Bedros Keuilian Podcast Show - How to Attract Positive People - 038

Episode Date: March 14, 2018

In this episode, Bedros Keuilian and Craig Ballantyne show you how to attract positive people into your life so you can find mentorship and grow your business even faster. You’ll discover why you can never start this process too early and why you don’t need permission to approach the people you want to connect with. Watch or listen now so you can start attracting positive people today.   “The universe will bring into your life the people who belong there.” - Bedros Keuilian   Here’s what you’ll discover:   3:07 - Why knowing WHO you want in life is just as important as knowing WHAT you want in life. 6:31 - Why “cool people” won’t help you build an empire. 8:15 - How a 26-year-old entrepreneur got Bedros’s attention and established a relationship. 13:05 - Why you should open doors—literally. 15:42 - Why you need to be a “human billboard” in whatever industry you’re in.  

I wish when I was 26 years old that I had that forethought to be able to go, there's someone who I want to connect with. What value could I bring to him? At the age of 26, all I cared was what's in it for me. Hey, do you know what everyone needs more of in their life? The answer is positive people. And today on this episode of the Empire podcast, we're going to show you how to attract positive people into your life.

My name is Craig Valentine, and I am here with a positive person in my life. Pedro Scullian, welcome, my friend. Hey, buddy. How are you? Very, very good. So the million dollar question in our friendship is, who sent the first book to who first? This has truly become the chicken or the egg scenario because I don't remember if I sent you the book or if you sent me one. Yeah.

So just everybody listening, what happened was in about 2009, Bedros and I didn't know each other. We'd never met in person. And all of a sudden, we started sending books to each other in the mail as probably recommended by one of our positive mentors in our life. and it led to a really great friendship in this podcast and us being the positive people and everybody that's listening's lives. So that's what we're going to talk about today because a lot of people get hung up on this, don't they be? Yep, yep, that is true. They do get hung up. And quite honestly, we all need positive people in our life because the reality is that most people in life don't work on their personal development, self-development.

Because of that, most people are negative, pessimistic, and scarcity-minded. And if these are the type of people you're hanging around with, yet you're trying to build an empire a million, 2 million, 5 million, you're trying to 20 million. You're trying to make an impact on the world, leave a legacy while hanging around with dodo birds. Ain't going to happen. So you've got to find those positive people. So how do we attract them? Yeah, absolutely. It's a great question.

And the answer really is first starts with becoming a positive person yourself. You have to be the leader. Now, I remember this is a helpful story for everybody here because back, you know, you know, college, we were partying, we were having a good time, everybody wanted to go out and eat junky food and they wanted to drink beers. And I would do that from time to time, but then guys wanted to do it in the afternoons sometimes and I would say no, or they wanted to start really early on a Saturday and I'd say, no, you know, I'll just wait till later on. And, you know, they would peer pressure me and give me a hard time. But over the years, they started moving more and more towards

me because they realized you can't do that stuff. And I like to say that I was leading by example, living and leading by example. I was being the leader to them. I was showing other people who probably felt the same way that I did but weren't strong enough to make that decision. And that's where we have to start, isn't it? Yeah.

Yeah, well, you know, when you're the leader and you're organically living the lifestyle that they want, they're going to gravitate towards you. And at the end of the day, if you're not... Man, being true to yourself, right? If you're not being true to yourself, then what are you doing?

Which really goes back to that next point is knowing what you want. and who you want in your life. Right, exactly. So most people have never sat down and thought, you know what, I need this type of person in their life. They just think, oh, you know, there's got to be some other people out there. I'm always, you know, I just don't feel like, you know, I'm hanging around the people

that are lifting me up to the next level. And it's a strong feeling in a lot of people, but they've never actually decided to step back and do basically empire thinking for their social circle and their network. But you take a look at some of the most successful people we know, like Joe Polish, like Marion, they're really, really well connected because they know who they want to hang around with. They know the values of the people. And so, you know, there's a really great exercise by Dan Sullivan where he said, you know what, if you want to become better in certain areas, just make a list of all the things that people who you know, who are successful, all the characteristics that they have,

and then go out and build them in yourself so that now you are a positive person. And you're going to start attracting other good people. So it really starts with figuring out what you want in your life, who you want to be with in your life, and how you want to be in your life as well. Exactly, which kind of leads us to them being grateful, showing gratitude. Oftentimes we don't show enough gratitude about the few positive people that we might have in our life. And we might even take them for granted. I know I personally have taken some of the, you know, Jim Franco, I always talk about Jim Franco, one of my first mentors, my very first mentor. And at that time, man I was hanging around with meatheads who were just always in trouble and causing havoc and financially broke and owed money to people

I was more like those guys than like Jim Franco yet I would scoff at the ideas that Jim Franco would come out when he's like hey you know what listen to the sales tape Why do I have to listen to a sales tape? I would have a good enough sales closing percentage Why don't I have to listen to this marketing tape the man was trying to advise me but over time he was persistent and very quickly I realized how grateful I was to have someone like him now I I wish someone would have, I wish there was a podcast back then in the early 90s where I could listen to and someone would tell me, hey, you know what, you should be grateful for the positive mentors that you have in your life just because you're not paying them. Doesn't mean they're not mentoring you, guiding you, taking you towards a better place. Because I should have been more aware.

I should have shown more gratitude. And I wonder if I would have been more receptive to his ideas and probably hit my millions a lot sooner. Yeah, absolutely. It's a great point. And I remember for my mentor, Mark Ford, who owned early to rise before I bought it from him, he would write. a lot of articles that I would resist. And I remember the one that I resisted for so many years was going to bed at the same time every night and getting up at the same time every day.

But when I finally took my mentor's advice, it changed my life. And so you might not have real-world mentors. They might be virtual mentors, as I call them, through books, through videos, through podcasts like this. And you might feel like you want to resist their information at first. And so I know there's probably a lot of young men out there who want to make a lot of money, but they don't want to give up the party lifestyle. They don't want to make the sacrifices yet.

And they might resist what we say on some of these shows. But in a few years from now, they'll say, you know what, these were the positive guys that I needed in my life. I'm glad that I stuck with it. I'm glad that I listened and I'm glad that I leveled up. Because really, the old Jim Rohn quote, that you're the average of the five people you spend the most time with. That's absolutely true, right?

Oh, 100% true. And listen, I've never heard anyone tell me that, you know, I started thinking big and hanging on with positive people, way too early in my life. I've never heard anyone say that. Instead, it's always the opposite, and it's the same for me. I wasn't thinking big enough, soon enough, and I wasn't hanging around with the positive people that I needed in my life when I had them available to me, because I thought the cooler friends were the ones staying up late, drinking, smoking weed, causing trouble, and that's what I was doing. And I got to tell you, it was an uphill struggle. I still had this

mind. I wanted to be an entrepreneur. I wanted to make an impact, but it was almost like I wanted champagne but I stuck to having a beer budget. Right. You might want to start creating a champagne budget if you want champagne. Yeah, absolutely. It's a true point. And you know, it's just, listen, you have to expand your social circle. You have to go out there to events. And I know that as an introverted person, it's difficult to go to events and meet people. But listen, everybody listening, if you're not the type of person who goes to events, you should stretch your comfort zone. You really should. So if you're in the fitness industry, you absolutely need to be at fitness.

business summit. And even if you're the wallflower type of person, go with an agenda, go with you like, I got to go and at least say hi to Craig Valentine. I need to at least, you know, take a thank you card to Bezos or take a gift for some other speaker. And that way you just start the connections, you get introductions because what I found over the years, Beidros, is that when you share your goals with positive people, other positive people go out of your way to help you and lift you up. And that's what I call a rising tide lifts all boats. So tell us about maybe some experiences where you have where you have, someone who didn't owe you anything has just gone out of their way to help you because they're a positive person and why we need more of those in our lives.

You know what's funny is that's I've got a great story for that and I'm going to meet with him in two days. His name is Amar. He's a 26 year old young man who started an online supplement company and grew it within a matter of a year and a half to a $10 million a year company. Right. So within the first million, within the first year and a half, it was like an uphill battle, and then it was a $10 million of your company, and then went to $15, 20, et cetera. Here's the interesting thing about Amar. He reached out to me via Instagram.

And by the way, the way he built this entire company was on the backs of influencers through Instagram. And he said, hey, look, I see that you're writing that book man up, and I see that you want to build a bigger following. You're probably going to do some kind of a book launch from the book comes out. I said, yeah. He goes, you know, I've got about a half a million followers, and I built, I'm a young man, but I built a supplement company. Is there anything I can do to help you build your followers? I said, I'm sure there is. Like, what do you want?

He goes, there's nothing in it for me. I just want to build a relationship. And it was so neat and so refreshing. You know, I've experienced this a lot in my life before, but the most recent story is that that this young man reaches out and says, hey, look, this is my superpower. I know how to build social media following, specifically Instagram following that's responsive, that will post it, will get shares and likes and followers, et cetera. And is there any way I could do this for you? And I said, you know, I would much rather you do it for my company, Fit Body Boot Camp right now. Let me just see.

I was so skeptical. Yeah. And he did it for Fit Body Boot Camp. Our followers are growing. And now he's coming here in two days to meet with me to see how we can grow my personal following. But I said, Amar, what's in it for you? He goes, I just want to build a relationship with you. connected with someone who I know is a mover and a shaker in the entrepreneurial space.

Like there's a 26. I wish when I was 26 years old that I had that forethought to be able to go, there's someone who I want to connect with. What value could I bring to him? At the age of 26, all I cared was what's in it for me. This young man is flying out from New Jersey to meet with me because he's thinking of the long-term value of a relationship. And so I was suspect.

Well, hey, what's in it for you? what do you want for me what's the pitch go ahead and give it to me i'm ready nothing i just want to build a relationship that's amazing it's amazing yeah you know the power of connecting others when you can go and help somebody who is a high value person it will lift you up give you so much great opportunity in your life so you know let's rewind a little bit and go back and think you know why am i not attracting positive people into my life right now so if someone's sitting there and thinking that so i want you to go on a bit of a rant about not being who who you should be in order to attract those people.

Yeah. Well, I can't help but go on these rants and you know that well about me and most of the time that happen in the car when the guys aren't here to film us and record us. But I gotta tell you this right here now, that most people always say I want positive people around me. I want a positive money mindset. I'm all about abundance. I never think about scarcity.

I'm all about gratitude. Yet they don't practice any of that shit. They just say it. Yeah. But they don't be it. And if you don't be it, listen, the universe. will bring into your life the people who belong there. And if you are surrounded by a-holes and negative people, people who are greedy, scarcity-minded,

needy, attention-seeking, oddly enough, it's probably because you're all of that. Let me be the first. Let Craig and I hold a mirror to your face and say, we are the first to show you that you haven't evolved into the person you think you are. You might think you're that person. Your self-image might say that you're that person, but your self-esteem is not that person. And so my challenge to you is become the person you're meant to be before demanding that you have like-minded, socially aware, financially abundant people around you. And that's just the reality of it.

Listen, you and I were, you know, come from the cloth of being poor and broke, right? Like, you know, you've talked about how you've had, you know, clothes that were tattered up and torn up and stitched up and reused again. Well, I come from that same place. So it's easy to be scarcity-minded. It's easy to be cheap and broke-minded. But if we want to attract people who are wealthy, who are abundant-minded, who are successful, we had to change our patterns of thinking. We change that.

And ironically, the right people float into our life, help us elevate to a better spot. And so my challenge to everyone else is do the work first before demanding who you want in your circles. And if you're not willing to do the work, then you're just going to have to, you're not going to soar with the eagles. You're going to kind of fly with the crows. and maybe that's okay for some people. Yeah, so the solutions really are working on yourself first. You know, be the person that you need to be in order to attract the people that you want to be around, right?

Yeah, yeah, exactly. Come with a giving hand. Yes. Love yourself, love others, show gratitude, open doors. I mean, how many people watching this or listening to this right now do you actually open the door for your boyfriend or your girlfriend or your wife or your daughter or your mom, right? Like, I'm teaching my son right now to be a modern day night and open the door because that's being respectful. So, you know, there's a great book out right now by a Navy SEAL commander and he talks about making your bed. When you wake up in the morning, make your bed.

Because if the rest of the day went to hell, when you come home tonight and go to bed and your bed's made. And that's just a really good feeling. You always start that day with a victory. Yeah, start that day with a victory. Really, his whole point is start the day with the victory. And so really, where we're concerned, what if you can actually love yourself, what if you can respect yourself, what if you can show respect towards others, show gratitude? you towards the other come with a giving hand and you make that a pattern in your life so that others who are like that will be attracted to you and unless you are willing to do that work we're

not going anywhere else yeah and so i'm going to get you off on another rant here and you know because you have such a fitness following but you are always just like you know if you want to be a successful personal trainer you can't be sloppy you can't be you know not looking the part so tell us a little bit more about how important that is and why that really connects with this message today. Absolutely. Listen, this message is for personal trainers worldwide. You cannot, you cannot have a broken car that's leaking and then expect to have a Mercedes or BMW customers coming to you. You cannot have a body that's falling apart. You cannot afford to be 10, 15, 20 pounds overweight. You cannot be lacking muscle, functionally falling apart, yet call yourself a fitness professional.

At the end of the day, as a personal trainer, we're walking, talking billboards. The reality is most personal trainers, fitness coaches, go, well, I understand the body. And this is the argument that people bring up to me. Well, listen, you know, the strength coach for so-and-so college is for Michigan State. You know, he's overweight. And if you looked at him, you'd think that he has, you know, drinks a six-pack of beer every night. That's fine. If you run a personal training or a fitness boot camp, online coaching, nutrition program,

you better look apart because people are judging you not off the words. that your websites say or that your social media posts say, but people are judging you by the pictures and the videos that you post up there. And at the end of the day, you might call it, well, it's only a few vanity pounds. Dude, I thought I only had 20 pounds to lose, right? I've lost 23 pounds now, and I still got another 15 pounds to lose. And so the reality is, what you think you have to lose fat-wise, trainers, you have more to lose than you think. The reality is that we've hide it really well by keeping our shoulders wide and clothes baggy. But at the end of the day people see it and you're a walking talking billboard and people decide whether they're going to

work with you or work with someone else based on what they see. Yeah and absolutely the same goes for any industry. If you're, you know, a financial advisor but your finances aren't in shape, you're not going to have any clients and rightfully so because you don't deserve them. You have to play up the level and you have to add the value. And that brings me to the next point of adding value so that young man is adding value to your life. But he's adding value to your life because you're out there adding value to so many other people's lives. And I know that because of the great social media work that you do, you are getting people contacting you out of the blue saying, hey, can you tell me more? And these people already have great followings, but they're seeing what you're doing and knowing

that it's in the next level. And every single day, I know that I want to have more billionaire clients as my coaching clients. And I know, well, the only way to get that is to add more value into those people's lives. And we have a mutual friend. Her name is Mary. She's known as the paleo chef online. hanging out with her yesterday and she was talking about how so many billionaires in the tech world are talking about her because she is their personal chef and they're talking her up and and you know making her famous she never mentions them but but they mentioned her and it's because that's because her and that's why her following is growing so fast because she is adding high value

to high value people and attracting more people into her world that is a big key big lesson So whatever you can do, you might think, oh, what can I possibly do for a billionaire? What can I possibly do for the mayor of my town? But you have some expertise, especially if you're in the fitness world, you can go and help high-value people with your high-value information. So that's one way. If you're a financial advisor, you can do that for somebody that has money that needs help. You can go and be that solution to them.

So always be looking to add value. Anything to add there? Yeah, where I want to add something there is, if anyone is right now having this secondary conversation in their head which is ah you know what though I don't know if that works for me I don't know if I can do it there's really nothing no value I can bring to someone you have a problem of self self-worth that's all it is is they have a problem of self-worth they don't feel they are worthy of connecting with someone of high value they don't think that they deserve to be connected to someone who have positive mindset and so again it goes back to self-image self-esteem because if you don't

believe that you're worthy of hanging out with someone and connecting with and them giving some of their time to you because, well, what do I have to deliver? What value can I bring to their life? What giving hand could I come with? The problem's on you, not them. At the end of the day, every person who's positive, successful, who's made it, who's where you want to be, knows that it takes others, and they know they need to pay it forward, and they're more than willing to pay it forward if you just present yourself to them and say, hey, look, I'm looking for some help, but I've got some value to add to your life. Or I'm looking for some help, and what value can I add to your life. Most people are willing to say, you know what, maybe right now there's no value you can

add to my life, but if you're willing to pay it forward to someone else later, then I'd be more than happy to give you some advice. And I said that to a young man named Layton who comes here once every other week, around 430. He's the last person I see on a Tuesday every second Tuesday, and he's creating an apparel line. He goes, well, what can I do for you? Because now he's used our studio in here. He's used that infinite white background to shoot for his gear. He goes, what can I do for you? I go, Layton, there's nothing you can do for me. We're just, our worlds are so far part right now. There's nothing you can do for me right now. But what I need you to promise me is that when you are in a place that you can do something for someone who's in your shoes now,

that you do it without any expectation, just like I did it for you. He goes, dude, count on it, done. And that's all we really have to do is come with a giving hand and the mentors are there to help us. Yeah. And I'll say one thing. The other thing that Layton can do for you is to take action, right? Because that's really the greatest gift that any student can give their teacher is to take action. Yes, sir. And that rounds up with my last, last point here. which is commit to constant and never-ending improvement, commit to Kaisan. So really, you want to get better in every single way. You want to be better at adding value.

You want to be better for yourself. You want to be a better leader. You want to be better in every characteristic that you want to improve so that you start to attract those people into your life that lift you up to the next level, right? Well said. All right. So thank you so much for being on the Empire podcast,

lifting yourself up, getting better every day, and allowing a couple of positive people to come into your life. Now, go out there and be a positive person for somebody else. Pay it forward. Share this podcast with them. Go to iTunes. Give us a nice five-star rating. And listen, if you want to build your empire,

check out more about our empire coaching program at empirepodcast.com.