Bedros Keuilian Podcast Show - 188. Reaching a Higher State of Consciousness

Episode Date: May 11, 2021

There is no secret formula that will transform you into a successful, high-performing entrepreneur overnight. It takes years of dedication, hard work, and personal development to push you beyond your current ability. It will require you to go deeper into your mind to break free from your "human-animal" and into consciousness.  In today's Empire episode, Bedros and Diana Keuilian discuss how you can elevate yourself to a higher level through mindful awareness of your own existence, ways to challenge your personal belief system, how to overcome self-destructive behavior, and so much more.  Here's what you don't want to miss: 2:46 Evolving with your significant other and walking the journey of personal development  10:40 The power of mythology and challenging your own belief system 13:24 Your human-animal nature and being blocked from your consciences  16:00 Poor mental hygiene and the chatter in your head 18:22 Uncovering layers of your human-animal and becoming the observer in life 22:31 The first step to consciousness and the lifestyle it takes  24:00 How to filter out the noise and build in the discipline  27:10 Creating anchor points to check-in with your consciousness 32:15 How to identify when your human-animal is taking over 36:25 Overcoming the self-destructive cycle of fear and taking control 41:26 Creating forward movement and dealing with external resistance  47:20 The reality of life and not taking things so personal  Connect with Bedros Keuilian:   Instagram https://www.instagram.com/bedroskeuilian/ Facebook https://www.facebook.com/bedroskeuilian/ Youtube https://www.youtube.com/user/KeuilianInc Twitter https://twitter.com/bedroskeuilian LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/bedroskeuilian/ Buy Man Up and get Bedros' High-Performance Leadership Course for FREE: https://manup.com/ Subscribe to My Channel for weekly videos: http://www.youtube.com/bedroskeuilian/?sub_confirmation=1  

Make no mistake about it, every single day that we wake up, we've got a human animal and we've got consciousness, and they go back and forth between who has the wheel, right? A lot of people, the human animal never lets go to the wheel. But even those of us who have climbed and gotten to a place where we can access that consciousness, you're going to be hopping back and forth. Hey, what if you can increase your performance in business and in life by doing one simple thing? and this is not a marketing, sales, or process-driven thing. Hey, my name is Pedro Kulian, and this is The Empire Show, and this is an inside look. And today we have a very special guest, someone who's very special to me, and it is none other than my wife, Diana Kulian.

And the reason I've asked my wife to be here is because she's seen the entire journey of entrepreneurship for me, and she has joined me on that journey. Neither one of us were necessarily anything incredible as entrepreneurs, but together. we've really become one hell of a team to be reckoned with. So, Dai, welcome to the show, baby girl. Thank you so much. I have to say, like, this is so exciting and just such an honor that you would ask me to come on your show. But also, it's just one of my favorite topics.

Yeah, this is a good topic. And so it's just, it's a pleasure to be able to talk about it with you. Yeah. So, you know, we run these episodes. that kind of take this approach of becoming a high performer, right? Because Empire shows about entrepreneurs who want to scale their businesses so that they can make more income, have more impact, and have more influence on the communities they serve and the things they do.

And, yeah, okay, marketing, sales, leadership, processes, systems, all that stuff is important to hire and treat people. But then there's this other track of shows that we do. And like Sean Stevenson, where we talked about, how sleep and hydration really impact an entrepreneur's performance. And then, of course, Rachel Shear, and we talked about how gut health really impact the way you think and process information. And so in the spirit of that, I know that as you and I have evolved as entrepreneurs, we've gone from, well, what you call an human animal to a higher level of consciousness, a human being.

And as human beings, we operate at a different level. We lead at a different level. We show up on a different level. And I thought it would be a really cool idea to show that part of who we are and what we do and who better than you. Well, I love this because we have some very interesting conversations together. When we hype together or when we're, if we once in a while have like a relaxed morning on weekends and we sit there and we drink our coffee. Yeah, we have definitely evolved together. I mean, last month was 20 years that we've been together as partners.

And we definitely have changed together. And I think that's such a cool thing that we've been on this journey. And, you know, we egg each other on with self-development because it really is. if you're not, you know, when you level up, that's like a shot over my bow, like, okay, I'm going to level up to match you. And I feel like I've done the same for you. Well, to that point, one of our wacky little theories is that 20 point spread that we talk about, right, where if someone around you all of a sudden begins to do the self-development work

and increases their IQ and their EQ intelligence quotient and their emotional quotient by 20% above you or 20 points above you, I should say, like there's a difference. You feel the difference. All of a sudden you're like, man, we don't click anymore. It's a communication gap. Yeah. It's hard. It's, you're almost like you're speaking a different language. Yeah. And so you're right. We have kind of egged each other on over the years in self-development, self-growth on many level, not like just fitness, but also in mindset, also in communication, also in decision-making. Also, you know, fill in the gaps, right? Work ethic. Work ethic. I'd say. Work at like, I thought I was super busy as an entrepreneur. I thought until we start a fit-body boot camp. And then it's like,

oh, wow, look at all that. I can time manage better and start a whole new franchise. And so with that, like, you know, you're a mom. You've written one, two, the three cookbooks? I mean, two and a half. I did a book. I co-authored a book and I did two of my own. All right. Three books, two and a half, whatever you want to call it, right? Yeah. And then, of course, you're my partner and everything that we do here at HQ with Trulene, a Fit Body Boot Camp, and all the coaching businesses, and the equity that we have in other companies and the CFO of Fit Body Boot Camp and overseeing teams and decisions. And with that, there takes a level of emotional resilience and decision-making and, well, control of the human animal. And so

let's talk about the human animal because I think it is an absolutely an understanding, an unfair advantage if you can take your human animal and control it and make it a human being connected to consciousness and you do such a great job with your metaphors and your explanations of it. So what, let's start there. What is the human animal that we talk about? Okay, well, before we start talking about what it is, I do want to share like how I started even thinking about this topic or getting interested in this topic. And it all started, It was a dinner in L.A. at a steakhouse with Tom and Lisa Billu. It was actually the first time I ever met them.

And we were having a great conversation. He's from Washington State. And so am I. And we touched on the subject of religion. And I know how that happened. How that happened? When I did Tom's show, I came back with a basket of goodies. They give, like, the people that are on their show, basket of goodies.

There was two books. One of them was Joseph Campbell's Power of Myth. And the other one was, oh, shoot, it was a female author, and it was about being, like being open mind, growth mind. Growth mindset? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes. Is it growth mindset?

I think it's just called growth mindset or open, oh, man, I, all right. Well, leave in the show notes what it is. But do you remember that? Susan something. Yeah. Yes. Suzanne Jeffers? Duac.

No. Duque. Suzanne Jeffers was, Feel the Fear, Do it anyway. Yeah, yeah. Growth mindset, I think it's. Yeah. And then I never picked up that book from. Joseph Campbell than you did.

Well, because, okay, in the conversation. So Tom and I, you know, grew up in the same part of the country. He's a little bit older than me, but we were kind of comparing childhoods. And I think that, you know, I grew up in the Christian tradition, like heavy duty. And it's, I think, if I'm remembering correctly, he did as well. And he just dropped the name. He's like, you know, the book, The Power of Myth was a game changer for me. And we kind of just moved on in the conversation.

And it was like two months later that we were taking. taking a trip to Rome. And it was kind of in the back of my mind ever since that conversation. Tom, someone I respect, and it was like, hey, this meant something to him. I'm like, I need to investigate it, you know? And so I downloaded it,

and I listened to it for the very first time as we're flying to Rome. And then we spent a few days in Rome, and I remember walking around the Vatican, and I had one ear pod in, and it was, I had Joseph Campbell in my ear, and it's like, looking at the Sistine's Chapel

and, like, walking around, and just the impact of his words and where I was. And this is kind of weird. And this has never happened to me before. But I couldn't stop listening to this audiobook. And for, you know, if people haven't ever listened to it, it's an interview. So Joseph Campbell was a professor of comparative religion for 38 years at Sarah Lawrence College.

And he just spent his entire life studying every real. religion and mythology known to man and looking for similarities. So I'm going to stop you right there, though, because if you're listening to this right now, guys, you're thinking like, wait a minute, I don't want to talk about religion and mythologies. You said this was going to be about being a high performer and how I could operate at a better level in business and in life. Yes. Trust me when I say stick with it, guys, we're getting there because this is going to open

your eyes in a crazy-ass way if you are willing to be open-minded, growth-minded, and just let down the wall and trust the show. Remember, the show has never let you down before, and we're not about to let you down now. I know that you might believe in Christianity, Catholicism, whatever, who's the Muhammad? Islam, Buddhism, right? Whatever your belief system is, just pause just for a moment and go, but what if this was true? Yeah, so Joseph Campbell, and I was brought up in the Christian tradition, like hardcore. And he studied all of, basically.

Now I say hardcore. What do you mean hardcore? Hard core. What's hardcore Christian? Hard, well, my definition of hardcore Christian was my whole life all the way through college. I went to Christian, you know, Christian education. I have a minor in Bible. Church was just part of life. I went in my elementary in high school years, it was a Christian reformed education system, which is, you know, there's a lot of rules and there's just, it's, it's, it's, it's pretty strict.

It's very strict. Way of, I guess, accepting, understanding Christianity. Yes. It's very black and white. It's very strict. It's very us versus them. It was a very, like, yeah, just constricted way for me to be growing up. Got it.

Us being Christians, them being secular people. Yes, correct. Okay. Anyone outside the church. And even within the different types of Christian churches, like a lot, just a lot of division. And it was, you know, so obviously having just a deep understanding of the Bible and having, you know, like a minor in Bible is like that's, yes, I know a lot about the Bible study wise, but I still had so many questions. And I almost feel like I've always felt like there's just this mystery of like, like, why are we here? What is how do you get to a place where you are at peace? And essentially, I didn't know what I was thinking. but how do you get to a place where you are in control of the human animal and you are connected to consciousness?

This has always plagued me and I couldn't find those answers in the Bible and I'm listening to Joseph Campbell walking around Rome and he's just dropping these truth bombs and these incredible insights from and he's hopping all over the world and all over history pulling these insights and it was almost like, you know, like you're in the desert and you're drinking water for the first time is how I felt when I was just hearing all of the these insights. And so, again, this has never happened to me. I'm not like an obsessive person, but that was three years ago, and I listened to that audiobook three times a month. How many times thus far have you listened to that audiobook? Over 100 times. I know it by heart, but I'm, and when I try to explain to someone like, I'm not crazy, but every time I listen to it, even though I know what he's going to say next, I'm at a place now where I'm just, there's more depth because mythology, it's all metaphors. It's metaphors to try to explain and communicate about things that we don't have words for. So one of the things that, the themes that would come up in

these interviews, because Joseph Campbell looked for similarities across all the religions and the mythologies and all the different people in history. What are the similarities, right? Essentially, what's the answer to the puzzle? Yeah, so let me stop you right there. As you're listening to Joseph Campbell for the first time with, you know, it was on our way to Rome, on the plane as you're walking to do, the Vatican, coming from a very strict Christian background, was there some part of your brain like saying, no, no, this can't be true?

Because all of a sudden it's like screwing up all the narrative that you know. No. And here's why. Why? Because it doesn't screw up the narrative that you know. It helps you understand why that narrative was there. What was the purpose of that narrative? The metaphor, the story of Jesus of him dying and being resurrected, when Joseph Campbell explains

the point of that, it's not a history lesson. If you turn it into a history lesson, which is how it was taught to me, then it loses all of its vitality. Because Christianity, all religion. teaches it as a history lesson. As a history lesson versus a metaphor. A metaphor for you. So instead of when Jesus died on the cross and was resurrected, you're thinking about somebody 2,000 years ago, the metaphor is you, Bezos Kulian in 2021, need to die to your animal nature and be reborn as the consciousness. Stop right there. You are speaking craziness.

What is my animal nature? So animal, the way... So you need to die as your animal to your animal nature. What is my animal nature? Because I'm a human being, am I not? The way that I understand us as humans. And again, I think a lot in metaphors. It helps me understand things, right?

And so I think of us as two things put together. So there's the human animal shell. You're a physical being, right? You're born, you get to the age of 35, our body declines towards its destiny with death after 35, and you have a life cycle and then you're gone, right? Your human animal shell. But then there's the consciousness. There's that ultimate source of your being, that piece of radiance.

If you want to call it a soul, if you want to call it your connection to the universal mind, your ability to have a connection with the universal mind. that spiritual part that every human has the potential for. Potential for it. Yes. Tell me more. So your question to me was, what is our human animal nature? So the way that I understand it

is we all have that spark in us where we can be connected, but we cover it with so many layers, and it's the human animal layers, and the mismanagement of our human animal that covers it up. And essentially, your human animal nature is you disconnected from the ultimate source of your being, the consciousness, the radiance. So what are some of the layers of the human animal? What is the human animal made of? The human animal.

So your physical being in this physical world. So the very first thing is your physical body, right? And so many humans today more than ever, they do not care for their physical. body. And so a physical body that has poor hygiene by way of a buildup of fat store on the body, just mismanagement of nutrition and hydration and sleep and substances. Well, I love that we're going deeper into that, but I want to go even deeper. When you say managing your body and managing your physical hygiene through nutrition, obviously there's sleep involved, there's hydration, as you said,

Like, we know people who, I don't know how to say this, like, die. We know people who haven't poop for like a week or poop once a week. Right, your pipes. Your pipes, right? That cannot be good for your performance in life. In any way, whether it's in a relationship with a spouse, your kids, your friends, or in decision-making for a business. Right.

That's internal hygiene, right? That's poor internal hygiene physically. So the human animal has poor external internal hygiene. Yep. That's the first thing. So the shell that you live in is in a poor condition, which is going to only add friction and block you from consciousness. The second thing is our minds.

So so many people today have such noisy, distracted minds because we just let things in, right? Mindless scrolling, mindless listening, mindless watching, negativity. You know, inside of our minds, there's like the chatter voice. And then there's consciousness, right? And most people, they have poor mental hygiene to where they're not protecting their minds. They're letting all these things in. And now that's another layer to block you from consciousness.

Because the consciousness voice, it's quieter. You have to, you know, quiet the chatter to ever have a chance of connecting with consciousness. So the conversations that people hear in their head is not necessarily consciousness. It's chatter. It's noise versus you know that you're connected to consciousness. How? What am I looking to feel? What is a person looking to feel? Because when I know the answer, so I'm trying to help you kind of bring it out for our audience. But the chatter and noise brings on anxiety, stress, overwhelm, fear, fear, uncertainties. That's all lives with the human animal. Consciousness has nothing to fear. Consciousness is... Is it clarity? What is consciousness?

There's peace, there's clarity. Michael Singer does a really good job in his book, The Untethered Soul, where he talks about connecting to yourself as like you're the observer. And you're in this place. So if you think of yourself back to your two things, right? You're the human animal and then that consciousness, that piece of consciousness in you. The human animal has the chatter and the fear. The consciousness has nothing to fear because it doesn't pass away the way that the human body does. The way that Joseph Campbell explains it, it's almost like if you're sliver of the,

universal mind when your physical body passes away. It's almost, it gets absorbed into the universal mind. And consciousness just doesn't have anything to fear the way the human animal has things to fear. So how do you know it's consciousness? Yes, there's clarity. There's this peace about it. There's this feeling of being an observer rather than feeling of being in it and being fearful in it. And we know the difference. But the biggest thing for me when I'm like, whoa, am I, is this my human animal coming out? It's like, is this emotion essentially rooted in fear? And if the answer is yes, if there's anything distressing or negative about it, it's your human animal, if there's just clarity and peace and like observation. And then when you're in that space,

these like little wisdom bombs drop on you. And it's like, oh, okay, more clarity. So, I mean, if I'm listening to this, I'm thinking, so I need to meditate more? Meditation helps, but can we go back to the layers that we do? Because the first thing is uncovering the layers. So we talked about our body. So keeping your body in good condition, not only, you know, the shape that you're in, but we talked about internally, right?

like having your pipes clean and just having good hygiene. Yeah, nutrition, hydration, sleep, cleanliness, obviously, and of course, or I guess, really hygiene of the mind. Yes. So your body, your mind, and then we get to the heart. Now the heart, it's the heart of the human animal is really closed in fear. And we hold a lot of traumas and things, but it's all around fear and protect myself and close myself.

to others around me. So a human animal, just this body in bad condition, this noisy mind, a closed up heart, and then the next layer is the environment that we keep around us. When we have just a cluttered, disorganized, chaotic environment that we live in, that's another layer that's going to block you from consciousness.

So weeding through all these layers is the first step to getting yourself in a place where you even, I believe, even could have that connection and that feeling with consciousness. And so how does one know if they're like, all right, I think I'm going to start taking this journey. Because I'm hearing you say, really, if you're a human animal, you're probably a little irritable in your relationships.

You're, I don't know, stressed, overwhelmed, anxious, white knuckling through life. you're making impulsive decisions, your feelings govern a lot of your thoughts and decisions. Whereas consciousness, you're the observer in what you see and you have so much more clarity and peace in the decisions that you make. Am I saying this right? 100%. Okay. So with that said, well, if I want to have a successful business and I want to have a successful and happy life with the people that I have relationships with, it makes sense that I started making this climb towards consciousness.

What's my first step? So going back to the layers, I think the first step is really get your body in good shape, right? Clean up your hygiene. Quiet your mind. And it's not just, oh, do I meditate for 10 or 15 minutes in the morning? It's creating a lifestyle of protecting what goes in. What are you listening to? What kind of noise are you allowing in?

because that's what's just going to be happening in your mind. What is the biggest influencer? Like if you're like, hey, people need to do this one thing to quiet their mind. Like, what did you do? What was the one thing of the many things that's a good place to start to quiet the mind? It goes to protecting what comes in. So being intentional and selective about what you're letting in. Okay.

So Dan Sullivan says, the thoughts that occupy you. your mind, which is exactly what you're saying, be careful of what you let in. Yes. Information, news, media, social media, et cetera, right? The thoughts that occupy your mind. And then the people that you surround yourself with are the two determining factors of success, Dan says. And so as we kind of turn towards consciousness, how do you filter out all these things?

Like, I have to be connected to social media. I have people around me that are family who I love. Like, are you saying I just disconnect from all of it? Is that possible? No, and I want to bring up Napoleon Hill. I know you love the book Outwitting the Devil. And I love Napoleon Hill's take on it. And he didn't call people human animals.

And to your point earlier, like, if we're a human animal, like make no mistake about it, every single day that we wake up, We've got a human animal and we've got consciousness, and they go back and forth between who has the wheel, right? A lot of people, the human animal never lets go to the wheel. But even those of us who have climbed and gotten to a place where we can access that consciousness, you're going to be hopping back and forth.

It's just part of the struggle. So it's not like, hey, I became human or human being consciousness. I'm good. Check that box off. Wouldn't that be nice? Am I hearing you say it's kind of pretty much like your fitness? Like if you want abs, you have to maintain your abs. Yes.

In the kitchen, in the gym. 100%. Okay. But going back to Napoleon Hill where he talks about, well, he talks about drifters and the hypnotic rhythm and how, you know, you're saying, well, how do we get to a place where we can have a clear mind? And it's really, it's building in that discipline and then doing it long enough to where, you know, like he calls it the hypnotic rhythm.

And I just think of it as the pull of the universe. inertia. Yes. It wants to perpetuate what you're doing. And so all of these things with your body, your mind, your heart, learning how to open it and keeping it open when it's uncomfortable and it's going to shut down. I think of it almost like a sea an enemy where it's like, you know, but you've got to just keep it open, right?

Yeah. But it's being vigilant with the practice until the pull makes it easier. Being vigilant with the practice until the pull makes it easier. In other words, until the habit is formed. Yes. A ritual is formed. because once you have a habit, because everyone watching and listening to this, you guys all have a certain morning routine that you do. You get out of bed, you're probably shower, you drink your water, you brush your teeth, you go poop, whatever it is that you do.

It's a habitual function. You shave, et cetera. But the bottom line is when something becomes routine and habitual and rhythmic, you're more likely to stay in it. Yeah. And so the body is always a great place to start. And then, of course, the mind. Have you meditated before? And I honestly don't. Don't. It's funny that we're married, but I don't know because I don't know if you come to HQ, you get here before me. And if you meditate or not.

I definitely connect with consciousness and I sit with that. I do that in the morning. I do that as I'm falling asleep at night. But I try to do it throughout the day, for sure. How does that look? Like when you do it, when you connect. with consciousness, your form of meditation. So there's many things that I do as anchor points in my environment and in my habits to keep

me there and to keep me bouncing back to there. One of them, it's a very simple thing, but I have my candles everywhere. You know this. At home, at the office, I have my candles that smell good. And it is a ritual for me to light my candles and to have the flame there because for me, it reminds me like that flame, that flicker is reminding me of my consciousness and the smell of it. It's this, it's this anchor point for me to put me there. Another thing is I'll do what Michael Singer talks about in his book, The Untethered Soul,

where I love how he describes it. And this is one of the most effective ways when I was first starting to connect to consciousness to get me there. And he says, imagine that you just in your mind, you yell out and it echoes and you say, hello, hello, hello. And if you do that and you wait, your consciousness, like the deepest part of you responds. And you can almost like grab it and then hold on to it. And then you, they talk about like the third eye and like right here. Yes. So I'll have my eyes closed and I will focus my energies almost between my eyes, the back of my head, the third eye, and almost like pull it up.

I hope I don't sound super weird right now. But you feel it and you connect with it. And in doing so, the human animal, like, you know, Diana Koleon who's 40 years old and is whatever, the CFO and writes cookbooks. Like I almost feel like that just sort of like falls away and it's just you're connected with consciousness and all these things just don't matter. And it's the, the most... Your physical identity goes away. It's not there.

But the struggle and the human condition is that we're both things. Because I am a 40-year-old mom who's working and dealing with the stresses of life. And I also have this potentiality to connect with the universal mind. And it's two halves of a whole. And so learning to balance the two in a way where you are able to, you know, be at peace with the life cycle and with the fact that, you know, this ride is going to end and know how to relate to. to the earth that you come from, the universe that were part of,

the society that we're in, using this to just make it a seamless existence, which when you look at primitive societies, and look at tribal people, they had it so good by way of, they had these mythologies, these traditions, where they just explained these,

big concepts with imagery that just gave them, you know, it taught them how to live a human life and to enjoy it. One of those ways, this is conversations that we've had over coffee, was that they weren't connected to the happenings of what was going on in the tribe down the river. Right. They didn't know, in other words, the news. Right. Right. Because our brain can only process so much information. Right. And so, like, oh, my gosh, there was a, there's a giant fire in Baltimore. And I'm in California.

And now I'm hand-wringing over the fire in Baltimore. And, like, what can I do about it other than create more noise and static and stress? And that's where we get back to, why did you have to hear about it? You know this, we don't listen to the news. Right. I mean, in 2020 was the only exception because the whole world was shutting down. But we don't listen to the news because you've got to control as much as you're going to. you can, what goes in? Because that fire has no implication on your life. Now, a few months ago,

when we had a fire across the street here, guess what? That mattered for your life. That mattered. But you saw it. It was right there. So, so really the simplicity of living like, again, I don't want to just simplify it to live like a caveman, but it really is the idea of like focus on what matters and then let go of everything else that we try and get. and process and deal with and control because we can't. Right. We can't. And spend more time with your consciousness at the wheel than your human animal.

How do you know when your human animal's kind of sticking its head up and trying to take over the wheel? It's always about fear. All anxiety, anything, if you're, you're feeling. feeling like frustrated or fired up about anything, sad. Like it's all wrapped up in the human animal. My understanding of what the human animal encounters, I have a couple of other images that really help me to describe external resistance and internal resistance.

Because the human animal, we as human animals, we are bound to our ego. How do you see our ego? And this definitely comes from Joseph Campbell because he does reference this and it comes up in other mythologies throughout the world. But the binding of oneself to one's ego, it's your dragon.

And so, you know, our dragon, it just helps me so much to have this image. So you're saying, when do we know when it's the human animal that's kind of like rearing its head? Well, I have, I take it one step further where it's like, is this my dragon. And my dragon, the dragon does a few different things,

but whenever you have any kind of doubts or negativity or uncertainty or self-sabotage or any way that you yourself are trying to stop your growth, stop your momentum, get yourself stuck in a loop, that's your dragon coming out. And so you know me, I have like my little dragon figurines. I have one of my desk, I have one at the house, because, again, these things like my candle,

it keeps me anchored there because there's the physical world that we see that our human animal lives in. And then there's the energy and the spiritual world that we deal with all day long, but we don't see it, and we don't necessarily have language for it. So for me, when I see the dragon and maybe I'm having self-doubt

or my ego's coming out in some kind of way to have this personification of it's, It's my dragon. And not to sound crazy again, but I'll have conversations with him. And I'll be like, okay, buddy, all right, let's talk about this. Like, why are you trying to take me down this rabbit hole? What is the fear at the root of this distraction that I'm dealing with right now? And where are you trying to take me?

I know you're trying to get me off track, because that's what you do, because you're my dragon. Where are you trying to take me and kind of follow it? I'm like, okay, because he knows how to trigger you. So Kevin, my therapist, calls that the golden thread. It's funny, I'd never connect with those two dots. You've told me about the dragon many times, and I understand it as the ego. And I do know that fear, uncertainty,

all those things kind of trigger the dragon to wanna start taking over. And he says, follow that golden thread. Just how does it look if you, and where you're trying to take me? And what's the outcome that you want? And it kind of diffuses all the way. The fear, the uncertainty, the down,

out, doesn't it? So many things, yes. And I've found that when it is the dragon, it always comes back to fear. And, you know, getting to middle age, there are so many ways that the ego comes up when it relates to aging and fear about that, getting past your prime. Like, there's all these triggers throughout life, but tracing it back to that dragon. And for me, like, he's just like this goofy character, but he's behind you and he's in your ear. And so when you can't see him, you think that voice is you. You think that voice like, maybe that's consciousness.

Like this, maybe this, you know, it has validity. And it's not always about self-doubt or about distraction. Sometimes it's about how you're perceiving others. And the dragon creates blind spots for us. Oof. Oof. Ego does create blind spots for us. So let's talk about something just for a moment.

If you're connected to consciousness and you've listened to Joseph Campbell's audiobook over a hundred times, and that is not an exaggeration you have. Guys, I'm weird. And sure, you hear, fear, you sense, doubt, and you're like, uh-oh, the dragon. And you start asking like, hey, buddy, where are you taking me?

What is the outcome that you want? Why are you doing this? What are you afraid of? And you defuse it. Yes. But we know that most people haven't gotten to that place of consciousness and self-awareness to be able to ask the dragon questions. Instead, they deal with, they feel the fear, they feel the doubt, the uncertainty,

and then they go, I'm just going to eat that away. I'm going to ignore it. I'm going to avoid it. I'm going to distract myself through screen sucking, social media, food, pornography, alcohol, you name it, drugs. So, self-destructive cycles. So how does one like stop that? I mean, do you just, how do you stop it to turn around to the dragon and go, hey, buddy, how are you feeling?

Why are you doing this? Just even knowing you have a dragon and having just when things start to feel out of control or you start to feel yourself sliding. We have all this terminology in our language to describe stuff that happens. on the energy side. Like, I'm sliding back into my old habits. Like, energy, right? And so when you become aware, even just, because we have so much insight.

We have so, our gut gives us so much wisdom that we ignore. And that is the consciousness. Like, hey. Is that what it is when someone says I have a gut feeling? That's consciousness talking to us? And how often do we just stifle our gut feeling

and then do what? Layers and layers and layers to stifle it. We do the popular thing instead of what our gut, tells us. Yeah. So you have to be evolved enough to a place where you can identify human animals taken over because the human animal can be controlled by the dragon. And the dragon's tool is fear, right? But as much as even like in fitness, we like, people are like, what's the one thing or in business? What's the one thing I can do? The fact is, I keep going back to the layers.

you've got to do all the things. You can't have a body in bad condition, have a noisy mind, have a closed heart, have a mess of an environment, and do one thing to now you've got your dragon under control. You can't. Am I hearing you say that how you do anything is how you do everything? Yes.

And so you really have to do everything. Correct. Right. And that may seem like a tall order for folks listening to this, but I don't think you or I are saying attack everything now. Like, pick the one thing, your fitness, is the thing you can control. Like, don't go picking your relationship, because that's another human. And you don't know if that human's ready to make that decision.

If they're ready to commit to taking this journey of consciousness and going up the cosmic mountain, right? But you know what? I can control what I put in my pie hole, like right after this. I can control if I'm working out tonight, right after this. And so maybe I start there. And as that becomes this hypnotic rhythm, as Napoleon Hill talks about it, I add another positive hypnotic rhythm to it. Body, mind, heart, environment.

And now you're setting yourself up to be at a place where you can identify, that's my dragon, here's how to connect with consciousness. And so to that point, as someone's taking this journey up the mountain, and we know this, look, there's just less space. When you think about how a mountain is shaped,

there's just less space. There's more awesome things, up top, but there's just less space. So not everyone's gonna fit, right? And as we go towards that awesome thing of consciousness, self-awareness, success, happiness, fulfillment, significance, are there anything blocking us from getting there,

stopping us from getting there? That's such a good question. So we know our dragon is doing his best. But yes, the dragon's the internal resistance. There's external resistance. Good Lord, so now we gotta fight two. things to get to the higher place? It's rough. Being a human's rough, man. Yes. And that's why so many of us live in misery and in fear. But yes. So very much like gravity. So physical world, if you're

going to go and climb a mountain, there's gravity, right? It's pushing on you. It's not a personal act against you. It's one of the laws of the universe, right? Or the physical world is gravity. Stop right there. You hit such a beautiful nugget. Folks, she said it so, just a matter fact, it is not a personal act against you. When external resistance happens, when shit goes wrong, whether it's a someone who crossed you did something bad, stole clients, copied your business, a former business partner split up and is doing the same thing, still half the clients, it's not an act against you. That is literally the resistance required to get up the mountain is what you're saying. It has to happen because matter wants to stay in the same place,

right? Here in the physical world, matter wants to stay in the same place. inertia. We touched on that before. Well, it's the same with the energy world. So if you have this creative forward movement and you're progressing and you're growing, there is a pushback against it. To me, I picture it like a bear. And I picture it as you're ascending the mountain. The bear is guarding the mountain and his job is to make you earn it. His job is to get you to give up. How does the bear show up? The bear shows up in so many different ways. And I, you know, 2020 was such a great example. In my mind, it's like 2020, the bear just took a bunch of steroids, woke up and we're just like, I'm going to mess everybody up. But look at that. So last year, we had to tell our franchisees,

close your doors. And we had to figure things out, right? And so, The bear shows up as a global pandemic. The bear shows up as an employee who goes sideways and causes, you know, a couple weeks of your time and your progress to go down the hill. The bear shows up as anything outside of you that's being, feels like it's being done to you. A car accident, cancer. Someone says, I want a divorce. I'm breaking up with you. I'm quitting and it's not a good time for this person to quit.

Yes. It's external, this resistance against where you're trying to go, against your progress, and it's just there to get you to give up. So what's going to happen when I get past that bear? So I stayed in the fight. I got past that bear, but I'm looking up and there's still another level I want to go. Yeah. Well, the climb never ends and the bears never end. What can happen as you get accustomed to this is that the bear can become almost like a sparring partner as opposed to just this scary force that you're, you know, it's like this attacker.

You can get to a place where it's like, and I feel like in business we've really gotten there where it's like, okay, we knew there was going to be a challenge. Like any seasoned entrepreneur or, you know, as parents, like nothing's going to go according to plan, especially when you have big audacious plans that you're going to do, which we do that. You're going, if you don't meet some resistance, there's something wacky going on and it's just about to hit. There's always going to be something acting against what you want to try to get you to give up. So what I'm hearing you say is the higher I go up the mountain, the more awesome my life becomes. My business becomes, my relationships become, my health becomes. I just want to keep going up the mountain. However, the bear is constantly going to show up.

And that bear sometimes, like the year of 2020, will take steroids and we'll gain a massive amount of intelligence and speed and attack you from this way to that way. But I'm also hearing you say that the bear is a sparring partner, almost like the way I pictured it in my mind is. you know, when Ray's in town, Ray Cash Care, former Navy SEAL, when Ray Cash Care is in town and we go work out together, I mean, truth be told, I do have better workouts. It's almost like he's a workout partner. And it sucks working out with him. He's a beast.

But the workouts are better. Yeah. The results I get are better. And so as you say the bear is a sparring partner, if I'm going to go way up there and the air is thinner, but life is better, then I need to be better conditioned. Got to be stronger. So I need a sparring partner.

and I need to, you know, have my cardio up. And I need to have a better lung and heart capacity because the air is thinner, but the view is more beautiful. And so the bear is there for a purpose, isn't it? Not necessarily to distract us. Without the bear, you wouldn't, I like how you said, like your lung capacity and your strength, like without the bear giving you almost like that workout

of resistance to push through, you wouldn't be strong enough to be up there. It's the bear forces your growth. So if you want to be up there, You have to be in this condition, and the bear's going to get you there. The bear is going to get you there. The bear is needed. The external resistance is needed.

But the human animal, when the human animal encounters the bear, it's the fear again. It's the fear. I'm going to lose my business. I'm going to lose, you know, whatever it might be, that you feel like you're going to lose or that's at risk, and it's that fear. And then that's your human animal, right? And so when you realize, for me, when I can picture a bear and I got my little, a little bear on my desk and it's like, again, hey, buddy, okay, cool.

You know, like, just got some notice, like, you know, in the mail that I got to deal with, whatever it might be. And it's like, okay, cool, cool. You showed up like this today, Bear. Okay, all right. Well, I know you. I understand you. There's a really big lesson in that.

We've spent enough time now 20 years in business, almost 20 years in business where we know when we're going to launch a new business or when we take equity, you know, we had a new company to our portfolio. we know the bear's going to show up. And we just don't know how. We might take some guesses. But we don't know how it's going to show up. But it's important to just know that it's going to show up

and be prepared for it so that you're not surprised by it. And it's not personal. It's not personal. That is such a powerful thing. It's there to condition you. It's necessary. For the next level. Yes.

So let's talk about the realities of life. Most don't go past the first bear, let alone the second, third, fourth, fifth, and so do they just give up? Like, what happens to those that just stay at the bottom of the mountain? Well, I think we see that. We see that in people. It's what is your standards for your life? Like, what do you want to experience in this life, right?

And what do you want to set out to accomplish and achieve? So what happens to people who are like, yeah, nope, the bear's there. I'm going to turn around. I'm going to go back. My dragons tell me this. I'm just going to like, it's cool. I'm just going to settle. And, you know, Napoleon Hill talks about the drifters.

And we know he says there's 98% of people are going to live a life without definitiveness of purpose. And they, in my, you know, metaphor, they're at the bottom of the mountain. And they're not going to push past the bear. And the dragon's going to have them there in their own little personal jail. And that's, I mean, I'm not saying that's okay, but that's just, that's life. You know, look at fitness. How many humans that you see walking around are crushing their fitness? Sure.

It's no different with your spirituality and your connectiveness to consciousness. And just, if you are the way Joseph Campbell says, it's like, are you honoring your lower nature or your higher nature? It's easier to live in your lower nature. It's easier. Here's a good way, I think, to end this episode, which is, and what happens when you're climbing? Because I get this a lot in my DMs. When I'm like, hey, you got to do this, you got to have a morning routine, you got to start working out, drinks their dants of water. It's like, but, Bedros, I do, but I've got a spouse, a husband, a wife, a partner, or whatever, and they are not.

So what if someone starts taking embarking on this journey? I'm going up the cosmic mountain. I want to get up there. I'm willing to fight the bears. I'm willing to have those conversations with my drag and die. But my partner is not on board or it doesn't feel like he or she is. Like, what's the plan? I mean, do I just divorce or is there a way to get them on board?

That's such a loaded question. It is. Solve it. It's like everybody is, every individual, you know, has their own journey. So I don't have, there's no one-size-fits-all answer for that. I will tell you this, kind of going back to how we started, about how we've kind of egged each other on and self-development, this has been a very beneficial partnership for both of us in that way.

And I think it was Gay Hendricks, an author who said he compares a good partnership, marriage to putting two jagged stones into a burlap sack. If that's like you're getting married, you're going into the sack, and then just someone is just shaking it year after year after year after year. So we're at, you know, 20 years now. And then when you open that bag up, you've got these two smooth stones because it's the colliding with each other that smooths out our edges and that helps us in our own individual journey.

And so your question of almost somebody, the person I'm with doesn't want to do that healthy colliding and that egging on with me, what do I do? I don't have an answer. Well, I think that is the answer. It becomes common sense. If you only have so much run on this earth. And I think we all have a duty and an obligation. Like one thing I'll share with you is, I think everyone listening and watching this knows that every Monday, morning, I send out that Monday morning email.

I've been doing it for seven years now. There was like a seven-month period that I stopped doing it, but otherwise been doing it for seven years straight. And I remember a few of our team members over the years have reached out and said, all right, B, well, finally your email started to make sense, and I don't watch TV late at night anymore, and I don't eat heavy carbs at night, and I go to sleep early, and I wake up, and I have a morning routine. And you know what?

my spouse or my boyfriend, this one particular person team member, was like, my boyfriend isn't on board, should I just break up with him? And I had to remind her, I'm not going to use her name, let's just call her Susan. I was like, hey, Susan, how many years have you been getting my emails before you start acting on it? She's like, well, it's probably like on the second year that I started to take him seriously and actually doing it. I'm like, so two years that my emails have been falling on deaf ears, once a week. And now all of a sudden you're, you know, this higher version of yourself

and you're ready to dump this dude. Like don't you think you have an obligation to maybe help this person along on their journey until you realize they're just not going. It's a dog who's digging their heels in, right? So I do believe we have that obligation, but at some point, kind of like the military rescue swimmers, at some point you're like, hey, look,

you're an American soldier, I'm here to save you, you're drowning. And if they're still panicking and climbing on top of you, they're taught to punch him in the face and swim away because two people aren't going to die today. Yeah. I would bring up, though, depending on the situation, we talked about the dragon and how the dragon likes to create blind spots for us. The dragon also likes to make all the problems in your life because of other people.

Like, I'm having this issue. It's because of her. I'm having that issue. It's his fault, right? The dragon likes to convince you that anything that's going on in your life that's not good is someone else's fault. So I would say if you're feeling like, oh, it's my spouse's fault or it's my partner's fault, is some of that you're dragging creating a blind spot for you where you are blaming them for things. Now, if it is the case where their heels are dug in, they're like, nope,

I want to live in a messy house and I want to listen to garbage and I want to eat garbage. You know, it's a different story. But it's always worth, you know, whenever you feel like the problem is outside of you and the solution's not here to just dig a little. Like, okay, dragon, are you trying to, are you trying to tell me that it's their fault? But really, you're covering up something I need to change about me. And what you're just leaning into is maybe what you need to change about you is having more patience and have passion, empathy. Yeah. Yeah. So it's, it's definitely worth doing some digging as opposed to just you're not, you know, living the life I'm living right now. See you later. Yeah. Well said.

And for our friends who want to maybe learn more about the way you think and operate and follow you and connect with you, where do they go? I'm on Instagram, Diana Kulian. At Instagram, Diana Kulian. And, of course, guys and gals, as you're listening and you're watching this episode, be sure to take a screenshot and put it up in your stories, share it, get the word out, pay it forward, and make sure you tag Diana and myself. And, of course, as always, don't forget to tell your mama. We'll see you later. Thank you.