Bedros Keuilian Podcast Show - 192. CONQUERING LIFE'S RITES OF PASSAGE

Episode Date: August 3, 2021

Sean “Buck” Rogers comes to HQ to sit with Bedros on The Empire podcast during the weekend of The Squire Program! Sean drops tons of gems regarding the correlations between life and combat, the shocking revelations he’s had from his life experiences, and he walks us through his journey that led him to being a successful content creator and entrepreneur dropping value to thousands who are looking to improve and serve. " 0:00 - 0:40 Introduction  0:40 - Bedros introduces Sean to The Empire Army, and the specifics to Sean’s bigger purpose for being at HQ  3:14 - Bedros asks about the young Sean’s upbringing, parental influences, and how he grew up to be who he is today  20:40 Sean touches on his relationship with his siblings & how they maneuvered the situations they faced  26:20 Regarding Sean’s book, he asks how the family has since responded to it 29:14 Rewinding back, Sean explains the refuge in his Dad, and the GAMES he was forced to play with The POLICE 40:00 Bedros helps clarify the lay of the land.. 46:59 - Sean walks us through his after high school life and some mishaps on his journey into adulthood 54:10 - Bedros asks Sean how he flipped his switch to make progress on his life and Bedros goes back and forth on stories along the way  1:05:30 - Sean tells how the light was sparked towards joining The Army and how the spark was fanned into a flame 1:14:09 Sean tells us about the chapter in his life with The Denver Police Department, and the happenings through 2020 1:18:20 Sean explains what led him to working solo and taking his success into his own hands  1:24:18 Bedros asks Sean about “rituals” and the symbolism behind them 1:29:30 What are some goals ahead for Sean when it comes to entrepreneurship? 1:36:05 Sean flips the script and asks a question for Bedros to answer regarding transitions of success 1:44:13 As Bedros closes this episode out, he asks Sean how he got the nickname “Buck”    Connect with Sean “Buck” Rogers : https://www.instagram.com/seanbuckrogers/   Get his Book here - https://www.seanbuckrogers.com   Subscribe to his channel, The FNG Academy https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCt3rz2NOIXEpp5NZPG0VJSQ   Connect with Bedros Keuilian : Instagram https://www.instagram.com/bedroskeuilian/ Facebook

Are you capable of showing up as this elite person and your asses sweeping the floors and cleaning the shitters? Do you have the ability to be humble and to understand your place on a totem pole? Do you understand that you don't know anything? Can you embrace that? And so it says a lot about who you are when you are able to embrace these rituals because you know that it adds to the overall bond. Hey, welcome to The Empire Show. My name is Bedros Kulian, and this is an inside look. And today we're going to talk to someone who is a pretty cool cat.

I started watching him on YouTube and his channel was called the FNG Academy. And he's out here today because later tonight we're doing Squire class number three. And we've got 40 dads and 40 sons. And what's really cool about this scenario is that one of the particular young men in the class, his mom had reached out to me and asked me if there's any way she could participate in it with him. And because we said, well, no, not really. You know, we need a male figure.

Does he have an uncle? Does he have a granddad? And the answer was no. So I reached out to this guy. And I was like, hey, man, could you be like a surrogate dad, older brother figure for this guy? And he said yes. And he's out here. And I'm just fascinated with what he's doing and excited for him.

So ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Sean Buck Rogers. Welcome. Thanks, brother. Yes, sir. I appreciate you. First off, thank you for your service. service. Like many of our friends that have been on the Empire show, you've served our great nation. I appreciate you for that. And I appreciate you for stepping in for young Malachi tonight.

I appreciate you having me do that. That's more of an opportunity for me in all honesty. And I told Malachi when we talked, he said, oh, thanks for doing that, man. I was like, thank you. Like, this is just as much as experience for me as it is for you. Yeah. You know, it's so cool. And I told my wife about it. She was like, that's going to be amazing. Like you should feel so blessed that this opportunity was provided. Right on, man. I appreciate you for that. So you were a green beret and you're currently a creator on YouTube.

And FNG Academy is a freaking awesome channel. And thank God for the way that YouTube's algorithm works. And I was watching my friend John Lovell, Warrior Poet channel. I was like, oh, if you're like, John, you're going to love this guy. And I was like, holy smokes. That's cool. Great content. I love the quality of how you, the quality in which you shoot, that blue background, very kinky.

I'm wondering if freaky shit happens back there. Oh, of course it does. And so anyway, we'll take a tour of that part of your life and how you're transitioning into an entrepreneur. But I wanted to kind of get to talking because you've shared. in your book and on your YouTube channel about you know the young Sean growing up and you know the disadvantages that you had and how you had to course correct in life so where were you raised and how did this whole thing how did young Sean come about so I was raised in feeling California which since we're in California we're going to stop by there tomorrow get some footage of it just

because it's been where is that northern California Southern yeah so it's like on your way to San Bernardino County, like on your way to Vegas, you'll pass by it. So it's just out in the desert, desert town. Gotcha. But it's like the roads, I have to always explain this because it's such a weird place. Like the roads are super washboardy. Yeah. And you're just, all the houses are miles deep into these like super washboard dirt roads.

So we're kind of out and just doing our own thing, you know, like people just stay away from us. Lots of meth, you know, cooking out there. I was just going to ask you. Just like one of those kind of every now and again a trailer blows up. Yeah, yeah, that's exactly. Well, we don't know why. It's just spontaneously combust. Sure.

You know, but. So that's where I'm from. And, you know, my dad left when I was one. And my mom and I got in a car accident together. And she was doing like 60 miles an hour down one of these dirt roads. Because I tell people all the time, there's two ways to drive on those washboard roads. Really, really slow or extremely fast. And if you go fast and you'll skip right over them.

and it's not just rattling you to pieces, you know. So she opted for fast all the time, and we were doing about 60 down this dirt road and a car pulled out with T-boned him. How old were you when this happened? So I was probably like five or six. Okay. So you kind of remember it?

I saw nothing at all from the accident. Really? Yeah, from the accident. So my face, I didn't have a seatbelt on. My face hit the front windshield, and there's actually the windshield had an imprint like that from my face. I'm just broken glass. So I smashed.

I had my tooth. When I woke up in the hospital, my tooth was like through my lip and my face was a little messed up, Maddie of stitches and stuff. But that was for me was kind of the point when I remember things really changing for my mom. She injured her back and then all of a sudden she's on all these doctor, you know, all these medications and things like that. She just never got out of bed. and she just, the opioid addiction, like, crushed her.

It completely changed who she was. Did she develop an addiction to it? Oh, yeah. Gotcha. Yeah, I mean, I've been standing in doctors' offices with them arguing at each other. And, like, him telling her to get out where she's going to call the police. And then we would go to different doctor's offices and do that until I watched doctors, like, legitimately get so tired of dealing with her that they would just write her prescription to get rid of her. So she always put, you know,

her addiction before us so yeah addiction is powerful yeah it gets you on every level um did she has she ever tried getting off those opioids not that not that i'm aware of okay um i think i think one of the the hardest things for her you know throughout her life is that she she adopted the victim mentality yeah and so it's always just someone else's fall you know if my dad only paid child support if if this didn't happen or if that didn't happen. It's just always on somebody else. And unfortunately until, you know, she learns to stop doing that and takes some responsibility, she's just going to be stuck in the same cycle.

Sure. You know, I'm 34 years old and she's been, you know, doing this stuff since I can remember. Right. You know, so I don't see a change anytime soon. Yeah. Has your dad been active in your life since they divorced? No. So it was kind of a weird thing that happened, right?

Because I didn't know them at all from one. I think I met him when I was like 14. Whoa. Yeah. So what my mom used to do is tell us that he was this evil person. And she always threatened us. So we're scared of everybody. Because, you know, sometimes people will be like,

why don't you tell somebody you had all this abuse going on with the boyfriends and stuff? And it's like I have an older brother and a younger sister, a half sister. Yeah. And when my mom, she's always telling us if child protective service, comes, they're going to take your sister and who knows what's going to happen to her in those halfway houses. And they're going to split you guys up and you're never going to see each other again. And what if your sister gets molested in one of these halfway houses because, you know, you told child protective services and they take your way?

So we're always living in a constant state of fear of everybody else. And it was the same for my dad. My dad was this evil person who's going to take us away and he's just this, you know, horrible human being. And then finally at about 14, I was like, I was like, look. Listen, anything has got to be better than you. I want to talk to him. And she said it like a threat, and she called him, and he answered, and then he flew out to California, and I met him for the first time. Really?

And what was your impression of him having had this narrative set by mom for all those years? What was your impression of him when you met him for the first time? I liked him. I respected him a lot. He was a successful business owner, and he had a restaurant out in New York. Ferdonia, New York, and it was just this cool place. We ended up going and visiting them, and it was wild to grow up so poor, and then to know that, and like, you start to feel that your lineage is just this poverty and shit, basically,

right? Like, I'm just this white trash kid, and, you know, everyone looks down on me because I have no money and I'm dirty. And to then, all of a sudden, like, this is my dad, and he has a restaurant and people are respecting him and like treating him like he's this hot shot. I'm like, what's happening? But it felt really good. It was like, it felt for the first time that I could be proud of, you know, a parent.

Yeah. And so I thought that was a cool experience. Did that do anything for your self-esteem once you realized, hey, my dad's somebody that's respected? Yes. It felt like, okay, which is weird, right? You think that, you know, it's on you. Well, your life is on you. You have a new start.

you really do pull a lot of that from your parents. You know, and to watch my mom just do terrible things of people and to always act in this horrible way, it made me feel like, you know, I don't come from anything, so how could I produce something better than myself? And then to see him, yeah, it was in my head as a youngster, like, I do have some success lineage, you know, and so I do have that in me, and I could do better than what she's doing.

Yeah, that right there, what you're saying, man, and what you're sharing. is massively powerful because oftentimes people accept the narrative that's put on them by their mom or by the kids who bully them or whoever. Maybe grandparents, you know, adopted them. And so grandparents say, you know, your mom and your dad were dead beats, whatever. And we've seen all that. And this becomes almost like a blueprint. Well, if I come from a group of losers or if I just have this, I'm only meant to be white trash or druggy or a loser, you begin to act it out. You almost begin to then unfold that blueprint in your life.

Oh, yeah. And then all of a sudden you meet someone and you're like, holy crap, like I come from someone who's respected, someone who was able to create his own personal economy. Wait a minute, maybe I have that in me as well. Absolutely. I might have this, but I also have that. Right.

Yeah. So that's a powerful thing. Do you have a relationship with your dad now? So that was a weird thing. So I ended up deciding, after visiting him, I was like, this is a way better life. You know, because my mom, her boyfriends were nuts. Like, at one point, you know, I watched her get her head slammed into a wall so hard. I thought he killed her.

Holy smokes. She was out. How is she, this is, you know, I'm asking you in hindsight. Yeah. How is it that she, because you said her boyfriend's, plural. So I'm guessing there was a pattern of shitty men coming through. into your life, your sister's life, your older brother's life. Looking back, how do you think that she was picking her men?

Just whoever crossed her path. It's just like within that, you know, shitstorm that she's creating, other people who are drawn to that drama, you know, they find comfort in it. And it's like these like-minded people just connect. So relatable people, people who are addicts. Absolutely. People who have lower standards of expectations of themselves. Right.

Right? Like attracts like. You know, because one of them was an alcoholic. One of them was, you know, meth. Foof. I'm trying to think if there was any outside of those ones. But there was always some form of addiction with the boyfriends. You know, so I think that they just shared that commonality and fed off each other.

Sure. Probably a codependent relationship. Yeah. Yeah. And so my mom started with the pills, but then she met a guy who's an alcoholic, and then she mixed those together. And I think that she found that she could stretch out her pills by adding the alcohol to it. And then now she was, she's drinking like nonstop, you know, and then taking the pills on top of it. So it was just, it was a mess. And then, you know, the manipulation, she was always going after everybody. And because everyone knows her, right? So now she's, you know, trying to attack everything.

everyone around her for what they should be giving her. So, but I went to visit my dad. And I was like, I'm definitely leaving this and I'm going to that. That's a way better life. Now, you were 14 at that point when you talked to him. How soon after did you meet him? Pretty shortly after. So I think like all in all is like 14 to 15 like that from the time I turned 14,

or I mean, sorry, was 14 turned into 15. I ended up moving out. So it was a pretty quick turnaround. Gotcha. He came out and visited. He's like, you guys need to come to New York and see how we live. And I was like, let's do it. I went to New York and we're sitting on the front porch and I'll never forget it.

Even though I was 14 or 15, he hands me a glass of whiskey and gives me a cigar. And he had Cubans. He's like a huge fan of Cuban cigars and he's got hundreds of Cubans. And he said, and, you know, he owns a bar, so he loves whiskey. And he handed me a glass of whiskey. and, you know, most people might look down on that, but to be treated like a man, you know, and to be given a little respect and to know that this is family,

this is, you know, like I said, this is my lineage. I was like, this is it. So I sipped whiskey, smoked a cigar with them, and I told them on that portion, like, I'll be back. I don't know how I'm going to get back, because obviously my mom's not going to let me go, but I'm going to figure this out. I'm going to get back here.

And so that's what I did. Gotcha. So before we go to your eventual move to going back to New York, I'm curious because, again, we're, you look at the nation, man. It's like over 50% of marriages now and in the divorce. And just because mom and dad divorce doesn't mean dad's not active in a child's life, male or female. But the odds are they're not there on a day-to-day to influence. Right. Right. And then you look at the other 50% that are still together, those dads, most of them, from just what I could tell, anecdotally, seem pretty checked out.

Checked out, into their own shit, screen-sucking on social media. And we see youth growing up, and the youth is unclear in their own personal direction, and their own life's mission and their purpose, any of that. So they might lean into drugs, into violence, into bad grades, into whatever the vice might be. And so I'm just curious in your scenario, you know, mom and dad weren't together, and all of a sudden these boyfriends are coming through.

And you're seeing one boyfriend, you said, smash mom's head so hard into a counter? What was it? Yeah, he slammed her into a wall. To a wall. To a wall? And then her head bounced off the wall. And she just collapsed at that. Yeah. What's running through your mind as you're seeing this? I thought, I thought honestly that he was going to kill her. If not right then, if it didn't just happen, I could see it in his face that that was his intention when he got that drunk. Yeah. Was he disconnected from her being a person? Wow. She was an annoyance to him. And obviously, she's, You know, every Sunday, so in that household, every Sunday was the same.

They'd have a barbecue, and he'd start blaring Tom Petty, the best of Tom Petty. And, God, Tom Petty's so good, but I can't listen to it anymore. I was saying good choice of music, but it's probably choice for it. Yeah, I can't do it. Yeah. So he'd start blaring Tom Petty, it'd be noon, and they start drinking. And at first, you're like, and he's cooking. I was like, this is a new cool thing.

Her new boyfriend, maybe not so bad, or doing barbecues like normal people. Yeah. And then by five o'clock, six o'clock, they're hammered. And now all of a sudden they're arguing. Then plates are being thrown at each other. Then tables are getting flipped. Jesus. And then they just keep drinking through these fights.

And it just keeps escalating and escalating. So you try to stay away, you know, stay in your room, lock the door. And then you could just hear, like, the house being destroyed, you know, and them, like, fighting each other. And then at some point, you feel, and this is kind of a sad realization that I literally just had, which it just sucks. is that as a kid, you know, whether it's, it's happened so many years, 10, 11, 12, I, you feel all of a sudden and realize that you are the most aware, conscious person in the room. You are the only one that is maintaining any level of normalcy or, you know, so you feel obligated to go out and try to stop the constant progression of this fighting or at least intervening.

or at least intervene from him killing my mom. So we would go out and try to get involved. And in this particular instance, she was going to leave and she was smashed. So he was like, you're not going to drive. So he tells my brother, he's like, take her keys and throw them outside. So me and my brother are both like just trying to get them to stop fighting. We obviously don't want her to go, you know, drive right now and crash her car. So my brother throws the keys.

And she goes, I'll just go find them. And she goes to push past him to go outside, and he just grabs her and then slams her, boom. And her head bounces off the wall. She hits the ground and her eyes just roll back in her head. And I look at my brother and I was like, she's dead, dude. And we start shaking her and she won't wake up. And I look up at him and he just looks at her like he doesn't care at all. It was like he was almost like he was happy about it.

And he looks at her and then he would disgust and he just turns and walks away. and she's still unconscious so we're you know trying to wake her up and then luckily she came too but that was a moment when I was like this dude's this guy's gonna kill her and how old were you in that moment uh I was dates are tough for me because I really blacked out a lot of that but I was probably like 10 to 12 yeah yeah that that's a time when our brains are still forming and you began to I'm guessing you were always walking on egg shows, waiting for the next shoe to drop and always in a state of fight or flight. Yes.

Because I can relate to that. I didn't have a slew of boyfriends coming through. My parents' house, my dad was just angry when we first came to the United States and things weren't unfolding the way we thought they would. So I could remember actually having to make sure my feet I would wear socks that would slide easier on the lullium floors at one of the Section 8 housings we lived in. And when I would turn the doorknobs of the restroom, I would turn slowly and you kind of

push it in so it doesn't squeak because one little noise from me or the doorknob or the door closing could trigger an all-on thing. So I can relate to you what you were feeling, which kind of tells me the direction that you went. Because then you go to one or two directions. You either end up being a predator like that or you become a protector and provider. So what kind of dialogue, if any, were you having with your brother and your sister at that time? Because you're the middle kid and you're like, what the fuck? Yeah.

So my brother, my sister, we tried to just shield her as much as we could. And luckily, she, from what I could tell and, you know, paying attention, they didn't focus on her, you know. And I think partly because I think my mom actually, like, tried to protect my sister. And then my brother and I were just to targets. Sure. So likely we just took a lot of their efforts. But me and my brother, you know, there was a time when I just hugged him. And we're not hugger people, like really emotional.

me and my brother about what we were going through because we felt like we were just fighting to to stay alive and to, you know, keep pushing through. But there's one time when we're at this, another boyfriend's house and I just hugged him and start crying and he's like,

he's like, you know, I got it. You know, I got you. How much older than you's your brother? Two years? Two years you said. Yeah. Thanks for sharing that, man. Are you in contact with your brother now? Yeah. Yeah. So, I mean, that was, that was tough on him, right? Because he's the having to be a protector.

Yeah. You know, take on that role was a lot of responsibility. And unfortunately, you know, he's still, he's still struggling to try and figure out, like, what his place is, you know. Sure. I think, from the best that I could tell, if I had to, like, you know, sit him down and tell him what I think is kind of troubling him a little bit, not that he's doing bad, you know, he's working really hard. He just got into mixed martial arts to try and get offload some of his aggression and, you know, his frustrations. But would I just think that his desire to protect us? Eventually we didn't need protecting anymore. And I kind of felt like he found people that did.

And so he kind of always had himself involved in relationships where people were tripping and fallen. And he would always, you know, well, I got to be there for this person. Oh, they need me. Sure. And then they just kind of kept them. in this, you know, stagnant state. And he never really figured out how to move forward. There's a lot of truth to that.

You actually nailed it. And what ends up happening is what happens in our formidable years when we're young and we realize, okay, I guess that's what I'm supposed to do. Like, this is what I did. I had to protect my younger brother, younger sister, my mom, the best I could look after them. And when you guys move on, his sense of purpose begins to diminish. And so you go and you look for, literally,

might end up finding another addictive person who's got a turbulent life that's unpredictable, et cetera, so that you're always the man on the white horse galloping in to save the day. It creates a pattern. And it's interesting because probably from the outside, you see it, you notice it. I'm curious whether he's caught on to that. Have you ever shared that with him? Like, hey, I think this is what might be going on. I put it in the book.

Yeah. Hopefully he read it. And I think you read it. He told me you read it. But, you know, it's still that part, our relationship right now is a little bit strange because we're brothers. We love each other. We have a good relationship. But at the same time, this, you know, what I'm doing with my life, especially now because it's talking about our past and it's bringing all that back up.

and then it's just it's polarizing us a little bit and so it makes it tough because before when we were together you know fighting because we would fight like when we started

you know hitting 15 16 I would go out and visit and you know I will let loose you know someone badmouthed my brother then we were throwing hands and we're getting into some serious fights like there were points

I've seen people at parties we were at, and my brother would walk out, and I was like, where are you going? And there would be a fight, and a dude got hit and passed out, got knocked out. He ruptured his spleen. He almost dies. The cops get called. The owner goes to kick some of the people, because he's just feeling people. I mean, there's a lot of gangs. People won't play around, you know, and the owner of the house goes to kick out everybody of the party.

well some of the guys at the bar he didn't like to get kicked out so they started jumping him and they're stomping his face you know and and i saw like the lights from the cop car hit his face like when they finally broke up he couldn't even recognize him anymore so but i guess when i was getting at is when we were doing that together like we were both kind of in unison about our direction and so we had so much more in common in common right and we were fighting together you know yeah yeah and now it's like it's like it's my path is just going off on this direction that it's almost hard to to have that connection as much as we used to things aren't as relatable yeah right yeah yeah and that's that's normal um i think our viewers know this i'm not the most uh bibleish type of person but in the bible they call that

maybe at one point you guys were equally yoked and now you're not um and that's no fault of your own you've chosen to take the one path and he's chosen to take or stay on another um and that happens and i can tell you from personal experience life comes to us in phases and just you know it's it's just a phase of life but as you're now talking about and unearthing all this on your YouTube channel and in your book yeah i could see how that might create some tension some polarizing effect in your relationship with your brother has your mom reached out to about that and been like hey what the fuck what's going on why are you talking about this oh yeah well she her reaching out is just threats.

Still? Yeah, oh, yeah. I mean, she, the last I heard from her was, I haven't talked to her in like a decade. And the last I heard it was, my brother was, I was on the phone, my brother. And he goes, oh, Jeanette's calling her mom. And he puts it on speaker. And it was just like slurring, incoherent. Now I'm going to own him for everything he has.

And I'm going to take his house. And I can't wait to be living in his house. And so she's, she's just. still attacking. She's just still trying to, she just, the minute somebody has anything, she just goes after him with everything she has, you know, in this like, you know, animalistic, aggressive, you know, low weight. It's not even, like, think about that.

You're my mother talking about wanting to take, I have two daughters, your granddaughters, that I've provided a great life for and that is the biggest pride of my life. and you want to kick them out of their house so you could live in it. Like, what kind of person thinks that way? But that's the kind of things that comes into her head. And she just thinks that, you know, now because I'm, you know, finding success in a way that's people, you know, on social media, things like that, you know, and not just keeping it to myself. Yeah. That somehow I owe her now.

And it's like, are you crazy? You didn't buy my house. You didn't pay for this. You didn't work for this. Like, I'm sorry that you've never put yourself in a position where you could own your own home. But just because I did does not mean that I owe it to you or that you just somehow come take it. You know, and that mentality just blows my mind. But you see it so often.

People are, they just love being victims. Yeah, it's prevalent. Well, because being a victim is celebrated now, especially now in 2020, 2021. And the more that people can play the victim card and check all those handicapped boxes, of, you know, their minorities, the more boxes they're going to be checked that I'm a victim, the more they're celebrated and they'll accept any attention over just positive attention. Like negative attention is not something that's coveted normally, but it's become this thing that's coveted and looked for and people wear it as a badge of honor today.

But I think we talked about this at much. I think it's just, it's the 90s all over again with social media, simplifying political correctness. But that aside, so did you at some point move to live with dad? Yes. So, and that was a hard, that was a crazy situation. So I basically had to, I knew I had to, like, escape. Yeah.

So what I did was, I went back to the house and I was like, I started packing my stuff, but I didn't want her to know. So I started, you know, leaving a mess in my room, but then packing the stuff I wanted and hiding it in the closet. Yeah. And then once all my stuff was packed, I called my cousin was like, hey, I'm going to need a place to hide out for a little bit, you know, will you help me? Like, obviously, I'll need a ride to the airport. I can't drive, all these things. And she's like, yes, so whatever you need, I'll help you out.

I was like, sweet. So that's in line. And then I called my dad. It's like, okay, I need a ticket. And he goes, well, first, the cops are just going to bring you back. So you need to figure out what they're going to need to not bring you back. Because I used to run away from home all the time. Where would you run to? Where would you go? I had family members. And that's the sad part about it is like my uncle rickie is an amazing dude and he was always like i'd love for you to come live with me like you always come with me but we can't because the minute we go she just calls the cops and the cops are there within the first day they bring you back get in the car she's got custody you can't run you can't just go live with whoever you want and so we played this game so i would go

and i'd live the the one night of peace and i'm like man i'd just love to stay here and just live a normal alive and then you know but your stomach's always in knots because sure enough within 24 hours there's the cop car pulling around the corner pick you up wow so so I said that my cousin says she gave me ride to the airport I called my dad he's like I'll get a ticket but you got to figure out what you're going to need to do sure to not get called back I said okay so I called the police in New York and I said what do I need for you guys to not take me back to my mom and he was like uh I would he's I would not take let them take it back where I would not pursue this if she called,

if you had a letter giving your dad custody. Because he's your parent, you know, and he's not a stranger or family, he's your parent. If you could just get her to sign something saying, I'm releasing custody to Joe, he's like, I'm telling you just, you know, for me, I won't pursue it. I was like, okay, what do you want it to say?

And he goes, have it say this. So I wrote it out. And I was like, all right, now I've got to get it. Now you're 15 as this is happening stuff, right? Because just come back from dad's house. You're like, holy fuck. We smoke the cigar. I drink whiskey. He treats me like a man. I've got this awesome lineage in me.

And so you're literally asking this cop in New York. Like, hey, tell me what to write. And you're transcribing it. Yep. Awesome. I fucking love that, a problem solver. Yeah. Hey, I got to get the fuck out of here.

What do I got to do? So he's like, so I write this thing down and I'm really, I'm looking at this a note, like, there's no way she's going to sign this. And so I was like, what do I do? So the first attempt, as I took a school note and then I cut out the signature block. and then I had it underneath and I was like, oh, just fool her into signing it. Which would have not worked.

So I'm glad it worked out this way. So I handed the thing and it was on a book with the school note over top and the signature spot cut out. She looks at it and immediately sees that it's cut out. She's like, what the hell is this? And I was like, damn it. And so she listed up and she reads it

and she just starts laughing. She goes, I'll never have to sign that and throws it at me. And I was like, well, plan B. And I was like, I know that she is 99% her emotions all the time. So I was like, I don't want to live with you anymore. I'm done. Like, you need to sign that and let me go and leave me alone.

And so she starts cussing at me and doing her thing where, which looking back is just so bizarre how normal it is. Like for two people, a son and a, you know, mother to just curse at each other and call each other names. Like that was normal like, F you, you, like. Like, I could imagine my kid talking to me like that. And I'm ashamed that I talked to her like that. But we would both go back and forth. She's cussing at me. I'm cussing back.

But I was like, you know what? This is my chance. I'm going to get her so mad that she just says, screw it and see if she'll sign it. And that's, and it worked. She's like, you know what? Give me that effing note. And I'll sign it. It doesn't mean shit anyway.

So I give her the note. You know what this reminds me of I got to tell you. You know, when Wiley Coyote is constantly trying to catch the roadrunner. And every time he sets up like a little trap. It fails, right? So the first one failed, is like, fuck. But one day that roadrunner is going to get caught. Yeah.

For you, the second attempt, you're like, you got it. I got it. Good for you. That's awesome, man. So she finally signed it, and she's like, it doesn't mean shit anyway. So then I put my plan in place, and she doesn't know I'm leaving, though. She has no idea I have flights, none of it. She just thinks she's signing a piece of paper, and I'll go back to my room and let it go.

Well, middle of the night, I was out. And then I had to hide out for a couple days. obviously she found out I was leaving she had the cops looking for me everywhere I was in hiding and then my cousin gave me the ride to the airport as soon as I get to New York my dad's like cops have already been called we need to go to the station

I was like damn I can't win you know and we go to the station and I could hear her yelling at the cop through the phone and he's nah nah nah man man I was like what about my note man like I got the note that was my thing you told me to get the note they got the fucking note yeah I got the note and he's like

wait a minute and he reads the note and then he goes ma'am did you sign a note saying that you're giving custody to joe and i could hear her say yeah but that don't mean shit and he goes thank you ma'am click hug up on it i was like yeah and then i just staring at him and i was like i could have hug that cop and my dad's like pulling on me he's like let's get out here for it changes his mind and we left and that was it that is nuts man so how long did you live with dad and what was the influence he had on you post 15 years old once you get there. So I only live with my dad for probably a year and a half to two years. And he had a big influence on me because he had like I was flunking out of school.

Like all my grades were Fs. I was doing terrible. I was like probably the only kid that failed gym. Yeah. You know. Well, now you know another. Did you fail Jim? I did.

I did. They were just making me walk the track. I was such a bad fucking. Yeah. And then every day he'd be like, wear your shorts. I don't have any shorts. Exactly. What do you want me to do?

I can't pull them out of my ass. You're my trash and I'm a foreigner, bro. Yeah. That's how that happened. Like, what do you? All right, coach, you go buy me some fucking shorts and I'll wear them. Exactly. My mom doesn't care.

She's not buying anything. Right. So, what was it saying? Year and a half with dad. Oh, yes. That's what he had on you. So year and a half with dad, and the influence. So I go from Phelan to all of a sudden he's got these like,

oh, you won't hopefully graduate high school. That's how everyone talked to me. Like, oh, if you could only graduate high school. It was like graduating high school was this pinnacle thing that if I could just, do that. I would be a rising star. That's what the feeling mindset was. And it was like, you're not, you're making it very clear that you're not, but if you just graduated high school and it was so crazy to think to look back. But then I'm moving with my dad and he was, if, when you graduate high school, because you will graduate high school, and what college are you

going to go to? You better figure this shit out now. And I was like, he just, he spoke with such, like, confidence and in definiteness you will like there's no question if you're going to live in this house like these are what normal people do what a difference in the way your dad spoke to you

with confidence being so definite conviction versus the kind of explosive emotionally reactive way that mom spoke to you like the bar was set low right

it feeling and then dad's like what I mean if dude you're It's when. Right. And what's next is college, so you better start figuring that out. Right. Was that just complete like, holy fuck, man, maybe if he has this much confidence in me, then maybe I can do it?

Or was it like, oh, he's out of his mind? No, he normalized it. He normalized it. And that was the, it was mind blowing for me because my mindset says I can't graduate high school. I'm not good at classes. I don't, I'm not good at this. And then when he said, no, you will.

It changed my mindset to, it doesn't matter from good at it. I have to do it because he expects me to. and quite frankly he's terrifying dude. Like he's a burly dude. His anger is beyond, I'm an angry person. His anger is insane. You know, at the bar, one of his bar managers pissed him off and, like, had a Christmas party or some kind of party.

He drank the alcohol and didn't pay for it. And my dad found out, he went and found him in a coffee shop and slammed him through the fucking table in the coffee shop, in public. Like, you're in downtown of the Fredonia, and he picks his bar manager up and slams him through the table. And just like he's allowed to do that. Like, he owns that bitch. Like, his temper is insane. Fuck.

So, yeah. And I found out the hard way, you know, not to fuck with him. He said the one night he was like, I was like, I'm going to go out tonight. He goes, all right, be back by 10. I was like, okay. I don't know if you know me, but no one ever tells me to be back by him. No one gives a shit what I do. I just go do it.

And then when I get back, I get back. If I get back. You know, sometimes I don't come back. Right. And I got back at one in the morning after going to a party, and he was waiting there. And my buddy, I was like, just crashed at my place. And he's like, all right. He looks at my buddy and, like, I could see fucking fire coming out of his eyes.

And my buddy's like, I'm leaving. And immediately, like, takes off. And my dad just comes after me. And he launches me over a reclass. I land on my back and he's just on top of me. He starts punching my legs and I was like, this dude ain't fucking playing. Holy fuck. Like he put a beating on me and I deserved it. And from that point, you know, he was reserved.

Like he wasn't, he wasn't like whooping my ass, you know, like a man. Yeah. But he was letting me know like I will fucking destroy you. Yeah. And from that point on, like one instance I was at school and this dude wanted to fight me and he punched me in a face. I pin him down. I was like, any other time, I would fucking wail on you. I was like, but I'm more afraid of my dad than I have, you know, than you.

So I just let him go and I bounced. And when I told my dad, he was like, why don't you kick his ass? I was like, are you fucking kidding me? You're like, fuck, man, I can't get right. Yeah. But, you know, well, let's take a break there for a second. And I just want to deconstruct something. You know, people watching this is like, man, poor guy, he was abused by mom and dad.

let me just share something and if I'm wrong, correct me. I'm going to share it from my lens from my perspective. Mom abused you. Mom was abusive. Dad set you straight. Yeah.

Dad set you straight. And it may not make sense to you guys watching and listening to this if you've had the fucking leave it to beaver life. But a young man who has been off the path

needs rough and tumble guidance at times. In addition to love and respect, which if you overlooked, when you went to visit that in New York, he's like, here's a whiskey, here's a cigar. Like that's how men show respect. And you're like, holy fuck. Like, I feel respected. I feel acknowledged. Like, this dude sees me as a man and not a child, not a kid, not a liability. but when he was like, hey man, you're living at my house, be home at 10, and you're like, oh, let me tell you how we do it at a feeling. He was like, let me tell you how we do it here, motherfucker.

Right? Yep. And sometimes that's needed. I mean, when you see the Papa Lion take a swipe at its cub and the cub tumbles over and gets up and it's got a little blood under its eye, it's best that pop a lion do that because out in the fucking Serengetti, when that little cub becomes a male adolescent lion, it'll it fucked up if it makes that move with the wrong pride. You know, and that's, that's, that's just how it is.

This is the fucking wild kingdom still. And I think people have, have it twisted when they think that everyone needs to grow up, like leave it to Beaver and that, you know, you had a life of abuse by dad. I, I can respect what your dad did just as much as I can respect what my dad did and being heavy-handed with me at times because he knew that. that we already came to the United States and we're the underdogs. They're yelling at us,

telling us, you're a fucking foreigner, go back to your own country, you're taking all of our jobs, you don't speak English. And last thing he wanted us to do is to get in trouble and then therefore confirmed that we're just fucking low lives

to all those people who were just waiting for us to do something wrong. Yeah, I respect what your dad did, man. So in that way, I mean, I don't know what else happened and so I can't fucking talk to that. No, and I agree with you 100%.

Yeah. I respect them for that. Like, we don't talk now, you know, because we just fell out and the relationship. And that happens, yeah, but I don't have, I don't have any resentment towards them. And that, that ass who, like, with all due respect to people who have had their ass, I've had my ass actually whooped, you know, losing fights. It wasn't an ass whoopin. It was, but it was a show of force.

Yeah. But that ass whoopin was the best thing that happened. Yeah. It set me down the right path. And from there on, to fear somebody other than the law, change everything for me. Yeah. Because the law ain't touching you.

The law, like, it's so easy to stay within the confines of the law. You could still be a complete train wreck and not break the law. True enough. Yeah. True enough. So at what point do you end up going to college after high school? Well, you graduated high school, I imagine? So, yeah.

So he, my dad ends up moving. He's like, we're going to Colorado. And I was like, I'm not going. I was like, I'm going to stay here. And he's like, fuck, you are. And I was like, This is where I put my foot down. You got me on the right track.

I'm actually passing my classes. I'm not giving that up. I have fucking momentum for the first time in my life towards something positive. I owe you that. Thank you. But no, I'm not going with you. I'm keeping that fucking momentum going. And I'm going to see where this takes me.

And he lost his shit. And then he started acting like a dick. He took all my clothes and everything and then locked him in the basement and told him that he told me he gave it all the way to. donation. He donated all my stuff. And so then finally, he said, okay, fine, you want to stay so bad? Because I went to live with a friend, and then the friend had, he called the cops to come bring me back. He's doing the shit my mom was doing. Yeah. But then finally he said, okay, if you want to stay, he goes, I'll tell you what, you can stay with family. And the only family that's here is my mom and you haven't even met her. Or you've met her like once. You don't even talk to her.

And I don't even think she'll let you stay there. And I was like, if that's the deal, okay, got my ass in the car, went down to her house, said, hey, can I stay with you? And she was like, yeah. I was like, thank you. Went and told my dad, she said, yes, peace. You guys have fun in Colorado. And as soon as he left, I went and stayed with my friends because she was like 30 minutes from my school.

Right. And I was like that, I can't commute like that. You know, so I went and stayed with my friends. And their senior year, they're chilling because they actually. did good in school. In my senior year, I have one day of if I miss, I fail. All my classes are like barely passing, so I'm trying to come back. Yeah. So my senior year, they're partying. I'm fucking buckling down. Working. I'm working. And I graduated and I had no family there, and it was awesome. The only person I was there was my girlfriend. My girlfriend at the time

brought her parents to make it look like somebody came to watch me graduate. That's awesome, man. But I was like, I did it, you know. Yeah. On my own. I don't fucking, I don't need you to hold my hand. I got it. Let me share something with the audience here. You guys see a pattern here of, one, never taken the victim stance.

And two, constantly solving problems, getting on the phone with the cops in New York saying, what exactly do I need so that you guys don't take me back to Southern California? And they're like, well, if your mom signed a note, you're like, what exactly does a fucking note need to say? And you're transcribing it. And then your dad's like, hey, we're going to Colorado. Nope. I've got momentum. I appreciate that. I'm not going. I'm going to go to school here and keep going. And he's like, well, that's only going to happen if grandma, who doesn't even know you, you've seen once, takes you in and jump in a car. You go get the confirmation from grandma, come back till dad. The idea of solving problems and never taking the victim stance, if every single one of you watching this and listening to this, just take away those two things. You're never the fucking victim.

and that solved the problem. Whatever the problem is, solve it. Your life will be exponentially better, and you'll end up reaching out to us and thanking us later for it. So you graduate high school, Sean, and do you decide to go to college or do you decide to take the path into the military?

No, so then I had no desire to go into the military. Oh. And then I went to college. I was doing sports therapy or something like that or something sports-wise. I thought it would sound like an easy degree to try to you. So I signed up for that. Underwater Basketball.

Yeah. If they had that, I would have signed up for it. But I was just trying to fit the role, right? Sure. And I was on my own. I was like, oh, I'll give the cool college thing a try. Didn't like it. Dropped out of college and was really just struggling to find what I wanted to do.

So, you know, from there, I tried a couple of things. I was working at sign shops. And then I met a girl who, her family kind of like, anyway, they had a ton of money so it kind of like changed my perspective on it kind of brought in the horizon of what was possible when you don't have to fucking pay bills anymore that was a weird time but yeah that's a whole nother podcast yeah like that was strange right you're going from i worked like two jobs to you know have things and pay for gas and go to school now all of a sudden i meet this girl and she's like oh i have my parents are rich so

if you want something, just here's a card. Whoa. Yeah, and she's like, you know, hold on here's a, take my car. It's a new car. You can just have a new car and drive it wherever you need to go. Here's a card. So if you need anything, just swipe that card. And don't worry about anything.

It's like you became Cinderella, man. Yeah. And it ruined money for me. Whoa. I was spending so much money. I remember her dad called at one point. I was like, you guys spent $5,000 on stuff this last month. You don't even have any fucking bills.

He's like, what are you spending $5,000? on and I couldn't tell him. I was like, I don't know. I just swipe your card, dude. Like, she does it. Like, it's not, it's not like I'm trying to take advantage of you. Your daughter just loves spending your money and you don't stop her, you know? So he would, he would call her and be like, stop spending money. She's like, okay, we whatever. You want to go shopping? Jeez. You know what? Yes. Yeah. I was like, send it. So I ended up losing the, I ended up losing like appreciation for things. And that was, that was kind of, messing me up but anyway it's not earned anymore i didn't earn anything i had no pride in

fucking anything yeah everything was technically his so i was like this sucks yeah you know you're devaluing anything and that like we forget how much we value just uh something i mean something you put effort and money into that you earn you know we kind of forget just buying something to have it feel good yeah um so anyway she we we We ended up, I ended up marrying this girl. And then she cheats on me within a few months. It was like, probably like four months we were married. And then she ended up cheating on me.

I walked in on it. Damn. Yeah. That was rough. Is it a safe task like what happens next when you walk in on that? Yeah. So I actually, you know, I walk in. Do you know the dude?

Do you not know the dude? No, he was a, she was in school and he was a classmate. So I walk in and I hear, what are you doing here? and I was like the fuck this is my house like this is our apartment together you know yeah yeah and uh so she's like what are you doing here i was like that's a weird fucking question

like so i walk in and all of a sudden this dude is like cowering in my bed like covering himself with my blankets and he's naked and i was like you mother fucker so i just lose it and i start punching um the pictures of us and i'm just all i could say all i could do is scream she's married and punch all the pictures and then um

i look down at my ex-exam as I'm punching things and he's got a different game in my Xbox. That's personal. Yeah, that's what pissed me off. Yeah, that's personal. Listen, you know, you take the wife. Yeah. You touch my fucking Xbox.

Yeah. You know what I mean? It's fucking around. Yeah. You took it too far. Yeah. So that pissed me off. So I punched the TV through the wall and I'm just screaming like, you touch my fucking

ex- fuck. If there was cameras on the wall, I would love that footage. I got to tell you. And, uh, we're so fucking irrational as man. Yeah. I can find out their pussy. But I had the fucking game and then I'll fuck with my shit. Don't touch my shit.

Like, what if you over saved over my shit? And so then I look, that's when my mind starts shifting. I started getting a little darker with it. And I looked at the butcher block full of knives. Oh, at first, and then I saw a glass handle of vodka he brought. And I thought, you cheap fuck. So I grabbed the glass handle of vodka and threw it his head. And then I looked at the butcher block of knives.

And I was like, she's like, I'm calling the cops. Once I threw that, she's like, I'm calling the cops. So I was like, I got two options. here. I was like, I can grab one of those knives and I could really fucking go to town and you know, take this all the way. I was like, or I could just

call it is what it is and walk out the door. So I did that. I got in the car and... Good move. I drove 100 miles an hour, like, as fast as the car I can get going down the highway, and I just remember screaming, like as loud as I could into the steering wheel.

I felt like I could almost, if I could just scream myself, awake, then I would snap out of this reality. And it didn't really happen. Yeah. Yeah. And then I was hoping I either crashed or the cops would get me and just saved me for myself because I was losing it. Yeah. How old were you when this was happening?

So I was probably like 21, 22 at the time. Yeah. Yeah. And so what happens next in your life? So from there, the money goes away, which felt great. You wouldn't think, you know, money getting out of your life. So it's like instant divorce. Yes. Okay. So because they had so much money, her father was worried I was going to come after it. Yeah. He didn't know me very well, apparently, so I don't want her money. Yeah. So he just made the divorce happen. I never signed anything. I didn't have to do anything. It was just like one day I got divorce papers. So we have good lawyers. Yeah. Shit moves quickly. Yeah.

So, yeah, so I was divorced and then I had to rebuild. So now I have to, I'm this 22-year-old man and I have no idea what finances look like. I don't know how to manage money. my credit score is like fucking maxed out because all he pays all my fucking bills all the time like I don't know how to manage money anymore so I max out credit cards all my credit cards that I because I don't I'm trying to live and I have no job like real job you know I don't know what to do my credit takes a dump yeah I couldn't even eat anymore because I was like I remember the last trip to subway trying to get sandwiches and I swipe the card and she's like yeah sorry decline. So then I go to the gas station and I grab, this is kind of the low point, was when I grabbed that, you know, 99 cent bag of mixed nuts that they had. And I was like,

hopefully this goes through. I don't know how overdrawn it is. I'm trying to squeeze in something to eat with whatever's left on my card. And that was the moment when I was like, I got to, I got to fix my shit. I got to get my shit together. Now it's my time to fucking, you know, make it better. So on the project, I talk about a significant life event. I go, if you're here at the project, there's probably a significant life event that's taken place that's brought you here.

And there's always that rock bottom, that event, that experience. And for you, it was that. You're like, I've got to get my shit together. And so what does that start looking like when you have that internal dialogue and what do you do the next minute or the next day? So from there, I was like,

like you said, problem solve. Okay, so I need to make something, I need a career. I need something to be proud. of. So I was like, what would I be proud of? What would I be happy doing? I was like, firefighter. That would be fun. So I sign up. What do I got to do? Be a firefighter in California. It said, I went on the website. It said, do this, all these classes. And then once you're done with all these classes, you can sign up for the fire academy. And then if you get accepted, you go to

fire academy, then you can get a job as a firefighter. Okay. So I signed up for all those classes. So when I start taking all these classes, I'm in a uniform, and I feel good. I'm knocking this stuff foul is like this feels great and so I'm just crushing all these classes off the list. The last one I needed to get was EMT school. So I signed up for EMT school and this guy that we share rides to go back and forth to split gas. Well someone in the class, I don't know, they were like button heads or something. I don't know what happened between them, but he's like a 120 pounds soaking wet. And he's like, dude, the dude in the front is like wants to fight me. I was like, why would he want to fight you? It's kind of random. Yeah. And I was like, no, he doesn't, man. So I get

up to go throw my gum out and I throw my gum out in the front of the class and I go to walk back and I look at the guy and he's in the front row to the left. I look at him, make eye contact just to see like, like who it was, you know, and I look at him and he goes, the fuck do you want? And I was like, he's not playing. This guy just wants to fight people. Yeah, yeah, this is for real. Yeah. So I was like, all right. I was like, well, better me than him. I was like, you're not going to just beat on this kid, you know, which is just a justification for me to get into a fight. So I was like, I was like, I'll see a break. If you want to fight, we can fight.

So I had, I thought it was too cool for school. So I wore crocs instead of boots like we were, you know, for the uniform. So I said, what's, I told my buddy, said, what size shoe do you wear? And he's like, a nine. I was like, perfect. Me too. I was like, give me your boots. I'm not fighting in crocs.

So I put his boots on, went outside. And like an idiot, I take my shirt off. What a stupid move. But in school one time, I actually had somebody do the hockey move on. Yeah, yeah. And that messed me up. And so since then you... Since then, I just took my shirt off.

Let me guess. He took advantage of that moment. No, so... Okay. So I had it off before, but then he did this weird thing. I don't know what he was trying to do. He put his nose, like, he's like trying to face to face me. He's a tall guy.

His nose touched my forehead. And if I was like, that's gross, dude. Like, what are you doing? So then I just headbutted him in the nose. Like, if you're going to put it there, like, you're almost just begging for it. You know, so I headbutted his nose. And he starts gushing blood. And then I guess he was dating this girl in the class.

She starts screaming. Oh, God. So this brings the teacher out. And this is where my shirt mistake happened because now the teacher, obviously the guy with no shirt made the bloody guy. You know what I mean? So she's like, you guys are suspended. Jeez.

And I was like, that was a moment for me when I was like, I have to stop getting in my own way. Huh. Because I kept, like, I kept deciding to do good. And I would start down a good path. but then my habits and my behaviors would fuck it all up and I kept ruining opportunities for myself Jesus. So that was the very next day I walked into the recruiter's office. Were you aware of it in that moment?

Like I'm self-sabotaging right now? Or is this in hindsight now you're aware of it? Hindsight. In the moment, I'm like, what's wrong with the lunch scrap? Right. You know, my mind justified that is like a normal thing. I mean, he is the one that started. He said, hey, what the fuck are you looking at?

We could have a little lunch. And the dude was, I mean, he was a down. dude he wasn't trying to snitch on me or nothing he was like listen we we agreed to fight each other he told the teacher he was an accident he just said a absolutely bumped me i said it was an accident so he wasn't being a you know a douche or anything it was just two dudes trying to scrap in the lunch but it it made me realize that i can't just keep living just because i think this is acceptable behavior does not mean that society is going to find that acceptable right embrace that right yeah so a funny tangent uh i can respect the whole like asking your

what size shoes he wears and changing out of your crocks several years ago my wife and I we we take the kids to Hawaii every year we just started I don't know like 11 years ago nice for Christmas because we decided that we're not going to fucking hang out with my depressed family anymore in Anaheim and just talk about the fucking hey days and whatever so we decided we're going to go to Hawaii every Christmas and so this started 11 years ago so whatever halfway through these 11 years we're flying back and it happens to be like a late night flight like the flight took off at 11 p.m. from Maui and so we're about an hour and a half into the flight back to California back to LAX and we're over the Pacific and there's a

we're sitting in first class but it's one of those jumbo mega Boeing whatever's where there's like a whole bunch of first class like big big first class so there's a dude way up in first class far left I'm far right in the back with my son. I always sit in the aisle and my son was next to me. And then across the aisle is my wife and my daughter. But we can see that there's like a whole group of people like opened up. Like they got out of their seats and they created this giant gap. And there's a dude slamming the back of the headrest of the seat in front of him. And he's yelling at the guy that was sitting there and I'm going to kill you and he's doing the gun gesture and you just wait.

I'm like, holy fuck. This is nuts. This is crazy. In flight entertainment. In flight entertainment, right? First class thing. That doesn't happen in coach. No, man.

Exactly. Everyone's peaceful in coach, apparently. So I'm like, what the fuck is going on right now? Full disclosure, man, like, when I go to Hawaii, I always bring my helo hatty, you know, shirts. They have a nice little floral patterns on them. And I've got like my board shorts and I wear my flip-flops. And so I'm sitting there like, man.

this is nuts. I travel for work all the time. Like nothing happens. And then here I am with my family. This is going on. But whatever, maybe he's drunk. But I see the flight attendant is coming down my side. And they got these zip cuffs tethered together. And I stop him. I'm like, hey, ma'am, is everything okay? What's going on? She's like, oh, he's a flight risk. I'm like, oh, okay, was that what that's for? Yep. I goes, anything I could do to help? She's like, well, we have to ask him. By law, we have to ask him to put these on. I'm like, you're going to ask that guy going off to put those on. Good luck with that. And she goes, yep. And so she cuts through the galley. and goes in front of him.

I look at the guy sitting behind my wife. No words were exchanged. We just kind of gave each other the nod. Like if shit goes down, we've got each other. My wife's looking to me like, what the fuck, dude? Right? So my son Andrew's awake. He's like six, seven years old at this time.

And I'm like, hey, buddy, everything's going to be fine. My daughter, Chloe's knocked out. My wife's like, what the fuck? I'm like, just be cool. Now, God's blessed me with two things. Lots of hair and sweat glands. Not a lot of fucking skill and talents. Like, everything else has earned,

like lots of hair and sweat glands. And so I don't know about you, but when I get nervous, I start fucking sweating a lot. Yeah, my palms get it. Yeah, yeah. So the lady, the flight attendants cut across in front of him, and they're like, you know, I can see him gesturing. Like, hey, you got to put this on. He stands up and he's just foaming at the mouth and going off and blow this fucking plane up. And she looks up at me and the guy.

He's like, help, right? I'm like, okay, now I guess we can intervene. So I go running up and I had just done this six-week challenge with Aaron Weatherspoon. And at the time, he was the Walter Waite champion, fought in King of the Cage. So I'd done like six weeks of MMA fighting with him. And one of the many things he had taught me was the rear-necked chokehold. And so I get in front of this guy in my head, what's running through my head is like, all right, someone's going to have fucking an iPhone video of me, the CEO of Fit Body Boot Camp,

fighting some dude. And this is going to be taken out of context. and it's going to be very bad for business. The other part of me is like, this plane can't go down. Yeah. Right? And so he's like, what are you going to do? And he goes to shove me and I get around his arms and get him in the rear naked chokehold.

Now, he's taller than me, so I'm like clawing into my fucking flip flops. But because my feet are sweaty, I'm falling out of my flip flops and I can't get good traction. So I just keep putting my weight on him. And sure enough, the rear naked chokehold works. And he's on his, he's hunched over and he's bucking. And I'm whispering in his ear like, buddy, everything's, going to be okay. No one's fucking going to die. Just fucking relax. Seep-seat time. Like, just fucking be cool. Right? But I'm like sliding out of my fucking flip-flops. And so anyway,

we zip tie him and everything's fine. We land LAX. LAPD takes him away. And we got all the wine and hummus and chips that we could eat. We got a plot in it. But since then, I fucking lace up my shoes so tight when I'm like PTSD. When I'm on a plane, I'm like fucking lace stuff. Like, I'm not going to sweat out of my fucking shoes at all. So when you stay, you swapped out the crocs for the boots i was like okay i could respect this dude i gotta start flying first class bro it sounds like a good time you get to use a rear naked choke on somebody yeah i've never had to do anything else uh that was just fucking weird but anyway a lot lot of respect for that so you gotta you gotta you gotta you gotta the good the good fighting kicks i'm surprised you just kick them off

i didn't think of it i wouldn't either i didn't think of it uh it's slick that you got them like you you made that decision like rear naked choke yeah that's the one i'm gonna use yeah and then just went right into it well all right so you can respect this then imagine so if rear naked chokehold he's hunched over i'm laying on top of them right right the dude who was behind my wife he did come to help in my head i'm thinking this is post 9-11 so we're all gonna fucking rush the guy and then someone's gonna do the seatbelt thing right like i'm thinking it's gonna be a dog pile just like me and homeboy and everyone else is just fucking watching with their fucking iPhones and so he's got the the zip ties from from the older

sweet flight attendant lady and he's trying to jam it between my gut and his back, right? He's like, I can't get it in. He's trying to move the guy's arms between my gut and his back and I'm like, what the fuck do you want me to? I'm trying to like, fucking turtle somehow so I can create gap, but I can't because I don't have the core stability

apparently that I, like, I love a yoga instructor. So I'm like, all right, well, what would Aaron do? He said downward dog, do downward dog. So I transitioned to a guillotine chokehold before he can come to, right? I'm like, motherfucker, this work too, right? In my head, I'm thinking, Aaron's going to be so proud of me because he taught me these things.

So I transitioned to a gay teen chokehold. Now he can get his arms around and we zip tie him. But in his panic, he zippedat him so tight. Now we're sitting in the back rotating guard. He wakes up like every 30 minutes. I think he might have been just on some drugs or something. He wakes up and he's like, my fucking rest are bleeding. I'm like, no, they're not.

And I look. He's like, fuck. So because we're on an airplane and God forbid there's anything sharp that you could kill anyone with, the flight attendant brings those elementary school blunt scissors that don't cut. Yeah. And so now I'm cutting his skin as I'm trying to get under the zip tie. So I do more damage than good, but we finally get the zip ties cut, put on looser zip ties. And it was the longest fucking flight ever. Like a five hour flight felt like fucking 15 hours pro. So not only did you have to fucking tackle the dude, put him in zip ties. Now you had to pull guard duty? Yeah, yeah. Me and the other guy like every hour

I'm getting paid for this life. You guys owe me money for this. But anyway, it was just fucking crazy, crazy experience. What a bizarre story. So at this point. You did BJJ instructional. You should have just told them record, and then you could have kept switching to different moves.

Look at this. Look at that. Look at that. It works. I only had three things in my repertoire. So I had already done like two thirds of my shit. Yeah. Yeah, it would have been like one YouTube video and that's it.

So do you make it into the fire academy or was at the end of that career? That was the end of that. So it was in a. advanced EMT school so you had to you could only miss two days so she was like you guys are suspended until an investigation's done oh and I was like well how long I was like we can only miss two days and she looks at us and goes longer than two days and I was like oh there's the queue yeah so I'm pissed at myself I knew I just screwed up another opportunity um and then I was like you know what I I'm rough around the edges I need help you know I need to tighten this up

I don't know how to do that, but I feel like the Army could help. So that's what I did. The very next morning, I walked in the recruiter's office and was like, hey, man, I want to be a ranger. So if you can just go ahead and give me that contract, that'd be cool. Thank you. Thank you very much. And he was like, I was in there for like five minutes. It should have been a cue that, you know, this guy is just like, that was the best thing that ever happens.

Easy sell. And that's something on anything. He goes, come back tomorrow morning and I'll see what kind of contract I got for you. And I was like, sweet. And I just like, all I knew was that Rangers were high speed, so I wanted to be a Ranger. So I came back the next morning, and I was like, what do you got? He goes, good news and bad news. And I was like, all right.

He said, I got you the Ranger contract. So you go airborne Ranger. I was like, I don't care. That's all I wanted. And he goes, bad news is he's like, you're not infantry yet. He's like, they didn't have any spots for infantry. You got to be a cook. And I was like, an airborne Ranger cook?

I was like, that's a thing? Like, why would you make a cook a ranger? Like, I don't even understand this whole military. thing and I was like well how long do I got to do that for and he's like dude six months tops and I was like I could do anything for six months but I'll be a ranger because all I knew was that rangers were high speed so to me knowing zero about the military is like I don't know maybe I cook for six months and then I just go over here and start doing combat or something makes sense yeah whatever I don't fucking know I was in that office like five minutes I did no research right

and I was like listen if I have to be cooked food for for guys in the military for a while I'll do it whatever I got to do. As long as they call me a Ranger, and I get to go through that training, because that sounds really cool. And he's like, and all I heard, there's an actual Ranger, like Ranger Tad, Ranger Scroll,

guy, recruiter in the back, and all I could hear him say is, you're going to be a cow killer. And I was like, the fuck is that? A cow killer? Cook. So I signed a Cook contract, and that's how I started my military career.

No kidding. A Ranger Cook contract. So how do you become a Green Bray then? So, like, what was the progression there? Yeah, so I went to Ranger Selection. I busted my ankle on a ruck run real bad. Yeah. So rolled it.

Dick Couch, the author was doing a book on our class. So they really ramped shit up. Got it. Like, Ranger Selection's hard as it is, but, like, they were fucking turned them evil. Yeah. Right? So, but it was not, it wasn't them, you know. I made a lot of mistakes, and that's how I broke my ankle.

Sure. So I rolled my ankle real bad. I got Achilles tendonitis. It turned black. I couldn't get my boot off. And so I come limping down the stairs and he looks at my ankle. He's like, oh, shit. He's like, you're done.

And so they called me in. They're like, hey, man, you're the kind of guy we're looking for. He's like, so when you're healed up, come back. And I was like, okay, I appreciate that. So then I went to Bamberg, Germany for 173rd Airborne Unit and got put in a defact to cook. And I was like, this is not what I signed up for. I hated it. So then I lobbied to get a different job, which I completely unconventional route.

You know, the Sarmant Major kept coming through. And I was like, I found out that he needed a new personal security for the upcoming deployment. So I just went straight. I was a private. And I was like, hey, Sarm Major, I want to be your security for the deployment. Like, I need to get the fuck out of this. Now, are you saying this from the other side of the counter? Yes.

Yeah. And the first sergeant, the first sergeant was saying next to him, he was absolutely livid. He was like, is this private talking to Sartant Major? like he wanted to choke the shit out. Because that's like a no-no. That's a no-no. Like the jumping rank. Is that what it is?

Yeah. Okay. Like it's especially the Sarmth Major. All you do is pleasantries, right? It's like Roger Sarmant Major, good morning Sarmant Major. Gotcha. They're busy, you know, they got a lot of shit to do. The last thing I need to be is, you know, dealing with privates.

Right. So first aren't one to kill me. But all I knew is I had to get out of this job. I hated it. So meanwhile, I'm also filling out, you know, I'm looking at the needs of the Army list. And if they really need, you know, need a job that nobody wants to do, you could switch anytime. So I was like, ooh, I was like, I'll sign up for one of those.

And one of them was underwater or diving welder or some shit. And I was like, I don't give a fuck. Just get me out of this. You don't want to be a cow killer anymore. Yeah, I don't want to be a cow killer. So he ends up giving me the personal security detachment job, which was awesome. I loved it. I just go with the sergeant major to visit people in Afghanistan and all those people.

And he watches back. Make sure that nobody tries to hurt him. make sure, you know, green on blue or, you know, any Afghans want to, you know, take him out because he's a sergeant major. So I love that. I felt, you know, a lot of responsibility in that. I took a lot of pride in that. And then from there, I was like, well, my ankle healed up. I'm ready to get back in the game.

So I felt like Special Forces selection was more my speed now that I was older by a couple years, you know. I realized in Ranger selection that a lot of the guys were like 18, you know, some of the, like, 17, 18 years old. Because they can't, you can't go SF until you're 21, I think, is it 21? Yeah. So, you know, for the 18-year-olds, they're like, well, if you want to go special operations, you're going to have to a Ranger. You can't go S-F yet, which is a great route. You know, Rangers are amazing.

But it made me realize that I was getting too old for that group. Right. You know, 22, 23, and now it's like you're going to go back to be all with 18-year-olds. You look like an old man to them, you know? So they just turned 18 a lot of them. Yeah. So I'm going to go to selection, and I know it's more of a diverse, older crowd. They like a lot, you know, a bit more maturity and things like that.

So I decided to go that route, and I took the lessons learned from getting hurt and applied that to not get hurt and to make sure that I had the opportunity for them to tell me no if they didn't want me. You know, because it's one thing to not, it sucks to not find out, you know. I wanted one of them to look at me and say, you are not it. And then I could be like, you know, I don't believe you. On to the next one. Yeah. But it sucks when you get injured and then you don't get to hear yes or no.

You know, that's a hard thing to do with. So then you make it through selection. Yeah. And when do you graduate as a green beret? So not too long ago. I graduated February 2015. So February 2015, like it's between, I think I went to selection in 2013. finally got done and graduated February until 15.

I went to the teams in Colorado, so a 10th group. I did one tour. I was going to stay career. I loved it. I loved being a Greenberry. I was like, this is awesome. I'm having the time of life. I went on deployment.

We started seeing a lot of combat. I was getting a ton of gun fights, and I was having a blast. And then things started to go south with our team sergeant, you know, and we just, a lot of buttonheads. and I was like, man, this is turning from the best job I've ever had to miserable by just one leader. One leader. And so from there, I was like, I'm not, I'm going to go do something else. You know, if I'm not, if I'm going to butt heads with this guy, and a lot of us were button heads with the same guy.

And, you know, if I'm not happy, then I feel like I've lived enough unhappy days as a kid that as an adult, I'm not going to choose unhappiness. Yeah. So I moved on. And I will continue to move on until, you know, if I'm going to be in my happy place. Right. And that's how I'm going to live my life. Good for you. So there's a big lesson there I want to share and remind actually.

So I'll share with any of our new listeners, remind our existing, our Empire Army, that leadership's always the problem. Leadership is a solution. It's crazy that you're like, holy fuck, man, I found my place. This is it. I'm going to be a career military man. And one leader, one poor leader. can demoralize an entire unit, an entire company, an entire organization, brand, you name it. Leadership is the problem.

Leadership is the solution. And so at that point, you're like, you know what? I'm out. I'm budding heads. Everyone else is budding heads with him. And so what's the next evolution of your life there? So from there, I wanted to keep serving. So I went police department.

So I signed up for the Denver Police Department. And then literally no overlap. I was technically still in the Army while I was in base or in the police academy. Yeah. And my goal from there, I was like, I want to Denver because I had a full-time SWAT team. So it was like special operation on the SWAT team, like, let's do this. So your goal was to make it right into the SWAT team. Yeah, my goal was to get into SWAT.

And which is crazy that that was such a difficult thing to do, you know, SWAT teams don't have a program where you could fast track even from special forces, which is bizarre to me, because almost everywhere else does, Secret Service. I was in the pilot program to go straight to the CAT team, counter assault team. They called me like, hey, you know, we heard you getting out. Your prior special forces were trying a new program to get guys from special forces right to the CAT team after six months.

Wow. Yeah. So I was like, sweet. So I flew out. I went to Texas. I got through all the process in like one day until the polygraph. I went to do the polygraph for that. and this, it was a nightmare.

This chick was just the worst, like, human being. And she was, she was, me and her just buttheads, right? Because she was like, what are your bracelet of me? I was like, oh, it's my, you know, buddy that died. Yeah. That was killed. And she's like, oh, at the end, like, what would he think about you lying? I was like, whoa.

What did you just say? And she's like, yeah, how would he feel about it? And I was like, you're crossing the line, lady. I'm going to kill you, bitch. So she got on my, so I get it. That's her job, right? She's trying to ruffle my feathers and stuff. But I was like, listen, it's not going to work.

I was like, I'm done. You know, I didn't quit the conversation, but I was just like, I'm not lying about anything. You know, put whatever you want down. So failed the polygraph miserably because, you know, me and her just didn't get over. I've passed multiple after that, you know. So it's like I've taken so many polygraphs after that and done. It was so fine, but, you know, you just get these polygrapers that drink their own Kool-Aid. So anyway, she shut down the counter-assault thing, went police department, and from there I got

onto an impact team, which that was really fun, just small team going around the city. What does an impact team do? So an impact team, typically what a city will do is split up per district, and then you'll have an impact team per district, right? But that impact team is going to try to focus on whatever crime is affecting that area, that specific area. So if it's gangs, drugs, whatever car thefts, they could be, you know, you don't deal calls anymore. You just go and focus on those things to try and reduce that area's crime. Gotcha.

So the chief decided he was like, well, we should have a citywide one so they can go around to any area instead of just having their sections. So we were the first ones on that team. We started a new team. and it was a lot of fun and then the riots happened so now we're in 2020 the riots are happening everyone hates cops yeah and then from

there the department started kind of selling out cops in my opinion they were like not having cops backs one of my teammates is on like in this like federal investigation for he's on a moving truck shoots a pepper ball because we're getting rucks are just getting pelted at us

he shoots a pepper ball and it hits a guy's cell phone knocks a cell phone of his hand clearly can't do it. It's a moving car with one hand and the guy's like a hundred feet away. And they were like, oh, he must have done that on purpose. He must have targeted that guy. And so he's under this like huge lawsuit and it's like no one's looking out for the cop. Like who's going to protect the cop? Like you guys are selling us out. And I was like, listen, I'm not going to risk my freedom for you if you're not going to support me. I was like, that's too much. So that's when I was like, okay, once again, it's time to go.

find a new happiness. But this time, I'm not doing it for anybody else. I was like, I refuse to work for somebody else. Again, I was like, if I think I could do better, then I need to do better. And stop, you know, putting my faith in these huge organizations where I'm just a cog on the wheel. So at this point, you're at 32, 33 years old, right? And up to this point, you're just like, all right, I'm going to try to work for an organization, Whether the organization is the military or police department or whatever it was.

So had entrepreneurship run through your mind before? I always felt drawn to it. I always felt drawn to just running with ideas because I have faith in myself. After all the things I've been through and made it to the point that I've made it, I believed in that if I made a decision, I could do it. I could follow through with it and I can make it happen. I've proven that to myself. So I always found a lot of joy in thinking of different ideas.

I just never settled in on one that got me truly excited I wanted to run with. But then while I was a cop, I was like, I'm going to write a book. I was like, I don't care if anyone reads it. It's not about them reading it, but I was like, I feel like this will be therapy for me. And it would be nice for my daughters to have this book. And so one day they could read it and be like, wow, this is what dad went through. you know this is how far he came this is how far he carried that torch let's let's keep it going you know like let's not let him lose that momentum for our family's sake and so that was the true purpose of

that book for me you know it's like that's awesome man that's actually a lot of forward thinking there that's a i'm hoping you know because it's like we got to break the chain we have to break the cycles we can't and it scares me to death to think that any of those behaviors that I grew up with can slip back in. Right. So if that book could, you know, be a reminder, it's like, hey, this behavior exists in our family, you need to avoid it at all costs. Yeah. You didn't experience it.

My daughters have never even met my mother, you know, and so they've never, they've completely cut off from that. Like, that cycle is broken. Good for you. So that was the goal of the book. And then people started, then I started doing a, I got invited to do a podcast. And it was called Badass Dads and is one of my mentors that records it. And my story, they were like, this powerful. Like, it's helping people.

And I was like, that changed the game for me. When somebody told me that my story helped them and that it impacted them, it was like a fire just lit inside me. And I was like, it was like taking a drug for the first time or something. Like I can't even describe how good of a feeling that was. was to use my negatives and turn it into a positive for somebody else, it made a whole new path for me, a whole new passion. And so then I was like, this book does not need to just be one sitting on my shelf that nobody reads. What if I get people to actually read it and I can help more

people? And then what if instead of just the book, what if I do a YouTube channel helping people and I'll just jump on there and try to give them the wisdom I've learned, you know, and be a normal dude. And I think a lot of times SF guys, they try to like, like live up to each other, right? Sure. We're tough guys. We're hard as nails. And they are, right? A lot of them are. But at the same time, we're not. We're just normal dudes. And we have to take our, our brothers out of our minds when we're creating content for people and think about that person who hasn't done it yet. Don't make yourself larger than life so he doesn't think he could make it.

Just be a normal dude so he knows that he has just as much chance to make it as you and you're not special. And that's what I try to do to help people get to those spots. And that's really the theme of your YouTube channel, the FNG Academy. Yeah. What does FNGG stand for for those who don't know? Fucking new guy. Fucking new guy. What's that term from?

So when you're new on the ODAs, you're the fucking new guy. And you're a burden to your first team. You're an absolute burden. You don't know shit about shit. So the Q-course taught you like the bare minimum to function and to just grasp like the concept of what it's like to be a Green Beret. But it's really the responsibility of your first team to actually teach you how to do the job. So you're their fucking new guy. You'll never be anyone else's new guy ever again. So it's a special spot, right? Because once they go through the burden of teaching your ass,

from every team you go through the rest of your career, you'll never be a new guy, someone's new guy. You'll never be their burden ever again. You know, so it's a lot on that team to take a new guy and to make them into a green beret. So some of the ways they do that, and for me, my team made me wear a neon yellow hat. I hated that damn hat.

So they can identify you as the fucking new guy? Yeah. And I had to wear it everywhere. And it said, ODA-226 fucking new guy. And they were like, where's your hat? Fucking new guy. And I was like, ugh. And it's so embarrassing, right? Because not all the teams have these rituals or, you know, traditions. So you're walking in the company with your stupid ass hat on.

And your buddy got to a team that's more laid back. And he's just like, what the fuck are you wearing? You know, we're not all going through it. So, and that one, that one hurt my ego every time I put that hat on. It was like, talk to me about those rituals, man. Like, it's crazy, right? Because there's a ritual of dad kind of laying the law on you when you went to New York to live with him. There's a ritual of that takes place in the military.

There's rituals that take place in gangs. There's rituals that take place in prison. And it's us men that kind of do these rituals. There's rituals that take place. as a rite of passage, which is going to happen later today for a group of, you know, 40 young boys, 13 to 15 years old in the Squire program. Some people don't understand these rituals. Like what's what's the point of making, like why embarrass you, why make you suffer, why call you a fucking new guy, why why have you do the dirty work, why make you feel the pain?

What's the purpose of all these rituals to create an initiation? So personally, I saw the value in it. It's, that's a deep question, right? Because there's so many reasons. One, it's a bonding thing. Two, it's a way to fill you out as a human being. Like, are you capable of showing up as this elite person and your ass is sweeping the floors and cleaning the shitters? Do you have the ability to be humble and to understand your place on a totem pole? Do you understand your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're. You're. that you don't know anything. Can you embrace that? And so it says a lot about who you are when you are able to embrace these rituals because you know that it adds to the overall bond, the overall brotherhood, the family, you know.

And so these things, if you didn't have these, and it would just be a job. There wouldn't be a connection that's deeper, right? Because you don't go to McDonald's and get hazed and in order to, and this haze word became such like this negative thing. Well, it's like, you go tell me that you would do what I would do for my Green Beret brothers. You go tell me you would do that for your coworkers. I'm damn sure I bet you wouldn't.

But I had this mean hazing that happened to me or there wasn't nice. It bonds us in a way that I'm showing them through wearing the hat, through cleaning the floors. I'm showing them I might to be part of their group. I want to be in. I will do these embarrassing things to prove to you that I want to be in. And I'm also proving to you that I have the ability to humble myself, to know my place. So just the exchange that goes back and forth,

it deepens a bond deeper than people could ever imagine. And that's why we don't have good relationships at work because there is no right of passage to go to work. you got hired congratulations whether i like you or not your cubicle's right here you're going to sit next me you're going to deal with me you didn't choose me i didn't choose you it is what it is you know and so there's no connection but these rituals they they bond us in a way that's that's deep and even though i'm out of the military i will not cross the line when it comes to my greenberry family i won't say things about sears school even though everyone wants to know about it i know i could do a video right now

and get tons of views and crush views on YouTube from talking about details about Sears School. I'm not going to do it. I'm not going to talk about things that are obsec that are going to put my brothers at risk. I don't care how many views that's going to get or how much money that could make. I'm not going to do it.

That bond runs deep, and I always have their backs before putting money or, you know, notoriety ahead of them. And it's because of those rituals that, you know, we're bonded like that. Yeah, that's powerful. And it's that trust and loyalty that was developed by you proving to them by paying your dues.

Yeah, absolutely. And from the outside, it looks like hazing, that they're embarrassing you, that they're hurting you, giving you unnecessary pain. From the inside, I imagine, I've never been in the military. I've had the good fortune that I'm surrounded by great men like you who I've got to understand and learn that. It's very similar in the business field. There's probably two or three people in this building that I can say like when the poop hits the fan and during COVID poop hit the fan. Like I knew who had my back and they were like, hey man, even if I don't get paid, I'm good, I'm here.

The rest of the team was just like, hey, my pay is not going to get fucked right because we're not taking any payroll cuts. We're not doing this. And that's okay. That's okay. But I imagine you're going to war. you're going to gunfights, you want to know that the dude that's got your back was willing to suck it up and do the dirty work and all that stuff. There's a level of trust and loyalty versus like, okay, now you're about to get tested in a real gunfight to see if you have my back.

And you may or may not. It's a lot of respect there. So what's the goal as an entrepreneur as you move forward? And I know that's a loaded question because you're just now stepping into it. your YouTube channel's blowing up and rightfully so. It's kicking ass. You put out great content. Really well shot, really well edited, great audio. Great engagement with your, like I'm paying attention, man. Like great engagement in the comments.

What's the goal here where you're headed? So that is starting to develop. And you helped a lot with that. I mean, we had a conversation and you said, hey, man, what's your goal? So how could I help you? And I thought it threw me off that you would just help, help, help. It's like, the minute you introduce yourself to me, it's like, what do you need? How do you grow?

You know, and it got me, I was almost embarrassed when we hung up the phone that first time because I was like I wasn't able to articulate what I wanted it. And that was a hard thing for me not to be able to do with someone like you that's done so much. It's like you think that you have your elevator pitch ready, right? but there's a part of entrepreneurship that's fun and exciting that you don't really know you feel like you're you're out in the ocean swimming towards an island you can't even see so people are like which way you go and you're like i'm just swimming as hard as i can and hopefully some some fucking trees pop up i see some land i see some land but um as it's starting to develop you know we started the fng academy store we and um we're starting to put together packages to help guys get selected. So one aspect is to have the channel and have the store to be the place to go for anyone that wants to go special operations. I want to be the premier

spot. The first spot people that decide to go special operations go for information, for education purposes, for entertainment purposes, and for equipment. So not things to just sell them, but things that are going to give them the advantage and help their percentages. I want to actually see statistical data increased selection rates at X percent for every person that watches the channel, purchases the kits and the things that we pick for them, and how do we do that? So that's what part of my team is working on in my boy Kurt, X Green Bray, he's running that side, constantly just diving into how do we help them get better from that point of view. and then Abel is running the content.

So like we did with the show, Wine and Rations, how do we keep creating content to get better and better and better, have fun, make these guys laugh because you can't always, there's a lot of stress that comes with trying to go this route. You know, there's a lot of fear, there's a lot of anxiety. So now that how can we use content to let them laugh, let them see that normal-ass people if we could do it they could do it and entertain them throughout the their phases of this long process that they're about to go to because it's not overnight you know it's gonna

it's gonna be years of their life grinding to get to the point where someone hands on that green beret yeah that's powerful i'm just curious for my you know just as you get to talk and i'm like oh i wonder if there's going to be any live events like if he did a live event like some kind of not a retreat, but like some kind of an experience where maybe a group of dudes fly out who ultimately want to go through selection and they get to work with you and your team who really give them a taste of what they're in for to see if they could really hack it or not when they commit to the real deal. Is there anything in plans like that?

We have talked about that. So another member of the team is current Greenberry too, is Tom. and he is looking at land in Texas and building a facility. His plans are huge. So it's going to be a little bit down the road before it gets to the point where he wants that to go, that side of it.

But he wants, he calls it bro camp. And he wants the bro camp to be a place where we're going to teach you, but yes, and we're going to give you a taste and kind of similar to what you do for him. But I want you to leave feeling just like you had a blast. And let's decompress and then

hang out with them, spend some time with them. So yes, that is in the works, but that's something that we want to get right. And that's going to take a lot of thought and effort. And the last thing we want to do is to rush into that and not have it be the perfect

experience. Yeah. Yeah. And you're right in doing that. It is heavy lumber in putting together an in-person experience where you're controlling every element of what they to experience what they get to eat, drink, sleep, think, the fear of the chaos, etc. That you might bring. And then the lessons that come with it, et cetera.

We do it to help men evolve and develop into their highest level. And whether you're doing it to give them a taste of selection or whatever. But yeah, you're right. Well, and I think here's the thing that you mentioned that you guys are doing, I think is super important with the emotional aspect. You know, like you talk about those barriers, finding out what, what is their barriers and letting them get that out into the open? That was writing the book for me.

These guys need this. Like, I've got guys that hit me up. They're like, my family doesn't want me to do this. Everyone's, like, all the closest people in their lives are super negative. And, like, really just putting them down and tell them they can't do it and stuff. So I love the aspect that you guys hit about the emotional side because you can't just focus on physical ability. Like, if your thought processes aren't right. you're not emotionally, you know, in the right place in your life,

adding skill and hardship to that is not going to, you know, help you. No, if anything, you might actually just break you further. Yeah, absolutely. Because it ended up stressing you out. Yeah. Well, listen, what have we not talked about that you think is pertinent for us to talk about based on the topic of this show? Can you think of anything?

I want to make sure we've hit everything. No, I think I loved it. This was fun. I think we had it. hit some good stuff. Did you have a good time? I did. That's awesome.

I love the office. I think from, actually, I have a question for you. So. He just flipped the script. What is that transition period, right? You started from such humble beginnings, like, and I feel like we have that in common. And I feel like Connor McGregor kind of going through something similar, right? Where we root for him so much in the humble beginnings. But then once people succeed, what is your take on that transition? And how do you cope with that transition to where all of a sudden you went from the hero to the villain? And why does success, which we're all striving to get, why does that turn you into a villain?

In your opinion, like, what is your kind of take on all that? So it's funny. And you and I have a little backstory, which we won't talk about, the thing you texted me on. where all of a sudden you were kind of villainized because of the success you're starting to see. And that's a really good thing to share with the audience here, because as you start striving for success, you and you start developing that success, you might find people from your past coming out and, you know, sharing on social media what a bad human you are. And you're like, man, I barely knew you.

We barely had anything in common. Or you might find new uncles and aunts who maybe need to borrow money all of a sudden. It's kind of like I imagine what a lottery winner. Someone wins the lottery and you develop all these new family members out of the blue. But I think the reason people get, you start getting villainized. First of all, you start getting villainized by the people who you're really acting as a mirror for. Because you're like, hey, I had this conversation with my son. My son's 15 years old.

He's in high school. And he's like, hey, dad, don't you think that maybe the rich, like us, we should be paying more taxes? Because if we did, then people could have a better life who are kind of making that lower income level. I'm like, son, don't forget that I was like dumpster diving as a kid, went to three, four different elementary schools, two different junior highs, two different high schools. We moved around so much, you know, lived in sectioning and housing, et cetera. He's like, yeah, I know. I go, so if I can make it, why can't anyone else?

He said, yeah, you make a good point. I go, with the people that are crying about it are the ones that you're holding up a mirror to because they don't like to see that you came from where they were and then you decided to soar like an eagle. They're more like a crow. And I don't know if you know this about eagles or not, but the eagle gets attacked by two or three crows at a time. It's never attacked by one crow.

It's attacked by two or three crows at a time. And when you're attacked by two or three crows at a time, the eagle doesn't have a way to fight off all three of them. There's only one way it could fight off all three of them. It just keeps rising and rising and rising in elevation because it can go to heights that the crow can't. As the air gets thinner, the crows give up, because they can't get enough oxygen,

they give up and fly off. And so the part where you start kind of feeling, feeling like you're being villainized is the part where now you're making noise, now you're doing something, and they're feeling threatened, they're feeling like inadequate, because shit, I could be doing that,

but I'm not, so fuck him for doing it. Here's what's great, is I've reached a place now in life where I'm so high up, I don't even hear that anymore. Now they don't even, they just, they've given up from old high school friends to old family members. They've given up. But there's a period from where you started to where you're going to be high enough where now just people root for me. I'm surrounded by people who are like-minded who root for me, whether it's Tom Billew who started Quest Bar or Jesse Etzler, who whose wife owns Spinks.

And, you know, he created Zico Coconut Water and NetJet. And, you know, it's half of a basketball team, Atlanta, where the fuck the Atlanta, whoever's they are called. And it's so cool to have people rooting for you instead of people hating on you. But there's almost, speaking of right of passage, there's a right of passage between going from white trash or fucking immigrant foreigner, blue collar, whoever person to this guy or gal that you're going to be, that right of passages, how much hate can you take? I always say, how much shit are you willing to eat and keep missing weddings, keep missing funerals, keep missing birthday parties. and they go, when's, I had one guy tell me, when's enough enough? How many more birthday parties and weddings are you going to miss trying to make me feel guilty? And I was like, motherfucker, how many more kids can I help through Shrine of Children's Hospital?

How many more kids can I adopt through Compassion International? How many more kids can we buy shit for every Christmas through Toys for Tots? What about all that when I donate all that fucking money for, right? Don't make me feel fucking guilty because your fat ass is watching television all fucking day long and you're inadequate and I'm holding the mirror up to you. That's what your success is. since then now that guy's not even in my life you just transcend we're just the people in your life are fucking badasses you're like oh shit this is cool but that's the this is the only reason why people get toxic and they begin to hate on you and they see you as a villain is because you are

a mere reflecting showing them the inadequacies that they're living they're not following a purpose a passion they're addicted you you left fucking meth capital they stayed it's a choice you made You fucking problem solved. They didn't. Same with me. Like all my buddies's like for man, I'm, hey, remember when we used to strip cars down and fucking carjack? Yeah, I do.

And I fucking feel horrible about it. I fucking feel awful about it. And I'm trying to fucking rack up so much karma points right now to fucking counteract all that because a little fucking Asian dude that we stole his fucking Honda accord. He didn't fucking deserve that. And I would justify it with, well, he's got an insurance. He's got an insurance. And I need fucking money anyway.

He probably comes from a rich Asian family. I'm just a fucking, you know, living in section. What the fuck is that about, right? And so I was like, hey, man, actually, no, I don't want to remember that. And Tony Sopranos says, he says, remember when is the lowest form of conversation that any two people can have. And so the people that you're going to be hated by and villainized by are the people who want to have the remember when conversation. Remember when we were like smoking out together? Remember when we're beating dudes up?

Remember when no, man, I want to remember when I was fucking selling out, like buying everything out of Target to fucking donate more to fucking toys for tots. That's what I want to remember when not the fucking stupid shit we did. But that's that's my perspective on that. Someone else could be different, but I just go, I do like the fucking eagle. Just keep rising until these fucking crows can't handle the altitude and they drop off. I appreciate that. Yeah, yeah. Where can people find you, connect with you, hear from you?

So, Instagram is Sean Buck Rogers. And then I'm behind. I'm not going to lie. I'm behind on answering the comments and the questions on there. I get a lot of DMs from guys wanting advice. And at first, I was so happy and I loved to get back to him. And I still do, but it's gotten a bit overwhelming. But I'm doing my best.

And for a while, my wife would read the question and I would answer the question so that way we could be knocking it out. She'd say, okay, this guy wants to know this. Roger that. Tell them this, this, this, this and this. And she'll, okay, send. And then I would keep that going so I could answer all their questions. And then we had the baby and the move. And now it's, you know, 100 plus all the time. So, but, you know, you can still send your questions.

I'll do my best to answer guys. But we're really trying to, like on the website, the FNGG Academy.com, we did a store with a forum so that way guys can communicate with each other. because I think, honestly, they are the best help for each other, right? Because they're the ones pushing through the mud and finding new issues that they have to contend with. And then one will get past it. And they don't realize that they're their own best friends. They just need to communicate with each other more.

So the FNGG Academy.com forum, they can jump on there and start helping each other out. Great resources. So Instagram, Sean Buck Rogers, FNGG Academy in the forum. And, of course, their YouTube channel, FNGG Academy. One last thing before we leave, I heard, I learned about it in your YouTube video. Buck, Buck is your nickname? Yeah. How did you get the nickname Buck?

Yeah, so when I first showed up to the team, I was standing there and, you know, I walk in and I'm all excited. Like, I'm going to go meet my team. It's my new family. And there's just, you know, a few green berets just working, type on computers, ones watching YouTube videos or something, you know, just hanging out. Yeah. And I was like, what's up guys? You know, I'm Sean. I'm the new 18 Bravo.

And they didn't even look up at me. They were just completely like, no one gives a fuck. They're like, shut up. And so I just stood there for a while and I was like, all right, well, this is not what I expected, you know? Like, and then finally one of them looks up the Delta, the medic on the team, finally feels bad enough for me. It looks up and he goes, that's the team started and talked to that guy. And I was like, thank God, you know, something. and I'm visible.

Right, right, they can see me. Yeah, so I go up to Team Sergeant, I stand at parade rest, and I was like, I was like, Mass, Sergeant. I was like, my name is Sean Rogers. You know, I'm the new 18 Bravo for the team. And he looks at me, he goes, don't stand at parade rest. It's fucking weird. And I was like, okay, won't stand at parade rest.

And he's like, what's your name? And I was like, he's not listening to me. Yeah, I thought I just said it. I was like, it's Sean Rogers. And he goes, Rogers, like Buck Rogers, and then goes back to fucking YouTube. And I was like, this sucks. And he didn't even tell me anything after that. I just walked away.

So I just walked out of the team room and was like, we'll try that again tomorrow. Yeah. And their name stuck. Yeah. And then everyone just, what's that book? And I was like, gosh, damn it. Did you ever try and like maybe shed that name, get rid of that name? Or was it just immediately stuck?

So this is for me, why I started actually, using it was because at first I was like I hate it and I wouldn't talk about Buck I was just I'm Sean my name's Sean and then my buddy called me my buddy Jerry amazing Green Bray

he had cancer survivor combat veteran total badass he's like eight deployments he calls me he goes hey Buck and when he said they said hey Buck like it's been my name my whole life it reconnected me to the nickname and I was like it went from

this thing that I was trying to get rid of to now my brothers know me as Buck. To them I'm Buck and when he said it like that I was like okay I'm Buck. That's cool man that's awesome that's awesome well listen man thank you for

spending time with us for being so open honest wonderful with us guys watching this do me a favor and visit make sure you follow Sean on Instagram make sure you check out FNGG Academy on YouTube and subscribe to that channel And of course, check out his website.

And as you guys listen to this episode or watch this episode, do us a favor. Leave us a review and take a screenshot. Tag Sean, tag myself. And as always, don't forget to tell your mama. We'll see you later.