Beef And Dairy Network - Episode 24 - Wendy Axminster

Episode Date: June 20, 2017

Katy Wix joins in for this episode in which we speak to Wendy Axminster who is starring a new big budget stage musical.   We also have details of a sweeping product recall from Mitchell's.   By Benjamin Partridge, Katy Wix and Dave Cribb.   Stock media provided by Setuniman/Pond5.com and Soundrangers/Pond5.com

Some of this episode was recorded in the pod at White City Place. Also, stick around until after the credits at the end for news of a new live show. Steelhoof Deluxe is the number one choice for enhancing the hooves of meters and milkers, and also security guard cattle. With a Steelhoof hoof, they'll kick a burglar's face clean off. For 10% off your next order, turn your face to the sky and sing. Hello, and welcome to the Beef and Dairy Network podcast. The number one podcast for those involved, or just interested, in the production of beef animals and dairy herds. The Beef and Dairy Network podcast is the podcast companion to the Beef and Dairy Network website and printed magazine, brought to you by Steel Hoof Deluxe.

And it's true what they say in their advert. Our security cow actually intercepted an attempted burglary this week, and her hooves were so strong that she kicked the intruder's face all the way off. Now his head looks like a featureless meatball, but with hair. Later, we have information about a sweeping product recall. But first, this month saw the opening of a new musical on London's glitzy West End. Grease the Musical is written by Philip Rosington, the CEO of gigantic yoghurt conglomerate Rosington's.

The musical tells the story of two warring Greek yoghurt-making families set against the backdrop of the recent Greek financial crisis. With its all-star cast and music written by a leading yoghurt executive, the production has been greeted with huge surprise by both the theatre and dairy industries. Most surprising of all, the lead role, Konstantina, is played by Wendy Axminster, the former child star best known as the Rosenthal's gooseberry girl, after she played that role in a series of adverts for the yoghurt giants throughout the early 1990s. When we spoke to her here on the podcast last year,

she was mounting a campaign against Rosenthal's, citing poor treatment by the company when she was a child. I have decided to give up all yoghurt, complete yoghurt ban, for a full week. Her much-publicised yoghurt fast brought the campaign to the attention of the world's media, and soon the issue was in court. After a long trial, Rosenthal settled out of court, and instead of a monetary payout, gave Wendy the opportunity to star in their upcoming musical. I started by asking Wendy to describe the show. Well, it's called Grease, brackets the musical,

which I see in hindsight has confused some people. And I don't I honestly don't know if that's deliberate on the part of Philip Rosenthal, who did the book lyrics, choreography and costumes for the show. That's the CEO of Rosenthal's. That's right. Lord Rosenthal's son. Some people have come expecting Grease, the other musical about teenagers in a high school in America. Some of the brighter audience members catch on pretty soon that it's

not that. Some others it takes a long time they'll sit for the first hour and slowly drift away when they realise it's not Greece, the high school musical. And what it's about is contemporary Greek society really. That's right it's about is contemporary Greek society, really. That's right.

It's really about two warring families who have made yogurt for years in Greece. John Travolta plays my father, the yogurt magnate, Phidias. And of course, that's just more confusing for the people who came expecting to see Greece, the musical. Yeah, and even he hadn't actually made that connection himself. I said it to him two nights ago, and he said,

I'd never, because they're spelt differently, I never thought that they made the same sound. So yes, it's set in a village in Greece, and it's about these two warring families that make Greek yogurt and have been for years, but it's just referred to as yogurt in greece and it's really about how that that brought about the the financial crisis of a sort of trade deficit they couldn't it's their biggest export is greek yogurt and they couldn't make enough they just couldn't make enough yogurt to keep up with demands what you see quite clearly in the musical is and i thought it did a very good job of this is it shows that in a way they both couldn't make enough but also they were making far too

much at the same time yes exactly how are you enjoying the show you've been going for how long are you in your second week yes that's right um yeah we opened two weeks ago it's been an absolute joy from start to finish it's a wonderful. Great to be treading the boards again. Yeah, it's a really epic, exciting show and an amazing cast. Julie Andrews, which is such an honour. She can't sing because she has nodules. So her microphone is rubber, is fake. So when I went to the show last night,

when I saw Julie Andrews open her mouth and she was singing the big chorus, what was that sound then? I think that's a tape. Right. Yeah, no, her microphone's not, it's like loo rolls and things stuck together. Yeah. She can't have a real mic. She's got nodules. It's a good cast though. You've got Julie Andrews. Yes.

Jack Black. It's a good cast, though. You've got Julie Andrews. Yes. Jack Black. Yes, he's only turned up once. He doesn't like to do the show, but he's great fun. I think he just doesn't enjoy it, but he doesn't want to drop out.

So, you know, he's there. His name's still on the poster. But Danny DeVito is his understudy. So he does the show as Jack Black. Because I didn't realise last night that it wasn't Jack Black. Yes. But now thinking about it, yeah, it was quite obviously Danny DeVito. Different voice, yeah.

Yeah. So that's quite a bold move. It's strange in a way, though. You might argue that Danny DeVito is actually more famous than Jack Black. Not amongst millennials, apparently. Right. So that's the reason for that. That's just the beginning of the cast.

You've also got Oprah's sister sister that's right yeah um yeah her acting's all absolute shit she can't act but she's a great support you know great cast member um and then of course the the big draw i think for most people les cheese yeah les cheese i mean what an honor it's really strange to meet your heroes from your from your childhood. There's a sadness, though, isn't there? Yes. Because he's not performing alongside Sid Onion. Yeah, no, absolutely.

Yeah, Sid, who's... What happened to Sid? Is he... He's in prison in Turkey. That's right, yeah, yeah. Yeah, Les is great fun. He plays this sort of bumbling manservant. He comes on at the beginning with his

bum hanging out and he's painted it red as a sort of tribute to traditional greek theater and it's hilarious you know to see this big red ass coming out on stage every night it's really funny and that the joke is that he keeps stealing the bits of yogurt. But sadly, what we didn't really notice what was happening is that he was, he's very method and he was eating a lot of yogurt during rehearsal. And then, of course, in the breaks, because Rosenthal's would lay on a yogurt buffet for us most evenings and at lunch.

And he's dry, he hasn't drunk in years, so he was drinking drinking knocking back yogurt drinks um so that all adds up and then on opening night he had um a double heart attack two simultaneous heart attacks at once so he what started having one heart attack and then immediately had another heart attack at the same time the left side of his heart had a heart attack and then the right one joined in, which I didn't know was medically possible. And that's just because of the sheer volume of yoghurt that he'd been eating?

Yes, exactly. I think the problem with Les is that every time he had more yoghurt it would get such a big laugh, he couldn't stop. So he was like in a sort of Faustian pact with yoghurt? With the audience, yeah, with the audience yeah with the yogurt he's so good at eating yogurt no one does it like him he's the master he's so funny because he did that famous sketch in the 80s with him in pele sat on the wall eating yogurt that's on every christmas and it's part of our cultural history so the audience want to see it don't they yeah

exactly they're there to see the yoghurt eating routine and he can't not do it. Danny DeVito is also doing his part now in the run. So he's having to learn all the yoghurt eating skills. Will those be okay? I think he'll be fine. I think they're still pumping it out of him. I think it will take a long time.

I think they're trying to put the blood back in and get rid of the yoghurt. More from that interview after this product recall. If, in the last six months, you've bought any of the following products from Mitchell's, they should be returned for your safety and the safety of your staff and beasts. Catalogue item number 47884, Deluxe Horn Sheath. Catalogue item number 49409, Hand-stitched premium insemination mitt. Catalogue item number 49799, the pretty girl posing sash. Catalogue item number 49821, Prestige Reign's chrome finish

milking restraint hoop. Catalogue item number 52001, the Hellfire RX anti-stampede rifle. All of these products contain a compound J573 that, subsequent to their production, has been shown to cause the following symptoms in some cattle. Dry eyes, nasal discharge, ambulatory problems, a higher consciousness, an awareness of the concept of justice, a sense that change is needed on a societal level, and enemy feelings. If you've bought any of these items, please send them back to Mitchells.

The postal address is Mitchells Farm Supplies, the old Pellet Mill, the old Pellet Mill Road, Pellet Town, Pellet County, Kentucky, USA. And remember, if it's not Mitchells, get back in the truck. USA. And remember, if it's not Mitchell's, get back in the truck. But not the 2017 Roadmaster 400, catalogue item number 56223. If you have one of those, that must also be returned. Now back to our big interview with Wendy Axminster. I came to see the show last night, and I know it's probably rude to tell a guest that you haven't enjoyed their work. But I have to say, it was a total shit show.

Well, what I would say to that is you try doing it. It's really, it's not easy. Do the audience, do the public really want or need a musical about the Greek financial crash? I mean, really, to me, it's a love story. And the yogurt sort of provides a kind of giant, big sticky backdrop to the whole thing. Now, I don't want to give away the plot. And to be honest, I don't think I could

because I found the whole thing very hard to follow. As best as I could make out, it starts in the mountain village in Greece, which you mentioned. That's right, yes. And then the news of the financial crisis arrives and then the yoghurt processing centre where your character

Konstantina works. That's right, yes. She arrives on a donkey in Act 2. Yogurt Processing Centre Where we turn milk into a more solid milk Yogurt Processing Centre Where what we make is yoghurt and friendship Yogurt Processing Centre So when she arrives, she wants to get a job at the yoghurt processing plant like all the other people in the area,

but it is under threat of closure because of the financial crisis at which point your character starts smuggling yogurt to the nazis yes that is actually um a dream sequence when i dance with the giant milk cartons who are wearing the nazi armbands that, and the xylophone signals it's happening in her head. So I think that's why people were confused about the Nazis. So she hadn't gone back in time to smuggle yogurt through time? She'd gone back in time in her sleep. But, okay, okay. I found that bit quite hard to process.

And then soon after that, as you say, there's the xylophone. It's about half way through the first half, there's a 15-minute xylophone solo. Yeah, I mean, that really is to highlight how long it takes to make yogurt. That 15-minute is very slow, boring. When it's homogenizing for 15 minutes, it's a really key part of making Greek yogurt, so that's why that happens. The only reason I knew it was 15 minutes long is because I looked at my watch if I didn't have a time piece to look at I would have said that you know if I'd had to guess I would have said it lasted two or three hours really that's

meant to be um yes sort of out of respect for yogurt makers and how long it takes for them to to cultivate yogurt out of milk I was starting to make up my mind about the show at that point right oh that's interesting and then there's this whole section about a young boy who doesn't want to work at the yogurt processing center yeah and instead wants to be a ballet dancer yeah yeah now i'm sure the listeners at home will be thinking the same thing that i thought right that's almost identical to the the plot of billy elliott what's that that's a very famous british musical about a boy who i've never heard of it right i've never heard of it um no one's ever made that comparison certainly to be honest that for me was just the beginning of what i would say is quite a lot of

plagiarism let's call it call a spade a spade now after the billy elliott storyline i was thinking okay maybe that's just a coincidence and then a lion arrives he talks about how he wants to become the king the lion king of greece that's right yeah there's the whole musical bit where he starts singing the song i just can't wait to be king i mean that was lifted wholesale from elton john's original music for the lion king but what But what Philip has done quite cleverly, he's changed every fourth note, which is legally fine, apparently. And then, oh God, then there's the long section on roller skates. Yes, that's right.

And it's a great way to get fit. That's a really fun section. For me, the image of Danny DeVito obviously struggling on those roller skates it was well he's not here to

defend himself but yes it wasn't dignified though was it no and it was very clear that those those roller skates

were too big for him I assume that he's wearing the ones that were fitted to Les Cheese who's got famously huge feet yeah and webbed. Yeah, I've noticed Danny stuffing them with toilet roll,

the gap in the boot, and it's slightly widened at the front where Les Cheese's feet have webbed. Yes, I'm sure Costume are aware of that. I mean, we're only a couple of weeks into the run. It's not perfect. It's just a wonderful celebration of Greek yogurt. It's sort of Shakespearean in its themes.

It's a really universal story that I think everyone could relate to. Which Shakespeare play would you say is the closest fit to Grease the Musical? Are there any about yogurt? Maybe The Winter's Tale? are there any about yoghurt maybe a winter's tale just to go back to the plot there's the big roller skating bit I mean I was drifting off to be honest and then at the end there's this frankly harrowing scene

where the lion is graphically castrated by a man who I think is meant to represent the European Union. That's spot on, yeah. When you took away our yogurt, you took away our liberty. When you took away my bollocks. You took away my dignity. Do you think that's what people want when they go out on a Friday night, they pay their money to see a musical,

and then they end up watching this graphic depiction of a lion's bollocks being torn off? I think by that point, everyone's had a few drinks, they've relaxed, they join in with the singing. The songs are so catchy, because you've maybe heard them before, maybe, which I think is a great idea for a musical, to go in knowing some of the songs, especially if you like The Lion King and other musicals.

I think my favourite bit at the moment is when Chitty the car comes in full of yoghurt. We haven't got it to fly yet, but it's got wings. And it starts telling quite blue, quite risque jokes, which I think was Les' idea. It's some of his material from early 90s. The stuff, I guess, couldn't go on TV even then. It's amazing, actually, that section,

because it makes you realize that there are loads of nationalities about which you haven't heard racist jokes before. That's right. I mean, Les, he's travelled a lot. And I think everywhere he goes, he finds a way to bully the country he's visiting. He finds a way to spot the differences and then write some brilliant jokes about it.

Yeah. There's a number of walkouts last night at that at that point it was it was the bit specifically when he the crux of the i can't remember the joke itself but the crux of the joke was the idea that that um finnish women never stop shitting as interesting i actually i missed i didn't think it was a joke i just thought it was les i thought it was Les. I thought it was just an anecdote. Told by a car. Yes. Yes. And then the end.

Now, the end, obviously, in most musicals is the kind of spectacular. You'd get all the cast on stage, big chorus, big dance number, that kind of thing. Now, this production doesn't go down that road. And it was quite a curious end where the CEO of Rosington's, Philip Rosington, came out and then just talked us through the new range of Rosenthal's yogas. I think it's quite a powerful piece of theatre because it does make sense in the story because at that point

he's up on the mountain and all the villagers and the manufacturers are all looking up at him and they do need to know what the new range is at that point in the story to go away so i think it does actually make sense dramatically yeah i think i would i would call it uh an anti-climax oh that's interesting i mean i think a lot of people are very interested to know what the new range is i think it's a really great ending that brings it back to to yoga and the whole the whole reason we're all there. More after this. The Beef and Dairy Network podcast is in part sponsored by ZipRecruiter.com.

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They've taken my family meat! That was an heirloom, you monsters! Did somebody order beef? No, this isn't a restaurant. No, that's my catchphrase. That's what I always say. Okay. Who are you? I'm Slash Beef. Slash Beef.

Did somebody order beef? Again, no. Slash beef. Did somebody order beef? Again, no. Slash beef. ZipRecruiter.com slash beef. Why is so much of the show in Greek? I think that was Philip's philip's idea philip rossington i think he liked the idea of it sort of being a test for the audience i think a bit like the wire sort of similar you know you have to really sort of concentrate and listen to know what's going on

i watched the wire and occasionally there were bits where i had to just rewind it and i didn't understand some of the street slang and some of the thicker accents. I never had to learn a different language though. Oh, okay. I'd say only about 80% of it's in Greek. I think it's a fun language to listen to. But you'd be surprised how much Greek you actually do know. I was actually very surprised at the amount of Greek I knew

because it was a lot less than I thought it might be when I went in. Xylophone, it's a Greek word. Yeah. Yeah. Let's talk about the reaction the show has received. Why do you think it hasn't been putting in the audiences that no doubt Rosenthal's expected? I just think people aren't going out as much.

But also I think that because Rosenthal's added so many seats on, it's such a huge venue, it's quite hard to hard to fill yeah how many seats are there in that venue I think it's something like 17 000 I was there last night and obviously I walked in and it was this huge arena but there were only and I was able to count them from where I was sat six people in the audience that's right yeah I think last night there were more people on stage than were in the audience. But I think that makes for quite an exciting live event. The show's had a rough time in the press. I've got some quotes here that I've just collated from the national press.

I haven't read them, so. Okay, well, it'll be interesting to see how you respond to this stuff. In the Telegraph, it says says here a better title for it would be intellectual property theft the musical after nearly two hours of barely disguised plagiarism i could barely believe my ears when the cast broke out into the song do you hear the greeple sing yeah again i mean i think the enough notes were changed it's with an homage the express daily express like a patchwork quilt of plagiarized plots from other more successful musicals laid on top of a bed that somebody has wet with hot piss well i like quilts so i think that's a

compliment wendy thanks for coming in. It's been an interesting experience to hear. I'm really sorry. Sorry? I'm sorry I can't do this. It's awful. I'm so sorry. What do you mean?

I'm really sorry. It's okay. What's awful? It's been hell. Really? Yeah. From day dot. Yeah.

I'm so sorry. I just can't keep it in anymore. It's not working. Like you say, it's an absolute shit show. Yeah. It's been very difficult. And it's not selling. I mean, you know, I've only got myself to blame. I knew, I knew it was, I knew it was awful.

Before you even got involved, do you mean? Yes, when I first read it. I thought this is absolute shit and Philip was very persuasive. So why did you go along with it then? For Philip. What is your connection with Philip? That's a good question. I thought I knew but I don't know if you,

even when you spend five months next to someone sharing yoghurt pots, maybe you don't really know them at all. It feels like we're kind of tiptoeing around something here What is the nature of your relationship with Philip Rosenthal? I love Philip from the start It's as simple as that He knows it, I know it He's listening to this now

I know he is He'll be listening to it in the car on the way back to his girlfriend in Sussex Philip, I know you're listening He'll be listening to it in the car on the way back to his girlfriend in Sussex. Philip, I know you're listening in your stupid sports car. You said you'd name a yoghurt after me, Philip. You said we'd go to the factory together. You said you'd show me around the factory at night it's empty promises like your empty

yogurt pots in your stupid car his car's full of yogurt pots yeah his stress eats you said that you think philip's probably listening have you do you have a message for philip just to finish off yeah Yeah, actually. Actually, I do. Philip, I'm out. I'm done. I'm sorry. I've eaten so much yogurt that I hurt all down the left side. I just want my life back.

I want my normal life back. I've had enough. No one's watching it. This is a complete charade. It's not working. The show is an absolute car crash. Quite literally last night when Chitty ran over Danny DeVito's foot. I've had enough, Philip. I can't do this. I'm sorry. You won't text me back because I've got no choice but to do it like this. I've had enough. I quit. I quit, Philip. I quit. I've had enough. I quit.

I quit, Philip. I quit. A big thanks to Wendy Axminster for that interview. And although she did quit there, we've since followed up and found out that she is contractually bound to the production for the next 15 years. Enjoy yourself, Wendy. Also, the music you heard during that interview was taken from the new album, Philip Rossington Sings Grease the Musical, available from Monday. So that's all we've got time for this month. But if you're after more beef and dairy news, get over to our website now

where you can read all the usual stuff, as well as our off-topic section where this month we asked Kim Jong-un to talk us through his favourite episodes of Mork & Mindy. So, until next time, beef out. Thanks to Katie Wicks and Dave Cribb. Hello, a couple of little things before I go. Firstly, this month I found out how many of you are now supporting the show after the MaxFunDrive and I was so pleased and surprised by how many of you there are. So I'm so grateful if you're one of those people. Thank you very much. And if you're not one of those people, thank you anyway just for listening. And secondly, what are you doing on the 16th of September, which is a Saturday, between 2pm andm. and roughly 3 p.m.? Nothing?

Right. Well, why don't you come to Beef and Dairy Live? We're doing another live show at the London Podcast Festival. I'm super excited about this one. We did it last year. It was really good fun. In fact, you can hear a recording of last year's. I put it out a few months ago on this podcast feed.

And if you want to come, tickets are £12.50 from the King's Place website. King's Place is where it's all happening. And also, if you buy tickets for three or more events at the London Podcast Festival, you get a discount. And there are loads of other great, great shows on. So do look at the rest of the programme. Just to let you know, we sold out last year. So if you want to come, get a ticket swiftly because we did sell out. And I'm not telling you that just to show off. I'm doing it for your benefit and also showing off a bit. I haven't yet confirmed who the guests will be, but they will be good and we'll all have a good time.

So I hope to see you there. All right. Thanks for listening. Bye. Hello, Internet. I'm your husband, host Travis McElroy. And I'm your wife, host Teresa McElroy. And together we present Schmanners. It's extraordinary etiquette for ordinary occasions. We explain the historical significance of everyday etiquette topics, then answer your questions relating to modern life. So join us weekly on MaximumFun.org or wherever podcasts are found. No RSVP required. Check out Schmanners.

Schmanners, Schmanners. Get it? Are stacks of unread books taking over your apartment? Do you constantly miss your train stop because you're caught up in reading? I'm Bria Grant. And I'm Mallory O'Meara. We party hard. And by party hard, we mean read books.

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