Bedros Keuilian Podcast Show - How To Turn From Bitch to Beast - 132

Episode Date: January 13, 2020

Sounds cheesy but everyone has a bitch and a beast inside them. I always talk about never negotiating with the inner bitch, but what does that really mean? Listen and find out where your inner bitch comes from and how to shut it down when it’s telling you to take the easy route.   “Structure is the answer.” “Clean up my proximity.” “You can only use will power for so long.” - Bedros Keuilian   Here’s what you’ll discover: 02:30 - Are you working the bitch muscle or the beast muscle? 05:37 - Control your environment. 06:33 - Will power is not the answer. 08:18 - Go to the extremes to motivate yourself   --   ► Follow me on Instagram: @bedroskeuilian   ► Buy Man Up and get Bedros’s High Performance Leadership Course for FREE: https://manup.com/   ► Make sure to review us on iTunes: http://bit.ly/theempireshow   ► Subscribe to My Channel for weekly videos: http://www.youtube.com/bedroskeuilian/?sub_confirmation=1   ► Youtube: https://youtu.be/6VO6e3bJtzc

Willpower is not the answer. Structure is the answer if you want to feed the beast and kill the bitch. Hey, what's up, friends? Hope you're doing good. Listen, I want to talk to you about the bitch and the beast. I'm laughing because it sounds pretty stupid to say that you've got a little bitch living inside you and you've got a beast living inside you. But you know you do.

You've heard that phrase, hey, man, I'm going to go beast mode or this guy went beast mode because we all have this ability to summon up this extra courage, this extra energy, this extra willpower within us to just go all in and go through the obstacle or challenge that we're facing. We also have that inner bitch and no one ever says, well, I'm going to go bitch mode, right? But you could imagine how often you've gone bitch mode. And full disclosure, dude, I've gone bitch mode so many times in life. And the reality is it's really you copying out and saying I'm going to stay in bed instead of getting up and working out. Or I'm not going to make that last phone call. I'm just going to call it a day.

and maybe I'll make that call tomorrow morning and close that deal. When you know you should have been making that call because you need that fucking money, right? And I share this with you because so many people will negotiate with that inner bitch and then oftentimes give in. And so as I started to talk about this from stage to last like six months about the inner bitch and the inner beast, people start asking me, well, all right, all right, you're right.

I felt that I have this inner beast in me who can just get up and dominate and crush. And you're right. I do have a little bitch in me who will, you know, well, cut corners and not go the extra mile and sleep in and maybe be a little passive aggressive. But how do I get more beast-like and less bitch-like? And I thought that was a really good question. And even though I was able to answer that in like a short one-minute thing when I was

doing Q&A's after this talk that I gave, I thought it's really worth going deeper. and telling you what happens, right, when you're negotiating with the inner bitch. Because, listen, full disclosure, I'm the king of negotiating with the inner bitch. I just do it much less these days than I did 10, 15 years ago. So I can tell you this, that there is a muscle that you can train, right? And unfortunately, the more you negotiate, the more things you quit, give up on, cut corners on, it's like you're working out your bitch muscles. And the more things that you dominate through crush and execute to your highest full potential,

well, you're working your beast muscles. And like I said, truth be told, I was the king of being a little bitch. And so one day about 12 years ago, I said enough is enough. I'm going to figure out like how to fucking be beast mode all the time. And I started to do these six week challenges, right? And I was like, because up until then I would make myself excuses. Like I would say shit like, you know, God's made me to be big and muscular and strong. So I'm supposed to be in the gym, benching, squatting, deadlifting.

I'm not supposed to be a long distance runner. I'm not going to do marathon. That's for other people, right? But that's really being a little bitch. I don't care how you want to justify it. That's really being a little bitch. And so one day I decided like, hey, this is it, man. I'm going to go run a marathon.

I'm going to train for six weeks and then run the San Diego rock and roll marathon, 26.2 miles. And I did it. I hired a running coach, trained for six weeks. It was fucking painful. And I'm going to tell you this right now every time while I was going on my training runs, like the first weekend, second weekend, third weekend, all the way to week number six where the marathon came, there was at least once or twice a week where I would leave the house to go on my run.

And I'm like, you know what? I should just stop and turn back and cancel this marathon. That's you negotiating with that inner bitch. If you want to know the truth, a couple of those times during the six weeks, I did stop. And I did go home. And I did give in. And I felt like a piece of shit. and I share that with you because you might be able to relate to this on some level in some way,

right? So I figured out how to let your bitch muscles atrophy and how to build up your beast muscles. And that's what I'm going to share with you today because that's the question I get asked most often when I talk about the inner bitch and the inner beast. So here it goes. You ready for this? Think about this. Willpower, right? Let's say that there's a delicious peanut butter chocolate chip cookie on the kitchen counter at home.

You wake up first thing in the morning and you see that peanut butter chocolate chip cookie on the kitchen counter. Dude, you've got your willpower. You're like, I'm not going to eat that. I'm not going to eat that. I will not eat that chocolate chip cookie because I have a goal of getting fit and getting lean and having abs and being athletic. Now, you go to work, you have a hard day. Things stress you out. You get some people who have just kind of, who are stupid around you and you're just like fed up.

When you get home and now your willpower shot, you see that same chocolate chip peanut butter cookie and you're like, you know what, I'm going to have to eat this thing. So why is it that you had that willpower in the morning? And you're like, I'm not going to eat that. But at night, when you're tired, fatigue, stressed, overwhelmed, your willpower is gone. And now you're eating that chocolate chip cookie. And now you just negotiated with the bitch, the bitch won. And you're eating that little cookie.

And tomorrow morning you're going to feel bad about it. it when you have that willpower again. So I learned very quickly that what I have to do, one, is clean up my proximity. If there are things that are temptations in my life, I'm not going to have them around me. You just simply cannot have food or drinks that are tempting for you around you because you could only use willpower for so long. The rest of it has to be structure, right? And if it's like, well, I'm going to wake up at 5 a.m. to work out, well, guess what? You could use, you could muscle your way and wake up after three hours of sleep. But the odds are you're going to hit the snooze button and just say, fuck it, I'm not going to work out. So if you know that

you have to wake up at 5 a.m., why go to sleep at like 12 or 1 o'clock in the morning when the odds are unlikely that you're going to wake up because you didn't get enough sleep? Why don't you stack the odds in your favor, going back to structure, and go to sleep at 9 or 10 p.m. so that you can get a good seven or eight hours of sleep, now you're going to spring out of bed at 5 a.m. And go crush that workout and then start your day, right? So I learned very quickly that willpower is not the answer. Structure is the answer if you want to feed the beast and kill the bitch. And so every time you are put in an opportunity to negotiate with the bitch, ask yourself,

what is this going to cost me? There's always a cost to it, right? Like I knew that if I kept backing out from that marathon, if I kept saying, well, I'm not going to do it today. And this is what I did. I was like, well, I'm supposed to run six miles today. And then in two days, I'm supposed to run seven and a half. I'll just skip the six miles and I'll power through the seven and a half in two days. See, I justified it. And that's negotiating with the bitch, right? Well, here's what would happen. Then, of course, two days would go by. And now I got to run seven and a half miles. And I'm like, man, I'm not conditioned for this. I should have run that

six miles two days ago. So I would be conditioned for the seven and a half miles. And so now when I try and run seven and a half miles, I'm constantly negotiating with the bitch and saying, well, I'm not going to make it. I'm too tired. My body's not designed for this. I'm fatigued. I haven't trained for this. I haven't trained for it because I negotiated two days ago and I gave up on it. I share this with you because you are doing that right now in some capacity of your life. And if you think that it's okay to get away to do that and that you're going to get away with it, you're not going to get away with it, man. All you're doing every time you give up and you negotiate with the bitch is you're building your bitch muscle stronger. And every time you come to that

crossroads, you're going to choose the path of least resistance, of weakness, of mediocrity, you're going to be average, and then you're going to have a life where you die at the end, because we're all dying, no one's getting out of this thing alive, you're going to die with regrets. On the flip side, here's what I started to do. I started to put everything on the line. Remember, I said, what is this going to cost me if I bitch out? See, I started to go the other way. I was like, you know what? And this might be morbid, this might be dark, this might be twisted. But I'm like, man, if I don't go out and run these six miles, I'm going to come home in my entire family. I'm going to find them dead, chopped up, and bloodied.

Right? Like, that's the picture I drew in my head. And by doing, I'm like, go, fuck that. I'm going to go run these six miles because the hell if I'm going to come home and find my family chopped up. Like, that's what I put on the line. Like, if I didn't do the six miles for that training, then something bad would happen to my family.

Something bad would happen to me. We would lose our business. And I would put so many things. mentally, psychologically, on the line that I would force myself to only go beast mode. And the more I did that, the more I conditioned myself to only choose the hard route. And as it turns out, when you're constantly choosing hard, your life becomes easy. Because I make the hard decisions in business, and therefore I make a lot of money. And where money is concerned, my life is easy.

But if you make all the easy decisions in business where I'm not going to make that next call, I'm not going to run that marketing campaign, I'm not going to build up my business, to send my brand. Well, those are all the easy things to do, right? I don't want to take those risks. Okay, great. Now you're going to have a hard life because you chose all the easy things. You're not going to have any money. And in this world, you need money to survive. So whether it's your health, your fitness, your relationship, your business, your mindset, your kids, your spouse, you could either choose bitch mode or beast mode. And I'm telling you right now, don't leave it to willpower, leave it to structure, and always put something on the line. So keep your structure,

everything around you, structure things where the temptation of that food, a friend of mine, for example, right? So, like, structure where the food's not there. So that if you come from work and you're tired and you're like, I'm going to eat that cookie, there is no cookie to eat, right? A friend of mine said, I'm going to make 50 sales calls a day. And he had decided that if he doesn't get to 50 sales calls a day, he's going to donate $1,000 to the Democratic Party.

He's a Republican. So to him donating $1,000 to the Democratic Party, if he doesn't make his 50 calls, that's a good motivator, right? So that's no different than saying that if I don't do these six miles tonight, then I'm going to come home and find my whole family chopped up, bloodied, and dead. Well, guess what? I'm going to go into beast mode because I don't want my family to be chopped up, bloodied and dead.

So you might start putting things on the line, and it might be donating to whatever, like, a cause that you don't believe in, right? Because you don't want to part ways with your money, especially for a cause that you don't believe in. simply because you didn't do the thing that you said you were going to do. And the more you start doing that, fixing your structure and putting things on the line, like increasing the cost. Like, what is this going to cost you?

If you don't do it, the more you're going to develop your beast muscles, and soon all those bitch muscles will atrophy, and you will do nothing but beast mode moving forward. I'll see you later.