Beef And Dairy Network - Episode 49 - The Beef Hop

Episode Date: July 21, 2019

Josie Long and Sophie Duker join in for this episode, in which we examine the latest dance craze: the Beef Hop. By Benjamin Partridge, Josie Long and Sophie Duker. Music: Do The Beef Hop – Adam Flare feat. Dogman. Find more of Adam Flare’s music here: adamflare.bandcamp.com Stock media provided by Setuniman/Pond5.com and Soundrangers/Pond5.com

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extravagantly across the bonnet of a police car before embarking on an argument with a taxi driver which ultimately ends with you hitting him over the head with an empty brandy bottle you find on the floor, then there's no way that you will have missed the latest dance craze that is gripping the nation. The Beef Hop dance craze began when musician DJ Pasteurize released his single Do The Beef Hop, a funky disco number which contains within its lyrics instructions as to how to do the accompanying dance. The single was a worldwide hit. It went to number one in 35 countries, is the most streamed song in history and has been adopted as the new national anthem of Lithuania.

Alongside the success of the single, disco evenings known as Beef Hops have sprung up across the world, with children and young people arriving in their thousands to dance, and also to hurl cooked minced beef at each other along to the music. While some see the Beef Hop as a harmless dance craze, others see it as something altogether more problematic, a dangerous development which is warping the minds of young people. Earlier this week, I spoke to Valerie Harp from pressure group Stop the Madness, who exists to push back against what they see as the progressive moral degradation of society. We were also joined by someone who's been on the Beef and Dairy Network podcast before,

Theresa Becton, a youth worker who runs a youth centre in Becton in South London. I started by asking Valerie to explain the work of Stop the Madness. Yes, well it's an organisation that combats immorality in modern society. So I feel a lot of us feel that the modern times are rather running away with us a little bit. Things are happening that we didn't sign on for, didn't expect. And Stop the Madness just tries to keep sort of firm hand on things, just flag up any potential issues that might arise. Teresa, thank you very much for coming in. It's my absolute pleasure.

You're still at the same youth centre you were when we spoke to you last time? Yeah, well, the same in name. Unfortunately, the premises are no more due to a fire from candles, which I was responsible for. I will put my hands up that was my fault to be honest i did i didn't think i was drunk but well i mean i don't i don't think this is what we're here to discuss actually yes in fact this is not what we're here to discuss so we have new premises you've replaced the building that you burned down whilst drunk? Well, luckily, we did GoFundMe. And luckily, I was able to shift the onus onto one of our clients. So luckily for me, it's a happy ending, actually,

because we've got much bigger toilet in the bigger building so officially who is responsible for the burning down of the building well who's to say who's to say let's just say carl stevens is no longer welcome at the new premises carl stevens is one of the the children that is in your care he yes he was and it's some something of a scapegoat is what what i can say well. And it's something of a scapegoat is what I can say. Well, you made it. You made it a scapegoat. The thing is, when you brought me here to discuss a fun dance, I didn't expect to have

the Spanish Inquisition about my personal life. Okay, well, let's move on to the dance craze. Valerie, you're here to talk about, well, something that all the kids are doing at the moment, the beef hop. It's been a huge deal over the past few weeks since it came out you've you've gone on record saying this this dance craze is dangerous for the words you used why do you think that is i don't think dancing is dangerous i've enjoyed dance when done by skilled professional dancers dancing can be

enjoyed i think that uh what i find worrying about the beef hop is the beef becomes charged with this sort of um sexual physical visceral energy which has no place in in beef i'll come to you know um theresa you are in charge of your youth center how many children are you seeing there on a weekly basis? Between one and 15,000. I'm not a very good estimator. And on top of that, it's really variable. It depends what activities I'm putting on.

For example, if I were putting on a candle making workshop, I would see the numbers much nearer one, two. If I'm organising a beef hop event, we are looking at in the low to medium thousands of children. It's absolute carnage. As soon as I put up the sign that I wrote up top of the youth centre saying, beef hop here tonight, I know there'll be queues around the block because that's how popular it is. Even the nature of these events. I mean, if a dance is to be set up, it should be advertised weeks in advance. There should be a chance for the council to get involved.

With these flash hops that are popping up just impromptu all over the place, there's no way to regulate the mints, the dances. Well, Teresa, do you provide the mints yourself? No, no, because that would come out of my own pocket and I'm afraid I'm not able to do that. But what I would say is there has been a real shift and the shift has gone L to B, L to B. It's gone lamb to beef.

Yes. And that is one of the most positive shifts i have seen at the youth center in the community in the park let's contrast then think back to six months ago imagine the scene there in your local park next to the youth center what are you seeing there six months ago and what are you seeing there now well you'd come the next morning and it would be littered with little sachets of mint sauce that's what i'm saying littered littered you'd see platters whereupon there had been a leg of lamb broad beans of course a very famous lamb accompaniment now nothing do you know what you see you see the feeling that the dance has left i think i think we can all agree that we don't want young people to be indulging in lamb

amen to that oh yeah uh amen yes to that but i think what's happening now is that we're endorsing a particular different kind of deviancy by welcoming in that sort of energy that was left over from the lamb and putting it upon the beef. Now Valerie you obviously have very strong feelings about this. Yes. I think people might be listening thinking well how does Valerie know the effects this is having? Have you been to one of these beef pub events? Have you been to Theresa's Youth Centre for example? I have not been to Theresa's Youth Centre for example I have not been to Teresa's Youth Centre under its uh former or current premises but I have uh young relatives I have some nephews I don't think I would like to see them engaging in this dance to my knowledge they haven't been

what's their name as such what are their are their names? Their names are Nathan. Nathan what? Nathan Harp. Nathan Harp. No, he's not been, no. And Oscar. Oscar Harp, yes. No, Oscar wouldn't, no. No, he's one of the absolute best dancers that I've ever seen. I think it must be a different Oscar.

I don't think Oscar would go, certainly not without his older brother. He was with someone who's a little bit taller, but I never got the name, which was frustrating because I keep a very comprehensive record so that I can collude with the police if anything ever happens. Do you live near the youth centre, Valerie? Is it possible that your nephews have been? Well, I'd say it's about five kilometres. Would somebody walk five kilometres to come to a youth club?

Honestly, I'm not trying to blow my own trumpet, but we have people. So bear in mind the youth clubs in Bechting. We have people. The furthest I've seen was someone walked from York. They walked from York. From York. Yes, and then afterwards they walked back to York.

Valerie, you say you've got your two nephews, Nathan and Oscar. Yes. What are they doing of an evening then? If other children are out beef hopping in the park or beef hopping in a youth centre or maybe behind the church or a multi-storey car park maybe, what are the kids in your life doing? They would practice something like carving. To carve meat? To carve meat, which is a much more methodical pursuit. It takes a lot of practice. And it's something that a young man or women, there are more women getting into carving,

can just really progress at. You can chart that progression. So you're saying you'd rather introduce children to knives than have them dance in a youth club? Well, yes. Actually, I'm going to stop you there. That's actually the opposite of what we're trying to do. No, I mean, my family have always been good at handling knives. We've had a lot of knives in the house

and the children are used to seeing the knives. Like samurais? We've had a variety of knives, not samurais, but we've had cutlasses. Like pirates? Like pirates. Some ornamental cutlasses. Like pirates? Like pirates. Some ornamental cutlasses which we use on Easter.

But you're saying you'd sit down over an evening you'd bring Oscar and Nathan around and you'd say hey, here you go here's the ornamental cutlass

from the wall. We couldn't really hand it over we would present them with a cutlass the eldest would carve usually the eldest at the table would carve and then the children

would mimic with their own smaller pieces of meat. So you're listening to this, Teresa. Why aren't children doing this instead of dancing in this vivid way? Well, the first thing I would say is cuts. I don't mean literally, I mean the council cuts. The council no longer has a budget for carving lessons. We've had to let three carving specialists just in our borough go in the last two years. It will make your eyes water to think how little money now is going into beef outreach

in the youth sector in my borough. In my borough alone, 2015, the figure for beef outreach in the youth sector, £15 million. That's not a lot. No. It's heartbreaking. And that was 2015. Where are we now? Well, exactly. We're down to £7.5 million.

That's nothing. It's chump change. Yeah. Scandalous. I know. Solo. You know. How are you going to teach children about milking?

How are you going to teach children about polishing the hooves of a dainty calf? That was an intensive eight-week course. Gone. And of course, Valerie, I don't want to assume anything about your finances, but there are more well-off families living in your borough who will be able to afford to send their children to their own carving workshops. They'll be able to pay for their own workshops about polishing the hooves of a dainty calf. I think we're all in very different circumstances. If there isn't enough provision for certain workshops for carving or for hoof polishing of dainty calves, then the individual parent must make their own decision

to prioritise what they think is important in their child's life. Okay, well, Valerie, let's do a little role play. Okay, imagine you're in Theresa's shoes, okay? You're sitting down, you're in charge of the youth club. You've got a paltry £7.5 million budget to spend on Beef Outreach. But you're still a very powerful woman, in the prime of life. Sure. I mean, you're not Theresa, you are still yourself.

Okay, sorry, I apologise. Imagine Theresa never existed. I don't think that's very fair, okay. Sorry. Apologise. Imagine Tracer never existed. Okay. I don't think that's very fair and I think it's quite dangerous. Okay, well, imagine Tracer's gone on a... She's won a six-month trip.

Where to? Around the world. By boat. Well, she's not going to see very much of the world, is she? If she's travelling by boat. No, I'm sorry. I'm not going to enter...

What would I enter that competition in? What? Chat magazine? No, you could ring Beefcore, for example, our phone in. But the boat would stop in various port cities around the world. Rio, Cape Good Hope, that sort of thing. Okay. Anyway, let's imagine that's happened.

Okay. Okay, I will go on the cruise. Sure, right. Valerie, you're in the office. Okay. You have the paltry budget. Can I move out Teresa's things? Let's imagine she's already moved everything out.

It's a new office. Out of courtesy imagine she's already moved everything out of courtesy. Yes, I can imagine it, my office. Right. Yes. And you're confronted with this tiny budget and you're trying to work out how you spend your money. Yes. And then someone comes in and goes,

hey, I can solve your problems because throwing a beef up costs, what does it cost, Teresa? £15? Oh, no, that's way over budget. I mean, I spent £2.50 buying the highlighter pens. The paper I actually stole from a branch of Ikea. £2.50 plus that, £3. There you go.

£3? Because over £3... Stolen paper to advertise the hot. The space, obviously. Do we turn on the lights? Oh, yes. £3.24? £3.24.

Wait, do you want to play music as well? Okay, look, I'm going to call it an even four if you're going to flush the toilets. I mean, that's the decision for Valerie to make, whether they flush the toilets or not. Okay, we will be flushing the toilets. Great. So four pounds. So they say for four pounds you can throw a beef up.

Can you not see now why, put in the situation of Theresa, you would do exactly the same thing? I refuse that I would do exactly the same thing. I think that carving potentially could be advertised in a similar way, a similar method. You think you'd get hundreds of knives for under £4? I think it teaches children something about sharing. Yes, I feel that rather than a discotheque in a badly lit youth centre,

we could have something with a little bit more sense of occasion, sense of spectacle perhaps involve the whole family. with a little bit more sense of occasion, sense of spectacle, perhaps involve the whole family. What I would say is, what has more of a sense of spectacle than 15,000 children all crammed in the three rooms? That's meeting room one, event room one, and sound slash messy play. 15,000 children crammed in those three rooms flinging mints everywhere honestly if you've not seen it it's like nothing else you'll ever see I agree that there may be something of the

there may be a sense of scale involved with those quantities of children coming through but I'm not sure how many of them really understand the messages that you're trying to promote with your youth center i'm not sure that they feel very unified uh as a body of children i'm not sure that they are making lasting and useful relationships at these sort of sessions um i don't know where what the aftercare is what happens to them after they leave your premises uh how they feel about what's just occurred? Well, some of them got a very long walk home, to be honest with you. Yeah, they are essentially stranded,

covered in mints, left to walk miles. But what's good about that is they're never alone. Well, firstly, I'd say you're never alone if you're covered in mints. But secondly, I would say they are literally never alone because if you're walking down,

say, for example, you're walking back up to Beryl Contoury and you're walking in the Coast for example, you're walking back up to Bevere Contree and you're walking in the Coastal Walk, seagulls, they will target you. So you're never going to be lonely. Because you'll be plagued by seabirds. Oh yeah. More after this.

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maybe we should go dancing tonight. You know, me and you, like in the old days, before we had, uh, Glengerman. No, Slash Beef, we've got before we had Glenderman. No, Slashbeef. We've got to look after Glenderman. Yes, I

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Of course, it isn't just children who have been swept up by the beef hop craze. I asked Valerie whether she had ever been to an adult discotheque. I have, not during trading hours, but I have been to see the premises of a discotheque and I was not impressed with what I saw. Teresa, is that somewhere where you'd spend your spare time, your downtime? Oh, yes. I mean, guilty as charged. I absolutely love to go out on the lash. And if I can go to the discotheque, particularly when they're playing this modern disco music,

Disney disco dancing, I love it. Would you say the music they're playing there is funky? Groovy? Yes, I think it is a little bit. Yes, funky, groovy. Lots of people, very hip to the beat. Right. And you'll see people really kind of letting their hair down.

Well, Valerie's here. She's wincing physically as if these words were like a hot whip across her face. Yeah, well, I mean, I don't mean to have such a visceral reaction to it. I just feel that these, this funky, groovy, jivey music is, well, I wouldn't really call it music. I'd call it noise, actually, Teresa, but they're each to their own. I think these kinds of dances, the kind of dancing that is enjoyed there, I think it speaks of a, I don't know,

I think if there's a certain kind of restlessness in people that they need to expunge through these dances, I think if you're of a calm and quiet disposition, there's no need to go and jerk yourself out at one of these discotheque establishments. Well, I've got some letters here from listeners who have experience with the beef hop. And I just want to read these to you because it gives a sense of what's going on out there, how people are experiencing this, and maybe you can reflect on what these people have to say. So I had a letter here from Tom Bickerstaff. He says, I went to a wedding earlier this month. After the trout course, all the lights went off and loud disco music began. The wedding reception was now a disco. I was in a disco.

It wasn't long before wedding attendees, young and old, were copulating on the dance floor. Uncles and aunts, old family friends and members of staff slithering across each other's bodies like sick eels glistening under the disco lights. That's from Tom. That's beautiful, isn't it? Just think about that.

Just think about the fact that you're at a wedding a celebration of fertility and what i don't i don't think that's what that's is that that's not what a wedding is that's a celebration of fertility to the season of summer i mean you've been married yourself twice a couple mean, you've been married yourself, Teresa, a couple of times. I've been married five times. Five times the charm. And I'm divorced now. Right. At those receptions, were people, I'll quote Tom here,

slithering across each other's bodies like sick eels glistening under the disco lights? First one, no. To be fair, that one was a church do, so it was slightly a bit quieter. Second one, now second one, we, to be fair, that one was a church do, so it was slightly a bit quieter. Second one, now second one, we actually done Las Vegas. So you know what people say, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. So he is still in Vegas.

Third one, that was an absolute fuckfest. And it's one of the reasons why unfortunately he's no longer with us the fourth and fifth weddings do you know i'm not gonna say they were back in alien affairs because they wasn't you know as you get older perhaps you're not quite available to you know behave in this way but at the same time i would say there was an air of the discotheque and what i would say is we mustn't be prudish at these things. It's a rite of passage. It's important for people to express their sexuality at a wedding. What's more natural than people having sex at someone else's wedding?

I really feel that at these sorts of events, that any sort of discotheque activity should be opt-in. I don't feel, I mean, that's like a bouncy castle. You have to take your shoes off, you mean? No, I mean that not like a bouncy castle You have to take your shoes off you mean No I mean I mean that not everyone at the wedding should be subjected to this kind of music

these kinds of goings on So at your weddings let's think about four and five which were the discotheque affairs were people able to opt in or opt out

Well you could opt out because you could go outside for a cigarette There you go Valerie To be honest you could opt out like my fourth husband who actually jilted me So that's one of the reasons why it was such a big affair because it was you know i was to be honest i was in a bit of an emotional state so i wanted

it to be a big party i have another letter here uh leslie ann wheaton writes i went to a discotheque to celebrate the end of a stressful period at work long story short i'm now pregnant i'm having a disco baby lord help me i'm having a disco baby i mean congratulations that's i suppose the first thing i would say secondly don't worry about it because if you give birth in the discotheque that baby can go there for free is that that's a law or a just a policy of i think it's a trumer it's like a rumor but it might be true i think okay i think with the current state and i have read the statistics that pregnancies are going up with the current state of pregnancies these disco babies we have to think of what their their their legacy will be in times to come and whether uh little uh timmy

in the future will want to be labelled a disco baby, those children will have to carry the stigma. But do you not think you are creating that stigma? Do you not think that really the stigma you're talking about is being generated by the likes of your group Stop the Madness? No, I think we're looking to protect these children. A child can't help where it's conceived,

where it's born uh in what context it's raised obviously uh boat babies there's a lot of stigma about boat babies people conceived on boats you see them walking into the center and they are shunned well that would be true because people consider a boat baby to be bad luck you know if you are conceived on a cruise people say things like you we've all heard it you know like what time is breakfast it's all day you know people say i don't trust a boat baby because they'll stop off in every port um they'd say well you know we've all heard and it's a shame but to be honest i would also i wouldn't let them in the youth centre just because i think it's trouble

and i think to be honest if they if they didn't want that stigma, they shouldn't have been born on a boat. That's a good point. Well made. Thank you. Valerie, sorry to go back to this point about the stigma. Yes, I think... You don't think you're adding to it? No, I don't. I think obviously at the moment, there's a great amount of celebrity around, but disco babies,

disco babies are seen as a cool hip thing but I think having this sort of fashionable conception may not be so trendy in later years when we all kind of wake up and smell the smell the beef as it were. Smell the rotting mints. I've got a

final letter here. This is from Grant Tilbury. He writes, the beef hop seems to have given my kids a new appreciation of the importance of aerobic exercise they dance to it from morning until night in the garden which makes a change from their usual routine of playing computer games in their bedroom and eating spoonful after spoonful of warm whipped cream from a bowl kept at the end of their bed however when i hear even the smallest snatch of the music, I go into a sort of trance. And when I wake up, I'm usually injecting street drugs or spreading malicious rumours on the internet. Is that something you've found happening to you, Teresa, listening to the music? I don't think it's like going to a trance.

Well, I'll tell you what is funny. The beef hops can last for, as we all know, up to 15 hours. But it does feel to me like they last for the blink of an eye. So in that respect, it is quite possible that I'm intravenously injecting drugs during that time. But at the same time, I think what he's got is a case of hot forgetfulness. You know, and that's very normal. I mean, you know, and that's very normal.

I mean, you seem very confused. I think this hot forgetfulness, as you call it, is just another characteristic of the way that beef is being co-opted by this sort of sexual savagery. I would say this hot forgetfulness bears a very strong resemblance to lamnesia. Ah, interesting. Yes. So if you've indulged in lamb and then you can't remember the next morning uh where you were or what you did or who you did it with uh and that sort of i mean

sickness is happening now with people who are merely trying to enjoy some beef and it's not the children's fault but it's the manner in which they're using it so here's the thing whilst i do find that interesting i think it's a very positive thing children very happy and that if that means that i develop an addiction to injecting opiates if that means i develop a very cruel online persona then i'm afraid that's the sacrifice i am prepared to make for my community now you've worked for many years, Teresa, to try and stop the scourge of lamb across your community and you've done that with great effect. So we, you know, Valerie, we can celebrate what Teresa's been doing in her local community.

The amount of lamb consumption has gone down year on year since you've been there. And we found out last year that Becton now has no New Zealand nationals living in the borough, which is a first for a London borough. Yes, in Long May it rain. They've been an absolute scourge. So, yes, I'm sorry to say, but yes. So a big round of applause for you, Teresa. But I think what Valerie's hinting at is maybe you're replacing one scourge with another.

Especially as she makes the point that this kind of amnesia, the beef amnesia, is very, very similar to the lambnesia we're talking about. And maybe, I don't know if this is something that scientifically is borne out, but if you combine hot cooked mince with this kind of modern disco music, you get a very similar sensation to when you're bow peeping. Well, what I'd say, in my defence, in the defence of anyone dancing to the beef hop, is it's fun. Okay? It's fun. It's a lovely dance. People love it. It's not like Lamb, which is kind of seedy, you know, nefarious.

Nothing like that. Nothing like that. It is fun. Nothing like that. Nothing like that. It is fun. Sex at the wedding. Intravenous drug use. No memory of the event afterwards. Ranting and raving apocalyptically online.

That's fun. That's what people want out of their life. So I'm sorry. I can't see any parallels whatsoever with lamb. Firstly, the taste is very different, as we all know. Secondly... Lamb smells weird. It does smell weird. And let me tell you, when I opened the gates to Youth Centre in the morning

after there's been a beef hop, the smell of rotting beef mince, it's like a summer morning. It's like a breath of fresh air, except it's also the opposite of that and it makes my heart absolutely swell with pride you know so i'd be very sad to see this whole thing you know lumped in with lamb okay well let's um listen to the song together i hope you don't mind that valerie no i'll tolerate it this one sure so we'll give it a little listen and then um we can have a chat about how we feel afterwards there's a new dance down at the farm it's just for fun we ain't doing no harm the farmers say that we gotta stop but we keep moving doing the beat pop There's a new dance down at the farm. It's just for fun. We ain't doing no harm.

The farmers say that we gotta stop. We keep moving, doing the beef hop. Beef hop. Open your legs like a caffeine bomb. Push out your udders and short your horn. Take your hands and put them on top so they look like ants. Now do the beef hop. Beef hop. Hop, hop, hop.

Do the beef hop. Bop, bop, bop. Bop a beef hop. Hop, hop, hop. Do the beef hop. Bop, bop, bop. Bop a beef hop. Now bend your feet so they look like hooves, and shake your ass to my disco grooves Wiggle your shanks and make those teats pop, shake your high quadras and do the beef hop

Beef hop, beef hop, beef hop, beef hop, beef hop Put your hands on your side and push out your snout Leash your tail and wiggle it about Open your mouth and let your tongue flout Bend your knees backwards, do the beef hop Beef hop, beef hop, beef hop, beef hop, beef hop Beef it to the left Beef it to the left. Beef it to the right.

Milk it, baby. Get those hooves moving. All right, put on your dancing shoes. I want to see you all dancing. Hop, hop, hop, do the B-Fop Bop, bop, bop, bop the B-Fop Do the B-Fop Do the B-Fop, yeah Hop, hop, hop, do the beef hop

Bop, bop, bop, bop the beef hop To the beef hop, to the beef hop, baby Hop, hop, hop, do the beef hop Bop, bop, bop, bop the beef hop To the beef hop, to the beef hop, yeah Hop, hop, hop, do the beef hop Bop, bop, bop, bop the beef hop To the beef hop, to the beef hop, yeah Okay, so that's the song.

How do we both feel after hearing that? Honestly, I do feel quite shaken. I feel quite ill. I think the imagery of that song is something I've not really paid close attention to before. But listening to it back in the studio, I can hear that it's very explicit. Right.

It's very explicit. It's lyrically complex, certainly. But, I mean, wiggle those shanks, make those teats pop. So, what time is it? Are you okay, Teresa? Sorry, I just, I don't know what just happened there. I just went,

I just went somewhere else. Teresa's gone very red. Yes, I feel a little bit flushed. I think, I mean, this looks like Teresa having an adverse reaction merely to hearing the music. There's no mints present in the studio.

Oh, oh. Even that's giving her a sort of... I feel like I'm on holidays is this a positive feeling i don't know you see sometimes i go on holidays it's actually quite oh quite difficult um what i would say oh sorry give me a second i mean is she experiencing the sensations described in teresa do you feel like your teats are popping? What I will say is I do want to open my mouth and let my tongue flop. I do. I'm sorry. It's contagious.

Well, let's talk about the lyrics because you're saying that there's something to worry about with these lyrics. Let's go through. What are the problems that you're seeing here? Okay. I think push out your udders and show us your horn is an undeniably sexual phrase

i'm sorry but not every cow is sexual like this is the problem if we're going to sexualize every single cow on the farm well there'll be no time to do the important tasks of milking of putting the feed in the little boxes you know if, we can't be sexualising a cow. I personally don't see the udder as a sexual thing. It's a functional thing for delivering the milk for us. And similarly, the horn is not a sexual thing. It's like a pageantry thing. I think obviously the specific parts of the cow,

the udders and the horn, are not innately sexual. But I think it's the sort of amplification of these, so the pushing out of the udders, the sort of stretched, straining udder and the erect horn. It's a question of context isn't it? Teresa, if you were walking down the street and some men in a white van

shouted at you from the window, push out your udders and show us your horn. Well I'd say some the imagery's confusing me what i'd say second thing i'd say is thank you i know i've still got it you know because when you get to my age you take what you can believe me five marriages five divorces well one doesn't count as a divorce because he disappeared but nonetheless I think the thing I would be upset at is people shouting and not singing.

That's what I'd be upset about. If they were rapping that at you, in the way we just heard. Oh, yes. Or if they perhaps threw a little mince, you know. If you're going to throw a little mince, it's a bit easier to be catcalled or beef called. I think that sort of language should be kept for private events uh for the privacy of one's own home for more intimate setting i don't know for example if you wanted some men to shout at you from a white van you'd let them into your home first

you'd drive the van maybe around the back of your house into your back garden i i i wouldn't i wouldn't necessarily have that sort of arrangement but but yes, that would be preferable to it happening on the street. Interesting. Let's talk about the second verse. Some people have brought up the issue that it's actually quite hard to do these dance moves if we look at them here. And maybe, Tracy, you can tell us how the children

are managing this at your beef-hop events. So, now bend your feet so they look like hooves. I'm not sure how that is done and next shake that ass to my disco grooves that's that's fairly straightforward well people do bring an ass to the party then we've had an ass we've had oxen it is rare but they will bring it and to be honest they will give it a good shake and you think that that's what the song refers to, the donkey, rather than the... Well, of course it's a song about farm animals. I can't remember.

I just don't know how we could be more... Because it could also mean the arsehole. Shake your arsehole. Oh, my God. Honestly, I did not put two... I feel quite embarrassed, actually. Sorry. Wiggle your shanks.

Make those teats pop. Valerie's also already already mentioned that shake your hindquarters do the beef hop put your hands by your side and push out your snout release your tail and wiggle it about now how are the kids doing that well one in a thousand people is born with a vestigial tail it's not talked about it's not openly accepted. Through this dance, those young people are icons. They are icons. They're being seen. Yeah, yeah.

Oh, they're being seen, they're being celebrated. And so what will happen is, you know, they'll know who's got the vestigial tail. They'll sort of give a little nod and a circle will form. Then all they'll do is they'll start to sort of dance and then just gradually the trousers will come down and pop, out comes the towel. Honestly, it's one of the loveliest parts of the beef hop

because you hear the cheer, the woo, you know, woo. Absolutely wonderful. You can hear it from miles around. Before we get back to that interview, some news about the upcoming British Beef Council annual dinner and barn dance. Now, whatever you think of the beef hop, I think we can all agree that it has no place at an event as longstanding and traditional as the British Beef Council annual dinner and barn dance.

Many network members boycotted the event last year when it was announced that the organisers sought to modernise the event by, amongst other things, not serving a trout course. I know that many network members were looking forward to returning this year in the hope that things had improved. However, I have some sad, sad news. Although many of the traditions of the dinner have been reinstated, for example there will be a trout course and an after-dinner speech by a hologram of much-loved entertainer Les Cheese, I am devastated to inform you that the barn dance portion of the night has been replaced by a disco. The traditions of my industry, our industry, are being eroded by a modern kind of music.

And this disco music is depleting our traditional barn dance based music culture. I will be attending the event. Last year's boycott was personally very hard on me and I hope to somehow still be able to enjoy it despite the disco. My promise to you is that at that disco, I will be doing barn dance moves only. Valerie Harp from Stop the Madness seemed to understand. I sympathise that your traditions are being changed by people pandering to this new fashion,

is a generous word for the hop. I think there should be some drive to retain those traditions in whatever form. Thank you for your understanding, Valerie. Would you like to come with me to the disco? Well, I mean, I don't know the date but if if it happens to be a date that is mutually convenient then it's a date no i mean if the calendar i was thinking of it as a date as well i didn't want to say no i uh so if the time and the day is one that I can make, I should make, yes. I look forward to it, Valerie.

Can I say what a beautiful thing it is to watch people falling in love? Thank you, Teresa. Well, I have to ask Mr Hart, but I anticipate him not noticing, so it should be fine. And can I just say, Valerie, I also think that society is plagued with madnesses and it's all gone too far. Thank you. That's exactly how I've always felt. Does Mr. Hart agree with you? Mr. Hart is not very communicative on these topics, but I trust that if were he to speak,

he would say something similar. Listen, I do appreciate that you guys have a lovely chat. I actually do have to go back to Beckton and the Docklands Light Railway is very unreliable. You miss one, you wait 10 minutes, which is 10 minutes I don't have because I have to put up my sign. Is tonight going to be a Beef Hop event? It is going to be Beef Hop. It's going to be one of the biggest ones we've ever had.

To that end, I've got to turn the toilets back on. The flushes are on tonight. The flushes are on tonight and hopefully is the Beef Hop. Lovely. Well, thanks for coming in, Teresa. Thank you, Valerie. Thank you. And I'll see you soon. Sorry, did you mean Valerie? and I'll see you soon see you soon thanks to Valerie Harp from Stop the Madness and Teresa Becton for that interview and if you're listening Valerie the number you gave me doesn't seem to work I don't know if

you're having some sort of problem with your phone network, but if you'd like to call me, my number is 55105555654155. So, that's all we've got time for this month. But if you're after more beef and dairy news, get over to our website now, where you can read all the usual stuff, as well as our off-topic section, where this month we find out why Star Trek actor Patrick Stewart always drinks out of an old jam jar. So, until next time, beef out. Thanks to Josie Long and Sophie Duker.

And the music was made by DJ Pasteurise, a.k.a. Adam Flair, featuring Dogman. Adam Flair has a great album on Bandcamp called In The Night. It's very worth you checking it out. Go to Adam Flair, that's Adam as in Adam and Eve, and Flair as in one of those things you fire into the sky if you're lost at sea,.bandcamp.com. Yeah, all of that explanation isn't in the URL. So the URL is just adamflair.bandcamp.com. And a reminder that we have a

brand new live show on the 15th of September at the London Podcast Festival. Details at beefanddairynetwork.com. Bye! Hey, if you like your podcast to be focused and well-researched and your podcast host to be uncharismatic, unhorny strangers who have no interest in horses, then this is not the podcast for you. Yeah, and what's your deal? I'm Emily. I'm Lisa. Our show's called Baby Geniuses. And its hosts are horny adult idiots.

We discover weird Wikipedia pages every episode. We discuss institutional misogyny. We ask each other the dumbest questions, and our listeners won't stop sending us pictures of their butts. We haven't asked them to stop, but they also aren't stopping. Join us on Baby Geniuses every other week on MaximumFun.org Not all heroes wear capes. Some heroes watch

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