Beef And Dairy Network - Episode 135 - Anthony Ravenno

Episode Date: June 28, 2026

Paul Foxcroft, Ed Jones, Tom Crowley and Linnea Sage join in this month as we hear from the UK's biggest agricultural investor.  Stock media provided by Setuniman/Pond5.com and Soundrangers/Pond5.com Music credit courtesy of epidemicsound.com: Tiny Trot / Speedy The Spider Help support this show and unlock bonus content! Become a member at https://maximumfun.org/joinbeef

In a world full of over-produced pop, auto-tuned PAP and AI Plops, one man is stripping music back to its most fundamental element. This summer, prepare your ears and your heart for the debut album from Clavicular. A compendium of the 20th century's greatest hits, reinterpreted on the most expressive weapon in the percussionist's sheath. the claves A whiter shade of pale Hotel California

the Belgian National Anthem and a haunting unaccompanied rendition of candle in the wind 1997 sit back, relax and luxuriate in the sumptuous sound

of two wooden cylinders bashing together order now and receive the Lux double CD edition, featuring Clavicular himself, reading out a legal cease and desist letter from Andrew Lloyd Webber. To order, just ring 0800 Clackett today. That's 0800 Clacket. Oh, and welcome to the Beef and Dairy Network podcast, the number one podcast for those involved, or just interested, in the production of beef animals and dairy herds. The Beef and Dairy Network podcast is the podcast companion to the Beef and Dairy Network website, as well as the printed magazine.

Brought to you by Clayvicular. And I've been listening to Clayvicular this week in the car, and I have to say it's really toe-tapping stuff. And it's not just me saying that. I actually drove past a group of teenagers hanging out at a local hip spot near me. It's a Costa coffee with a large outdoor area, where once the Costa has actually shut, they'll often gather there to fight or rut under the of cheap cider and a feeling that nothing matters. Anyway, they overheard the music coming from the windows of my high-end I-I-10, and they said, that's totally music maxing, mate. And one of them said it was fire, and another one said that it hits different. So, that double CD collection is the perfect gift for anyone of any age. Anyway, on this month's show, I spoke to Anthony Raveno.

Hello, my name is Anthony Ravenno, and I'm an investor. Anthony Ravenno, thank you for joining me. today. Obviously, a lot of our listeners will know who you are, but just to introduce you for those who don't. You're an agricultural investor. You've put investments into some of the biggest brands in agriculture today, including Mitchells, Diggery-Pigory, Riemann's Hooflacker, Peltmasters, McGoffrey's ergonomic tractor seats, Vatican beef, just to name a few. It's an amazing portfolio. Yeah, yeah. We're very proud of the work we've done. It's just a really good feeling to have an impact on the UK and international farming scene. Why is it that, you know, I think most people will be thinking, why is it the you're only in the agricultural world when you're investing?

Because obviously when we think of most investors, we're thinking tech, we're thinking finance, we're thinking those kind of slightly more perhaps sexy industries. I mean, of course, farming is a very sexy industry. But why is it the you are focused on agriculture? Well, there's two points to bring up there. One is, I mean, my system is, obviously a lot of people come to me with investment opportunities. And what I do is I flip a coin. If it comes up heads, we're good to go. And it's only ever come up heads for farming.

Oh, okay. Yeah. You might need to look into that coin maybe, because that sounds like it might be weighted slightly on once. Is it a magician's coin? No, no, it's a normal coin. Are you sure, I mean, does it glow ever? I'm just trying to work out whether it's cursed, perhaps? No, it doesn't glow.

Right. No. Right. It does, it does, so I, it does whisper. Oh. but I don't know Latin, so it's not affected me. I don't listen to it for advice, if that's the question you're asking. Well, I guess I'm interested, there's a certain perhaps lack of curiosity.

If I had a whispering coin that was speaking to me in a different language, I might try and get that translated by someone who... Well, I never got the sense it's speaking to me. I think it's just speaking. I think even in that case, I'd still probably try and find someone who could speak Latin, but we're different people, I understand that. move on from the coin. It's not, I don't know why you focus on the coin.

I have so many coins. No, I know you've got so many coins, but only one of them speaks Latin, or maybe, I don't know, do you have more than one coin that speaks a foreign language? No, only one speaks Latin. Anyway, so you're saying that the reason that you invest solely in agriculture is that a coin that may or does speak Latin, when you flip it, it tends to come up heads every time. Yeah, yeah. All the way back to my first project, which was just, really, it was.

He was investing in a bag of seeds, I suppose. Right. Just an old lady had her bag of seeds. She was trying to get some money towards planting. And, yes, she gave me the coin to help me make the decision. And that's how that began. Okay, this old woman, the woman who gave you the coin, how witchy was she? What do you mean? How much like a witch was she?

What's a witch like? Tall black cat, little black cat. Yeah. Do you know her? Oh, so she did have those attributes. Do you know Claire? No, I don't know Claire. No.

Okay, I'm going to mention the coin for the last time. I don't think that is true, but okay. Okay, but it is important that I think that, you know, I'm not an expert, but I do think that coin is cursed. Okay. I'm curious, I'm not up on curses and stuff. What would you think are indicated? Well, no, I... Well, you're the one introducing curses.

I don't know. I'm sorry, I feel like I'm saying, I'm saying, actually, I don't mean to. It's just I don't, I'm not, this isn't my area of expertise. What would qualify as curse? I do understand that. Well, I think what I'm saying is that it's not my area of expertise either.

Right. But I think even with my very, very, very shallow knowledge of curses, I can tell that's cursed. And I think most people, again, even people with no knowledge of curse, if you gave them the facts, they might say, ah, that coins cursed properly. Right.

Not necessarily a bad thing either. You've become, I believe, quite wealthy off the back of your investment in agriculture. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm doing great. Sure, but I think then the worry would be, you know, when do you have to pay the piper? You know, will... Who? That's metaphorical. I mean... Right, sorry. Often with these stories that happen with the curse, you know, you get the riches and then in return for the riches, you have to sell your soul to the devil or the witch eats your face off, those kind of things.

things. Right. Okay. I mean, I'll keep an eye out, but I can't really... Like a cock might... What? Like a cock might drop off or something. Yeah, that hasn't happened.

No, I know, because you're still... Like, in terms of the story, you're still in the bit where you're just enjoying the wealth. I genuinely, I really can't think of a... You're describing, like, a sort of narrative consequence... The sort of thing you might get in a fairy tale, except you'll... Yes. You introduce cocks. and I really can't think of anything like that happening

there's been like I'm not saying there's not we haven't got a perfect accident record on the farm or in any of the facilities you know there are there are mishaps yeah I'm just thinking about that because you mentioned faces coming off earlier on there's a lot of people a lot of our staff lose their face as part of a kind of industrial accident type situation

yeah yeah but I mean there's always risks in farming you know it's it can be a it's quite a high risk career because of the amount of machinery and so on involved. I mean, now I think about it, we do have quite a high percentage of the accidents are face removal. Okay.

Well, I'm happy to move on from the coin now, if you are. I'm just, I'm just interested in your experience, what percentage of farm injuries would you expect to involve face removal? Oh, I mean, I don't have the kind of... Just top of your head. Yeah. Well, I would guess less than 1%. Right, so.

Pretty rare, I'd say. So you think 80%'s high? Yeah, yeah, that's high. Right. It's going to make a quick note. Can I just ask on the numbers? I know you've got your paperwork in front of you. You can tell me, is that 80% of injuries involve removal of the face,

or is that 80% of your staff have had their face removed during an injury? Both. Which is odd, because some of them are clerical. Next, I spoke to Anthony about his farm. after 20 years as an agricultural investor. Three years ago, he put his money where his mouth is. Oh, sorry, I will actually take this. This is my new life coach, Olli, who honestly is changing my life.

It's amazing. Hi, hi. Yes, my guy. How are you? Hey, Olly. I've been meaning to ring you, actually. I'm actually really excited. Yep. Sorry, why? You know, in our most recent Be It, Believe It, Achieve it session, we were talking about how I had those dreams

that I felt unfulfilled and that I needed to make steps to go towards it. Sorry, I'm rambling now. What I've actually done is I've actually put together an advert for clavicular. Okay, what is, sorry, what is that, my dude? Clavicular? Yep. Yeah, my clave-only music act. We talked about it in the last session.

Yes, yes, yes, my man, this is ringing a lot of bells. Look, I'm thrilled for you. That's really, that's great progress, man. But listen, do you have 500 pounds I can borrow? Sorry, do you ask, 500 pounds? Yeah, man, it's my sister, dude. She's broken her arm. Right. Why do you eat the £500? Why? It's... The doctors have said that they can do this kind of pioneering treatment on it

so that it goes back to normal in four hours, but it, yeah, it costs £500. Sorry, the doctors say they can put her arm back to normal from having broken it in four hours? 100%, man, 100%. But the thing is, right, she really needs it by tomorrow. because she's actually agreed to she's agreed to lift something heavy for my step-mom. Okay, I mean, can't somebody else lift,

could you go around and lift this thing for her? Dude, I wish I could, dude. See, the thing is I've also broken my arm. Have you? Look, dude, do you want to be progressing on the path of life that you want to be progressing on or do you want to be stuck in the Maya where you are at the minute?

No, it's a good It's a good point I mean I have given quite a lot of money already Uh huh You know I'm surprised you don't have 500 pounds at your own disposal

Given the amounts I've given you With the past Look dude I appreciate that And I Um Huh There's

Sorry one second My dude Huh Not now Not now Not now Sorry dude Um

Look I'm gonna have to wrap this up Yeah But let me Just let me know on that when it's going to be sent, and then we should be good as gold, my dude. Sorry about that. So, as I was saying, Anthony now has his own farm, and it's actually Britain's biggest.

Technically, the award is longest farm. Oh. We're not technically the biggest, but we are the longest. Okay. What kind of shape are we talking about here? It's a very acute Osloose-Lis triangle. Okay, I'm having a hard time picturing that, I'm afraid. like a wizard's hat

but one that is significantly taller than a wizard Okay so it's I see so it's quite steep The hat's quite steep and long So maybe less wizard and more kind of damsel At a medieval jousting event You know with the bit of

Sort of silk came off the top Yeah Yeah That's quite an unusual shape for thumb So how tall is the hat So to speak Well the base of it is about 18 furlongs, what's that,

about two, two and a half miles, and the length, the other two sides of the triangle are about 25,000 furlongs. The claves, that magical instrument with the unforgettable sound. Clavicular plays the world's most beautiful melodies with the unmistakably rich timbre

of wood on another bit of wood. Relax as clavicular sweeps you away to a world of tranquil beauty. Order now and receive the Deluxe Double CD edition, which features five original compositions by Clavicular himself. Mersweet Lil Baby Girl Oh, My Sweet Baby, My Sweetums, Oh My Sweetest. Baby Sweetems Mesweet. This momentous tapestry of clacking can be yours for just £49.

Now, just to change the subject for a moment, I hope you don't mind, Anthony. I don't know if you... I don't know, you know, you know, where you are with the modern music scene. But I guess, like everyone, you like to listen to music in your spare time, right? Yeah.

Okay. What kind of thing you went to? sort of early 2000s orchestral speed metal. Anything with two bass drums and a harpsichord, really. What if I was to tell you that you could listen to some of the biggest hits of the 20th century played only on the claves? You're an investor, right? So not only do you have your huge conical-shaped farm,

you also invest in other businesses, right? And I just happened to have a nascent business of my own, selling records. It's called clavicular. right and I play clave renditions of popular songs and I think it could be massive

and I think you want to get in on the ground floor okay I mean my instincts are top of my heads no but only because it seems like a bad idea

so okay but as an invest hang on hang on let me get a cling oh sure okay just before you flip it Anthony is it is it making any kind of sound

yeah it's whispering Okay, so what does it? Heads, you do invest? Yeah, heads are details I don't. Okay, and historically, it always says yes to an agricultural project. Yes. Yeah, but it always says no to a non-agricultural project. Not always.

Okay. But predominantly. So I've got a chance? Yeah. Okay. Tails. So that's a no. Now, it's not often that I get the chance to speak to a top investor.

So I... Oh, I... Oh, hang on. It's my life coach again. Sorry. Hi, Olly. How's the arm? The arm? Yeah, you've broken your arm. Yes, absolutely, my dude. Look, I've been going through my online banking app, and I can see here, yeah, I'm sorry, dude.

You've underpaid me by 500 pounds. Oh, no, I don't think so. I mean, for the sessions we've been doing. Yes, I'm afraid so, man. Let me just see what's happened here. So, that, that's, I've already paid, I got, I've already paid, I gave you £5,000. Yes, but that was, yes, I'm just checking your account now. It looks like that was just to cover the live your dream for you package. Is that right? Yeah, I mean, that's the one I'm on. Yeah, so what I've done and look, this is, I hold my hands up here, brother, this is on me. But I've only built you for the no strife life knife package.

No, I don't think, I don't think so, because when I was looking at the website and we were talking about what options I should go for, we were talking about how I should actually graduate. onto the No Strive Life Knife package, right? Okay. Because you said I wasn't ready for it, and then eventually I'll get there to the high-five the universe with your golden hands package, but I'm...

Look, and honestly, dude, no one wants you more on the high-five-the-universe with your golden hands package, and I do, you know that about me, but I think the problem is there's still very much a shortfall here. Do you understand? Can I just say,

I do think I'm ready for that level actually already? Okay, sorry, why? Because I've already manifested my destiny, you know, with clavicular. Huh? With clavit. I've made the adverts for, I've produced the album for clavicular.

Sorry, who's clavicular? I'm clavicular. What? It's my clave album. I made with my claves. What are claves? So I showed you my claves.

The couple of wooden sticks, I beat together. Yes, yes. Yes. Claves. Yes. I'm sorry, dude, yes. 100%.

100%. that's great man i'm gonna need the 500 pounds today ideally look i i'll go back through my banking up and check if you'd like me to but i'm fairly sure i paid exactly what you just really would appreciate it that just look i don't want to have any negative energy between the two of us i just think it would be great if you could just send that over we won't have a problem we can go ipso facto no problem do you want me to look at my app now i can let me look at my app dude the quickest thing is just you have my monzo now just send it to me straight away and we won't have an issue

Okay, I'm looking at it. No, I've paid the invoice. Dude, I'd really appreciate it if you could just get it over to me right now, okay? Sorry, I have paid for it. As quick as possible, ASAP, brother. I've paid what I mean. Oh, fucking hell, what do you want? They call him the man with the magic sticks. It's clavicular.

Now available for live events. Whether it's a wedding, the opening of a garden center, or an event to mark the closing down of a garden. garden centre. Claivicular can be there with his rich brand of emotional percussion, a symphony of clacking. But don't just take my word for it. Here is Alan North, who had clavicular play at his brother's birthday party. We were just having a nice family barbecue in my back garden and then this bloke rocks up with these wooden sticks and just start smacking them together and the mood in the area was just everyone was just going, who's this.

And it was so embarrassing. I didn't want to admit that I'd booked him, that this is something I'd organized. So I just had to, I lied to all my family into their faces and said I didn't know who he was. And I didn't want him to find out any difference. So I had to treat him as if he was like a home invader and grab his arm, twist it behind his back and drag him out through the side entrance and throw him into the gutter. outside the front of the house. And he looked up at me and he had this look of betrayal in his eyes as I did it.

But I just didn't care because it was so unconscionably shit. And then so just as he was about to make a move, my brother came out from the house and said, is everything okay? And I said, yes, yes. I had it all in hand. And he said, you know,

nonetheless he started just pushing me and provoking me into beating this guy up and like kick him in the ribs. And I didn't want to, but I He kept pushing me and pushing me, and he's my older brother, and it's always been a bit like that, the dynamic between us. And so I just found myself doing it. Like, I got myself angry as well at this man who I, you know, I convinced myself was a burglar, a home invader. So I just started stamping on him in the gutter, just stamping and stamping.

And then there was a clattering of his little wooden sticks rolling away down the road. And I just didn't care anymore. I just kicked and kicked and kicked him. I started stamping on his ribs. and stamping and stamping on them until they started breaking and making this like cracking noise and if anything it was a bit like he had a set of internal claves that were being played like a plink-blank

by my boot landing on his rib cage over and over and over again and it was an absolute mess down there but like when I turned back around I could see that my brother was looking at me with a look that he finally really respected me because like I say we've always had this relationship where he never quite seems satisfied with you know things I do and how I behave. But finally, it looked like he really, really truly respected me.

And, I mean, that was a real watershed moment in our relationship as adult, you know, relations and friends going forward. And so actually, I probably would book clavicular again. Book clavicular now. More after this. According to CNBC, nearly half of hiring managers say that a candidate's enthusiasm about the job is the most important thing when considering them for a role. it's not their shiny shoes. It's not their nice hat. Although I do think you can certainly make an impression with a hat. Whether it's a good impression and it's the one you want to make, that's up to you, I'm afraid. Well, if you need to hire for your business, how can you separate the candidates who are

really excited about your opportunity from the ones that are just me? Well, ZipRecruiter. ZipRecruiter has a new feature that quickly lets you see the most interested qualified candidates first, so you meet the right people faster. And now you can try it for free at ZipRecruiter.com Beef. ZipRecruiter's new feature puts the most interested qualified candidates at the top of your list. Use ZipRecruiter and find enthusiastic talent fast. Four out of five employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate within the first day. And now you can try it for free at ZipRecruiter.com slash beef. That's ziprecruiter. Meet your match on ZipRecruiter. Okay, moving on from investing. Yeah. Sure, maybe you don't invest in clavicular, right? Maybe I don't need the investment

because I've got all the investment I need, which is my own talent, my own kind of drive. Yep. Right? But maybe what you need, maybe you're getting married soon. Nope.

And you need someone to play the claves at the ceremony. I'm not, I'm not a clave guy, really. We do have quite a lot of, there are quite a lot of funerals on the, well not on the farm but around the farm. I'm assuming it's

sort of casket closed. Why? Well, because they've had their face ripped off. No, not them. Just villages. There's been a tremendous, what do you call it, upsurge of people being pecked to death by crows

in the area and so yeah. Well, okay, that's interesting. So imagine the funeral of a local villager, a well-loved baker man. Yeah, no one likes the baker. Sure. Lives in a village next

to your huge, very long farm. I mean, to be fair, there's quite a few villages next to it. It is long. Okay, so we imagine that there's a baker who lives nearby. His eyes are pecked out by crows. He sadly passes on. Imagine the sort of haunting,

emotionally raw sound of the claves. Again, no. Now, the reason that Anthony agreed to come on the show was to promote his new scheme to encourage young people. Ah, it's Olly. May, mate. Hey, how's it going, dude? Hey, Olly, are you okay? Yeah, good, man. Can you give me a lift to the airport? Ollie, I don't know what's going on today. Listen, you know in the last session we talked a bit about setting boundaries and how that was very positive. Yeah, 100%, bro, 100%. Right, and how that was very positive for me to be able to set them. Yeah, it said, mate, absolutely, bro.

Okay, well, I'm setting that boundary, I think, today, which is I'm not going to take you to the airport. Okay, that's cool, man. I just, can you just take me to Amsterdam Airport? Just need to get there as soon as possible, but the only thing is we cannot go through any border control, okay? Okay, Oli, I'm not going to take you to Amsterdam Airport. Okay. I don't know how mad that sounds to you saying it, but do you hearing it back? Do you see how mad that sounds like? Look, obviously self-reflection is a very, very important part of the work that you and I have been doing over the

over the last couple of months, but I think I can understand. Just one last question for me, dude. Is there any way that you that you would be able to take me to Amsterdam Airport? No. Okay, that's fine. And also, how does someone get to Amsterdam Airport

without going through border control? This is why I'm asking you! Sorry, I'm literally in the middle of my job. I'm making a podcast. We talked about the podcast I make. Forget it, forget it, forget it, forget it. Forget it. Now, the reason that Anthony agreed to come on the show was to promote his new scheme

to encourage young people into farming, which he's calling Sprouts. With a Z. Spurt with a Z. Yeah, maybe you could tell us a bit about that. Your podcast is well enmeshed in UK farming culture, and you'll be well aware that statistically farmers are getting older because they exist in many a time. Not me, but I'm the same age as I was 10, 15 years. ago, but the industry as a whole is aging. Sorry. Did your age stop around the time that you

got the coin? Yeah, give or take. But the industry as a whole is aging and, you know, farming is to a degree a young person's game. So we need a new, we need a new crop of farmers to sort of step into the roles as people in the industry retire or are pecked at death by crows or in the case of a local priest. It just explode when they step in. on our land. Right. So Sprouts is really about incentivizing the youth

to engage with farming as an activity and to consider farming as a viable and sustainable option for their livelihood as they move forwards. And you've put your own money on the line here. You're saying that you will put investment into young people for them. What's the idea?

They will buy their own land? They will buy their own equipment. What do you want them to do with the money once they get it? You've hit the nail right on the face. that they would hopefully invest in a, with our assistance, invested a small, manageable area of farmland

that they would farm themselves, and then as they gain more experience and skills, they'll have the opportunity to buy extra fields, barns, and some of the cooler machinery that we have, like a mecca plough, a zaltzpan drill, a set of five tractors that combine to form a bigger tractor, and that can be used to fight off large predators.

That five tractors that comes together to make one sort of megatractor, that's a big old thing. What kind of predators is that being used to ward off? Have you got one on your farm? Yeah, yeah, yeah, we've got a tractor sort, and we're meeting that he's not for quite a while. I mean, it's a broad church of predators, everything from foxes through to griffons

and a green dragon that's been repeatedly harassing the farm and neighboring areas for some time. The staff have nicknamed it Trogdor. Gosh. You know, it's not just the tractor sort. But there's also a, one of us all volunteered

to have a gem implanted in his chest. And so he's able to, anytime other than the harvest, invoke the power of the moon to sort of exponentially increase in size to fight off predators. So, yeah, Derek's been doing that for a while. He can't sleep.

So if young people are listening and do want to put their hat in the ring for Sprouts with a Z to get some of that investment to set up their own farm, how would they go about doing that? Oh, easiest way to do it is have a look at a website. That's www.spouts with a Z dot farm. And that, to be clear, that is S-P-R-O-T-S-W-I-T-H-A-Z. Now, I'm sorry, Z, it's not the letter Z, it's ZED. Yes, okay. I've got to remember that.

Yeah. All right, before we wrap up, I mean, I'm maybe being a bit tricky here. Yep. In terms of you being an investor and me being a kind of burgeoning business person, I've been thinking, and please hear me out. Yeah. I've been thinking about a kid's toy in the Laboooooo space. Right.

they're called little fuggly bastards but I think kids will probably end up called them little fugglies they're kind of like a slightly gross little furry creature I think they're going to be huge do you want to invest maybe like

just like a million pounds maybe or I'm going to pull you up on three things one is your USP is they're like another product yeah but they're like Lubbuboos and the booboos are huge yes two fugglies already exist What do you mean?

There is already a sort of gross kids' toy line of ugly little dolls called fugglies or fugglers maybe. Yeah, but this is Lil fuggly bastards. Yeah. The key you're saying the market name you're hoping for is fugglies or Lil fugglers or something like that. That is already a thing. This product already exists. No, but okay, can I just pick you up on this? Yeah.

A, they're called little fuggly bastards. Right. Right. I just think kids will probably end up calling them little fugglies, right? Yeah. But strictly speaking, they're called Little Fugly Bastards. And all you're telling me is that I've built this business idea on solid ground, because we've already got a successful business in the boo-boos, and if you're right... No, but this is like me going to you.

You're like, do you want to invest in an idea I've had for it? It's called Dars, and it's like a horseless carriage you can drive around. Sounds like a good idea. It is a good... It's cars, right? And I've changed the name slightly. Yeah. Right?

But it's already a thing. But cars are really a really... really popular, so you're going to be doing really well with Dars. No. Can I finish the pitch? You know, I've already invested in one of your businesses, right? Yeah, we had a bit of money. The Beef and Dairy Network had some money from you, yeah.

Thank you for that. Have you made any money yet? Well, yes. You haven't necessarily seen any of it. I know. I won't lie. I originally thought that was what this phone call was be about. Because we had to convert

a lot of that money into grain to pay off our grain debts. Yeah. We've all got, we've all got grain debts. We've been slowly paying off the actor Ted Danson who lent us all that grain, and I would like to thank you for doing that, and we are now on a sound of financial footing, and we

look, I was talking to our accountant yesterday, and he thinks we might be able to start paying you back in 150 years. That's too long. Okay, how about this? double down, right? Put a million into Lil Fugly Bastards. You'll get more back than you were ever going to get back from the podcast.

Have you made one? Do you have a prototype you can show me? I've got a drawing. Okay. Well, I was going to do a drawing. Right. Describe the drawing that you want to do. So, like, imagine a Laboooo. Yeah. Then we get a lawyer to just change it enough that it's no longer like trademark infringement.

Right. So I'm like it's got a really long nose or a penis. Yeah, sure. Okay, so it's a booboo with a penis and it's a little fuggly bastard. Right. Or like, I think the kids will call them little fugglies. I feel like I was using hyperbole when I said it's got a penis. And I feel like you've really leapt on that idea.

I was using that as a sort of illustratively bad idea. And it really feels like you liked it. I don't think these should be marketing children's toys with a swear word in the name and them having cocks Okay Yeah I'm Give me a sec, hang on

It is tails, I'm afraid And it's bleeding A big thanks to Anthony Raveno for that interview I don't know if I should answer this to be honest It's, yeah, it's Ollie Hey my dude Listen I just I just wanted to check in about earlier man That that wasn't cool bro

And look I hold my hands up You know I'm a passionate guy But I think You know the the stresses of modern day travel right They can really get to you So I'm sorry for flying off the handle back then No that's okay I mean A few things I guess like

Have you actually broken your arm I wasn't really sure what was real and do you know what I mean it all felt a bit kind of far-fetched sorry to say that 100% no and again I appreciate that thank you for your honesty but but have you broken your arm yeah 100% right I really appreciate that let's move on maybe I was kind of confused by a lot of what you were saying but if you're happy like I'm happy to keep going if you are like with the process I think you know what are we always talking about you and I let's push forward

in the things that we want to push forward with together okay well I mean now I've got you I have actually had a little idea. I mean, this is something that I've had under my hat for a while, but it feels like, I mean, I mentioned it today to one of the guests, and it could be really big, I think. Hey, lay it on me, man. Okay, so I've had an idea for a new kids toy. It's in the Luboooooo space. Great. They're called Lil Fugly Bastards. Lil Fugly Bastards. Yeah, and I think it could be huge. I mean, I think the kids will probably end up calling them Lil Fugly's, but I think, like, the brand name is Lil Fugly Bastards. Dude, I love it. I love it already. Yeah? I really love it, dude. And, you know, what am I here for? I'm here to help you achieve your dream.

I'm so glad you like it. It's a million percent. I think the only thing for me is that in order for a project like this, as exciting as this, to get my full attention right, I am going to need you to sign up to the quantum tier. Oh, okay. I don't remember the quantum tier. Is that on the website? It's a new tier. Essentially, it gives you access to my new course. It's called Enter. the wealth vortex manifest your own castle of emeralds and that sounds good actually you are gonna need that right and i definitely need that do you think for me to yeah 100% man i i can't see another way that it could work without it but the good news is to sign up it's only 500 pounds uh in cash um the best way to

get that over to me is actually to deliver it to a place called amsterdam airport which is in Amsterdam. And ideally this afternoon, and as part of that, if you have it on you, bro, like a, like a large and intimidating dog. Sorry, did you say dog? Yeah, just like a large and intimidating dog, but also very much the 500 pounds. Are you totally sure that I need to be... Fonkies your fucking fence. Alley! Hully! Watch out. It's the new toy that's just a little bit fuggly. Yay! Little fugly bastards! I call mine, Lil Fugly.

Take your little Fugly bastards wherever you go. They're your Fugly little friend. He smells like B. Yes, he does. Little Fugly bastards. Collect them all, if you dare. I love you, little Fugly. His eyes are so intense.

No Fugly. Stop it. You bastard. You Fugly bastards! Each sold separately some assembly required purchase of a little Fugly Baster. bind your child to an undending contract that may impact their desire to go to college. Batteries not included. He's so fagly! So that's all we've got time for this month.

But if you're after more beef and dairy news, get over to the website now, where you'll find all the usual stuff, as well as our off-topic section, where this month we run down the top ten, where this month we run down a top ten of the world's most disappointing breads. So, until next time, beef out. Thanks to Paul Foxcroft, Ed Jones, Tom Crowley, and Linnea Sage. Hey, Max Fun listeners, it's me, Jackie Cachian. I have a podcast with Lori Kilmartin. Say hi, hi, Lori.

Hi, Jacqueline. Hi, Max Fun listeners. But I'm very formal. We have a podcast and it's about stand-of-comity and how much we love it and how much we dislike some of it. So listen to that podcast. It's called The Jackie and Laurie Show. We drop new episodes every Wednesday that gives us plenty of time. to decompress from our comedy weekends and discuss things with sane level heads. No, it doesn't. If you are a woman our age or a man our age, or you know what, any person of any age,

I think you'll enjoy your question. Jackie and Laurie Show on maximum fun.org. Bye. Are you a celebrity? Are you searching for meaning, connection, and a little levity these days? Hi, Uncle Mel Anjiani, actor, writer, and yes, a celebrity too. And I've got four words for you. Bullseye with Jesse Thorn.

Are you tired of junkets? Red carpets, sick of the endless spicy snacks you have to eat? Do you want to connect with someone who gets your work and laugh with you a little? Join me, Andre 3000, Tom Hanks, Tina Faye, and many more and become a guest on Bullseye with Jesse Thorne. From NPR and Maximum Fun. Maximum Fun, a worker-owned network of artists, own shows supported directly by you