Begin Again with Davina McCall - Beverley Knight: Losing My Best Friend At The Worst Moment Of My Career & How I Found New Purpose!

Episode Date: May 7, 2026

What happens when the dream you built your life around begins to fall apart? In this episode of Begin Again, singer, actress, and British soul icon Beverley Knight opens up about the moments that shaped her life, her career, and her purpose. Beverley reflects on the faith, music, resilience, and family foundations that made her who she is. Beverley shares the truth behind her journey through the music industry, including the backlash she faced when she refused to stay in one lane. After years of success, how it felt being judged, dismissed, and slowly pushed aside by parts of the industry that once celebrated her. But even in the face of rejection, Beverley kept going. This conversation explores one of the most painful chapters of Beverley’s life: losing her best friend Tyrone to HIV. Beverley speaks movingly about their bond, the grief of watching him die, and how his activism inspired her to continue fighting for LGBTQ+ rights and visibility. His loss became her purpose. She opens up about reinvention, and the career pivot to musical theatre became a new beginning, leading to acclaimed West End roles, Olivier nominations, and a second life on stage.She shares how she almost lost everything to an illness that led to a hysterectomy. At its heart, this is a conversation about purpose and refusing to let other people define your ending. Beverley Knight is proof that sometimes the moment people think you are finished is actually the moment you begin again. 🌟 Follow for more honest conversations about identity, growth, and beginning again. Follow us here: 📸 www.instagram.com/beginagain 🎥 https://www.tiktok.com/@beginagainpod Follow Beverly: https://www.instagram.com/beverleyknight/ ✨Sign up for the Begin Again newsletter for all your behind the scenes access, recommendations and much much more at: https://linkly.link/2g2xm (00:00) Intro (01:22) Why Beverley’s Life In Music Still Matters (02:19) How Beverley First Fell In Love With Music (05:14) How Faith Shaped Beverly’s Childhood (13:01) What Her Parents Faced After Coming To The UK (20:52) Why Music Can Still Bring People Together (23:07) What Really Happened When Beverley Performed With Prince (26:29) Do Health Ad (27:44) Saily Ad (30:44) Why Beverly’s Pop Album Sparked Backlash (38:23) How Tyrone’s HIV Battle Changed Beverly’s Purpose (42:44) Why Beverly Kept Fighting For LGBTQ+ Rights Despite The Hate (45:13) Shopify Ad (47:14) How Musical Theatre Led Beverly To Her Olivier (57:22) The Health Scare That Changed Everything (01:07:53) What’s Next For Beverley Sponsors: Do Health - The waitlist is open. Begin Again listeners get fixed early access pricing when they sign up today at https://dohealth.co/beginagain use code BEGINAGAIN Saily - Download from the app store and use code DAVINA at the checkout for 15% offShopify - https://Shopify.co.uk for £1 a month trial Join the Begin Again community - https://linkly.link/2eoNP Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I chose to fight. You couldn't deny me my ability to make music. I was going to find a way no matter what. I was always a mouty little kid. I always had something to say. My earliest memories were music. Were you supported by your family with your decisions? Their worry that I was going to be sex and drugs and rock and rock.

That was their big fear. They wanted me to sing for the Lord. I love Prince. Remember he did the 21 nights. at the O2. Yes. He wanted me to open for him. It was one of the most amazing things ever happened to me.

You started in R&B and then you went off and you made a pop album. I made a pop album. And what happened was all the people who were writing about me and supporting me in the formative years turned. God, that's so hard. It's hard.

Yeah. I pivoted to musical theatre. It gave me another chance at life. But then other things came into play. I was doing children in need. Packed Albert Hall. and I fainted. In front of 5,000000 people.

They said you're going to have to have, you know, major surgery. My husband James was right there holding my hand through all these choices. I mean, you've been together nearly 20 years. James is brilliant. And now my 50s have been great because nothing was going to deter me. I'm going to start crying again. I think it's fascinating the way that you've been able to straddle musical and music. theatre, you know, like there's not many artists that it's kind of interesting how you're

almost not permitted to cross over genres. Like, yeah, you know, once you've left music. You're supposed to just stay in one line. Yeah. Like, sorry, you're done. But you actually have successfully navigated all of it. How did you do that? Tenacity.

Tenacity. Yes. I want what I want. That's it. The end. Okay, listen, I was just wondering, you know the subscribe button down there. Could you just press it? That would be so helpful. It doesn't cost anything, completely free, but it really, really helps us bring you fab guests. We really want to do that.

How did you find that voice? I was always a mouty little kid. I always had something to say. I always knew my mind. And I always spoke it. But I would disarm people because I'm such a smiley person. I'm naturally that person. It is inherent within me to be, to approach with love with love and friendliness and openness,

which leaves me open to be very naive. And I'm really easy to be fooled. I'm really easy to be tricked, you know, surprise part. I'm always going to be the one who falls for it. I'll never see it coming. I'm just that person. Childlike, not childish. But Balzy.

But Balzy, I think because I knew I had this talent at the earliest age. My earliest memories were music. How old were you? Before I was three. Before I really... How are you singing then? Like what? The melodies were all there.

Church? Church. Absolutely. But in my own home, my parents and my older sister, Cynthia, recognized it immediately. They knew that the musicality was more than just, oh, she's got a nice voice. They knew there was more to it because I would pull things apart and really listen

and really hear things, which later on I knew was, me working out production. I didn't know what it was then. I could hear this trumpet line and relate to it or this synth line or whatever it was or this background vocal. You know, I was hearing at a guess a deeper level. I understood things more than my sister who's very musical. But I could see that she could see it within me. And that just manifested itself at a very early age and then just year on year it seemed like it just got deeper and by the time I was about eight I knew I was going to sing eight nine I knew this was what I was going to do for the rest of my life and I did start to write songs when I was about 13 I did you know on the piano wow

can't play at all really oh terrible but I understood chords I understood progression I understood this minor chord is going to make you feel sad this major chord is going to make you feel happy this rhythm is going to make you want to dance. This is going to, this slower beat is going to make you think. I understood those things and I tried to put that into song, you know, and you just keep failing and you keep going and you keep going until you've written something which feels like it makes some kind of sense to someone. Were you supported by your family with your decisions and around music

and focusing on that? They did to a point. Right. If I went on to make gospel music, oh my God, yes. They wanted me to sing for the Lord. I wanted to just sing. So they did support me, but their worry that I was going to be sex and drugs and rock and roll. That was their big fear.

They were Christian people. But they loved their daughter and they could see. that somehow, I didn't know how at the time, but somehow I was going to end up making music for the rest of my life. They could see it. So they supported me whilst praying diligently that I would make, you know, I would dedicate my whole life singing for the glory of God. So they were part of the Pentecostal Church.

Yeah. Could you just explain for anybody that's not sure? That's me. So I grew up going to church. Yeah. It was Church of England. And my granny took me every Sunday. I was in the choir, did the whole shebang.

Yeah. So I know, you know, I know church in itself, but I don't know what's different about the Pentecostal church. Well, the Pentecostalists specifically, and they are, when you think of charismatic churches, when you hear the word evangelical, often you would ascribe that to the Pentecostals. Okay.

And the Baptists as well. you know, this kind of... A lot more singing, dancing, the ecstasy. I love that. Yeah. Oh, it was great. The ecstatic worship. Well, it's catching.

Yeah. It's a bit like anxiety's catching, but ecstasy's catching too. Absolutely. That euphoria that everybody feels at the same time. And that the word Pentecostal is comes from the day of Pentecost where now I'm going to get really churchy. No, go. The New Testament.

We want to learn. You want to learn. You go to the New Testament. After you've gone through Matthew, Mark, Luke and John, you come to the Book of Acts. Yes. And the Book of Acts will tell you, Jesus has ascended into heaven. The disciples are there. And Jesus is telling them, I'll be gone, but I'm going to leave with you the Holy Spirit.

What's the Holy Spirit? God the Father, God the Son, God the Holy Spirit, Holy Ghost in the Old English. the three parts, the Trinity. So the Holy Spirit remains among you. How is the Holy Spirit manifested by giving you different gifts? One of them is the gift of speaking in tongues. And this is where the Pentecostalists really lean into it. On the day of Pentecost, the Holy Spirit descended,

and the disciples started to speak in tongues. and that forever to this day is the one significant thing that separates the Pentecostalists from the other denominations of Christianity. But all the charismatic denominations are... I love that word, the charismatic. It's great. They're the ones that you see often on the TV, you know, preaching the word and the Bible's in their hands

and they're thumping in there, and the, you know, the robes, the choirs, the clapping, the tambourines, very demonstrative worship. I was raised like that. That was my background and the speaking in tongues because we were Pentecostalists.

And so you had a great community there, right? Because I think the thing that I, because I went back to church in my late 20s and the thing that I loved about, going back was that sense of community. Yeah. That you would see people from up the road, that lived a couple of roads away, families, kids.

You'd bump into them in the street and the week. Hey, how you doing? Yeah. It's a way of getting to know your community. Oh, completely. And you studied theology, right? Yeah. So.

Study theology, your parents must have been proud about that. They were very happy that I was studying, you know, religion and really understanding Christianity. What made them kind of raised in high, bro? was a lot of what I did was comparative religion. So what is the commonality between the five big religions, you know, Sikhism, Hinduism, Judaism, Christianity, Islam. How are they different? How are they so alike? Especially the three Abrahamic religions, Judaism, Islam, Christianity.

Same route. And I found it fascinating. I was just going to say it is fascinating. Especially in the world we live in. where religion and the relationship between religion and politics is so intertwined. I mean, not only symbiotic, but it's inextricably linked in a lot of cases. For me, I sit there and I'm just like, wow, this is riveting, you know. And of course, and then I did all the offshoots where all the religious sects have come from,

And where are the cults come into it? So your Scientology and your Jova's Witnesses and all this stuff. Yeah. So, so interesting. Where are you now with your faith? I have faith very much in a higher energy. You know? I think there is the whole idea of God as human,

form, less so, but I have massive, massive respect and reverence for faith and, you know, religion, including the religion of my own family. But I believe differently to the way they do. They very much believe in the Pentecostal tradition in the literal word of God. Whereas I'm like, this is wonderful. I don't know about that. You know, I can look at the texts and appreciate it for its beauty, its language, but not all the way in like, you know, this is the absolute literal word of God.

Yes, I think I feel exactly the same. That's quite interesting. I think there comes a time in your life where you have to shape or formulate your own beliefs and your own guide. I would say almost exactly the same thing as you. I have faith. Yeah. But it's in, like I call it the universe, really. Yeah, me too.

I always say the universe knows what she's doing. Something's looking out for me. And it very much makes me feel as though I am this small little person in this huge cosmos. Yeah, a cog in a massive. Massive, massive wheel. And we're all interconnected. Yeah. which then informs the way in which I relate to people, how I approach them,

and the way I am with my songwriting, the way I sing, I guess just the inner joy. Yeah. Yeah. So your parents were from Jamaica. Yes. They had you and you were a British child. How was that for them? Oh my God, I love this.

question. Yeah. Oh, good. I love it. Me, my sister, my brother, my sister, Cynthia, my brother, Adrian, Simps older than me, Adrian's younger, attention-seeking middle child. Can't even lie. Can't even lie. Try to get round it, it's true. We grew up with the duality of our existence. We We understood that we were British children, even if the English kids around us didn't. We knew we were English, British, born here, raised here, same as them. And yet we were not the same because our Jamaican parents had informed us with a different lens in which to look at the very Britain that we were. raised because their experience of being British subjects, they travelled to Britain on British passports.

Dad's British passport is still at home. Dad's long gone now, passed away, but still got it. It was so different for them. My dad, I think, particularly found it difficult because a lot of the confrontations. Hostility was aimed up my dad. The man. A lot of the hostility came. The physical confrontational hostility came from men, men to men.

Dad didn't talk about those physical things much at all. But I know he suffered greatly. My dad was not a fighter at all. My dad was a man who would sit and reason with you and talk everything out. Yeah. He wasn't, his best mate who, um, actually is my uncle was, he was the fighter. He was the scrapper, but not dad, not daddy. Mom would answer back.

Mom is where I get that sass from and that kind of, I believe this and I don't care. And I'm, this is what I, and I'm going to say my truth and this is it. Got that from my mom. My dad was a serene, reserved man. I feel like you've got both of those qualities. I do. I do. I do.

I have a lot from both my parents. Yeah, I feel like you do. Yeah, so it was difficult for them. The racism that they faced was not pretty at all. It just manifested in different ways. Was that a shock for them? because obviously they grew up in Jamaica with the British culture, like it's been colonised, you know, knowing what it is to be a Brit

and then coming over and being promised this life. Yeah. All kinds of stuff. And how shocking that must have been to experience what they experienced when you thought you'd be welcomed. Well, it's twofold. There's exactly what you say. They were there to help, to rebuild Britain.

You know, this is Windrush. They were the second wave of Windrush when it was at its peak. Dad came in 59. Mum came in 64. So they got together in Wolverhampton, married in Wolverhampton. The shock, just of the coldness, it wasn't just the physical cold, which was a shock. My God was a shock. Yeah.

I'd never experienced that level of cold before and the constant rain and the grey and the little houses. They saw these houses as being tiny. Brick houses in Jamaica are quite palatial, big. Two stories beyond, you know, wide, lots of space. Came to Britain, terraced housing. They're like, what is this? They didn't know. They just never seen it before.

So there was that shock. but then the shock of being treated so differently. Mum and dad were asked where their tails were hidden. Oh, God. I mean, that basic, the level of ignorance was like, do you know what I mean? But they were. People were genuinely asking, where's your tail?

And this was a, it was a shock because the area of Jamaica, where my parents come from, west, rural, The parish of sent Elizabeth. Tons of white folk. So they've grown up. Yeah. At Jamaica, people think of Jamaica as being just exclusively black. It is not.

It's black. It's white. It's people of Indian, South Asian heritage. It's people of Chinese, mainland China heritage. It's people of Syrian, you know, Lebanese heritage. So Jamaica, the motto is out of many one people. They're not kidding. You go there and you'd be quite surprised

because you'd think everybody's going to be black. They're not, you know, diverse. But it is a majority black country. So when they came to Britain to be treated with such hostility where the weather matched the attitudes, that coldness was like, oh, But because Jamaicans understood British culture as much as they could, you know, being so far away, English people didn't understand a damn thing about Jamaican culture. No one taught them, no one prepared them.

So you had this clash. Not with the Irish, though. That was different because the Irish were going through the same experience. So you had this kind of community where Jamaicans would look out for each other, look after each other. And bit by bit, the thaw started. But it was a very, very, very, very long thaw. Very long thaw. I remember as a child, the National Front marching through the town centre.

Really? Really? And being scared. I remember that ain't no black in the union, Jack, you know, as a slogan. And all the things that many people of my generation, Gen X will tell you, you know, get back to your own country. I'm not, I was born here.

You know, all of that stuff. But we, they overcame. They got past that and eventually settled into a place where they were, it went beyond being tolerated. They were eventually accepted and being part and parcel of, War of Rampton. And then, of course, it starts all over again when different people start coming over, you know, East of Europeans and what have you.

So, yeah, it was tough. And there are still little sections of the black country which are not accepting. So much does change. So much does stay the same. So much stays the same. It's a When you're a mid-sized business, you need every competitive advantage you can get.

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Are you one of those media strategy people clicking through slides, rolling spreadsheets. Yes? Good. This is for you. Because on Spotify, there's an audience that's different. Locked in. Loyal, invested. They're called fans. Fans don't just listen to music. They feel seen by it, like it belongs to them. So when your brand shows up on Spotify, that's who you're talking to. And you're right next to artists like me, Lizzo. So, are you ready to talk to fans? Spotify advertising. You're among fans. wonder what if? Like, what if it doesn't hold up?

That sofa was four days old. You should have ordered from Wayfair. With Wayfair, there's no what if. Just style you love and quality you can trust. Visit Wayfair.ca. Wayfair, every style, every home. It's worrying. Yes, it is, isn't it? And the only way I know, the only arsenal that I have, is leading by love and music

as a way to convey messages of love and joy. and hope and that expectant of hope. And music has a way to tell the truth, but to unite. That's why music is such an important part, not just because I'm someone who makes music, but I'm a music fan. So I gravitate towards music that will help people to find commonality. Yeah.

and not just make you tribal. I've never been that way about music. I like all kinds of music because all kinds of music bring all kinds of people to the table. I thought it was quite interesting because you started off with R&B and then made that kind of,

I mean, I'm all about the pivot. Like I'm always like, anybody can pivot. If you're not happy where you are, be brave, go for change. People hate change, right? They're absolutely terrified of it. We hate change.

We hate change. We like to sit in where we are most comfortable. Even if it's painful. Even if it's painful. That's why we stay in such dreadful relationships for so long and all those kind of things. Lord knows, that's me. That was me, not now. But we as creative people, we itch for change.

because if you grow up with a wide variety of music that you gravitate towards the way I did and I give massive props to my Uncle Hayden who had a... Well done, Hayden. Best music collection. Really? Oh, what were your favourite records from Hayden's music collection? Well, I'm a Prince fan and he introduced him for it, Prince. Did you see him live?

saw him, worked with him, sang with him. Oh, God. It just... Beverly, how did I not know that? What? No, wait. How did I not know that? What, when?

What? How? What? Oh, my God. Prince. No, wait. My biggest regret in life was I didn't see him live. You never saw him live. I never saw him live. You missed one of the greatest... I did.

Oh, God. To ever, racist stage. Sorry. Sorry to me in a book. What a legend. Yeah. How did you meet him? Initially, we met very briefly in 1999.

How app is it? Then we connected properly because in 2007 he came over. Remember he did the 21 nights at the 2002. Yes. He wanted me to open for him. I was one of his opening acts, which I did. Of course, being a Prince fan since age nine and like obsessively at Prince.

Like the two things people at school knew about, about me was A, I could sing, B, I love Prince. You don't know what me? Favorite Prince track. Oh my God. That's hard. Erotic City most days. Oh my God, yeah.

So sexy. Oh, I was your girlfriend. Oh my God, exactly. You see? I love that. Because it's amazing. It's just amazing. It's so clever.

It's so clever. Um, yeah. So I opened for him and then he asked me, He literally physically grabbed hold of me. Well, that arm, actually. Not this one. That arm. Grabbed hold of me and asked me if I would come and join him at his after show at the Indigo,

next door to the O2 Arena, which I did. Then he came and joined me for a track. God. Oh, my God. Yeah, all the Prince fans will tell you. All the Prince fans who was there will tell you. One of the greatest moments of my life. It was beautiful. It was one of the most amazing things that ever happened to me.

What did you sing? We sang so many things because once I was on stage, he wouldn't let me leave the stage. So I sang Sweet Thing, Shaka Khan, Rufus and Shaka Khan's sweet thing with his other backing singers. They were a bit throaty that day. So all the high notes, I kind of sang. And then he actually let me take centre stage because he was so generous and kind. Love him for that. And I sang Rocksteady, so, which you can find online.

I'm immediately Googling. We'll put a link to it. Yeah. And then I did the whole thing again in Los Angeles. He flew me to Los Angeles at his Oscars party to do we all again in front of the great and good of Hollywood. So. But Lee, that's, no, that's amazing. Dreams come true. Yeah, well, what an achievement.

dreams come true. Dreams come true. You made it come true. I manifested that when I was a child. I was like, I'm going to meet him one day. One day I'm going to meet Prince. One day I'm going to sing with Prince. And it happened. And it happened.

Wow. Now hold onto that now that he's not here. I hold onto it so tightly. That's absolutely mega. Your sleep score is low. Are you getting enough five minutes? It can stop. You might remember when Dr. Rang and Chatterjee was on this.

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Download Saly in the app store or by scanning the QR code that's on your screen right now. And for a cheeky 15% off your first purchase, you can use the. the code, Devina, at checkout. That's Davina for 15% off. But that's that, because of Prince, because he was so diverse, he was many genres on one genre all by himself. That opened the door for me to listen to loads of other stuff. So you asked me what I listened to.

So through my uncle, I discovered Bob Dylan and his lyrics and his writing, Bowie, Hendrix. I already had Aretha Franklin. I already had Shaka Khan. I was obsessed with the two of them, later on, Whitney Houston. I had the kind of more what people would obviously associate with me. But the things that people wouldn't necessarily, Parliament and Funkadelic. Oh my God.

You know. Parliament and Funkadelic were like my literally my absolute favourite. George Clinton. Fave, George Clinton, everything, you know. And then, but stuff that people be like, huh? You know, my, my. My uncle listened to the Pixies. You know, he came from that era.

My uncle would, God, I mean, joy division, you know. Wow, that's amazing. Yeah, absolutely, absolutely. There was so much music that I was introduced to that you just wouldn't necessarily associate with me. And that gave me my love of guitars and guitar music. So in my own generation, I very much loved Radiohead still to this day. You know, I really, I loved Blur. I thought they were very clever, especially as they grew, you know, and got older and that.

And Oasis, Morning Glory got me through touring in Europe, which was hard work. First time I did a massive European tour, listening to Morning Glory. But yeah, that's what my music taste just was this huge umbrella, this smorgasbord of stuff that I thought was great, including just pop stuff too. Well, I wanted to talk to you about the fact that you started in R&B and then you went off and you made a pop album. I made a pop album.

Now, that was encouraged by the record label. So as much as I wanted to do my own thing, that was, when you're signed to a label, again, compromise. certain things you've compromised. How did I feel? Did you want to do that? At first, I wasn't sure, but I saw the value of doing it. But I thought if I'm making a pop record, I'm making it the way I want to make it. And also, in the back of my mind is always, what would Prince do? He made pop. Pops all right. You did, yeah. So pop is short for popular. You know, I wanted to be popular.

So I, I, um, my North Star always prints. So I, I made music that would I listen to it? Would I dig it? Yes. And, uh, and it gave me, I mean, the success. Yeah. Once, um, everything had exploded and was wonderful with, with, um, the Who I Am album and shoulda would have could.

Then I went on and made affirmation. Affirmation was a such. a successful album in terms of you look at chart positions and all of the, you know, you look at the data. But what that album cost me and what it did, because come as you are was the jump off single, so many people who were there at the beginning, you know, the kind of R&B purists, soul purists, all those guys were like, huh? You know what I mean?

They were like, what is this? Can't vibe with this. And what was that like for you? It was tough. Because, again, even though I was three albums in, one first album on an independent, two albums with Parlophone, this was my third record with Parlophone by Fourth altogether, there was still this belief in me, childlike,

I'll always be childlike, that because I believed so passionately in what I was doing, doing, I'd get other people to rally around me and I'd get other people just by... So you were shocked. The force of how good it was, you know, they'd come on board. So I was shocked at the backlash. Yeah. It was, and that's how I'd describe it. It wasn't just a dislike.

It was a backlash. So what happened was all the people who were writing about me and, you know, supporting me in the formative years, turned. God, that's so hard. It's hard. It's hard. They turned. And the wider mainstream, who, I'll be real.

They didn't come on board immediately in my career. That took a very long time because they were so enamored to Brit Pop and then became enamored of pop, you know, because the next wave. came spice girls and the boy bands and all of that. We'd already had take that and that. But, you know, that became the big thing. So again, what I was doing wasn't the flavour of the month. I was never part of a trend or a wave or anything.

I was always just me existing, doing what I do to the best that I could do it. So there wasn't a vested interest in what I was doing. So when the cool people kind of turned, the mainstream became indifferent to me. I think that's the best way of saying it. There was a very, well, horrible trend back then of reviewers reviewing albums that they hadn't actually listened to. So they had catchphrases that they would use to, you know, review.

Yeah. I mean, you know, you literally, if an album arrived, you knew the name of the artist, you knew what the genre was, they'd write something, whether it was positive or negative, they had just these little, pithy little phrases that they would churn out and, you know, a smooth soul ride experience. Oh, right, yeah. Do you know what I mean? A pop treasure, just these little phrases that way they would use. And, yeah, I was victim to that. but they certainly weren't all positive. In fact, a lot of them were negative.

So after that very buoyant start your career, how hard was that? It was tough. You decided to change something, which is hard and scary. Because you're a creative, you know, you want to change, you want to pivot. I thought, well, if they listen to the album and they heard the whole thing, but here it's not even, it's not like I've, it's not like I'm going in a radical, you know, change. I'm still me. There's still the soul.

There's still the essence there. I'm just trying new things. I'm just trying to. No, not allowed. Thou must stay in one's lane. You know what I mean? Very interesting. And when, again, when you're a woman,

yeah, it's really tough. When you're a black woman, this is where the stereotyping kicks in. You are expected to be this. And this, your lane is, R&B, supposed you've got to have some kind of street kind of sass to you.

You certainly can't venture outside of that lane. Well, I was like, bollocks, I am. Bullocks, yeah. What are you going to do? I am. So, yeah, the backlash was swift. I found myself, thankfully,

being held together by people who saw what I did on a stage. that was the difference between me and everybody else. I delivered on a stage in a way that few Brits who were in my area of music, broadly speaking, could do. Do you like playing live? I love playing live. I'm very physical performer.

Again, my North Star Prince, I look at Tina Turner. I look at physical performers, James Brown, people. Not that I dance like that, but I move. and I use my entire body and my entire being to convey whatever message it is I'm conveying in my songs, not just the vocal. So that meant that I had a hardcore dedicated life following, which I have to this day, which has grown exponentially year on year. Thank God I was lucky.

But in terms of studio recording, I found myself being on less and less playlists, being in less and less DJ's crates. Old school, call them crates, you know, the vinyl crates. Just this rolling back, this falling away of people. And for a good eight, nine years, that was the state of people. play for me. And in that time, I lost my best friend. He died. Can you tell me about Tyrone?

Tyrone was, oh my God. When you saw Bev, you saw Tyrone. We were inseparable. How old were you when you met? We were both in our late 20s. Where did you meet? At the old Astoria, which is no longer there. The theatre.

I used to go there a lot. Exactly. We met there. There was a R&B night called Off the Hook. Yeah. Big queer, fabulous, brilliant gay night. And I'll always go there. Brilliant music.

I love gay clubs. Oh my God, it was my life. I got the best, right? The best. The music is always so good. Always good. You know. And I love...

I always say I'm a gay man trapped in a woman's body. That's how I feel. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So Tyrone spotted me in the club. Big grin. I need your number. I'm the... Celebrity Booker for the off-the-hook tent at Big Gay Out,

and I need you to perform. And you were like, I have him. Oh, my God, I gave him my number immediately. Can I just also say, he was so beautiful. He was beautiful. Oh, my God. His smile was easy. Beautiful.

I just, I loved him. And that day, we went, we met for lunch the next day, and then that was it. We were inseparable. We were inseparable right until death. So what happened? He, when I met him, he was already quite a long way into his fight with HIV. He'd been hospitalized a few times, various things.

And in the final, to cut a long story short, in the Christmas of 2002, he got very ill. I'd notice his speech was slurring. His vision was going. We had to get him glasses. He started to sound like he was drunk. I knew he wasn't. He started to shut down.

It seemed like his body was shutting down. Rushed him to hospital, when literally jumped in my car, said goodbye to my parents. This was Christmas period. jumped in my car, straight to the Chelsea Westminster Hospital, West London, admitted Professor Gossard, who was looking after him over his case, said, I'm afraid the prognosis is poor. He won't make it. We can extend his life for a couple of months, but without any treatment, you're looking at maybe a couple of weeks. Oh, God. Tyrone, what do you want to do? Tyrone said, I don't want any treatment.

I had to accept that. It nearly killed me. And I was with him when he died. I was in the next room. I was promoting affirmation, which was the album that everyone turned on me on. That was the album. That was the time. So all of this coincided a very difficult point for me.

professionally, trying to promote an album which was actively being rejected by people who I loved and cared about, who I thought would support and understand my creative journey. And I didn't even have Tyrone there. I had my other beautiful besties, my friend Zaz and my friend Monroe and other great friends, but, you know, Ty was physically there and, um, and, um, and, you know, he wasn't. Then he wasn't. So I faced all of this like, oh my God. And then I felt like everything was spiraling. I had a parting of the ways with a parlophone records a few years later. A lot of loss, right? A lot of loss. Tye died in 2003. Affirmation came out. You know, the reviews were mixed.

I promised Tyrone at that time. I would, I describe it as take the baton from him. He was such an activist for the LGBTQ community and their rights and their right to live peacefully and just to exist. And you really didn't take that. And I took that bat on. I had, I was already doing it beforehand. But when he died, I redoubled my efforts and said, I've got to do this because I've got to do this for my boy.

I've got to do this for my Tyrone. And so it became more of a war, a war on ignorance. I tried to lead with love, but sometimes you have to face ignorance with hard words and hard truths. Well, that got me into serious shit. Really? Yeah. I was speaking out about homophobic lyrics. Yeah.

In dance all music. I love dance all. I love it. I hated some of the homophobia that went with it. And especially because it was my heritage, Jamaica and my own heritage, it was seen as being traitorous to my own heritage, which... It wasn't that at all.

It was just, for me, what was right was right. Yeah. Because obviously racism is picking on a minority and homophobia is picking on a minority. It's like you're just trying to fight the same fight but for a different collection of people. But it's funny how people who are in that fight or in a different fight over here,

they can't see that we're all the same. We're all in the same boat trying to be accepted. for who we are. For who you are, yeah. Who we are as we are, as we're born. Lot of loss, lot of loss. When a parlophone, when that deal ended and it was not going to be renewed

and that just came to an end. That's a lot, isn't it? It's a lot. You know, loss, loss, loss. Yeah. And I, but I was, tenacious. You know when you've got that little idea

in the back of your mind, something that you think, you know what, I might do that one day? And then life gets kind of busy and it just sort of stays there. Well, I was thinking about how sometimes overwhelming it can feel when you actually try to start something. Design, writing, photography, payments, tech, all of it. It's a lot.

Well, Shopify, whose sponsors begin again. sort of takes that chaos and it makes it feel achievable. Because it gives you a place to build your shop without needing to be an expert. It's got templates, it's got tools that help you write product descriptions and nudge you along a bit when you get stuck. It means that you can just start. If you've been sitting on an idea or you could just maybe have a look, try it out. Go to shopify.com.

If you want to, you can sign up for £1.5 per month. month trial and you could actually start selling right away. Okay guys I need you in my begin again gang listen it's the most funnest most awesome club in the whole world and I want you to be part of it so when you sign up to our newsletter you get all the bits that I don't share anywhere else things that I'm loving what I'm reading my favorite outfits some of the most gorgeous begin-again stories that you've sent in. I actually really love reading those. One of my favourite parts of the week. And the really fun bit is I will also share some begin-again secrets like what guests we've got coming up and you'll know before anyone else does.

Shh, don't tell everyone. So come and join the best gang ever. The links right below and it just takes five seconds and it's free. I just kept marching one foot in front of the other, creatively, musically. And then, and then in 2013, I had a script fall into my lap. The script was for a musical called Memphis. Yeah. Now I had acted, I'd done acting since I was about six. all the way through

up until I signed my first deal when I was 21 I'd done acting my minor in my degree was performance arts so I studied Bertot Brecht and John Cage and you know

I'd heavy weight but I'd done all this Amdram stuff Wolverhampton Youth Theatre all the productions at school people always remember me from school doing all the productions and I had acted. But this script fell into my lap. Lisa Makin, who was a producer, whose partner was Sir Lennworth Henry. Lovely Lennie. Lisa was an early doors producer of this musical Memphis,

which had had huge success in the US and was coming over. And she said, Beverly Knight would be the right person to play Felicia Farrell, the lead female, because it requires a big voice, big thing. I saw this script and thought, I haven't done any acting for years, but this script is brilliant. Oh my God, this is amazing. They didn't have a theatre, but they just wanted to gauge my interest. I was interested. This was at a time when to be a music artist and then to pivot into musical theatre meant you had failed. Yeah, and also it meant that you could never go back to being a musical artist. You could never be a musical artist.

You're allowed to go one way, but you're not allowed to go back. You can't. Because you had failed. What on earth made you go with that? Because you certainly knew you wanted to carry on doing music. Oh yeah. I was determined to keep making music. The music in that musical was not what M.T. people call legit.

It wasn't all this kind of singing. Very Julie Andrews. It wasn't that. It was music that I... It was music I could relate to. Yeah. It was old school blues and gospel because it was set in 1955

a white DJ falls in love with an aspiring black singer in Memphis. It is literally against the law, anti-mesegenation laws. And we say, their love blossom at the time, this is 1955, where teenagers, this new social category called teenagers, were discovering this new explosion of this music called rock and roll.

So this play, like I said, they hadn't had the theatre or anything. So I had that in my back pocket. At the same time, a lovely young woman called Scarlett, who I didn't know from a tree, but was a musical theatre fanatic, had tweeted, and I just happened to see this tweet. Yeah. When Twitter was wonderful. Not so much now.

The Bodyguard is having a cast change. She had retweeted it. I had seen it. It had come upon my feed. The Bodyguard. Oh, there's a musical called The Bodyguard. I mean, it passed me. I hadn't even realised they'd made a musical of the Bodyguard.

They're doing a cast change. I know those songs like I know myself. Yeah, right, okay. I mean, talk about my lane. Talk about what I knew. I knew I could act. I knew I had the vocal chops to sing those songs because I'd sung them.

I'd sung them at school. I'd sung them my whole, you know, existence since Whitney came out. I knew the film. I went to the cinema to watch the film. I loved it. I thought, I can do this. I know I can do this. It's the West End.

I've never been on a West End stage before, but I know I have the ability. And if there is any gaps in my ability, I'll work so hard until I cover those gaps. I knew what I was like. You know, thank God I had two grafting parents who would instilled ethic into me, that work ethic. I asked management, my then management,

get me an audition. How do I do this? you just got to make this work. Well, were they a bit like, oh, Beverly, it's not a good idea because it looks like you failed at music. They liked Memphis. They were quite surprised when I talked about bodyguard, but they understood because Whitney.

Right. You can count the people on one hand who were going to be able to do it and took all the right boxes, right, age, you know, the whole, everything. So I said, just sort of, just get me in. the room. Three weeks after seeing that tweet, I got the role of Rachel Marin.

Yes. And then the West End were like raised eyebrows. Okay, because this thing of stunt casting, putting a celeb in a role to get bums on seats. Right. People were like, I get it. She can sing it. Can she act? Can she do any of those things?

You like that. And I was like, just see. Just come and see. It took about a week. It took about a week and all of that went out the window. The narrative changed inside of a week. What did that feel like? It felt wonderful.

It felt wonderful. And everybody in the cast knew that I was prepared to put the work in. Right. Because the area that I didn't have, that didn't come naturally to me, was a choreography, all the dance stuff. I'd never trained a step. I wasn't that person. That was not me. And I didn't have it. I was a mover, what we call a strong mover. So, you know, I could pick up things if I drilled them and if you spent hours with me. But it took me ages. I wasn't. I didn't have that natural. The bill is amazing.

Amazing. When you show them something and you show it to them once and they've done it. And they've got it. Now, my brain worked like that with music. I can hear a song once. My brain immediately identifies the patterns and I can go to it and I'm there. I didn't have that at all in my body. Not at all.

So I really had to work hard to get all the... Because you don't have to work hard at anything else. That's good. It was good. I found it challenging. My husband, Jay. James really was my biggest cheer leader when it came to all of that. He got right behind and said, Bev, you can do this.

You know, don't worry about this. I was worrying about the dancing. How lovely. He was like, Bev, I'm telling you, you're going to go out there. You're going to smash the dancing. You're going to be great. You're a show off. You can show off.

Whatever technical stuff isn't brilliantly correct. You can style it out. And I styled it out. He understood the power of pivoting and he knew that this could be the beginning of something else. I felt like I was starting again in many ways even though I'd had all the skills.

Those skills that I had from a tiny child all of them kicked in. I don't know why the universe gave me all of that stuff when I was a kid. They wanted you here. But they wanted me clearly to be in this position at this point. in my life and it all kicked in.

It worked. The bodyguard had been struggling, apparently. It was, you know, due to close a musical called Made in Dagenham starring Gemma Arterton was going to come into the Adelphi Theatre where the bodyguard was. And that had been agreed. So the bodyguard's time was limited. But before it was going to run out altogether, they wanted to do a cast change, a complete cast change,

because Michael Harrison just believed in the piece and thought, there must be something more. There's more to this. We just need the right bodies in the building. It just worked. All of us, us humans working together, that was the right combo. That was the spark.

The bodyguard turned around and is now this huge success around the world. It's just, and I'm so glad. You should be proud too. That's Megan. I am proud. I am proud. And then I left the bodyguard because the theatre. For Memphis was ready.

So it was like, Bev, we need you. Remember that script? So I left, come to the end of my contract. I'd extended my bodyguard contract, but then I had the ability to just go. So I left that launched. Alexandra Burke's career, so it was wonderful for her and she's gone on to great success. And I went into Memphis, which earned me my first Olivier nomination. Yeah, and you've had three, right?

And I've had three and I won. Maga, you won. It's supporting actress, right? Best supporting actress for Sylvia. I want to finish on a bit of your story where you kind of. of amplify women's health and obviously because I'm I'm so into that and yeah and I and I love what you what you do and around black women and their health because as we know black women can enter menopause early yep and also the fibroid situation can you just tell me

what happened to you so not long after the whole the whole the bodyguard and this beginning again and me getting my new lease of life and I'm in my 40s now. My hair started to just drop, you know, started to break up the hair shaft. And I was like, oh, you know, what's going on? What have I put in my hair? What have I, I've ruined my what have I done to my hair? I couldn't think what it was. But anyway, then I had terrible cystic acne broke out out of nowhere it would appear. I didn't know it was periorenipause. It was beginning.

And then in around 2014, 2015, I noticed a lump here in my abdomen. And I'll be honest, I ignored it because I was doing the bodyguard for the second time. and I thought, it's probably a hernia, but I've got this contract to do. If it's a hernia, I'll get the contract done and then we'll get it sorted and we'll sort it out. At first I thought I was pregnant. The pregnancy tests, I was like, oh, Jesus, I can't be pregnant.

40 how much I can't be pregnant. And I never wanted to have children. It just wasn't something I wanted for myself. Pregncy test, negative, negative. What the hell is this? But it was raised on one side. It wasn't like it was a uniform. Right.

bulge, you know, I'll sort it after the contract. I started to feel not right, not queasy, not unwell. Yeah, it was. I started to have weird headaches, started to feel like I wasn't in control of my own body. This spring, denim gets a softer, lighter update. Introducing Old Navy's drapey denim wide leg, a new fit. that moves with you. It's everything you want denim to feel like for summer. Easy, breathable and effortlessly cool. With a fit that creates natural movement and a wide leg that feels modern,

not overwhelming. Plus, that signature, wait, for this price, moment. Old Navy's drapey denim wide leg. Long story short, while I was in Canada, doing the bodyguard again, went to the doctor, went to the hospital, just to see what was going on. I hadn't connected anything. dots. First thing they do is take your blood pressure. It was through the roof. No. I didn't know that was a symptom. Through the roof. Wow. What had happened was I had fibroids. That was the lump. So no. Like how many fibroids did you have? I had six fibroids. Wow. One of them was a large, a very large orange. That was, that one sat there saying hello to me every day that I was ignoring.

And the fact that I was feeling unwell and not right was because my blood pressure was so high. When they kept me in hospital, I said, I'm on stage later. You're not. We're keeping you in. They couldn't believe I hadn't had a stroke. They were stunned. That's how bad my blood pressure was. That's what it can do to you, fibroids.

Because it was squeezing on my urethra, which was sending. the wrong signals to the kidney and the brain saying pump more blood, pump more blood. I feel like not enough women know about fibroids. No, they don't. And it was threatening my vital organs. I had an episode when I was doing children in need where I was singing I will always love you, packed Albert Hall. And I fainted in front of five and a half thousand people for children in need. Fainted.

Oh, God. To stop everything. All of this was symptomatic of what was going on inside of me, but I didn't know it was going on inside of me. It was only when I went to that hospital because I didn't feel right. And I thought it was some little, something in something. You knew.

Yeah. So I was on a battery of drugs to get me through, to bring my blood pressure down. Never mind the fiber is the big thing at that time was we've got to get your blood pressure under control. You could have a stroke. It's serious. I cried, I cried, I cried.

They got me under control where I could just exist normally. A couple of scares. I got home and my womb was so misshapen and I was in perimenopause. So this is all compacted. Yes. One thing on top of the other. They said, we can't do keyhole because we've got to open you up. We've got to open you up.

You're going to have to have pretty, you know, major surgery. Hysterectomy, we can try drugs, we can try other things, we can try and shrink them. The choice is yours. And I had a choice. Do I pump myself full of more drugs? Yes. Which I didn't want to do because... And if you've been pretty clean, it's not a very nice feeling I'm going to do that.

That's it. Again, James was right there holding my hand through all these choices. I'm so clean, you know, health and wellness is so important to me. Do I do this? Try and take a battery of drugs to shrink the thing and it probably come back. Or do I say, okay, we have made a decision we're not going to have children anyway. Let me just have this total abdominal hysterectomy. I chose the hysterectomy. Can I ask you something?

Yeah. Because I felt like when I, um, when I, hit menopause, I didn't want to have any more children. Yeah. But when I couldn't, I was gutted. And I didn't want anymore. No. But it's this idea.

It's this loss. Yes. It's the idea of loss. And I knew it was going to save my life. You, yeah. Save me so that I could be me and carry on and have a life. Have a life. But at the same time, I'm more.

mourned the loss of this part of me that totally relates to that. I know, I know, because you've been one of the biggest advocates. You're not just of this country, but anywhere in the world of what it is to go through menopause. But, I mean, researching, and I have to credit you with a lot of this, because you'd spoken up so fervently and so comprehensively about the experience. experience of menopause and fibroid, you know, hysterics, me and all of that, because you had spoken, it gave me something to research, to look into, what is this going to be like? How am I

going to feel? How is menopause going to affect me? Because it will come very early, you know, the full menopausal. Yeah, no, you know. You don't get the slow down. You get, I didn't get any slowed down it was, here we go. Yeah, it hit me like a ton of bricks. It was tough going. Tough going. I had no idea. I mean, it's terrible, right? Like, we should all know this stuff because it's not like it's not going to happen to anyone.

It's going to happen to every single woman. We don't know about it. Right. Whatever it is, 52% of the world's population or whatever the stat is, is us. we're going to face this we're going to face this and the worst symptom the anxiety

yes I am if you've learned anything from this is that I'm confident confident woman confident in myself in my abilities and what I do anxiety out of nowhere

yeah and ridiculous anxiety over ridiculous things over nonsense Yeah. I had the same thing. I didn't want to drive to the supermarket because I would have to drive back in the dark. I mean, me, driving in the dark, I've jumped out of a helicopter over the Grand Canyon. Like, who was I, you know? Oh my God. Awful. I thought, up with this I will not put. So I really started to look into. Up this. I will not put. I started to look into, you know, the whole thing of HRT and all the, that stuff. All I'd ever heard was horror stories. All I'd ever heard was horror stories. And then I found a podcast, a female doctor who had bought into the whole HRT is terrible

until she went through it herself and turned to HRT and realized, huh? And then did loads of research. And then now her specialist subject, if you like, is treating women who are men. a pausal and giving them the best advice she can and to guide them through HRT and to disprove a lot of the flawed studies that happened ages ago on HRT because not enough money and research is done on women's health and especially older women. It's not just crazy. It's actually disgusting. It's disgusting.

I agree. And I heard that podcast, that chance. changed everything for me. And I said, I'm going to look into HRT. It gave me me back. Yeah. So many women say I just don't feel like myself anymore. And I think that's such a brilliant description of it.

I just feel out of sorts. I'm not who I was. And it is like coming back, I think. Yeah. I came back. And so my 50s of being great because I came back. I came back. I made it back.

I am going to finish it. I will let you go in a minute. But I want to quickly finish on your tour. Born to perform. Right? So you're going to be doing like you are blending. You're doing the unthinkable. You're blending your music career and your musical career.

A little bit of everything. Yeah. I want people to understand what has gotten me to this point in my life. So I'm going back to the beginning with my earliest influences. Who influenced me? Who was on this journey? Who supported me? You know, celebrity endorsements and all the rest of it.

The hit records. The bit in the middle where I pivoted to musical theatre and how it gave me another chance at life. And now to where I am now. You're going to see me a lot this year. I just want to let you know I'm coming to all of it. Me and Michael. Good.

But I just want to thank you for coming on. You've been very inspiring. Thank you. You're such a positive light in the world. It's really, and I've always loved you. We've always got on whenever we've seen each other. Over the years and years. I knew this would be this.

Yeah. So I just want to say thank you. It's a pleasure. Beverly Night, everyone. Thank you for having me. I love you. I love you. Your energy is just so beautiful.

So just in case you missed this episode here, if you love this episode, I know you're going to love that.