Bedros Keuilian Podcast Show - 164. 9 Lessons Every Dad should Teach his Son

Episode Date: November 18, 2025

Most men want to raise strong, confident sons but you can’t teach what you never learned yourself.The truth? A young man doesn’t become disciplined, resilient, or honorable by accident. He becomes that way because his father intentionally gives him the tools, the standards, and the values that shape his character.In this episode of The Bedros Keuilian Show, I break down the nine foundational lessons every dad must pass down the same lessons we teach inside the Squire Program to forge young men into leaders. You’ll learn why optimism is power, why a man’s word is his contract, why promises matter, and how protecting others (and yourself) builds real confidence.Most importantly, you’ll discover how your own behavior, discipline, and reputation become the blueprint your son inherits.If you want to raise a son who’s strong, capable, honorable, and grounded in purpose — this episode gives you the exact roadmap to lead him there.THE SQUIRE PROGRAM: A rite of Passage for Your Son as He Becomes a ManA Father and Son Experience That Will Be Remembered FOREVERhttps://squireprogram.com/registerDOMINATION DOWNLOADSTRAIGHT FROM THE DESK OF BEDROS KEUILIANYour weekly no B.S. newsletter to help you dominate in business and in lifehttps://bedroskeuilian.com/MAN UP SCALE BUNDLE: $29 (100% Goes to Charity)Get your Digital Man Up book + Audiobook + 2 Exclusive MASTERCLASSES & Support Shriners Children’s Hospital. https://www.manuptribe.com/limited-offerREGISTER FOR THE LEGACY TRIBEGet the Life, Money, Meaning & Impact You Deservehttps://bedroskeuilian.com/legacytribeJOIN MY FREE 6-WEEK CHALLENGE:Transform into a Purpose-Driven Manhttps://bedroskeuilian.com/challengeTruLean Supplements | https://www.trulean.com/pages/bedrosGet 50% Off Trulean Subscribe & Save BundleUse Code: BEDROS Few Will Hunt Apparel | https://fewwillhunt.com/Get 20% Off Your Entire OrderUse Code: BEDROSOPEN A FIT BODY LOCATIONA High-Profit, Scalable Gym Franchise Opportunity Driven By Impacthttps://sales.fbbcfranchise.com/get-started?utm_source=bedrosPODCAST EPISODES:https://bedroskeuilian.com/podcast/STAY CONNECTED:Website | https://bedroskeuilian.com/Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/bedroskeuilian/LinkedIn | https://www.linkedin.com/in/bedroskeuilianTwitter | https://twitter.com/bedroskeuilian

Never sacrifice trust and loyalty at the cost of your reputation. Understand that your reputation with another man is everything. Welcome to the Bedros Koolian show. Back when Q was rolling with Lorenzo and a Benzo, I was banging with a gang and instrumental. Nine lessons that every dad should teach his son. Guys, welcome to the Bedros Kulian show. My name is Bedros Kulian, and today I've got nine lessons that every dad should teach his son. These are lessons that we've extracted from the Squire program that we run,

which is a father and son, right of passage experience. We run it across six different countries. By the way, if you've never been to the Squire program, you've got a son who's 13 to 17 years old and you want to come, just go to Squireprogram.com and you can see the dates and locations. It's an awesome life-changing experience and a very bonding experience as well. But these nine lessons we've extracted, I've extracted from the Squire program,

some of the lessons that we teach. And at the end of these nine lessons, guys, I'm going to give you four books that I recommend reading as a dad to help usher your son into manhood. And this is like literally books that you could start reading if your son is a baby, right? One of these books I read when my son, Andrew, who's now 20, was in the womb. So understand that these four books I'm going to give you at the end are going to be equally as valuable as the nine lessons I'm about to drop. So without further ado, let's get started.

Lesson number one, energy and optimism is contagious and attractive. I've known this for a long time personally, but I've also. known that for a man especially the energy that you carry and the optimistic mindset that you carry is very contagious and attractive to the people around you think about it as a man as you grow up right you're going to teach your son this that as a man when you grow up and some of you men probably need to hear this yourself as you grow up as you get into the world you are going to need allies you are going to need people to be a part of your tribe because no man should be a lone wolf the lone wolf does not survive the wolf pack survives and thrives

And so if you want to build a community, a tribe, a network of really influential dudes who can help you and make connections for you and be part of your community and tribe, then you need to always focus on having positive energy and a optimistic attitude. And if you do this, you're going to be contagious and attractive. Conversely, if you've got this like low frequency and you're pessimistic, right, where you're just, negative, you doubt things, you live in a life of uncertainty, you are going to repel good people and attract other losers into your life. And you got to let your son know this because life is cruel. Life is hard, life is difficult and to have allies that have great energy and a positive mental attitude are going to be very, very influential and valuable to that young man's life. Lesson number two, listen more than you speak because listening will sharpen your judgment.

This is a very powerful lesson for children and some grown men need to hear this. Like God gave you two ears and one mouth for a reason. Listen more, speak less. Because when you listen, you will start gaining facts and information you need to have better judgment, better decision-making capability, right? But oftentimes when we're listening, we're listening with our emotions and our mouth wants to take over because when our emotions are doing the listening, We tend to want to lash out and defend ourselves. We want to lash out and defend our point or perspective. So we're not really listening.

We're just waiting to talk. So if you could teach your son to listen more, to be an active listener, to actually hear the other person out, make them feel heard and understood. And when you listen people out, you will very quickly be able to make sharper decisions and have better judgment. Some of that might be just hearing someone out over a period of time and realizing, wait a minute, if this person wants to be my business partner and they're acting this way and they're inconsistent with the things they're saying, what I'm listening tells me that they're not

going to make a good business partner even if they are actively saying that they will. So there's been plenty of times that I've paid attention, listened so much to someone because if you listen long enough, people will expose who they are and you can make the better judgment or decision and decide whether you're going to have a relationship with them in business or friendship or whatever or not, right? Number three, lesson number three, never beg or grovel for respect. Earn it. No man should ever beg or grovel for respect.

And to that point, you should never put another man on the pedestal. You should never be like, oh yeah, that guy's the man. That guy's the goat. Guess what? You're the man. You're the goat. And if you're not, become that man, become the goat. I don't understand.

And maybe I just come from a generation or a back. background where I'm different. I don't know, but I don't understand how a grown man could wear another man's name on his back. I really don't. I don't understand how a grown man could wear another man's name on his back, whatever sports team it might be, where you know that man's number, you know that man's stats in his sport, you know everything that they do, you know when they started, you know what teams they played for, you know when they're about to retire. Yet you don't know your own spouses needs and wants. You don't know your kids. needs and wants. You don't remember specific dates like birthdays and and anniversaries and things that are

supposed to be valuable and meaningful in your life and a relationship, right? And I share that with you because a man who is groveling and looking for someone else's respect, that man needs to go out and earn it. Like develop yourself into the man you need to be to earn their respect. Like do things, like to be impressive. Do things that will impress others. That's all. Like you have to be the main character. If you want to be able to earn respect instead of grovel for it or beg for it, be the main character in your movie. Could you ever imagine yourself watching a movie where the main character is just sitting in their car or on a couch or on a toilet looking at a screen scrolling and scrolling and scrolling and brain rotting themselves? Of course not.

That would be a boring movie. You would walk out of the theater. You would turn off the television. yet many of you, you're the main character of the movie of your life, you're living this way, man, right? And you're leading your son into that example. So understand this. Never beg or grovel for respect. Do things that earn respect. Get lean and jack. Start making money.

Start donating and contributing and helping and serving and having awesome experiences. And as the world sees that, you start gaining and earning respect. You get that. Lesson number four, that every dad should teach their son. Never break a promise, not even a tiny, small one. Think about this. Most often, and I know there's like a whole generation that does this right now, where you'll plan something with your friends,

and then all of a sudden, last minute, boom, you cancel or you ghost them. Why does that happen? It should never happen. To you, it might seem trivial. It's not a big deal. What's the problem, B? The problem is this. You made a promise.

now you should follow through. And if you don't follow through on that promise, what does that say about you? That you're a hypocrite. You're a loser. You're unreliable. You're inconsistent. And what does that say about your reputation?

Well, I can't trust you. I can't, there's no loyalty in you. I can't really count on you, can I? Right? So think about this. Whether you're making promises to others or promises to yourself. And when I say don't even break small promises to yourself,

Like you might say, all right, tomorrow morning I'm going to wake up and I'm going to drink, whatever, 10 ounces of water, 16 ounces of water. In my case, I drink 30 ounces of water first thing in the morning because, well, Sean Stevenson said so. He's got a great podcast, the model health show. And on top of that, he's gotten, you know, his two books, eat smarter and sleep smarter. Freaking amazing books. Highly recommend you get them. And those aren't even part of the four books that I'm going to recommend. But anyway, Sean Stevenson says so, drink 30 ounces of water because you're dehydrating all night and you need it, right?

Especially for a man. Women, I think he said, need about 20 ounces of water first thing in the morning. Well, with that said, if you're making a promise to yourself that you're going to drink water first thing in the morning, but then you get up and you don't drink that water. And you remember later on, man, I had coffee or an energy drink instead of water first thing in the morning. I just broke a little promise to myself. No big deal. Oh, that is a big deal. Your promise is your reputation.

It's your word with yourself. So if you don't have a good reputation with yourself, if you don't have good credibility with yourself, then how can you have any kind of confidence? reputation and credibility that a man carries with himself is his confidence. You get what I'm saying, right? So teach your sons that. Never break a promise, not even a small one. Hey guys, quick interruption to the Bedros-Coolian show. Listen, if you're like me and you love fitness, you love helping people, and you love being

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Number five, apologize when you're wrong. Simple as that. And I'm going to teach you the three-part strategy to apologizing. So if you screw something up, you want to apologize in this three-step process. Hey, I'm sorry for doing X, Y, and Z. I could imagine it made you feel this way. Here's what I'm going to do to make it right. So there you go, right?

You see that, the three steps. One, apologize and let them know what you're apologizing for. Don't just say I'm sorry. or even worse, I'm sorry that you feel this way about something that I did. That's pretty fucked up. That's like a narcissist way of apologizing, right? And I know all of you have no a narcissist. And I know, you know what, just for fun, leave in the comments who the narcissist is in your life.

Don't write their name, but just let me know. Is it a spouse? Is it a friend? Is it a parent? Is it a sibling? I'm curious. Everyone's got a narcissist in their life. And you know who that narcissist is.

Leave it in the comments. It'll be therapeutic. And then maybe we can work out this whole narcissism thing. I should probably do a whole episode on what you do when you have narcissistic family members or relationships and how to cope with those. But anyway, going beyond that, you need to apologize, right? You apologize with the three-step process.

One, I'm sorry for screwing this up doing this specific thing, right? Now they know that, all right, this guy actually understands what he's apologizing for. Step two, tell him, hey, I can imagine it made you feel this way. Because it probably made you feel this way, And that sucks. And step three, let him know what you're going to do to make things right. And if you don't know what to do to make things right, ask them.

Say, so what could I do to make things right? So I'm sorry for, you know, crashing into your car, right? I'm sorry for crashing into your car. I can imagine it's frustrating and you're like, man, this really ruined my day. You know, what could I do to make it right? Do you want me to buy you a new car? Do you want me to take the car myself to an auto body store to get it fixed? But if you apologize that way, then you're good to go.

Now on the flip side, convert side of this, apologize when you're wrong. Don't let your ego get in the way. But on the flip side, if you were right about something, hold the line, stand your ground, even if everyone is against you. I did this during the pandemic. I was on Fox News three or four times talking out against the government, the pandemic, these stupid rules and regulations like small businesses have to close. But for some reason, the DMV, a place where the government makes money, is essential.

Walmart is essential. Target is essential. But a small mom and pop store that provides value and products and services, oh, well, they're not essential. Shut the fuck up, right? There was a big money exchange and you know that. That's what the 2020 pandemic was all about. And I stood up against that even when I was getting threats, even when people were threatening to also sue me because to me, I wasn't about to stay, keep my mouth shut just because I wanted to conform because I'm not going to conform with stupidity. And nor are you. Lesson number six that I want you to teach your son. Protect those who can't protect themselves. Deescalate problems anytime you get the opportunity, but have an ability to go violent if you need to. I'll say that again. Protect those who can't protect themselves.

Protect yourself. Deescalate problems, issues, a potential for violence any chance you get. Deescalate any chance you get. But if violence is the only option, then you better be really good at it. it. Learn to fight. Learn combatives. Learn to shoot. Learn to use a knife. And learn to keep yourself out of trouble in the first place and to de-escalate it. But if you have to protect yourself and others,

at least know how to bring the violence. If you don't, you become a victim. Number seven, earn your money. Never ask for handouts. I'm telling you, the weakest men are the ones who ask for a handout. It is just weakness for a man to ask for handout. Today, money, is what we hunt with, right? There was a time that you would go and you would fight the saber-tooth tiger and try and kill it and bring it home to your cave to eat it, right? And then you would go and figure out how to take a piece of, you know, a hollowed out stump, a tree stump, hollow it out and go to the river

and use it as a bucket to bring water back to your cave. Today we use money to access food and water and shelter and life experiences and safety. And the man needs to know how to go and earn his money. teach your sons not to beg for money, not to ask for money, not to look for handouts, but to go out there and solve problems, add value in exchange for money. Have them earned their money. You will be happy to know that your son or your daughter for that matter, right?

But this is about the sons, that your son is out there taking care of himself and his family. And I don't know about you, but I would sleep better at night as my son and daughter launch into life and develop families, I would sleep better at night knowing that they can pay their mortgage, their lifestyle, have awesome experiences, they're not in debt. So making money is very important. Number eight, a man's word is his contract with others and himself. Your word is your contract with others and yourself. Never sacrifice trust and loyalty at the cost of your reputation. And this is what a lot of people do, man. Your word is your contract. And so if you're going to say something and not do it. If you're going to say you're going to show up and you don't,

no matter how small it is, as we talked about earlier, understand that your reputation with another man is everything. As kids, as young boys, kids don't understand the value of reputation. It becomes incredibly valuable when we're older. Your reputation is your credit score with other men, right? Is your credit score? In other words, are you a promise keeper? Do you follow through? Do you say you're going to do something and you do it? And if I can't trust you and you can't be loyal enough to do the things that you said you would do to keep your word, your contract, then you've lost your reputation with me. And if you've lost your reputation with other men, you're useless. Now you're a pariah, you're an outcast.

You're no longer part of the tribe. And finally, lesson number nine that every dad should share with their kids. Be kind, be compassionate, but never gullible. Sometimes as we get caught up in life, we get so focused, we get this myopic focus on the things that we're doing. And we forget that everyone around us is going through some level of hardship. Everyone around you is dealing with some level of agitation in their life, sadness, depression, anxiety, problems. And whether those things are big and small, you showing kindness and compassion that cost you nothing, could be the one simple thing that helps that human turn the corner in their life.

So be kind, be compassionate, but don't be so gullible where people take advantage of you. Because sadly, the world is very harsh and bad people will take advantage of good people. And so you've got to know the difference between kindness and compassion and where to draw the line between all ability and being taken advantage of as well. Got it? So now, as promised, let me give you the four books that I want you to. to read as a father, and that I would suggest that you give your son to read as he gets older, like in his teens.

All right, book number one, this has been very valuable to me. This is the book that I told you that I read when my son was still in the womb before he was even born, Raising a Modern Day Night by Robert Lewis. Great book, fantastic book. Highly recommend that you get it. Raising a Modern Day Night. Book number two, Wild at Heart by John Eldridge. Man, this book goes deep into what a dad's role in responsibility is, just like the first book

for a young man and the massive hold that you can leave in your son's heart if you don't lead him from a boy to a man and how to go about it book number three by my dear friend jack donovan the way of men this thing has become like a i think all three of these are international bestsellers and two of them i believe wild at heart and the way of men have become new york times bestsellers but the way of men like literally goes into like how we men respect each other operate with each other, the way of men. And it is important. Remember what I said in the very beginning. The lone wolf does not survive. The wolf pack survives and thrives. And so that if we are going to get along, if you're going to start a company, son, if you are going to lead a group of men,

if you want to do anything meaningful and significant and purposeful in life, you're going to need the help of other men to get there, to support you, to guide you, to be there for you, to work for you. And if you want that to happen, you have to understand the way of men. And finally, the fourth book, my book, To Be So Humble, Man Up by Bedrose Coolean. I recommend that you get all three of all four of these books, read them, apply them to your life, and over your son's journey from teenager, young boy to teenager to a young man, give him access to these books to read and consider actually talking about it. Like, what were the big takeaways? What are the values that you got? Is there anything you didn't understand that I can give you clarity on? Those four books,

plus these nine lessons to share with your son will ensure that your son becomes a asset to humanity, a good man and not a nice guy, not someone who's going to be emotional and toxic, but someone who will be masculine and who will be someone that people will look up to. Guys, thank you for watching and listening to this episode of the Bedroskoolion show.

Go to squireprogram.com to join us for the next upcoming Squire program. And always remember this, that averages the enemy, that success is your responsibility. And change can take place in an instant if you are willing to flip the switch. I'll see you next time.