Begin Again with Davina McCall - Richard Bacon: Headlines, Addiction & Love “I Wouldn’t Be Alive Without Her”

Episode Date: August 6, 2026

What if your worst moment is actually your biggest gift? In this episode of Begin Again, broadcaster and television producer Richard Bacon joins Davina for a funny and deeply moving conversation about public failure, addiction, ADHD, love and building a new life after everything changes. Richard reflects on landing his dream job at Blue Peter, the betrayal by a close friend that turned his private life into a national headline, and what it felt like to lose everything so publicly at just 22 years old. He shares how unexpected people rallied around him, why the chaos that once got him into trouble later became one of his greatest strengths, and how he learned to keep moving forward when others believed his career was over. Together, Richard and Davina explore his relationship with addiction, his ADHD diagnosis in his forties, and the relief of finally understanding the way his mind works. Richard explains how that diagnosis helped him make sense of both his scattered attention and extraordinary ability to hyperfocus, and why the qualities he once struggled with have become central to his creativity and success. But this conversation is about much more than headlines. Richard speaks movingly about his wife Rebecca, the excitement of falling in love, and the grounding force she has been throughout their marriage. He recalls being told by his doctor that he might not be alive without her, and the terrifying moment, one year later, when he was placed into a coma and his family were warned that he might not survive. This is a conversation about love, public failure, second chances and finding the people who help you stay grounded when life becomes chaotic. If you’ve ever felt defined by a mistake, struggled to understand your own mind, or wondered whether it’s possible to rebuild when life goes completely off script, this episode is for you. ✨ Discover Richard’s podcast, Why Are You More Successful Than Me:Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/why-are-you-more-successful-than-me-with-richard-bacon/id1895025167 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@WhyAreYouMoreSuccessfulThanMe  Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6yWlm1mVITUj5DBDo15YAg  🌟 Like, comment and subscribe for more honest conversations about purpose, resilience, love, loss and beginning again. Tap the bell so you never miss a new episode. Follow us here: 📸 www.instagram.com/beginagain 🎥 https://www.tiktok.com/@beginagainpod ✨ Sign up for the Begin Again newsletter for behind-the-scenes access, recommendations and much more: https://linkly.link/2g2xm  We'd love you to share your Get Busy Living stories with us at https://getbusyliving.beginagainshow.com/ (00:00) Intro(01:14) Intro to Richard Bacon(08:49) Richard's parents, their relationship, and his upbringing(11:10) Fidning Broadcasting(12:47) First job in live TV(17:08) How Richard got banned from the State Opening of Parliament with Newsbunny(20:09) Richard talks about some of the crazy shows he worked on early in his TV career(21:36) Getting banned from McDonalds for life(22:55) ADHD diagnosis in his 40s(27:21) Meeting his Wifem Rebecca(28:21) Monzo Ad(29:23) Ancient & Brave Ad(36:54) Landing Presenting Slot on Blue Peter(42:49) The Scandal that got him Fired(43:51) His Best Friend Leaking The Story To The Press(48:40) Shopify Ad(53:54) The Aftermath of Getting Fired(58:16) Getting into Radio and deciding to move to LA(01:05:50) Richard's near death experience and going into a coma(01:07:28) Richard's relationship with alchohol(01:11:02) What's next for Richard, how much he loves change Sponsored by: Monzo - Download Monzo. Monzo Current Accounts are for 16+ and UK residents. Ts&Cs Apply. Ancient + Brave - https://ancientandbrave.earth/pages/planet and use code BEGINAGAIN for 20% off your order Shopify - https://shopify.co.uk for £1 a month trial Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The doctor said to me I'm surprised you're not dead. She's keeping you alive. Oh my God, that is amazing. I know. Falling in love. Subconsciously it might keep me alive. Oh, I love that. I think there were three things I wanted when I was young.

I wanted to have my own business. I wanted to broadcast or be an MP. There's only one you've been able to do. There's still time, Richard. I think it's unlikely. There's too many stories. In television, it was an anarchic time. But you've enjoyed it.

I did not do. I just decided to tell Blue Peter that I was naughty. And all these things I'd done, chasing James Hewitt down the street, getting thrown out McDonald's for life. I'd warn them in effect. So they should have seen the early warning sign because then it did go wrong. But then you lose your dream job.

I'll tell you what happened. It's news of the world, cocaine and lots of it. But you have a very good, loving relationship. I would not have predicted that I would stay married. Because I obviously am an addict. Just talk to me about that. The doctor goes, we've looked at your... It's bad.

We need to put you into a coma in the next 20 minutes. Oh my God, wait, stop. Wait, wait, wait, wait. That should be dead, I think. So you must have had that feeling of I've been saved. Why have you been saved? I think... Richard Bacon.

Hi, Divina. On my list of people that I wanted to interview when I started this podcast, you were like top 20. That's fair. Why? I really admire you. Oh, thanks. I think you're very brave. I think you've taken risks in this industry

and when it's quite easy to stay safe and stay where you are you've kind of just gone, nope, not doing that, going over here. And also I am obviously married to Michael. Oh, I know. Michael loves you. Yeah, I love Michael. I mean, I've known him for 15 years now. I mean, I really like Michael.

I mean, it's funny, I've sort of been in your life without ever, we haven't like spent that much time together. That's how I feel about you. Yeah, it's interesting, isn't it? Because of Michael. Because of Michael. I mean, because of Michael. So he's always, like, I met Michael, and I don't know why he started doing my hair.

And by the way, he's done my hair for today. Yes. I called him Friday. So this is a Monday. I called him Friday. Mike, I'm going on your wife's podcast. And there's only one person who actually does my hair well. In my entire life, I've only met one person who can do my hair and make it look good.

And it's Michael Douglas. And so I've known him and then known you through him. And it was just interesting watching both of you kind of get together, you know, leave marriage. And I was watching that, not exactly as a spectator, but my wife Rebecca also loves Michael as you. Yeah. And I mean, he loves her. Yeah. And another thing that I've loved about you vicariously through him is your relationship. Yeah. You have a very good, solid, loving relationship. And I really respect that. And I really respect the way you talk about Rebecca. It's interesting. I really love Rebecca. And I think, She's, the two best decisions I made, I think, is an adult, were definitely her.

And the other one was a strange one, which was moving to Los Angeles and the impact that I had on my life. We'll talk about, I'm sure. I definitely. I mean, this is one of the bravest things I think you've ever done. Yeah, it was out there and not really, like, fully thought through. And a lot of friends are like, what are you doing? What do you mean you going to Los Angeles? And it ended up changing my career because now I come up with TV formats for living.

But it was all the process of living there. But Rebecca is, yeah, she's about, I mean, I don't know if I'd even be alive without Rebecca. In fact, my ADHD doctor explicitly said that. He explicitly said you'd be dead if it wasn't. He said you'd be dead if it wasn't for her. Do you know what I love already? We've already gone like in a thousand different directions, which I know I'm going to talk to you about at some point.

And this is what I knew I'd enjoy talking to you, because it's like exciting. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, we've both got similar energy, I suppose. We've also both been around a long time. We were both on TV in the 90s. And if you think about that, I mean, that's basically 30 years ago, isn't it? I mean, if you met someone our age in the 90s who'd been on TV in the 60s,

do you know what I mean? You would think they were so old, wouldn't you? It'd be like, cry. I'd go back to it, 95, 96 and meeting someone who introduced the Beatles on the Ed Sullivan show or something. That is pretty much the gap that we're talking about. So I want to go back to the beginning. Go on then.

To you in Nottinghamshire. Yeah. And I'd like to talk to you about an incident that happened to your mum when you were very little. Yeah. And she was in an accident. Yeah, she got burnt. Yeah.

Quite badly. I'm really happy. I didn't know. You knew about that. But I'm happy to talk about that. Yeah. Because I feel like you were, what, five? Yeah. No, she was five.

Oh, she was five. Now, what happened was, I mean, this had a very profound impact on her, and I think on all of us, because I've read some really interesting science as well about mum's, if your mum go through childhood trauma, it can cause ADHD and offspring. I've read a load of science on this recently. So she went through a really significant trauma. She was five years old. She grew up in a pub in a mining town called Blidworth, and she was lying in front of an electric fire.

And she caught fire. And she to this day got scars all over her shoulders, all over her body down to about here. And they expected her to die in the hospital. And her sister, there was a bottle of, there was some lettuce in a bowl of water in the kitchen in this pub. And Yvonne, my aunt, grabbed it and threw it on my mum's face. And that is the thing that saved her face from being burnt, which obviously would have truly changed the outcome of her whole life. And it was very severe. and she had

her dad was horrible a deep alcoholic just a horrible bloke Jack I'm not worried about calling him horrible because he was horrible yeah

but I remember she told me this story where mom and I went to therapy together which was really interesting wait why when when I was living in Los Angeles

I think because I was doing therapy and my therapist said as they always do they talk about your relationship with your mum right they just do and one day

I said the therapist and I said, oh, my mum's in town. Why not I just bring her to that much? Why not I just bring her to therapy? And she went, oh, my God, I love that. And it was so, so interesting. I'm potentially starting a podcast called, not with me in it, but called Take Your Mum to Therapy, where a Celebrity Goes Therapy with their mum,

because it's so interesting. And I sat there with her and you're guided by an expert. And she just told stories in a way I hadn't heard before, but she talked about, she said, I could remember being five and in the ambulance going to hospital. completely burnt and just holding a dad's hand saying,

Dad, am I going to die? Am I going to die? And when she was telling me that, the first time she told me that story, but actually was in therapy, my daughter was only a little bit older than that at the time. And then he started to imagine, okay, imagine Ivy is doing that to me.

And then I started crying in front of my mum, which I've never really done before. Have you not? No. So did you, because you were talking about your mum had a very difficult relationship with her dad. Yeah. but meeting your dad, you know, trusting another man.

Yeah. How old was she when she met your dad? I think sort of 18, 19, something like that. Working in, my dad's a lawyer. He still does a bit of legal work, but he, they met at his law firm. And he's very nice. My mum is wonderful, but quite intense. You know, she's very...

In what way? Big, we're all big drinkers, really, in the family, you know. She's been through anorexia, very young. Something I'm not sure I've ever fully left her. She's wonderful. She's a huge personality. But, you know, has some narcissism qualities to her as well. She's a worry that my dad doesn't have any of her complexities.

But she's fascinating. I mean, when I went to therapy with her, she was just so interesting. I'd never really, not only had her to speak like that. I've understood just how transparent and honest she is. Yes. You do what I mean by that? Which is, I think, to somebody like you, incredibly valuable.

Yeah, it's really valuable. She, you know, she came from a difficult background and in the end, she has achieved what she set out to achieve in life. She's stayed married. She's had three kids. We're all really close. You know, she's found a type of stability that she never got for herself, if that makes sense. So your mum and dad had a good relationship.

Yeah. I mean, they felt. solid to you as you were growing up. Did it feel... Yeah, sometimes I'm amazingly puts up with her. But yeah, definitely. Definitely we had a lovely childhood. And I think, yeah, they're both been very working class families.

He became a lawyer, only one of his family to get university. So they were very much new middle class. And it was very much like wanting to become middle class, if you know what I mean. I went to a private school. And there was a lot of, you know, my dad prided himself on having a BMW with a private reg plate, You know, it was, they were the aspiring middle classes in a town in the Midlands.

I mean, your dad was very inspiring for you, wasn't he? Yeah, definitely. He inspired like an aspect of you that was very socially minded. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, how do you know that? You wanted to take care of people. This is a bit like being in therapy. It is quite similar.

But you're very intuitive about that sort of to me. I must say, I mean, he did. He's actually, he's very social. That's absolutely true. And, you know, very curious and you're very bright. And they love having people around and they entertained a lot. And I suppose that's what I've got in me as well. You know, I think when you host TV shows, part of that is because you like,

you do like entertaining at some level, isn't? You like people. You're interested in people. You're interested. Yeah. And, I mean, again, your dad wanted to do good in the world. And you even had aspirations to become an MP, talk me through that. I did.

I still sometimes think, I thought I should have done that There was what I remember I used to go to quite a lot of Labour Party events And there was just in the dying Month of Tony Blair being PM I went to a Labour Party event And I was on a table with Hazel Bileas

who was in the cabinet And I was challenged this You should become an MP We'll get you a seat Now it's like should I do this And now I did want to be an MP I think there were three things I wanted when I was young I wanted to either I wanted to have my own business

I wanted to broadcast Or be an MP I've done two of those things. I was just going to say, there's only one you've kept to do. There's only one I haven't done, I know. It's still time, Richard. Yeah, I mean, it's unlikely. I think it's unlikely.

It's just too much. There's too many stories. But I just loved politics, and I still do follow politics. Sometimes I wish I followed it less. And then I became, I sort of fell in love with broadcasting. And my dad, being a lawyer, was interviewed a lot by the local radio station. And so, like, the BBC Radio Notting's radio call would come to our house, and they'd put the mast up, and it was just exciting.

It was really exciting. The BBC logo was in the drive. Do you know what I mean? I thought the BBC logo was in my drive. And I just thought it was absolutely amazing. And my dad got me a day's work experience at Radio Nottingham. And then I was so enthusiastic that they asked me to stay. And that's how I got into it.

And you worked there for a few years. Yeah. And kind of worked your way up a little bit. Yeah. And then my favourite thing that I learned about you is that your mum was an EPO mum. That is true That is absolutely true Someone from your podcast called me

And said oh we're looking for seeing you on Monday And so you followed your mum into radio I was like no I didn't She followed me into radio It's completely the other way around So I literally got her a job when I left And she loved it I bet she did

And she was like finding stories And putting them on there She absolutely loved it She loved it so much So yeah that was fun you know BBC local radio to me

was magic I was one point when I would I'd get in at 6am and I'd work on the breakfast show and they'd do live outside broadcasts

and then and then I'd stay till midnight editing a package for the next day's breakfast show and you know in the old days you had those tapes and you would splice them together

and I'd be listening picking records from the record library what track went with a particular news story like it was just so I can't tell you

how exciting it was how did you get your audition then for Blue Peter because that came Oh no, in between Live TV. Do you ever work there? No, but I remember it, I remember it happening and it being like

suddenly all these new independent like channels were popping up all over the place. So there was this, the Daily Mirror set up at a cable TV company called Live TV and they had all these crazy ideas. They tried to buy the premiership at one point. Like it was all mad. It was completely crazy. You got to admire the balls of it then. They're fucking balls.

Like big balls. And I went and I was like, I was doing film reviews on local radio on Radio Nottingham. And I had to go to London to interview film stars for local, like junkets. And someone who said to me, oh, you should do an audition. You look like you could be on TV. You should do an audition. So I did one weekend, went there and I actually went straight on air. I did an outside broadcast from Covent Garden.

And I loved it. And it was live and it was on the TV. And it was just amazing. And then they were like, well, you should come in and have a proper interview for a job. So Nick Ferrari gave me my first job in TV. the guy who does the Elvis on Breakfast Show now. He was really intimidating. And I went to see him in his office.

It was in Canary Wharf. But it was amazing. It's amazing. It's self. 24th floor. It's just, you know, I'm from Mansfield. And it's just these really grand buildings. And I sat in his office. And he said, what do you do on Radio Nottingham?

And the week before, I'd interviewed an English teacher who coached a girls football team and they'd won the local league. And when I interviewed him, I said to him, look, you're an English teacher. Do you quote Shakespeare to motivate the, girls and he said no I don't I said can you pretend that you do and he went I suppose so so I said

say you know 2-0 or not 2-0 you know once unto the breaches dea-playes and stuff like that and he went okay so he says all this in my interview that I've given him and then start the machine and he goes he goes yes I say 2-0 or not 2-0 that then goes on to the newswise and he's in the sun and

in the sun when Nick Farrer was interviewing me and he goes what do you do at radio nottingham on page 8 of the sun that day was half a page and they'd mocked up the bard on a football and written a story about how an English teacher you know quote Shakespeare and I said to him and said Nick this is what I do and I made that story up and he went fantastic

You're in? Yeah you're in That is actually amazing Yeah it was amazing timing And very funny And it was sitting on his because he'd worked at the sun He was just sitting on his desk And I flicked it over and made that up And obviously people from that tabloid era

Quite happy with the sort of made up exaggerated story thing And what you were 19? Yeah In that kind of position with a Nick Furrow type person who is intimidating anyway. Like he's such a big, commanding. He's really intimidating.

And his boss was Kelvin McKenzie. He was there as well. You know, the old son of it. Fuck, I mean, they're all there. God, I remember one, for Christmas going. I was just leaving the office to go home for Christmas. And I just saw him in the corridor. And I went, I was scared Nick Ferrari.

And I went, I went, happy Christmas, Nick. And he went, ho fucking ho. it's like, oh, okay. Got, the lift and went home. They still remember it. No, but if it's someone you're already scared off, right? Do you know what I mean? That's just a perfect thing for him to say, right?

So it's so... If that was in a book about a son editor from the 80s, do you know what I mean? It's exactly fits, doesn't it? And then, you know, that... Oh, fucking ho, I'm going to use that forever. Oh, fucking ho. No, it was with aggression as well.

Yeah, like, right? But you were young. This is what I want to say is that you... Do you know what? I took the job. I said, went over and taking this job, moving, I went home to my dad. And I'd never even left Aska to university.

So it was the first time I'd left home. And my dad, moving to London. He went, okay. I said, I'm going to cabot place in Canary Wharf and I'm going to live on the other dogs. He said, okay. And then a couple of days before, a week before I was due to go,

you woke me up in the morning. And a bomb had gone off. The IRA detonated a bomb at Canary Wharf. And he was like, I remember that. I mean, we forget this old IRA company. We used to live in a city where bombs went off. And I was like, and he went, he went, the bomb at that place you're going to work.

Because you're sure you want to go? I said, I'm sure. Yeah, definitely going. So I went down there and then I had a, that was just an absolutely wild year. I mean, I got banned from the state opening of Parliament. Yeah, talk me through that because that is very funny. I took a News Bunny.

We used to have this thing called News Bunny, and it was a man in a rabbit outfit. And he was like, he'd stand behind the newsreader and do it. It was a good story, thumb up and a bad story thumb down. It was, I mean, it was so funny.

One, Kelvin McKenzie did have a funny idea. It decided to enter News Bunny into a by-election, right? So I had to cover News Bunny being in a by-election. And what Kelvin wanted was, you wanted the name News Bunny to be read out on election night, right, on TV. So the guy, he was called Ashley, had to change his name by deed poll to News Bunny.

so that News Bunny got read out on television on the other channels. There's a whole stunt. And he went and campaigned in his outfit and one of his campaign slogans or promises was to free carrots for everybody. And he was in the middle of the road with a ban of saying free carrots for everybody.

And the police asked him to move and I was there covering it. And the police arrested News Bunny. And they put him in the back of the car and they had these great big ears and they had to fold down his... You know when they arrest him? They do that with their head.

They had to fold down his ears and put me in the back of the car. It's just the funniest thing I'd ever seen in my life. And then I took News Bunny to say, I'm in your parliament. That really pissed them off. So Black Rod. I've got a letter somewhere saying you're banned from the House at the Palace of Westminster altogether,

which is really exciting. And this is very hard to say. I'm already struggling. An anarchic time. Yeah, definitely. In television, where suddenly the anarchy of the tabloids. was converted onto a channel. That's what Kelvin wanted to bring to a channel where, like...

With hardly any money as well. With no money, we're going to mess it all up. We're going to throw it on its head, TV. We want everything to kind of go wrong. And love it was awful and some of it was okay. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, but it was exciting. I host at a live show every day called 4.

It was on from 4 until 5, so it was called 425. Obviously. And I hosted, I mean, in terms of air miles of practicing being on air, I did so much. I made a documentary called Behind the Scenes of Topless Darts on Ice. It was Bayswater Ice Rink. Oh my God, this is amazing. Yeah. Classic.

It was a classic. Claudia was there. Loads of people were at that time. I mean, it was just strange. I mean, I had never lived away from home. I was sharing a house with a load of people. And look at what you were doing. I've gone.

For a 19-year-old. What an achievement? And I chased James Hewitt down the street once. Damon and Oldborn got really annoyed at me. I chased him down the street once. He threw a beer all over my face. It was, I was a commentator on tenting bowling. That was, I mean, I did wear the tenting bowling.

They got the rights to temp in bowling, and I decided to commentate on it. Of course they did. I mean, God, I fucking hell. I remember I got banned for life, not only from Parliament, I got banned for life from my local McDonald's. No, but I did. for life. Oh my God,

you've got to be something really bad. I know. To do that. Remember, I already couldn't, I really couldn't cook because the only place I had to go for food. A ban from the place.

It's because it was, remember mad cow disease? Yes. And so, mad cow disease hits. And I'm in the newsroom at Live TV and I'm standing near Calvin McKenzie.

And on the news, it said, McDonald's, has decided to continue to sell British beef. They've stubbornly decided, we are going to, as in the news, we're going to canceling British beef despite mad cow disease. And Kelvin was looking out the window,

down at the McDonald's and the other dogs, and he went, he looked at me, I think he even knew my name, but you get in there, get a crew and go down there. And he went, get the manager and accuse him of murdering people. And you did. He said, go in there and tell him, by continuing to sell British beef, he's murdering people. So I did.

I went in there with a crew into McDonald's, and I asked for the manager. And he came out and I said you're murdering people. And then that's, I mean, it's a legitimate reason to get banned from McDonald's for life. You just unbelievably bullse. But I think I'm going to talk to you about this later. And ADHD diagnosis much later in life, like in your 40s. Yeah, yeah, 402, 43, yeah.

Would it probably been a really nice explanation of why you were such a crazy risk to him. these, all of these things, could get you into enormous trouble, but you sort of enjoyed it? I did enjoy. Yeah, it's really, the ADHD thing is so interesting. It explains, for some people, it explains addiction. You know, I have, I've really slow blood flow

to the front of my brain, to the prefrontal cortex. So I went to Orange County to the Aeman Clinic, which is like the number one place in America for ADHD. And they did my brain scan, and it was, and they showed it to me. And my blood flow here is so slow that it's a black patch on a brain scan. So you can actually physically see my ADHD because my blood flow here is so slow.

And what does that mean? It means that I take loads of stimulants to speed it up or to make it feel like it's speeding up. Yeah, I mean, it's my third black coffee today. You know, you can see why I got into cocaine. And that's what it means. And it means scattered focus. It means hyperfocus.

But he was even they at this clinic were like, oh, that's a big one. That's not even a normal ADHD. That is like we can see it on your brain scan ADHD. And that's when he said to me, he put his hand on Rebecca's shoulder and said,

she's keeping you alive. He was like, I'm surprised you're not. He said to me, I'm surprised you're not dead. Then a year later, I was in a coma. Yeah, I want to talk to you about this as well. Do you want to go back to getting to an out of McDonald's? No, but I do quickly want to talk to you about Rebecca just there where you said she's keeping you alive.

Because I think you already had quite a good sense of things. that. Yeah. That she is the person that grounds. She's your roots. Yeah, definitely she keeps you in the ground. Yeah, and maybe subconsciously you're looking for somebody like that. I met her at Capitol Radio.

I was hosting the drive time show. And she was marked. She was head of marketing. And I just, I mean, I really fancied her immediately. But I, but also she, there's just something about her, but there still is. You know, she's just got a real, I don't know what it is. Not exactly a hippie quality, but there's just something. She's a good person.

I mean, at her core. I've still learned that more and more about her. We've been together 20 years, married 18. She's just a good... Yeah, thanks. Can I just say, well done. Oh, thanks. That's a big deal.

Yeah, I would not have predicted that I would stay married. Do you know what I mean? That's not, to come back to all the issues we've been hinting at here, is I'm not the sort of person you would expect to, but I want to. I want to stay with her forever.

I mean, I'd just, you know, every now and again in your marriage, it can be a bit difficult, can't it? And I'm like, God, whenever I've confronted the possibility that I might lose her, it's awful. Do you know what I mean? And I think, so maybe subconsciously I was looking for somebody who I knew might keep me alive. But also, she just has this quality about her that not only is she a good person, she's just one of those people who's touched with a bit of magic.

And we just talk and talking. But we also... That is a lovely thing to say about Sir John Richard. she's touched with a bit of magic. Yeah, she's touched a bit of magic. Oh, I love that. But she really is. And I think, and we just talk and talk and talk and talk.

I mean, fucking, hell, it's like, even this morning, you're just talk and talk and talk and talk and talk, and then talk and talk and talk. And sometimes I say to it, isn't it wild? How do you not run out of conversation after 18 years? And it's just, I mean, you and Michael have that. Yeah, I mean, is it great, though. We're very lucky.

Yeah. We're all very lucky. Yeah, definitely. And he had that cliche about someone being your best friend, but she is my best friend. Yeah. And it's just, it is obviously true. And I know I just really value her and I really rate her and I really respect her.

It's funny, isn't it? You just, the sliding doors thing of, you know, I might never have met her. It doesn't mean it. It's just, it's a random thing. I was working at XFM doing the drive time show, which I loved. And they poached me, put me on, it's a floor below on Capitol Radio drive time show, which it wasn't really that suited to because I like to do quite subversive things. So had a year there.

Then I went back to XFM. it's in that year. Falling in love with her was just really exciting. I mean, falling in love is exciting. It's just, it's just, it's overwhelming, isn't it? I mean, it's just, you can't wait to see each other, and he's kissing in corridors, and it's just, it's just, but it is, though, isn't it?

It is, it's really something, and it was, you know, she was with somebody before me, and that all was a bit tricky, and, I mean, he certainly didn't like me, so you go through, you know, with all of these experiences. But yeah, I would get excited just if she sent me a text And I would and it was back then when the phones weren't this is this is pre iPhone It probably is, it is, it's just pre iPhone coming out

So I'd get a text on like a Nokia and her name would come up before you saw the text You know what I mean? And even that I would I would find it exciting and almost sexy just to see the name Rebecca on a screen Do you know what I mean? Like it was kind of like, yeah, it was. It was the happiest time of my life, I think, that year of falling in love with her. And how old were you then? I was probably 30, yeah, 30.

Yeah. So you'd already been through a lot in your life. And had several careers by the studio ad as well, though. Yeah. I saw a clip of you the other day introducing Oasis on MTV. And I was thinking, but they weren't famous. No. It was the first time I think they'd been on MTV.

I was introducing them as a new band. It's not amazing. Yeah, it's a band called Oasis. To have been a TV presenter so. long that you can find a clip of you introducing a band called Oasis that no one's heard of. As you know, I have been trying at Monzo, who are sponsoring Begin Again. And I think one of the cleverest things about it is something called Salary Sorter. Now, I'm going to show you on a prop phone, by the way, because you're not seeing my actual bank balance, nosy. But what's

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I would like to say before we discuss it, we've got to say it's potentially the best thing that ever happened to you. It's definitely the best thing that ever happened to you. It's definitely the best thing that ever. happened to me. Apart from Rebecca. No, but it is... I mean, talk us through how you started at Blue Peter.

How you started taking cocaine. Yeah, and how you started... No, how you started at Blue Peter because you got the audition. First time... You went up for the audition. Yeah, that was amazing. And what did you have to do for the audition?

I was... I went through... You have to hold a snake. You have to go on a... I say it like, it's normal. You have to hold a snake. You have to go on a trampoline. So Blue Peter?

So, it's really fun. really. I mean, it was so exciting. I wrote, so a guy at Live TV says, Tim Vincent's leaving, you should go for that job. So I wrote a letter. And I said, I just decided to tell Blue Peter that

I was naughty. And all these things I'd on chasing James Hewitt down the street, Damon and Oliver, I'm going to go at me. You know, all this getting thrown out McDonald's for life. My first ever job was in McDonald's actually, but thrown out. And then, and I wrote a letter to the editor of Blue Peter called Oliver McFarlane, and I said,

Dear Oliver, they say when you're tired of London, you're tired of life. But when you're tired of live TV, you've been there about a year. Right, it was my opening line. And then I sent it to table with all the craziest or worst things I've done at live TV, the getting in trouble things. And I thought, I'm just going to show them who I am. And that made them take note of me. I mean, they should have seen the early warning side,

because then it did go wrong. You just warn them. I'd warn them in effect. But that's how I think I stood out. I sent quite a bold tape of the stuff we've talked about and that letter. And then I went in and had the audition. It was fucking amazing.

I mean, just giant studios at television centre. You know? I mean, and so iconic. We'd all grown up with Blue Peter. Yeah, so iconic. And Connie Huck and Katie L were lovely. Yeah. We were a nice gang and there were nice people.

And then I was, where was I was at Smithfield Market doing a piece for live TV when I got a call saying basically saying the editor wants to see you and they indicated I was going to get the job and then I went to see him and told me I got the job and then I just couldn't believe it

I remember walking up and down Wood Lane just going oh my God I just couldn't believe it it was going to television centre for the first time which was when I had that or no I met the editor then the audition then went back to be told I got the job because just you know those

do remember there's dots on the wall yeah you know and it was just, I mean, it's really like even now if we go to TV centre, I still feel something for the place, you know what I mean. When I first started presenting it, the show,

and my first episode was in what's called TC-1, which is still there. It was the biggest studios, where they do all the children in need, comic relief, election nights, all those things. And I remember, I was just, with rehearsal, and all the crew here,

there were several cameras, and then there's a camera, like, on a crane, and those people with headphones, and it's a piece where I had to do, I was talking to the camera, and I had to walk from one side of the studio to the other and all the cameras tracked with me and I couldn't and I stopped and they all stopped

and I walked a bit more and they all went and I know it doesn't sound like much and I know you've done this a billion times but when it first happens do you know what I'm getting at all these follow you that everyone's just waiting for you to move and I'll say it's amazing

I thought it was amazing well it's just so exciting and it's something that you'd worked in it's a bit like you were saying earlier about live TV being a practice for a year. When I first started on MTV, they put me on at midnight till three.

So nobody was watching. So I could do as many mistakes. I messed up. And I did this for six months. So when I actually did something real, like quite big, I was ready. You were ready. You were just absolutely like pride.

You've done all this. It done so much by then. You're only like 21 or whatever. It's amazing, isn't it? I mean, I was 25. I was old. You were such a baby. Yeah.

And you did some amazing things. Is it true that you trained for Sandhurst? Yeah. They offered me a... They offered me a... Yeah, I did... I went and lived there for a week or so. Wow.

This is... Blue Peter opens east doors. They did officer training at Sandhurst. And I had to do... I had to change really quickly into a chemical, biological warfare suit. I had to do the assault course. I had to wade through dirty water

threw a tunnel with a rifle above my head and then I did the passing out parade and it went really well and the head of Sandhurst, he might be called the Commandant, I don't know, something like that. At the end of it, he called me into his office and it's his wood-panelled office and there's all your paintings of all, you know,

World War II generals and things. We're just really impressed, Richard. And we'd like to offer you a spot here at Sandhurst and you can become an army officer. I said, yeah, but I'm a TV presenter. I don't want to be shot. at. I want to go to a big studio and have all these cameras

follow me. I want to be shot out, but not in that way. But did you not just kind of go, oh, that feels nice? Yeah, it did feel nice. Yeah, it felt nice. It felt like, yeah, it did. It did. It did. It was, oh, I didn't know I've done it that well. And I were not, you know, being in, I mean, at my school, we had a mock on, we think called CCF, they got thrown out of, you know, so I wasn't, it's not my natural thing. But it did feel nice. I went to Houston and studied mission control

during a fucking mission, you know. There's this giant swimming pool at NASA. It's so big, there's a fucking space shuttle at the bottom of it with its bay doors open so that they can practice weightlessness. The pool is so big, there's a space shuttle at the bottom of it, and they're on the arms, you know, like when you're in space. And I went in that, you know, that's what Blue Peter does. That we did the Blue Peter Summer Expedition to India,

went to Darjeeling, Calcutta, all these places. It was fantastic. It really was an absolutely amazing job. And you were only there for a year and you did all of that? Yeah. Or 20 months? 20 months. It took loads.

Isn't it? My parents were so proud. They're so fond of. Oh, I bet. My dad, the first time he came to see me host Blue Beach. We only went up to the receptionist at TV Centre and he just went, I'm Richard Bacon's dad. Oh. They didn't know I was.

He assumed they go, oh, they come through. He's so proud. It's so sweet, isn't it? And so proud. I know. Well, that's why then it's a hard fall when you lose the job. You know, that's why then it becomes, he's a criminal defence lawyer, was a criminal defence lawyer.

And then, of course, he done something illegal. So the fall is really big for them. How upset was he? Well, it's the only time my mum's ever heard him cry. I mean, he cried and he went in the shower to hide his crying. Oh, no. So he turned the shower on and cried, you know, when she could hear him weeping because he was so ashamed, I think.

and he was sort of embarrassed about going back to court the next day. Oh, no. So really hit him hard. She only told me about that a few years later. It was the week of my mum's 50th that I got fired, and I've just turned 50. But, yeah, that hit them. It was very difficult for them.

It was sort of slightly easier for me. Can I ask you something, though, because it was, I mean, how good a friend was it that set you up? He was your actual best friend. Yeah. Yeah. He recorded a phone call with me. So he went to Max Hastings.

Remember him? Yes. Went to Max Hastings. Yeah. He was basically jealous of me. We'd been working at Radio Nottingham together and he'd be doing some PR there. And then I hung out with him in London.

Actually, the first time I did co-came was with him. We're in that, do you have a place called Browns? Yes. Do you have a go? Yeah. Of course. Of course he went. Goals?

God, I remember the first time when he got some, He gave me it. I didn't really understand it. And I did the whole thing at once. Can I ask you a question about ADHD and cocaine? Yeah. Because it doesn't have the same effect on people with... It doesn't do that.

That's the other crazy thing about it. It doesn't actually do that much to me. If anything, I talk less. I go quieter. So typically when people are on Coke... So why did you like it? What did you like about it? I don't know.

I mean, I think it's the... It's the stimulants. thing. I think it comes down to what I now understand since having the ADHD diagnosis at age 42 at the Aeman Clinic in Orange County is just an understanding that you're trying to make up with something that's missing because your blood flow to the prefrontal cortex is so slow. So you're making up for it. It's something to do with that. And so I mean, but that's the craziest thing about it is it didn't change me that much, but I did get into it obviously. And he, so we'd had a big night out and he then called Max Hastings who said you need evidence so he said to him record

Richard's phone call so it's a bit like a precursor to phone hacking in a way so this guy then recorded a phone call with me and he went oh we had a big night the other night didn't we and I went yeah and he said remind me what happened looking back it's obviously a crazy way to talk and I went oh yes we went here and we had some drugs here and we went to that club in Covent Garden and had some drugs and then that all appeared verbatim in the news of the world you know and I was like well How can they have, how can they? And so I'll tell you what happened. There was a guy called Stuart Higgins who I really like

who was doing some PR for my agent at the time, John Holmes, had hired Stuart Higgins, a former editor of the son to do PR for all his clients. And so I was at the Blue Peter's 40th birthday party at the Natural History Museum. And I left with Karen Keating, who I loved. Oh. I really used to fancy her. That I really did. and I'm being very ADHD now on.

I'm changing so quickly rapidly changing topic. I left with Karen Keathe's obviously passed away a long time ago now. And Anteaternour. And there was a photographer outside and he was only taking pictures of me and I was like, but that's weird. Why would you not take a picture

of Karen Keating and Anteaterna? And he just was shooing me down the street. And I said, why are you ignoring them? It doesn't make any sense. They're more famous than me. I don't know what you're doing. So I'll call John Hose, who called Stuart Higgins and Stewart said I'll do some digging.

And I was, my little flat in Chiswick, my dad had come down to see me. We were painting the living room where we went to Wix, B&Q to get some paint. It was midnight mist. And, and, details very important, Devinia. I feel like I'm really getting like the full account here. Yeah, you are. Okay, great.

There's nothing left out. No, I want. All of it, Richard. I was coming back from that being Q. Yeah. And my mobile and my dad's in the drive. He's driving. Your dad was there with you when you got the news.

Yeah, he's driving. And I'm in the passenger seat. And I answer it. And this guy goes, Stuart Higgins, he goes, it's news of the world, cocaine and lots of it. That was the exact phrase. News of the world, cocaine and lots of it. And what you meant by lots of it was lots of coverage,

not lots of cocaine. Yeah. And so I looked at my dad and I thought, God, I can't. So he's there, he's there next to me. And I'm like, I can't. I'm not going to tell him now. So we then got back to my house, started painting the living room, midnight mist. And I sort of went, oh, dad, I think it's going to be a story about me tomorrow.

You know, and the truth is that your parents don't quite get the severity of it. And then I thought, shit, I bet tell the editor. So I went to Oliver McFarlane's house, the editor of Blue Peter. His wife answered the door. She made me tea and cakes. Oh. And I went, listen, guys, I'm going to be the news of the world tomorrow. And I explained what it was for.

And she went, oh, she went, oh, everyone does that nowadays. I think she thought cocaine was weed. She went, everyone does that nowadays. She went, it will be fine. And I remember saying to them both, I don't think it's going to be fine. I don't think it's going to. And the other thing I wanted to be growing up was a newspaper editor. And there's a famous book called Stick It Up You Punter,

which is actually partly about Kelvin McKenzie and all these people. And I actually was really, really interested in. tabloids. And so I knew how they worked. And the truth is going to live TV and working with Kelvin McKenzie, he's not my cup of tea, as you can imagine, but nonetheless, they're interesting people. Yes. And I'd wanted to be a newspaper editor. And so I understood the severity of the story. And I remember thinking of himself, if I was the editor of the news of the world, I'd run this damn story. Yes. And they didn't put it on the front page, which actually was a fucking weird, I think it was a mistake by them. And so, you know, it did blow off and be.

became a big thing. I went to East Tower at TV Centre on Sunday morning to meet with Lorraine Hegacy. And I got in the lift with the head of HR who was holding my contract. You know, yeah. Are you going to tear that up? You know when you've got that little idea in the back of your mind, something that you think, you know what, I might do that one day. And then life gets kind of busy and it just sort of stays there. Well, I was thinking about how sometimes overwhelming it can feel when you actually try to start something. Design, writing, photography, payments, tech, all of it, it's a lot. Well, Shopify, whose sponsors begin again, sort of takes that chaos and it makes it feel achievable.

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and you could actually start selling right away. When you've had your dream job and you've been sold out by your best friend, you lose your dream job, then they're going like this guy did a balance, thing and we are ashamed of him and he's ashamed of himself. Like, where does that leave you mentally? Well, it could, I mean, thankfully, I did deal with it mentally quite well.

I mean, obviously, it was a few days when it was hard. And I was, you know, spiraling a bit. I was 22. So in two years, it would be 30 years ago. Yeah, I was young to go through a big public humiliation like that. And it was, they were talking about it in the House of Commons. I mean, I went to the pub in Belside. I went to hide in Belsight Park for some reason.

spent a lot of the week with Chris Moyles and Chris Evans I mean it just But I was in How did that happen? I can't quite remember I think Mitch the voiceover guy from live and kicking I was friends with him and he said come and live with me Do you remember Mitch?

Yeah I remember his voice Yeah yeah For some reason in my quite I've had quite a cartoon life And I did find myself So I went to live with the voiceover guy From Live and Kicking in Belsize Park

And then I was in the pub with him And Chris Moyle So at that point He must have been on like the early breakfast show He was fucking ages early breakfast show, I think. He wasn't famous. And I, and we were watching, and someone went, oh, they're talking about you on question time. So we put question time on in the Haverstock Arms in Barsight Park.

And I was a subjective debate. And every time someone on the panel made a point in my favour, the whole pub applauded. The whole pub, the whole pub stopped and watched. It was on a TV up there. The whole club applauded. And then every time some Tory MP was like, he should be put in prison. The whole pub booed. You know, and then I had Chris Evans

truly trying to get me to go on TFI Friday. And Sue Higgins said, advised me not to do it and I think it did make sense. He said, just look a bit more contrite than that. But then Chris talked about me for hours on the Virgin Radio Breakfast Show. And I remember when I was on... And wait, wait, because he's an interesting guy, Chris Evans.

Very. Because I think he could see that something, that the reaction to you was unjust. Yeah. That you'd been set up. and this was unfair. He loves the underdog. Yeah, he does.

Doesn't he? But there was something about you. He could see something in you. Well, we later became friends. I imagine going on his podcast soon. And we became friends. When I was on Blue Peter, he was so big. You know, this is 97-98.

He was just, like, this stuff. And I remember watching Good, Don't forget a toothbrush when I was at Radio in Austin. He was, I remember thinking, I remember sitting in makeup at Blue Peter one day. I remember this daydream. I think how amazing it would be if I one day got to meet Chris Evans.

I remember thinking, I'm consciously thinking, can you imagine even meeting Chris Evans? And then I get fired and he just talks about me for hours. He gave this quote where he said half the BBC are on drugs. And obviously then sunfront page,

half the BBC are on drugs. And he was a real supporter. And so that was a long-winded way of me saying that I dealt with it all right. And I suppose at some point it became quite exciting. But part of the reason why you dealt with it all right, I think this is an important message to everybody out there was because people had your back.

Yeah. And strangers. So Chris Evans. Yeah. And the guy from Live and Kicking you did the voiceover, they took you in. Yeah, they did. You were not alone. Yeah, that's true.

And they really helped you. They did help me, yeah, for sure. There's no question about it. And Stuart Higgins really helped me. You know, there were good people around me. I mean, there was one Blue Peter producer who said to me, you'll never work in TV again. I was like,

but it's just not a helpful thing to save somebody. Like, what's the point in saying it? So you left Blue Peter, but really, in a way, it was a bit of a gift. Yeah.

Because as much as Blue Peter was your thing, you were actually the naughty boy that sent the original, like, tape in with you going, this is who I really at. Yeah. And you'd sort of put a lid on that for Blue Peter a bit. Yeah.

And then you took, the lid off again. I did, yeah. Tick the lid off again. So you went to radio. What did I do? After Blue Peter? No, I went to the big breakfast after Blue Peter. Oh yes, of course you did.

It was really, I mean it's about three months later, but I was, yeah, I remember the first show back, I watched it. This is the first Blue Peter back after I left, partly because they're all, you know, Richard's been very naughty. But I also felt a sort of sadness that the team, uh, came. Lady Hill, Connie Huck, Stuart Miles. They were all there on the set with the dog, you know. And I did feel like left out. You know, that was sad. That was quite hard.

I was like, oh God, look, they all are. Because I'd always loved the big studio and all of that stuff. And then, again, continuing the cartoon life, Andy Peters calls me. Who at that point is a commissioning editor at Channel 4. Yeah. And calls me in and says, I think you'd be good on the big breakfast.

And then, and then, yeah. That was a brilliant shout. Yeah, well, the host of the Big Breakfast had been to prison for dealing cocaine. So it was like, this was nothing. And you knew Johnny. Yeah, and he was, I mean, that was intimidating in a way because he was, he was the other Chris Evans.

I mean, he was like, you're so good on the Big Breakfast. It was just so good at it. It was just a comedy master class every day. to stand in the back of the house and watch him work. You must have done it. You ever get down there when you did it. I was doing the outside broadcast. I worked at a big breakfast for three years.

And my first outside broadcast, it was like scary. He was famously would be a bit, it'd either get behind you or he wouldn't. Do you know what I mean? Quite quick decision making. And my first outside broadcast was in Liverpool. And it was an absolute chaotic mess. Which is great.

Yeah. It was great. My first one was a feature called Bringing Home the Bacon. It was cool, bringing home the bacon. And we decided to take a plate spinner to someone's garden and have a little party. And this plate spinner, the show's on at 7am, so you get to this close in Liverpool

where we're surprising a family. And I'd booked a plate spinner. He turns up at half six. And he's called Bob. It's called Bob. He's called Bob the Platesfinner. And this is my first job on TV after Blue Peter. turns up and the outside broadcast truck is there and he opens his boot and I went

great glad he here and he goes oh no I went what Bob and he went and he goes I've forgotten me plates and I said Bob you're a plate spinner there's only two things there's the sticks and there's the plates and he said well I've brought the sticks I said but you haven't brought the plates okay so I knocked on another door in this close not of the house were surprising. I said, this is really strange. Have you got a kind of,

yeah, I said, got any plates and can have them. And they went, yeah. So I went, Bob, we got some plates.

He went, no, no, he goes, we have, they have to, you have to have a hole in the bottom. They have to,

so I went back to the person. I went, can I have your plates and have you got to drill? And they went, yeah, so we then drill little holes into some strangers plate.

Woo, and then we surprised this family, did the outside broadcast. Bob puts his plates on the sticks, but they haven't been drilled properly and it turns out that the plates we got from the neighbour were too

heavy. So he put all the plates on the sticks and one at a time, each sticks started to bend really slowly, really slowly and the plate flipped off and shattered everywhere. And then the next one shattered and the next one and the next one and it was a disaster. All of them went and Johnny Vaughn thought it was just the best

thing you'd ever seen. And then I stayed at the big breakfast. And everybody would have been watching it, your first moment back on TV. Yeah. after the grand scandal. Yeah. And it is amazing. And it was so funny. I was laughing so much.

And I then did a feature called plate spinning bob goes to Vegas. And I took him to Vegas. I took him to Vegas. I put him on stage at the Circus Circus Hotel. And I deliberately went and bought some plates that were too heavy. They fell off as well. But like this was a time when the chaos was embraced. Yeah.

Like we've sort of gone, it's quite got. quite homogenised television now. And it was brilliant when you'd be watching it. You loved live TV because anything could happen and it always did. And that's what you were so good at. Yeah. That kind of, and Chris Evans and Johnny Vaughn, that kind of anything can happen. And the chaos of it.

The chaos of it. Yeah, I miss that. And I, when I went to XFM, which effectively where Johnny is now, that's called Radio X. But I did carry that on. and I just carried on doing features like that. They're a bit dangerous. I did a feature called Employed or Unemployed,

where I'd go into Leicester Square with headphones on, and I'd have a caller on the line, and I'd describe a passerby, and then I'd go, do you think they've got a job or not? And then I'd run up to them and say, are you employed or unemployed? And I did it one time, and a guy beat me up.

He was so annoyed that I'd even ask him the question. But so I just carried on that, just doing what, you know. Can I just ask you? What do you mean? How badly did he do you know? But he just hit me a couple of times, and I went to the floor.

I kept asking him to stop. The producer in the studio went to an ad break. I was furious. I was like, no, don't cut to an ad break. That's the best bit. Me being beaten up is the best bit. Don't go to ads now. But it was just, it was, but yeah, that sense of doing stuff, I suppose,

with a little bit of danger was what I carried on doing. Now I have a job where I come up with ideas, and that's because of the big breakfast. It was so hungry for ideas. I diverted into news and current affairs for a while, but that is a place where if you like ideas, you suit it. Because it's so, and he's 20 a day, you know. So can I, can I skip forward a bit?

Yeah, of course. You worked in a lot of really good channels. Radio 5 Live I was at for a long time. I did a night time show and an afternoon show that. And you were famous for that. I mean, your talk show was absolutely, you know. I loved it. Yeah, and you were very, I think for you that suited you so well.

Yeah, yeah, I liked it and I liked being on the radio. Then I went to L.A. For a reason it didn't really make much sense. So just talk to me about that. because that was a big move. You were very, I think when people get into radio, radio is quite hard to get into anyway. You were in.

That was very in. I've got a good slot. Yeah. I went to LA. I thought, right, Rebecca lived in Malibu when she was really young. And she'd been a nanny to one of the Motley crew. Oh my God, stop. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Oh, my God. That is amazing. I know. Wow. And she loved Malibu. Yeah. And so we were like, oh, we want to live there. And they'd move my Five Live show to Manchester.

Yes. And I was doing half of them in London, half in Manchester, getting a train. My house was near broadcasting house. I was like, why am I getting a train? So I just thought, I think if Five Life had not moved to Salford, I would never have gone to L.A. So we just thought, well, we're going to go. And I had an idea for a talk show, a kind of interview series,

and I took it to BBC America, and they commissioned it. And the first episode was Ricky Jervais, who I knew because he's come on a radio show a lot. and there's a problem with my visa nothing to do with the whole Blue Peter thing but I there's a problem with my visa and I couldn't get my passport back

from the embassy and I couldn't fly so I quit my radio show rented my house out in London it's quite fun I rented it out to Woody Harrelson that was all quite fun and so we became friends

that was always very I've had quite a cartoony life and then I then rented a house in Los Angeles and quit my job got a show commissioned that I had come up with and that was going to host,

it was a multi-location interview series. For Ricky, we were going to rig a car, we're going to go to the club at New York where he did his first comedy gig in New York, we'd go to the zoo because of animals. Everything was rigged and ready to go. And I couldn't fucking get there. I couldn't get my passport back from the embassy.

So the whole thing collapsed. And it was so expensive when it collapsed. And Ricky was waiting for me. It's so expensive when it collapsed, they wouldn't put it back on its feet afterwards. But you didn't give up. I didn't give up. And I was there.

And I was like, Oh, she's fucking on the mirror now. And we'd rented our house out. And we got to L.A. And the first morning was wonderful, actually. I was like, we went to this place called Go Get Em Tide in Larchmont Village and just felt so at home. And I thought, okay, I think we'll make this work.

But I didn't have a job. And I didn't really have much of a job with the first year. And I kept flying back and doing bits and bobs. And then after, I nearly took a job at ABC News, but just stuff didn't quite come off. And I'd never, since I was 17, not really been in work, you know, and I like work. And how did you feel then?

It felt really strange and I didn't like it. And I didn't like it. I didn't have enough to do. Like my kids started going to preschool. And I remember at one point feeling slightly jealous of them. I was like, oh, look, because you've got somewhere to go with something to do. Do you know what I mean by that? I was like, God, they've got a place to be at a certain time.

How old were Ivy and Arthur when they moved? They were one and three, you know, so very young. I mean, Rebecca, when I said earlier, she has a mild, like, hippie quality. took a risk as well, like just going for that. That's a big ask for her. Yeah. I mean, in the end, we loved living in LA, but at the beginning, it was that first year, I'd never in my life not worked

before, and that was strange. And then eventually, I remember thinking, right, if I haven't got a job by a certain day, we're going to have to go home. And then, through my agents, CAA, I was very proud when they started representing me and I'm still with them. They got me an interview for a job in New York.

And I got it. And so we actually went and lived in New York for a year. It was National Geographic and ABC. I actually did a bit of ABC news during Trump's 2016 campaign. Wow. And you never look back, right? No, well, then I found my way back to L.A. where I was hosting a daytime show for Fox. But around that time, I started to think about how much I'd like to try and come up with game shows.

My original idea was to try and come up with the game show for me to host. Were you slightly inspired by Chris Evans? Yeah, definitely, for sure, for sure. and then I got into a coma and out of the coma Wait You can't just brush

You can't just brush over it like that That was a big deal Yeah Right that was I'd like to talk to you a little bit About what it was like Facing the idea of The possibility that you could have died

Yeah it's a strange one Isn't it? It's more hits you afterwards I had an allergic reaction Something It's never even been that clear what it was, but I was feeling funny in LA and we got a flight home. And on the flight, I was hallucinating. I was really, I was short of breath. And I thought everyone was trying

to kill me on this aeroplane. And actually, there was an infection in both my lungs. It's a bit like double pneumonia, which is, of course, both your lungs are taken out. So the infection, what I now know was filling up in both lungs. So there's not enough oxygen in my brain. Right. So I'm like, oh, you're all trying to kill me. And the, the annoying thing is, is that when the plane came into land at he'd throw, the air pressure changes, so it gets better, doesn't it? And that meant, I felt better. So I thought I was getting better, but I wasn't.

So the air pressure had come down, so this, I've got more air into my lungs. I thought, I'm over, whatever that was. You know what, you're still there? But it's really still there and still growing. Yes. You know, like when you're throwing up and then suddenly feel like it's passed?

It's like that. I thought, oh, it's past. Where did this thing, why that fucking weird thing was? It's passed. They took me off the plane on a wheelchair. and I went to my mother-in-law's house in Blackheath and I was really short of breath again and Rebecca's sister Kirsty was one

and was like, you've got to go to hospital, get to hospital, so I went there, I went to Lewisham and they saved my life when I checked in, it's not a hotel, we know when you get to the front desk and I did have a long stay. I said them short of breath

and it's interesting they take it really seriously. I was like, I got an Uber to the hospital, I was like, it's not much. Don't worry about it. But, you know, I'm short of breath. They were like, right, you're going straight through. And I went through to a bay and they came to see me. And I remember them saying one of their specialists was away.

There's a doctor called Alex. They were like, he'd be really good at it. And I went, oh, why is he not here? And they went, oh, he's on Love Island. I was like, oh, really? Wait, is that true? That's true. So their specialist doctor.

Alex was on Love Island. It's not there. He's not there. He's on Love Island. But, you know, it's like cartoon. Dr Alex, I mean, like, we're famous, right? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He'd be perfect for you, but he's on Love Island as I'm short of breath in a bay in the hospital.

And then... It was really serious. Yeah, so then, yeah, basically, I did a chest x-ray, and they moved me to, you've got A&E, then you've got ICU, which... You were in ICU, right, one point, intensive care. But there's another stage between that. I forgot what it's called, and they took me there, and I'm on a trolley, things all over me, done echo cardiograms and stuff like that.

But Vic, the consultant who saved my life, just appeared. Me and Rebecca are there. And I've got oxygen mask. And he just appears at the end of the bed. And he goes, we've looked at your chest x-ray. It's bad. We need to put you into a coma. And it's obviously a very shocking thing to hear.

Yes. And I thought, oh, I thought it'd be like hours away. I said, well, when? And he said in the next 20 minutes. But I always thought, we could just do it in a couple of hours. He said, you want to call your relatives? So I called my mum and dad, called my sisters.

I was due to go to the Soho House Festival that night. So I emailed Nick Jones and I went, I can't make it because I'm going into a coma. It's quite a flex though, that isn't it? And what I found out afterwards was the gap between Vic telling me I needed to be in a coma and being in a coma was four minutes. So I'd made those calls in that time, sent the email.

And then Rebecca was rubbing my feet and they, you know, they got my guess they, They must have injected me. But wait, Rebecca said something. Oh, she said, don't walk towards the white lie. It was her line. Sweet. I love her.

It's very sweet, isn't it? That is such a, because that's exactly what you'd be afraid of. Yeah. You know, if you think you're going to go, don't let go. Don't let go. There is something in that, actually. Yeah, stick around. There's something worth staying for.

You know what I mean? And I think they didn't tell how bad it was. Then I nearly died that night. I mean, they very much expected me to die. And I, because they couldn't figure out what it was. And I remember, I actually went back to hospital some weeks later, which is how I know all this. But there was, I was on a trolley and they were all surrounding me. And my blood oxygen went to 58.

If you go below 60, you either die or get brain damage. Yeah. And I'm not dead. So. Not got brain damage either. Well, have I not? Your brain works at like a thousand miles an hour. I can see it.

No, but I went, I went blue. They said, well, you turn blue. Because we got to oxygen, blood oxygen 50, and I turn blue. I remember Vic saying he looked at another doctor, and he was going to say to her, what do you call the, what was called? You know those things. Yes, I do.

And he said, I was going to ask her for it, and she just nodded. Didn't, because I was crashing. He said, you were crashing. I didn't even need to say, he looked at her, and she went, and then they slid it over and put it over my chest. And then at the last second, it's gone out of it. So I'd gone into the dead brain damage zone. And for some reason,

One of the many things they'd injecting me with just started kicking in. And then I didn't die. But they were like, you were meant to die. We really thought you were going to die. It wasn't like you might die. And Rebecca was in. Yeah, she was in a waiting room at that point. But she doesn't know how bad it is.

And then obviously the kids don't know how bad it is. And, yeah, it was a lot. Because I think I was in the coma for nine days. And on day seven, I did 12 days in intensive care. But, God, in day seven, they brought me out. They thought, because I'd nearly died a few couple of times. I'd had a tracheotomy. Day seven, they tried to room me out of this coma.

And it was horrendous. Do you remember that? I remember it really well. Do you? It was horrendous. I couldn't, I still couldn't breathe properly. I kept losing the oxygen mask in the bed. It was a really hot summer as well.

It was really hot in the room. And I just, you know, when you can't get air in, enough air in, it's horrible. Panic. I couldn't get enough in. Couldn't do a deep breath. I couldn't do a deep breath. Even then, and it was just absolutely awful. And you're just hallucinating, but it's not nice hallucinations.

There's nothing, you know, but they can be nice hallucinations. And it was just really, and I thought, some reason I thought Rebecca was dead or, it was all going crazy in my head. And then I started kicking things. I think I kicked a nurse. Then I was pulling pipes out my neck and alarms were going off, you know. And they went, and they just put me in another coma. Yeah.

Right, okay. Only for two more days. Only two more days. And then by that point, the infection have gone down enough. Right. It definitely, now that I've gone into this business of having my own company

and working on ideas, that was as a result of that as well. And I came out the coma and I thought, I was a bit bored of this job I was hosting this daytime show on Fox. And it wasn't challenging me. And so I wanted to pursue

coming up with ideas. And I think having a company has been a really interesting experience, but I do like it. And we're working on some really big projects now. Going to LA on Saturday to pitch five new formats, you know. And I like having

ideas makes me very happy. It kind of makes me high in a way. I think I've got another one. When you got your ADHD, why did you go for an ADHD diagnosis? That was my, I had a therapist then who was a specialist in ADHD and he was like,

you've got it, you should go and get diagnosed. So when, I think we spent seven grand on the diagnosis. I remember telling Jimmy Carr. God. I've been friends with Jimmy and I said to Jimmy I said oh yeah

I spent 7,000 pounds getting ADHD diagnosis he went you could have just used my eyes and saved 7,000 pounds but did it help you in a way? Yeah definitely it helps you understand addiction

it helps you understand who you are it's you know the other side to it is the hyper-focusing so I notice now like this weekend I was working on an idea

I like, I tend to write them the initial base of it on my own at home and I go into the office and work with everyone else. But there's a thing called hyperfocus, which is when you, it's like falling in love. It's actually like when I fell in love with Rebecca. The idea hits you and you're just aware that you're really liking, thinking about it. And then you can do, you can think about it at the exclusion of everything. So for those people think that ADHD is just about a scatty attention, it comes with the opposite.

it. And understanding that you've got that and understanding when it's happening and feeling, oh, it's happening now. Good, right, go on then. Just get your iPad out and start writing and enjoy it. And knowing them in that moment is really lovely. Yeah, use it. Well, it's a superpower. It's a superpower.

And I'm aware of it. And that's really useful and interesting. And it's just very part of who I am. You've mentioned like addiction a couple of times. And you've talked a bit before about drinking. Yeah. And enjoying drinking. which I still do

and I've given up a few times but I haven't really So where are you at with that now? Well I drink In a healthy way Yeah I mean yeah I've got better for sure Yeah I've got much better

How have you got better How has that happened? I went to see a guy I've actually got An alcohol doctor The Priory has a branch In Harley Street And I went to see a guy there

And it's just really useful talking to him I take some medication each day Which slightly reduces the cravings But I still drink, I would still like to drink less than I do, but I do drink a lot less and I don't really get in trouble anymore. I think I'd like to give up one day. And I do enjoy it. I mean, that's the reality.

It's like, there's no point pretending I'd enjoy it. I do. I really enjoy it last night. My friend came around and we just spoke for hours and I hadn't seen him for a few years. And, you know, I like it is the issue and not the issue. But I do drink less and I, I, I've done AA a few times. And it just has never really connected. I think you know what it is, is I never liked having a sponsor.

I don't like it when they call me. Not because I'm trying to drink. Just because I just was like, I can't explain it, but I just found it almost a bit boring. And it didn't, A.A's an amazing organisation and it does fantastic work. It's not that. It does not for people, but it doesn't suit everybody. It doesn't always work for everybody. That's why I think that it's quite nice to hear other people's experiences of how you did it.

Like the idea that there is an alcohol doctor. He's great. And I go and see him every few months. It's very much like this. And when you talk, you talk about your drinking, and I can see that he's not worried about me particularly. And, you know, I can talk to him. And, yeah, there's this particular medication that I take that is...

What is it? I forgot what it's called. It does this amazing thing. It lowers how much the alcohol interacts with your brain. So it stops the effect of it so much. So it reduces the effect as well. Yeah, so it doesn't work as well. No, exactly. It doesn't work as well.

So, and that's been good. It actually protects your brain cells a bit from the alcohol. I mean, there's so. much amazing medication out there when you go and explore. Yeah. But look, it's, I obviously am an addict and I think it's for the reasons that we have discussed. But at the moment, I think my life's pretty good.

I'm not in trouble, you know, and I still enjoy it. I think one of the other things that I quite liked hearing about you was that when I was using, I was young and I was obviously trying to heal a hole in my, in my, in my heart that was left by abandonment. You know, I just was like constantly hurting. And I took drugs and it went away. Yeah, of course. And then I'd run out of the drugs and come back again.

Yeah. But you don't, you don't use drink for that. No. You'd use it for happiness. I do. It's interesting. To run towards the joy. That is true.

I remember a friend saying to me, oh, what is it you're running away from? And I said, I don't run away from anything. I think I'm running towards something. I think it is. It's like, yeah, I think when I'm in my most danger. The danger zone for me is like when I get some really good news.

Yes. Not when I get really bad news. I'm sort of less interested in your drinking things. I think, oh, hang on, I better stay focused. I'm unhappy. So it was the opposite. It won't take away unhappiness. It will just make me more unhappy.

Or it'll make me more happy. See what I mean. Yes. It's not a bad news thing for me. It's a good news thing. And I think that's where you can slightly control it, I think. Yeah. So you, I mean, you've lived a huge life already.

You've got a couple of great kids. You're in a wonderful marriage. You've got your own business. You've done so many different begin against throughout your life to get yourself to a place where you are. You feel really happy to me. Yeah. Where do you want to be?

Where are you going? It's a great question, DeVina. I think I'm 50. I love so much coming out with ideas. So I'll keep doing that. I think at the moment we've got quite a lot going on, stuff that isn't announced

but with the company and I'm really confident about what we're doing and I want to try and build this quite quickly now because a lot of it's taken a long time. I want to build this company quickly

and then I'll probably will do something else. I think... What would you like that something else to be? I'm desperate to know. I don't know. I mean, even building a podcast company

is quite interesting. You know, I am doing a podcast now but that actually means something on a much bigger scale. Something that is reactive, something that is you put it out and you get immediate feedback. Yes. And I think after a few years of selling television formats, which is a slow process, in which you're often quite powerless, I think I will probably have the need. And I don't suppose I'd particularly want to go back on the radio because I don't know, having had my own company, do I want to go and work for another company?

Probably not. I've done that. And I like to change my life. You know, I do a TV show and then I leave it. I do a radio show and leave it. And I think I'm really enjoying having a company. I love the people I work with. I love going into the office. We've got a really nice team.

We make each other laugh and we write fun, silly ideas. And sometimes I'm in the office and we're all giggling. And the whole process of creation is, what about this? What if we did that? And I thought, God, isn't this a nice job? It's a nice job. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You enjoy your life.

Yeah. I was writing a show for Snoop Dog last week. It's like, it's, you know, it's silly and fun. I work a lot with Simon Cowell. Now, that's really interesting. And it's like it's a privilege and it's a lovely thing. But I think having, when I've done a few years of this, which as I say is a slow process,

I think I'll want, I will, my nature is to just keep changing and doing something else. I don't want to, I'll never want to think I want to do this same job until I retire or die. Yes. So it will be, I'll flip it all over again. Yeah.

And it will be something that's quicker and more reactive. But I'll always keep changing. You know, when I went to LA, I noticed life slowed down in a good way because when you do the same thing all the time, life goes quite quicker. when I did a lot of radio, I would notice that I couldn't remember one year from the next.

Yeah, that's interesting. You've made so much change. And when you make change, whether you change your environment, your house, your home, your city, your job, in some cases of marriage, you know. Time slows down, I think. And that's important as well.

I don't want to be monotonous, and it's just not who I am anyway. I don't think you ever could be. I hope not. You can't. It's impossible. Richard, I'm coming over for a cuddle. Rebecca, I'm sorry.

Don't worry. I'm living up and married. Michael. This is a platonic hug. Oh my God, you are. Fucking brilliant. So just in case you missed this episode here, if you love this episode, I know you're going to love that.