Bedros Keuilian Podcast Show - 134. The Truth About Why Men Are So Lost Today

Episode Date: April 22, 2025

Masculinity isn’t toxic — it’s under attack.Young men today are more depressed, anxious, and lost than ever before. Not because they’re weak… but because society is stripping them of purpose, confidence, and the masculine virtues they were born to lead with.In this episode of The Bedros Keuilian Show, I break down the exact playbook that’s being used to weaken our boys — and give you the 10 strategies to rebuild strong, disciplined, purpose-driven men.Whether you're a father, a mentor, or a young man searching for direction — this is your roadmap.This isn’t just parenting advice. It’s how we protect the next generation of leaders.BEDROS KEUILIAN LIVE 2025 | MAY 31, 2025 in Anaheim, CAhttps://live.bedroskeuilian.com/2025REGISTER FOR THE LEGACY TRIBEGet the Life, Money, Meaning & Impact You Deservehttps://bedroskeuilian.com/legacytribeJOIN MY FREE 6-WEEK CHALLENGE:Transform into a Purpose-Driven Manhttps://bedroskeuilian.com/challengeTHE SQUIRE PROGRAM: A rite of Passage for Your Son as He Becomes a ManA Father and Son Experience That Will Be Remembered FOREVERhttps://squireprogram.com/registerTruLean Supplements | https://www.trulean.com/pages/bedrosGet 50% Off Trulean Subscribe & Save BundleUse Code: BEDROS Few Will Hunt Apparel | https://fewwillhunt.com/Get 20% Off Your Entire OrderUse Code: BEDROSOPEN A FIT BODY LOCATIONA High-Profit, Scalable Gym Franchise Opportunity Driven By Impacthttps://sales.fbbcfranchise.com/get-started?utm_source=bedrosPODCAST EPISODES:https://bedroskeuilian.com/podcast/STAY CONNECTED:Website | https://bedroskeuilian.com/Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/bedroskeuilian/LinkedIn | https://www.linkedin.com/in/bedroskeuilianTwitter | https://twitter.com/bedroskeuilian

Confidence is born in earned victories over adversities. Welcome to the Bedroft's Coolian show. Back when Q was rolling with Lorenzo and a Benzo, I was banging with a gang and instrumental. The attack on masculinity continues. In fact, young boys and young men are the greatest target right now by the devil. What I mean by that is I believe that there is a dark force working against our boys and our young men and making them depressed. anxious, dumb, dependent, sick, and fat, and without purpose. And on today's episode of the BK show, we're going to address this.

Now, the idea for this episode came from this woman named Cynthia. She sent me a message. She said, I'm a single mom. And I found your channel because I was doing research on Google on how to raise a young man with virtues and how to teach him to become a healthy, masculine man. And she said, I found content. but I think that I need more in-depth stuff. Can you help me and do a show on it?

And I realized this is a reoccurring message that I get often. And I realized also that there is a darker force that is literally, I believe, causing our young men to be more feminized, causing our young men to be more dependent on the system. They lack emotional discipline, mental toughness, and resiliency. and I believe there's an attack on the youth. And so I did what I often do is I start doing research. But this time around I went to chat GPT.

And I said, hey, chat GPT, let's do a little thought experiment. I said, if you were the devil and you wanted to prevent boys from developing masculinity and confidence in life, how would you go about it? And here is what chat GPT gave me. It said, well, that's an interesting thought experiment. definitely one that can reveal a lot about our cultural values and psychological development. It said if I were the devil and I wanted to prevent boys from developing masculinity and confidence, I'd focus on strategies that attack identity, purpose, discipline, positive role models, and here's a list of tactics that I might use.

Number one, I would demonize traditional masculinity. Label strength and assertiveness, risk-taking and leadership as toxic. couple harmful behavior with all masculine traits to confuse and shame boys for acting like men. Number two, I would remove strong male role models. Undermine fatherhood, breakup families, portray fathers as incompetent and irrelevant in the media, in movies, and on social media, ensure boys rarely see honorable, powerful men in everyday life. Number three, suppress competition and risk taking. Make all competition unfair or dangerous, promote safety, comfort, equality of outcome over challenge, resilience, and earned success.

Number four, Medicaid and pathologize natural boy behavior. Label boyish energy, impulsiveness, curiosity as disorders. Overdiagnose and over-medicate boys who don't conform to passive classroom norms. Number five, discourage physical development. Make fitness seem vain or aggressive. Remove physical education, discourage sports, and push boys towards sedentary screen-based activities. Number six, confuse sexual identity and gender roles. Flood their formative years with mixed messages about what it means to be a man.

Make masculinity seem unnecessary and even dangerous. Number seven, promote emotional dependency and victimhood. Discourage problem solving and money. emotional self-regulation, encourage them to always seek external validation or safe spaces instead of building resilience. Number eight, disrupt mentorship and brotherhood. Breakdown spaces where men can form healthy bonds, things like teams, lodges, apprenticeships, even locker rooms, frame all male spaces as inherently problematic. Number nine, overload with porn and instant gratification. hook them on dopamine hits, video games, porn, junk food, endless entertainment so they lose

ambition and drive. Number 10. Undermine purpose and vision. Teach them that there is no higher calling or unique mission for men. Remove any sense of destiny, legacy, or duty to protect, build, or lead. Number 11. Redefine strength as oppression. condition them to believe that their power is a threat.

Shame them into silence and compliance under the banner of equality and equity. Promote isolation and virtual identity. Encourage them to live behind screens instead of in the real world. Let their self-worth be measured by likes, follows, and pixels. So as we go through this list, as you look at what the devil would do if they want to to discourage young men from being masculine and confident, prevent any sense of purpose in our young men. Doesn't this seem true for many of you

who are in your 20s, maybe in your teens, and you feel lost, you feel without purpose, you feel that there's no place for you in this life? And if you're a parent of a teen or early 20 year old, young man, don't you feel like, holy crap, Bedros is describing exactly what my son is. is going through. Now, what if we were to replace the devil with big government, with what I call the opposition, the opposition being big government and big government being controlled by

pharmaceutical companies, big food conglomerant, television and media, the big war machine? Now, when you think about it, if we can then increase the dependency on government by our young men, they will then let go of democracy, of capitalism, and they will lean more towards communism and socialism, won't they? Because they will feel lost, confused, depressed, anxious, without a sense of purpose. And so as I got to thinking about this episode, I realized I meet so many young men at the Squire program whose fathers bring them there to go through an experience to help relight the fire, to help them find a sense of purpose, to help them find a sense of meaning, to make them more competitive, to show them that it is okay to be ambitious and aggressive, that

that is not toxic. In fact, that is a gift from God that masculinity and the traits of masculinity of ambition, drive, aggression, leadership is a gift from God. And I love seeing these young men over a 12-hour period go from being sad, depressed, unmotivated and quite frankly not happy to be there to being ecstatic driven and showing their claws and things and teaching them the virtues of masculinity because there is no playbook and so as i got to thinking i would be doing you a disservice if i explained to you how the devil would attack our young men and prevent them from being masculine and confident without telling you how we can reverse this, how we can fix this, and how you as a parent can solve this for your young man.

And if you're in your 20s, by the way, or if you're in your teens and you're like, you know what, I don't have a father figure. My dad is not in my life. Am I doomed? No, you're not. You're not because the things I'm going to tell you are things you're going to use to father yourself. Right? Because in the absence of a father, in the absence of a positive male role model, you're going to have to become your own father.

going to have the father yourself. And as I go through this list, dads pay attention, young men pay attention because this is the playbook to developing healthy masculinity, confident men who are purpose driven and who understand that masculinity is truly a gift from God. So then, if I were to flip this script against the devil and I were to come out in opposition against the devil, what would I do to help young men become courageous, purpose-driven, have discipline, community, and help them cultivate their identity? Well, I would do this. First, I would redefine and affirm masculinity to them.

I would teach healthy masculinity as strength under control. I teach them to be protective, decisive, and purpose-driven. I would distinguish toxic behavior from masculine. virtues. There are plenty of toxic behaviors that women demonstrate has nothing to do with masculinity. How can a female demonstrate toxic behavior if they are not masculine? Yet we seem to identify toxic behavior with only masculinity. So I would distinguish toxic behavior and show that there's a difference between that and masculinity and masculine virtues. Things like courage, ambition, aggression, leadership, these things aren't bad. They just need to be trained. They need to be controlled and not

erased. The second thing I would do is I would encourage them to find strong male role models, right? So dads, this is your responsibility to be a strong male role model. And young men, if you don't have a father in your life, find strong male role models. So I would encourage you to prioritize involved fathers, mentors, coaches, older brothers, who model integrity, responsibility, emotional discipline, fitness, right? These virtues of men are important. These are factory installed in us when we're young and then television, church, the school system, big media, extract these virtues out of us, or at least attempt to.

And so if you have male role models around you who can mentor you and who can can be examples of integrity, responsibility, emotional intelligence, and who can teach you that it is okay to struggle and do hard things and push yourself and find your 2.0 self in the path of struggle because we know that hardship and adversity introduces a man to his highest self. Yet today we've gotten so comfortable and complacent and we want everything to be easy. And the more we take the path of easy in life, the more harmful we become to ourselves. Because a man must always test himself. He must always see if he has what it takes to continue to be a courageous, confident,

capable, strong man. And if you are not constantly doing hard things and testing yourself, you will never know if you have what it takes. Number three, physical challenges and discipline. Get boys into martial arts, weightlifting. wrestling, jujitsu, boxing, or any physical discipline that teaches pain, perseverance, and self-mastery. Make movement and discomfort a habit.

Confidence is born in earned victories over adversity. There's no better way to say that. And as I wrote that down, I got these chills on my arms. Let me say that again. Confidence is born in earned victories over adversities. So if you're not constantly testing yourself against hardship and adversities, you will not win. And if you don't win, you will not build confidence. If you don't build confidence, you become insecure.

You become depressed, anxious, and dependent on the system, right? Number four, teach responsibility early. Now, if you're a young man and you're like, man, I'm in my teens, I should have learned this early on or in my 20s. It's okay. It's never too late. But in an ideal world, I'm talking to your dad's right now. If you've got little babies, I need you to teach responsibility. early on in life. Give them real responsibilities and trust, chores, jobs, caring for siblings,

fixing things. These things build pride and competence. When Andrew, my son, was a little puppy, two, three, four years old. He would show curiosity in what I'm doing around the house, what I'm fixing, what I'm trying to put together. One time I built a workbench in my garage, he was out there helping me. Now, was he drilling things in and hammering things? No, he wasn't, but I was say, Andrew hand me that. And I would take the thing from him and I would drill it in and I would put the bracket onto the, onto the tabletop and attach it to the leg of the table. And he would see me doing the work. I believe he had a sense of pride and even ownership in the building of that work bench, even though I did 99% of the work. Because he was present, because he was curious,

because he was handing me tools and little brackets and things, he felt like he's doing something purpose-driven. Hey guys, quick interruption to the Bedrose Koolien show. I took some time to go to the local juice stores here in town and I bought all these different ginger, turmeric, and wellness shots. Now, they range anywhere from $3.69, all the way to $4.5. And to be honest with you, they all suck. Why?

Because they do not have anywhere near the wonderful ingredients of the Truline Wellness Shot. First of all, to build your immune system and keep your immune system strong, Truly Wellness Shot is packed with vitamin C, vitamin D, and zinc. And also to help you fight off inflammation, it is packed with turmeric, ginger, and black pepper. And to keep you hydrated, Truline Wellness Shots have sodium, potassium, and magnesium. This is the ultimate morning supplement.

Just take one packet, pour it in four ounces of water, and shoot it, and you're good to go. Best of all, $1.69 per packet instead of twice the price of those other inferior one. I want you to get 50% off your first 30-day season. supply. So go to trulean.com, use my name Bedros, and you can get 50% off plus free shipping, a 30-day money back guarantee, and $1 gets donated to Shriners Children's Hospital. Best of all, if you like the Trulene Wellness Shots, and I know you will, like thousands of other people who are part of the Trulene tribe, every month will send you a new supply at 20%

off free shipping. So go to truleen.com, use my name Bedros, and get your 50% discount code before it goes away. Back to the show. Number five, Brotherhood and Mail, and MailBon bonding, create spaces for boys to bond with other boys and men, sports teams, youth groups, clubs, retreats. Brotherhood is important for us. As you guys know, I ran the Modern Day Night Project for five years and 20 classes. Till this day, the brotherhood of men in that group is super tight, the friendship, the camaraderie. They lean on one another in times of good and in times of bad. And if you don't have a brotherhood and if it's not a brotherhood where confidence is forged and iron is sharpened, then you are that lone wolf. And a lone wolf never survives. It's important to be part of a pack.

Number six, limit dopamine traps. Now, dopamine traps are more prevalent now than ever before. Like everywhere you turn, pornography, social media. Even your food, you can order food on post. hostmate or grubhub and it shows up. You don't have to go and get it. And so those quick dopamine hits that you get even from ordering something on Amazon, everything is quick and impulsive and you get that quick, cheap dopamine hit. If you can limit these dopamine traps, all the better for you. Reduce their time on video games, porn, social media, completely eliminate some of those

things, right? All of which train you to chase pleasure instead of purpose. And if you can replace these addictions with creation, discipline, and actual real world experiences out there in life on the mats, in the ring, in the gym, interacting, problem solving, connecting, doing things that men do to bond and have shared experiences. You are building a healthy, competent, capable, confident young man. Of course, spiritual and moral foundation is massively important. Encourage a belief system, faith, philosophy, a code, virtue, something that gives them a higher mission to protect, build, lead, and serve. Teach honor, restraint, courage, and the value of truth. That's how boys become men with purpose. If we do not teach the value of truth, if we do not

teach these things of honor, restraint, courage, and values, then we become dream. Drifters, we drift through life, like Napoleon Hill would say in his book, Outwitting the Devil. And if you're drifting through life, then you end up adopting everyone else's values or lack thereof. You end up doing what everyone else is doing. You no longer see things in black and white. You see things in different shades of gray, and that is a very dangerous place to be. Number eight, celebrate achievement and competition. Don't handicap boys.

Let them compete. Let them win. them lose, let them get hurt. Not injured, but hurt. This is important. Winning and losing both build confidence if done right. Praise effort, improvement, and resilience. Not just participation. Reward them for winning. It is okay to do that. That does not make you a hard parent. That does not make you a parent who is harsh with your kid. Reward the behaviors that you want to see and they will give more effort towards those behaviors. Number nine, encourage emotional mastery and not just suppression of emotions. Teach emotional control, not by suppressing feelings, but by naming,

channeling, and using them with strength. Let them feel anger, sadness, fear, but also show them how to channel that, that we can't just put our fist through a wall, that we can't just go and yell at someone because they're weaker than us, that we have to have these emotional emotions under control and we have to be able to channel them out in a healthy way. Go to the jiu-jitsu mats, go to the boxing ring, go to the gym and take it out on the weights. Go hit the track and go do a three or five-mile run because when you do, you will take all of that angry, violent energy that you have and you will put it, channel it towards better use, right? Let them feel the anger, sadness, and fear, then show them how to lead those emotions and just not be

led by them. Today, our young men are led by their emotions and feelings. We want our young men to be able to lead their emotions, to feel them, understand them, and know how to channel them out of their body in a positive way. Number 10, give vision and direction. Help them imagine what they want to become. Ask questions like, hey, what's your mission in life? What kind of man do you? want to be. Like expose your sons to biographies, stories, experiences, different vocations, industries. You might learn something from it as well. And when you do, this may light a fire under this young man. They may discover a new path or purpose that they didn't even know that they had. But it is onto you, dads, to do these things. And if you can do these things,

then you will fight the traps that the devil has set for your son. Now, the devil shows up in many ways. Oftentimes, the devil shows up in the most benign ways. For example, it's just social media. I'm just scrolling before you know what three hours are gone by. The average American is on social media three hours a day. Do you know if your young man is in his room hiding out, going on porn sites?

and getting addicted to that garbage. Do you know if they're vaping, if they're taking some weed every night just to fall asleep? Because they can't control their thoughts, feelings, and emotions. You know, as parents, sometimes it's easy to ignore what might be little red flags because you don't want to confront, you don't want to hurt their feelings. But it's also your job, your duty and your responsibility as a parent.

to show up, to confront, to ask questions, and to create space and hold space for your young man so that he can share how he feels, how he thinks, what he's experiencing in life, and you can start giving the advice to lead him in a better path. Guys, when I say there's dark forces working against our young men, to hold them back, to oppress them, to tear down masculinity, confidence, and purpose in our young men, I truly believe the devil is hard at work. But we, as society, as fathers, as parents are far more capable if we are willing to be involved. If you're not willing to be involved, if you're going to turn your head, if you're going to hide from the realities,

parenting is not easy. Parenting is not for the faint of heart. You can't be your kid's friend all the time. You must show up with discipline at times. You must show up with structure at times. You must call out lack of character, integrity, and virtues at times. It's uncomfortable. I've had those uncomfortable moments with my son.

But if you are not willing to have them, you are going to develop a monster. And you are going to unleash that monster onto society as they become adults. And unfortunately, that young man will end up joining an army of monsters who are weak, emotionally, who lack mental toughness, who have zero discipline, who are addicts, who are dependent on vices, and who are treated like children by their girlfriends and future wives. Because when a man does not carry himself like a confident, capable, competent man, he does not demonstrate the virtues of masculinity. He does not have physical, mental, emotional strength. He is not purpose-driven and on a path of something greater than who he is. And then he finds himself a woman. That woman

will treat him like her boy. I'm pretty certain you don't want that. And if you're a young man and you're in a relationship right now and you feel like your wife, your girlfriend is treating you like her son. And it's because you have four. You forfeited your masculinity. That's the only reason why. You have forfeited your masculinity. You have asked her through your lack of masculine traits to take on and step into her masculine boots. And she's doing the best she can to lead you in the absence of your leadership.

Guys, I hope you got a ton of value from this episode. 74% of you watching this on YouTube are not subscribed. Please do me a favor and subscribe, like and comment. Because when you do, you are triggering the algorithm so that we can share this information with more fathers and young men so that we can build confident, capable, tough, resilient, gentlemen who are going to take such great care of humanity in the future. I look forward to seeing you at BK Live on May 31st and always remember this, that averages the enemy, that success is your responsibility, and change can take place in an instant

if you are willing to flip the switch. I'll see you next time. between me and you back when Q was rolling with Lorenzo and a Benzo I was banging with a gang of instrumental