Bedros Keuilian Podcast Show - 188. The Self Sabotage Habits Destroying Your Personal Growth

Episode Date: May 5, 2026

42% OFF - Get your Digital Man Up book + Audiobook + 2 Exclusive MASTERCLASSES https://bit.ly/manuptribeOPEN A FIT BODY LOCATIONA High-Profit, Scalable Gym Franchise Opportunity Driven By Impacthttps://bit.ly/bedrosfbbIndecision. Bad food. Alcohol. Procrastination. Staying broke. You think these are just bad habits? No. These are self-abuse. And today I'm going to call you out on it — because nobody else will.You only get one body. One brain. One shot at this life. So the question is: are you treating it like the gift it is, or are you running it into the ground?Let's talk about it.

Welcome to the Bedroes-Cooleon Show. What if you secretly hated yourself? What if you had this actual pattern of self-abuse and didn't even know it? That's what we're going to talk about today. Guys, welcome to the Bedros-Coolian show. My name is Bedros-Colian, and today's episode is exactly that. What if you hate yourself and you are living in this pattern of self-abuse and you don't even know it? So let's start off with this story I'm going to tell you. Imagine this. Imagine that when you turn 16 years old. So if you're much older than 16 like I am, I'm 51, think back to the time you were 16 years old and you took that driver's license test and you got your driver's license. Now imagine if I came by and I'm like, hey man, congratulations. You just got your driver's license. Now here's the catch. You don't have to buy a new car. I'm going to give you a new car of.

brand new car of your choice. And you're like, holy smokes, man, I'm excited. Thank you so much. Like, yeah, man, no worries. You're welcome. However, there is one tiny little catch. This is the only car you can have for the rest of your life. You're never allowed to buy another car. No one is never allowed to sell you another car. This is it. Whichever new car you choose, I'm going to pay for it and buy it. But this is the only car you have for the rest of your life. Now, knowing that fact, what would you do with that car? Would you maintain it on a regular basis, right? Change to oil, do the maintenance on it that's routine, make sure the tires are rotated,

make sure that the heater and air conditioner is working. If you get a bump, a scrape, a dent in it, you make sure you get that thing fixed. You make sure that you garage it and you wash it and you take good care of the exterior and interior. Why? Because that is the only vehicle you have for the rest of your life. The good news is you got it for free as a gift. The bad news is, well, it's the only vehicle you have. And so you want to cherish it. You want to take good care of it, right?

And so if you look at it that way, there's this other side of that coin. And the other side of that coin is you. Guys, quick interruption to the Bedroskulian show. I want to tell you about the Man Up bundle that I have for you for $29. and 100% of it goes to Shriner's Children's Hospital, where we're going to do a lot of good and you're going to build an awesome business and have a great life because of it.

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and the breakthrough blueprint masterclass is all about breaking through your limiting beliefs, breaking through uncertainties, and breaking through to get to the next level of happiness and success in business and life. Best of all, you get all of this for $29 because you watch and listen to the Bedros-Colian show. And I'm donating 100% of that money to Shrinas Children's Hospital where they do a lot of good and give a lot of surgeries and medical services to kids whose families can't afford that. So go to manuptribe.com and get the Bedros-Culian Manup bundle before it all sells out. What if I said that God gave you that only body and that only set of beautiful brain cells that you have in your head and gave you one potential and purpose in life?

That's it. This is it. And this one run at life here on this planet, what would you do? Right? It's the same car analogy. You know, we can take good care of a car knowing that it's our only car. We're not allowed to ever get another one. We can't buy another one.

No one's going to sell us another one. so we have to take care of it and be good to it because it has to last us, right? And it has to get us to our desired destinations. However, when you think about the body, the brain, and the purpose that God has given you, it's the only one you have, yet we tend to abuse it. And why is that? Maybe there's a level of self-hate. And maybe that self-hate shows up in a very different way.

And I'm going to talk to you about that because if you are a person who is living in this state that I'm about to describe to you right now, you might be doing this thing called self-abuse or low-key hating on yourself and you don't even know it. See, recently I put up a social media post and the post said the highest form of self-hate and self-abuse is indecision. It's poor nutrition. It's drinking alcohol. It's procrastination.

It's not exercising. It's being overweight and fat. It's staying broke. and all of these things truly are the highest form of self-hate and self-abuse. Because if you truly love yourself and you know this is the only body, brain, instead of purpose and potential that God has given you, why would you ever poison that beautiful body, your brain, or ruin your potential and purpose and never really reach it, right?

Now, because God has put that purpose and potential in your heart does not mean that it's going to be, boom, factory installed, and you're going to know exactly what to do for your life's meaning and work, it's not. When God puts a sense of purpose and potential in our heart, what you're feeling is, you know I'm here for a reason. Like, that's what you're feeling. You don't know what the reason is. And so if you can relate to that, you're on the right track, right?

You're like, man, I know I'm here for a reason. I know I'm not here by accident. I know that I meant for more and I know I should be doing more, but I'm not doing more. But if I did do more, I might over time discover or develop what my life's purpose is. And I might be able to take that purpose to its highest potential. Right. And so that is our life's mission. And every man needs a mission and a meaning assigned to him.

Because if we don't, we're going to end up like my dog cookie. I've told you guys the example that the dog trainer told me about my giant dog cookie. She's part Mastiff. She's part German Shepherd. So she's a huge dog. And I love Cookie to death, man. She's 11 years old now. She's getting old and hobbling around.

But she still has so much love and so much light in her eyes. But when we got Cookie, she was six months old. She was a big girl. And she was already 80 pounds. And you could imagine having a big dog, especially a family that only had small dogs. No one in my family knew how to manage. of this dog, not even myself. And so Cookie would just pull the kids around on that leash and cause all types of chaos in

the backyard. And so we got a dog trainer to start working with Cookie. And this dog trainer worked with Cookie for about three weeks in our backyard. And over time, Cookie became more disciplined. She knew how to heal. She knew how to walk. She knew how to sit. She knew how to roll over, twirl, shake hands, all of it.

like she became a well-mannered, well-disciplined dog, who was no longer causing chaos and dragging the family members across the backyard. However, on that last day of that third week, that dog trainer came to me and she said, look, I got to tell you something, this dog being a German shepherd mastiff, they are purpose-driven dogs. They need a routine in their life. They need a sense of meaning.

And so it is your job to give this dog a sense of meaning and purpose and routine because if you don't, she's going to do a lot of damage in your backyard. And I go, can you explain why? She said, well, this dog, like I said, needs to have meaning, to have purpose and to have a sense of significance, right? A routine. And if you're not kicking the ball with her every morning and she's playing fetch, if she doesn't feel like she's protecting the property or she's not shepherding your kids around,

then she's going to start getting depressed. and when a dog like this, whose meaning and purpose-driven gets depressed, they begin to dig holes in your backyard, to give themselves a sense of purpose. They start damaging and destroying your backyard, to give themselves a sense of purpose and meaning so that they have a routine.

You see, in the absence of routine and purpose, you do go out and find something to do that is self-destructive, like the dog. Now, so I made sure, that every morning, I kicked the ball with Cookie 10 or 12 times and tire her out. And she would be excited to come out of the house and play fetch 10 or 12 times in the morning and then eat her breakfast. And when my kids were small, 11 years ago, they'd be running around in the backyard and

Cookie was always shepherding them and looking after them and making sure that they are safe. In fact, one story I can tell you is when Andrew and Chloe, my son and my daughter, they were swimming in the pool. they would be on one end of the pool and they would duck underwater and swim to the other end of the pool and Cookie would look at me like, where did my kids go? And all of a sudden the kids would pop out

from the other end of the pool and cookie would get excited and she'd run over there and try and look their face in the pool because she knew that that was her sense of purpose that those kids were meant to be protected by her and shepherded by her. Now imagine if I disregarded what that dog trainer said

and say, ah, you know, Cookie will be fun. She'll figure herself out. She'll run around the backyard. Well, she would have gotten depressed. She would have gotten sad. She would have gotten anxious like these dogs do. And she would have started digging holes in my backyard.

And that's what we do as humans, especially men, because men must be meaning and purpose-driven. And if we're not, then we begin to dig holes in our life. And those holes show up by way of pornography and alcohol and weed and social scrolling and video games and gambling and wasting time and binge watching television and doing all these things other than the thing that you ought to be trying to develop, which is your purpose, your life's mission, your life's work. See, because God put that in your heart and what you feel in your heart in that moment when you're feeling a little anxious and you're feeling depressed, that is God showing up and slapping your ass around and saying, look, dude, I've put purpose.

in your heart. I've given you a great sense of potential for you to go and reach. I've given you this physical body to be able to use, to do things and a brain to think and ideate and come up with solutions to problems. But instead of doing that and using your body and your brain and the sense of purpose that I've given you, you instead go and poison yourself. And you escape from the realities that you're experiencing. And the reality is the depression and the sadness and the anxiety and the overwhelm. And that's because you are not in line with your conscience. And your conscience, what you're hearing and feeling, that whisper in the back of your head. That is God's true voice telling you that you are wasting your life, your potential. Right? I know this because

I was there as a young man. Hey guys, quick interruption to the Vedderos Kulian show. Listen, if you're like me and you love fitness, you love helping people and you love being an entrepreneur, you might want to open up a Fit Body Boot Camp gym. Doesn't matter what day of the week, what time the session is. Fit Body Boot Camp locations are full of clients getting amazing results. With hundreds of locations across the United States and Canada, we are helping people burn fat and build muscle while helping entrepreneurs like you develop business models that are successful and have recurring revenues. So if you think FitBody Boot Camp might be a great business model for you, then I want you to go to fitbody bootcamp.com. I want you to click the franchising link, fill out the application to see if there's a territory available in your town and your area. And who knows, if you're a good fit, we will invite you to the Fit Body Boot Camp family. Now back to the show.

I was there as a young man. It's kind of like that car that I told you in the beginning of this story. If you took that one car that you're going to have forever and you decided to be abusive to it, it gets dented, leave the dent there. The tires balled out and you don't care and you never change the oil and soon the engine's leaking. And before you know it, the windshield wipers aren't even wiping the windshield and the car's barely functioning and it's completely unpredictable. Soon it will break down far ahead of its time and then you begin to suffer. Now think about this. The car is the vehicle and when you get inside the vehicle, you are the operator of that vehicle,

aren't you? And if you abused that one car that you were going to have, if you took it for granted, if you neglected it, if you didn't take good care of it and it broke down early, you as the operator inside of that vehicle now have no way of having transportation to get around. The same is true for our bodies. See, you might think that your body and your mind are one. They are not. Your body is the vehicle. your mind is your consciousness, your awareness, your self-awareness. You have it is energy. That's your soul. That's your spirit.

And the body is the vehicle. And the mind is the GPS. That brain, that beautiful brain in your head is the GPS, which says, I think I'm meant for more. I think I can sense a feeling of potential within me that I'm supposed to do something bigger. I'm not here just by accident. And then you start doing things to start developing and figuring out what your

life's purpose and meaning should be. But if you don't, then what happens is your conscience begins to talk to you in the way that it knows how. And it shows up by way of feeling overwhelmed, anxious, sad, depressed. And instead of listening to it and saying, uh-oh, I am incongruent with what God wants from me, what my conscience expects of me, and then getting congruent and exercising, eating right, no longer procrastinating on the things you need to do and actually making the decision to launch in life and to stay launched and to start making yourself the money, taking care of your family, building your wealth, creating a stoic life that is purposely built for exactly what you're meant for,

you begin to medicate yourself with alcohol, with weed, with food, with social media, pornography, like I said, gambling. You name the vice. It's out there. And so I share this with you because it truly is the highest form of self-hate and self-abuse shows up as just trivial things that you don't think are really necessarily big things. Like, so what? So I'm indecisive.

That's self-abuse. That's self-hate. Look, poor nutrition. The fact that you won't eat right, the one vehicle that you have that you need to maintain, you are literally made of everything that you consume. Everything that you eat and drink is what becomes who you are, this vehicle that you are. If you decide to exercise, go out on a run and do some pushups and pullups and work out and and things like that, you begin to build strength, endurance, function, mobility, flexibility in your body.

So the food plus the movement, you now have a functioning vehicle just like that car. And then your beautiful soul says, holy shit, I'm proud of this vehicle that I have. It's got abs. It's got pecks. It's got guns. I am ready to go out and find my purpose, figure out what my mission and life is, and reach my highest potential before I die, because one day you will end up at the gates of heaven. And as my friend Ed Milet always says, could you imagine getting to the gates of heaven?

And St. Peter's saying, well, here you are, Bedros, do you want to see what potential God had for you? And I go, sure. And he goes, well, look at that guy. That is Badros at his highest potential. And I want to be able to recognize him. I want to be twinses with that guy. I want to look at that guy and go, bro, fist bump. We did it.

My greatest fear would be to look at what my highest potential is and not recognize who that person is because that person that God had made for me to become is far more developed and better condition with more light behind the eyes. And I chose not to take the action to become the guy, right? And so I'm sharing this with you guys because if you're operating in this place of self-hate with indecision, poor nutrition, drinking alcohol, procrastination, not exercising, overeating,

being broke and in debt in an economy like this where everything is super expensive, cost of living is through the roof, gas and groceries, rent, you can't control those things like gas, groceries and rent, but what you can control is your time, is your work ethic, is the effort that you put in and the solutions that you find to the problems that people have so that you can create a business, a product or service

to solve problems that people have in exchange for money and make more money. Even if that means if you have a career or a job and you work for someone, maybe something that you can do on nights and weekends to generate yourself for an extra couple of grand, $3,000, $5,000.

It begins to compound and who knows maybe one day you quit your job and you go full time into entrepreneurship and you realized that was your purpose. That was your life's mission. And it had to be difficult because life needs to be difficult, just like going to the gym is difficult. Could you imagine if you went to the gym

and you just needed to bench press and squat and curl and do any exercise you do just five pound dumbbells? You're like, oh, that was easy and I looked jacked. No, you have to have progressive overload. You got to keep using more weight. You got to get stronger. do more sets, more repetitions, put more plates on. And as you do, the body develops.

And as it develops, it gets stronger. It gets more resilient. You pack on more muscle. You look amazing. That is exactly what life does to you. See, all of life comes to us with resistance and obstacles and challenges and setbacks and really, really awful things like family members getting cancer and getting sick and getting fired.

These things happen. That is life. We are fallen. However, understand that your job is to take all of that and overcome it. And when you do, you develop more resiliency. You become more resourceful. You are more mentally tough. You become emotionally resilient.

And when you do, you are able to achieve more in life. And like that one card that I promised you earlier on in the show that you would take great care of, that you would not abuse or neglect because it's the only one you have of your life, your body is the same thing, my friend. So if you're doing these things that are obviously a byproduct of self-hate and self-abuse and you didn't even realize it, here I am telling you, realize it, my friend. But now there's a solution. What is the solution? It's simple.

Do the opposite. That doesn't mean you've got to go into the gym six days a week. Just get two or three workouts a week in. That's it. Where your nutrition is concerned, just remove one bad thing out of your diet, maybe soda or energy drinks, or that fake coffee from Starbucks. it's actually the equivalent of a fucking Burger King hamburger in a cup. Did you know that the average Frappuccino from a Starbucks has the same amount of fat and calories as like a Big Mac sandwich or a Burger King mega sandwich?

That's ridiculous, right? You're not even drinking coffee. You're having a high calorie, high fat, high sugar, dessert coffee. Right? So cut out one thing out of your life and your nutrition that's bad for you. You add just two days of exercising in your life. And it could be in a gym, it could be outside at a park with doing pull-ups, push-ups, and sprints. You know, when it's time to make a decision, I'm not saying go make multimillion-dollar decisions,

but just start making better, faster decisions. What am I going to wear today? What am I going to do? And then keep your word, keep your promises to yourself. And when you keep your word and promises to yourself by making decisions, not procrastinating, and then keeping those promises, you begin to build your credit with yourself. What is credit with myself? Credit with self is called confidence.

If you ever wonder, how do I build more confidence so I can start taking action and not procrastinating and not being indecisive? Keep your promises to yourself. And each promise you keep, you stack little micro wins, W's, and each of those micro wins stack up to bigger wins. And soon you look back and you go, holy shit, I say I'm gonna do something and I do it.

I am a promise keeper. And because I'm a promise keeper, I have high confidence, and that's a high confidence. credit score with self. And that, my friend, is a man that you could love, respect, and admire. And that's how you go from self-hate and self-abuse to self-love. Guys, I also want you to join me on an upcoming masterclass. If you love fitness like I do, if you want to help people burn fat, build muscle, and are thinking about the idea of maybe becoming an entrepreneur and opening up your own gym, I want to invite you to the

Fit Body Boot Camp Masterclass that's taking place on May 14th at 5.5. P.m. Pacific time. It's a free masterclass. I'm teaching you everything that is required to open up and operate a successful gym. I'm going to teach you how we do it here at fit body boot camp. And if there's a territory available near you and you decide after that master class that you want to become a fit body boot camp owner, I'll even show you what the next step is. But for now, I want you to go to FBBCmasterclass.com and register for that upcoming masterclass taking place on May 14th. I can't wait to see you there. And also remember this, that average is the enemy. Success is your responsibility and change can take place in an instant if you are willing to flip the switch. I'll see you

next time.