone that has stopped alcohol now for two weeks, the amount of clarity, or two weeks, two years now, the amount of clarity that I've gotten over the last two years that I've completely stopped alcohol, it's fucking insane. And then when you see people drinking and they get a little bit,

I'm not even talking drunk, they just get a little bit goofy, you're like, what a fucking loser. And you don't realize that, like, oh, that was me. That was me after two cocktails. Just a little sloppy. Just a little bit, you know,

Goofy. I don't want that. I don't want that for you. Take this challenge. Make the change. Get rid of the alcohol. Get rid of the weed. Get rid of the porn in your life.

And if you do that, I promise you, everything across the board will change. Guys, thank you for watching and listening to this episode of the Bedros Kulian Show. And always remember this, that averages the enemy. Success is your responsibility. And change can take place in an instant

if you are willing to flip the switch. I'll see you next time. When Q was rolling with Lorenzo and a Benzo I was banging with a gang of instrumental