Bedros Keuilian Podcast Show - 180. How to Conquer your Mind and Win the Battle Within

Episode Date: March 10, 2026

Most men think the battle is happening out there.In business. In money. In relationships. In circumstances.But the real war?It’s happening in your head.Every day your mind is either building you… or breaking you.In this episode of The Bedros Keuilian Show, I break down how to conquer the internal battle that keeps most people stuck in anxiety, self-doubt, and mediocrity. Because if you can’t win the war in your mind, you’ll never win anywhere else.We talk about how trauma and adversity can either become the story that limits you… or the thing that builds you. The difference is learning how to reframe your past, upgrade your identity, and start stacking small wins that create real momentum.Because discipline doesn’t start with motivation. It starts with winning the battle in your head.DOMINATION DOWNLOADSTRAIGHT FROM THE DESK OF BEDROS KEUILIANYour weekly no B.S. newsletter to help you dominate in business and in lifehttps://bedroskeuilian.com/MAN UP SCALE BUNDLE: $29 (100% Goes to Charity)Get your Digital Man Up book + Audiobook + 2 Exclusive MASTERCLASSES & Support Shriners Children’s Hospital. https://www.manuptribe.com/limited-offerREGISTER FOR THE LEGACY TRIBEGet the Life, Money, Meaning & Impact You Deservehttps://bedroskeuilian.com/legacytribeJOIN MY FREE 6-WEEK CHALLENGE:Transform into a Purpose-Driven Manhttps://bedroskeuilian.com/challengeTHE SQUIRE PROGRAM: A rite of Passage for Your Son as He Becomes a ManA Father and Son Experience That Will Be Remembered FOREVERhttps://squireprogram.com/registerTruLean Supplements | https://www.trulean.com/pages/bedrosGet 50% Off Trulean Subscribe & Save BundleUse Code: BEDROS Few Will Hunt Apparel | https://fewwillhunt.com/Get 20% Off Your Entire OrderUse Code: BEDROSOPEN A FIT BODY LOCATIONA High-Profit, Scalable Gym Franchise Opportunity Driven By Impacthttps://sales.fbbcfranchise.com/get-started?utm_source=bedrosPODCAST EPISODES:https://bedroskeuilian.com/podcast/STAY CONNECTED:Website | https://bedroskeuilian.com/Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/bedroskeuilian/LinkedIn | https://www.linkedin.com/in/bedroskeuilianTwitter | https://twitter.com/bedroskeuilian

Because of that I survived, business is going to be easy. Because of that I've experienced and overcome, the pandemic will not stop me. Because of the abuse and the neglect that I had to overcome, I could survive anything that the world throws at me. And when you reframe that and you realize what happened to you is not sad, what happened to you became a superpower. Now you have post-traumatic growth. Welcome to the Bedroofs Coolie and Show. Back when Q was rolling with Lorenzo and a Benzo I was banging with a gang and instrumental. Everyone is fighting a war within.

Truth is, most don't win the war, some do. The reality is your mind is either going to be your greatest weapon or your biggest deficit and weakness. Guys, welcome to the Bedroskulian show. Today's episode is all about that, how to conquer the mind and win the war in your head. Because if you are not able to conquer your mind and win the war. internal battles and wars, you will end up forever defeated, constantly suffering, struggling, stuck in debt, depression, and anxiety. If you want to know why most people live in a life of mediocrity, they constantly suffer and they have goals and dreams and ambitions that will

never be met, it's because they are incapable of conquering the war, the battle that takes place in their mind. And today I'm going to teach you exactly what you need to do to begin to win this war. Because everyone is fighting that war in their head. Some win. Most don't. What I want you to understand is this, that nobody is stuck, right? Nobody is necessarily stuck in a place. You're just conditioned to be lazy. You're conditioned to give up. You're conditioned to not try. and you've done this to yourself. Think how many things you've started and have not completed.

Think how many times people have left you off the hook, right? Oh, it's okay. You can give up. Or something has happened to you in your life. Some kind of trauma, some kind of abuse, some kind of negative experience that has left you feeling PTSD,

post-traumatic stress disorder. It's not just for dudes who come out of war and battle. Lots of people who have experienced adversity, suffering, trauma. And that trauma could show up as physical abuse, emotional abuse, sexual abuse. In my case, I've had it all. I've talked to you guys about this in previous episodes. You know, in Armenia, before we escaped the Soviet Union and came here to the United States when I was six years old, for the two years before that, between the ages of four and six, I was constantly sexually abused by two older boys. It was a secret that I kept within.

It was something that I told no one. And it was something that I struggled with. And it was massively crippling for me. I battled with depression and anxiety growing up. I battled with trusting men. I could not trust men. You know, when I look back historically at my past business relationships and partnerships with men, and I see how most of them, not all of them, but most of them went sideways.

It's because it stemmed from my lack of trust for men. See, I never dealt with that sexual abuse. I just put it away and disassociated from it and thought that I could just move past it. I was also neglected. Now, listen, I love my parents. My mom passed away a couple years ago from dementia. If you've been listening to this show or following this show for any given time, you know that. My dad is 91 years old. I love him to pieces. I forgive him for the physical and

emotional neglect. I'm talking about like birthdays have been missed, right, as a kid, only for them to remember like weeks later. Whatever. I get it. We came to the United States. We were broke. We were poor. We're living in Section 8 housing. We didn't have any money. They're telling us to go back to your own effing country. You foreigners, you don't belong here. Like, it was a hard time. as immigrants in this country, it was a hard time. And so I don't begrudge my family anymore, right? My parents, I've grown up, I've forgiven them. I've gotten past that.

But if that's not neglect, I don't know what is. And then my dad, well, he was an angry dude. He was an angry dude. I can imagine at the age of 45, taking my family to a new country, not knowing the language, not having money, not understanding the culture, and trying to get by. Today we have the internet, we have Google Translate, we have the ability to assimilate easier. Back in 1980 when I came to the United States, none of that. There's no smartphones.

There's no Google Translate. There's no internet and social media and online communities for specific cultures and to be able to understand and communicate. There's no, there wasn't that much government assistance. We had food stamps and Section 8 housing. That was it. That was it. And I share that with you because that made me. my dad pretty angry, man. We, we were broke, we were poor and, you know, I was a probably a little

shit of a kid. And his way of discipline was just giving me beatings. And so when you think about the PTSD that I've gained from the sexual abuse, the neglect, the physical beatings, well, it's quite the story I could write. And if I keep repeating that story to myself, like I used to, the old version of that story, I'm worthless. I'm broken. I'm damaged goods. This used to be the soundtrack in my head.

I don't trust people. I'm alone in this world. What kind of PTSD have I created? It wasn't until years later that I learned about PTSD because there isn't just post-traumatic stress disorder. There's also post-traumatic stress growth. And all it takes for you to create post-traumatic stress, growth is a reframe. So the big lesson here I want to teach you, number one, is to

reframe what's happened to you, right? If you want to win and conquer the mind, if you want to make your mind your biggest weapon and not the thing that becomes your biggest weakness, you've got to understand that everyone at some point in their life will experience hardship, abuse, adversity, trauma. And I'm sorry for that if that happened to you. I can relate. But I don't want to sit around and hand ring about it. I don't want to sit around and feel bad about it.

Because if I do, the PTSD continues. And I begin to feel shitty about myself and sorry for myself and feel unlovable and broken and unworthy and alone. How is that fertile ground for success and happiness in business or in life? It's not. And so you sit there in despair and you take your fucking phone and you scroll and you scroll and you scroll, doom scrolling your way, brain rotting yourself to avoid the conversations in your head. But you know that in those moments before bed when you're falling asleep, you hear the whispers from the dragon that you're not good enough. you're not worthy, you're broken, you're not capable, you lack confidence, you're a fake,

you're a phony. But what if you could reframe that into post-traumatic growth? See, when you reframe that, here's how it goes. Because of the shit that I survived, business is going to be easy. Because of the shit that I've experienced and overcome, the pandemic will not stop me. because of the abuse and the neglect that I had to overcome, I could survive anything that the world throws at me. And when you reframe that and you realize what happened to you is not sad,

what happened to you became a superpower. Now you have post-traumatic growth and it's a thing. Why do you think some dudes who come out of the military who have experienced, some very horrific stuff. Their best friends to their left and right have been killed and blown up. They've seen unimaginable things in war and battle. They come out and they have a greater love for life. They have this joyous way about them. They become amazing entrepreneurs or develop great careers. they begin to share knowledge and wisdom that they've gained through battle because they realize even civilians out in the real world

are dealing with a battle and a war in their head. One such guy that comes to mind is my dear friend and, you know, business partner, Jason Redmond. He's a business partner in a event program that we have. The guy is out there speaking on hundreds of stages every year. He's business partners in two massive businesses that have so much capacity for growth. And Jason Redman, as a former and retired seal, who's won a Purple Heart and has come out and wrote two books, both New York Times bestsellers, did not see himself as a victim, even after being shot up across the body. in the arm and in the face where his entire orbital plate and nose were blown off. It took 40 surgeries in several years to put him back together.

His arm is still stuck in what looks like a 90 degree. He walks around in a state of gratitude. He doesn't feel sorry for himself. In fact, he's famous for a sign that he wrote and put on his hospital door because people who would come and visit would think that he's sleeping. And they would start talking to each other about, man, poor Jason. He went and became a seal. He went into battle.

He fought so many missions and battles. And now last one, he got shot up. His face will never look the same again. His arm won't function. He's got no sinuses in his face. Poor guy. And he would hear this as he's, drugged up, going in and out of surgeries.

And one day, he told his wife, hey, grab a big piece of construction paper and a marker and come over here. And they wrote this sign. And Ed, if you can make sure that this sign, if we can post up in this video, that'd be great. And the sign essentially said, the injuries I got, I got fighting a battle with guys that I love, for a country that I love, for citizens that I. I love, and I'm paraphrasing here. Do not come in here feeling sad or sorry for me. I will make a 100% full recovery. I will end up having a great life despite this.

If you plan on coming here feeling sad or sorry for me, please leave now. And it was signed the management, as in Jason and his wife Erica. This sign ended up going viral. And Michelle Obama even talked about it in her book. Because that sign was a sign of resilience. Now, could he have come back from war with PTSD and sadness and sorrow? Why did this have to happen to me? We could have made a different decision on that mission.

I could have not been shot up. I'll never look the same. My arm doesn't function the same. The guy is out there crushing it as an entrepreneur, crushing it as an author. He's crushing it as a businessman because he chose to take PTSD and reframe it as PTSD, post-traumatic growth, that I will recreate my life and recreate who I am and develop a new identity from a Navy SEAL to an entrepreneur and public speaker and author. That's exactly what he did. It is the reframe.

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Now back to the show. Because the enemy in your head are these automatic thoughts that you have, these avoidance loops that you create. Because the dragon continues to whisper, you're not good enough, you don't have what it takes, you're broken, you're unworthy, look what happened to you,

best times are behind you. She left you. You're broke. You're alone. Okay. You're damaged goods. The moment you start having these automatic thoughts, you begin to go into this avoidance loop. Well, since I'm unworthy, I'm unlovable, I'm broken, I'm alone. Maybe I shouldn't try. And that's the battle that you're fighting. But if you could reframe that all those things that happened to you were a gift because you survived all that, you overcame. You overcame. all that. Despite all that, you function on a daily basis. And that's what you have to do is reframe all that because if you can catch the first sentence of that thought that comes up and stop it in its track instead of allowing it to take you down the spiral, this death spiral

of self-despair and self-hate. And then you begin to medicate yourself with alcohol, pornography, weed, gambling, social scrolling, where you just rot your brain. Destroy. synapses. Erase your short-term memory. Fuck, man. People can't even remember short-term stuff because unless it's 15 or 30 seconds long like a TikTok clip, you're not going to be able to remember shit. You're a grown-ass man. What's the matter

with you? Now, if you can start changing these stories and realize that these stories don't have to be sad, they can be stories of survival, stories have overcome and because of that, you have a track record. You've defeated these things. You could overcome new things.

The reframe is. important to go from PTSD to PTSD to PTSD. The second thing you need to start doing, if you want to win and conquer this battle in your mind, is to stop fixing behaviors. Instead, start upgrading your identity. Here's an example of that. A behavior fix is, I'm going to try and be disciplined today. That's someone trying to fix their behavior. Right? Don't do that. Instead, upgrade your identity. Because if you can change or upgrade your identity, you no longer say I'm going to try and be disciplined today, because now you have to white knuckle and do I make the choice that I want or the choice that I should, right? Do I eat this jolly burger and this ding dong and chase it with a bag of Cheetos?

Or do I eat this chicken Caesar salad with double chicken and dressing on the side, no croutons? Which is pretty much what I have every day from Habit. Habit is a great restaurant down the street here. Amazing chicken salad for those of you who live in Southern California. I think they're located all up and down the coast. But I share this with you because if you stop trying to fix your behaviors and instead focus on a new identity, it goes like this. The identity is, I am the type of person who does hard things. You no longer have to go, I'm going to try and be disciplined today.

Instead, you go, I'm the type of person who does hard things. That's the new identity. See, Jason Redmond realized I am no longer going to be a Navy SEAL. Okay. Now, he realized I can just develop a new identity. I'm going to be a New York Times bestselling author. I'm going to be a world-class speaker. And I'm going to learn to be a phenomenal entrepreneur.

He shifted his identity from warrior to entrepreneur, from warrior to author, from warrior to speaker. And then he did everything, every day, every opportunity that he got. Because think how many thousands of times a day you come to a crossroads of a decision. He always chose the decision of the new identity. Do I drink booze and watch TV and just take my pension that the VA gives me? Or do I develop this new identity and start writing this book that I'm going to write? Right?

He had a choice to make. I have never spoken on stage. Do I social scroll like the human animal within me wants me to do to avoid the pain and the frustration that I'm no longer a Navy SEAL? Or does Jason Redmond begin to learn how to speak by going to toastmaster classes, getting coaching and courses on how to speak and storytell? See, he shifted his identity and that's what's missing in you. You're trying to white knuckle through discipline, through life. through time management. No, when you shift your identity and say from now on, this is who I am. I'm the type of person that does hard things. I'm the type of person that makes a half a million

dollars a year take home money. And then you start doing the things that that type of person does. What you've done is you have shifted your identity from who you are, a broke loser, who just ruminates on shit that puts you in a state of despair and depression and a anxiety and you go from a loser to a winner who is now going to start creating a product and a service or a brand that solves problems for people in exchange for money so that he can make himself a half a million dollar take home that's the identity shift you're looking for my friend you understand that right and if you're able to do that you go to step three which is to start stacking micro wins.

You know how you win the battle in your head? You don't win it by overnight trying to be David Goggins. You don't do that. You win the battle in your head by stacking micro wins. Because if you can stack micro winds, you begin to engineer momentum, right? And what is up happening is when you get tiny little winds, your brain starts pumping out dopamine.

and dopamine increases motivation when progress is visible. You understand that, right? So if you're like, well, you know, I'm going to do a marathon. Okay, cool. And let's say you do the marathon challenge, right? By the way, if you go to bedroskoolion.com forward slash marathon, you can do the 26.2 challenge. I trained for six weeks.

And having never run a marathon, I trained for six weeks, hard a running coach, trained for six weeks, and ran a marathon. marathon. That's awesome. But remember, that took six weeks of training and then I'd run the marathon. The whole program there is free for you if you guys want that. If you want to challenge yourself, we'll put the link in the description on YouTube. But I share this with you because that is six weeks before you see the outcome. Now one might argue every couple days as you keep increasing your mileage, at least I should say every week during the six week training program, you start stacking micro wins. So maybe that is a great program you can do, right? You can start seeing faster results.

Because I remember the very first day of my 26.2 challenge when the coach, Jill Brewer, awesome marathon running coach, she goes, right, first day I need you to walk, jog a mile. Guys, I'm telling you, having never run any kind of distance, walking, Slash jogging a mile left me in so much pain that night and the next day. My ankles hurt, my knees hurt, my hips hurt. But she had written out a program and I was going to follow it to the T. And if I did, I would end up running the San Diego Rock and Roll Marathon that year. Six weeks later.

That's exactly what I did. Ran it and finished it. And the reason that's important for you to know is because after a couple days, I needed to walk slash jog a mile and a half. A couple days after that, I needed to just jog one mile. A couple days after that, I was to jog two miles. Before you know it, by week two, I'm able to jog three miles. By week four, I'm jogging, running, six, seven, eight miles.

Week five, I did third. 13 miles, beginning of week 6, I did 8 miles, started to recover for two more days, and then bam, ran the San Diego Marathon 26.2 miles. And each of those times that I got those incremental wins, I felt better about myself. But what happened was I kept telling myself for years before I ever ran that marathon that I am not a runner. God's built me to lift weights. At the time, I was 6 foot, 235 pounds when I ran that marathon, 12 years ago, 13 years ago.

Now I'm 6 foot, maybe 511 and 3 quarters, and 220 pounds as of this morning. So I had built my whole identity around I'm designed to lift weights. I lift heavy weights. I power lift. I had to shift my identity once I hired Jill as a running coach. I had to shift my identity as I will become a runner. My identity had to shift so that my daily activities met my identity. And when I did that, boom, magically, I started hitting my standards and my expectations of myself, right?

Behavior change does not work. Identity change does. And if you can start stacking these micro winds in your favor, a micro wind could be simply waking up without hitting the snooze button, drinking 20 to 30 ounces of water once you wake up, something you probably don't do and something you probably should do. My good friend, Sean Stevenson, an amazing scientist and author and podcaster, The Model Health Show.

In his book, Sleep Smarter and Eat Smarter, he talks about your body dehydrating throughout the night. your brain needs water to be able to operate efficiently. Therefore, drinking 20 to 30 ounces of water first thing in the morning is probably one of the greatest things you could do for yourself. Guess what? I read it, I believe it, I did it. That's a micro win.

And then maybe you start sending out gratitude text messages. Maybe you don't touch your phone for the first hour. That's a micro win. See, when you start stacking these micro wins, one win begins to lead to another, just like one L begins to lead to another. Think about this. When you're on a losing streak, and studies have showed this, by the way, they tested salespeople. When they failed or lost a sale, they were more likely to lose the next sale.

When they closed the sale, their testosterone actually went up, believe it or not, and they were more likely to close the next sale. And so we know that winning, no matter how micro they are, they're going to give us an advantage and an edge. We're going to create momentum by spiking micro hits of dopamine. Dopamine increases motivation as we start seeing progress. That's all you need in your life. That's all you need in your life.

And so you change that identity. You start stacking the micro wins and you begin to engineer positive momentum in your life because right now your actions, your behaviors, your identity has created negative momentum, the momentum of being a loser who's depressed and dopey and anxious and desperate for attention, desperate for anyone to hear your sad story. I know this and I shit on you about it because I used to be that guy when I was younger. I don't want you to live another day in this negative state of mind where the constant battle and war in your head against yourself. It's a way at you.

And finally, the fourth thing you can do is start creating emotional regulation through physical activity. Look, I'm all for therapy. I've told you about Dr. Kevin Downing, who I worked with. Look, man, amazing therapist. I sat on his couch and I worked through all the fucking anxiety and the child trauma that I had, the sexual abuse that I experienced. It's an amazing therapist. Go find yourself a great therapist and work with them.

That's awesome. But don't for a moment think to just sitting on a couch and going through therapy is enough or reading books on healing is enough. You need to change your emotional state. You need to emotionally regulate yourself. Right now, most of you are emotionally deregulated. Your nervous system is in deregulation state. You are on edge.

You are constantly scanning for threats. You can't keep focus or attention on any one thing you do. that is a dysregulated nervous system that is that is dysregulated emotions therapy will help you heal from your trauma physical activity will help regulate you in terms of your emotions and that means consistently lifting weights or running or get on the mats and do jiu jitsu or boxing or combattas of any type consistently doing things that are difficult and challenging right you see the theme that lifting is hard. Do it five, six, seven days a week.

You're lifting. Your muscles are burning. Lactic acid is filling up. You're getting sore. You're sweating. You're running. You're running out of air. You have to increase your VO2 max.

You're getting on the mats. Motherfucker is trying to get into a dominant position and then to submit you. You can't breathe. The curtains are closing. I've had that happen many of times. And soon you realize, I'm a pretty formidable motherfucker. I can keep my emotions dialed in, my nervous regulated under duress in a cold in a cold ice bath while some motherfuckers trying to choke me out

and that's the cool thing about it because now if you're emotionally regulated you're not going to just emotionally blow up at your honey for some stupid reason you're not going to go around simping for attention from anyone who's willing to give it to you if you want to win the battle in your head you want to conquer that war Understand that that internal dragon is always going to be whispering negativity at you until you can use these four strategies that we talked about here on this episode to win that battle in your head. And when you do, you start making more money, you get more fit, you find more joy and

happiness in your life, and magically your relationship ends up working out. It just does. Guys, if you got any value from this episode, you're watching this on YouTube, please do me a favor and subscribe to the show. 74% of you watching this are not subscribed. When you subscribe, like and leave a comment, you help the algorithm get this content out to more men who need this information. And I greatly appreciate it.

And if you're on the podcast platforms like Spotify and iTunes, it would mean the world to me if you'd give me a five-star review and left a comment. And above all, fellas, remember this, that averages the enemy, that success is your responsibility and change can take place in an instant if you are willing to flip the switch. I'll see you next time.