Bedros Keuilian Podcast Show - 150. What the Personal Development “Gurus” got Wrong

Episode Date: August 12, 2025

Most people think personal development is about sound bowls, journaling, and ice baths but none of that matters if you're still driven by impulse, emotion, and unresolved trauma.In this episode of The Bedros Keuilian Show, I break down what real personal development actually looks like. I share my own journey building emotional resilience and self-mastery and how I evolved from operating as a human animal to becoming my higher self.If you're stuck, sabotaging your progress, or just tired of surface-level growth hacks, this episode will show you how to do the real work, level up your life, and stay there.MAN UP SCALE BUNDLE: $29 (100% Goes to Charity)Get your Digital Man Up book + Audiobook + 2 Exclusive MASTERCLASSES & Support Shriners Children’s Hospital. https://www.manuptribe.com/limited-offerREGISTER FOR THE LEGACY TRIBEGet the Life, Money, Meaning & Impact You Deservehttps://bedroskeuilian.com/legacytribeJOIN MY FREE 6-WEEK CHALLENGE:Transform into a Purpose-Driven Manhttps://bedroskeuilian.com/challengeTHE SQUIRE PROGRAM: A rite of Passage for Your Son as He Becomes a ManA Father and Son Experience That Will Be Remembered FOREVERhttps://squireprogram.com/registerTruLean Supplements | https://www.trulean.com/pages/bedrosGet 50% Off Trulean Subscribe & Save BundleUse Code: BEDROS Few Will Hunt Apparel | https://fewwillhunt.com/Get 20% Off Your Entire OrderUse Code: BEDROSOPEN A FIT BODY LOCATIONA High-Profit, Scalable Gym Franchise Opportunity Driven By Impacthttps://sales.fbbcfranchise.com/get-started?utm_source=bedrosPODCAST EPISODES:https://bedroskeuilian.com/podcast/STAY CONNECTED:Website | https://bedroskeuilian.com/Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/bedroskeuilian/LinkedIn | https://www.linkedin.com/in/bedroskeuilianTwitter | https://twitter.com/bedroskeuilian

What personal development is is a constant seeking out of the higher self by peeling away the layers of human animal. Welcome to the Bedroft's Coolie and show. Back when Q was rolling with Lorenzo and a Benzo, I was banging with a gang and instrumental. Personal development is the biggest joke there is. In fact, truly most of personal development today is a big fat joke, an absolute waste of time, energy, and money if you're investing into any kind of sound bowls and, and journaling tools and ice baths and all these things, because the modern day personal development program is really just flexing on Instagram. Guys, welcome to the Bedroskoolian show.

I'm Bedroskulian. Today's episode is dedicated to personal development and actually getting it right. And what personal development is, but how it has morphed to an absolute joke in today's digital world of flexing on social media and showing that you're doing something to heal yourself. and to elevate to the higher self.

So I started thinking about this because more and more you're seeing YouTube videos and Instagram posts about someone, you know, they put their yoga mat out, they set up their camera, they're journaling, they're dipping their face in the banana water like Ashton Hall, they're doing the interpretive dance, then they hit the sound bowls, and then they end up doing into a deep meditation. And all of that could be really good for you. if the intention behind it is actually producing an outcome. But in reality, most of these people, in my personal experience, are just doing it for the gram.

They're doing it for the gram. And when I think about what self-development is, what personal development is, it's really something that is designed to take a person to their highest level of potentiality, right? Think about this. When you and I are born, we're not born with our highest potential. If you were, then you would be born whatever the height that you're supposed to be as an adult. You'd be lean and jacked. You would have a very high IQ.

You would have emotional discipline. You'd be stoic in the ways that you operated. And on top of that, you'd be a complete gentleman. You'd be making the kind of money you want. You would be able to control your anger and emotions and thoughts and feelings. And above that, you would be massively productive and efficient and structured with your time. However, that's not who we are. We are born as human animals.

You know that. I've told you this before. And as human animals, we are impulsive. We are emotional. We let our feelings control our day-to-day actions, right? We lack willpower. We don't have any impulse control. And because of that, we are no different than a human animal.

And I believe it is by design that we are that way. Think how boring life would be if you were born at your highest form. How boring would life be if you didn't have a journey to go on, the hero's journey of evolving, healing, growing, and becoming the best and highest version of yourself, so that you could find the right spouse, so that you could find the right vocation, career, or opportunity for yourself in terms of financial growth and development, so that you could be a good friend, so that you could be a great dad, right? All these things are a byproduct of personal development. So if you were already born at your highest self, in some ways,

that would be pretty rad. But in reality, the journey is what gives us perspective. The journey is what helps us appreciate the growth because we remember how it was when we were lacking control of our emotions, of our mental state using feelings and our thought patterns to distract us and addicted to vices and alcohol and pornography and social media and drugs and television and video games, right? that is the human animal. And what a great duality we are as humans.

No other animal on the planet knows that they are part animal that's impulsive and runs off feelings and emotions and thoughts and impulse. Yet they have the capacity to be stoic, to be emotionally disciplined, mentally tough, resilient, to be able to respond to a situation instead of. of emotionally react and lash out. That is the difference between the human being and the human animal. And so knowing that we're all born as human animals, the journey then must begin, right? That is what personal development is. It's not showing it off on Instagram. It's not showing it off on YouTube. It's not showing it off to the world, although I see no problem with that.

But where the problem lies is the person who's showing it off on social media is usually doing it for some kind of clout for views, for engagement. They want to get that perfect angle of that booty, right? They want to show off those abs. And I get it, man. I get it. There is a need that we have for approval and validation, for social approval and validation.

There's a need and a desire that we have for people to say, great job or, wow, you're impressive. Gosh, you're in great shape. Gee, look how stoic you are. However, that need in itself is a need that belongs to the human animal. to the impulsive human animal because the human being, the person that rises to his highest self does not need validation and approval from others. That person who has risen to their higher self is simply stoic and realizes that the journey

that I'm on is to heal myself through the traumas that I've experienced, through the traumas that have been maybe passed down through my parents, right? Look, we've all experienced some level of abuse or trauma. It's unfortunate, but that's the human condition. And so if two people are going to at some point find each other in their adult life, build a relationship, get married, move in, start a family, and live happily ever after, those two people must evolve from human animals to human beings. They must connect to higher self.

They must start moving towards their greatest potentiality in the areas of faith, fitness, finances, fulfillment, right, family. And so if you can't communicate well, if you lean towards being passive aggressive, if you are impulsive, if you find that you are leaning into the vices, into your life and ignoring the work that you've got to do, and so you're not making enough money for your family,

and now you're fighting with your spouse. You guys aren't making enough money. Your spouse is trying to figure out how the bills are going to be paid. Now they feel that you're a loser and you feel like they don't understand you. that is all human animal behavior. So where am I going with this?

What personal development is, is a constant seeking out of the higher self by peeling away the layers of human animal. And I think maybe God had a great plan when he said that we are going to be born, essentially, as these undeveloped, emotional, impulsive human animals. To some degree, that comes in handy

when you're a kid, right? When you're a baby and you want food, you don't just go, excuse me, can I have a tit or a bottle with milk in it? No, you start screaming uncontrollably. You start blowing the top off and what happens? Someone wakes up in the middle of the night and a tit makes it to your mouth or a bottle makes it to your mouth. Or when you're a baby and you have a blowout and you just poop yourself, you don't just go, excuse me, can someone change me? I'm a baby after all. No. You start screaming because it's uncomfortable to have shat yourself and someone wakes up and changes you and cleans you up, right? So this need to be very loud and impulsive and emotional and to be, for lack of a better word, even reckless. Think about that baby who becomes a toddler.

Toddlers are pretty reckless. They're brave. They're curious. They just run full speed towards things and hit their head and on a corner or stick their finger in a light socket. or they might jump onto the coffee table and then, you know, elbow drop right onto the carpet and smash their head. Those are all impulsive things. That baby who becomes a toddler, who becomes an adult, if they don't do the personal development, personal growth, they essentially become human adult babies, which really means, and you know this, you probably work with some of them.

Some of you might be married to one, dating one, where you're like, man, this is a man child. This is a adult child I'm dealing with. They're petulant. They're emotional. They're impulsive. They can't stop lying and cheating. You know, they're addicted to all these things. Porn, alcohol, weed, television.

And at some point, you realize, holy shit, I've got an undeveloped human on my hands. Yeah, you may have found something validating in them to fall in love with. And that something validating may have been. the potential that you saw in them. I mean, how often do we see potential in people? Maybe you hire someone for your company and you're like, man, you know, they've got the potential to become a great leader one day in my company. But after 10 years, they ended up firing them. After five years, they ended up firing them because they didn't do the work to reach their fullest potential. And that is what personal development is. Whether in business or in a relationship, friendship,

marriage, doesn't matter. You have to start working towards your highest potential. And then you have to maintain that on a daily basis by doing the things that got you to your highest potential, to your human form, right? A human being is someone that has evolved, is someone who has connected with source, God, is someone who understands and listens to their inner voice, conscience. And a human being is really someone who can put themselves in the shoes of another person. So rather than feeling like you did something to me, And now I'm mad and I'm going to get revenge.

A human being says, wait a minute. Why did they do this? Did they have the intention to screw me? Or were they doing something as a human animal? They were reckless, emotional. They lost mental toughness. They were reckless. And now their actions led to me feeling this certain way, right?

And so what I want to unpack with you guys here is to understand that one out of every three people out there has experienced. some level of abuse. That abuse leaves scars on a human animal. The human animal, as we all start off, must start healing through that abuse. One out of every four people have had sexual abuse. So if we know that one out of every four people have had sexual abuse and one out of every three people have had mental or physical abuse, there's a lot of people walking around that are emotionally, mentally, and physically scarred, right? They're traumatized. They're carrying baggage. They have trust issues. They have issues of self-worth. They have issues where they don't feel lovable. They have issues where they feel broken. I mean, damn, use me as an example. In Armenia, before we immigrated and

came to the United States, when I was between the ages of four and six, I was molested by two older boys. That's not something I talked about. That's not something I could just say. I could just say, on my podcast. That's not something that I could just share from stage. That's not something that I could share with someone in an event. It's only in the recent years, like the recent six, seven years, that I'm able to talk about what happened to me, the sexual abuse that took place and the shame, rage, and confusion it created in me. And the chip I had on my shoulder growing up. And all the way into my late 30s, I hadn't told a single person of what happened to me because I was embarrassed by what happened. I thought that they would look down at me if friends and coworkers and family members

knew what had happened to me. It wasn't until I had a massive panic attack at the age of 38 that led me to go to the doctor and the doctor's like, well, I could put you on Xanax or you can go do talk therapy with the therapist and deal with whatever is brewing up inside you. Frankly, I chose Xanax for about four or five days and after realizing Xanax wasn't for me, I just felt numb. I felt unmotivated. I felt no sense of urgency to get up and work and exercise and do anything. So, you know what? I'm going to have to do talk therapy.

That led me to literally uncovering, working with a therapist for 15 months and uncovering all of the shit that I had buried so deep in me. Because already we're all born as human animals. You're born as someone who is impulsive and operates off of feelings instead of duty and responsibility. So now you take that human animal and they experience abuse and they've got all these mental and emotional scars and you set them free in the world.

And in the absence of personal development, self-mastery, as we talk about here on the show, you end up causing a wake of disaster in your life. If you look at your life today and you're not happy, it's a byproduct of the decisions and the choices that you've made. Big and small decisions and choices. If you are broke right now,

it's a byproduct of the decisions and choices. If you are fat and out of shape, it's a byproduct of your decisions and choices. If your relationship is busted up, it's a byproduct of your decisions and choices. If your bank account is empty, you are in debt, you are overdrawn, you can't figure out how to pay the bills

and make ends meet. It is a byproduct of your decisions and choices that you've made up to this point. It takes a high level of personal development and self-mastery to come to that conclusion to say, it is on me. It is my responsibility. I made these decisions. I chose the easy way.

I chose to buy that when I didn't have the money. I chose to not make that call and get that sale because I chose to go home and watch TV or go to a cocktail party or hang out on the weekend instead of grinding it out and making the monies or changing my life or becoming the higher version of myself or eating clean or meal prepping or get. getting that coach and working out, right? Those are all decisions that you've made. Guys, quick interruption to the Bedroskoolin show. If you want better health, more energy, you want to fight off inflammation, and you want to boost your immune system, then you are probably taking a lot of supplements like I used to.

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50% off. And $1 of every single order goes to Shriners Children's Hospital. So go to truene.com, use code bedroes and order your 30-day supply of the Trulian Everyday Wellness Shot. Now back to the show. Hell, look at the 50% divorce rate. There's a 50% divorce rate. And that tells us that either the husband or the wife, and likely both, came into a relationship, unheeled, undeveloped, lacking self-mastery. And so now two human animals come together and they absolutely destroy this relationship. Sure, there was attraction at the beginning. We both saw the potentiality of one another.

and you can romanticize anything. And so you get married and you start a family. But then there's a 50% divorce rate because no healing work was done. No self-development work was done. And even though you read a book or you did a course or you went to an event, it wasn't done on a consistent basis

over time to override the human animal so that you could rise to consciousness and connect with source, God, and become the best highest version of yourself. And once you're there, guess what happened? you could easily slide back to 1.0 again. So once you go from human animal to human being, in other words,

1.0 to 2.0, you've got to do the self-mastery and maintain it so that you can maintain that position of stoicism, of being a reasonable person, being able to walk a mile in another person's shoes, put yourself into their shoes. But you get two people that didn't do the work

or hardly did the work or at one time did the work, but then slid back to being a human animal. And now we have a 50% divorce rate. And by the way, of the other 50% of couples that are together, I'd say like two thirds of them are unhappy. Two thirds of them are just not divorcing for a multitude of reasons. It's usually money. Like it's going to cost us too much to break up.

Now we have to have two places to live. Now we have to have two separate bank accounts. Right. And so what does that tell us? If we can develop, then we can start. showing grace to others. Then we can take the path of being able to respond instead of react when something happens. Then we can actually create a structured plan for our life and say as much as I want to stay up late, have a couple of cocktails and watch, binge watch my favorite show on TV,

I'm going to do the responsible thing that I've structured out because I've got a business to build. I've got financial freedom to win. I want to take care of the people that I love. and I want to become the best version of myself both physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually and financially. And that means I have to choose purpose over pleasure, duty over desire. It is difficult to do that on a day to day, hour by hour, minute by minute way. However, it's not impossible, right? Now I know what some of you are thinking, but Bezos, I get it.

I get it. It's decisions and choices that I've made that have got me here. And I realize now that we're all born as human animals. It is our job to ascend by doing the self-work, do the healing work, to self-mastery, personal development, and then maintain that through constant, structured life. Bejras, that sounds boring. Well, what's the alternative? To be broke, to be alone, to not be respected, to constantly create chaos and stress

and uncertainty in your life, to be fat and out of shape, to be a horrible example to your kids and the people around you who look up to you, that's the alternative. Sure, it's difficult. Sure, it ain't easy. Sure, it's boring to have structure. But I'll tell you what, as Jocko says, that discipline is freedom. That structure is freedom. That process that you've created out for yourself, where you have non-negotiable.

Like friends, my life revolves around non-negotiables. I will literally pick and choose what I'm going to do, who I'm going to do it with, and I will not compromise for anything. Do I feel like I'm missing out sometimes? Sure. Do I feel like I want to go raise the roof on a weekend? Sure. But I realize the version of myself that I continue to grow to become,

they don't want to raise the roof on the weekends. Just right now in the moment I might want to. to do that. But what's the repercussion of that? I've told you guys a story. Almost three years ago now I stopped drinking. And I stopped drinking because I found that as I got into my late 40s, even one or two cocktails, occasionally I'd wake up a little foggy headed the next morning. I would have heartburn and indigestion. I would be bloated, almost hung over, right? And maybe as I got older, my body just wasn't metabolizing the alcohol better. Now I justified drinking at meat and greets when I would do speaking events.

I would have a cocktail or two right before the meet and greet to take the edge off so that I would use it as social lubricant. Alcohol was my social lubricant. However, as I got older in life, I realized, I don't feel so good in the mornings. Now it's screwing up my workout. It's screwing up my work. It's screwing up the first half of my day. Was it worth it to have a cocktail or two?

to just to take the edge off, just to quote unquote loosen up in exchange for struggling and suffering the next day, the next morning, all the way to one, two, three in the afternoon? It's not. So what did I choose to do? It's like, Pedro's like, Pedro's, like, Pedro. I know you're an introvert, and I know alcohol helps take the edge off when you're at an event, and if you're going to do meet and greet with people, you're a lot more looser when you have a couple of cocktails in you.

However, you're a big boy. use your thoughts, create a structure to be able to connect with people and be comfortable without alcohol in your system. And so I did. I created a process. And that process was really simple. One, I did what Brian Tracy taught many, many years ago, decades ago. Before I go out into the audience, I would just stand in the corner and start jumping up

and down and start going, I like myself, I like myself, I like myself, I like myself. Now, that is such a corny thing to say and do that you can't help but get a shit eating grin on your face and you change your body's chemistry. As Tony Robbins says, the fastest way to change your mental state is to change your physical state. So to go stand in a corner, jump up and down with your eyes closed and loudly say, I like myself, I like myself, I like myself. Guess what? You start feeling very different. And all of a sudden you get dopamine's, you get all these positive feelings about yourself,

you get the shit eating grin on your face, and then you walk out into your meet and greet. Prepared with the three questions that I have, when people would come up to me, even today. This has now been three years. People come up to me, and sometimes they're a little nervous, and they want to take a picture, and they want to thank me, and they don't know how to say it and what to say.

I'm like, hey, how did you hear of me? Like, oh, I follow your podcast or I read your book. Okay, great. Where's home for you? Where are you from? Oh, I'm from Minnesota. Oh, cool. Awesome.

And what brought you out to this event? Oh, because I wanted to, blah, blah, blah. And by that point, I've helped them loosen up, right? Now I've become the social lubricant. But I've got three questions prepared, and I've got a process that I do right before I step out into the meet and greet. And voila, no need for alcohol. So you see how self-development allows you to create a process to work through things.

So if you're like, but I need weed to fall asleep every night, do you? Or can you create a structured process? You can ask chat GPT other than weed weed weed weed. What else can I do to be able to sleep well at night so that I could wake up refreshed in the mornings? And chat GPT might help you come up with the structured process. That, my friend, is the act of self-development. you actually doing that on the daily basis reinforces that within you. And soon, you realize, I've got a better, more healthier process to fall asleep,

stay asleep, and wake up full of energy. Right? But I get it. It's far easier to smoke weed every night, silence the noise, and fall asleep. But if you could silence the noise through a structured morning routine, if you could get discipline, emotional regulation, mental toughness, through actual structured things, you will not need the distractions and the vices and the alcohol and the TV and the pornography and the social scrolling for three hours a day like the average American scrolls three hours a day on social media.

Think what you could do for three hours a day. You could make more money. You could get lean and jacked. You would be leaner than a weener, man. If you could work out and eat right three hours a day, that three hours a day that you're using on social media apply it towards personal development and growth. And then when you're there, maintain it

and make sure you protect it by not letting negative, toxic people who gossip and rumor and do stupid vice-driven shit. Don't let them into your life. And if you can do that, you are now connected to consciousness. You are now the higher self. You have gone from 1.0 to 2.0. So what does self-development look like? From this day forward for the rest of your life, train consistently.

Read books on stoicism. Work with the therapist to overcome your shit. Or read books from great therapists and watch YouTube videos from great therapists who can help you overcome the traumas, the abuse, the shit that you've gone through, whether it's from mom and dad or a school teacher or Uncle Lou touched you the wrong way. What if the fuck happened? You come from a broken relationship, an abusive relationship.

You can heal. But if you go into a new relationship, broken and busted and still with trust issues, still with self-worth issues, then you're going to sabotage that one too, which goes right back to the decisions and choices that you make hour by hour, minute by minute, second by second, which create the outcome where you're at today. So start training in the gym on a consistent basis. Start eating clean on a consistent basis. with the therapist and start doing the self-work, right?

Do hard things. Choose hard over easy. Every day we're given opportunities to choose hard over easy. Here's a great one for you. You're going to go to work. You're going to go to the grocery store. You're going to go to the gym. Go park in the furthest spot in the parking lot and walk into work, the grocery store,

or the gym. You just chose a harder thing over easy, right? A fun game that I play when I go out to like a business dinner with someone. is we'll order the food, the food arrives, and I don't eat until the person across from me takes a bite because I'm playing a game on mental toughness. I'm seeing who's tougher, who's going to last longer, who's going to delay gratification, me or him. The funny thing is the motherfucker across from me has no idea that we're playing this game. So he just grabs his fork and starts plowing and eating food.

And in my head, I'm like, gotcha. Gotcha. you. You see how I'll even take something so benign as a dinner with someone who doesn't even know that we're competing and make it a competition and win? And so then when we're on the mats and jujitsu, it ain't fun. I'm 51 years old. I started jujitsu less than two years ago. And I can tell you with the dudes that I roll with, most of them are higher belts, better skilled, younger than me. But guess what? Can I last 30 more sense? seconds, 60 more seconds. Can I figure out that sweep? Can I get that submission? Holy shit. Maybe for

one out of every five rolls, I get a submission. I'll take it. And I get that tap. And that's a win. What did the other things do? It wasn't a loss. It was a learning experience because I stayed on the mats. And the mats or the gym or the boxing ring or whatever it is that you're going to do in life, that is the battlefield. That is the field that you go out and play on and compete on and test yourself on. And you push yourself and challenge yourself and build resiliency. And in that process, you build a network of like-minded people who are also on that journey of personal development. And now you don't want to let them down.

So you continue to grow. And they continue to grow. And together, the tides raise all ships. You get what I'm saying, right? And all of this is a byproduct of, eating right, training, working out, mental toughness, emotional discipline, reading books on stoicism, doing hard things, making the right decisions and choices, hour by hour, minute by minute.

And when you do, you climb out of that mess that you've created yourself, you heal through the traumas that you have experienced, you become your higher self 2.0 self, and then all a sudden money is attracted to you. You look and feel better. Your relationship blossoms into something special or the next relationship you go into, you don't bring that garbage with you. And that, my friend, is massively empowering, isn't it? And that is truly what personal development is about. By the way, if you guys want me to help you, give you tools, tactics, strategies, I can give it to you for free. Just go to bedroseculion.com. Subscribe for the domination download newsletter. I literally give you the tools, strategies, techniques, everything that's working in my life and in my business.

So with that said, I hope you got a lot out of this episode. Thank you for watching and listening to this episode. Be sure to like and subscribe on YouTube. And above all, remember this, that averages the enemy. Success is your responsibility. And change can take place in an instant if you are willing to flip the switch. I'll see you next time.