Bedros Keuilian Podcast Show - 198. The Wrong Woman Will Destroy Everything You Build

Episode Date: July 14, 2026

42% OFF - Get your Digital Man Up book + Audiobook + 2 Exclusive MASTERCLASSES https://bit.ly/manuptribeTruLean Supplements | https://bit.ly/trulean-bedrosGet 50% Off Trulean Subscribe & Save BundleUse Code: BEDROS Gentlemen, if you’re tired of picking the wrong woman and watching your life go to hell, this episode will change everything. I break down the exact framework I learned from Darren Hardy’s Compound Effect so you stop settling and start attracting the high-value partner who actually lifts you up. No fluff — just the brutal truth and the steps to become the man she can’t ignore.

Gentlemen, welcome to the Bedrose Coolean show. My name is Bedroskulian, and by the end of this episode, you'll know exactly how to find the right woman for yourself. So without any further ado, let's get going. The reason I came up with this topic for you guys today is because we're about to run the Squire program in about two weeks. And one of the things that we teach at the Squire program when fathers and sons come out to go through that right of passage experience for the day is we teach the four F-bombs, faith, family, fitness, and finance. And as you can imagine, in the family portion of that education that we deliver, well, we talk about how you can find the right woman who will make your life infinitely better, give you peace and respect and be the wind in your wings, or the wrong woman can make your life infinitely worse

because they will end up becoming the human anchor that slows you down, has insecurity, and doubts all of your big decisions, right? And we want to empower these young boys. And so I thought as I was getting ready for the Squire program that it would make sense to be able to teach you this as well. But I'm teaching you in a very different way because there's a piece of it from one of my favorite books that I'm going to share with you here. So, and by the way, whether you're young, you could be in your teens and 20s watching or listening to this episode right now, or you might be someone who has been in a relationship, several relationships, a couple of marriages, even if you're about to go into your second or third. you know, marriage, you might want to use this framework that I'm going to teach you as a filter of are you with the right person or not? Because if you're with the wrong partner,

man, it can become devastating. You're about to repeat a third divorce, fourth divorce, and beyond, right? So it doesn't matter if you're brand new and getting into a relationship for your first time or if you've been in some relationships or marriages and they haven't worked out. This is a framework that I would recommend that you consider. And so here we go. Now, there's this great book by Darren Hardy called The Compound Effect. And the Compound Effect is a self-development book. Highly recommend you guys read it and get it. Because in the book, Darren talks about how you can take these seemingly inconsequential

habits that you might have and make small changes to them across a spectrum of different habits. And over time, small inconsequential habit changes over time can compound, hence the title, compound effect can compound into a newer, better, more elevated version of you, right? And so he writes in his book, this awesome story. And where he goes with it is he says he realized when he was looking for a wife that he needed to be very clear on what type of woman he was looking for. So he went and he started to make a list of the perfect partner for himself, right? And he starts writing down all the different traits that she would have, all the different values

that she would carry, all the different characteristics that she would have, her personality type, right? The types of maybe skills and abilities that she would have, the beliefs, belief systems and faith systems that she might follow. And even physical appearances, right? I mean, he was very methodical. Darren says in this book that he wrote a 40-page document on what the perfect woman for him would look like, right? So then as he as he writes this and gets to the end of the 40 pages and he's

reviewing it and going through and he talks about this in his book, he comes to this conclusion that maybe I should have written 40 pages about what she's looking for, right? And that's a big shift. That's a big shift. And oftentimes when I'm talking to grown men about the relationships that they're in and the relationships that aren't working for them, it will be through the lens of what's wrong with her, what happened with her, the shortcomings that she has, how she's not meeting his expectations, how she's not everything that he was looking for. And I had come to my conclusion over time that if you knew what you were looking for, you would have picked a better partner. But a better partner would not have picked you if you are this version of yourself.

You get what I'm saying, right? Guys, quick interruption to the Bedrose-Coolian show. I want to tell you about the Man Up bundle that I have for you for $29, and 100% of it goes to Shriners Children's Hospital where we're going to do a lot of good and you're going to build an awesome business and have a great life because of it. You not only get the digital version of my international bestselling book, Man Up. You also get the audiobook version of it and two very exclusive masterclass recordings that I did just earlier this month that is focused specifically on scaling your business and having breakthroughs. Scale Strategies Masterclass is all about how to scale your business and

marketing, sales systems, automation, and leadership. And the breakthrough blueprint masterclass is all about breaking through your limiting beliefs, breaking through uncertainties, and breaking through to get to the next level of happiness and success in business and a life. Best of all, you get all of this for 29 bucks because you watch and listen to the Bedros-Culian show. And I'm donating 100% of that money to Shrinas Children's Hospital where they do a lot of good and give a lot of surgeries and medical services to kids whose families can't afford that. So go to manuptribe.com and get the Bedros-Colian man-up bundle before it all sells out. Peace. And so there's this big shift that

you need to go from and you need to go from this, how do I get what I want to who do I need to become to get what I want? And that's the big shift that Darren made. And so what he says is, he ended up scrapping the 40-page document that he made about what the perfect woman would be for him. And he started writing all the different traits that that guy would have. That woman is looking for a very specific type of guy. That woman is going to be attracted to a very specific type of guy. That woman is probably going to be madly in love with a very specific type of guy. That list that he made on 40 pages, that woman,

is looking for a very specific avatar. So he went on and to write 40 pages of what that guy would look like in terms of traits, values, characteristics, personality, skill sets, abilities, belief systems, even physical appearance, right? Everything that he had listed off for her, he listed off in great detail all the way down to the trivial minor stuff, like what time he would wake up in the morning, what his morning routine would be like, what his weekends would be like with her, right? By doing that, he was very clear on what kind of man he needed to become, who he needed to become to find who he was looking

for, or possibly get found, get attracted to, right? And that's the shift that you need to make, fellas. And ladies, if you're watching this, I know about 9% of you that watch and listen to my podcast are women. And, you know, oftentimes it's easier to have this external perspective and say, you know, this is a type of person I'm looking for. I want them to be respectful. I want them to be loving. I want them to be patient. I want them to have emotional discipline. I want them to be mentally tough. I want them to be fit. I want them to be pretty. I want them to be this tall or that short. But what is she looking for? If that's the perfect woman for you, is she looking to marry a toad who's out of shape, who's inconsistent, who doesn't have follow through, who starts something

but doesn't finish it, who's broke, who is not emotionally disciplined himself, who lacks vision for his life and ambition, she's never going to pick. If she's a perfect 10 as you describe her, and I think you should, you should definitely make a list of who you're looking for in your life partner, but then make a list of who she would be most attracted to and then become that guy. And when you do, something magical happens, right? And if you could do this, done deal. I first learned this through my own life experience in my business, right?

I was a personal trainer. I've told you guys this before. I was a struggling personal trainer at LA Fitness making $12.35 or 40 cents per hour. And I had four personal training clients, even though I thought I was going to be certified as a full-time personal trainer and have, you know, 30, 35 clients that I got to work with five, six days a week. Dude, after a year and a half of being certified, I only had four personal trainer. training clients. And one of those four, his name is Jim Franco. I was in my early 20s, probably

mid-20s, 24, 25 years old. He was in his early 60s, a very successful entrepreneur. And Jim Franco kept asking me why I had multiple jobs. I was like, well, look, I'm not a full-time personal trainer, so I'm also a fry cook and bus boy at Disneyland. And then on the weekends, I'm a bouncer at a gay bar. Shout out to Oz Gay Bar. in Point of Park, California, right off the Five Freeway there. Frye Freeway and Beach Boulevard because the gay bar paid more than the straight bar and I was so desperate and hurting for money that I was willing to work there so I can get $3 more per hour.

So I had three jobs as a personal trainer, a busboy in a fry cook at Disneyland, and a bouncer at a gay bar on weekends. So you can imagine on Sunday you go to bed at 2 in the morning because you're a bouncer by the time you have to wake up for your 5.30 a.m. client, you only got like two and a half, three hours of sleep. And so, you know, my clients were like, dude, why are you so tired Monday mornings? I'm like, I've got all these multiple jobs. Jim Franco had inspired me and motivated me. He's like, dude, you know, you could be a business owner. You could have your own personal training studio. You could have other personal trainers working for you.

And I kept thinking to myself, man, I would like that. Imagine having a personal training studio where I was making $50, $60,000 a month in revenue. And I was sharing that with the personal trainers and maybe I got to take, you know, eight to $10,000 of that on a monthly basis, home to me. And then if I could open up a second one, third one, fourth one, fifth one. And so ultimately, Jim Franco inspired me and motivated me and believed in me enough for me to open up my first personal training studio. He brought me books and cassette tapes on entrepreneurship, marketing, leadership,

salesmanship. And I developed the business knowledge that I needed to open up my first personal training studio. And he became my business partner. And he loaned me money. and then I paid him back with interest. But when it was time to go to location 2, 3, 4, and 5, I didn't know how to expand.

That's because now I was making much better money as a personal trainer slash bouncers slash fry cook and busboy. But I found myself stuck in a position where I was undisciplined. I would go to sleep late at night. I'd sleep in in the mornings. Yes, I'm running one personal training studio, had about six other personal trainers working for me. They trained the clients.

I did the marketing and the sales. But I wasn't that guy. that was going to be able to own five personal training studios. That was my goal, to own five gyms. I only had one, and each time I tried to grow to a second location, it was a miserable failure. I would constantly slide back to one location. It was a constant L that I would take a loss.

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And so one day I realized, like, what does the founder of five personal training studios look like? Not just physically. What are his traits? What is his routine? What is his mindset? And I realize he probably reads more books on business, self-development, organization, structure, leadership. He probably goes to sleep earlier, wakes up earlier, creates time blocks to work, right? New levels, new devils, you know that. You know, you can be one

type of person running a personal training studio. You could be, you'd have to be a very different type of person as a founder, leader, CEO to have five gyms. And then I had to very much change myself again, develop a whole new identity to become the founder and CEO, FitBody Boot Camp, where we have hundreds of franchise locations across the U.S. and Canada. That took a very complete metamorphosis of me. Like you constantly have to kill the old version of yourself to become the new version of yourself

based on the new outcomes that you want. You can't say you want the outcome and start working towards it. The outcome might be a 10.0 outcome, but you're stuck in your 2.0 self. If you're the 2.0 self, you've got to develop yourself into that 2.0, 3.0, 4.0 beyond

until you get there. until you become the 10.0 version of the man or woman that could run a 10.0 company organization. That's the same thing in finding your life partner. So what is the framework that you would use? Once I realized that, I realized in every of real life, whether it's you're looking for a spouse, a business partner, or you're developing yourself to the type of person that's going to make hundreds of millions and not just a million dollars a year or a few hundred thousand, there's always a newer version of you that must be made. The older version of you must die, must be killed in terms of who you were and how

you operated so you can give birth to the new version. So the framework is this, right? If you're looking for a partner, like I said, I don't care if you've been divorced, separated, third time, fourth time. There is hope as long as you're willing to make the changes. And so with that in mind, I'm going to give you the four-step framework on how you can find the perfect ideal partner for yourself. All right. So here we go. Let's dive into it. Step number one, you're going to describe your ideal partner in great detail and with massive specificity. And what I mean by that is all of her traits, all of the values, all of the characteristics, all of the personality that you want her to have. Any skills and abilities, looks and appearances, all of it, all of it, all of it. Like be as

specific as you can in describing her, right? How would her demeanor be in the mornings, in the evenings, How would she be as a mom? Like all of it, as much detail as you can because the clear you can make the picture in your mind's eye for your subconscious mind to be able to start visualizing her, the better. Once you've done step one, you go to step two of this framework. And that is to ask yourself, what kind of person would this person be attracted to? Right? And this is where you have to start describing that version of yourself.

Now you have to make a document of yourself, just like Darren Hardy did in his book, compound effect. Now you have to make that document of yourself. So the reason you need to describe her perfectly, clearly, and with massive specificity is so that you can describe what kind of man she would be attracted to. She would be excited to meet. She would want to just do everything for, right? And then you write that down in great specificity in step number two. The more detail, the better, right? So again, you could see yourself like this elevated, higher version of yourself in your mind's eye. Step three, is identify the gaps. And this is where most people don't want to do this because, listen,

it hurts your ego. So you have to kill your ego, put your ego aside. And this is where you have to kill your ego and just identify the gaps between who you are today and what's missing. Well, if you know that she'd be attracted to a guy that wakes up at whatever, five in the morning, meditates, eats clean, works out, and then goes to work to produce money so that she could stay at home and raise the babies. Guess what? You're not that guy right now? You're sleeping in and hitting the snooze button. You wake up and you're disheveled and you're screen sucking and you're drinking an energy drink instead of eating clean. You say you're going to work out but you don't. You're not that guy. Those are all the gaps that you have to identify. Identify all the gaps and write them down

in step number three. It's painful, but it's exposing. And when you do that, you go to the final step, which is step number four. You build the man. Once you identify, Identify the gaps between who you need to be and where you are today then you start building the man and fixing those gaps And when you fix those gaps and you become that guy that she would be attracted to That she would be excited to meet all of a sudden that guy finds himself in different places He's not just on the couch playing video games and on Saturdays and Sundays watching video games He's maybe out there joining a running club working out at a gym, volunteering at a cause or an event at the places that she might be,

because you guys would have shared values. You guys would have commonalities at this point, right? It's rare that you're going to be like, I'm going to be a fat jerk who's lazy, out of shape, and without ambition, but I'm looking for a girl who's a 10 out of 10, smoking hot, worships me like I'm her king, and is just bring so much peace and love to my life. Those two dots will never connect. Never. And so odds are, when you become that sky

and you build yourself to that man, you're going to find yourself in areas that she would be. You're going to put off an energy, a frequency, a vibration that she's going to be attracted to. And God or the universe has a way of aligning people and bringing them together. And all of a sudden, you're going to see her and you're going to recognize her. She's going to see you and she's going to recognize you as the other half of the whole. Right? And just when you think the work is done, it's not. You guys both have done that work

to become that person to find each other and to be excited to be with each other. But then there's work that has to happen together in growth, in understanding, in communication, in patience, And as you guys grow together, this is how you develop and find yourself in a position to attract the perfect partner. Guys, I hope you got a lot of value from this episode. I hope this helped you. And if it did, please do me a favor if you're watching this on YouTube. Subscribe, like, and leave a comment.

When you do those three things, it cost you nothing, yet it tells the algorithm that this was helpful and it will show this to more people so that we can impact more lives of men. And above all, remember this, that average is the enemy. Success is your responsibility. And change can take place in an instant if you are willing to flip the switch. I'll see you next time.