Begin Again with Davina McCall - Seann Walsh: Why I Had to Get Sober to Start My Life Again

Episode Date: February 5, 2026

This is what it takes to begin again when you feel like you’ve lost everything. In this powerful episode, comedian Seann Walsh opens up about the reality behind the laughs, his turbulent childhood, addiction, and public shaming, and how hitting rock bottom forced him to rebuild his entire life from scratch. Seann shares how sobriety became the turning point that reconnected him with the version of himself he lost in the chaos: the ten-year-old boy who just wanted to make people laugh. He talks honestly about feeling like a failure at the height of success, the deep shame that followed and how he slowly found his way back, not to who he was, but to someone stronger. From becoming a father to falling in love with Grace, Seann reveals the real moments that brought him peace, purpose, and a new path forward. Whether you’re navigating addiction, public failure, or just trying to start over, this episode will show you what it really means to heal. Seann Walsh will be on tour across the UK with his brand-new show This Is Torture from 13th February, with tickets on sale now at https://www.seannwalsh.com 💚 Comment and follow for more honest conversations. Follow Seann: https://www.instagram.com/seannwalsh/ Follow us here:📸 www.instagram.com/beginagain🎥 https://www.tiktok.com/@beginagainpod (00:00) INTRO (02:15) Seann on His Chaotic Childhood and His Dad’s Heroin Addiction(07:20) The Moment That Brought Seann and His Dad Together(12:55) Seann on Family Dysfunction (15:30) Seann on Setting Boundaries and Finding Sobriety(19:36) How Comedy Liberated Seann From a Young Age(22:25) Overcoming Expectations and Dealing with Feelings of Failure(30:11) Lindt Chocolate Ad(31:20) Airbnb Ad(32:25) Seann on Moving Forward After Controversy (36:02) Seann on Meeting Grace and the Proposal Story(43:44) Seann on the Joy He Finds in Parenthood(48:18) Seann on the Life-Changing Advice From His Father(52:02) Seann’s Vision for the Next 10 Years(54:53) A Special Letter From Grace Sponsored by: Discover Lindt Excellence… Expect Delicious. Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at Airbnb.co.uk/Host Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's something else here now. Something new. From. Exclusively on Paramount Plus. It's the series Stephen King calls Scary as Hell. Everything here is impossible, but it's also real. Sci-fi Vision calls it the best show streaming right now. We're running out of time and we still don't know the rules.

Don't miss what the movie blog calls something you need to watch. Saving those children is how we all go home. From binge all episodes exclusively on Paramount Plus. You think the reason you're drinking is because you want to be drunk. But actually, the reason you're drinking is because you don't want to be sober. So at 33, wake up. Who the hell are you? Good to be here.

Today, I'm joined by the phenomenal Sean Walsh, one of the biggest voices in comedy. We grew up with my dad smoking heroin around the household that we came from was chaotic. And then there were these adults that I'm watching on TV. trapped in Lauren Hardy and they're being funny it opened up a universe for me What changed? We talk a bit about the pressure

to be perfect for everyone all the time I was 24 doing live at the Apollo feeling like a failure I just want to go back and shake him or hug him He shares how even when you feel like you've lost everything moments of grief and trauma

love has a way of finding you again You can't go back to where you were before that happened in your life. You can't delete what's happened. You can have to go forward in a different direction. That took me many, many years to work out. If there's one thing I took from this conversation, it's this. Life doesn't wait for anyone. But if you are brave enough to just show up, it will meet you where you are with the chance to begin again. So Sean Walsh, here you are in the seat. It's really, really nice.

nice to have you on Begin Again. And I'm really looking forward to talking to you because you really have been reborn. Yes. I feel. And it's been a tough journey and I want to unpick that with you. So I guess, I mean, really, I want to start with your childhood because, again, you know, you had a turbulent childhood. chaotic maybe. Yeah, I think, yeah, chaotic.

But of course, it's, you know, my parents are still alive. I'm very conscious of that. I'm conscious of what I say. But my dad, my dad has given me full permission to kind of say whatever I want about him. But so essentially what I think you're alluding to is my dad's drug addiction, class A drug addiction, a heroin was his choice. And he was a heroin addict from, you know, my birth. He was a heroin addict before I was born.

So that's all I knew, really, going into the world. And it takes quite a long time to realize that that is not normal. Because, of course, that is your normal. All of our childhoods, that's our normal. We don't know another universe. What was that like? what did not normal look like and how old were you when you realised?

Because I think I had something similar with my mum. I just thought mum's didn't turn up. Yeah. Mums just forgot you. And I thought that mum's, you know, flashed people. I just thought my mum was normal. Yeah.

But then I was about maybe six or seven, I think, when I was like, oh, hang on a minute, my friend's mum's aren't like this. That's interesting. Because my dad told me, to not, he told me and my brother to not tell anyone about what he was doing. He would freely smoke heroin.

He never ejected. He told me, I think he tried that a couple of times. We were never witnessed to any of that. But we grew up with my dad smoking heroin around the house. That was just as I say normal. He did then tell us

I remember in Brighton and I moved to Brighton when we were like 10. So some point at early secondary school. So we're talking, I don't know, between 11 and, you know, 11, 12, I imagine, that he said, don't tell anyone about this.

So he knew that maybe you were going to go somewhere and it was going to be a bit different, like new people. Yeah, maybe. Or just get into an age where suddenly he realized that children were, you know, conscious or, what's the word I'm looking for? Sentient, you know, that we would be able to say, My dad does this thing where he rolls up kitchen tissue and gets tinfoil and burns this brown stuff on it.

And he told us not to tell anyone. From that point, I remember, that was the first time that I think I became aware that whatever this thing was that he was doing. And I didn't know it was heroin necessarily. But the thing that he was doing was wrong in some way. But it took a lot longer than, you know, you said there, was it six or seven? I mean, I would be an adult.

I would be, I'm talking not long ago. But was he then still a responsible dad? Would he pick you up, come get you? Would he take you somewhere? Could he drive? Well, I suppose. I don't know, you know, absolutely. My mum drove drunk all the time.

Like, it was horrific. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My dad told me that he tried driving lessons and fell asleep. Yeah, because he was high, right? Or probably on a cold turkey or something. Yeah, yeah. I mean, the thing I would say to you is, you know, I don't know how this relates to alcoholism,

but when you grow up with a heroin addict as a father, the irony is. And I think a lot of people in the same situation, would be able to relate to this is you want your dad on that thing that he smokes because the problem is not when he's on it and I think correct me if I'm wrong I think that's different perhaps to alcohol you actually you probably don't want your mum drunk well actually when you're a kid you want your dad on that thing because if he's on that thing then we've got a man in a good mood we've got an upbeat dad we've got a dad who's handing out a score 20 quid go and enjoy yourself

The problem with having a parent that relies on that drug in particular is when they're not on it. Then they're not present. You know, my dad was either he was either on heroin or he was horizontal in bed. Right. That's it. And there's no, there is no middle ground between those two things. So, so, yes, we kind of wanted him on that. which is a very strange kind of, I don't know,

I mean, that's obviously a strange place to be. But I don't think it's strange because it's better than not. Absolutely. And I totally get that. The thing is, and again, you know, I think becoming a parent, you know, it's a lot to do with kind of, is an awakening, for obvious reasons of life, but particularly if you've had a parent that's an addict,

is he would he the one thing we did with my dad and it was the only thing I think it was the only thing we did was that he took us to QPR he moved over in the 70s with QPR famously had a very good team and so we would go to Loftus Road

on Saturdays and that was my happy place as a kid And it still is now. I was there on Saturday and we won. And I've got a rule that I don't check my phone. Yes, thank you very much. We beat the league leaders.

But it's, I don't think it's any coincidence. If I'm allowed to analyse my own life for a second, I don't think it's any coincidence that the one thing that I did with my dad, which was, you know, him taking us to West London. I end up moving to Shepard's Bush when my agent in my early 20 says, you need to motor land then May, that I go to the place where I went with my dad.

I don't, that's just not a coincidence, I don't think. And when my brother, a couple of seasons ago, said that he was thinking of ending his season ticket, he's a postman, you know, it's a lot of money. And he has to travel up.

Yeah. He has, I live around the corner, he has to travel up. and I said, you know, fine if you want to do that. But this team is the only, this is the thing that he kind of, he's left us, he's alive, but it's the thing he gave us. It's the only time me and you see each other, this is our family, this club. And luckily he, I think he knew how much it meant to me that he would be there.

And so he renewed his season ticket. But I think outside of my dad taking us to. QPR. There wasn't, we didn't go on family holidays. There's no family, there's no family holidays or, or anything like that. My dad, if my mum was taking us out to social events, to, you know, if my mum was meeting up with her friends, my dad would have been there. He was not a social, we didn't, we certainly didn't see a social side of my dad. Like, at all, at all. I remember being the QPR once in a while and a man saying to me, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're Michael Walsh's son and me saying yeah and he went like oh your dad's a top fella you know

what lovely bloke your dad is i'm thinking who who who have you met what because i couldn't imagine my my dad in a kind of social situation in which he would be i don't know what's the you know condivial acceptable yeah convivial just just yeah chatty and social social i am what's fascinating for me listening to you. So I was a heroin addict. I feel so lucky that I managed to separate my life into different acts. I mean, a bit like you have. You know, you've got one act from this time.

You've got another. Yeah, but you know, it's like... I do think of my life like that. Yes, absolutely. It's like being reborn. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, like you are a different person to the person you were when you were a kid. But he's sort of stayed the same.

He's like... It's, heroin stunted my emotional growth. Like it just, um... Arrested development? Arrested development. And then at 24, I literally burst into life. That's amazing. And, um, and found myself.

Yeah, I'm very happy for you because that's, that's not easy. That finding yourself is, um, is huge. And it kind of sounds, you know, it could sound. shade, but it's, you know, I know it's not, and you know it's not, but, you know, for 16 to 24, if you talk, you know, legally, you're an adult at 18, 24, six years, six years, you've not, you've not spent a day with the real divina in those, in those six years, you know, so it's, it's very huge. Is your dad still using?

No, no, no, I mean, years ago, I did a show about this. This is why I had to ask him permission to talk about it. because I didn't, I wasn't going to do it if I didn't have him say yes. And he said, shall I couldn't give a shit. Talk about it if you want. I couldn't care less. So I, so I did. And he had stopped at that point.

And he was in the show. I did this show and it touched on mine and my dad's relationship. This is true. I met him to. to, what is it now? I met him to, almost like a journalist, really. I met him to ask him some questions that would maybe help my story in the show.

What, you know, just his story, his story with the drug. And it was there that I discovered that he hadn't taken it in a couple of years. But that's mad that you didn't know that. No, we weren't really. communicating at that point. So this brought you back together?

Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It did, yeah. I mean, we're still quite distant, me my dad, but we do talk. He texts me after the QPR game, but it's, yeah, we're just not that kind of family. We're not, you know, we never had,

and I think this goes with something, we never had a table at home. You know, the thing of, one of the things that... No, Michelle. I get, you know, can I just say something? That is so, that tells me so much. Right, right. Like a table is a basic family need.

Right. What are you going to sit round? Absolutely. To play Uno. Exactly. Right? And do you know what? One of my first girlfriends,

I, I remember having dinner around their house. And we had to sit around the table. And it was this mortifying thing. What, I've got to look at you? Yeah, we've got to sit around the table with your parents. parents. We're going to sit around. Why the parent? I don't want to sit with your parents. It was so scary because I wasn't used to this. And the reason they did it and she used to hate it. She was wonderful. She used to hate it. And I remember I used to say to her, no, this is,

this is so important because her dad would ask everyone, she had a brother, and ask everyone how their day had been. And at first, at first I found it mortifying. I hated the concept. And then I grew to love it. And obviously, that's what we do at home. Obviously, we have the table, the kids now, me and grace with the kids, we have it around the table. It's so important the table to family. I think there's a book in that.

You know, the table. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When I talk about teenagers, I always, my girlfriend told me to never say no to a teenager. And I was like, I don't get that. Like, what? Yeah. That's impossible. How can you not say no to a teenager?

She said, they're teenagers. They're coming into adulthood. Yeah. They need a negotiation. And you take them to the negotiating table. That's fantastic. And you sit down and you go, okay, tell me what you want. Okay, the reason why I'm having a problem that is because of this.

I've got to get up really early in the morning. I don't want to come and pick you up at 3 o'clock in the morning. Yeah. Can we negotiate on the time? You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. That's fantastic. I'm having that.

They negotiate a bit. I negotiate a bit. Yeah. They feel heard. I feel heard, no argument. Yes. No leaving the room and going, I hate you. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I've got that to come, but I'm using that. That's why you've got a table now as well. Yeah, absolutely. For later, negotiating. Exactly, yeah. So, like, how do you create a safe environment for you in relationships when you're growing up? Like, that's really hard. Well, I think, you know, no boundaries is something that I've kind of had to,

I mean that you know and we'll get to that I'm sure but not you know not drinking was so important into you know in creating

boundaries and kind of pathways of existing when did you stop drinking I stopped drinking about what were 2026 I stopped drinking 2020

2020 in 2020 in 2019 I made the decision to stop. And I did well, but I had a few blowouts. And I only ever did blowouts. I say every time I drank it was a blowout. You know, it was nuclear. So I had a few blowouts that in 2019 and then after that I managed to not have a drop since. And how's that been? It's what surprises me, this is the thing. What surprised. What surprises me is not wanting to do that at all.

That's what you can never imagine. You can imagine not drinking because you've got, you've kind of made this choice that you've got to not drink, but you can't ever imagine that one day you won't want to do. Yes. Even if somebody said you could magically drink again and not have a problem with it, you don't want to. No, not at all.

I feel the same. You're absolutely right. I hadn't, when you said that, I was like, well, hang on a second, but you're right. You are right. I think there's a great freedom in not wanting to do that or not needing to do that. And what took a while, what you've, okay, what you realize and you're probably, you don't drink that, do you? No. So, so I think you'll know this, but you might have your own, you know, you might have your own experience of this is you think the reason you're drinking is because you want to be drunk. but actually the reason you're drinking is because you don't want to be sober. That is big. That's a big thing to realize.

Now when you're sober, you've got, I drank from 17 till 33, 33, 34. You know, that's a, that means no adulthood. That's, that's, you've gone from child, teenager and then just, not grown up at all. So at 33, wake up, who the hell are you? I had absolutely no idea. What were my interests?

Yes, okay. But you know what are you going to do? Because you used to wake up and I was never someone, I was never someone that woke up and had a drink. I was never that person. But what I was, is I was someone that woke up and thought,

I can't wait to have a drink. I can't wait for tonight to get on it. Yeah, absolutely. that was your that was your day that was your motive in life is whatever you're going to do you know after that after that after that we'll get shit faced brilliant get on it well that's gone well that now what is there to look forward to that that takes some recalibrating you know and once that is a gradual process but once you start to see the benefits of not drinking,

feel the benefits of not drinking, you know, you realise how powerful it is. What were they? What could you see and what could you feel? I think that, okay, so I was trying to think of how to kind of manage this in my own mind, but I think there's a story here of I wanted to be a comedian from,

I used to do stand-up in the playground at, as a 10-year-old boy at primary school. This was in London before we moved. And my mum would show me Chaplin and Laurel and Hardy. They were on in the mornings. And sometimes because there was no bedtime, I would be up when whose line is it anyway was on. I remember watching that in South East London.

My parents would be up talking and I would be watching whose line is it anyway. These people, these adults, it was so crucial to me, I think, that they were adults. Because I saw kind of adults as these disciplinarian, you know, things. They were there to tell you off. They were there to say no. And then there were these adults that I'm watching on TV, chapter, Lauren Hardy, the cast of whose line is to tell you way.

And they're adults and they're being funny. and they're being childish. They've been very physical and very silly. And I think as a child I just, that blew my mind, it opened up a universe for me. And even as a child, I would think about comedy. It was totally bizarre. I would think of sketches.

Do you know, the other thing I was thinking about, though, was that if you weren't getting noticed a lot at home, you were just kind of left to your own devices. There's something about, you learning a skill to get you noticed. So at school, you're going, I'm here. Nobody sees me outside of this place. You're going to see me because I'm funny.

Do you know what I mean? Yeah, absolutely. And, you know, therapists have said the same. But I think, of course that's, I think there is a truth in that, of course. But on a conscious level as opposed to an unconscious level, I just it just made me so happy and we and you know

you can break that down and we can look into the wise but actually on the surface of things which is still important it just brought me so much joy it just brought me so much joy comedy I mean laughing

it's just this it's this magical thing are you having a better time when are you having a better time than when you're laughing it's just so wonderful And so as a child, there was this thing I wanted to do. I didn't really know about stand-up as such,

but I wanted to be a comedy actor. I wanted to be a comedian in some sense. And once I became one, something went wrong and drink in my early 20. My mid-20s, Bose really started to kind of win. Can I ask you something about that? Yeah, of course. So is it that like you had this dream

And I want to do it and I want to do it And then you got there and it didn't quite Fix the thing that you thought Or the it didn't itch the scratch that you had Absolutely I think the problem I think again it's taken me way I feel like it's taking me way too long to learn this Is that

If When what was happened in my stand-up career didn't match what I had kind of envisioned that really threw me off that really threw me off I didn't understand

how... Oh so you wanted you wanted to do better but was that because you were drinking? Was your drinking holding you back in terms of comedy? I didn't hold... I'm in a strange position

where... You did a lot, didn't you? Early on, I, you know, as in all the finals of the competitions, I won some of the competitions. I, you know, I was, you've got to, you, I did not listen to these things. But you're told you're going to be an arena comic. You're going to be this, you're going to be that. When that doesn't, it's not when that, it's not with that, you know, as a 40-year-old man now, I. Yeah, but you were different then.

Yeah, but I get, I kind of, what did I think? I was going to be an arena comic when I was 26. You know, these, the, I look back now and I think, you, I felt like I'd failed way too soon. Yeah. I was 24, probably, right? Doing live at the Apollo. Wow.

And, well, I think I was, yeah, I did, I've done two 20, two live at the Apollos. I'm doing live at the Apollo and, I'm doing live at the Apollo and, and thinking, I failed. If you look at, it's an interesting, it's, I was going to say it's interesting, it might not be interesting for anyone. But the first live at the Apollo I do, I went a purple suit and I look in much better nick, I got my long hair, my highlights. And it's a very energetic set. And I'm there to, this is my moment. And it went down wonderfully on the night. If you look at the second life at the Apollo, I bloated, my hair is. like it's too long. I've just kind of let go. And I've got a big beard. And I look. I don't, I see it sometimes, you know, in the internet, someone's used a picture of you on a poster or whatever. And I could just see it's like, there's a young man on live at the Apollo that thinks he's a failure. You're on live at the Apollo. I just want to go back and shake him. Why did you feel a failure? Or hug him. Or hug him. Yeah, well, absolutely. Absolutely. Yes, you're right. Absolutely.

So that feeling of failing, I just, I just didn't want to be, I just didn't want to be me. And I just wanted to escape via booze. And so to come back, to come back to what you said, a while back is, you know, which is, what have you discovered? I said this to someone recently. And I said, I think I said it might sound strange, but not drinking. connected me with the 10-year-old me that was doing stand-up in the playground again. And that was so, that was so crucial. How amazing is that?

I was doing, when we came out of lockdown, you know, and audiences were sparse. I was doing, I still had a tour booked in for some reason. There was something, I was doing tour shows to very, very few people, very few people. What was that like? But, well, here's the thing. This is the strange thing. By that point, because I'd had lockdown was, you know, it was a huge time for everyone in the world. But for me, the world paused.

I needed that. I needed that break. I needed time away from the world to, kind of heal. Yeah. And so when I go to tour and those audiences are sparse, this is crazy. I didn't take it for granted that those, I think I was doing, I remember doing the whole truck theatre.

And I don't know, there must have been, honestly, if 30 people in a, you know, a decent size theatre, there's not one bit of me that was phased by that. I was so happy that those, you know, 30 people had chosen to see me. And I thought, I'm going to give them the best time. I don't care. I don't care. I'm so lucky to be doing this. Isn't that amazing when you think about you just telling me about second Apollo?

I know. Isn't it mad? And you're looking at this guy at the Apollo theatre feeling like a failure. Total failure. And then how many years later was that? 10? 12 years later you are playing to 30 people

so so full of gratitude Yes Exactly a lot of gratitude How beautiful Yes But you know this show is called Begin Again

Yes And there are so many ways That you've done that No but it's a beautiful thing Because there are going to be people watching Who have Felt like you We all have failures

Yes I'm done I'm 25, I'm 30, it's over, my life is over, but it's not. And you can pick yourself up and you can start from scratch and be so full of gratitude because it's the thing you love. Absolutely. It's beautiful. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's very powerful and I think it's importantly, it's positive. And I know that's a simple word to use in this instance, but just being positive. And of course being positive attracts positivity. Of course, it does. Just like negativity attracts negativity. You know, it's, I don't play to those numbers anymore. And I don't think that that's, I don't think, again, that's, if I'd got into those rooms, I'd seen that there was only 20 something people in a theatre.

And I'd gone out. And I would have been, I think you'd be in your rights to be deflated about that. And just try to get through it and end it so that you can get out there and try and put that behind you. That is not going to, you know, lend itself to increasing those numbers. Yeah. That, you know, to increasing the feeling good about yourself, if better you feel about yourself, the more you're going to attract. So I think that was, yeah, I think that's very, very crucial. That ladies and gentlemen is the sound of our new sponsor.

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Amazon presents Jeff versus Taco Truck Salsa, whether it's Verde, Roja, or the orange one. For Jeff, trying any salsa is like playing Russian roulette with a flamethrower. Luckily, Jeff saved with Amazon and stocked up on antacids, ginger tea and milk. Habaniero? More like Habinier, yes.

Save the everyday with Amazon. I would like to talk about Strictlygate because my feeling is that we are good people and you're a good man that made a mistake but it hurt people. You know, you have to. you had some personal stuff going on that you were trying to deal with and you were doing that in the public eyes.

So talk to me about where you were at because you were hot. You were hot comedian like happening strictly, wow, bang. Listen, very, very, very difficult for me, probably anyone to be able to try and kind of condense that. But, well, I've said this before. one of the things that become so surreal is the seeming, the seeming kind of enjoyment and pleasure that people took

from your life being kind of pulled apart was so... I think that what? Sorry. I completely understand what. You're saying, I... It's horrible talking about it, right? Because you're remembering what it felt like. Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely.

And, you know, obviously I know there are other people involved, so I don't want to... Absolutely, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't want to hurt their feelings. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. And I want to respect them as well. Yeah, yeah, sure. So let's not do that.

But what I want to talk about, because people get cancelled all the time. Yeah, I know, yeah. This is modern life. Yeah. And... I think it was before the term cancelled had been coined. Mm.

Mm. Yeah. But it's, um... It's that feeling of everything disappearing overnight. Yes. And you just talk to me about what that, how that manifested. It's something I live with. You can't really go back to where you were before that happened in your life.

No. That has happened, right? And you're going to live for the rest of your life with that having happened. You can't delete what's happened. So you're going to have to go forward, not back, and you're going to have to go forward in a different direction to where you were going. And I think that took me many, many years to work out. But as soon as I learned that, it made it easier that, you've got to live.

with this. You can't delete this. It's unfortunately or fortunately it's part of you and now let's move forward. Can I just say I think that's actually a brilliant piece of advice for anyone that's come across some major problems in their life?

Absolutely. I will never be the same person again. Absolutely not. Yeah. That's kind of an amazingly liberating feeling. I've just to become a new person with the thing that I did. Totally. Totally. Yeah, I really mean that. Yeah.

What's nice is we were talking about this turnaround in lockdown and how kind of life began. You needed that space to heal, to lick your wounds, to reset. Yeah. To rebuild your life and to think about who you were. You know, you said, what do I want? I've got all this space now. in my life like what do I what do I need what do I who am I kind of just like a reset but Grace

Grace comes along and you meet her at that time as well yeah so how did you meet Grace we we met we we actually I was going down the escalators or in marble arch tube station yeah and she was going up the escalators shut the front door and so we had to part meet to cute at that point. And then a couple of days later, so she did, the kind of romantic story is slightly marred by the fact that she knew who I was. Because a couple of days later, I saw a follow on, this is how people meet. Now, I saw a follow on it on Instagram and it was, I was like, that's the girl.

Oh my God, you remembered her. From the escalator. Oh my God, escalator girl. Escalator girl. This is amazing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So then, of course, when I slid into the DMs,

can I just ask something, are you the girl from the escalators, and then there you go. But what I did, let me tell you. Oh, my God, that is amazing. Well, you're like, you might like this, you might not, well, so. For proposal,

to propose, what we did is, I was, there was a stretch. I was very, very busy last year. And I said what I had pitched was, little did she know the truth, but what I had pitched was,

like, I'm so busy, you know, I can't go find ring. Because I've got to, I've got to propose, we would have to go on holiday. I'm not proposing like just anywhere. Like, uh, in Shepherd's Bush. Exactly. So what are we going to, you know, let's, okay,

tell what we do. We'll book up. Let's have just an engagement. engagement day where we go and get your ring. So you decide on, you know, the ring. We're doing engagement today. So she kind of acquiesces with this, I imagine. She's not particularly, I don't think this is the ideal. This is not the most romantic way of doing it. But what I then did is I, the ring that she chose that she thought she wanted, I then contacted, contacted the person that made that ring. And I got the ring without grace.

snowing and then on the engagement day I what we did is she's awful with transport she's like no idea what do you mean just no idea what still no idea what line is which where it goes that's so key eastbound westbound

westbound like just absolutely no idea okay do you know what I mean it is quite cute isn't it like it could be cute it could be unbearable on days. But so what we do is, I know, she'll have no idea that if I, say we go,

we drive into town, this is how little she knows, we drive into town, we're driving to look at the ring. Quote, unquote. And I say, well, do you know what? There's no, there's no way we're going to get through London now.

We're best to just park up and get on the tube. Which is just like, if you just looked around through the window, you would see. It's absolutely fine. He's lying. But I knew she would just go, oh, right, okay.

So I park up. We go into Marble Arch Tube Station and we're going down the escalators. Right? We're going down the escalators. We're going down the escalators. And I, and then we get to the bottom. And then I go, typical, the Elizabeth line's not running.

There is no Elizabeth flight on the Marble Arch tube station. But I know she'll have no idea. And she goes, oh, right, we're going to have to go back up. to get the central line. Central line's not upstairs. It's downstairs. So we're going up the escalators. When we get halfway through, I run up and run down with the ring, open the ring as we're sliding down. Slide it. I'm not sliding down the escalators.

So she sees the ring in the box there. There you go. That's amazing. Yeah. One detail I left out is I hadn't thought about what happens after that point. And you're both at different ends. Yeah. So she comes down and I go up. That was again completely messed it up.

They got down on one knee at the top of the second escalator and an American guy just walked past away. Congratulations. That's it. Oh, that is so lovely. Oh my God. That was last year.

That was last year in the summer. Absolutely mega. Yeah. Congratulations. Bless you. Thank you. So, Grace. Grace.

What happened? Like, when you met and you started DMing each other. Yes. Like, what was it about Grace? We just had such a good time. We had such a fun time together. When we met up, we had such a laugh. And we felt so, I think we felt so comfortable.

Easy. So, so. easy. Well, that's liking yourself, right? It's no... And do you know what? Yeah.

Do you know what? I'll tell you something here that... Yeah, it's, you know, it's a... I think it's a big thing to kind of say to open up about is that I remember... I don't know if it was early doors.

But I, over whatever reason, and I hope this is an okay thing to share, but whatever reason I slapped. Not like at her about something, but I just snapped, whatever. Don't know what it was. It would have been a very small thing. And I snapped. And Grace went, do you think

that was an acceptable way to both? And I'd never had that before. Because I come from the household that we came from was shouting. Yeah, it was chaos. It was chaos and was shouted. That's how we communicated. And when she said that, she said it quietly. Very.

Yeah. Amazing, right? The power of that. Yeah, the power of that. The fact that I had to answer it. Well, the fact that I had to go, no. Oh. Oh, yeah.

But, you know, that was. That from someone you love. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. And Grace just looks out. Just not, yeah, she's the best at, um... She knows you. She knows me, but she, it's not she knows.

It's understands. I think we understand each other. We have, uh, we have a great time. We're, we're in the process right now. We've got the three-year-old and, uh, an 11 month old now. Yeah, my God. And so we don't get that much time to like, we don't get our own time, which we are both aware is.

It's very important. We're trying to figure out how to do that more. But last night we got some time, and it was so wonderful. It was Wilder's birth, my oldest daughter's birthday party. Great names, by the way. Wilder and Casca like unbelievably good names. Bravo. The Wilder had a birthday party.

And we just stayed up last night, just talking about Wilder. And it was just absolutely, what was not being? in heaven. Just talking about your, you know, the things you love the most with the person you love the most. It's absolutely, but yeah, I mean, there's nothing like it. I've said about childhood actually, about, sorry, about parenthood is that it's like, it's like trying to, when I've got, when I've got friends that haven't got kids,

it's like trying to like explain an undiscovered color. You know, like. That's so great. There's a colour. Well, what's it looked like? Well, it's a new colour. I can't. Yeah.

That's what it feels like to me. I mean, having had the childhood that you had, were you nervous about having kids? Because I was, what happens if I can't do it because I didn't have a mum to show me how to do it? Do you know what? Grace, we were, for some, we were a florist in Westland.

florist and the woman who I think owns the florist her child was in Grace's works with kids and her child was in and Grace taught her child and Grace is so so so wonderful with children and I fought that day oh God I hope she's the mother of my children and it was the next life that she told me she was pregnant so very very very very nice neat coincidence I'm very very lucky my

Wilders and Casper's grandparents or you know Grace's parents are the just most wonderful wonderful wonderful people and they don't table I mean you

Table isn't it nice now we know we just have to say the word table exactly and I know what you mean yeah yeah but they it's the opposite it really is the opposite of of just even the look of

the look of the houses, everything. They're so solid. Solid and stable. And so I have to say I didn't, I didn't have what you had.

I didn't, I wasn't, I was, I had obviously, you know, natural nerves. But I don't think. But you felt like prepared and like Grace,

Grace and you as a team kind of we've got this together and... Yeah, I think that... I think, you know, life... Life has given me enough and put enough... You know, and chucked enough at me. I've chucked enough at myself for me to have learnt, I think, a lot

to be able to help with... To help my children not have the chaos and the kind of anarchy that I had. You know, very early doors, they're still young. But I feel I've seen and experienced enough to be able to have some, dare I say it, about myself, but have some wisdom. Are you protective of them? More so than, like, yeah.

My family friend, Michelle, who I love dearly, Michelle was making a roll-up in the living room the other day. I'm the same of mine. Michelle, she's not allowed to see that, get rid of that. She's not even smoking it. Of course, not were indoors, but she was, yeah, it's like Michelle, no. I don't want to have seen someone make a roll-up, so I hope I don't go to the other way, but I'm very conscious.

I'll tell you why. I'll tell you something that occurred to me is my dad's, my dad, He kind of had one mantra that he left me, certainly me with. When it was late at night, me and my dad would walk to the petrol station very late at light so he could pick up money to score or to get some tobacco. And the thing he left me with is to say, Sean, do what you want to do. I always do what you want to do in this life. He hated his job and he didn't want me to hate mine.

So as much as there were low, what was the words you used earlier at boundaries, as much as there weren't any boundaries, what actually came with that. The caveat to all of the bad stuff was that there was a freedom in not being kind of restricted and going for what you want out of life. So even as a child, you could, if you wanted to be a comedian or an act,

you could do it. Well, that's such a gift. There isn't it? So it is, it's a strange. It's a thing you've got to weigh up. Philosophically, it's a big... With my mum. Yeah.

You know, it was carnage. But I am half my mum. Absolutely. She is in me. Yes. And I'm grateful for some of the funny things that she's gifted me. My half wild child is her. Yeah.

And I'm glad I'm half. Yeah. Like, I like dancing till late. And I like, I'm 58 and I'm going to grow old really, disgracefully. Like, I'm really looking forward to that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's her. Yeah. I'm grateful. Yes. It was fucking tough.

Right. And I think your dad has given you some good things, you know. Oh, absolutely. No, absolutely. Made you who you are and you're on such a journey of self-discovery, I feel. Yes. But he, you know, he said do what you want. He took us to KPR. Yeah. And so if you look at that, I live by QPR. You're going to take a kid, right?

And I do what I want. Oh, absolutely. Gotcha. I do what I want and I live by QPR. The other thing that he said, which I ignored, the only other kind of thing, to his QPR, what would you do what you want and read. He was obsessed with trying to get me to read.

And I think it was this, I loved films. And read it. I couldn't get my head. I was in all the bottom sets at school. I have no GCSEs. I won in drama. But, you know, I was a naughty kid. So books I just could, I could barely read.

Do you read now? And now I read. And I've got the dictionary app. And every word I don't know. It's in the dictionary app. I try to learn it. Right, that's in there. So I am very, very, very aware of,

you know, what you can get as a child, what you can get from your parents. Because there's a lot of chaos there. There's only a few things that my dad actually, yeah, as I say, QPR don't you want a book. And your kids will remember everything. Exactly. So, you know, you can plant these healthy seeds into their life. We'll see, we'll see, you know, but I'm very aware of those seeds. seeds that you plant growing and what they can do because I didn't get many but with the ones

I did I followed them. I'd like to talk to you about being 40. I'm going to round up with being 40. The last 10 years have been big for you. Like they've been like seismic, you know, you've, you've shape shifted in quite a massive way. Like you've been through a lot. Like what does 40 to 50 look like?

Where do you want to be at 50? Well, do you know what? Career aside, for a second, comedy aside, that thing I love doing aside, as a parent, you're very lucky because you've been given this thing, you know, children that you get to watch grow. And really that's...

It is a miracle, isn't it? Yeah, and that's what... That's what you're looking for. to the most is them growing up. And how much you learn from them and everything, it's like, it's just they, my children have taught me so much about myself. Oh, that's one. And patience.

And, um, I mean, now my children keep me so grounded because my kids just take the piss out of me relentlessly. Yeah. And I kind of love it. It's so funny. I, I, while I think she, unfortunately, gets this from me. but Wilder would be, you know, she would kind of almost immediately panic. You know, if she can't, if she's getting, you know, she's getting your t-shirt on

and they can't get the arms through, you know, the start, you know, over the last year or so, Wilder, if we can't do it, where do we do, we do it slowly. Slowly. And it should do it slowly. Oh, that's great, though. Right? So always that's very, that's very, look at you.

Yeah. Who are you? I know. And then the other day I couldn't. I couldn't. I'm panicking. And I'm trying to find a spoon. I couldn't find the spoon.

I couldn't find the spoon. And then I said, well, I don't. Daddy, slowly. Oh. But it's happening already. That's it. She's barely free. Oh, she's not even free.

What am I talking about as I suppose? She's still two. I've got a two-year-old telling me to calm down. But isn't that perfect? Yeah. I mean, a bit like I was saying about grace being able to talk to you honestly. Your kids are the ones that can talk to you honestly and say something to you and you will never be angry with them because they are telling you the truth in a kind way.

It is absolutely amazing. Yeah. What, you know, your future, the next 10 years are going to be amazing. Yes. It's wonderful. We're very blessed. I've got one thing to finish with. Go.

How long have we been talking? No, I'd like nearly two hours. Oh my good Lord. This is a letter for you from Grace. Oh, God. And we were just wondering if you would read it out to us. Oh, God. Okay.

Oh, no. Oh, God. I feel sick. Is this on every show? We do try and get something. for everybody. Not from Grace. Not from Grace.

Grace is on every show. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, no. What I admire most about Sean, which I have told him before, is his unwavering dedication to his work slash dream. Despite life's challenges,

he's never given up. He continues to write and create and his shows just keep getting better with each passing year. I'm just so proud of what he does and has achieved, especially how he inspires our daughter and will eventually inspire our son.

While he certainly had a profound impact on me, I'd say the most tangible change is that he's turned me into a coffee connoisseur to quote Sean, I show you that. Tell me. I'm always telling her. When we met she was on the instant coffee. And so I've showed her like the world of like the long black.

You've changed her life. I've changed her life. I really have for the better. Coffee is important. We're like the ultimate odd couple. Yeah, but I love that. We do our own thing and then come together to just be. We take long walks around West London, drink coffee and just talk about whatever is going on that week.

Obviously 9 out of 10, that's. something Wilder has done. Parenting's been a wild ride, but I couldn't be happier that I get to do it with Sean. He is so loving, so generous, so playful, and so affectionate with them both. I'm grateful for Sean's understanding and support of our co-sleeping decision.

Oh. That is a big deal. Was that a decision? Or was that for, no. That's, yeah, I'm in with Wilder. Grace is in with... You know you, um, Catherine Ryan. is a big co-sleeping advocate.

Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, it's my favourite thing. I think it's amazing and it makes them feel very safe. Do you know what? This is good. Wilder the other night, she woke up, I went in,

cuddled her to sleep. I then, I don't know why I did this. I think it's because I wanted to watch TV in bed. So I went into our main bed. bedroom. And in the morning, what I just said, Daddy, you weren't there to look after me. Right. I am never, ever getting out that bed ever again. Ever. I'm in there till she's 30. I don't care. I do not care. A husband to be like, it's got to be time that your dad gets out of the bed. I'm not going anywhere. Sorry, mate. But you know, my dad was like, my dad,

like that, like I'd want to sit on his knee and give him cuddles like until he died. Like I was, you know, it just never stops. No. Anyway, go on, go on. There's more. There's more. Sorry. He never pressures me to get the kids to sleep on their own and instead prioritises their needs.

It's truly amazing and it makes me love him even more. Having a partner like Sean makes navigating parenthood feel more manageable. But after saying all of this, I'd also like to ask him public. What does it say? To stop leaving banana skins on the side. Well. Do you? Hey, maybe.

I might have an issue. She's funny. She is funny. Yes, she's very funny. And I might have issues putting banana skins in the bin. Yeah. Sean? Thanks.

Oh, absolutely. I don't.