Bedros Keuilian Podcast Show - 162. The 3 Toxic Traits Destroying Men from Within

Episode Date: November 4, 2025

Most men think their downfall comes from stress, money, or bad luck. That’s the lie.The truth? The real war is happening inside you.In this episode of The Bedros Keuilian Show, I expose the three poisons destroying men from the inside out: lust, rage, and greed. These are the same forces ancient philosophers warned about, and I’ve seen them take down thousands of men over the last twenty years.You’ll see how lust kills discipline, confidence, and intimacy… how rage destroys relationships, reputation, and judgment… and how greed poisons purpose until nothing ever feels like enough. Then I’ll show you how to fight back with self-mastery, restraint, patience, and contentment; the traits that make men powerful, grounded, and respected.If you’ve been feeling stuck in guilt, anger, or endless comparison, this episode is your wake-up call.Because real strength isn’t domination, it’s discipline over desire.DOMINATION DOWNLOADSTRAIGHT FROM THE DESK OF BEDROS KEUILIANYour weekly no B.S. newsletter to help you dominate in business and in lifehttps://bedroskeuilian.com/MAN UP SCALE BUNDLE: $29 (100% Goes to Charity)Get your Digital Man Up book + Audiobook + 2 Exclusive MASTERCLASSES & Support Shriners Children’s Hospital. https://www.manuptribe.com/limited-offerREGISTER FOR THE LEGACY TRIBEGet the Life, Money, Meaning & Impact You Deservehttps://bedroskeuilian.com/legacytribeJOIN MY FREE 6-WEEK CHALLENGE:Transform into a Purpose-Driven Manhttps://bedroskeuilian.com/challengeTHE SQUIRE PROGRAM: A rite of Passage for Your Son as He Becomes a ManA Father and Son Experience That Will Be Remembered FOREVERhttps://squireprogram.com/registerTruLean Supplements | https://www.trulean.com/pages/bedrosGet 50% Off Trulean Subscribe & Save BundleUse Code: BEDROS Few Will Hunt Apparel | https://fewwillhunt.com/Get 20% Off Your Entire OrderUse Code: BEDROSOPEN A FIT BODY LOCATIONA High-Profit, Scalable Gym Franchise Opportunity Driven By Impacthttps://sales.fbbcfranchise.com/get-started?utm_source=bedrosPODCAST EPISODES:https://bedroskeuilian.com/podcast/STAY CONNECTED:Website | https://bedroskeuilian.com/Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/bedroskeuilian/LinkedIn | https://www.linkedin.com/in/bedroskeuilianTwitter | https://twitter.com/bedroskeuilian

So I'm telling you this, that a man who cannot control and temper his anger is truly a weak man. Welcome to the Bedros Koolian show. Back when Q was rolling with Lorenzo and a Benzo, I was banging with a gang and instrumental. These are the three things that are destroying men from the inside out. Guys, welcome to the Bedros Koolin show. My name is Bedros Kulian. Today's episode is about the three things that are destroying men from the inside out. In fact, as I was doing the research on these three things,

I realized that it was something that the ancient philosophers called the three poisons of men. And so it just happened to end up that way because I've discovered these three things just through my life experience and working with men, literally thousands of men, over the last 20 years. And what I found is these three things will destroy you from the inside out and all of them show up as not that big a deal. but very quickly they could erode and destroy you from the inside out so much so that ancient philosophers called them the three poisons. So thing number one, poison number one is lust, which is really uncontrolled desire, right? When you have uncontrolled desire, it will lead to self-destruction because it leads to addiction. Lust will lead to addiction. Lust will lead to lack of self-control, lust will lead to weakness and willpower, lust will override discipline,

lust ruins relationships, it erodes confidence and self-worth, and lust will chain a man to impulse instead of purpose, right? And lust shows up in terms of pornography, in terms of prostitution, only fans, whatever your source of the opposite sex is. It will absolutely destroy if you can't get a handle and control on it. And I know in the comments in YouTube, and I know YouTube's going to blow up right now when I talk about this, some people say,

well, a little bit of porn is just like, you know, just decompression time for me. I've got absolute control over it. I'm here to argue that you don't. I'm here to argue that you don't. Because what's being depicted in that porn anyway

are things that are unrealistic. So if you're in a relationship, what you're seeing in porn is something that you can't even likely experience with your spouse, with your honey. And so that starts setting false expectations for you anyway. And there's already a thing called porn induced impotence, right? Porn induced erectile dysfunction. And these are young men in their 20s and early 30s getting this because they're seeing

such a high level of pornography that is so massively graphic. that they are being desensitized to real human intimacy, which is just really sad and unfortunate. And so if you can get a control of the lust, if a man can get control of lust, by the way, these are all factory-installed things in us. Don't think for a minute there's something wrong with you. The three things I'm going to share with you here,

they're all factory-installed. They are what drive men. However, when out of control, that's why what is lust, it's uncontrolled desire, right? If you can control desire, then great. But uncontrolled desire is absolutely destructive for you. And so moving on, uncontrolled rage, rage and anger. You might be one of those people, you go, man, when I see red, I just like, when I get angry, I see red and that's it, it's over.

It's bodies everywhere or everyone gets it. Or I just start tearing people up and I get mad and upset and I let people have. it all right to what cost right because rage and anger again not controlled not channeled is massively self-destructive it damages relationships right it erodes your reputation it weakens your judgment when you're someone that flies off the handle easily and you feel disrespected you feel like this is the only way you can get your message across is through rage and anger, very quickly you begin to erode relationships and damage your reputation. And it weakens your judgment because it will also cause long-term regret in you.

Because you've never said anything in rage or anger that you later felt like, huh, I'm really glad I said that. You know, that was a very stoic and meaningful thing I said. Usually things we say in anger or rage are things that we end up regretting and things that end up causing long-term damage to a relationship, right? And so it's super important to understand where this might come from. You may have seen somebody in power when you were younger. And that person that had power or respect or was in a leadership position also had a anger and rage problem. And so your young brain may have connected the dots that someone who has respect and

control and power must be angry and full of rage. And so you grow up that way. Or it may be one of those things where as you're growing up, you've experienced abuse, someone who was lording over you. Maybe your dad. Maybe someone who was in a leadership position was abusive, physically, mentally, emotionally, verbally. And so you've now begun to carry that with you. And now you begin to disseminate it to others. When you feel out of control, when you feel disrespected, when you feel like people don't understand you, you quickly go to rage and anger. This might happen in your relationship. This might happen in a business partnership. This might happen in a friendship. This might happen on the road, road rage. And we've seen enough videos on social media

with what happens with idiots who road rage out and end up getting arrested, going to jail, shot, killed, whatever, right? So I'm telling you this, that a man who cannot control and temper his anger is truly a weak man. It's a man who is emotionally limping, who must resort to aggression and verbal anger and sometimes even physical anger because they lack the ability to communicate their needs and desire. And when you are that guy, you are laughed at. Behind your back, everyone's laughing at you. You've lost a respect of others and you will never gain it back unless you go and you actively apologize, make things right. And then over a long period of time, over years, prove through your actions, through your deeds, through your words, that you're a different man. So temper your rage

and anger, fellas. And the third poison is greed, uncontrolled ambition. Gride creates an endless sense of dissatisfaction and anxiety. Makes men slowly slide into unethical behavior and corruption. You think about all these white-collar crimes. Everyone started off with the best of intention. I'm going to create a business. It's going to do a lot of good. But slowly but surely, they crossed us unethical boundary and their behaviors changed. They began more corrupt. Greed will do that because it is uncontrolled ambition. There's nothing wrong with being ambitious.

I'm the guy that tells you. Be ambitious. Be driven. Make a lot of money. Do a lot of good with it. Oversack the amount of money that you need because you never know if your family, your spouse's family, a friend's family might need help or support. You want to donate to your church or a charity that you believe in or a

cause that is meaningful to you, you need money to do that. But don't cross that line of unethical behavior and corruption. Because once you go into that place where now you see it as a competition, I must acquire more, I must have more, I must beat that guy. You notice that you're not doing it for purpose, service, and value anymore. You're doing it because I've got to show off. I've got to have bigger status. I need more. things, I've got to win. And I'm a big fan of winning, but not at the cost of losing my integrity, not at the cost of losing my character and not at the cost of losing my values. And so greed, which is uncontrolled ambition, does create an endless sense of dissatisfaction and anxiety.

It creates unethical behavior and corruption in men. And really, it starts creating this comparison syndrome where instead of purpose and service, begin to compare yourself and you're chasing a unsatisfiable end because there's always someone, as Grant Cardone one said, who's going to have a bigger plane or more planes or more mansions or a bigger mansion who's going to have a higher net worth. And so if you can control your lust, rage, and greed, you'll find yourself living a life of purpose, service, values, you're more respected, and best of all, you have peace of mind. Hey guys, quick interruption to the Vedderos-Coolian show. Listen, if you're like me and you love

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good fit, we will invite you to the Fit Body Boot Camp family. Now back to the show. Now, if you're wondering, dude, how do I control lust? How do I control greed? How do I control my rage, and anger. Well, let's talk about that because I think there is a solution to it because these things are factory installed when we're young. We need these things to give us that edge to go out and compete and get after it. But left unchecked and uncontrolled, it will be massively self-destructive. So how do you overcome the poisons of lust, anger, and greed? Well, step one is self-mastery, right? You got to start doing the self-work. If you've been abused, physically, sexually, emotionally, mentally,

you got to start working with the therapist. You got to start journaling. You got to start writing, reading books, self-help books, and healing through the traumas that you've experienced. Because self-mastery teaches you to temper these things that you might even use as an escape. Lust is oftentimes used by men that are damaged and broken, emotionally, mentally, physically as a way to escape their realities.

right as a way to get validation as a way to feel good momentarily but then to feel guilt and regret later and so self-mastery is the key like you've got to be an observer of your urges without acting on them think about this if you have the urge to freak out at someone can you stop for a moment to hire yourself within stop for a moment and go whoa whoa whoa I'm a about to freak out at someone. I'm about to yell or say something stupid or profanity that I can't take back or even worse get physical with someone. Let me stop and observe where is this coming from. What do I feel? Do I feel insulted? Do I feel disrespected? Do I feel unheard? Do I feel not understood? Odds are it's a byproduct of one of those. Self-mastery, meaning understanding

yourself, figuring your shit out, healing from the things that caused the trust. traumas that make you feel this way. Unheard, disrespected, you know, not understood. That doesn't give you the authority to freak out at someone.

It doesn't. You look like a clown. You look like a joker. You become this guy that everyone laughs at and no one respects. And you certainly wouldn't want that. So you actually get the opposite result when you lose your shit.

because your reputation is now permanently tarnished. Same with, by the way, where lust is concerned. It's a very impulsive move. A man must have impulse control. If you don't have impulse control, you're more childlike. That's why I say lust and rage and greed are all things that come to us as men when we're young boys, even teenagers. But at some point you have to temper them. You have to control them.

And when you have this feeling of lust, oh, I want her. Oh, I want to get on some some porn site and drop my pants and my ankles and just rub one out for the next 30 minutes. Like, what the fuck are you doing? What are you doing? You're literally acting like a human animal. Like that is the most lowest self there is. The higher self would stop and say, why am I feeling this urge? Am I stressed?

Do I not feel love and connection in my life? What is going on with me that I want to do this? If you just take a brief moment to stop and observe the urges without acting on them and try and process through what you're feeling and why you're feeling, this is how you become the higher self. This is how a nice guy becomes a good man. You get what I'm saying? And self-mastery, by the way, isn't just therapy and reading books and journaling.

It's exercising. It's meditation. It's martial arts. I mean, get on the mats or get in the ring. Get some jujitsu in every week. Get in a ring and start boxing or learning muta. And when you do, it is a very humbling experience. Your aggression that you have could be very beautifully demonstrated in the ring or

the mats. Therefore, allowing you to be a better human, more stoic, more understanding, more peaceful outside of the combat ring. Not to mention whether you're on the mats or in the ring, you're going to get humbled. You're going to get choked. You're going to get submitted. You're going to get punched in the face. And that is very humbling. And as a very beautiful metaphor for life to remind you that you might get angry out there in life and rage out at someone, but someone else could end up punching you in the face, could end up choking you out. And the prospect of that does not seem good, does it?

And so you begin to actually control yourself and become more stoic. Instead of reacting, you now take a minute to pause and then you respond in a grown-ass way. And so if you cannot override lust and rage and greed, it will always have its claws in you and you will always feel like you're white knuckling through life. I can't tell you how many men I've talked to over the years who have gone through this issue where they're either cheating on their spouse or just digesting so much pornography that they don't feel they're moving their life forward, their purpose forward, they feel shame, they feel guilt, they feel regret.

And all of those are such low vibrational, low frequency feelings that how are you ever going to do anything meaningful in life, purpose driven in life? How are you ever going to be a great husband, a great father, a great friend, a great leader when you're just so low vibrational? And if you're like, yeah, but you should see my relationship and it sucks and, you know, it's not the same and blah, but guess what? Get out of it. Get out of it.

You could get out of it. And if you don't, then you're choosing to be in a relationship that is not right for you and you're hurting that person as you're hurting yourself in your future through the guilt and the shame and the regret that you're feeling. Not a good thing, right? So here's the bottom line, guys. If you're struggling with lust, focus on love, restraint, and connection. That's it. Lust is what? It's uncontrolled desire. So start taking control. If you're struggling with lust, focus on love, connection, and restraint. It's good for you. Like what do we do as men? We put ourselves

through hardship. At least we should, right? Maybe that hardship shows up as fasting for three days. Maybe it's consistently working out seven days a week. Maybe it's setting a goal and achieving a goal that most people couldn't achieve, whether it's an athletic goal or a financial goal. But we put ourselves through hardship. Lust is the easy way out. It's the easy way out. And we never choose easy. Now, if you're struggling with anger, focus on compassion and patience. A compassionate and patient man cannot also be angry at the same time. If you are dealing with anger, it's because you're being selfish and you're feeling a certain way, disrespected, unheard, misunderstood, and you're lashing out.

See, that's a selfish thing because you're feeling a certain way. But if you start thinking about what can I do for the other person, can I show compassion and patience and understanding, there's no way a compassionate, patient, understanding man could also be angry. Because not everyone's out there to disrespect you, to misunderstand you, and to not hear you properly. But it's the baggage that you're carrying that makes you feel that way. And if you're struggling with greed, I want you to focus on generosity and contentment.

Ask yourself, what is enough? What is enough? At some point, we want to get to a point where, look, we're financially secure. We've paid off our debts. We've won back some time so that we can have security for our family. We can have better experiences in life. But if you find yourself constantly in the state of anxiety and dissatisfaction, because you've got to get to the next milestone, to the next milestone, to the next milestone,

while your kids are getting older, while your spouse feels lonely, while all these trips and experiences that you wanted to have, keep going by and you don't have them. All for what? For acquiring things to be able to show off to people who don't even give a fuck about you. That's the reality. And so if you're struggling with greed, I want you to focus on generosity. How can I serve others?

Focus on contentment. What is enough for me? What am I content with? And by the way, I want you to build. I want you to build. Man, I'm grateful for the properties that I own, the buildings that I own, the companies that I own and operate, the teams that I have. I'm grateful for all of that.

And I could have so much more, but it would be at a cost of neglecting the people that I love, and I'm not willing to pay that price. So I've got enough. I've got enough. And if you don't know what enough looks like, you're going to constantly chase the dragon. And that is a painful thing to chase. Guys, thank you so much for watching this episode of the Bedros Koolian show.

If you want to get access to my free domination download newsletter that gets emailed to you every single Sunday with strategies on leadership, growth in business, and in your personal life, go to bedrosculein.com and subscribe there. It's absolutely free. Cost you nothing. If you're watching this on YouTube, understand that 47, no, 74% of you are not subscribed. Please do me a favor and subscribe and leave a comment down below to help the algorithms. And then always remember this, that averages the enemy.

Success is your responsibility. And change can take place in an instant if you are willing to flip the switch. I'll see you next time.