Bedros Keuilian Podcast Show - 185. Fake Alpha Males Exposed: The Insecurity Behind the Tough Guy Act

Episode Date: April 14, 2026

42% OFF - Get your Digital Man Up book + Audiobook + 2 Exclusive MASTERCLASSES https://bit.ly/manuptribeTruLean Supplements | https://bit.ly/trulean-bedrosGet 50% Off Trulean Subscribe & Save BundleUse Code: BEDROS Fake Alpha Males Exposed: The Insecurity Behind the Tough Guy ActWhat does it really mean to be a “high-value man”? In this episode, we break down the difference between real masculinity and the fake, social media-driven version many young men are being sold today. From internal vs. external validation to discipline, purpose, and self-mastery—this is a raw conversation about becoming a man of strength, integrity, and true value.

Welcome to the Bedroes Coolian show. Back when Q was rolling with Lorenzo and a Benzo, I was banging with a gang of instrumental. Between social media, alpha males and absent fathers, the art of masculinity is all but gone. Guys, welcome to this episode of the Bedros Coelian Show. This episode is really all about the lost art of being a man. It shouldn't be rocket science, but quite frankly, it has become that. And when you see what kind of nonsense is taking place on social media in terms of depicting what a man is, I start to get nauseated. I start to get infuriated and I start to feel so horribly bad for

the young men who are coming up and really looking up to these retards on social media and thinking that that's what a masculine man is. So let's unpack this because if you're a man, whether you're a dad, you're going to become a dad, you're going to become a husband, you're a young man and you're looking to become a formidable man. This episode's going to add a ton of value for you. Now first off, Let's line up the problem. The problem is this. Over the last 20 years, the opposition has done a great job tearing down masculinity. Who's the opposition?

It's big government. And why would big government do this? Well, quite honestly, men are the only thing that stand between good and evil. Look, if I'm the government and I want to be oppressive and I want to take advantage of the people, I want to tax the hell out of them, and I want to be able to maybe corner humanity in a way where I have a lot more control and compliance over them, the only people that are really going to stand up to the tyranny of the government, the opposition, are men,

able-bodied, capable men who are strong, who are confident, who are secure, and know that the oppression must stop. The government's not worried about women and children. They're not worried about the elderly. They're worried about capable, confident men who can stop them. And so it only makes sense that they use. television, movies, music, education, the church system, school, social media to tear down

everything that is a healthy, masculine man, a man that has values, that has integrities, that has non-negotiables, and who is purpose-driven. Because if you can tear that man down, declaw him and defang him, guess what you've done? You've now created someone who's easier to manipulate, easier to control, and, you know, and easier to get compliance over. And if you want proof of that, look at the year 2020, the pandemic.

I feel 2020 was a test of humanity, but specifically of men, and it proved that the previous 15 years of declying and defanging men worked because grown-ass men were wearing masks, driving a car by themselves, down the street, thinking that there's this virus that's going to kill them, and then allowing their families to get

injected with poison and then allowing their businesses to erode, allowing all of this oppression and overreach from big government. And what ended up happening? A massive exchange of wealth. The rich got richer and the middle class and the poor got poor, didn't they? Men were supposed to step up. Men were supposed to use their voice. Many didn't.

I remember stepping up. I remember being on Fox News five times speaking out against the government saying how we're going to keep Fit Body Boot. camp locations open, how we're going to make sure that we sanitize everybody and everything, but people need to be in community, they need to exercise and stay healthy, and we need to keep businesses open and functioning. And guess what? I got so many text messages from people who were afraid to leave comments on my social media

because they didn't want their workplace to see that they were in agreement with me, so they would text me and DM me in private saying, I agree with what you're saying, but I can't post about it. Grown-ass men who couldn't post about it, talk about it, be in support of it, because they feared opposition. And so the declining and defanging took place and they did a damn good job. And that was the erosion of men. And then the feminism movement came through. Did it further declining and defanging of men.

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Peace. Soon men began to wonder, maybe I am toxic. Maybe I shouldn't be so strong and capable. Maybe I should soften up my ways. There's nothing wrong with being a caring, kind, compassionate man. There's everything wrong in losing your masculinity, and losing the traits that make you a man, strength, honor, courage, mastery, the desire to want to go and conquer, right?

There's nothing wrong with that. That is how we have advanced as humanity. And then, of course, with social media. Because when you take insecure men who have had an absence of proper fathering, they had no strong male role models in their life, and now you give them access to social media, and they think the definition of success is the acquisition of a Lamborghini that they're leasing, a cigar that they're smoking, sunglasses wearing indoors,

clothes that are so fucking tight you think they borrowed it from their younger brother, and these goofballs end up mouthing off so loud and so arrogantly chest beating that the younger men who are looking up to them think that that is what a masculine man is. They call themselves high-value men. But if you really watch how they operate, they are some of the most hurt, insecure, and angry boys in a man's body. What they have mastered is the ability to redefine masculinity using social media. What they have mastered is the ability to exploit young men that don't have capable,

confident fathers in their life. Maybe some of these fathers were absent because of a divorce. Maybe these fathers are under the same roof, but absent by way of actually teaching, sharing values, instilling character and morality. and depicting and being an example of what a strong, capable, confident masculine man is, one who can protect and provide, one who can be a savage and a servant, who can be kind and compassionate, but who can handle business as well. And because of that, that vacuum was filled by the social media retards

who walk around chest beating and portraying themselves as alpha males. And you could see that in this recent documentary that came out. a documentary the other day called Inside the Manosphere. Came out March of 2026, so just a month and a half ago. And in it, these guys are absolutely insecure, completely hypocritical. Like for example, one young man who's a alpha male and a high value man and leading to charge and teaching other young men who are lost and confused and don't have any great dads in their lives, he's literally teaching them that he runs a only fan's.

agency. And then the host of the documentary says, so would you marry any one of these girls? No, of course not. No, I despise these girls. This is not what I'm into. Yet that's how he makes his money. Look at the hypocrisy there, right? Another guy's like, yeah, you know what? I expect my girl to be monogamous, but not me. I can have my wife or maybe it was his permanent girlfriend and they have kids, but I can also have all of these side chicks. So what exactly is happening there when young dudes who are coming up and they're in their teens and early 20s are seeing these goofballs as a representation of what a masculine man is? What ends up happening is we see more and more insecurity propagating in humanity. And so I want to talk to you guys about that

because being a man is not about this external validation that's superficial. Every single one of these quote unquote high value men that you see out there. It's almost like there's a checklist of what is required to be one of them. A you got to wear sunglasses indoors. You got to have multiple chicks. You got to be somehow having at least one of your income streams from only fans, exploiting chicks. You've got to be selling some kind of a course that educates young men on how to make money fast without educating them on building integrity, core values, character, morality, a true purpose-driven path in life. And of course, that rented Lamborghini or Bugatti or Ferrari, clothes that fit so tight, you think they borrowed it from a child.

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And what I saw in that documentary that inside the Manosphere is that all the dudes in it had a similar thing in common. There was an absence of a strong, positive male role model, number one. Number two, there was a hatred towards their moms. Maybe their moms were crazy. Maybe they were narcissistic. Maybe they had some kind of mental disorder. Or maybe they were just stressed out trying to raise a family by themselves.

I don't know. But they had this massive hate and dislike for their moms. And they grew up insecure and ultimately found social media and realized that they can get external validation that's superficial by posting shit that gets them attention. And therefore, they let go of any desire to seek out internal validation. So when you take these men who are really boys in the body of a man and they only seek out external validation,

well, where are you going to get that from? Multiple chicks. If you can have multiple girlfriends, that's going to make you feel good. And if you could drive a Lamborghini, that's going to be. to make you feel good. And if you could flash money, that's going to make you feel good. And if you could beat your chest on social media, that's going to make you feel good. And if you can get the engagement, the likes, and the comments, that's going to instill the fact that what you're doing is right. And so then they go on create more courses and education programs for young men, never really teaching young

men how to heal, how to find internal validation. The difference between external validation and internal validation, I look at it like this. If you guys, remember Easter and Easter just passed but you remember those I remember that be those chocolate Easter bunnies that were wrapped in foil you know it's about this big about the I don't know six to eight inches big and this freaking Easter bunny was made of chocolate but it was hollow inside and you unwrapped the foil and one little you know movement of that Easter bunny and the entire chocolate cracks that is external validation where it looks like some of value from the outside, but it's hollow and empty on the inside.

Internal validation is more like a gold brick. You feel dense. You are sure. You're confident. And a gold brick has infinitely greater value than a hollow piece of chocolate that's easy and fragile to break. And so internal validation gives you exactly that, this ability to have your own true North Star where you don't require the validation and approval of others to be happy in life,

that you know what your path in life is and you are locked on to achieving your desired outcome. And so I got to thinking what is missing in these guys. And by the way, when I talk about these dudes in that documentary inside the Manosphere, make no mistake about it. I think every single one of those guys that were being interviewed have the potential and have the desire to become really good men. They don't want to be hypocrites. They don't want to shit on women

and then say that they're looking for a traditional woman, yet they're promoting and profiting off of women who are running only fans' accounts. They don't. But you see, they're conflicted. Because to them, all things external, money, cars, attention is validated. but that is hollow.

That's like what I said one time when somebody asked me, you know, like, hey, Bezos, you know, you got all these nice cars, you got all these buildings and homes and stuff and all those things like, man, you were really successful. I was like, yeah, you know what I am? I have a lot of real estate. I'm very blessed with having multiple companies. I have great teams that run my companies. And guess what?

I do like cars and I like owning my own private gym. And so I built one out. I bought the building and built one out. And I have my cars parked in the back. I love all that. But I said, but none of that can replace the physique that I've built. None of it can give me the validation of the physique that I've built. Because the physique that I've built here literally shows everyone when I walk into a room

that I have discipline, that I have focus, that I have self-control, that I have delayed gratification, that I have consistency. And then if you get to know me long enough, you might even see that, man, this guy's got core values. He's got integrity. He knows how to control his thoughts, feelings, and emotions. He's kind. Yet he might be a little dangerous. That is internal validation.

I don't need anyone out there to be ooing and awing and excited about my physical possessions because the greatest value that I give the world is the person that I am, the person that I've built myself to. right and so I shared this with you guys because John Eldridge in his book Wild at heart talks about every man who grows up and stays insecure angry and hurt and acts as a petulant little boy within is because there was a absence of a strong male father who didn't tell him son you have what

it takes because I've helped instill that in you you are good enough see there was a study done many years ago and they figured out that some of the most hyper-successful people on the planet have three traits in common. And by the way, they defined hyper-success by this. Money, financial success. Now, I would argue that success comes in many categories of life. If you have hundreds of millions of dollars but you have poor health, are you truly successful? If you have hundreds of millions of dollars and you have poor health and a shitty relationship, you're alone and you are not loved, are you truly successful? If you have hundreds of millions of dollars, you have poor health, you have shitty relationships, and you're constantly, constantly seeking the approval and validation

of others because you live in the state of fight or flight, of fear and anger and insecurity, are you truly happy and successful? Probably not. But this particular study was, on financial success. And here's what they found. They found the people that have hyper success financially have these three traits in common. Number one, they have a superiority complex. They feel that they are better than anyone else, right? Nothing wrong with that.

I'd rather have confidence than feel like I'm superior than you, right? There might be areas in life that I'm better than you at because I've put in the work and the time and the effort to develop a skill and master that thing, but I certainly don't walk around with the superiority complex thinking that I'm better than everybody else. I do walk around confident,

but not arrogant. But number one, for that trait that build hyper-successful people is a superiority complex, the ability to feel like you're better than everyone else. Number two is a massive insecurity, feeling of not enough,

that you're not enough for people out there. And number three is impulse control. The ability to lock on and stay focus and not get distracted by the things to your left and to your right so that you can lock on to your goals. Well, that's great for financial success. And I've achieved financial success.

And I remember a time 15, 20 years ago because I'm 51 years old now. But in my early 30s, I was insecure. I was, I was afraid. I was afraid of losing. losing it all. So I needed to define myself by the acquisition of my money, of my assets, of the homes and the buildings. Today, all those things are assets to me and they're great experiences to have that I could share with people. But back then, it was what defined me. I remember buying custom

suits made specifically to my dimensions with my logo, the BK logo, as the lining inside these suits and I would wear them on stage at speaking events because I felt if I walk up on stage in custom suits that I will feel more important than everyone else. I remember having those feelings of superiority yet secretly suffering inside, feeling insecure, feeling like they know that I don't fit in. They know that I'm not enough. But I would use so much anger and rage to lock on and have impulse control so that I can get to that next level of financial success. Only to realize at the age of 38,

when I had my massive panic attack, that financial success with the absence of health and family and loved ones and experiences and peace of mind and a great sense of fulfillment and purpose in life, it's useless. It's meaningless. And when I realized that, and unfortunately it took a massive panic attack to get to that state,

I was able to turn the corner by working with the therapist, by starting to do the self-work. And that is why the theme of this entire podcast to show is money, meaning, and self-mastery. I want you to make an obscene amount of money. I want you to have financial freedom. I want you to create security for the people that you love. I want you to have experiences that you will remember

and tell the moment that you die, I want you to give to your church and give to the causes that you believe in. I love giving to Shrine of Children's Hospital, toys for Todd's, Compassion International. Those are the three charities that I support. Money is an absolute weapon in my life, and I want it to be a weapon in your life.

But without meaning and self-mastery, money alone is that just external validation. It's shallow. If you want that density of a valuable, gold brick that is unbreakable, you also have to develop a sense of meaning, your purpose, your path in life, your life's mission, the thing that gives you fulfillment, the thing that gives you significance, that you wake up and you want to attack every fucking day. And if you're able to do that, the next step is self-mastery.

Can you heal from your traumas? Can you forgive your dad who wasn't there? Can you begin to father yourself? Can you become the man that you respect and look up to so that you don't have to? so that you don't have to go find these retarded internet alpha males who claim that they know the secret to masculinity, that they can help you become a high-value man. Because to me, a high-value man is a man who has mastered his thoughts, feelings, and emotions,

has developed mental toughness, has the ability to show kindness and compassion, has the ability to earn, has the ability to control his emotions, and has the understanding. that internal validation, peace of mind, being congruent with what your creator put you on this earth to do is the most valuable, important thing ever. And when you have that internal validation, no amount of external validation could ever touch that. That doesn't mean that you shouldn't go and acquire the things you want. Part of living on this earth, on this planet, is to make the

money and help a lot of people with it, as well as enjoy it. Go on awesome trips. Acquire homes and buildings, assets, cars, get the nice watches, get the custom suits. Man, I love having my own studio. I love having my own private gym where I can get all my homies together every week and we roll and jujitsu. But none of that can replace the internal validation that I get by keeping my word to myself, by waking up and stacking little wins and winning every day. day and that day becomes a week and that week becomes a month and that month becomes a year and then I've got a lifelong of winning. Will you ever face losing seasons? Absolutely you will. But when you have that level of confidence stacked up, that level of competency stacked up, that level of actual

assets stacked up and you have some high level of self-mastery where you are in control of your thoughts, feelings and emotions, you have healed and forgiven. You understand that you can father yourself, that you can be the man that you didn't have in your life, that you could truly show up as the man that you love and respect and honor. Man, that's a powerful thing. So what does a true high-value man look like? To me, it's a man who seeks internal validation over external validation. Not a dude who's trying to flash on social media

and get the most engagements and womanize and be an asshole and be a hypocrite. To me, it's a dude who's fit in jack. because his body, his physique is his calling card. All your possessions aside, when you show up in a room, I am judging you immediately. When I show up in a room, I expect you to judge me immediately. Not based off what I'm wearing, not based off what's in the parking lot, not based on the assets that I own, because you won't know all that. When I walk into a room, all you're going to be able to judge me on is how I look and how I carry myself. So if you can be jacked and fit, you're building internal validation.

Do that. Build mental toughness. Start doing hard things consistently so that you can build mental toughness. And when you do that, you start building emotional resilience, which is the next thing. The ability to not react to situations, but instead to take time to pause and to respond with clarity and without emotion. The ability to have core values, things that you believe in, right? Integrity, doing the right thing, even when no one's looking, character, a life's mission,

Non-negotiables. Those are core values. That is what defines a high-value man to me. A high-value man is a man who is an asset to humanity, not a liability. He doesn't go around degrading people, talking down to people, trying to rage bait people on social media. He's a man who's an asset to humanity, to his family, to his community, and to the world. Otherwise, you're just another liability. You're just a hollow chocolate shell that's empty inside. a high value man is someone who is making money, has the ability to cover his bills and keep savings and create security. And finally, a high value man to me is someone who has healed and has done the self-work. Because make no mistake about it, every single one of us come with our share of traumas. I've shared with you all the different shit that I've gone through in life. I've been physically beat, emotionally beat, sexually abused. All of those things, if not healed, can lead to a angry, insecure man who begins to exploit and take advantage of the next generation of men coming up,

just so I could seek their validation and approval. And listen, man, you probably didn't have a dad in life. That's okay. or you had one, but he didn't teach you what you needed to learn. That's okay. You could either carry the weight of that and be an asshole, or you could start doing the self-work. You could start healing.

You could start doing the work necessary to become a true high-value man that has internal validation, a true North Star. Guys, if you got value out of this episode of the Badros Kulian show, please do me a favor. And if you're watching this on YouTube, 74% of you are not subscribed. So subscribe to the show and leave a comment, if I missed anything on what you consider a high value, a true high value man is.

And also if you're watching, we're listening to this on the podcast platforms. It would go a lot if you would leave me a five-star review and a comment. Thank you so much for watching and listening. And always remember this, that averages the enemy. Success is your responsibility. And change can take place in an instant if you are willing to flip the switch.