Bedros Keuilian Podcast Show - Get Over Your Past Bullshit - 054

Episode Date: July 4, 2018

When Bedros Keuilian learned how to break free of his personal scars, his businesses grew faster than he could imagine. In this episode, Bedros and Craig Ballantyne discuss how to work past your darkest moments and come out a bolder, more successful entrepreneur. Watch or listen now to also discover how to set high standards for yourself and the people you work with.   “Channel the darkness inside you to build a business and make a bigger impact.” - Bedros Keuilian   Here’s what you’ll discover: 0:57 - How your darkest moments can fuel your personal and professional growth. 7:05 - Why being unreasonable will raise your standards as an entrepreneur. 8:31 - Why it’s important to surround yourself with other like-minded entrepreneurs. 10:26 - How your successful clients push you to offer higher levels of service. 15:43 - How to identify (and overcome) anything that holds back your business.   “Master both peace and rage and create your empire.” - Craig Ballantyne

It's okay to be unreasonable. It's okay to be unrealistic. It's okay to have high standards of expectations for yourself. Those are the three things that I've done recently that have just dramatically, dramatically impacted my business. Hey friends, welcome back to the Empire podcast. We are going to take a deeper and maybe even a darker look into the success of Baderos-Cooleon. My name is Craig Balencien, and I'm here with Baderus-Culian. Hello, hello. All right, all right. So let's talk about the inside look at the empire building, how to bea-building. habits, secrets, this path of Baderos-Coolian. And we're going to start with something that you've talked a little bit about in your Instagram post.

You've talked about this with Andy Fricela, is why it's important to channel the dark side. Yeah. You know, I realized probably in the last five years, so I'm 43 now, in my late 30s to now, I realize that no one goes through this life unscathed. Like we all have some kind of trauma, some kind of damage, whether it's, you know, rape, molestation, physical abuse, emotional. abuse. Sure.

Whatever it is, the abuse leaves some kind of scar. Now, it's important to deal with the scar. Go get therapy, go work through it. But it's probably going to also take you down to some dark places. In the book Relentless, Tim Grover talks about taking that rage. And I think he was talking about Dwayne Wade. He said, if Dwayne Wade can take his rage and channel it for 48 minutes on the basketball

court, he will lead his team to victory. There's so much truth to that, whether it's darkness or rage. I think as entrepreneurs, yeah, we all have great intentions. I want to help the world. I want to help Shriners Children's Hospitals. I want to help Toys for Tots. And we have 97 kids now adopted through Compassion International. That's all great.

Yeah. But you know what? I've got this chip on my shoulder. I've got this fire in my belly, this rage in my eyes because of all the shit that's happened to me, the abuse, the being told, go back to your own fucking country when we came to the United States. And, you know, I've talked about this before. So when I say the abuse between ages of four and six, I was molested by two old

older boys, and that's scarring, man. That fucks with your mindset, with your self-worth. And when you come to a country and you don't understand the language and the culture, and you're told to go back to your own fucking country over and over again, you start developing this darkness or this rage that ends up either eating away at you or you use it to channel it and build a business, make a bigger impact. For me, I took it to use it for good. good. I can channel it to build

a business and make a bigger impact, make more money when my freedom in life, right? Yeah. I don't want to be like everybody else. I don't want to fly coach. I don't want to drive regular cars. I don't want to live in a regular home. I don't ever want to... Not have your own gym. I want to have my own gym. I got my own gym. And those

are the things that you could do, but I think it's important for everyone watching and listening to this to go, don't avoid your darkness or try and suppress it. Get a hold of it. Realize you understand it. And I say, what can I do to use this as a source of motivation to drive me forward? Yeah, absolutely.

And so I think one of the game-changing things, because I've known you for 10 years now, is when you start working with Dr. Kevin. Yeah. So take us down the path of how that allowed you, it probably allowed you to understand it and channel that into success. And you know what? As an entrepreneur, what do we do? We go around reading books on sales and marketing and personal development and self-growth,

all that stuff, right? We go to conferences, events that talk about giving and contribution and meaning and significance. So we tend to think that we know all that, that we're fixed, we're cured. Yeah. But we're not because what we don't know is what we don't know. Sure. And I didn't know the scars that I was carrying and the repercussions they were having on me from the times that I was abused in life, right?

Now, I thought I did. I was like, hey, Kevin. Now, the reason someone might be asking, well, wait, why'd you go to a therapist? And I went to a therapist to deal with my anxiety attacks. I was having anxiety attacks because my business was growing and I was a horrible leader at the time. Sure. And I felt like I was starting to lose control of my business. Within four weeks, he taught me, one, anxiety is anticipation of future pain. So rather than anticipating conversations, deal with them immediately.

That way, you don't have the anxiety. And number two, halt. And I think I've shared this before, but it's worth sharing again. Hungry, angry, lonely, tired. When you're hungry, angry, lonely, tired, you're more likely to have your anxiety attack. And so great, he taught me those two things in four weeks. But before he let me go, he goes, hey, Pedro, Stephanie, there are there issues in your life that you want to talk about, that you want to maybe explore, you want to refine?

I said, no. He goes, are you sure? I said, yeah, but then I threw my bone. I said, well, you know, there was some abuse that I went through as a kid, but I've dealt with that. And I said, that kid's fine. And he goes, what do you mean that kid's fine? He goes, that's the first sign of creating multiple personalities is when you disassociate

and say, that kid instead of I'm fine. Got it, right? So that led to me working with Kevin and doing the deep dive into the areas of trauma that I've gone through, into just understanding myself, my relationship. Why I communicate the way I do why I was so easy to shut people out. I mean you've known me for a decade It's easy for me to build a wall and then I'm done with that person right? Well now I get to see where that comes from and I think more of us need to do that self-growth Ironically in the book that you sent me Last week in the book that you sent me last week he gives a quote and he says and I guess the quote is

You live life after the age of 40 or life life happens after the age of 40 and then he goes on to explain it the first 20 years we have no control of our life Yeah. Right? You're a child, mom and dad, school systems, bullies. All these people influence you and impact you and fuck with your self-esteem and your self-worth and your emotions and all that shit, right? You spend the next 20 years from 20 to 40 trying to fix all that. And it's so true on 43 now and it's been the last three years have just been amazing.

And as a byproduct, you've been in my life long enough. You've seen my business just hockey stick right up. So truly the first 20 years we have no control over, the next 20 years we try and fix the fucking problems. And maybe in the early 20s, we're trying to fix it through alcohol and drugs and getting laid and whatever, right? But in the latter part of the 30s, it's like, you know what, maybe I need to see an expert because the booze, drugs, and hookers didn't work or whatever. And so, not to say, I would ever do hookers? No, not this guy either. What book was it that I sent you? Because I've sent you multiple books and do you remember

and everyone's going, what book was it? Oh, the book was the who, the who, the who, the who who, the who, the who, the power of who? The power of who. Great book. Highly recommend it. It's about getting referrals. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And so ironically, I don't know how that tied into it because I'm still reading the book. Right.

But it's so true, man, life starts at 40. And so anyway, all this to say that working with Kevin, a therapist. And I know there's a stigma about working with a therapist. I'm not, does I mean I'm broke? Does that mean I'm psychotic? Hey, guess what? You're all fucked up. We're all fucked up.

Right. Go work with the therapist and get better and watch how life improves. Awesome. So what else have you done to evolve or how have you evolved as a leader and an empire builder over those last three magical years. Great question. I've become more unreasonable. Yeah. And more unrealistic. Okay. The reason for that is we tend to want to be reasonable and realistic as to not offend people and to fit in, right? But I realize I can be unreasonable in my demands so long as I can meet those. Yeah. I can expect that of others. Yeah. Most of the time, if you're a leader and you're trying to

get your team to do something that you're not willing to do, that's unreasonable. That's unrealistic. Yeah. Because they're going to see that you're being a hypocrite. So I've chosen, see, I've always had these unreasonable expectations and unrealistic desires of people around me, but I've always thought, man, I better play it safe. I don't want to stand out. I don't want to be that nail that stands out because that nail gets hammered. Well, now these days, I'm willing to voice my opinion and go, hey, these are the unreasonable and unrealistic expectations I have of our business, of our team members, but I also have that of myself. So let me lead from the front. Yeah. And ever since I've been doing that over the last four, five, six years now, major shift.

It's okay to be unreasonable. It's okay to be unrealistic. It's okay to have high standards of expectations for yourself. Those are the three things that I've done recently that have just dramatically, dramatically impacted my business. Now, what were some of the pivotal moments over those last three or five years? Obviously working with Dr. Kevin. But what else? Were there meetings?

Was there an event that you went to? maybe like that when you rejoined 25K that were pivotal moments that maybe where you saw somebody taking into the next level or maybe when you saw how poorly most other franchises were run that that got you like oh my goodness we have an opportunity and we're going to drive hard. You know there's two big things that come to mind but there's a whole bunch of little things. The two big things truly are reconnecting with people who were really good drivers in my life. And when I say good drivers is look as a CEO as a CEO we're pretty much islands. Like, as an entrepreneur, you're an island, right?

All your friends are hourly workers, and that's okay. But you're going to go tell someone who's got a consistent hourly pay that, hey, guess what? I just made $85,000 this afternoon because I launched something and it was successful. They're also not going to understand how you feel like a piece of shit when you had to fire someone and then how you're being audited because that doesn't happen to them either. Right. So when we're an island, what do we do? We tend to suffer in silence as entrepreneurs.

Yeah. And so reconnecting with Joe Polisher's Genius Network Group that you and I, in many of our friends Randy Garnes in there Cameron Harold etc all of a sudden You're talking to like-minded individuals who have gotten through like-minded problems and who have like-minded goals So that's been a big factor another factor is and this is not to to your horn But through environmental exposure to you right to you like I always tell people before ever I pointed a book behind me before ever writing that book like I felt like I was the first kidney pig going through the perfect of the perfect a formula of the perfect day formula simply because environmental exposure to you showed me personal discipline, a morning routine,

eating dinner early so that I don't have to be bloated at night. The discipline of not having to eat every piece of bread in the bread basket that I could eat one piece of bread, right? Those things matter to me. So, you know, pick and choose your people that you hang out with because you are a byproduct of who you hang out with. Yeah, I was just going to say, what changed when you started surrounding yourself with others?

And even what's changed as your clients have become more successful? Because you now have some clients in the Empire Master's. my group and in seven figure in your fit body world. I mean, there have become some real domination machines. How does that force you to grow? Well, it always forces you as a leader to kind of stay ahead, right? Because you see real quickly that, man, if they're looking up to me for information, I better be the one recreating the next wheel. I better create something else so that they can copy it or model it, right? And so I constantly feel the pressure of my own clients, you know, forcing me to raise the bar, which is a great thing. And to that point, by the way, another

factor, another thing, going back to your last question was, you know, you and I dissolved the info mastermind that we had. Because, and I openly share this with people, like, we created the Empire Mastermind because that's where we are in our own careers. And so there's nothing wrong with putting something on a shelf once you're done doing it if you don't feel is an authentic representation of you. Right. So we're building empires. We started the Empire Mastermind because we want to help people achieve a higher level of success in their business. If the info mastermind that you and I had while it was generating great money, I even remember telling you, if I had to create, teach someone one more time how to turn a word doc into a PDF, I might have choked them out.

I might have choked them out. And so I was willing to forego that money in exchange to live an authentic life and to run a business like the Empire Mastermind instead of the Info Mastermind. So be willing to part ways with a business. Like doing that has been a great source of relief for me. Yeah, yeah. Don't channel your rage into choking people out. Right. Channel somewhere. We don't like that. So what's also changed in how you let your guard down? Because I think that's been a huge shift as well in the last couple years. Even when you spoke, like you spoke at the, for everybody listening, Baderos spoke at the 25K meeting last year and probably the most pivotal one or two,

three minutes in that entire weekend. Wasn't when Tony Robbins was on stage. It wasn't when Peter Diamondis was on stage, but was when you were on stage and you shared your story of your struggles, of your abuse when you were kids. You got so many, you had everybody's eyes were riveted on you. You had so many follow-up messages. but obviously you weren't doing that years ago before Dr. Kevin, even after Dr. Kevin.

I mean, that's obviously something takes a while to come out. So what was it that allowed you to do that there, but also in many places? That's a good question. So part of that is a self-growth. And the other part of that is working with an expert like Kevin, a therapist, a psychologist, who I realize now in hindsight, even though I would go see him every Monday afternoon at 6 p.m. So I'd leave HQ around 4, 35 o'clock, and I'd get this on, and I'd take a little break at a Starbucks, and I'd go to his office by six, six to seven therapy session.

I always expected when I walked out there, I got clarity on the questions that I had. Like I would walk in there with a set of questions. Yeah. Right? And I always expected I'd walk out with clarity. And to be very frank with you, sometimes, dude, I'd walk out of there with like,

what the fuck? I just paid him $140, wasted an hour of my time talking about shit, but I don't feel any more resolution at all. Yeah. What I realized what a good therapist does is they're like tilling the soil, digging the hole, planting the seed. And then it's only months later,

even years later now, that you get to see the fruit of that tree, right? And so, yeah, while working with him, and even after a year or two, after working with him, I wasn't going out there and telling people, hey, guys, guess what happened to me as a kid? I was still afraid to share what happened to me as a kid. Sure. I had a greater sense of peace about me, and I had a greater control of my rage and darkness, but I wasn't so vulnerable and I didn't feel like I could be so authentic in saying, hey, world, this is what's happened to me because I feel like the world would still judge me. Got it.

But all of a sudden, a Genius Network event. That was one of the events. And then also Ed Milet's show when Ed Milet was interviewing me. Sean Stevenson. It just felt so organic. Did you do it on Lewis's show as well? No. No, I didn't talk about it on Lewis's show.

I hinted to the fact that I was abused on Lewis's show. And I'm looking for a good piece. He said, you know, what do you want? Every day I said, I just want to sleep while. I'm a peace of mind. Because it was affecting my sleep. It's that bad. So anyway, all this to say that a great therapist kind of plants the seed, and it's only years

later that you see the outcome. But I've become so much more authentic and vulnerable, and I don't care how I'm judged. And I realize I'm not judged. I'm actually supported by the people that I share that with. Yeah. And I'm helping so many, because statistically speaking, one out of every four people has had some kind of abuse in their life, sexual, physical, emotional. And that's created a level of trauma that is now.

guiding their business decisions, their relationship decisions, their health. Health decisions. Holy hell. So if it's one out of four, and in that audience, we had an audience of 350 millionaires and billionaires. Well, we had at least a few dozen people who were struggling and suffering in silence, right? And so these are the guys and gals who reached out to me afterwards, and I was blown away. Like, people that I look up to were like, hey, what's my next step?

I was suffering too. And so I think it was the greatest gift that Kevin took the time to work with me, and that I went through that journey to evolve like this. Awesome. So now you have peace, you have rage, and you've combined them into this fast track. That's a yen and yang tag. Yeah, I mean, totally, totally. But to own that and master those two emotions, you have combined it into building an empire.

So leave us here with, tell us the how of what you've done with Fit Body Boot Camp that's allowed to grow exponentially and, you know, to inspire everybody listening who wants to grow their empire. Dude, it's the craziest thing. So when you're held back because you don't feel authentic. in your life, right? Because of something that's happened to you. Maybe you were bullied. Again, maybe you had physical, sexual, emotional abuse.

I was holding back my marketing in FitBody Boot Camp. I was holding back our sales, literally. Like, I wasn't selling as aggressively as I should to people who I know needed a Fit Body Boot Camp location. Otherwise, their life was going to suffer because they were going to open up a gym and try and figure it all out themselves. Going crazy dead and all that. What is Fit Body Boot Camp?

It's a cheat sheet of how to be successful with your fitness business, right? Yet I wasn't selling aggressively and I wasn't marketing aggressively because I didn't feel authentic, right? And so, and I didn't feel I had the permission to do that. So, you know, I speak to everyone watching and listening to this and I tell them, hey, look, there's something that's holding you back right now in growing your business bigger and making a bigger impact. Because it's funny, in 2015, we were the fastest growing top 15 franchises in the nation. In 2016, we were on the Inc. 5,000 list. 2017, Inc. 5,000 list, 2018. This year, we hit entrepreneurs 500 fastest growing franchises out of

175,000 franchises. Amazing. And it's not because I discovered some magical marketing strategy. It's because I gave myself permission to finally go all in on marketing and sales because I don't feel like I'm an imposter or a hypocrite in my industry. And so whatever challenge or trauma or setback you're dealing with, if you fix that, you're able to ramp up your business. as well. It's nuts. Absolutely amazing. Absolutely amazing. Inside look at a man who I've known for so many years and I still learned a lot of new stuff today. Thank you so much for sharing that, brother. Thank you. Thank you so much for joining us for another amazing episode of the Empire podcast. Now the greatest compliment that you can give to us is liking, loving, and sharing this episode with all of your friends.

So please go to iTunes and give us a five-star rating and then share it online and social media with everyone that you know and make sure to tag us because we love hearing from Empire listeners. And if you own a business that's doing half a million dollars or more in annual revenues, and you know it's got massive potential, and you like myself and Craig Ballantine to help you scale it by 5x, 10x, and 20x in the shortest amount of time possible, then you might be a great candidate for the Empire Mastermind Program that we have. To learn more about the Empire Mastermind Program, go to bedroskulian.com forward slash empire.