Bedros Keuilian Podcast Show - 205. Non Negotiables For Men in Their 40's | EP. 0205

Episode Date: September 2, 2026

I just turned 52 and sat down to do a full life audit, asking myself one question: what do I know now that I wish I knew at 40? The answer became these 12 non-negotiables — the circle you keep, the content you consume, the friends who've already expired, the comfort that gets more expensive every year you hold onto it, and the healing you keep putting off. In this episode I'm walking you through all 12, so you can stop white-knuckling through life as the reactive, chaotic 1.0 version of yourself and become the 2.0 version: a man who is self-mastered. If you're in your 40s, this is your blueprint. If you're in your 20s or 30s, you've got a head start most men never get. Average is the enemy — let's get after it.42% OFF - Get your Digital Man Up book + Audiobook + 2 Exclusive MASTERCLASSES https://bit.ly/manuptribeOPEN A FIT BODY LOCATIONA High-Profit, Scalable Gym Franchise Opportunity Driven By Impacthttps://bit.ly/bedrosfbb

go from this 1.0 version of yourself that's a human animal that's reactive, that's emotional, that is chaotic and self-sabotaging, and become the 2.0 version of yourself, a man who is self-mastered. Welcome to the Bedroats Coolie and show. Man, life is pretty awesome. I just turned 52 years old and recently I was doing a kind of a life audit, taking inventory of my life. And I thought to myself, what would I want to know in my 40s now that I'm 52 years old? So today I'm going to share with you the 12 non-negotiables for men in their 40s. Guys, welcome to the Bedros-Coolion show. Today's episode is exactly that,

12 non-negotiables for men in their 40s. And this is the show where we talk about money, meaning, and self-mastery, because a man who is dialed in on his money, meaning and self-mastery is a man that cannot be stopped. So I'm 52 years old. And if I can go back and tell the 40-year-old self, these 12 non-negotiables,

here's exactly what I would start with, right? Thing number one, your circle matters more. than ever. I'm telling you this right now. Understand if you're in your 40s, your circle matters more than ever. Because in your 20s and even in your 30s, if you have some shitty people in your circle, some people who maybe encourage you to do some dumb things, hey, let's stay out late, let's drink, let's party, you can recover faster in your 20s and 30s. When you're in your 40s and heading your way to your 50s and 60s, all those things have greater negative impact on you. Right.

And so if you're not curating your circle as you're in your 40s, your 50s, 60s and beyond are going to be unfortunate for you. So, and if you're listening to this and you're in your 20s and 30s, one advantage you have by starting to curate your circle and getting all the knuckleheads and the people that drag you down and encourage you to drink and, you know, kind of put you in front of the vices and really force, I wouldn't say force, they encourage the lesser version of you, the 1.0 version of you to come out. You don't need that. You want people in your circle who are going to lift you up, people who are going to build you who are going to encourage the best version of you, right? Non-negotiable number two, get your health completely checked, right? Here's what I can tell you. Again, youth gives you an advantage when you're in your 20s, even in your mid-30s, right?

All the way to your mid-30s. But I have a lot of friends, and myself included, if you read my book, Man Up, you know that I was 38 years old when I had that massive panic attack that I thought was a heart attack. Now, it wasn't like I wasn't feeling anxiety in my 20s and 30s. I was, but when you're young, you're more resilient. Your body can fight off and hold off all of these things, right? But if you have some kind of stress, depression, anxiety, disease building in you, your 20s and 30s might fight that off.

As you get later on into your 30s, the late 30s, and you get into your 40s, these things start to kind of rear their ugly heads, let alone in your 50s and beyond. So if I was in my early 40s, what would I do? I would get a complete health check, right? You can get an executive health check. There's many different places that offer that. You can get a full on complete health physical, including blood draw. That includes your testosterone levels and hormone levels and thyroid levels and kidney and prostate

and liver and all the things that matter. Because if there are any hidden red flags in your body, you want to find it early because you don't have the benefit of youth as you go into your 40s. to be able to fight that off and to be able to recover faster from sickness, illness, or injury. Non-negotiable number three, change the content that you consume. Today we live in an era of content. And quite honestly, this is for everyone. I don't care if you're like a teenager or if you're in your 70s.

The content that you consume determines the outcome of your life. the two biggest determining factors in everyone's life are the thoughts that occupy their mind. In other words, the content that you consume, whether it's music, social media, television, the news, newspapers, and publications, thoughts that occupy your mind and the people that you surround yourself with. This is why for years I've said, you know, the greatest determining factor for a man's success is who he chooses as a spouse, right? Your spouse is either going to be the the person that lifts you up, gives you peace, encourages you, believes in you, or they're going to be someone that constantly creates chaos in your life, does not give you peace, doubts you,

makes you feel uncertain, and you're always fighting a battle outside in your business or in your work, and then you come home and you're fighting a battle on the home front with your spouse. Right? So the thoughts that occupy your mind and the people that you surround yourself with are the biggest determining factors of your mental, physical, financial well-being. Well, knowing that, why not change the content that you consume? Because that content influences what you think and how you act. You're consuming brain rot content.

Why don't you start consuming content? Read books, do courses, only follow people who are sharing optimistic, inspiring content. And even then determine how little of time. you can commit to that so that you can go and execute on that content that you get from the book, the course, or the social media platforms. Because if you don't, you're going to find yourself now brain rotting on optimistic and positive content. Brain rot is still brain rot, right? Non-negotiable number four for your 40s. You already know what is wrong with your life. That's it. You already know what is wrong with your life. So get to fixing it. By the time you're in

your 40s, you know the habits that you need to change. You know the vices that you know the vices that you need to give up, you know the people that you need to discard out of your life, you know the boundaries that you need to build, you know the lifestyle that you need to adjust. Make those changes. In your 20s and 30s, you can chalk it up to being a knucklehead. You can chalk it up to I recover fast anyway.

In your 40s and beyond, you already know what the problem is. Even in your 20s and 30s, you could be like, well, I'm still in the search of my purpose. I'm still in the search of the right person. I'm still in the search of figuring out what I want to do with my life. In your 40s, you already know what is wrong with your life and you know how to fix it. You're just not doing it.

You're kicking the can down the road. You're procrastinating, right? Action alleviates anxiety. And that's why you have anxiety towards it. That's why you're depressed. That's why you're suffering in silence. You know what's wrong. Get to work on fixing it.

Ain't no more time left when you're in your 40s. Non-negotiable number five. Your kid needs more of your time in the form of experiences and memories than your money. That's it. If you have kids, they need. more of your time than they need your money. See, when your kids are older, now my daughter is 18, my son is 20, they're older, they're more independent, they're doing their thing.

Guess what? They need less of my time. I'm so grateful that when they were younger, when they were small, I intentionally, I purposefully poured into them. Yes, I worked hard in my business, but I always made sure to prioritize my family. And that was important to me because I knew that at some point what we're going to going to have left are the experiences and memories. And now that my daughter is 18, my son is 20. All we do is talk about the awesome experiences that we've had, the places that we've been,

the things that we've done, right? And we are bonded tighter. So as they move on in life, go to university and move out and start their own life, we have all that history that we've built instead of me feeling guilty about the fact that I spent so much time trying to make ends meet because I didn't manage my expenses and because I didn't, you know, get into a vocation or a business or a career that provided the money that now you have this guilt. Now you have this resentment. And they might even have resentment towards you, right? And you don't want that.

They need more of your time, specifically in the form of attention, experience, and memories, experiences. Like, go out and do shit with your kids. Hiking costs you nothing. Going to the beach or the lake costs you nothing. Going on a, going on an eight hour road trip cost you nothing, right? And then if you want to spend a little bit of money, you can and you can have even better experiences.

Like recently, my son and I have been working on his car, right? We're changing the oil, changing the differential fluid. We're working on the brakes. Like, these are cool experiences. We had variations of that when he was smaller. He started one wheeling when he was a kid. If you've never seen a one wheel, it looks like a skateboard with a giant go-cart tire in the middle, just one big tire, and it's electronic and you balance on it and then you lean forward,

it goes forward. You lean back, it goes backwards. Those things go up to like 22 miles per hour, man. They fucking haul ass. If you ever want to break your collarbone, that's what you get as a one wheel. But I share this with you because Andrew started to one wheel, I got into one wheel. Like, that's it. We just did cool shit together. My daughter and I would go on daddy daughter dates every week. Actually, we still do. We'd go work out together. And we still do. And now I've instilled good habits in them and we have experiences and memories that we still laugh about and have a good time about and we can build an adult relationship on right instead of them going ah you know dad fucking never paid attention to me when I was young you don't want that you don't want your kids

to be older and be like dad never really was around you don't want that your dad probably wasn't around my dad wasn't around we can't be just like them non-negotiable number six some friends have already expired If the only thing you have in common with your friends is history, like man, we went to school together, we went to university together. All you have, or we used to work together is, you know, fucking McDonald's. History is not reason enough to stay friends. If you guys don't have shared values, if you guys don't have a shared mission, if you guys

don't have a similar lifestyle anymore, there's no reason to be friends with that person. Remember, the older you get, the less time that you have in life, right? You know, as much as well, I want to live to 100 years old, I think the average American lifespan right now is in the mid-fifth or mid-70s, right? So if you're in your 40s, like, you're beyond halfway through. Do you want to spend time with people that you spend time with them? You're like, man, I don't, I know we have history together, but we really don't have any shared values, nothing in common anymore.

I really don't enjoy my time with him other than talking about the past. You don't want that, right? I think it was in the Sopranos. He said, Tony Sopranos said, remember when is the lowest form of conversation that any two people can have. Remember when we were in high school? Remember when we played football together?

Remember when we played hockey together? Remember when you picked up on that chick? Bro, I want to talk about what we're doing now, what we're going to do in the future, what are shared values, right? Those are the things that matter. And so some people expire out of your life, be willing to say goodbye to them.

That's okay. Non-negotiable number seven. Choose peace of mind over drama, chaos, and stupidity. I'm telling you right now, the older you get, the less patience you're going to have for drama, chaos, and stupidity. Drama is in gossip, workplace gossip, friend gossip. Chaos is in like, you know, the family that you come from, your origin family, things aren't working out. There's all this fucking chaos with mom or your dad or your fucking siblings. You don't need that kind of shit.

You want peace, man. You want peace in your life. And then stupidity. I don't want to be in a stupid relationship. I don't want to have stupid people around me. I don't want stupid friendships. I don't want any kind of stupidity around me, right? You want peace of mind.

Get it in your 40s so that you can enjoy it more in your 50s. I see grown-ass men approaching me at speaking events. And when I'm out there working out of public gym, like, oh, damn, B, I'm in my mid-50s. I'm about to turn 60. And, man, you know, I got this issue going on. And the wife is this. And the kids are that.

And my friends are this. And the coworkers. And my parents are getting old. and they're narcissistic. Guess what? You are the fucking CEO of your life. You have the ability to hire, fire, remove, delete. I guess not delete.

You can't go around whacking people these days, right? No. Ed, can you go around whacking people these days? No. All right. So you can hire fire, remove, promote, but you can't delete people out of your life. You know what I'm saying?

You can't delete, whack people out of your life. But I share this with you because if you don't have peace of mind, When you get older, I'm 52, I got no fucking patience for chaos, for drama and stupidity. And you're not going to have it either. So start fixing that shit now. Non-negotiable number eight. Oh, show. Hey guys, quick interruption to the Bedros-Coolian show.

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fill out the application to see if there's a territory available in your town and your area. And who knows if you're a good fit, we will invite you to the Fit Body Boot Camp family. Now back to the show saying no to more things is massively important remember in your 20s you can say yes to stupid shit and you still have time ahead of you today I'm the king of saying no no no these are the three people I want to spend my time with and that's it right no thank you I'm not going to come to that red carpet event I'm not going to come and speak at that event no thank you I'm not going to come in you know to your to your dinner your networking dinner no thank you no thank you no thank you I don't want that business partnership because I've

value the remaining time I have left in my life more than ever. And so to say yes to the things that really matter, I've become the master at saying no to so many things. So saying no is more important than you think. Be willing to say no to more things that you ought to not be doing so you can say yes to the things that truly matter to you and align with you. Non-negotiable number nine, no one is coming to fix your life. It's on you, baby. That's it. No one is coming to fix your life. Your wife ain't going to fix your life. Your boss ain't going to fix your life. The government's not going to fix your life. Your friends aren't going to fix your life. The influencer that you follow, the thought leader that you follow on social media ain't going to fix your life. It is on

you to fix your life. And if you're in your 40s, you're a grown ass man. You know exactly what is wrong with your life. I don't care if fucking Biden's the president, Kamala Harris is the president, Newsom is the president, or Trump is the president. I am going to fix my own financial situation, mental situation, relational situation, health situation. I'm in charge. Like I said earlier, I'm the CEO of my fucking life. You're the CEO of your life, right? No one is going to come and fix you.

What? The government's going to get better before your life gets better. Your spouse has to give you permission before you can go and start working out. I know a dude who says, you know, his wife gets a little henri when he goes to the gym. She gets a little passive aggressive when he goes to the gym. He's not going to the titty bar. He's going to the gym and she gets onry and passive aggressive. Who has time for that?

Right. And so you got to fix that. You can't wait for her to fix herself. You can't wait for her to have this epiphany. You got to figure out if that's a problem in your life and you don't want it because you don't have peace, how you're going to fix it. Non-negotiable number 10 Lifestyle factors matter more than ever in your 40s. Lifestyle factors like alcohol that you're consuming,

the food that you're eating, the energy drinks that you're drinking, the multiple coffees, the training that you're not doing in the gym that you keep putting off working out. Right before the camera start rolling, Ed was telling me about a guy that he ran into at BK strength at our gym. This guy was a contractor working,

we're doing some modifications to my gym. And Ed ran into him in my gym. Ed goes into their workout. And the guy tells Ed, man, you guys have a nice gym here. You know, I used to work out before I got married. I was like, well, why don't you work out now? It's like, ah, you know, because I'm tired. Well, you got tired because you stopped working out.

You stopped working out because you got married and you decided to extract value from your life, working out, and put it into your marriage. that's not a good thing. I am not going to take away from my health, physical or mental, my peace of mind, to put it into a relationship, right? Like, why would I damage myself? Why would I empty my cup? If my cup is not full, I cannot pour into other people's cups.

You get it, right? And so, so important for you to fix lifestyle factors, man. So important. If you're not exercising, start exercising, you're not eating right, start eating right, track your macros, get your proteins, fats and carbs. carbs that you need. Get rid of all the processed foods that your body doesn't need. Get your sleep on a consistent basis. Manage your stress. Get your training in. And if you're doing all these things, you're going to have a healthier life with the least amount of

friction and frustration, anxiety and depression. Bro, could you imagine going into your 40s and 50s and still living a chaotic life like a 25-year-old knucklehead who's trying to figure life out? most of you in your 40s are living like that. You're still trying to figure out life. You shouldn't be trying to figure out life. You already know what your shit is. Fix it. Fix it. Non-negotiable number 11. The cost of comfort gets more and more expensive every year. In your 40s, you realize that, holy shit, I've got less time ahead of me, you know, statistically speaking, then I have time behind me, right, in terms of years. So comfort gets more. and more expensive. See in your 20s, even in your early 30s, you can be comfortable because you've got

time. I can start making money. I can start hustling. You've got the energy. As you get into your 40s, you have less time ahead of you. And that comfort that you are seeking or that you're holding on to becomes more and more expensive because it's going to cost you more to make money, right? The amount of money you need to retire for your financial security as you get older, for your medical health and services for yourself. Like all the comfort that you're in now, you better get out of that comfort and get into discomfort and start doing the work to improve your life in every capacity, your faith, family fitness, and your finances. And if you don't, I'm telling you, your 50s and 60s are going to be a shit show because you're going to be the guy

working at the Walmart eating the fucking cans of dog food. You know, we hear about that because it's a real thing. And maybe that's an extreme case, but you get the point I'm making. Comfort gets more and more expensive as the years go on. And finally, non-negotiable number 12. Heal yourself. Heal yourself. I get it, man. When we're kids, shit happens to us.

Physical abuse, mental abuse, sexual abuse. In my case, right, I was sexually abused as a kid. It fucked me up. Ficked up my relationships. Fucked up my life. Fucked up my relationship with money. Fucked up my ability to lead people and communicate. I wasn't, didn't feel I was lovable.

I didn't feel I was worthy. All these things. And all for what? because I chose not to heal from what happened to me. I chose to ignore it and put it in a box and put it away. Disassociate from it, right? Compartmentalize as we do as men. So there's no depth in your relationship,

not with your spouse, not with your kids. There's no depth in your friendship. You have these limiting belief systems that you're constantly budding up against in life, in your finances, in your health. Heal your shit. Whatever trauma you went through,

I'm sorry that happened to you. I love you to pieces. I think you're a worthy human being. but you have to heal. You have to go work with the therapist. You have to read the books. You have to take the courses and you have to take the action. Get the coach.

Get the mentor. Start becoming the better version of yourself. Go from this 1.0 version of yourself. That's a human animal that's reactive, that's emotional. That is chaotic and self-sabotaging and become the 2.0 version of yourself. A man who is self-mastered, who has absolute control of his thoughts, feelings, and emotions, emotional discipline, mental toughness, and to fall back in love with the man that you are. You do that in your 40s and you begin to live a better life in your 50s and beyond.

If you don't, you're just going to be white knuckling through life, constantly blaming everybody for the heartache that you're experiencing, the financial deficit that you're in, and the fact that you just, well, you're the gray man living in the shadows. You're like the, you're not the main star of the movie. Like, it's your life and you should be the main star, but instead you're like barely a supporting cast member. And that's a sad and unfortunate thing. But if you start healing yourself, you can change all of that.

So listen, if you really want to do something awesome for yourself, get on board with my domination download newsletter. If you're watching this on YouTube or if you're watching this on any platform, just go into the description box or go to bedroscolion.com. You'll find the link there. It's free to subscribe to the Domination Download newsletter. Every Sunday I send you a beautiful email packed with tactics and strategies for you to win in business and in life. These aren't theories and concepts.

These are in the trenches shit that I have been through, that I am doing to make more money and have an awesome life. And I share these strategies with you so that you could win in business and in life. Bedroskulein.com is a place for that. And if you got any value out of this episode, please do me a favor and share our social media platforms so that we can get more eyeballs. and men to follow through in healing and helping themselves. Guys, thank you so much for watching and listening to this episode of The BK Show. And always remember this, that averages the enemy. Success is your responsibility.

And change can take place in an instant if you are willing to flip the switch. I'll see you next time.