Bedros Keuilian Podcast Show - 212. The Reason Most Men Play Small | EP. 212

Episode Date: October 20, 2026

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Most ambitious men will never see their full potential in business or in life, let alone relationship or health. And the reason is because societal standards have made it acceptable for you to live a life of average and mediocrity. Welcome to the Bedros Kulian Show. Guys, welcome to the Bedros Kulian show. My name is Bedros Kulian. And today's episode is about that.

The reason why most men play small in life, even though deep down inside, you might have great ambition to build a business and empire, to develop a beautiful athletic body, or to to literally build a social media brand where you can influence and impact people as you make more income. And I got to thinking about this and I was like, man, why is it that so many ambitious people, especially dudes, play small in life? And the reason is societal standards will always reward fitting in, right? Let's just face it. Society rewards you, when you fit in, when you don't rock the boat, and when you don't do anything that, you know, weirds people out. And so a lot of what successful people do, and you could look

at success in any category of life, a lot of what successful people do, while they're kind of off-putting to average people, they're misunderstood. The winners in life are misunderstood. And I don't just say this from my own personal experience of being misunderstood because I'm driven, I'm ambitious, I have these great standards and expectations for myself. Keep in mind, man, I've got some amazing coaching clients that I've worked with intimately, you know, each for 12 months or longer. And they come from many different walks of life, you know, several Navy SEAL coaching clients, right? Who come from special operations and want to become entrepreneurs and end up coaching with me.

And I see this in them, too, these five traits that help them become more, well, successful, achieve their goals, reach their fullest potential. And then I think about the pro athletes, like, you know, seven time Mr. Olympia, Phil Heath that I got to work with and coach. And Steve Weatherford, Super Bowl winning champion, right? Football champion. And then I think about the multi-millionaire entrepreneurs that I get to work with. I think about the Marine Raiders that I've worked with, again, from special operations. All of these cats have come from different places and to be the best in their category, whether they're combat warriors or professional athletes or just high performing entrepreneurs who are making

tens of hundreds of millions of dollars, all share these five traits. And the thing is, you have these traits. The difference is you have chosen. Most men choose to almost subtly kill. these traits so that you can fit in because you go to a family barbecue and people go, hey, what are you working on? And if you're like, well, I'm working on this business and I'm ambitious and I'm driven about it and here's how it's going to change the world and here's what it's going to do, there's people who are going to shit on you. That's just a reality. And that's because the whole crab in a bucket story, right? You've probably heard me tell this story before. Crabbs in a bucket will always pull the most ambitious crab who's trying to escape

out of the bucket down. It's not because of any other reason other than they're like, hey, I'm in misery. You got to be in misery too. Right. Think about that. You put a whole bunch of live crabs in a five-gallum bucket and you leave that lid off. You're going to see one eventually get very ambitious and start reaching for the top of that rim. And when they do and start pulling themselves up, all the other crabs from the bottom grab it by its hind legs and pull it down. And that is the societal standards that we look for. Eventually that crab's like, you know what, forget about it.

I'm not going to try and be ambitious and escape. Instead, I will just conform to the mediocrity of living in the bottom of this bucket. Right. And so many grown men do this in life. And then ultimately end up regretting their choices later on down the road. Right? They start having a sense of resentment towards themselves. and the people who were shitting on them because they doubted them

because they were like, are you sure you can do that? What if you fail? What if you don't succeed? What if you look stupid on social media when you're trying to build your brand? What if you don't? And how about this? What if you do? What if you actually do fail and they laugh for a minute and then they stop laughing

and then you try again and eventually you succeed and you win? Who's laughing now, right? I share this with you because grown-ass men who have so much drive, ambition, and motivation, literally stifle all of that to fit in and to not rock the boat. And that is the societal standards that average people reward. And if you are watching this show, you know that the Bedros-Culian show is all about money, meaning, and self-mastery. I want you to make an obscene amount of money and do a lot of good.

for yourself, your family, the people that you support, the charities and causes that you believe in. And I want you to develop so much meaning, purpose, and significance in life that you feel like there's a calling. There's a calling for me. There's something I'm supposed to be doing. This is my duty, right? Meaning. And then, of course, self-mastery, to be able to go inward and fix the trauma, the heartaches,

the rejection, the abuse, all the things that you've had to deal with. with because, well, life comes to us with a whole bunch of unfortunate events that have taken place. Like, I don't know of any one person that has made it into their 30s, 40s, and 50s unscathed emotionally, physically, spiritually, mentally. There's always some kind of physical, mental, emotional abuse that has taken place, trauma that's taken. And if you don't do the self-mastery work, the self-development work, you're going to feel that pain. And it's like going through life, holding a burlap bag full of cinder block and trying to compete with everybody else who does not have a 200-pound bag of cinder block over their shoulder. You simply do not have the advantage that everyone else will.

So then what about the winners in life? What about these people that I was telling you about? Those from special operations, high performers and entrepreneurship, those that obviously who are pro athletes at the highest level that I've gotten to work with. And I see the similarities over and over again. What is it with them, right? What is it with them? Those are people that I consider winners. And it's not like in life when you're born, you're deemed a winner or a loser.

I want you to understand that. I want to drive that home to you because I fucking love you so much. I'm going to tell you the truth. We choose a path of being a winner. We choose a path of being a loser based on the people that we surround ourselves with and the thoughts that we allow to enter our mind, our psyche. and the people around us, if they're low-level average mediocre people, they're going to talk about low-level, average, mediocre things.

And those things that they talk about eventually seep into your brain. And when they do, they become part of your belief system. And if it's part of your belief system, it's going to, well, it's going to influence your daily habits. And your daily habits are going to determine your actions. Your actions will determine whether you do things that will help you win in life or losing life, whether you go to the gym and work out or stay in bed a little longer and sulk and suck on the teats of social media, right? At the end of the day, enough time goes by, you're five and

10 years older and you realize I've got gelatinous titties, a giant belly, and I can't see my ding-dong because my gut is too big and the damn thing has retracted, by the way that does happen. When you begin to get fatter, not only does your body, start pumping out more estrogen, but you also begin to shrink your penis size because of that estrogen. And I'm sharing this with you, fellas, because being a winner in life doesn't just mean financial success. It means relational success. It means health success, fitness. It means knowing that you're a bad motherfucker. Quick interruption to the Bedroes-Cool-Cool-in show to thank you. I want to thank you for watching and listening to the Bedro's School.

Koolen show. My only mission with this show is to help you make more money, have more meaning, and develop more self-mastering your life. And with that, I also want to turn you on to the True Lean Everyday Wellness Shot. Listen, if you care about your health and wellness like I do, then you know that you probably take a bunch of supplements, five to ten supplements a day, vitamins, and things like that. That's why I created the Truelean Everyday Wellness Shot. And I want to send you a box of 30 of these for half off, delivered free right to your door. You just go to trulein.com, use my name Bedroast, during the subscribe and save. offer and you will save 50% on your first order and get free shipping right to your door.

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keep you hydrated all day long, and you can get rid of all the other supplements that you're using and just drink one of these packets every single morning. Just go to trulean.com. Use my name Bedros, and you'll save 50% instantly unsubscribe and save and get free shipping right to your door, and it's backed with a 30-day unconditional money-back guarantee. Now, back to the show. You know what that line is from? If you know what that line is from, I'm a bad motherfucker.

She goes, they're in the restaurant. She goes, well, I don't know which one your wallet is. He goes, it's the one in the bag that says, I'm a bad motherfucker. If you can tell me in the comments what movie that's from, you are the man. Happens to be one of my favorite movies of all time. But I share this with you because the winners in life all have the same traits. And these traits are muscles that you can build and develop. Here's what they look like.

Obsession. You probably have to subdue your obsession, right? You have to hide your obsession, your desire to want to achieve and conquer and do things. Why? Because I want to fit in and I don't want to freak people out around me. You know, everyone's watching sports on the weekends. Maybe I should too. Everyone's social scrolling.

Maybe I should too. Everyone's going to these events and those events and maybe I should too. What for? What for? Because all those everyones that you're talking about are in debt. They're broke. They're in shitty relationships. their health is suffering, and they're not living a life that is designed for them.

They're just living a life of circumstance of however they were raised to live, right? Other people's dreams and ambitions were passed upon them, transferred to them. Dude, I want to live my life intentional. I want you to live your life intentionally, right? So obsessed people are seen as unhealthy or too much. And so what do you do? You put your obsession on the shelf. And then the winners in life are also extremely consistent.

But extremely consistent also means boring, right? Boring. I remember telling someone, my days are super predictable. This is about 12 years ago. I'm like, my days are super predictable. I wake up, I do the same thing. Then by morning time, I do the same thing. And then by afternoon, I do the same thing.

Evening time, same thing, same thing, same thing, seven days a week. They're like, wow, that sounds very boring. Is there anything that you do that's spontaneous? I go, nope. Nope. In fact, if I want to go surfing, I have to have Joan, my assistant, schedule into my calendar for next week or the week after because I time block everything. I'm extremely consistent in the way I do. And this person was actually a surfer, a fellow surfer. And he goes, bro, you do know that the waves don't go by your schedule. The waves go by the wave report. And if the waves are great today and tomorrow and the next day, you ought to be out in the water. You're right. But I'm willing to sacrifice that and go when I'm. I've scheduled it. Now, if I go and the ocean is flat, and it does happen, those of you that are not here living near the mighty Pacific Ocean, believe it or not, sometimes the Pacific Ocean looks very flat without waves, just little ripples, and you can't really surf. I go, if it ends up being

on a day, man, that I go and I can't surf because there's not waves that are big enough, I'm just going to get better at paddling, and I'm going to enjoy my time on the water. I'm going to straddle the board and look out. And usually little dolphins go by, sea lions pop out, turtles, are always curious, so little sea turtles pop out and say hi. Right? Every now and again, my homie Chanta and I, we've seen a couple of sharks. That's when everybody does in about face and we paddle back out to the sand. But I shared this with you because, yes, winners in life are obsessed.

Yes, winners in life and business are also extremely consistent. And that will seem boring to the average and mediocre person who just willy-nilly lives off impulse, right? The winners in life are also constantly saying no. say no to so many things and they are seen as antisocial. That person is reclusive. They're antisocial. They never come out and do anything. They always say no to things.

Well, guess what? We say no to a lot of things so that we can say yes to the one, two or three things that are meant for us, that are designed to give us the life that we want. Remember, I said, I want to live a life of intention. I want to live a life by design, not by circumstance, not by just, you know, as the author talks about in outwitting the devil, I don't want to be a rudderless ship just waiting down the river hitting every bank as the river turns. I want to be able to control my path going down the river of life, right? And for that to happen, I need to be obsessed about the things that

I'm excited to do, right? And with that, I have to be very extremely consistent. And I have to say no to a lot of things so I can say yes to the few things that matter to me, right? you know, my health matters to me. I want to stay lean and healthy and active for as long as I can. I'm 52 years old. I've got abs. I'm jacked. I get on the jiu-sitsum mats.

I'm doing my thing in the gym. Like, I love that, man. I can go on long hikes. I can do the hard things. And it's a good feeling to be able to not only do that for myself, but to inspire my kids, to inspire people around me who are like, damn, B, well, you don't look 52.

You don't act 52. You're right. I could be a little immature at times. But that aside, that's an important thing to me. And I have to say no to a lot of things so I could say yes to the meal prepping that I do. I could say yes to the workouts

that I do twice a day, right? I can say yes to building my empire, building FitBody Boot Camp even bigger and truling supplements and fuel will hunt apparel and FitProTracker software. Those are the things I'm excited about that I get to help people and industries with better products and services.

Right? Like that makes me happy. that I get to innovate and create things that make people's businesses and lives better. Like I know intentionally what makes me happy. Like, I don't necessarily do what makes other people happy just because everyone else is doing it. Therefore, B's going to do it. Nope, not really. I get paid to get on stages and speak.

Everyone else is up on stage with a suit. I'm up on stage with a T-shirt, jeans, and chucks. That's it. Why? I don't care to have a suit. I don't care to have a suit. I tried it many, many years ago. Wasn't my thing.

That's when I thought, well, as a speaker, I have to conform and I've got to get on stage and I've got to look apart. No, you know what makes me look apart? My bank account. The people that I've impacted and the thousands of testimonials that I've gotten and gained on our websites. Like, that's what makes me look apart. The actual undeniable truth and confidence that I've developed doing the thing that I do, building my companies, selling some of them, right? And so if you can say no to a lot of things, you can say yes to the main thing. And then of course there's the impatience.

Yeah, guess what? When you are impatient as a high performer, oh, people see that as rude and you're too intense and you're too demanding. No, I'm impatient. I want things done now. I expect that of myself. I expect out of the people around me. And if it's not happening, I'll call them out.

Kindly, respectfully, but I'll ask them what gives? Because there's a timeline that we need things done in. right it's okay to be impatient see i'm here to tell you it is okay i give you permission to be obsessed to be extreme to be to be able to say no to a lot of things so you can say yes to the things that matter to be impatient with the people around you and then finally to have high standards see high standards well they're they're translated to arrogance by the average and mediocre people by the unwashed masses if you've got high standards they're going to see you as an arrogant prick. Oh, look at this guy. Oh, he doesn't want to eat there. Oh, he doesn't want to drive there.

He always has to go private or first class. Guess what? It's a standard that I've set for myself. And I work my nuts off to be able to afford those standards. And I want those standards not to be fucked with. And so if your standards do not align with mine, we don't have to be friends. I can be respectful and kind to you, but we don't have to be friends. Are you willing to do that? Because I'm here to tell you that the reason most men play small and stay small in their life is because they have so much ambition. They have so many great beautiful dreams in their head and their heart. But they fear getting judged by others.

As my Australian friends call it, the tall poppy syndrome. Right? The poppy plant. The tallest plant of the poppy always gets clipped so that there's uniformity and consistency. Right? Don't rock the boat. Fit in. the winners in life, the change makers in life, the people that are literally living life by

intention and by design, they are the ones that are constantly misunderstood. They are seen as unhealthy, as too much, as boring, as antisocial, as intense, as demanding, and as arrogant. But I'll take all those things and I'll say, actually, no, I'm obsessed, I'm extremely consistent. I have to say no to a lot of things so that I can say yes to the things that, truly matter to me, yes, I'm impatient and I have massively high standards and expectations for myself. And I'm not going to apologize for that, nor should you. This is what winners are made.

And here you are a beautiful fucking lion of a man with claws and fangs. And then what do you do? You contract your claws and fangs because you're like, oh, maybe I should be like all the sheep around me, right? No, no. You've got claws and fangs for, reason. Now I'm not saying go be an asshole, go be a jerk to humanity. All those people that I talked about, my coaching clients that have come from special operations community, you know, high level sports, world class athletes, multi-millionaires, some of the most kindest, most compassionate, most gentle people on the planet. But when they are in their arena, oh, they are ruthlessly aggressive. And I've told you this before. My sport, my battlefield is this. Is this,

the field of entrepreneurship. And when I'm in my battlefield, I'm ruthlessly aggressive. Don't get that mixed up with then being an asshole and not kind to people. I will be kind. I will be understanding. I will be compassionate. But expectations and standards will not change. My intensity and passion for where I'm going and who I want to take with me will not change. Now, if you don't want to be on that ride, you don't have to be in. This is what I'm trying to stress to you, fellas. Now, I know what you're going to say because I hear this often when I give this diatribe to dudes who come up to me in gyms and places and go, hey man, Bedros, I'm ambitious, I'm driven. But, you know, man, when I get obsessed, when I start, like, getting massively focused, I set high standards, my lady's like,

yeah, but we're not having fun. Why can't we go out and drink? Why can't we do this? And why can't we do that and stay up late and go to this wedding and go to that funeral and that birthday party? Like, what do I do about that? You've got to get her on board with it, bro. You've got to get her on board with it. Draw what that life looks like in the next five years. if she gives you the space, the support, the respect, and the appreciation for getting after it. And remind her that as men, we are like German Shepherd dogs. We need a sense of purpose. We need a sense of service.

And we need to have a mission to go after every single day. Because if we don't, just like a German Shepherd dog, we will get depressed and anxious and start digging holes in the backyard. metaphorically that is the equivalent of a man digging holes in his life that's where you start drinking and that's where he starts spending more time on social media as a way to escape your reality your frustration that you have right so I'm here to tell you man you got claws and fangs use them use them you got a dream and ambition in your heart get out there and do it be willing to be misunderstood that gift that you you have that God has put in your head and heart, what a shame it would be for you to die

without knowing exactly what your highest potential is in business, in money, in impact, in influence, in your health and fitness and physique. What a shame that would be. And the only person to blame wouldn't be the people around you that you listen to, not your mom and dad, not your spouse, not your boss, not your friends, not your kids. The only person to blame when you have that regret would be you. That regret and resentment would land squarely with you. So I want to give you permission, fellas, to go out and conquer. Now, that doesn't also mean to not live a life with your partner, with your spouse,

where you enjoy and recharge, but don't ever choose mediocrity over savagery. Guys, thank you for watching this episode of the Bedros-Culian show. If you're watching this on YouTube, please do me a favor and subscribe. 74% of you watching this are not subscribed. It would mean a lot to me and the channel. If you would subscribe, like, and leave a comment so that the algorithms can show this to more men and we can help more men win in life. And above all, remember this, that averages the enemy.

Success is your responsibility. And change can take place in an instant if you are willing to flip the switch. I'll see you next time.