Bedros Keuilian Podcast Show - David Meltzer: Is Your Self Worth Your Net Worth? - 081

Episode Date: January 9, 2019

In this episode, Bedros Keuilian interviews David Meltzer -- the man who became a millionaire nine months out of law school. Like so many people who find success early in their careers, David ended up surrounding himself with the wrong people and had to dig deep to rekindle his true motivations as an entrepreneur. Today, David’s businesses are more profitable than ever, his relationships are solid, and he’s rich AND happy. Watch or listen now to hear the profound lessons he learned along the way.   “Don’t make a permanent decision on temporary feelings.” - Bedros Keuilian Here’s what you’ll discover: 3:57 - When and why you should IGNORE the advice of the people who love you 5:16 - How David outsold the next highest earning sales rep at his job by 3X 8:15 - The UNselfish reason David decided to get OBSCENELY rich 14:36 - How David ended up filing for bankruptcy -- and what you can learn from his mistakes 25:20 - Why David couldn’t handle his empire when he had it, and why he CAN grow is empire now   “It’s not supposed to be easy. The burden’s going to equal the blessing.” – David Meltzer   Follow us on Instagram: @bedroskeuilian / @davidmeltzer Buy Man Up: https://manup.com/ Make sure to review us on iTunes: http://bit.ly/theempireshow

Although I had everything I ever dreamed of and more. I could, whatever I wanted, my mom was the one that lived in more than enough. And I was the one that was living in not enough. And I was going to change that. I wanted to be more like my mom than ever. Here on The Empire Show, we help passionate and purpose-driven entrepreneurs like you, turn your idea into a business and your business into an industry-transforming empire so that you can grow your income, impact, and influence.

If you're a new listener, then welcome to the show. And be sure to subscribe to our podcast. And if you're looking to dominate in business and in life, then this is the show for you. Hey, friends, Pedro's Kulian here. Welcome to another episode of the Empire Podcast Show. Here today, we have a very special guest who's fascinating to me, and I think there'll be a fascinating guest for you as well. And as we go deep into the inside look, I'd like to welcome Dave Metzler,

CEO of Sports One Marketing. Welcome to the show, my friend. I'm going to screw you up right away because it's Mel. Meltzer, like Seltser. Meltzer. But I'm fine with it. Welcome to the show, Dave Meltzer, like Selzer, but with an M. And so earlier as we were talking here, you're like, hey, I was a millionaire nine months out of law school. You typically don't hear that because when someone comes out of law school, they're paying off debt and they're grinding it out. Yeah.

What the fuck happened? It's a great question, right? So when I graduated law school, my whole goal was to be rich, first of all. And the reason was born into six kids, single mom, all I wanted to do is buy her a house in a car. That was all I wanted. So when I graduated law school, I worked really hard. After wanting to be a doctor, after wanting to be a professional football player, I followed my mom's clue, which was doctor, lawyer, or failure. I knew the football thing wasn't going to work out when I got to college and got ran over. I went to the doctor scene.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, how'd you get run over? First freshman year in college, I'm the bullocks. I'm the fastest guy on the team. So they have me at the bullet freshman year. I'm flying down. I get there right when the ball arrives, smashing to the guy. Next thing I know, I'm literally at 147 pounds,

flying on my back. And the guy actually stepped on me. And I found out later the running back was Christian Akoye, who became the AFC running back of the year. They called him the Nigerian nightmare. I still have Nigerian nightmares. But that's when I decided, oh, my gosh, my mom must have been right. I better go to med school like my brother.

I visited him, though, and I have this saying, you've got to be more interested than interesting. My brother, I showed up at the hospital. I'm like, man, I hate hospitals. He goes, Dave, you're pre-med. I go, yeah, because I want to be rich. He goes, you know you have to be in a hospital to be a doctor. I'm like, no, I'm going to be a sports doctor.

I'm going to be on fields. He goes, no moron. You need to be more interested than interesting. That one lesson, though, changed my life. In fact, later in life, I became CEO of the most notable sports agency. and invariably so many kids always say to me, I want to be, you know, Jerry McGuire just like you, and I think back and go, be more interested than interesting,

learn what it actually like to do something. Go to law school, though, after I couldn't be a doctor, it fit me. I had two job offers. One was to be an oil and gas litigator, which I knew eventually I'd make enough money to buy my mom a house, a car, and pay back my law loans, like I said, had 100 grand of those, or sell legal research on the,

line in the early 90s. This was 56K modems, right? This is DOS. And I went to my mom and I asked her, what should I do? I really want to be rich. I want to buy you a house. What should I do? Without blinking, my mom said, you need to be a real lawyer because this internet thing, it's a fad. Really? Yeah. So lesson number two that I learned at this time was just because someone loves you. And trust me, like every Jewish mom, my mom loves me way too much. Just because someone loves you, though doesn't mean they give you good advice. Did you say six kids? Yeah, my mom had five boys and a girl.

Where did you fall in that pecking order? Mid-oldest, yeah. So number three, I guess, on the pecking order. How did everybody else fare? I'm just curious. Extremely well. We were all driven. You wouldn't know this by looking at my mom,

but she's a black belt. She's a martial, third-degree black belt in the martial art of Jewish guilt. And so my siblings went to Harvard Penn, Columbia, doctors, lawyers. The smartest one, consumer cumulality at Harvard ended up being a rabbi. No kidding.

And speak six languages, speaks Russian. But extraordinary academic intellectual people that I wasn't. I liked sports and I like business and I like money. But nonetheless, I learned that lesson that I wasn't going to resent my mother for being a second grade teacher. Sure. And so I decided. She had the best of intentions for you. Of course.

But it was a good lesson because I think kids get caught up in listening to the wrong people because they love them. Yeah. I search out today still mentors that sit in this situation I want to be in. But I took this internet job selling legal research and within nine months. I mean, I was making ridiculous money. They had to change my comp plan after six months because... Were you being overpaid? Is that one?

Yeah. Well, what happened was everyone else in the job had been selling books. Yeah. And they were all new to the internet. They also were six figure guys who had families, children. They lost, you know, not me. I'm a street hustling up at 4 a.m. And I literally was three times the next guy in revenue that I generated.

Because I went and every morning, 4 a.m., I drove to the farthest part of my territory. And I just cold call my way down and sold everybody. And every night, I had no life but to make money because I wanted to be rich. And like I said, nine months into it, I was so happy. I bought my mom a house, a car, and I paid back my long-law. So let me understand here something, David. So because you're the, so the next closest guy or gal. Out of 700 sales reps.

Out of 700 sales reps, you're making 300% more. 300% more. And because of that, they modify your pay plan. Yeah, they modify. Instead of saying, hey, man, congratulations. You're doing a great job. How can we pay you more? Yeah.

How did you feel about that? I'm curious. To be honest, I was so young and so poor and so happy. My biggest thing was trying to reconcile that they weren't. going to fire me that I was doing something wrong. My expense account was like 80 grand. I got an apartment in a car and dry cling. I was so poor, Bedroost, that you might understand this. I got $25 a day per diem. No matter what, I just, right? I got $25. So I ate peanut butter and jelly. Like when I was little, my mom would come home from school, pack our dinners, and then go fill

up turnstiles with greeting cards. So I have a saying about parents, and I'm a parent of four now. Like, I don't listen to my mom, but I watched her. She could tell me advice And it would go in one ear I roll my eyes but I watched her I watched what it took to be successful And continually in my life About unconditional love and other

Things that I didn't understand because one thing you'll learn About me throughout my life My wife and my mom No matter how successful financially I was Kept telling me I don't get it Like no matter how fine They were just big together like teaming up On me all the time that I was lost

And I'd say I got a Ferrari what are you talking I bought your house I you have a nanny so what did they mean by that why don't you share that with our audience so you don't get it and these are two very influential women in your life the most the most still today yeah so what happened was I attached my happiness to an ends which was to be rich sure and then when I was rich buy my mom a house a car which my only purpose I thought that I lived in a world of not enough so I needed more and more I bought more things different things. I was driven. I only talked about money. My self-worth was how much was in my bank account

or what car I drove, what boat I had, what Rancho Santa Fe home. I bought a golf course, a ski mountain, I had everything. But for the first time, I'm not one of those guys that said I grew up poor and it was so tough because I grew up really poor, but I was super happy. In fact, the reason I wanted to be rich, I'll try to say this on choking up, is I'd catch my mom crying because the car would break down. Sure. We had to get food stamps once. You know, And I catch her crying. In my head, I'm like, God, my life is so awesome. If I could just make my mom happy, right?

So how am I going to do that? Make some cash. And ironically, it just kept going and going to one day when I built this huge home with my wife. We have three gorgeous daughters living in Rancho Santa Fe, her dream home. I lied in bed, looked up and said, oh shit, I'm not happy. First time in my life. And through that whole process to get to the unhappy. my wife and mother would stop me and say what is this worth my dad gave me a warning i didn't

even get along with my father and at my 30 he forgot my birthday my 10th birthday it's the saddest story of my life and to project his insecurity told me you know what i didn't forget your birthday i don't believe in birthdays my dad left when i was five so for 20 years he punished me and at 30 he gave me a jacket perfectly fitting suit coat i was so excited i opened it up all the pockets were worn out I tore out. I'm like, why will you punish me again? My dad said, no, you remind me of me and I don't want you to be like me. Your mom, your wife, you don't get it, David.

You don't need to be the richest man in the cemetery. Stop. And that warning kept coming in my life. And so all my monetary, money-driven dreams that were attached to my happiness soon caught up with me. I surrounded myself with the wrong people. I had the wrong values. I lost all the Ohio Jewish kid values that I learned that you joked about.

Gratitude, empathy, forgiveness, accountability. Everything was blame, shame, and justification. And most importantly, I wasn't living an inspired life anymore. I used to be, it still I am now, but passing it purposeful to be profitable, right? I was driven to save my mom and be happy. When that was gone, I didn't know what to do. So I'm curious about something that where, where as this kid, where you're thinking, gosh, if I just, if I can just get my mom to stop crying, which means let me get her a car that's working.

Yeah. a house, right? And so you were happy with not a lot of stuff. What changed where you got so possession driven? And not to say that possessions are bad, but I'm curious, what changed were the women around you who you loved and respected were like, hey, dude, you're way off the reservation here.

What happened? I surrounded myself with the wrong people, the wrong ideas, a bunch of yes people. People who called me Midas. You know, it was all about my identity and my net worth was all I heard from, Elementary school, junior high school, high school, college, law school friends. My identity was, oh, you know, Dave, he's rich.

He's amazing. Why? Because he makes a lot of money. Dave was so smart. And people would call me and ask me for advice and invest in my companies. Everything was around my own self-worth was that net worth. And my mom and wife who knew the side, like my wife married, she's known me since the fourth grade, but marry me, hated me back then, by the way. But marry me because of a character, the things that I live by today, I was always.

I was always extremely grateful. I was always forgiving. You know, I was just a really good person. And eventually I evolved into an A-Hull, you know, someone that was only concerned. And I did really bad things, right? I partied way too much. I lied.

I always tell people the very simple transition was somehow I went from being a motivator to a manipulator and I needed to lose. I've been, I oversold, I back-end sold. You and I see this. The reason I wanted to come on your podcast is what frustrates me about a lot of these other guys they're manipulators.

You're a motivator. Sure, sure. But you know, a dear friend of mine who, he started in the late 90s, early 2000s, if you were to read in the back of Maxim magazine and car magazines, and you would see those full page ads for the penis enlargement pills, he's the guy that started those. And he was so good at writing the copy that he ended up getting a deal with Playboy and Maxim and all these FHM magazine that says, hey, look,

I see competitors coming on board. I will buy 12 months of ad placement if you just lock out my competitors. He very quickly created a $100 million company off supplements that he was paying $2.50 a bottle selling for $49. You can imagine the profits on the $100 million. Yeah. And over a private dinner, he said, you know, a good entrepreneur, a good marketer who's going to be successful, has to have the ability to con someone but the ethics not to. Am I hearing you say that at some point you veered away from your ethics?

Yeah. Is that oversold, back end sold, manipulated, and lied to people. And, you know, and that karma, that energy, I surrounded myself with people that that was acceptable in the norm. Yeah. And, you know, for me, it was two years before I lost it all that I shifted. And I shifted on a final warning that happened in one day. In the morning, I played golf with one of my oldest friends. And he said, I said to him, why don't you hang out with me anymore? And he said, because I don't like who you hang out with. And I said, oh, but I'm not doing what those guys are doing. And my friend Rob said, you know what? You can lie to me, but don't lie to yourself, man. Just that vacation, right? So came home. I ended up partying that night, going to the Grammys with Little John, the rapper, lying to my wife, came home at 5.30 in the morning.

And for the first time in my life, my wife really gave it to me. And I had no idea. When I woke up in the morning and she told me she wasn't happy, and my mindset was, are you kidding? Look where we live. Look what we have. Look in the garage. Look at your nanny.

Like, this is how sick my mind had gotten. And I could see it in her eyes. And I will tell you, because that I adore my mom and my wife, it was like shock treatment to me. You know, some people can just quit cold turkey. I couldn't imagine, but I did. I just literally went back. She told me to take stock in who I was and what I wanted to become if I wanted to save

our life together. And cold turkey, I started. And then I started attracting all these cool people into my life. So before we get to, before we get to the cool people, I'm curious, you know, you have a golf course, you have a ski resort, you have all these possessions, great things to have. But at some point, you lose it. And it wasn't that long ago, you know, somewhat 10, 11 years ago, right? You lose it. How did you lose it?

What caused the chips to go down for you to file bankruptcy? And I know it's something that you believe in, too, is I stop at it. asking for help right I'd been so successful sure that I went ahead and I made one foolish air I got into a lawsuit as a lawyer and I wanted is it with the neighbor who I believed had committed fraud on me and with no accountability of my own and several things that happened but I wanted to prove that I was right now my wife also wanted to prove because it was a neighbor right and there's a huge war so I spent millions of dollars of cash trying to prove that I was right meanwhile never bothered me because I had so much equity right all my properties were worth a ton

what I didn't realize because I never asked for guidance or help or advice is that just because you have equity in a property doesn't mean you can borrow against it so as and I was renting properties making money off the properties and I knew the economy was going to go down but I didn't mind because I had enough equity and they were cash flowing and I knew the market would go back up where we are now sure but when I went to the bank to say hey you know I I got a lot of bills. Can I get $5 million? The bank said, no, I'm like, whoa, whoa, what do you mean?

No, I got tons of equity. They said, yeah, yeah, but the economy's going down. You're already leveraged. You're not a good bet. So then I went to other people. Pretty soon, I'm going to so many people looking for money that no one wants to give me money at all. But the bills don't stop.

Nope. Right? And the lawsuit didn't stop. And then I end up getting a judgment against me on the lawsuit, because as later was proven, I had a legal malpractice case because my lawyer used the wrong staff. statute, right? But it was all the universe telling me, hey man, it's time to start over and live your life the right way. Are you bitter about any of this? No, I'm so great. I'm one of the

few people. Were you bitter about any of this? I was scared, but I will tell you, because of the bankruptcy happened two years after what I call my quantum shift in life, I started waking up every morning and telling literally my prayer was to make God put 10 people in front of me, I can help. I'm born with a gift. I believe in an unconscious competency. I've always been able to attract money. which is why you said from, wait a second, guys out of law school don't become millionaires. I'm gonna, I can attract money. What I didn't know was how to keep it

and two, what to do with it. And so I shifted my paradigm of value, trusting the universe and it was an acquired, and it still is, I trust it more and more, but I give unconditionally. I don't trade, I don't give to get ever, right? And that's a condition that I practiced because at first I kind of was on that route to learn, right?

Okay, I'm gonna do this for good karma. Yeah. No, not anymore. But I changed my life to shift this paradigm of value. And the only thing that was really scary for me and the hardest thing I've ever done, but also the most rewarding and enlightening, was I woke up the morning that I claimed bankruptcy,

not only realizing that I'm going to go up to Lee Steinberg, the most famous sports agent in the world, who hired me because I'm so successful, to tell him I'm really not that successful. Because by that point, you were working for him for his company, right? For almost two years. And it almost made me out to be a liar, right? because I hadn't really shared with him

the difficulties I was having. Right. That was scary, but way worse. Were you living with a lot of anxiety, David, back then? Because you're hiding so much information from so many people. Yeah. I was living, I was living a lie. And, you know, first I'm lying to my wife, right?

I mean, there's so much. And now I'm on the right road, but I'm trying to fix it all. Yeah. And so when you have this conversation with Lee, yeah. What do you think is going to happen versus what really happened? I was thinking that maybe he would ask me to translate. out that I wasn't the right person or brand for him.

That didn't happen at all. He had told me that he had gone bankrupt and that he had an idea that I was under financial stress, you know, and that it's fine. And two, what can he do for me? And Warren Moon, who ended up being my business partner in the last 10 years as well, because Lee ended up having his own secrets about being an alcoholic. Sure, right. Warren was also very supportive of me.

of me. Now Warren is a Hall of Fame quarterback. Yeah, from the Houston Oilers, right? How did you and Warren connect? Because now your business partners. Yeah, Warren was a client and he, then he was a partner at Lee Steinberg. So my office was between Warren and Lee's, and Warren was Lee's best friend. So through the alcoholism thing, too, I was helping Lee as well with Warren. And Warren's the one that told me we should spin off and let Lee bottom out, which was a really difficult thing because for almost two years, people thought Warren stole me away and started this great business and we left Lee because we couldn't tell the public that Lee was having issues and why we did it. We had hundreds of phone calls

when Lee went public about being an alcoholic asking us to forgive people saying, I'm so sorry. But we held that higher standard. Going back to the harder part, though, than Lee Steinberg, imagine this. I had to wake up before I went to work and go over to my mom's house. Remember, the reason I wanted to be rich was only to buy my my house in a car. I had to tell my mom that I was a failure, doctor, lawyer, failure. But worse than that, I had to tell her, I still get choked up, that not only had I lost everything, but she was going to have to move because I lost her house. And she didn't blink, and she said to me, are you okay?

Can I give you money? There was unconditional. I realized at that time that although I had everything I ever dreamed of and more, I could whatever I wanted my mom was the one that lived in more than enough and I was the one that was living in not enough and I was going to change that I wanted to be more like my mom than ever my whole life I was kind of ashamed of her I loved her but I couldn't understand why she sacrificed everything for everyone teacher no like all these hard things for everyone else doesn't she want it for herself and then I realized that everything just comes through my mom for other people and that's what appreciation was not only to be grateful for what you do have, but to add value to it and give it to other people. So you saw firsthand your mom living in abundance, yet you had possession wise, money wise, assets wise, you had a lot more, yet you were living in the scarcity mindset, that's what I'm hearing you say. Which we see here all the time.

How did that mindset change from scarcity to abundance? And the reason I asked this, let me set the scene is because remember Empire Podcasts, we have literally hundreds of thousands of entrepreneurs who either are in that idea to business or business to empire phase. And I know the idea to business phase comes with a lot of scarcity. The business to empire, people can get a little more abundant minded there because they do the self-development work. But I'm curious, where did that paradigm shift come for you? It happened when I met a medical doctor on an airplane. And this woman looked at me. I was doing very well at the time, working for Lee. And she said to me, are you okay? I was sitting right

next to her on the plane. I'm like, yeah, I'm okay. She goes, oh, you're just so full of light, but you're blocking it. So I kind of roll my eyes because my wife was very spiritual at the time. And I wasn't. And I'm like, oh, okay. She goes, do you meditate? I literally popped off to her. No, my wife meditates.

I was born poor. I went through the whole speech. I worked for Lee Steinberg. I don't have time to meditate nor do I need. I'm a multi-millionaire. Like literally, telling her, why would I meditate mess with something that works? And she said, oh, that's too bad because I can, teach you to vibrate faster.

Like my eyes, I'm like, what the heck does that? So I literally had to ask, right? What does that have to do with meditation? And she explained to me, everything vibrates. The earth vibrates the slowest, plants, animals, humans, and sound, then light, then thought. And then she rocked my world by saying, do you know what thought vibrates the fastest?

And I said, no, she said the truth. And she goes, the truth vibrate. My hair rose, I'm like, and she said, and even more importantly, what meditation does for you is that you're only aware of that which vibrates equal to or less than you. By meditating every day, I can raise your awareness. By raising your awareness, I make life simple. I make life simple.

You'll know whether to go left or right, which may save your marriage. You can be a billionaire tomorrow with the right awareness, because you know when to buy and when to sell. But most importantly, awareness allows you to be happy and to help other people become happy. Would you like to learn how? And I did. And that to me was the shift.

And that allowed me to start attracting consciously, subconsciously and unconsciously all the right people and all the right ideas back into my life. And I started learning. And I lived an inspired life. And it just changed me completely. And the best part is now I'm 10 years later and it's easy, like you said. Sure. But I'm telling you, there was days that, like, I'll give you an example. First check.

Now, I walked away from everything. I had equity. I was blessed to have a bankruptcy where I don't think anyone really got it. hurt, right? Because there was money, things just had to unravel, and I didn't want to deal with it. I just wanted to start over, and I had a job of Lee. So I took my first paycheck, rented house, rented furniture, they took my car, my motorhome, my boats, my properties. I literally took my first check and went to my wife and said, you know what, I want to go to college and my siblings want to go to college unless someone gave a scholarship. Warren has a scholarship fund to give kids

scholarships to college for giving community give back. They're not grade-based. It's risk-based, but kids who are enlightened enough to still help other people, even though they need help. And I'm like, I want to go to my high school in San Diego and give a scholarship. Is that okay? And she looked at me, and guess what she said?

She said, oh, you finally get it. And I was like, yeah, I trust the universe. She said, really? Then double it. This is what my wife said. I go, literally, I don't trust the universe that much. So you didn't double it? I didn't double it.

But I worked on it every month. And it was painful. We talked about that painful time, right? It's easy to be abundant. I was for, I can't tell you second month. And I'm like, well, maybe I'll skip a month. I got three daughters that aren't even teenagers yet. They don't have college paid for.

They don't have weddings paid for. My wife was pregnant with my son. I still, I forced, forcing that scarcity, right? And I think the same thing happens as an entrepreneur when we're building business. It's not supposed to be easy. Right? The burden's going to equal the blessing. It's what you need to do.

You've got to be tested to have your testimony. You've got to grow. You've got to grow the vessel to handle the empire. I couldn't handle my empire when I had it. Why? Because everything was happening for me, not through me for others. So I'm curious. Now, you're in a very different place in life.

You've got, you know, Sports One marketing. What type of business do you run? Like, who's your ideal customer? What do you do for them? What do they get out of it? What do you get out of it? It's evolved. Let's learn about your business.

Yeah, so it's evolved. It was originally driven by clients like Troy Aikman, Steve Young, Warren Moon. As bug lights to attract business for mostly sponsorship, right, always with a charitable cause or purpose. That was the original onset. Then it moved to kind of using Lee as my bug light. Then it moved to Warren Moon was my bug light. Now it's moved to me as a personal brand. I attract the business.

I have a book, a speaking, coaching, TV show, podcast. I'm the bug light, but what the business is, is I attract the business for two purposes. One, sponsorship to raise money for charities, causes and purposes, and two, media. So I got involved with my own brand, with Gary Vaynerchuk helping me, but I started realizing there's a huge niche for short-form video, for athletes, celebrities, entertainers, events, you know, company, sponsors. So not only do we do the sponsorship, but now we capture, amplify, and prepare. that with video content. And so that media side of things has really taken off. And that's been

the business model. Once again, always with a charitable purpose or cause tied to it. Now I'm curious. So a brand new entrepreneur watching this and going, hmm, all right, Dave, you're making a lot of sense. There are some charities and churches and causes that I believe in. However, I'm going to wait. What do you tell them? When should they start giving, tithing, donating to the charities they believe in? I believe that you don't have to give your money initially. Okay. You can't give what you don't have. My business model and mission statement is make a lot of money to help a lot of people have a lot of fun. I used to look and get frustrated with Warren Buffett, for example, because I thought he was scarce. Meanwhile, what he was was far more enlightened to me because he understands compound interest

and understood the power of what he could do. And he's literally the most generous person ever on earth, not just because he's going to give all his billions away, but more importantly, he's motivated the other billionaires in the world to give at least half of theirs away. But when he was 50, people would look upon him going, that guy's so stingy. He drives an Oldsmobile. He lives in a $300,000 house. He doesn't give anything to charity. He just keeps miserring his money.

Yeah, but he had a plan. So it's okay to have your plan, but what he did do was volunteer his time. He had a lot of financial literacy classes that he, most people don't know this about him. He was giving his time, his education, and empowerment. I still do that as well. But everyone can give a little bit. The universe, there's man-made constructs of the universe that people don't realize that the universe doesn't understand.

Linear time, the universe doesn't understand. Our multidimensional time that's in our own perspective, universe understands, linear time. It also doesn't understand size. So if you give on a street somebody a dollar, that is a good deed. If you open a door, smile, give someone a hug, volunteer and give away food for somebody, you know, put your time effort, that's all giving. giving, you need to do that as an entrepreneur. You've got to do that part,

but save your money for when you're comfortable to start utilizing it in the way that you think has the best impact that you want. So what I'm hearing you say here is that if you're not ready to give the money away because you don't feel that you're making the consistent money or you don't have the profits, you still have time, or you can create a plan like Warren Buffett,

where I may not be giving it away now, but I'm giving away my time and maybe abilities, right? But then he's creating a plan where he can give 10x, 100 X, a thousand X in the future. And a lot of companies, I wrote a book called Compassionate Capitalism. A lot of companies just empower themselves with, you know, I know Liquid IV, right? They give away tons of their product for charity. Tom's is another example. There's tons of companies that actually build that altruistic methodology and philanthropy

into their business model. Right? So they're actually giving money with their success along the way. Sure. The more I sell, the more they'll get. Sure. I think that's awesome. So I think challenge yourself to be a compassionate capitalism, but realize you can't give what you don't have. The one thing that I've learned, even with my mom, with her abundant attitude, I don't think you're helping anyone if you diminish your capacity

by giving. I think you need to maximize your capacity. You know, it's the whole put the air on the kid second. You don't save anyone if you die. Right. And I did that. I know you're in fitness and have a great business. Two years ago, I started realizing, wait a second here I made a huge mistake I put my family first my business second and my health third I was diminishing my capacity health wise right and I was going you don't realize it in your 40s you know that by time you're 60 you get sitting man syndrome my posture was bad who knows what would happen to my heart you know I was getting away with things yeah yeah but now you know my energy level I'm taking care of my family and business by taking care of myself so I'm curious about

that you know every time we're interviewing CEOs and and thought leaders and entrepreneurs that have created multi hundreds of millions of dollar companies named Tom Bill you and our mutual friend Ed Milet and Jesse Itzler I'll always ask him this question and the answer doesn't very much and I'm curious what your answer is what is happiness to you like if you could attach a recipe a definition to happiness what is happiness to David I'm sure Tom and Ed or all my friends tell you about the journey right and for me it's a very simple It's the enjoyment of the consistent, every day, persistent without quit, pursuit of my potential.

Whatever that may be, potential as a father, as a husband, as a community leader, as a business person, my potential, living to my highest self, but enjoying the journey. And that doesn't mean I don't have goals. It means my emotions aren't attached to the ends. It's attached to the means, the journey. Sure. And I hope that's consistent with the journey. You know, that's very consistent because, as Ed Milette will oftentimes say, he says, you know,

I want you to be blissfully dissatisfied in life, meaning live in bliss, but be dissatisfied with where you are and enjoy the journey of getting to your potential. One of the things he said on my podcast when everybody wrote in, and this is exactly what you're saying is, and it's just in two different ways, he said, the last thing I want to know is that I went to heaven and they said, hey, Ed, here's what you were supposed to become, who you were supposed to become, but you didn't quite hate your potential. right and that's what I really hear you saying is the consistent pursuit of your potential yeah and I'm curious did you come up with this like at what point in life did you realize that's all this happiness is this consistent pursuit of my potential it came through that quantum shift in life about value being of service yeah because I had always attached my happiness to the ends I was so going on it I'll be happy if I make the football team if I play in college if I get a scholarship if I go to law school if I graduate if I get married if I make a million dollars It kept going and I'd get there and I wasn't happy.

Right? And I started looking back and listening some of the great basketball and football and baseball coaches about, you know, what it's all about like Bobby Knight used to say, right? Coach Knight, he would always say, no, it's about getting here. That was the good part. Yeah. If we win, we win. Sure.

And I really believe what would change in my life is this get to attitude instead of got to. And I still work on this, right? One thing I know is I'm a huge hypocrite because I'm not there. yet. I teach these things. I motivate millions of people, right? But I know that I'm still working on it. And I have moments where I'm not at center. You know, I always tell people, try having a 17-year-old daughter walking outside when you wake up before the morning, and her car is not there. Let's see how close to center you can stay, right, and overreact. But meanwhile, it's how can I look at everything, oh, man, I get to do this. I get to go pick up my kids. I get to make dinner. I get to go on the show

with you. And I look for the blessings and everything and the blessings and everything. And one and it changes my life. Perspective is so powerful, so powerful. And I can't even, you know, explain to people. I wish I could just get a switch where when bad things happen, what supposedly these bad things, right, happen, that they're actually good things. It's just a simple judgment of the past. Our judgment of the past is what projects our future. What frustrates me most about most people is they put faith in the past and then they wonder why they keep coming up with the same Same thing. Because you put faith in, if you look at what you don't want, you're going to get what you don't want.

Sure, exactly. You know, it's, oh, this is nuts that you're sharing all this information here. And it's so consistent with the journey. Now, someone watching this is going to say, yeah, but it's easy for you to try and stay centered. What do I do when I'm off-centered? Like, you must have a process, like the example you gave. Imagine waking up at 4 in the morning. Yeah.

and your 17-year-old daughter's car's not there. You're off-center at that point. Maybe you're angry. Your steam. Negative thoughts are running through your head. How do you get back to center? Do you have a process, a ritual, a thing? Absolutely.

So number one, that's why meditation is important to me every morning for 20 minutes because I find my center. So at least I know where it's at. Now, my goal of every day is when I go off center, how quickly can I get back to center, not how do I react to what's happening that put me off to center? So in that example, when I woke up, my emotions went out of control. And for the first time, I didn't pick up my phone immediately to call her and scream.

What I said to myself is, why am I feeling this way? I went back to the center and I said, because I'm scared. Okay, if you're scared, it's because you love her a lot. Let's not make this worth. Let's pray for her happiness and safety. You're afraid that something's a matter. You're not bad that she's out at four. Right.

Let's be honest. I've been out at four. What was the matter was I was terrified. Yeah. Right? A 17-year-old girl, I'm terrified. It's supposed to be home. So I called after I got back to center in a majesty of call.

How long did it take you? I'm curious. From the time you see her car is missing to the time that you go through this process. In that process, time moves differently. I would assume it was at five minutes. Okay. So I breathe, I would consciously breathing through my nose. Out through my mouth, asking myself, okay, what, you know, what's going on?

What can I do? What do I have, right? All these questions. And I got to a place where I was like, okay, I can call her. I called. She answered. I'm like, where are you? I'm in my room.

Where's your car? Oh, I left the kids were drinking. I didn't want to drive. I'm sorry. I'm like, okay, sorry for waking you. And I hung up and cried, right? Because this fear was gone. I still am emotional about it because I remember thinking, God, I could have screwed up my relationship with my daughter like most parents do.

Sure. Cus at her. Right, all because I was afraid because I loved her so much. So in the end, my relationship's damaged, and she's not going to know how much I loved her. And in the morning, she apologized to me, right, for not having the car there. And I'm thinking that would have been impossible, but how blessed am I? And I don't always react that way. But I do catch myself.

It's like a car. Here's what people do wrong in life. The car is on top of the hill in San Francisco, and when it starts moving, all it takes is a finger to push it back up. But you let that car come downhill, you wonder why you're run over at the end of the day. And so many people, not only do they let the car run downhill, but they're loading stuff onto the car from the past. And it's going faster and faster. And they wonder why they can't get back up the hill. That's such a powerful word picture you just drew, David.

So let me just share this with our audience because we do have a young audience that, admittedly, they've reached out to me and said, hey, look, I overreacted. One of the posts that I put up on social media was, don't make a permanent decision on temporary feelings. And when I put that post up, I can't tell you the hundreds, thousands of responses I got privately that, oh my gosh, I was about to do X because of how I felt in the moment, right? And that would have been a permanent decision. And so really the decision of daughter's car is not there. I'm going to call and freak out and what the hell and how dare you and don't you know better. But instead you said, what am I feeling?

You just took five minutes. And this is why I asked you how long did it take you. Guys, it doesn't take more than a few minutes to go, what is happening? What am I feeling? I feel fear. Yeah, okay, I'm angry at her. I'm angry because I'm scared I'm scared because I love her. I love her because she's my baby and I want to know she's okay. So let me just pick up the phone and make sure she's okay first and now with that intention instead of anger and rage And she goes, hey dad, I'm actually in my room and I think I did the right thing because kids were drunk and I didn't want to drive That's a powerful lesson man. Yeah and powerful lesson and I I tell people all the time even in my business. Let's see how fast we can get back to center. We're all going to make mistakes. I love

starting a speech, right, about forgiveness because it's so powerful. But I always say, who here's made a mistake? Everyone raises their hand. Even if it's a morning speech, I'll say, who here's made a mistake this morning? Almost everyone still raised their hand, right? Then I say, why do we get so mad, frustrated, waste so much energy when other people make mistakes? Powerful. And it's so true, right? That's why forgiveness is the best thing to give away. Tell me what you think about forgiveness. Should we just organically forgive everybody who's wronged us? No, we have to forgive only ourselves.

Because remember, nothing really is true until it's what we feel. We're just reacting. For example, when I was young, I was very insecure about my nose, right, being big. And somebody would say, oh, and it would hurt me. But there's still just an illusion. Now, today if someone says you have a big nose, I say, no, I have a small face. and I actually like the way that I look, right? So it's all within me.

And so I just have to forgive myself, right? I have to forgive myself. And then I can forgive others. And I, you know, there's so many tremendous stories about forgiveness, some that I can't even understand. You know, people who have parents murdered and they're able to forgive the murderer. And, you know, but I think forgiveness is so powerful.

The problem that young people have with forgiveness is they confuse it with sympathy. Empathy and sympathy are different. Forgiveness isn't sympathy. I can't be, you know, sad enough to make you happy, poor enough to make you rich, sick enough to make you well. And we think that somehow we have control. Sympathy somehow gives you control of someone else.

No, what you need to focus is forgiveness because forgiveness gives us, like, accountability. What did I do to attract it to myself? What am I supposed to learn from it? Now I can forgive myself with gratitude. I'm thankful that that happened. And I'm going to add value and help other people with it as well. It's a very controlled environment that we live in when we know that this is. the secret right here. What I think, say, do believe in my unconscious competencies, which are both

DNA and energetic. When I get that whole realm and I know some younger people are saying, they go, whoa, way too woo for me, but there is a place on earth that we can live in complete joy and go back to it as we live. Got you. Let me ask you a completely different question here. Somebody who's dead, who would you like to meet, someone who's dead? Is there anyone that you like to meet who's already currently dead? And what would you ask that person? Yeah, Einstein. What would you ask him?

You know, I would like to ask him probably a different question than most people. I'd like to ask him about the time of his life when he was ostracized, when he had already figured out E equals MC squared, and nobody else understood it. So he was before his time. And I'd like to understand how he processed being ostracized, divorced, shamed when he knew the truth, and nobody else believed him. and be able to hear how he did that. Because he was at a higher level, a higher vibration,

but yet the lower vibration. A lot of times it's just a frequency issue. There's a lot of people that vibrate we don't understand, but yet there's truths that we can find. I'd like to know how that felt and what he did to take those 10 years till people are like, even today I love the energy of Einstein because 90-some percent of the people in the world,

if you say, who is the icon for genius? they'll talk about the guy that went bankrupt, the guy that everyone ostracized, they kicked out of the physics community and the college, his wife called him a weirdo and divorced him, and he went bankrupt, all these things. Who would get lost looking for his home,

walking to his house? People thought he was crazy and a loser. But yet, the number one person by far, and nobody can disagree with this, when you say, who do you think of genius, the majority of the world, not the United States, of the world, would say Einstein.

Yeah, that's why. Hindsight. Yeah. So, listen, if people want to find you, connect with you, learn more from you, where do they go? Two easy places. One, follow me at David Meltzer, great Instagram, but also just Google David Meltzer, and you'll find all the other social media, the websites, the companies, everything like you that I do. I'm a strong SEO, so it's David Meltzer, like Selter with an M.

Like Selzer with an M. And tell us more about your book before we sign off here. Two books. My first one's connected to goodness. Unlike most people, I will send you my book if you want it. Just DM me. I'll pay for shipping. No manipulation, no back-end selling.

Connected to goodness is those outline to my life that I wrote those years back and then turned it into a best-selling book. Compassionate Capitalism, Second book, and then I just released with Jack Canfield from Chicken Soup for the Soul, a book called Unstoppable. So those are the three books right now, and my next one's on business strategies. I do have a book in the can that's written, but I want to wait so I have a really big. audience it's called don't do business with dicks and I think that'll be my mega seller can I can I ask you just the premise obviously that pretty obvious what it is but what's the philosophy your philosophy behind that yeah and the reason I share that is one of the profound messages I continually share on the Empire podcast is 99% of the

time partnerships you shouldn't be entering a partnership and I sound hypocritical because I have a partner in the Empire Mastermind and Empire podcast show Craig Ballantin yeah right and so I'm curious don't do business with Dix what's the premise behind Yeah, well, the premises behind Lee Steinberg told me, don't negotiate to the last penny, always be fair and don't do business with Dix. If you're not aligned, value-wise, with someone. Now, my dad told me three rules of a partnership. Don't get into a partnership, number one.

Two, if you're going to get into a partnership, make sure your partner has more money than you. Or three, if you don't listen to one or two, go back to number one. So surround yourself with the right people, the right ideas. If you're young, my favorite, my kids hate this, but show me your friends. and I'll show you your future. So it's another way of saying don't do business with Dix. But it's a good philosophy.

Well, David Meltzler, really appreciate you coming on the show, first and foremost. Number two, guys and gals, go ahead and send him a DM and he'll be more than willing to send out a free copy of your book. And pay for shipping. Yeah, and pay for shipping. Thank you for that. And finally, connect with David on social media. Are you on Facebook and YouTube or just Instagram?

Facebook, YouTube, everywhere, so you can just literally Google David Meltzer and you'll find all the links. Wonderful. Thank you so much for being on the show. man, appreciate you. My pleasure. Thank you so much. Hey, thanks so much for being here for today's Empire Podcast show. We would love for you to do a quick little favor for us. Just go to iTunes and give us a five-star rating, leave a comment, share it with your friends. And if you're

interested in growing your business faster, go to bedroskoolian.com forward slash Empire, fill out the application to see if you're a good fit for our Empire Mastermind Group.