Bedros Keuilian Podcast Show - 120. The Brutal Honest Truth about a Man’s Responsibility

Episode Date: January 14, 2025

As men, our responsibilities go far beyond just providing and protecting. We’re called to lead, to guide, and to be the example our families and communities look to in times of uncertainty. No matter what life throws at you, your circumstances don’t change your duty. You are responsible. Period. In today’s episode of The Bedros Keuilian Show, I break down why there are no excuses when it comes to showing up for your family and the people who depend on you. It’s not always easy, but leadership isn’t about comfort—it’s about doing what needs to be done, even when life gets tough. REGISTER FOR THE LEGACY TRIBE Get the Life, Money, Meaning & Impact You Deserve https://bedroskeuilian.com/legacytribe JOIN MY FREE 6-WEEK CHALLENGE: Transform into a Purpose-Driven Man https://bedroskeuilian.com/challenge TruLean Supplements | https://www.trulean.com/pages/bedros Get 50% Off Trulean Subscribe & Save Bundle Use Code: BEDROS Few Will Hunt Apparel | https://fewwillhunt.com/ Get 20% Off Your Entire Order Use Code: BEDROS OPEN A FIT BODY LOCATION A High-Profit, Scalable Gym Franchise Opportunity Driven By Impact https://sales.fbbcfranchise.com/get-started?utm_source=bedros PODCAST EPISODES: https://bedroskeuilian.com/podcast/ STAY CONNECTED: Website | https://bedroskeuilian.com/ Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/bedroskeuilian/ LinkedIn | https://www.linkedin.com/in/bedroskeuilian Twitter | https://twitter.com/bedroskeuilian

Whatever your responsibility is, the circumstances do not matter. Welcome to the Bedros Koolian Show. Back when Q was rolling with Lorenzo and a Benzo, I was banging with a gang and instrumental. I got a question for you. What is the responsibility of a man? Is it just to provide and protect your family? I don't know. Let's talk about it here.

Guys, welcome to the Bedros Koolian show. My name is Bedros Kulian. And today we're going to talk about the responsibilities of a man. this is a topic that came up in an event that I was speaking at recently. And believe it or not, I don't think a lot of people know what a man's responsibility is. And so I wanted to make this episode because I'm going to just share with you from my own life experience at 50 years old what our responsibility is as a man. Right. And I can tell you this right now.

It ain't just to provide, as in work and make money, to be able to provide food and shelter and then to be the protector, right? If that was the case, then all we need, all your family needs really is a guard dog and the government, because the government will provide welfare and food stamps and free medical and low income housing.

And then the guard dog will bark and bite. And so, voila, provide and protect has been taken care of. So fellas, our responsibility far exceeds, provide and protect as a man. And if you think that that's all your responsibility is, then well, you got another thing coming. And this episode might be right for you.

But first, I want to give you guys a story, a story that actually changed my life. I was an employee at Disneyland back when I was, let's see here, between the ages of, I don't know, like 17 to like 21 or something, 22. For a handful of years, I worked at Disneyland. And I worked at Carnation Cafe for the most part, Main Street restaurants specifically. But Carnation Cafe was kind of home for me. And there I went from a busboy to a fry cook, ultimately to a dinner cook, and then a sous chef.

And please don't be impressed by the fact that I have sous chef abilities because all the sous chef does is prep food for the real chef. And so I can tell you this, that when I was a fry cook, and a dinner cook at Carnation Cafe, Main Street, USA at Disneyland, during my tenure when I worked there, was very busy in the evenings. And I mostly worked evening shifts

because I liked trying to start up businesses. All my failed businesses early on, I would try and work on my businesses first thing in the morning, like all my weird hairbrain ideas that I would come up. I created a website called Total Muscle.com.

I don't even know if that's out there and that's active or not. but back in 1997, I had total muscle.com, and it was an online supplement retail store, right? Except there was no Google. Think about that. There was no paid ads. There was no mass email.

There was no social media. And there was no online credit card verification. And so every time I would get it, not every time, but about one out of every four or five orders, I would literally get someone who would buy a shit ton of stuff pay with a credit card, I'd ship their stuff out, take it to you, box it up, take it to UPS. And then a month would go by and then that credit card company would do a charge back

because it was a stolen credit card that was used. And I had already sent the supplements out. And so that was that. So I had so many failed businesses. So I would do my, you know, attempt my entrepreneurial muscles in the mornings. Then I'd go work out and then I'd get to Disneyland by two or three in the afternoon. And in the evenings they had the Main Street electrical parade. And the Main Street Electrical Parade was one of those things where the entire park, like 60,000 people is what 60 to 80,000 people is what the average day consists of at the Disneyland Park.

Now California Adventures, but at the Disneyland Park. And I'd say probably two thirds of them would try and converge like on Main Street along the parade path all the way to it's a small world if you've ever been to Disneyland. And so we're talking like packed. And so everyone wants to eat a carnation cafe and then sit on the patio while they're eating and watch the electrical parade. So it was super busy. And so my shift, I had a really late shift that was starting that one of these days. And I was about to cross Main Street, but the parade was happening. Now I knew the parade schedule.

I'd worked there for a couple years already. Truth is I left my parents' house late and I was taking my sweet old time. and I was just hoping that I wouldn't hit red lights. And if I drive fast enough, I might just make it. But I didn't. And the parade started, which means I was 20 minutes late to my location, Carnation Cafe. And when I got into my location, the guy who was running the grill, which was my job at the time as a dinner cook, was Doug. And Doug was probably 6-3, 6-4 in his late 40s, maybe early 50s, a giant, giant.

man always wore button-down shirts a tie and had a big belly just a giant man very firm very direct but always willing to flip his tie over his shoulder and jump in and help us in the kitchen when the restaurant would get packed and Doug was working the grill and when you're working the grill you've got like dozens of burger patties dozens of steaks two or three dozen chicken breasts on that grill, you got like all this oil splattering everywhere as it's frying, right? And, you know, his slacks and his shirt are just covered. And when things died down, and I jumped into another position in the kitchen, and when things died down, he pulled me aside. And he's like, hey, man, you were late. He didn't ask why I was late. He said, hey, man, you were late. And I'm going to have to

write you up. I was like, oh, Doug, let me explain. You know, there was traffic. And then there were electrical parade started and I was stuck on the other side of Main Street. I had to wait till half the parade went and then they do a little break and then I was able to cross and then he stopped me. He put his finger up. He said, hey, Badros and his big bellowing voice. I said, yeah. He said, circumstance does not change responsibility. Ooh, that hurt. And I realized in that very moment that whatever excuse that I had, if I had left my house an hour earlier, I would have gotten to work on time without feeling rushed, I would have gotten to location. I could have been standing around for an hour doing whatever, hanging out, shooting the shit in the break area. And then when it was time to

work, I could have gone into work. Now that's probably excessive getting there an hour early. But it's not like I had anything pressing happening. I was just pressing my luck. And when Doug said circumstance does not change responsibility, I realized like this company is paying me for my time to do this particular job and here this supervisor who's dressed in a remember he had a nice beautiful light blue shirt on and a dark tie and slacks he was sweating up like a storm working the grill and covered with grease and he was calm and cool about it very disappointed in me and rightfully so but it's probably one of the greatest lessons of my life because I realized in that moment circumstances not change responsibility.

It doesn't matter. It wouldn't matter if I got in a car accident. It shouldn't matter if a dog bit me. It shouldn't matter if I got a flat tire. I've got a responsibility to be there. Now, I get it. Those are all extreme things. But think about it.

How often do you make excuses? How often do you allow circumstances to impact your responsibilities? The circumstances of I don't feel well. I don't feel like it. It's too hot. It's too cold. I didn't sleep well. It hurts.

I don't really need to leave right now. I could just watch one more YouTube video. I could just listen to one more thing. I could just do one more whatever, right? Circumstances do not change responsibility, my friend. And when you think about as a man, what our responsibilities are, it's not just to provide and to protect. So if you're like, what?

I provide. What's the problem? Well, you also have to preside. like if you've got kids, if you've got a family, they need direction, they need a path, they need to be taught core values, they need to be shown what's ethically right and wrong. They need to learn what are the things that we stand for in this family and what are the things that we will not tolerate in this family. Like you're raising little humans who are going to become formidable adults,

right? That is your responsibility as a dad, as a man. Hell, as a mom, right? Like, ladies out there, circumstances not change responsibility. Whatever your responsibility is, the circumstances do not matter. And that's just your kids. Like, it doesn't matter if it's family, if it's your fitness. Well, I work too much. Well, you work too much. Have you figured out how much you're spending in life? have you figured out why you're not making more? Have you figured out how you can structure your time and become more efficient to maybe find a side gig or to find another new skill to develop so that you can get paid more for the same hours that you're working or get paid more for less hours so that you can make time for your fitness

and for your family and for your relationship? Because those are your responsibilities. And when we think about what a man's responsibility is, it is to provide and to protect. That is the lowest level of responsibility. Beyond that, you have to be a walking, talking role model to your kids, to your family, to your friends, to your coworkers. So if you're not fit and you're not formidable, how are your kids going to be fit? Why tell them to work out and eat right?

They're not listening to what you say. They do what you do. And if you're screen sucking, doom scrolling, always late, always stressed, always overwhelmed, always broke, you are going to produce fat, lazy, always stressed, always broke, always overwhelmed, always angry and bitter kids. That's the reality. So you have a responsibility to your family. You have a responsibility to your health and fitness.

Yeah, but I don't have time. or I don't know how. Learn, big boy. Learn. If you don't respect the responsibility that you have to your family in terms of being healthy, being happy and optimistic, being a purpose-driven man,

that's your responsibility to find your source of fulfillment. And it may not be your job. It may not be your business. Maybe your job or your business is your source of income, but you have a hobby that gives you fulfillment and makes you happy and gives you a sense of great purpose. You are modeling to humanity, to your kids, to your family, what they should be like right now this very moment.

And so if you're like, well, I don't know how to be fit, I don't know how to eat right. Well, it ain't rocket science to figure out what your macros are. Do a few YouTube searches, figure it out, start tracking your macros, your carbs, your protein, your fat. based on whether you want to build muscle and burn fat and then get to it. See, we can always make time for the things that we want and we'll always make excuses for the things that we really don't find that interesting in our life.

But what you don't realize is that you have a responsibility as a man and circumstances not change responsibility, my friend. You guys, quick interruption to the Bedrose Cullion show. I took some time to go to the local juice stores here in town and I bought all these different ginger, turmeric, and wellness shots. Now, they range anywhere from $3.69 all the way to $4.5. And to be honest with you, they all suck.

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to Shriners Children's Hospital. Best of all, if you like the Truline Wellness Shots, and I know you will, like thousands of other people who are part of the Trulene tribe, every month will send you a new supply at 20% off free shipping. So go to truleen.com, use my name Bedros and get your 50% discount code before it goes away. Back to the show. And you have a responsibility to be fulfilled, to have purpose, to have meaning and significance. You're not just a fucking robot. You're not just a robot that's here to work and be stressed out and overwhelmed and not enjoy life.

bro, I want you to enjoy life. I want you to have fulfillment and happiness. You're not just some robot that's supposed to go to work and be too tired to work out. Because I bet if I hung out with you for a whole 24 hours, I could find a lot of time that you're screen sucking. I could find a lot of time that you're watching TV, your favorite sports team. You ought to be on the field, man, not watching it on the fucking couch, leaving a butt print on the couch. Like, get on the field. Like, there's recreational football.

Go play it. Between the video games, television, social media, I could chart out at least three to four hours a day that you're sucking up that we can put towards finding something that gives you greater fulfillment. Finding a workout that will help you burn fat and build muscle. Creating a meal plan that you could stick to. Going on date nights with the honey.

Like, hello, you courted her. All you wanted was her. her and now you got her and now you don't give two shits about her i'm just putting that out there fellas we have responsibilities as a man in our fitness in our faith like i don't have time to go to church if you're a church going person or you feel like you should be reading the bible or whatever your source of faith is you want to meditate or howl at the moon whatever your thing is make time for it it's your responsibility because if you don't, you can't expect that of your kids, of your family, of the people around you. And this is how humanity erodes and we become human animals.

You know, we always talk about money, meaning, and self-mastery on the BK show here. Yet, if you're just making enough money to survive, but you have no meaning and you have no self-mastery, because you're just a fat slob and you're eating whatever you want because I'm too tired, I'm too stressed, I'm too overwhelmed. I don't know how to eat right. Figure it out. big boy F-I-O. And I say this with love, man. I want to see you guys win.

I know sometimes I sound very angry and pissed and agitated. Believe it or not, it's because of the passion that I have towards you, man. I want to see every fucking single one of you win. You know, I'm recovering from a hernia. I'm now three weeks in

or post-surgery. I had a double hernia, right? Inguinal hernia, for those of you that are going to ask in the comment section, it was, so let me just, because I know it was a double, hernia left and right side inguinal inguinal hernia and yes they use the patch i know some people are like

oh my god you're gonna tear it again i don't care i don't care i'll go and get a surgery again i'm always going to be active i'm always going to get after it i'm always going to be an example to my kids and i'm not going to be like well this is it i'm 50 and i got a double hernia and uh my the patch blew out so i guess i have to be a couch potato fuck that that ain't me That ain't you. And I share this with you because today I was at a local big box gym because they have a lot of those machines with the pins. Because I can't even pick up heavy plates yet and heavy dumbbells because I'll blow out my, you know, surgery. Don't tell my doctor, but I, he said I shouldn't be working out until at least like three, four weeks into my recovery.

Exactly on day three I was working out. but very light. I also am very familiar with my body and I know how to create stimulus for my muscles, get my heart rate up without having to blow out my hernia. But I share this with you guys because I was at a big box gym today using the machines, right? At my gym at BK Strength,

I have a lot of free weights and stuff and that requires picking things up and putting it down and that's too heavy for me right now. But I realize like there's like leg press machine with like five plates on it. there's attachments, handles and bars and ropes all over the ground. Like, whatever happened to the responsibility of picking up after yourself, rewracking the weights, putting the shopping cart back. Once again, circumstance does not change responsibility.

You're like, yeah, but that's where I found it. Okay. All right. You found the trisip press bar on the ground. You used it. Can you put it back? You took all the weights off the leg press. And then started doing your set.

And then you left her two plates on there. Well, there were five plates before B. I get it. Can you take her two plates off? It's your responsibility, right? And that's the point I'm trying to make here. So you start setting higher standards for yourself. If you start setting higher expectations for yourself,

you realize that all the people around you rise to the occasion. You are an agent of change, my friend. And until you understand that, you will constantly stoop to the lowest common denominator. I'm going to leave my shopping cart over there in the bushes and not take it to the cart corral. I'm going to leave the weights on the machine. I'm going to leave the attachments on the ground.

There's piss all over the toilet seat, but it ain't my piss, so I'm not going to clean it. Well, it's in your workspace. It's in your office. Clean it. And then go and talk to everyone and be like, hey, fellas, what the fuck? You're like a human sprinkler system.

I don't know which one of you pissed all. all over the toilet seat, but I took the liberty of cleaning up after you like I'm your daddy. Have you considered maybe getting some toilet paper and cleaning up after yourself? Because it's your responsibility. Yeah, but I was running late and I didn't have time. Shut the fuck up. Circumstance does not change responsibility.

And that's the point I'm trying to make here, fellas. So understand that if it's just provide and protect, the government and a mangy dog can do that for you or your family. They can provide food and shitty shelter and government cheese and peanut butter and then a mangy dog can bark when an intruder comes and now you're not needed, fella. Or you can be a walking, talking example of great humanity. You can be a fucking example of how to live a life well lived. You can be the change that everybody wants, but no one wants to lead the charge. Like you could be that guy.

And it doesn't take a lot of effort these days. We've all seen that clip from Dana White, where he talks about people are so fucked up. They're so lazy. They're so unmotivated. They have such a little drive that if you just have a little fucking sprinkle of savage in you, you can dominate and own the world. Like, that ought to be you.

And that little sprinkle of savage can become a wildfire. And you'll become so contagious. You'll become such a great example of humanity. and you'll be proud of yourself, man, you take your shirt off, you look good in the fucking mirror. Your honey's like, uh, get over here, like that. She goes, uh, like that. Get over here. Damn, that hurt my hernia, fellas.

And here is laughing, but I think I actually popped a fucking stitch on that one. We'll fucking deal with that later tonight. The point I'm making here is circumstance does not change responsibility. And thank God, some 30 years ago, Doug. My supervisor at Disneyland said that to me. And I know what my responsibilities are to myself, my mental health, my physical health, my emotional health, to my relationships, to my family, to the people I love, to my purpose, to my life's calling, to the higher calling.

I know that. I know exactly what my responsibilities are and I don't take the shortcuts. And I don't want you to take the shortcuts. We all have the same number of hours in the day. You've heard that one before, which means if the busiest person out there can do it, so can you. But again, we're either going to make excuses or we're going to find reasons why we should.

And those reasons are your family, your future. And I talked about this on a recent episode, the eulogy. How do you want to be remembered? Like every day, the actions you take every day, my friends, The actions you take every single day is actively writing down your eulogy. And do you want your eulogy to read like this person was a lazy, unmotivated, kind of mediocre and average? I'm sure someone will go up and say something nice about you, but it will be a lie.

That's most eulogies for the most part are. Let's face it. Let's be honest. Wouldn't you want the fucking truth to be like, this person was fucking after it in life. optimistic, fit, a good dad, squared away, made the money, had the meaning, developed his self-mastery. It was a great example of humanity and gave back, gave back not only with money, but with time. And he's left a legacy. That's a fucking eulogy there, huh? Circumstances not change responsibilities, my friend.

By the way, write this date down. May 31st, 2025, BK. Live, taking place in beautiful Anaheim, California at the Grove Theater. I want you to join us. Tickets are not up for sale yet. They will be in a couple weeks, and I'll let you know. But in the meantime, mark the dates. May 31st, 2025, BK. Live, an amazing lineup of speakers, massively transformational for your life and your business and in the meantime remember this that averages the enemy that success is your

responsibility and change can take place in an instant if you are willing to flip the switch i'll see you next time back when cue was rolling with Lorenzo and a benzo i was banging with a gang instrumental