Bedros Keuilian Podcast Show - Shanda Sumpter: Entrepreneur With a Personal Life - 135

Episode Date: February 4, 2020

On this episode of Inside Look, Shanda Sumpter steps off the stage to have a personal and vulnerable conversation about her life. She gives us some fantastic insight on how to be an entrepreneur, parent, spouse, and all around badass at the same time! Shanda is an amazing business coach who helps entrepreneurs create profitable and sustainable businesses. She lets us in on her secrets and how she is able to juggle her crazy life while still making millions!   “If you give me the opportunity to work, I’ll show up.” “Pulling back actually strengthens a limitation.” “What are you not willing to give up to be a great mom and great leader?” “I’m not afraid of money.” - Shanda Sumpter   Here’s what you’ll discover: 02:19 - Where did Shanda start her journey?  10:25 -  How to use anger to catapult your business 19:37 - Where a woman’s drive comes from 24:39 - Are you the problem in your relationship? 30:40 - How Shanda is able to sell from the stage   “When people see the real you...they’re going to buy the product or service.” “We live in a time where you can spend plenty of time with your kid, while still being able to run a business...”  - Bedros Keuilian   --   ► Follow us on Instagram: @bedroskeuilian / @shandasumpter   ► Buy Man Up and get Bedros’s High Performance Leadership Course for FREE: https://manup.com/   ► Visit Shanda’s website: https://www.heartcorebusiness.com/   ► Listen on iTunes and leave us a review: http://bedrosmedia.com/itunes131   ► Subscribe to My Channel for weekly videos: http://www.youtube.com/bedroskeuilian/?sub_confirmation=1 Youtube: https://youtu.be/jZcooUyxzZs

And there's so many great leaders out there that can teach you how to speak from a stage. But I'm going to tell you, when it gets to the offer, the less crafted into a perfect offer and the more about your life, you can damn well rest assured that I'm telling you the truth. It is 100% honest. And I can lead you right down the pipe of what I've learned and then make you an offer on the end. Hey, welcome to another episode of The Empire Show. I'm Badros Kulian, and this is an inside look. And today we're going to talk to someone who's a dear friend of mine and someone who is a hustler in the most awesomest way possible.

This woman just fills me up with so much excitement every time I'm around her. Ladies and gentlemen, Shanda Sumpter. How are you, Shanda? I'm good. I'm happy to be here. Listen, thank you, first of all, for being here. I feel like I'm just talking to an old friend because we've known each other for several years now. And if you have never heard of Shanda, I'd be shocked.

But if you haven't, let me tell you a little bit about her. She really is in the event and coaching industry, right? Like you do a lot of business coaching and you run events. And I've had the good fortune to speak at a couple of your events, both Mastermind and your big annual event. Actually, it's not even annual. You have it several times a year. Zone event.

Zone events once year. Okay, annual. Maybe it just seems like it comes up often because you're so good at promoting it. But to see the energy of the people that you pack in there really speaks to a lot of who you are because we tend to. attract people like us, right? Like who we are. And I've seen more people reach out to me afterwards after you're doing your talks at your events than any other place. And I think because you've really conditioned your audience to be invested in themselves. And be generous. And be generous.

Yeah. And so they ask all the right questions. They're very generous. They are, you can tell they're self-invested. But you didn't always start off as a coach and someone running events. You started off actually in a different country. So why don't we kind of start off with who Shanda started off as in Canada? It's actually crazy that you're bringing that out. So I was talking to my mom on my way down here. And I created a video that went viral that was about my history and about my story. And it was about when I was a little girl, my mom had a boyfriend and he had a nickname for me and it was stupid. And I sent this video to my mom. And she never said anything to me.

And so on my way down here, I'm like, I sent that video to her like a month ago. She didn't say anything. And so I thought maybe she might be hurt about the fact that even though I was the one who when I was little, her boyfriend not only called me stupid, but made me eat food I didn't want to eat. He hit me. You know, I would say, I never, like, I would never put myself in a category to think that I was abused as a child, but the truth is as I was. Yeah.

And my mom and I have talked about it many times, but I could imagine the guilt on her is massive. Sure. So I thought, oh, shit. Like, I kind of pushed the envelope too far. And so we talked about it on the way over here. And she said, so something I've never told you is that the school came to my mom's house. She never told me that. And she said, I didn't say anything about the video because it dawned on me that I should have

known. And so the school came to the house and my mom thought they were blaming her for abusing her daughter because I guess I had bruises all over me and she's like, are you saying that I would ever hit my daughter? And she's like was mortified. Never realized that the man sitting next to her could have ever done that to me. And so they walked away and I said to her, you're lucky they didn't take me away. You're lucky they didn't actually take me out of the house because my life would have looked a lot different. Well, if that same event happened today, they would have taken you right out of the home.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally. So when I think about where I came from, that's what I remember. And I immigrated from Canada to America with this idea that I couldn't, like, at a dream, I had an ambition. I knew I liked America because it was fast, and I thought Canada, they even drive too slow.

Like everything, they're a little too polite, And I just really wanted to, I think that anger in me wanted to get out and create something. And so I came to America and I always had that conversation on my head like, you're stupid, you're stupid, you're stupid. And I went to school and I was barely passing school. I just did what I could to be able to stay in America. But I did what people do when they've got to survive. And when it came down to leaving America and going back to Canada, I was like, that hustle that I learned back then, it served me.

And I figured it out. And I ended up becoming American. My dad is America. America. He is America. He is American. Whole another story to that. But I had a lot of people show up generously for me.

You've shown up generously for me. An attorney wouldn't take my money and showed up generously for me and told me how to become American. And then just the rest is history. I remember thinking to myself, like, when you're sitting on your floor and, like, you think, you think. about the fact that you can't work, I remember thinking, if you give me the opportunity to work, I'll show up because it's a privilege.

How about that? How about that? So many of us take that for granted here in the States, yet you were just like, give me the opportunity and I will show up because it's a privilege. Yeah. Let's step back just for a moment. You said you had this, this anger that you used to create something. How often does it happen that when you look at successful entrepreneurs, successful actors, successful athletes. There's always a defining event that took place in childhood. For me, you know, I was molested as a kid. Then we came to the United States and I was bullied, like, to a crazy level.

It's not the kind of cyberbullying today. Like, I was punched around and, like, threatened, and my possessions were being taken away with one possession. I had a little bike. Yeah, but people hear your story right now and my story, and do you know at my events? I'll never, like, people still can't tell their story. because they're holding shame around it.

And so that shame's got their power. You know what I mean? So it's like, I don't know. There's a huge power to being able to admit it. And I'm learning this in my marriage right now. So the anger got the company going and the anger has not worked well in my relationship in my marriage. And so. So it's a great tool in some areas, but not so much in others.

Yeah. So now I'm in this whole scenario. I think the viral videos have helped where I'm just admitting. Like when I did the viral video that went viral on my mom's boyfriend who called me stupid, I cried like five times doing that video, not because what I was saying was emotional to me because I can tell the story over and over and over again. But I went back to the kitchen table when he was looking at me with those eyes, like those anger eyes.

Like if you don't eat that food, I swear to God. And looking at my mom, please just save me right now so that I don't have to eat this food. And I think if my son was sitting there, like, that can, if I went there right, like, it would drop me to tears. Like, to think anybody to hurt my kid like that, it's so unacceptable. I had to keep going into that emotion to do the video. You know, and you think of somebody hurting your daughter? Right. You know, like, really?

Like, you didn't know, and somebody was hurting your daughter right now? Like, that brings up something that is just, it's real. So there's one thing telling your story and using that anger to build. because you can build that way. It's another thing accessing the vulnerability of just admitting what that really is. Do you understand what I'm saying? Yeah, because otherwise you're being held hostage by shame

because you can't talk about it. Or you talk about it like it's out here, a thing to use it to get somewhere. Yeah, which is called disassociation. Like I actually would, whenever I would think about it, I would think about what happened to me as a kid being molested as what happened to that little boy. I never said what happened to me.

my own head, I said, what happened to that little boy? Yeah. And it was interesting because when I went to a therapist about five, six years ago now, to deal with my anxiety issues. Yeah. I was just there. And in four weeks, he helped me deal with anxiety and explain to me how to overcome the anxieties I was having.

Great, I'm done. And on the way out the door, he goes, hey, before you leave, is there anything else we need to talk about in your life? Is there family issues, parents, whatever? I'm like, oh, parents, come on. I come from a communist family. So I was never put on restriction. I was slapped around by my dad, but what happened to me even before leaving the Soviet Union was even worse than being slapped around by my mom and dad.

And he goes, wait a minute, there was something worse than physical abuse. And I broke down and started crying. And it was the first time that I had said that I was molested instead of in my head that little boy. And when I told him that, he goes, that's called disassociation. And when you're living out here and you're not being truthful of who you are, you're not tapping into being vulnerable, people know that this person's not being authentic. because it shows up in every other part of your life. In your marriage, it will show up in your health and fitness. It'll show up in your business.

Yeah. And so I'm curious because there's so many people who end up following the Empire show simply because of Craig and I and openly talking about just the messed up childhoods that we both had. Like his childhood wasn't great either, right? His dad who was just, you know, oftentimes drunk

and would sit him next to him on the tractor and the whole day was spent and not saying a word to each other. Like that was dad's way of showing love. Sit there? I'm drunk, and I'm going to plow the fields there. we spent father and son time together. And so a lot of people who follows us kind of do have come back, come from abuse. How did you use anger as a means to catapult your business?

Because you've got one hell of a business right now. And rather than really leaning on talking about your business, let's talk about how anger and abuse could be a catalyst for something good. Yeah, well, I think that some people could use a little anger. I just was listening to somebody today say how there was some challenges in their family with the kids and sports and so we're going to pull back and the first thing I think of is like

okay well then you're never really going to build something because the pull back like everybody thinks like I'm going to pull back but that's why you're not the entrepreneur you want to be because it's that pulling back actually strengthens a limitation that I can't do it you know, instead of figuring it out. So somebody, I just did another video around like moms, having mom guilt. And, you know, this whole conversation, it's parents, dad, it's everybody, right?

It's like they have this parent guilt. And somebody posted and said, I said, you can have your vision and be a great parent. And somebody said, it's actually math, Shanda, that's impossible. And had this whole post underneath. And I was like, look, like, I have no. issue with anybody being 100% if I was 100% in with my kids at home wanted to be a stay at home mom let me tell you it'd be dialed in I mean it'd be dialed in but that's not my vision like that that sounds boring to me that's not my that's not my vision I don't think that that would be a good

spot for me but when I put my phone in a box and I get up I was up at 1 o'clock in the morning this morning right so I woke up at 1 a.m. I'm not saying I do that every day but I'm definitely up at 4 a.m. every day and I work and that's so that when he gets up I can have breakfast with him I don't make his lunch I I don't like that's just pure math I don't I don't cook I don't make his lunch I don't clean but I am very much a hands-on mom I dress him I take him shopping I go paint pottery I go get my hands dirty at the beach I'm done work at three o'clock so that I'm with them you know like I'm anal about that it's very rare that I'm in a situation where it's past three o'clock and I'm doing something.

It's very rare because of the way that I run my schedule. So I just think about the fact that like anger, like when I look at anger, what would piss me off is missing my career? You know, it would completely... How funny that people aren't that honest, though. I mean, because right now people watching this might be like, how dare you say that? But the reality is how much regret are you going to have

and how much resentment will you have towards your child once that child's older? If you're like, well, because I had to cook and clean. And who wants that as a kid? And if you could provide that, right? The goal is to provide that. Exactly. And if you could provide that through other means, whether it's a housekeeper or nanny or whatever. It's team.

Yeah. It is a team effort. Sarah Blakely is an amazing mom. She owns Spigs. And Jesse Isler is an amazing dad, right? And the two of them are two highly ambitious people. And they have systems if they start to get argument with each other. they stop and slow dance, right?

Like they have systems. We have teams. You don't build a billion dollar company without figuring out how to be a great leader and build teams, right? So when you stop dealing with a B team around you

and you get an A team, then that changes the whole scope of how things grow. So when you start to learn these lessons, you start to realize the math is actually in the leadership. How many amazing people are committed to the same vision

with their life to create that type of impact because you're never going to do it alone. We just play one role. We play one role and one role only when it comes to inside the company. And that's the goal. The quicker you can get there, the better. The whole thing's going to skyrocket.

But that doesn't mean that you can't have friends. You can't be fit. You can't be a parent. And I just think people are hiding. All right. So to that point, because we have a lot of women who are fans and listeners of the Empire show, which we really appreciate. And every now and again, I'll hear and I'll get this message.

And I just start cringing because I know as a man sending a reply to this question is going to be like, oh, well, you don't understand. You're a man, right? And usually it's like, yeah, Bedros, I want to be successful. I want to be an, I want to follow my passion. Yeah, but I'm a mom. I'm a wife who's going to cook and clean, who's going to do all that stuff. They almost look at it as they have to take on these duties that like you said, your child doesn't want you necessarily to wash their clothes. Your child needs and probably wants clean clothes, but your child doesn't want you to wash the closed. They want you there playing with them. They want you there putting them into bed, which all those things you do as a mom. So how do you answer that question when someone says, I need to be there?

So first, well, so I am there. I mean, I am there. If I had to work a nine to five job in a corporate environment that I couldn't be, like my husband, my son is in hyperbaric oxygen chambers right now because he doesn't say his S's. And so who do you think takes them 95% of the time? That's at 2 o'clock. So it has to be five days a week that he goes. I have to do that for 40 days straight, right? And so, or 40 sessions straight. And I get to go do that because I'll alter my schedule. So the truth is, is what are you not willing to give up to be a great mom and a great leader?

Because it's not about, if they love to cook, then that would be, instead of me doing pottery with him, like painting. Right. Right? We'd cook. Yeah. If I could do it, we would do it. my nanny does it and he cooks with her and he's got a chef hat and he makes eggs and he loves it but that's not with me that's with her that's their bond and i think the biggest thing women entrepreneurs

need to understand or women who want to strive to become entrepreneurs just absolve yourself of that guilt like this is not the 1950s and 60s we live in a time where you can spend plenty of time with your kid while still being able to run a business and do the things that you don't want to do Well, and the other thing that they contemplate with or they struggle with is being feminine and being masculine. And, you know, that's a real, like, when you've got a really strong drive, that's a game that you have to contend with. So I take the last week of every month off, and I, like, now I'm going into, you know, holiday season or skiing season, we're going to go ski. All Voxer, everything comes off my phone. and so for two weeks

I do nothing but shop and I bake, I love to bake and I just, I'm a total girl you know, I'm a total, and I've got to balance that out because I have a really strong drive. So women will say things like, I'm too masculine, not me, but

like I don't want to be too masculine and I want to be able to, you know, balance that out and I'm like, I hate to tell you this, but whether you agree with me or not, raising a child is masculine. Anything to do with a plan and a point is very masculine. And so I don't know why people are trying to like pretend like it's women and guys.

It's really about, listen, it's tough to play in a guy's world. Most masterminds that I'm a part of, there's six of us with 100 guys. You're 90 guys. Like there's not many of us. We meet in our own little group and we create our own little mastermind within the mastermind to support each other because we don't do it like the guys do it. We don't want to drive the same way the guys. do. We might sound like them, but the difference is that we really are like getting our nails

done. We really do love to go do our hair. We really love to still shop. And we want to be there for our children's everything first. And so, and we won't miss that where a guy might miss that. Yeah, no, most guys, we just don't have any guilt missing that because I think it's just in our DNA whereas a woman you might have guilt dealing with that, missing that. So let's talk about that. I mean, you've got, you know, it's up to you if you want to share the numbers, but you've got a very highly successful, multi, multimillion dollar company, organization that's highly successful. And you're a great mom.

And, you know, we've gone out to dinners with you and your husband, Ash. And when someone says, well, how can I do both? Let's shift gears for a minute and talk about how you can run your business. So you wake up at 4 a.m. Let's talk about your productivity and your morning structure because that might be able to shed a light on how you're able to create multi-multimillion dollar business and still be a spouse, still be a mom, still be a friend. Yeah. Right.

So what's your morning routine? I'm getting better at being a wife. We've got a really, really great shift recently. So the good thing about being driven is you never settle. You don't settle. So any man who's married a driven woman is really fortunate because as long as he can make her feel safe, because remember where the drive comes from, right? As long as he can make her feel safe, she will back down.

You know what I mean? And that's where she wants to be anyway. She wants to be able to get off that edge for a minute and just be like, like sink into that. You said that so fast and so smoothly. I need to restate that one more time for our audience. You said any woman who's driven, we need to understand where that drive comes from. Yeah. Because men have a drive that comes from a very different place to conquer.

Yeah. We want to conquer. Yeah, we don't think like that. No, you wanted safety. You said to be safe because when we go back to the earlier conversation of your childhood and mom's boyfriend who nicknamed you stupid, that was not a safe place to be. No, no, no. The bruises that you had on your body, that was not a safe place to be.

Yeah. And so you set out to really create safety and security. And in this world, money, wealth, does buy you a sense of safety and security. You know, you have a house, you have your own person. and if things fall apart. Oh, even security guards. Security guard, all of it. You can literally, yeah.

Yeah. And boy, that's a very, I never thought of it that way. So when I get out of my car, even in my driveway, even when I wait for the gates to close before I get out of my car at night. And I don't have my keys anymore, my fingers because I know I've got surveillance everywhere. But I even think when I take my kid out of the back of the car, I'm looking. We came out of the YMCA at night from his swim class. and I looked at them and I said, we're mummy, and you are going to run to the car. It's dark.

And he goes, why, Mom, I go, it's a game. We're superheroes. We've got to get in the car really fast. Because I'm thinking about the fact that I can't protect myself with my kid, you know. And so women think like that all the time. We're fundamentally really different. So everything from the house we buy to, you know, the car I drive to the investments that my husband and I make, it started all with safety.

Now it's getting more fun, but it's still everything started with safety. I wanted to make sure that we weren't cleaning toilets when we were 80. Right. You know, so that drive, that drive comes from trying to create that. And I love hearing that. I appreciate you saying that because that gave me an epiphany of like, oh, gosh, okay, so maybe not every woman out there who's an entrepreneur wants to conquer. It might just actually stem from safety first.

We're competitive. We're still competitive. Like, you know, if I see a woman, like there's a woman I'm, masterminding with right now. She's done $2 billion on Amazon. She's three years younger than me. I'm like, how did she do that? Do you know what I mean? Like, but we want to collaborate. Sure. So like as I'm winning, she's going to win. We give everything unless we're fearful. If we're fearful, then we're still trying to hide it because we don't want somebody to get an edge on us. But we are collaborative by nature. Like we just want to help and grow if that makes any sense of it.

Let me ask you this. And why, I'm going to kind of put you on the spot and maybe you can help me understand as someone who's who I look at like a sister to me, right? Like we've known each other for many long years. Why is it that you hear that women just hate each other? Women don't want to see other women succeed. I actually don't believe that. Is that false? I actually don't believe that.

Or are you just hanging around in a different circle of women that most women aren't? I don't know. I don't know. I've never experienced that. So I hear that. I just heard that from somebody recently in a mastermind, and that's why she wanted to collaborate altogether

and just to give the girls. like, you know, another edge. And I just, I was honest with her too. I said, I just don't experience that. So if you're putting that out, like, I'm my own leader. So if I walk into any sort of conversation with somewhere, any sort of relationship, I'm the same way with you as I am with anybody. I just, I'm giving and I'm an open book, you know.

If you screw me over, I'm never going to forget, but I'm going to forgive you and I'm going to move on. But, like, that's just my nature. That's who I am. And so I think if I, I mean, if I would be someone who was cut throat, I'm just, you know what, take every strategy I have. I don't give a shit. Because all I'm going to do is get better. You're a unique breed. But I'm going to get better.

And typically all that's going to do is give me some sort of relationship equity somewhere. Do you know I've never asked any of my friends to really do a big launch with me or really be responsible for like putting me on the map on anything? I just have done it myself. And so I'm not saying I would never ask anybody, but I have so much relationship equity, and I didn't do it for that reason. You know, I don't hang out with people that I don't actually authentically like.

I've never dated a guy because he had a lot of money. I've just never played that game. I just did it myself. So I think when women are experiencing that, they need to look inside and say, where are you living in scarcity? Where are you not being giving? Giving.

Where has somebody hurt you to the point where you're afraid to really, like, lead first. I think leaders, they do everything first. Like, you step in and you give first. And when you operate from that standpoint, I don't know. I just think you create a different wake. So I said something earlier. You said, you know, while I have all this drive and I'm driven because of safety,

if my husband or if the man in the relationship could show me that I'm safe, you said the words were back down? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Explain that. Okay, so this is a great example. I walk into our bathroom, I don't know, a month and a half ago, a month ago, and I was reading scripture. And I'm really loving the word, like just getting into the word. I'm just, I think it's one of the best personal development, anything.

So you can, you can, everything, every personal development program, if you really study the word, is actually built off of it. And at the end of the day, if a woman, lots of women will not like me saying this, but if a woman will, allow the man to have the final word, things are going to work better in the relationship. If the man dedicates his entire relationship to his wife to make her happy, well, she's going to keep building him. So there's a breakdown of entitlement happening. And, you know, I know when I give in a relationship and like think about my safety back from the core, nothing was safe. So I walk in the bathroom and I'm reading the word and I come downstairs. and our son, Zach, is in there with them.

And he's like, how are you doing, babe? And I was like, relationships are hard. And I just busted down crying. And it was a really vulnerable moment of giving up, being right, about everything I've done for him. And just, like, realizing, like, I remember somebody's saying to me, you know, Ash, like, helps with Zach. Ash like plays soccer with them like three, four times every morning before school.

Ash will like help me get him to school if something comes up. And I'm like, he's his dad. Like that's what dads do. And I didn't realize how much entitlement I had built in my mind about this amazing man who has been so giving. I mean, he doesn't want to live in San Diego, but he does. I mean, he likes it now. But like he's given up so many things that I just thought were,

that's what you do to be a great husband, and I didn't give him a lot of credit for that. Then I dawned on me, I was like, holy shit, I'm the problem. Like, I have a good relationship and not an extraordinary relationship, because I'm the problem. I'm walking around entitled about him doing everything that he should do, and I'm missing the fact that this guy just wants to love me. And I have no role model, and why did I ever think that I was doing it right,

and my way was right. And I just shifted. And he fell head over heels in love. Oh, wow. And we just have been incredibly unstoppable since. So you touched on something. You said, because I had no role model. So isn't that funny?

Because if you look at the divorce rate, it's brutal. It's 50%. And I'm convinced of the 50% that don't divorce, half of them act divorced. They're just, there's no communication. There's no real. Roommates.

Yeah, they're roommates. Exactly. So you look at the kids growing up. they may not have a great role model for mom or dad, and then they grow up and they have these expectations and entitlements. Yeah. And then end up building resentment off of those expectations and entitlements. It's brutal.

When really they had no role model to begin with in the first place. It's brutal. Yeah. It's so brutal. I mean, if you believe in anything scripture, that would be the definition of the enemy playing on the planet. And, you know, there's only two covenants you go into, one with God and one with your spouse.

And it's not with your church. It's not with your friends. it's not I'm with your kids. You know, it's actually you and your spouse and you and God. And so if you're operating and you're not, you don't have a full cup in those two areas, then you're in a dangerous zone. I mean, because your thoughts are where the enemy comes in and plays.

And as soon as he's in there, it just takes one thought that leads to another thought. And before you know it, you're texting somebody else or you're, you know, it's just, thank God, I have never, I've got high integrity. But it still doesn't count. for the fact that, you know, when you're thinking about your spouse and thinking that they could be this or they could be that or if only.

And it's like, gosh, damn it, you're stronger than that. Why would you? Well, the truth is anyone on the other side could look at us, right? Like, my spouse could look at me and go, well, if only. Like, there's really an if only on all of us. So who am I to if only when there's a lot of if only's on this side that I can improve, that I need to improve that I need to work on? Yeah.

Let's kind of shift gears for a moment and go back to, that hard-charging Shanda for a moment because I really love what I love about the show is I'll just jump around wherever I want because I just take the interest that I have in people and the people are like man I really love how you went from this so I recently interviewed a friend his name is Wes Watson he's a

he was in prison for 10 years he just got out his 16 months so he's still on parole so I actually went to San Diego to interview him he lives in San Diego he can't leave San Diego and you know I kept taking him in and out of prison in the interview. Yeah.

Prison, prison life, and then back to being an entrepreneur because he's an entrepreneur because he's an entrepreneur now. Actually, he hired or he works with Rich Sheffron. Oh. Yeah. And he does about $150,000, $200,000 a month in revenue

and does great for himself. He's just out there, he's, as he calls it, he's the most popular felon on the internet because he's got this tremendous YouTube show where he's just freely giving advice to people and keeping them out of jail or jail, right? Real prison or the mental prison we tend to find ourselves in.

We kept bouncing in and out of that, and I found that when I do that, because I take interest, so I'm going to do that with you. What we shared there was really awesome, but let's go back to being in business for a moment. You are so good at commanding an audience at events. Not only at our events, like you spoke at Craig and my event, the Empire Business Summit, but when I come to the Zone event and I'm backstage watching you speak, and the way you speak with passion, the way you pour with passion, and that's all great, and you fill up seats, and we can't sit here and learn about how you fill up seats and all that.

In fact, one of these days I want, Craig and I were talking, we want you to come and teach at the Empire Mastermind. Yeah. And so we'll have you do that. But what I'd like you to just share for a moment, not so much how you command the stage, but how you are so good at selling from the stage. Because you do sell some high ticket coaching programs. Yeah, I'm not afraid of money. Okay. So explain that.

One, not afraid of money. And two, is there a three, four, five, 20-step process of selling from the stage? Because if you can sell from the stage, you can sell on social media. Okay. and I both have this in common where the stronger my leadership guts, it means less about the actual offer. And so my strategy is I always practice an offer. I always practice a repitch. I have a big wine fridge wall in my house and it gives a good reflection and I literally practice in front of that. So before I go into any event before, well, my own events, my big events that I'm actually

selling. I have practiced that offer multiple times and I never give the same offer at the big events ever twice. I tried to do a great offer and replicate it and I wasn't in that offer. So even though it sounded amazing, it was so well rehearsed, like it just, I wasn't there. The first time you were, but you weren't able to replicate it. I wasn't able to replicate it. So what I've realized about myself is whenever I'm going to make an offer in a big room, a room that it's cost a lot to put on this event. I really, like, you don't want to bomb it. And so I think about what is the big lesson that I've learned?

Like, what's something that has happened in my life? So one of the best offers I ever made was actually supporting my husband. The story was supporting my husband doing the Kona Iron Man. It was a big dream of his. And there's a moment when we're on the road and see I'm getting there right there. And we're on the road and we're in Hawaii and we're running along the side of the road. I'm running next to him, and he looks over at me, and he's like, babe, I'm bleeding. And I'm like, you got this, honey.

You got this. Like, I'm like, holy shit, he's got so long to go, but I can't break. I've got to tell. Like, you got this. Like, what do you need to do for you? Like, do you need to go somewhere in your head? Like, you've got this. He's like, no, I'm bleeding down there.

Whoa. And no man wants to bleed down there. And I'm like, all right, babe. And he looks at me and goes, I love you so much. much. Thank you for being at every checkpoint. Like, I don't think I could do this without you. And it was such a deep moment of team that I had with him that when I was talking about it, like, I was team with my husband in a way that I had never been team with anybody in my life. And so as I'm telling this story, I look out at the audience and the whole audience is bawling, right? To the point where

it almost took me out of the story and I had to get back on that road with my husband and keep going. So I pick something in my life that, like, I learned team. I learned what it really looked like to stand for somebody. When you're 17, 18, 20 hours out there, you've got a brand new baby. Everybody's gone to eat, gone to nap, but you're still out there, you know, with your husband, when you can't see them somewhere on the court. It's a big deal. You know, you can bail any time.

Lots of wives go, like, sorry, I got a new kid. I'm out. You know, I'll see you at the finish line. maybe, you know, I was there for that guy. And he was there for me while we were doing this race together without me physically doing it. So that offer just crushed it because I was sharing what I was learning. So I guess what I would say is like, you know what you're going through. And you know that story better than anybody can teach you how to do an offer.

And there are so many great leaders out there that can teach you how to speak from a stage. But I'm going to tell you when it gets to the offer, the less crafted into a perfect offer and the more about your life. And think like you're like an Emmy award winning actor or actress. You can't tell the story. Like I can't, when I tell the story about being abused versus being at the table and getting in it, it is two different stories. So when you can actually think, like you're an actor, you're an actress. You know, Brad Pitt doesn't show up to a movie and just tell the lines about what's happening in him or whatever. You know, he gets into it, right?

He gains the weight. He puts whatever. It becomes a character. Angelina Jolie, whoever it is, they become, they reenact that moment. So I think I always wanted to be an actress. I know I always wanted to be an actress. I was just afraid to speak. I was afraid to, like, go to drama class.

Like, you know, so now I've realized that that calling inside. me, I'm living it out now on the stage. And so when I get on that stage, I'm like, what does this audience need for me? And if I'm making an offer, you can damn well rest assured that I'm telling you the truth. It is 100% honest. It has been rehearsed over and over and over again so I can get out the stuff that is irrelevant, and I can lead you right down the pipe of what I've learned and then make you an offer on the end that converts.

And the offer is literally, here's the bullets of what's in the program. That's easy stuff. So I think where people struggle is they're telling a story to get something, where I am reenacting a moment that means so much to me, and I'm bringing you into, I'm sharing that moment generously with you. And that's the difference. So I could screw it up. I could do anything.

It doesn't matter because it's going to come out right. Do you think, I mean, your ability to do that is because you have done so much self-work and you're okay with just putting everything out there and not feeling judged and rejected by society? I think most people who aren't that vulnerable is because they're afraid of being judged and rejected. Yeah, so you've got to walk through that. So I had a fear of looking good too,

a fear of looking good. And so, and I still do. Like when I step on a stage, like if Grant Cardone asked me to come to 10x, I would have to work through that. You know, so it doesn't go away. Like, stupid doesn't go away. It doesn't go away.

It's not gone. whenever there's that next level, it comes up. And then I have to get myself out of, okay, my audience is not the speakers. My audience is not impressing. I am here to serve people who are going to hear this message who have some sort of a connection with what I'm experiencing right now in my life. So what I'm experiencing right now in my life is admitting. I'm admitting.

That's where I'm at right now. I'm just admitting. And that admitting, some people might call it surrendered. Surrender never made sense to me. Admitting does. To admit to my husband that I'm not right. To admit that I sat at a table with some of my friends and some people that are not my friends. And Pete Vargas is like, you know, I would book you on any stage and totally hook you up and take care of you.

You've done so much for me. I would do it completely for free. I'm like, but Pete, like I'm afraid. I'm intimidated to go. go on some of those stages and everybody's like, what? You know, and I'm like, yeah, maybe I do 65 plus events a year. But still, there's a next level for you and next level for me. I'm just admitting.

And do you know how fucking good it feels to just admit? Sure. So it's therapeutic and it's financially beneficial as well. It's incredible. It's incredible. And that's the bottom line to any strong pitch, whether you're pitching something on a webinar, you're pitching something on a Facebook live, Instagram live, whatever it is, order to an audience of 500 or 5,000, it's being vulnerable and authentic. When people see the real

you and they go, this woman is on a mission and I want to be part of this mission, they're going to buy the product of service that you're selling. And if the product and service are solid, they're going to stay and keep paying for a long time to come. Yeah, and if they're not solid, then you'll build that. Right. Do you know what I mean? Like there's been things that I've sold that were good and two with two years later, I'm getting around to making them extraordinary. Sure. You know, so I think really there's a great book, Blitz scaling. that really helped me let go of this need to, you know, if you want it to be small for a long time,

then obsess over perfection. You know, but if you want it to scale, listen, when somebody's building a big, the only reason why I didn't grow faster is because I didn't borrow money. I never would bootstrap again. If you took everything away from me, I would go fine capital and I would not bootstrap again.

You know, it's funny you say that. Same. I feel the very much same way. It's like, there's a sense of, like, gosh, I did this all myself, self-funded. But now when I'm coaching clients, I'm like, you know, there's a faster and easier way to do it where you don't have to put your life and your possessions at risk. Yeah.

Yeah. And, you know, as long as you're willing to do the work, it's not like you're putting someone else's shit at risk either. No, but they're scared because most people don't do the work. That's exactly. Most people are great starters and shitty finisher. Yeah. They know, deep down inside they're not going to do the work so they don't want to borrow the money and then, of course, be liable for that.

Yep. So many great lessons, so many great takeaways on every single front, by the way. So thank you for again. Once again, being vulnerable, being open. and being the authentic you. If our audience wants to learn more about you, find out how they can reach you. What's the best way?

Instagram right now. It's really like I'm on Facebook more than any other platform on our hardcore business page. But Instagram is really the only place that you can still get me. I'm still in my DMs. I'm still there.

You know, that's really the last place you can get me right now. That's it. That's where to find me. So they're going to go to, is it just Shanda Semptor? Yeah. Shanda Sumpter on Instagram.

Shanda, thank you so much for being on the show. Guys and gals, if you liked this episode, and I know you did, I want you to leave us a five-star review on iTunes, leave a comment. And, of course, take a screenshot, share it on social media, and be sure to tag Shanda, tag myself, and of course tag Craig Ballanty. Thank you for watching and listening. We'll see you next time.