Bedros Keuilian Podcast Show - 159. Why Most Men Get Stuck and Lost in Life

Episode Date: October 14, 2025

Most men chase success, validation, or quick escapes but never confront the root of their unhappiness.The truth? You can’t lead, build, or love fully until you heal the wound that started it all.In this episode of The Bedros Keuilian Show, I break down the real reason so many men feel lost, weak, or unfulfilled and how unresolved father wounds silently sabotage your purpose, discipline, and drive. You’ll learn how to stop escaping through vices, reclaim your power, and become the man you were meant to be.If you’ve ever felt stuck, empty, or like you’re living below your potential, this episode will give you the roadmap to rebuild yourself in faith, family, fitness, and finances and finally live with strength, purpose, and conviction.DOMINATION DOWNLOADSTRAIGHT FROM THE DESK OF BEDROS KEUILIANYour weekly no B.S. newsletter to help you dominate in business and in lifehttps://bedroskeuilian.com/MAN UP SCALE BUNDLE: $29 (100% Goes to Charity)Get your Digital Man Up book + Audiobook + 2 Exclusive MASTERCLASSES & Support Shriners Children’s Hospital. https://www.manuptribe.com/limited-offerREGISTER FOR THE LEGACY TRIBEGet the Life, Money, Meaning & Impact You Deservehttps://bedroskeuilian.com/legacytribeJOIN MY FREE 6-WEEK CHALLENGE:Transform into a Purpose-Driven Manhttps://bedroskeuilian.com/challengeTHE SQUIRE PROGRAM: A rite of Passage for Your Son as He Becomes a ManA Father and Son Experience That Will Be Remembered FOREVERhttps://squireprogram.com/registerTruLean Supplements | https://www.trulean.com/pages/bedrosGet 50% Off Trulean Subscribe & Save BundleUse Code: BEDROS Few Will Hunt Apparel | https://fewwillhunt.com/Get 20% Off Your Entire OrderUse Code: BEDROSOPEN A FIT BODY LOCATIONA High-Profit, Scalable Gym Franchise Opportunity Driven By Impacthttps://sales.fbbcfranchise.com/get-started?utm_source=bedrosPODCAST EPISODES:https://bedroskeuilian.com/podcast/STAY CONNECTED:Website | https://bedroskeuilian.com/Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/bedroskeuilian/LinkedIn | https://www.linkedin.com/in/bedroskeuilianTwitter | https://twitter.com/bedroskeuilian

Miserable people are going to get your happiness. Fat people are going to shit your fitness. That's just how it is. Welcome to the Bedroes Coolian show. Back when Q was rolling with Lorenzo and a Benzo. I was banging with a gang and instrumental. This message is for men 25 to 45 years old who are feeling hopeless, unhappy, and lacking purpose in their life. Listen, brother, I know exactly what your problem is.

And better yet, I know exactly how we're going to solve it. Guys, welcome to the Bedrose Cooling Show. Today's episode is to help you get unstuck in life and to live a life of purpose, meaning, and fulfillment. So let's dive right into this. So first, I want to give you guys a little preface, a little story of good old instructor Steve from the project. So instructor Steve, he's a former Marine and he's been our lead instructor for all 20 classes of the project, the modern day and night project that we did. And over five years and 20 classes, as you can imagine, we saw. hundreds of men come through the program, right? And when you're spending 75 hours straight with

them, you get to learn a lot about these men. And we saw a common denominator throughout the project of men who came in and who were dealing with certain issues in life that were really preventing them from having a high level of happiness and joy in their life, from having a high level of hope, and from having a sense of purpose, right? Some of these men were high level entrepreneurs. Others were former military and law enforcement. Others were just kind of run-to-the-mill guys who were working class but felt like there's more for them but didn't know how to get unstuck. And so myself and instructor Steve would have a lot of these conversations after every class kind of almost doing an audit of how the class went, of how the experience was and what we took away from doing all these different project classes, right? And so I got to thinking that there's a formula here.

And Steve one day said it best during a conversation that we had. He said 99% of these guys who come into the project. And he said 99% of the guys who are out there because the project is just a, literally a cross section of men that are out there between that ages of 25 and 45 years old. He said 99% of them have daddy issues. And since they haven't solved their daddy issues, They're constantly leaning into pussy and alcohol. Now, that's how instructor Steve rolls.

And I said, bro, you make a very good point. He's very direct and he's very honest. And that's what I love about him. But he's also very accurate in the way he depicts it. Most men have daddy issues and they end up leaning into alcohol or sex. And you might think that, well, that's not my issue. and I'm here to tell you that you can just replace alcohol with any other form of escapism and you can replace pussy sex with any other form of validation from a woman, which I'll tell

you guys in just a moment. I'm going to break this down and I'm going to give you the solution, right? But first I want to read a post that I put up recently that went viral and it has to do with a weak mindset, right? And I specifically put it up for men because, I just felt called to really put this post out there and speak to men and I could tell that it was something that dudes wanted to hear and needed to hear because it went viral very quickly. And so here's the actual image that I posted up with words on it. It said, a weak man cannot stand alone. Weakness disguises itself with borrowed conviction, with regurgitated slogans and shallow

certainties that are the opinions of others and never their own. And the caption that I wrote here, I want to read to you because I think it's very powerful. A man with a weak mind is poisoned to himself and everyone around him. A man with a weak mind bends to pressure, craves validation, and fears isolation. A man with a weak mind adopts his ideas from those with louder voices, from those he places on a pedestal and sees as authority. A weak-minded man fails himself because he is easily controlled, blindly obedient, and his reality is easily manipulated by those with evil intent. History is filled with preventable strategies,

not perpetrated by evil people, but by weak-minded men who blindly bent when they were persuaded that submission was a virtue. A weak mind rarely knows it's weak. And that will be the downfall of the hollow man who carries that mindset. Gentlemen, the greatest gift you can ever give yourself, your family, and your country is to develop a strong mind, to set higher standards, and to be willing to stand alone in your convictions. This type of man is a rare man. That was the caption. And that went viral for the simple fact.

that most people see that the truth is undeniable. Whether you like it or not is indifferent to me. You might be like, man, I can't believe you're talking to me this way. I can't believe that I resonate with that and I can't believe that you say that I'm weak-minded. You might be. You might be. But I can tell you that it's not your fault. But I will also tell you that it is your responsibility.

And I think this is what we need to break down. So let's dive into this because I'm going to drive the point home very simply and very clearly and then give you the solution to have better hope, happiness, joy, fulfillment, and purpose in your life. Because if you're 25 to 45 years old, my brother, you are the backbone of this country. You are the backbone of your family. You are the guy that we all want to lean on. I'm 51. And as I get older and age out, I get to a place where I have to look at you guys to lead, to take the front, to be.

the gap between good and evil. And if you feel hopeless, unhappy, unfulfilled, and without purpose, you are constantly going to carry a weak mindset that will be easy to bend when evil comes and whispers in your ear. And it's never obvious when evil is around. Go back to 2020 and the pandemic and see how easily grown-ass men became obedient. and bent because they felt that silence was better than standing out and feeling as though they would have to be isolated. There was very few men who were willing to stand up and out and literally speak out against what was happening in 2020 during the pandemic. If you're one of those men, I salute you.

I know I sure was. I was on Fox News four times over the first 60 days of the pandemic. I was adamantly telling all of our FitBody Boot Camp franchise owners to use a healthy sanitation process to sanitize their clients but to still keep training their clients because we need community. We need to work out. We need to stay positive. We need a better immune system and a byproduct of that is fitness and working out in community and being connected with others. It is not isolation. But this isn't about me.

This is about you. And if you're 25 to 45 and you're feeling hopeless and unhappy and without purpose, odds are you're leaning into some kind of vice and escape. And odds are you're also heading towards some kind of validation from the opposite sex. Now, I told you at the project, it was very easy for us to see that daddy issues were the cause of this. Where do these daddy issues come from? Well, you might be part of the 50% of the U.S. population that comes from a divorced family. So maybe physically your dad was absent.

Now, I also know there's plenty of divorced men and women where both the mom and the dad are fully available in that relationship. They're not absent. Even though they're divorced, they're still pouring into those kids. They're connected. But I believe that's a very rare scenario. If you're one of those young men, good for you. That's awesome.

But if you're like most young men who come from a divorced family, dad was probably absent and out of your life, which means that you grew up without the path and the direction that we need to learn from our fathers. Now, sometimes our fathers will set an example for us just by being a cautionary tale. And you end up doing the exact opposite of what your dad did

and you'll end up having a better life. But that doesn't mean that there's not a hole in your heart. John Eldridge in his book, Wild at Heart, talks about the greatest hole in a grown man's heart is the whole due to the absence of his father. And that is a byproduct of your dad not being there for you, of not teaching you the way of men, of not helping you become chivalrous and a gentleman, a savage, and a service. and so you start carrying a chip on your shoulder. You start feeling like you're less than.

You start feeling like you don't belong and that you're undeserving. I get it. I get it. Because while I don't come from a divorced family, I come from a family where my dad, as much as I'm grateful for him for bringing us to this country when I was six years old and we escaped communism, the truth is he didn't interact much in my life.

And because of that, I got into a lot of trouble when I was a young man. I had a chip on my shoulder. I was very angry. I didn't feel like I was molded into a man. I was more like thrown into being an adult male. And I didn't know exactly how to operate that way. I had to learn. And that learning came with the cost, a massive cost.

And so I share this with you because I don't know what level of absence your dad was. Maybe you've never met your dad. Maybe your dad is a byproduct of a divorce, and so you ended up being a byproduct of a divorce. And maybe because of that, your dad rode off into the sunset, and you felt like you never had his love. You were never able to gain his respect, and you were never able to respect him. And therefore, you walk around through life, hurt, feeling broken, unwhole, ashamed, a chip on your shoulder. However it is that you show up,

I can tell you that the thing that you use to fill that vacuum from an absent dad, whether he was physically absent, emotionally absent, mentally absent, because there's plenty of dads who were in the relationship, not divorced, but were absent from the involvement

that they should have had in that young man's life. You might be a byproduct of that. I know I certainly was. And I can tell you that we grow up with a chip on our shoulder. And when this happens, this absence happens and you haven't healed from your dad issues, guess what happens next? You look for ways to escape the pain. Now, my generation and a lot of generations probably 35 plus, alcohol was the thing.

Weed was the thing. Today, if you're in your mid-20s and early 30s, maybe the escapism is not alcohol, but it's still there because you're trying to escape your reality, escape your pain, escape the frustration. And if it's not alcohol, it's weed. If it's not alcohol and weed, it screens. Maybe it's your phone. Maybe it's video games for hours. Maybe it's watching television and sports teams to escape. the realities of your life, the pain and the frustration, and the fact that you missed out on a

father and son experience? I get it, man, and I'm sorry that happened to you. And while it's not your fault, it is your responsibility to do something about it. Because whether you escape through alcohol, weed, screens like social media, TV, video games, it doesn't matter. The problem is you're escaping your reality. You are not living in reality. You are numbing the pain. You are avoiding the work that needs to get done. That is what these vices do. They make you avoidant.

They force you to escape. And in the moment, it feels good because it takes the edge off. But what happens when you sober up? What happens when you look at your bank account? You realize all this wasted time on the screens could have gone towards filling up that bank account. And maybe, just maybe, you're married and you have a right. responsibility of a wife and kids, or maybe you have a business and your business is just kind of floundering along and you know that it could do better. But you never connected the dots

that your daddy issues are causing you to escape your realities. Waste time, feel unworthy, feel broken, feel undeserving. That is a byproduct of dad issues. Because the dad's role in a young man's life is very powerful. But it's not just the escapism. It is the validation that you also look for. Because when there is a vacuum, any place, it must get filled with something. And while the alcohol, weed, screens are great for escaping and solve the pain temporarily, only to magnify the pain later when you sober up and see the realities of life,

there's the validation factor. And this is why instructor Steve said alcohol and pussy are the byproduct of men with daddy issues. Hey guys, quick interruption to the Bedros-Coolian show. Listen, if you're like me and you love fitness, you love helping people, and you love being an entrepreneur, you might want to open up a Fit Body Boot Camp gym.

Doesn't matter what day of the week, what time the session is, Fit Body Boot Camp locations are full of clients getting amazing results. With hundreds of locations across the United States and Canada, we are helping people burn fat and build muscle while helping entrepreneurs like you develop business models that are successful and have recurring revenues. So if you think FitBody Boot Camp might be a great business model for you, then I want you to go to FitBody Bootcamp.com. I want you to click the franchising link, fill out the application to see if there's a territory available in your town. in your area and who knows if you're a good fit we will invite you to the fit body boot camp family now back to the show men that have daddy issues will will escape through alcohol and seek validation from the opposite sex in the form of sex but again that's like drinking from a well that pumps out salt water yes it's

water but the more you drink it the thirstier you get you understand this right If you've ever read Outwitting the Devil by Napoleon Hill, he says that the devil will take control and compliance of your mind through many different vices, alcohol, television, news media, even institutions such as schools and churches, and even the opposite sex. Literally, a book that was written in 1932 talks about how too much sex in the form of sexual validation is another form of escape. And why is that? Well, think about this. As young boys, who did you look up to as a little baby, right? Who came to your rescue?

Who did you want to impress most? Your mom? Your mom, right? When you had a problem, you're hungry. You go to mom. You're thirsty. You go to mom. You need to be cleaned. You go to mom. And so what do we do? We fall in love with mom. And metaphorically, what ends up happening is we put ourselves in a position where we literally end up looking for mom figures as adults. But now, where mom used to give you validation as a young boy, good boy, you're doing awesome.

I'm so proud of you. The validation you look for as a grown man, is through sexual satisfaction. And you can see how this could be a massive vice. Right? And so whether the escape is a vice and the validation shows up as sex or today for your generation, all you younger ones in your 20s and early 30s, you're like, well, I'm not out there banging chicks. No, but how much time are you spending on porn sites? How much time are you spending on only fans?

How much time are you spending on looking at chicks on social media? For the only reason that you follow them is not for their intellectual abilities, but their ability to sexually arouse you. You may have not thought of that, but that is the reality. Because when you haven't dealt with your daddy issues, you haven't solved through that, you end up escaping through alcohol, drugs, screens. and you end up also seeking the validation because you want to feel good because your father left a hole in your heart

that you try and fill through validation from a woman. And as an adult, you look for the sexual satisfaction and validation, whether it's from a real live woman or from pornography, from only fans, or from chasing booty chicks on social media. Listen, man, I get it. That's the pain. That's the frustration.

And I said, it's not your fault. Dad was absent. He neglected you. Maybe you've never seen him. Maybe once the divorce happened, he left. Or maybe dad was around and he was absent mentally and emotionally. Never took interest in you. And that is a big hole that's left in your heart.

And it is not your fault. But I'll say again, it is absolutely your responsibility to fix. Otherwise, you will keep falling into the trap of the vices and the validation. And you will escape and try and validate through a salty, watered well that will never quench your thirst, ever. So how do we fix this? Understand, first of all, what I've been saying over and over again here, which is that it is not your fault that that happened to you. I'm sorry that happened to you. I'm sorry you were abandoned. that you were neglected, it breaks my heart, and in many ways I can relate.

However, while it wasn't your fault, it is your responsibility. So you have to first take responsibility that I now have to level up and I have to love myself. I have to become the father that I wanted and needed and did not have. And you can do that. Everything that a father could have taught you, you can learn. You can learn by putting yourself around other men. even as a grown-ass man you could do that. First of all, let me recommend some books.

Two books I would recommend immediately is John Eldridge's book, Wild at Heart, and also Jack Donovan's book, The Way of Men. These two books will help you massively, massively, in understanding what you need to do to raise yourself, to raise your inner child, into a healthy, strong, capable, confident man who does not lean into escapism or validation. And when you read these books, you now have to execute because now we've accepted that it's your responsibility

to become a healthy man, a great husband, a great leader, an awesome father, a father who leads by example and not to become a cautionary tale, not to repeat what your dad did to you. That is your responsibility, to not repeat what your dad did to you. And the next step might be then to raise your standards of what a man is.

It is not to just provide for your family and just to get by. No, it is to have integrity. It is to have core values. It is to have character. It is to be the man that you say you are on social media, even behind closed doors when no one is watching. To have the work ethic, to have the grit, to have the emotional discipline, and the mental toughness that is required

to be a man in today's society, to be a savage and a servant. And if you raise those standards and you hold yourself to those standards and disciplines, you'll start working out regularly. You'll start eating clean regularly. You'll start leaning into the work that is more purpose-driven. Work that does not just give you a quick dopamine hit. like scrolling social media, porn sites, only fans, booze, screens, weed. Those are all quick dopamine hits.

You'll start leaning into work that delivers serotonin. Serotonin, the long form of feeling good, of fulfillment, meaning purpose. And that means doing work, actually building something. It might require you physically building something. It might require you building a business. And if you have a career or a job, it might require you to build your department into the most profitable, into the most efficient department that company has. But men must build.

We are builders. And in the absence of building, we go right into self-destruction. You need to understand that as well. If a man is not building himself, his family, his community, his business, the department that he works in, he will immediately go into self-destruction. And that's what you may have been doing, right? You're like, holy fuck, this guy's speaking to me. So the third step is to start forgiving your dad.

You got to forgive this guy. Don't forget what happened, but forgive and move on. Because if you keep holding on to this, it is like trying to better yourself and reach these higher standards that you've set for yourself in terms of fitness, mindset,

emotional discipline, being a better husband, father, friend, leader, getting fit and eating right, all while carrying a bag of fucking heavy bricks over your shoulder. It's going to be infinitely harder when you carry this bag of weight, of anger, of resentment. That's the chip on your shoulder. And when you walk around through life with this bag of anger and resentment towards your father, you're never going to accomplish anything meaningful, no matter how many podcasts you read, or no matter how many podcasts you listen to and books you read. That's the reality of it. And so if you can't forgive, then you're only harming yourself. This doesn't mean that you should go and start a relationship if you guys are estranged. If you're estranged, stay estranged.

I'm a big believer in editing and eliminating people out of your life. People who do not align with your core values, people who are not congruent with the man that you want to be, you should either eliminate or edit. What's the difference? Great question. I'm glad you asked. Eliminating someone out of your life is breaking complete contact in all ways. Editing someone out of your life is limiting exposure in terms of time, in terms of proximity, in terms of your goals and dreams and ambitions that you share with that person. because they might be toxic.

They might be time vampires, energy vampires. They might be naysayers and doubters, not because they don't want the best for you, but because they operate from a place of scarcity and fear. And if they operate from a place of scarcity and fear and you're trying to share your fucking dreams and goals with them, that ain't ever going to happen. That ain't ever going to happen.

They're not going to be like, yeah, man, I believe in you. Go out there, take the risks. No. They're going to tell you to slow. down, watch out, be careful. What if you fail? And then you're going to be like, man, this fucking person is so toxic in my life. It might be your mom and dad. It might be your brother and sister. It might be someone close enough to you where you feel that you can't eliminate out of your life, although I'm pretty ruthless and I've eliminated pretty close people out of my life.

But if you can't eliminate, then you better edit. Limit exposure. Limit what you tell them. Limit the amount of time you see them. Limit the amount of influence they have over your life. that is editing. And if you're able to do this, then the last and final step is for you to have a routine, a routine that is set for winners. And what do winners do? They focus on the four F bombs. Faith, faith in a higher power and faith in yourself.

Family and your family could be the people that you chose, the woman that you chose to marry and the family that you started, or the family that you have acquired. and built around you, friends, coworkers, people who share common dreams and goals. Faith, family, your fitness, physical fitness. Get lean, get jacked, eat right, work out consistently. But also your mental emotional fitness. Develop emotional discipline where you no longer react to things, but you thoughtfully respond as a disciplined man and mental toughness so that you can be resilient and persevere

through any challenge that is set forth because you were a man who knows how to push forward through adversity. How do you do that? By keeping the promises that you make to yourself. If you say you're going to wake up and work out, you go wake up and work out. You're going to eat right all day. You're going to make 20 sales calls today. You make 20 sales calls today.

You're going to put up a post and, and try and stimulate leads for your business, you better put that post up and stimulate leads. Don't be afraid. Don't be shy. Don't worry about what people will think because people are going to judge you and think something about you no matter what.

You know this. You know this. Miserable people are going to shit on your happiness. Fat people are going to shit on your fitness. That's just how it is. So if you think you're going to make everybody happy, you're not. So go out there and put your best.

work out, my friend. You get that, right? And when you do, you've got your fitness, your family, your faith, and finally your finances. Go and make money. A man that could produce money is the modern day version of hunting today. The men that had the highest value back in the caveman days were men who could go out and hunt and bring back food, right? Who could who could who could develop something, a weapon, a trap to capture animals or kill animals, drag them back to the cave, grunt and say, woman, cook. That was a high value man then. Today, a man who can produce money, not just barely get by with low standards of living,

compromising your way through life, negotiating on what you're going to spend money on. God forbid you go on a date because you're afraid of what the bill will be. No, develop skills. Develop skills that are in high demand. Develop skills that solve problems for people. Find ways to add such great value to humanity that people will pay for it. And then market the fuck out of it and sell it so that you can make an obscene amount of money so that you could do a lot of good with that money.

Because that money will serve humanity. That money will help people that you love. That money will give you a higher quality of life. That money will be there to create security and safety, to create freedom, to create experiences. Because what do you have? At best 80 to 90 to 100 years on this planet? Don't you want to have the best quality of life?

Or do you want to constantly complain and be a victim about how daddy hurt you? Daddy left. Daddy wasn't there. Daddy was absent. Daddy was negligent. Daddy didn't care. Who cares? Become your own daddy.

Become your own father. Become the man that you needed in your life. That is the greatest gift you can give yourself. And when you do, you will level up in faith, family, fitness, and your finances. And when you do that, you become a fucking weapon, fellas. You become a deadly weapon. You become an example. for humanity. Your kids will respect you. You will leave your fingerprint on this planet long after

you're gone because you need to understand this, that the average man inspires no one. And so you've got to be extraordinary, my friend. There's plenty of room for you to do that. But you've got to let go of the victim mindset and start healing your heart. Otherwise, you will constantly lean into escapes and validation for, sexual satisfaction, both of which are an empty, salty well. Gentlemen, I hope you got a lot of value from this episode. If you did, I ask that you leave a comment, like and subscribe if you're on YouTube because 74% of you watching this are not subscribed.

And if you will do me a favor and share this across your social media platforms, it would mean a lot to me because I want to help and serve more men who are feeling stuck in life and who deserve the opportunity to get unstuck to. to heal and live a life of hope, happiness, and purpose. But above all, remember this, that averages the enemy. Success is your responsibility and change can take place in an instant if you are willing to flip the switch. I'll see you next time.

What's the different? Back when Q was rolling with Lorenzo and a Benzo, I was banging with a gang of instrumental.