Beef And Dairy Network - Episode 130 - Bolog-No

Episode Date: February 1, 2026

Simon Alcock, Mike Wozniak, Gemma Arrowsmith, Sammy Dobson, Margaret Cabourn-Smith, Henry Paker, Tom Crowley and Linnea Sage join in this month as we learn about the new charity, Bolog-No.Stock media provided by Setuniman/Pond5.com and Soundrangers/Pond5.comMusic credit courtesy of epidemicsound.com:It's All About Us/Jaslyn EdgarMozart - Violin Sonata in A major, K. 526 III. Presto/Conway KuoMozart - Violin Sonata in E minor, K. 304 II. Tempo di minuetto/Blair McMillenMozart - Violin Sonata in G major, K. 301 I. Allegro con spirito/Conway KuoBackspace/Blue SagaWhat's on My Mind (Instrumental Version)/John RunefeltLunch Break in Milan/Trabant 33 

The Beef and Dairy Network podcast is brought to you by the new Cross Torn's online sale at Mitchell's Agricultural Supplies. If it's not Mitchells, get back in the truck. Just look for those crossed horns on our website to find over 50% off across our range. All nylon pig bins, 50% off. The sparrow masher, 50% off. The Neptune's Burden Aqua Barrow. All of these are 50% off. The Hand of Christ Full Fees.

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The Beef and Dairy Network podcast is the podcast companion to the Beef and Dairy Network website, as well as the printed magazine brought to you by Mitchells. It's worth noting that they currently have their 50% off sale, with 50% off any item marked with the crossed horns of the discount heifer on their website. But be careful, it's one of those sales where you might end up buying some things you actually don't need. I myself bought a huge number of bovine anti-worming lozenges. I don't need them, but the price was irresistible. I then put some in my car and got them mixed up with a tin of travel sweets, which accounts for my slightly scratchy voice today, and my bleeding anus. Anyway, this month saw the publication of statistics that show that the average Brit now takes over 1,000% longer to make a spaghetti bolognese than they did in 1985.

The general consensus seems to be that this can be attributed to a growing pressure that people feel that they should be simmering their Bollinets for hours. But as the statistics show, this wasn't always the way. Someone who has set up a charity to combat this cultural shift is Raymond Cortley. Formerly the MP for the Somerset Levels, Raymond is best known for championing the Beef Information Centre building program, which saw over 1,000 beef information centres built across the length and breadth. of the United Kingdom in recent years. Ousted from his seat in the 2024 general election, Raymond has now dedicated all his time to this new charity.

Bolognau. Raymond Cortley, thanks for talking with me today. Good morning, thank you for having me. I started by asking Raymond whether he feels proud of what he achieved in government with the Beef Information Centre building program. Huge pride. Huge pride.

You're whenever... You come to various crossroads in life. You look back over your achievements, and there is nothing to compare to having bricks and mortar, a lasting physical legacy of what you have achieved in office. And I couldn't be prouder. But then I guess the question is why, then, if you were able to achieve this feat, did the constituents at the 2024 election kick you out and instead elected Milton Pim, who is actually independent running against you,

specifically on an anti-Raymond platform. He, of course, was saying that the Beef Information Centre building program had been a disaster for Britain, that it had taken away resources from almost every other part of the public sphere in Britain. He claimed that the Navy's recent flagship aircraft carrier is no more than 100 old Hyundai Tens welded together because that's all Britain could afford because we'd spent all our money on beef information centres.

Look, I'm not going to relitigate the old, arguments over whether we should or should not have defunded the nuclear alert system or mothballed 100,000 care homes to fund the BICs. What I will say on the point you raised to do with naval procurement is that, let's not forget, it is made of lots of Hyundai I-10s. It's a significant step up from a number of earlier proposals to simply use one, which in the end was discounted as it would simply not be able to accommodate the number of service personnel we would ideally want to be able to deploy, would not be able to hold the number

of aircraft, or the thousands of tons of ordnance that any naval power would hope to in order to be considered a suitable deterrent. So I think it's important to get a sense of perspective here. So why, Raymond, do you think it was that you were voted out? Well, let's face facts. One scheme, however transformative, is simply not enough. the country, I think, was fed up with the government dragging its heels when it came to the rollout of many other long-promised beef initiatives. For example, every home having access to superfast beef, still there exists a divide between urban and rural areas on that front. The huge expansion of offshore beef supplying more and more of our domestic beef consumption with animals reared on small platforms, again, the country was crying out for us to go further, faster,

simply to rest on your laurels and point to one achievement in office is never enough, and I think we found out at the election. I asked Raymond why he set up Bolognau. There exists now a divide over when something can be considered sufficiently cooked. Let's put it that way. Look, simmering's always existed as a practice. But if I can just put it, this in some sort of historical context here. There are broadly speaking three periods of

spaghetti bolognese that we've gone through in this country. The first phase, and fortunately we are, we're through this phase now, which was when spaghetti bolognese was regarded by the public at large as a dangerously exotic foreign food. The second phase was when the British public loved nothing more than whipping up a quick spank bowl. I'm sure we all have very fond memories of existing in that phase. It's occupied most of our current century. Right. And now we find ourselves here at the cusp of the third phase, in which people are encouraged and expected to simmer their bolognese for hours. And I'm afraid the consequence of this is all too obvious.

It is ruining British productivity. People are stuck in their kitchens, in their bedrooms, in their university accommodation, for hours on end, simply tending a pot of not quite boiling beef mints. Okay. So how long does to take you, Raymond Cawley to whip up at a spag bowl? Me personally, if I'm making a spaghetti bolognese, I can have completed that dish in 25 minutes. Let's just look at the facts here, shall we?

Everybody knows the larger the piece of beef, the longer it takes to cook. Now, mince is one of the smallest forms of beef that you can cook. It has been processed into tiny little beef worms so that the surface area is frankly enormous. The point of contact with the pan is huge. It does not take a long time to cook. Now, what the Cimarites are saying is that, well, it is cooked, but we can cook it more.

And I'm saying to you that this is a completely unnecessary step that is designed purely to waste people's time. The average amount of time spent cooking a spaghetti bolognaise now is six and a half hours. And my charity exists to try and counter this campaign of misinformation. There is a cultural point to be made here. We are not a nation of simmeras. We never were a nation of simmerers. And this sort of relates to our history as an island nation. We have been invaded time and again.

Imagine you are a Saxon or an angle. And you get word that there's a Viking raid on the horizon, but oh no, you're in the middle of simmering a piece of beef that's been hunted and gathered for you by a member of your hurt. or your tribe, you're toast because you are simply stuck at a pot. Nobody's been fed. Nobody's refueled. You are completely static.

You are a prisoner to the simmering Bolognese. You cannot move. You cannot survive. It has always been the case in this country that you have to be mobile in order to survive. I think people listening might say fine, but we don't live in that world anymore. You know, we don't have to be worried about Viking Raiders. Maybe we've got a bit more time to sit back, let it simmer and slow cook. that lovely beef bolognese.

You hear it in different ways, don't you? What you're saying is essentially you have a culture of idleness now. And it's not surprising. Young people, you know, they spend hours on TikTok and BBC good food. And this stuff is being pushed to them. You hear these phrases, buzzwords like depth of flavour, as if flavour can be deep. Flavour is flavour, something has a particular flavour. You put it in a dish, it acquires that flavor.

That's how cooking works. But these young people now, I think they're so insulated from the hard processes of life that, yes, they have nothing better to do than sit and simmer for hours, frankly. And I'm not sure it's something that we should just sit back and accept, frankly. So what is Bollogneau doing? Obviously, you're raising money for Bollogneau. We can include a link to your website where people can donate if they wish. What is Bolligno doing with that money to try and prevent this? Well, we do school visits and we're working on an online campaign where we try and boil other things to show the effects that it can have.

It has so far not been all that successful. We are struggling to boil things that really resonate with young people. I myself did a video the other day where I boiled my own hand in the hope that it would take off rather like the ALS ice bucket challenge. and the hope is that other celebrities might get involved, start boiling their hands. But we're still working on getting traction with that. Hello, this is Raymond Corkley, and today I'm going to be doing the Bolognau Boil My Hand Challenge.

I'd like to nominate Barack Obama. And yes, as you can see, I've got a pan on the stove, all set up ready. So, yes, here we go. Hello, I'm about doing the Bole Gno Boil Your Hand Challenge, and I nominate my goddaughter, do you know, happy 9th birthday, do you know? Right. Oh! Hello, I'm doing the Bolognaud Boil Your Hand Challenge, and I nominate Hillary.

Here goes. I need that skin. I need that skin. It's got... I'm in flaps. Why is my skin coming her up in flats? I put it back on, I don't even put it back on. Oh, my thumb's gone, my thumb's gone.

Yesterday, my son Emery came home from school, and as usual, as he unlaced his school shoes, he asked me what we were going to eat for tea. And because it was a Wednesday, like every Wednesday, I told him I was going to whip up a quick spaghetti bolognese, his favourite. I looked down in anticipation of a wide smile, perhaps a fist bump or a high five. But his face was telling a different story.

His eyes widened. His bottom lip began to quiver. And then he started crying. Not loudly at first, but with a kind of controlled, almost adult panic. What's the matter, darling? I asked. I don't want a quick, spaghetti bolognaise mummy, he replied. But it's your favourite. You love a spaggy bolly.

But I don't want a quick one, he screamed. But I don't want a quick one! And he ran upstairs, slammed his bedroom door, and within seconds I could hear Jimmy Carr on Netflix. I had sensed a change in Emery in recent months. Perhaps it was turning seven. Maybe it was something at school. Maybe it was getting so into Jimmy Carr

that he'd asked for a hair transplant for his birthday. Something was up. I could feel Emery was pulling away from me. Jimmy Carr had become a kind of babysitter, a gurning three-piece suited uncle who lived inside Emery's iPad. Emery would sit, transfixed at the screen, not laughing, but nodding and taking notes on an etch-sketch. I got on with making the spaghetti bolognese,

and after about 25 minutes it was done, and I went up to Emery's bedroom. He had stolen my credit card again and was booking tickets to a comedy-follin' name. festival in Saudi Arabia. I batted my credit card out of his hand. What's going on with you, Emery? I asked. What's the matter? He looked at the floor. Mommy, he said, I want to tell you something. A few months ago at school, we went on a trip to a beef information centre. I felt my stomach tighten. They told us, he continued, that when you make a bolognaise, you shouldn't rush it. You should

simmer the beef gently for several hours so you can achieve a greater depth of flavour. My blood ran cold. I had always known this day might come. I just thought I'd have more time. Let me explain. When I married my husband Colin, we honeymooned in Rome. It was beautiful, everything we'd hoped it would be, whether that was getting pickpocketed by the Coliseum in the morning, or getting pickpocketed overlooking the Spanish steps at sunset. It would have been perfect, except we found that the exotic foreign food didn't agree with Colin's very British constitution.

On the last night of the honeymoon, after eating what I believe the Italians call a pizza, Colin went very quiet and then said he was going back to the chalet. He told me that if I wanted to stay out, soak up the atmosphere and perhaps get pickpocketed again, I should do so, maybe have a dessert on the terrace. So Colin waddled back to the chalet, clutching his midsection, his ass making noises like a castle sentry blowing a French horn through hot custard,

and I ordered a tiramisu tower. The tower arrived with sparklers stuck into the top, and when the waiter leaned forward to place it in front of me, the sparkler singed the waders' eyebrows and set fire to his long dark hair. He began bowing and repeatedly apologised, in English that was far too good for someone using their second language while their head was on fire. I screamed for help, And another of the waiting staff came and unloaded the contents of a panacotta fire extinguisher onto his head,

totally putting out the fire. But it couldn't put out the fire in my loins. That's right, he'd brought me a complimentary plate of brandy-soaked pork loins, which were now aflame. Just like the flame that was growing in my heart. That's right, he'd also brought me a complimentary flombade venison heart. But that wasn't the meat I was focused on. No, that. was his penis.

That's right, the waiter had also brought me a complimentary roasted horse penis. As I hungrily chewed on the roasted equine schlong, the waiter scooped panacotta from his eyes and introduced himself as Marco. I introduced myself, and he continued to clean himself up, spattering raspberry coolly onto my top as he did so. I'm sorry, he said, please come through to the kitchen where I can clean you up. And even though this was my honeymoon, The thought of Marco going at me with a wet wipe

filled me with a level of sexually charged anticipation I'd only previously felt in the days leading up to a new episode of Top Gear where it was rumoured that James May was going to take his top off. He led me into the restaurant, past the diners and past the giant plaster of Paris Russell Crowe to a door. Through the door was a quiet, entirely dark room. He flicked on a lamp. This isn't a kitchen, I said.

No, he said. dabbing sweat from his brow with a chibata. It's a special room I have, where I bang young British holidaymakers. Of course, the setting his head on fire routine was just that, a routine, designed to charm young, naive British women like myself. Of course, his head was a decoy head. He pulled it off and revealed an even more handsome head beneath. I looked around. This room was irresistible to any British woman. To make me feel at ease, he had hung a selection of only fools and horse. posters and there was a small television playing Prince Edward's wedding. On a side table was a cheddar David Jason. He handed me a pint of warm ale and a hot sausage roll. Colin would love it in here, I uttered, and I thought of him back at the chalet, sharting wildly. Who's Colin? asked Marco.

No one? I replied. I'm ashamed to say that any thoughts of Colin were soon swept away by Marco's penis, and this time I mean Marco's actual penis and not the free-roasted one. horse penis that he gave me earlier. I won't go into detail about what happened next, but what followed was brief, chaotic, and intensely Roman. We didn't so much have sex as collide, like two buttered pigs fired at each other from cannons at point-blank range as part of some sort of awful pageant. Once it was over, Marcos' demeanour changed. He switched off the television showing Prince Edward's wedding and wordlessly left, throwing a wet chabatta in my direction. I know never saw him again. I made my way back to the table where another member of staff had cleared

away the plates and had left the bill. The horse penis wasn't free after all. As soon as Emery was born, I knew he wasn't Collins. From the beginning, he had an appetite for Italian food, bowlfuls of spaghetti bolognese, sometimes just eating a tomato like an animal. When he drank milk from my breast, he would spit it out into a cheesecloth and make a rudimentary ricotta. I knew, that as he grew up, he would become more receptive to European ideas, ideas about time, simmering food for hours on end, and I feared Colin would find out. I was amazed that he hadn't twigged already, seeing as we'd never had sex.

Back in the present, Emory was crying again. He said he wanted me to simmer the Bollinase for hours. He became hysterical until I put on some YouTube videos of Jimmy Carr slamming hecklers. I looked at Jimmy's expensive suit. made a fine cloth. Italian? Is that why Emery loves him so much? I turned on the stove again and simmered the Bollonais for a further ten minutes. Surely that's enough. I reached to turn off the gas, but from behind me a small voice said very calmly, keep simmering. So I simmered it for another hour. At the end of the hour, I looked at him, hoping for approval, hoping for mercy. He narrowed his eyes. and hissed keep simmering.

I gave it another hour. Colin came home from work, took one look at the hob, and immediately understood that his son was Italian. Without a word, he turned around, got back in our Hyundai-I-10, and reversed away. I've not seen him since.

I want you to keep simmering, said Emery, until the Bollonais has reduced to a single molecule, one molecule, containing the most intense flavor of Bolognese the world has ever known. I kept simmering. A further 30 hours. By now the pan was dry. The pan was screaming.

I was screaming. Emery was screaming. Jimmy Carr was telling someone that they looked like a monkey and that he'd had sex with their mother at Chester Zoo. Simmer! Simmer! Simmer! Chanted Emery, pounding the back of a frying pan with a spoon. Eventually, there was nothing left. No sauce.

No liquid, just a dark red stain permanently bonded to the base of the pan. Emery dipped his hand in. The scalding pan hissing as his finger hit the hot metal. But somehow he didn't flinch. He touched it to his tongue. He closed his eyes. He smiled. And then he shot himself and his head exploded.

When you boil the hand, you cook the internal hand. Beef. A big thanks to Raymond Cortley for that interview. And if you'd like to support his charity, Bolognau, you could, of course, boil your hand, or you could go to their website, bologno.net, where you can donate money. You can also buy tickets to their upcoming fundraising ball, which is taking place at the Mongolia, Golf Hotel and Golf Course and Golf Course. And catering that fundraiser is none other than celebrity chef, Cliff Trent Roberts. Hello, my name is Cliff Trent Roberts and I am a celebrity chef.

Cliff, thanks for talking with me today. It's great to talk to you. Obviously, everyone will know who you are. Most famous, of course, for your relationship with Princess Diana and then later relationship with Princess Anne and then Prince Edward. Yes, but I don't like to be sort of pigeonholed by those things. I am acutely aware.

We've focused groups it and we've done some polls and I mean, it's what people associate me with. we've done very well Annie and I and Ted as I call them privately in blocking a couple of documentaries that people are trying to release so I'm hoping to continue to block them

at least until I'm at least until I'm dead but it is an expensive process but that's why I'm thrilled that I mean as a celebrity chef I am able to you know I am able to defend myself in such a way and I'm thriving

and I think a wonderful time you know, recently I took over the Huff and Milk Bandit pub just outside of Cleethorps and, well, put it this way. I'm not saying that Michela haven't been in touch about a star or two,

but I'm not saying they have. So, Cliff, the reason I'm talking with you today is that you've been commissioned by the charity Bolognau to provide the food for the upcoming Bollogneau fundraising charity Ball. Yes. And the big news really is that you have

promised that every element of the menu, including condiments, including seasoning, down to that level, will be boiled at a rolling boil. Is that correct? A rolling boil, a hard, fast, aggressive boil. Absolutely. There won't be a simmer in sight. No, I mean, you'll be able to hear it from miles off. Right. And we've gone, one better than that, we've employed a team of culinary scientists, and we've even dug a pit out underneath the venue. Well, a deep trench, really, which means that we're able to prepare the food under sea level, which means that the boiling point is actually going to be even higher than usual. So the temperatures are going to be hot, hot, hot, and it's going to be fast and aggressive,

the British way. I can't wait. I'm picking up from you a bit of excitement. It sounds like this is a great fit, you and Bolognau. Is there cause something that chimes with your cooking philosophy, the idea that's simmering, is something that isn't for us, Brits. I was absolutely thrilled, particularly in this time when it's so difficult to say anything, to hear someone actually come out and say, hang on, this is not the British way of preparing food. We have always prepared food fast. We've prepared it in such a way that it is reasonably safe to eat, and that is what is important.

It's got to be safe and hot, and let's not make a fuss, shall we? Okay. So in your restaurants, I don't know whether you are. actually serve spaghetti bolognese, but were you to make one, how quickly could you put one of those out? At the Huffund and Milk Bandit, we are very seasonal and we are very organic after a fashion. For example, last month, we did a cintz-based week just because there had been quite a serious accident at a veterinary practice down the roads. And what was usable could only be used as mints. But yes, I believe you should be able to prepare a perfectly edible spaghetti bolognese in under seven minutes.

I mean, I would completely forgive a student for taking 30, if they're getting to grips with it, a fully grown adult. If it's more than 20 minutes, then what are you doing? Come on. What do you say when people would come back to that idea and say that by simmering a bolognaise over a number of hours, you would increase the depth of flavor? That's a phrase we hear quite a lot. What do you make of that? Pompestosh. And I don't want to use offensive language on this, but I would call it European. Pardon me.

Yeah. It's signalling something else. It's saying we are able to enjoy subtle flavors because we have passable dentition. And our gums and tongues are free of ulcers. Well, I'm afraid that's not what it's like in England, sir. Okay, well, it's been great to talk to you. thank you. Let's just finish off by going through the menu for the charity ball. I think

tickets are still available if people want to buy one. It's a mere £350 per person. Amazingly, yes. With the chance to meet Prince Edward, I don't know whether you can... It seems strange to me that on the poster it says the chance. Does that mean he will definitely be there? Well, there is always the chance, isn't it?

That's the lovely thing about the laws of chance. And it's in a great cause. So really, that poster could say it's not impossible that you'll meet Prince Edward. Would that be more... As it did. I mean, there have been several drafts, absolutely. And I would stand by either of those claims. Okay. Well, let's talk about the menu. So what are we starting with? Okay, well, obviously you want something light at the beginning. So we've gone for what I call a fast-boiled cow's egg. Now, of course, it's not actually an egg, but it does, it resembles

an egg and that's down to my number two in the kitchen, Gillian who has been working me for a long time and her, I mean, her hands are like steel girders. It is quite, I mean, she can touch anything at any temperature. I mean, she's at the point now where she just pulls the meat out of the vat

with her bare hands, molds it into egg shape, and it sounds counterintuitive because it's actually from a sort of series of offcuts and bits and bobs of other sections. Oh, okay, because I was very sure you were talking about the testicles of a bone find. Ah, no, no, no.

Well, people do think that, think that indeed. But no, we, we call that a scrambled agassie. But, no, the, the cow's egg is, it's like a hint of what's to come. There's a little bit of flavour from each of the subsequent

dishes, but in a beautifully presented as if a cow has laid an egg on a bed of, a little plate on a bed of what looks like, you know, grass from a meadow. Well, well, it's grass, yeah. But boiled.

Boiled grass, yes. Okay, well, that sounds brilliant. A great way to start off a lovely boiled meal. Obviously, the main course is the main event. What are we talking? This might cause a bit of chatter, but that's deliberate, because the word salad does appear. Now, I've done that, it's a bit naughty of me.

Boiled salad. Because people see salad and they think, well, that's not a main course. And they're right, of course. But what it actually is, it's a boiled beef bacon salad. Right. So there's very little,

in the way of greens, but we take beef strips from different sections and from different breeds, and we boil them all, we boil them fast, we boil them hard, and then owing to the boiling process, particularly because some of the meats have, well, turned, I suppose, it will be the lay speak for it, some of them have got quite a greenish hue, which can give the appearance of a other salad with the eye of faith. But that's the brilliant thing, isn't it, about a really hard, hot boil, especially a boil happening below sea level, you can be consuming that meat that some people would be thinking is a bit past its best, a bit off. Once you boil it at that kind of temperature, it doesn't really matter, does it? There is no danger. Danger does not exist after boiling.

Very good. And then obviously we move on to the dessert. Yes. Well, I'm very, very excited about this because this is a new creation of mine that I've been working on for a very, very, very long time. Indeed. It's a boiled Aberdeen cheesecake. Now, this is a dish that you mentioned in your recent autobiography as the one that got away. Yes. You said you could imagine it, but you couldn't make it real in front of you. You struggled, but does this mean you have got there?

Yes, it first came to me in a dream on a car ferry during a very difficult few days. where I, well, I was just going to go and get some little sort of mini-biers on the cheap over in Cali. This is back in the 90s and just kept nodding off at the wrong moment. And I think I went back and forth 17 times before I finally managed to get off the ferry. Very difficult period. Difficult maritally. Well, I don't want to get too into that. Anyway, but it came to me at that point in my life that I have never quite been able to crack it. and I realized I just wasn't boiling hard enough and deep enough underground

and just that extra few feet underground is just giving me that edge to really boil in that there's as you can imagine there's a lot of lovely Aberdeen Angus sort of dairy produce which when you boil it really furiously I mean it causes the most extraordinary tangs and strains in taste it's it's very enlivening. Boiling the biscuit base is tricky. Thank goodness that's that I've got Gillian with me as my number two now because thanks to her extraordinarily thick, nerve-endingless hands. She is able to mould the biscuit within the vat.

Well, as it boils, her hands are in the boiling water. As it boils, as it boils, and because it's the point that as the biscuit reaches boiling point, not after it's bored, as that's the perfect moulding point, and she's able to mould a biscuit into something that encases the cheese element into something that resembles the face of an Aberdeen Angus Bull Patriarch. And I'm assuming, of course, that drinks wise keeping it boiled, boiled fizzy beef wine, I would imagine is being handed around. Of course, we've got something a bit of fun. It's really, it's a boiled hoof liqueur served directly out of the kettle, which we're very excited about.

And that's going directly from the kettle into the mouth or directly from the kettle into the mouth. And if you can manage to get a full pint of it, Danny Gullet, you get a hot, hot, hot, hot, hot hand job from Gilliam. Well, thank you, Cliff. Best of luck with it, and maybe I'll see you there. Just say Balogneau. Hello, I'm doing the Bolugno, Boil Your Hand Challenge,

and I nominate Anita. Hello, I'm here doing the Bollogneau Boil Your Hand Challenge, and I nominate Anita. Your Hand Challenge, and I nominate my deskmate at work, Roland. Okay. Here we go. Oh, cold water. Cold water. Oh, that hurts more.

No! Oh! Thank you for the nomination. Here we go. A big thanks to Cliff Trent Roberts for that interview. And another reminder, tickets are still available for that charity fundraising ball. So it's time for me to sign off. But before I do, it's time for me to do the Bolognau Boil Your Hand Challenge.

I've just been brought in a pan of boiling water. It's just fresh off the stove. And I would like to nominate Angela Merkel. Okay. Here we go. Ah, that's all we've got time for this month. But if you're after more beef and dairy news, get over to the website now. you'll find all the usual stuff

as well as our off-topic section oh my god which is something about Enni or I think beef out thanks to Simon Alcock Mike Wozniak Gemma Arrowsmith Sammy Dobson, Margaret K.Bahn Smith

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