Begin Again with Davina McCall - Managing Anxiety: Begin Again Moments

Episode Date: April 12, 2026

In this week’s Moments episode, we bring you two powerful clips from full Begin Again conversations exploring the reality of anxiety and how to navigate it. Fearne Cotton opens up about her personal experience with anxiety, reflecting on the period of her life that triggered it and how it continues to show up in unexpected ways. She shares the challenges of living with racing thoughts, disrupted sleep, and the pressure of environments that no longer feel safe, while also offering an honest look at the progress she’s made and the self-awareness she’s built along the way. Following that, mental health expert Owen O’Kane offers a grounded and reassuring perspective on anxiety, explaining why it’s a natural human response rather than something that defines us. He explores how anxiety can become something we rely on for protection, and shares practical ways to better understand and manage it without letting it take over. This is a Moments episode, featuring two impactful clips designed to give you insight, perspective, and practical takeaways in a short space of time. The full conversations with Fearne and Owen are available now wherever you get your podcasts, just search their names, or watch them here on YouTube: Fearne Cotton: https://youtu.be/XZHZ_Ltbv08 Owen O’Kane: https://youtu.be/fR2WPgWBtRM ✨ Access theBegin Again newsletter here: https://linkly.link/2g2xx Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Don't miss what the movie blog calls something you need to watch. Saving those children is how we all go home. From binge all episodes exclusively on Paramount Plus. Where do you think this staying up all night and thinking about something and going over something you said comes from? Is there an event in your life where you think, oh my God, you know, I said this to someone and this happened? Yes. Yes. I mean, I went through a whole ton of shit in my late 20s, early 30s. And I guess I've spent the last seven years writing and talking around. events, but never about them necessarily, talking more about the feelings and the repercussions

and the hangover from it. And it was a deeply challenging era that still troubles me greatly. And I'm still in therapy every damn week. And I'm very lucky to be able to do so. And I'm still triggered by the same things. I'm still unnerved by stuff in my past. But there is a lovely incremental climbing out of a big deep ditch that I was in. And it is a bit of a wiggly line, but it's definitely a wiggly line that goes up. And I really, really felt it. We just had the Happy Place Festival in Manchester. Yeah, I saw that. And on the Sunday, I felt so overwhelmed, but in the best way. And I stood on the stage, thanking everyone for coming,

and I could have wept my heart out. But I was so happy and I was so content and I was so comfy with feeling like it was okay to have all those people there, not sort of undeserving or out-of-body experience. I thought, yeah, I've done this, and this is fucking great. And I felt really happy.

But in my body, I wasn't like euphoric floating around. And it really made me think back to like, say, 13 years ago, an unrecognizable person who no way could have done that. But I've still got a long way to go. There is no way I would want to host a live TV show. I would want to host a live radio show. There is no way that I could sleep in, I don't know, a house with a bike. bunch of people that I don't know really, really well, or even that I do know well,

sleep's a massive issue still. So I've still got these really niche things that I can't get over. Yes. I cannot get. And I will, but I feel, and I've got over, like I couldn't drive on the motorway at one point for about five years. I didn't drive on the motorway. And I have conquered that one. So I know they're conquerable, but I can't do it at the moment. I don't know why. I really, really struggle with those three things. And then there are a few others. but they're the big ones that I don't even know where to begin. But if you said,

oh, you've got to go and do live TV show now and present it like I did for hundreds of years before, no way. There's no way. So you were okay doing it at the beginning? Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, more than okay. I was complacent.

I was just like talking to you now. There was no switch that went on where I was on live TV. I was just doing it. You know, from a very young age. I did live TV from 16. It's Disney, right? Yeah, we did Dig It, which was, I did Disney Club, which was pre-recorded, then from 16 onwards.

Digit, yeah. Digit was live. Smile was live, did with Reggie. I had a whole host of live TV shows, back-to-back, top of the pops was live at one point. I didn't even feel nervous. I used to love it, used to thrive in that environment. Now I would have a panic attack in heartbeat. There's no way.

And it's not even directly rooted to that era. There's nothing about what I was going through that is directly related to the outcome. But that's the weird thing I think we're going through challenging stuff that these sort of darts, these arrows end up going into all these different bits of your life that are unrelated and you can't figure out the root of it or why, but they're there. And you become, you know, you become sort of obsessional about them, which is the problem. So I would like to tackle those down the line.

Luckily, my career isn't dependent on it these days, and I'm grateful for that. But I would like to, just for my own confidence, and just to sort of overcome more areas, especially the sleep one. I would love to sort that out. Talk me through your sleep? My sleep is not great. I mean, I just have to have the right environment, and then I can sleep. So I, for the majority of the time, sleep in the spare room, because I am so obsessional about noise, whether it's my husband's. snoring, which many people do, or if I'm in a new environment, like I'm not a fan of hotels,

because I don't know if there's going to be thick enough double glazing, or if doors are going to shut in corridors. If I hear, like, doors shutting, I know I'm screwed. I will not sleep. And before, I could sleep anywhere. I would be able to sleep on the rug there in a heartbeat. You know, I spent my life in my 20s going from different time zones. I never got jet lagged.

I'll just sleep anywhere. Now, any noise, and I'm on high alert. And then my heart starts racing and I can feel panic and adrenaline and these big adrenaline rushes. And then I'm just up all night. So, and I, that relates again to like if I had, when I was still pushing through and sort of, if I was covering for Zoe on radio two, I used to cover for her on breakfast. Knowing that I had that the next day, I definitely wouldn't sleep.

And I'd be catastrophizing all night, catastrophizing. And I can do it. my eyes closed. Like I know how that show works. I love doing it when I'm there. But the level of catastrophizing would give me these big adrenaline rushes and then I would just be awake all night. And it got to the point where, you know, two weeks in, I was on my knees. And I had to say to the head of Radio 2, I love doing this show so much and I could do it with such ease. But the night before is torture and I can't do it to myself anymore. And it was horrible saying that. I wanted to do the job, but I couldn't do it. And I still couldn't do it now. There's no way. So, God, this is,

this is amazing because I, I, I read you as like such a calm person, but I think you keep yourself in a calm environment. Yeah. In an environment that's safe for you. Yeah. But I still, you know, so there was, I don't want you to talk about something you don't want to talk about. So there was something that happened. Yeah. That triggered. But you did. You do. You do. You know, I don't want you. I, you didn't really have anxiety at all before that? No, no, no. I don't suppose I did. I mean, I, no, I don't suppose, I don't think I'd ever felt.

I mean, understand normal nerves for a live TV show. Absolutely. Like nerves if I had a big new, like when I started doing children in need and I was in my early 20s, you know, that was a big deal. I was in love with Sir Terry and I still am. And that felt like, you know, there would be healthy nerves. But I would do the job just fine. I would sleep the night before.

Right. I'd feel fine. but that has gone out the window. Maybe it's possible to go back to Fien like that. But it's so weird because say doing this or say when I'm doing my podcast or on a stage doing a big talk in front of thousands of people feel fine.

Totally fine. Yeah. Unbelievably calm and actually so connected to what I'm doing and engaged with it. I'm not disassociating. I'm not floating out my body. I love it. Like doing the festival this weekend.

We had thousands of people. I'm doing talks on the stage. Absolutely fine with public speaking. It's something about being in other people's domain, like doing something for the BBC, doing something for ITV, where I'm not on my turf. I'm on their turf. Anyone could say anything to me.

I've got to deliver what they want me to deliver. Do I know what that even is? How am I meant to be? It's all too confusing for my brain. And the pressure is way too much. Way too much. So I have found, luckily, ways of forging a new career. I'm so grateful I've had a part two, which is on my terms and it's been a slow burn, but we're in really good place now. And it works for me. And I can create projects where I feel safe and I feel comfortable, luckily. And I feel like I've got a purpose behind it now, which I maybe didn't before, didn't necessarily have. that like this is why I'm getting out of bed in the morning. So I've been really, really lucky that I can keep working.

Because for some people, you can't, you know, you can't do that one thing that you know how to do. So I've been able to shape shift a little bit. But, you know, it's been rough along the way, but it feels good now. Need a vehicle that isn't afraid to make a splash? That's the Volkswagen Touse. Capable and confident. The Volkswagen Touse is fit for a lot.

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the ability to have conversations. So now things are much more, like back in the day, like even back in my day, you just didn't talk about depression or anxiety or mood or even addictions. Things just weren't talked about. So things were buried and put onto the carpet and there was very much a mentality of just kind of get on with it and plow through. Whereas I think actually now that really has started to evolve. So of course, the more aware people become, you know, they then suddenly start to think, oh God, it doesn't feel quite right. So things then do feel a bit more threatening. And not only the external world, but I think people,

are starting to become more aware of their internal workings. Now, there's a double ed sword here. I think there's a danger that people over pathologize themselves. Because I think, you know, when I hear people say, oh, I'm an anxiety suffer and I say, no, you're not, you experience anxiety. So I'm not interested in plowing people with diagnostic labels or I don't believe in the word disorders. I don't think anyone is disordered. I think we need to remove that anxiety disorders, depressive disorders. I think human beings fluctuate. Sometimes their mood can drop, sometimes their anxiety can increase and sometimes we're in between and other things can happen around that but I think it's part of the human condition to fluctuate and I think we've got to get much

better at saying, okay, rather than see yourself as an anxiety sufferer or I'm anxious, no, no, no, you experience anxiety and you're experiencing a very healthy normal human mechanism, but sometimes that part of you, the skirt part of you, works way harder than it needs to. And I think it's a much more helpful way to think about anxiety. And I do believe, you know, and look, I know the addiction community. Some people are going to, you know, have a go and say, oh, it's not an addiction. I never. I disagree.

Well, as a former addict, I can give you a little bit of an insight into that. I disagree with that. I think that addiction would be very easy to get addicted to. I can, when you were talking about that in here, I was like, like, no, no, I must talk to you about that and say because addiction has its benefits. Of course it does. Of course it does. And I mean, anxiety has its benefits. That's what I was trying to say. So anxiety is helpful. Yeah. For me, low level anxiety, cortisol has that I've kind of had all my life with my mum being an alcoholic ready for anything. Oh my God. Are you going to streak? Are you going to get drunk? Are you going to arrest someone? My mom used to citizens arrest people. all the time.

Like, it was like, all the time. I was ready for anything. Bring that to work. Amazing. I'm so alert and on it and full of energy and like, people pleaser. Yeah.

Want to do the right thing. I was like, I like this feeling. So it's that weird high that you can get from anxiety. Yeah. And it's a lot. You talk about that. Yeah. And you've described that brilliantly there

because every addict I've ever met to work with in my entire career. will have a love, hate relationship with their addiction. So there'll be part of it is like, oh, fucking hell. I know I shouldn't be doing this and I don't want to do it, but I'm going to still do it. And you'll find exactly the same thing with anxiety because they won't like the feelings that come with anxiety,

but then when you try and take it away from them in therapy, they will resist you, they will fight you, they will fucking bring you down because they don't want to let go of it. And there's, I don't know if you remember from the book, but there's this brilliant moment. And this book was born quite a few years ago before I even started to write it. So I was running a group in the NHS,

and this was for like 16 people, chronic anxiety. They'd been everywhere, all sorts of treatment. The psychiatrist I was working with at the time knew I had an interest in trauma and anxiety. And he said, why don't you set up a group? These are people that some services have given up on. They've been everywhere. Why don't you set up a group and see what you can do with them?

So he kind of gave me a free rein to work with them. And I said, okay, let's do it. So anyway, I set up this group and about eight weeks into the treatment, I noticed that they were all starting to improve every one of them. Things were later in the room. There was a lot more banter. They were coming in. They were sharing stories. You could see there was a real sense of freedom starting to move into their lives.

So me being the, you know, responsible therapist at the time, I thought, okay, I'm going to feed back to them that I think, you know, I really noticed a good improvement. So I say to him, look, you know, eight weeks into the program. brilliant to see everyone looks and feels and sounds a lot later than they were. And the minute I said it, it was like, fucking hell. Like, you wouldn't have heard a pin drop. It was just like deadly silence. And I thought, I said, what's the silence about? And this one guy who was a recovering addict, brilliant guy, I remember him saying,

fucking hell. He said, I thought giving up, coke was hard. He said, giving this up's hard as well. And then they all laughed. He said, this is as, you know, this is as addictive as Coke. And then when we started to explore it a bit more, they were all able to acknowledge that the thought, the moment I named recovery meant that they were moving,

moving away from the anxiety, and that became frightening. Yes. So the letting go of anxiety became a real concern, and they all got what he said. But not only did they get it. I got it. And I remember thinking, there is an addictive component to anxiety because it comes with a promise of safety. Yes. It's going to protect you. So even though it might feel uncomfortable in the body, in the mind, the emotional states, the behaviours, actually, if the alluring

promise in the background is, I'm going to make sure that nothing happens to you. I'm going to make sure that you don't get rejected. I'm going to make sure that you don't feel. People really struggle to let that go. Okay, guys, I need... you in my Begin Again gang. Listen, it's the most funnest, most awesome club in the whole world and I want you to be part of it. So when you sign up to our newsletter, you get all the bits that I don't share anywhere else. Things that I'm loving, what I'm reading, my favourite outfits, some of the most gorgeous Begin Again stories that you've sent in. I actually really love reading those. It's one of my favourite parts of the week.

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