Begin Again with Davina McCall - Si King: How Grief Shapes You, Overcoming My Breakdown & Finding Peace After Divorce!

Episode Date: October 15, 2026

How do you begin again after losing someone who was a huge part of your life? In this heartfelt episode of Begin Again, Hairy Bikers star Si King joins Davina McCall for a conversation about grief, friendship, love and finding purpose after the heartbreaking loss of his best friend and TV partner, Dave Myers. Si opens up about the extraordinary bond he shared with Dave, from their first meeting to building the beloved Hairy Bikers together, and the devastating reality of watching his closest friend battle cancer. He reflects on navigating life without Dave and how he's slowly learning to embrace a new chapter while keeping Dave's memory alive. He also shares his own remarkable journey of resilience, from losing his father at just eight years old to surviving a life-threatening brain aneurysm, experiencing a mental health breakdown and learning to rebuild his life. Alongside these personal moments, Si discusses the healing power of food, family and community, his passion for bringing people together, and the exciting new projects giving him renewed purpose and joy. 🌟Like, comment and subscribe for more honest conversations about purpose, resilience, love, loss and beginning again. Follow us here: 📸www.instagram.com/beginagain  🎥https://www.tiktok.com/@beginagainpod  ✨Sign up for the Begin Again newsletter for behind-the-scenes access, recommendations and much more: https://linkly.link/2g2xm  Follow Si King here:  📸https://www.instagram.com/sikingofficial/  🎥https://www.youtube.com/@SiKingOfficial  Buy ‘Proper Home Cooking’ by Si King at: https://www.orionbooks.co.uk/titles/si-king/proper-home-cooking/9781399642842/  We'd love you to share your Get Busy Living stories with us at https://getbusyliving.beginagainshow.com/ (00:00) Intro (01:14) Si's new cookbook 'Proper Home Cooking' (06:53) Losing His Dad At 8 Years Old (10:29) How Grief Led Him To Motorbikes (17:53) Monzo GBL Ad (19:29) Working With Ant & Dec (24:09) How Si Met Dave Myers (31:00) What Brought Si & Dave Together (33:08) How The Hairy Bikers Began (34:48) Monzo 90 Days Ad (35:53) Opening His Own Restaurant (39:48) Processing Dave's Death (41:26) Finding Out Dave Had Cancer (44:35) Life After Losing Dave (45:09) Si's Brain Aneurysm (46:37) Divorce And Staying Friends With His Ex-Wife (57:01) Starting A YouTube Channel (59:25) His New Business (01:00:18) What's Next For Si? Sponsored by: Download Monzo. Monzo Current Accounts are for 16+ and UK residents. Ts&Cs Apply. Integrated accounting with Pro and Team business plans start from £9 a month. Only for UK sole traders or limited company directors. Ts&Cs apply. Join the 'Say Yes Club' and hear more about our events here - https://events.beginagainshow.com/  Sync ID is: MB01TIUBXXBQEFZ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Calculating route to avoid seeing poverty. Turn left to bypass the unhoused youth sleeping on the street. Then keep right to skip by the lines of people waiting for food. Steer clear of the crowded shelter turning people away, then take the next exit. Let's stop looking away and get in the way of rising poverty. Your donations help the United Way fight poverty in thousands of ways, like providing food, shelter, and crisis prevention. Donate today at United WayGT.org.

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Learn more at aboutamazon.ca. I don't mean to alarm you, but it's almost 2 o'clock and she's still not here. Where is she? He's going to be here any minute. What is that? It sounds like a motorbike. Looks like I made it in time. Right, I'm off to interview Syking. So, Cy King, Harry Biker, he's coming here.

We don't know how. Is this him? Is this him? Yeah! My deepest curtsy I can do. I'm pretty curtsy for God's say, woman. That's him. You're already showing off.

Hey, bye. How you're done? Let go now. It's embarrassing. I can't. I can't. King. What?

I'm so happy and excited to have you here. Thank you. And first off, I just want to be. to say congratulations for this. Thank you, DeVille. This is my kind of recipe book because it is very homely. It's the kind of thing you want to eat

at the end of every day. It's healthy. It's practical. It's not too difficult. You can end up actually being able to cook things that you thought maybe you couldn't. When you look at the page here, there's not just a weight.

tome of information that is overwhelming. This is a cookbook for everyone. It is. It is very much. And it was inspired by your upbringing, right? Very much so. Well, it was more a bit of a, a bit of a love letter to the culture and knowledge that was passed down to me from my mom and my grandma and, you know, my brothers and the sisters and friends. And that you're passing down to your kids.

And that, yeah. And it was that really, and it was a bit of a celebration about the culture of food that I had in my family and the things that there's some great recipes in that. There's a chapter called the dishes that shaped me out. Yeah. And which is part of the reason I'm still this shape, because that my mom was born in 1920, and she was one of those women of her generation that was largely unfulfilled. because there was lots of women of that generation that were the same. And the way that my mom expressed her creativity

and expressed her love and emotional sophistication was through words, but also through the food that she cooked for the family. And it was a, it's a bit of a homage to my mom and my dad and, and that's what the book's about, really.

It's about, I had at the very front of my mind my two wonderful grandchildren, George and Ada, and their family unit, my eldest son and his wife, Lauren. And I just observed how ridiculously busy life was because they live in the south of England where, you know, the pace is quicker. It just is. And I was struck that they'd made a very clear decision that they didn't want to feed their kids U.U.P.U.P. Older processed foods. Yeah. But that takes time and it takes effort.

So I thought, well, okay, maybe with the food that we've been brought up with all of us through the generations and 42 years of me standing in kitchens and chopping stuff, maybe I can put all of that knowledge and shortcuts and hints and tips together to actually help scratch cooking for a busy family that comes in at half past five at night. The kids are starving. So all of the recipes, other than a few, You can elevate for the adult palate or just keep it simple for the kids. But you all eat the same. I mean, I'm getting a little bit deep now, but that's fundamentally what this book is about. It's about that social cohesion and glue. And I've kept all of the ingredients lists really short because I know what it's like.

You look at it in ingredients, it's thinking, go, oh, sod that fruit, restaurant. Just can't be asked. Yeah. And I want people to use the book. and it's affordable. I mean, I think one of the reasons why I loved food, I'm half French. And when I used to go to France,

it was a sit-down affair for breakfast, lunch and dinner. And actually, it was quite a strict environment. My grandparents were quite strict, but we were there to taste and talk. And it was a brilliantly social thing. And I think about lots of families now, I think one of the things that we all miss is that community feeling of coming together around a table.

Like you said, it doesn't really matter what you eat. We see it together. As long as you're together, you know. That sort of formality, like I remember my dad died when I was here, but I remember him because he was in the Royal Navy for a lot of his life. And wherever you didn't want to be in the Second World War, floating about in a ship, my dad seemed to be. Yeah.

And there was a discipline to that when he came to the table because that's how he'd lived. And he used to say, if I went to put the salt on anything that ma'am had cooked before tasting it, I'd get a clip round the lug. And he'd go,

where do you think you are? The naffy? And I was like, I've got a bit of a clue what he was doing about. I was like, well, no, Dad, no. And he said,

you bring the food to the salt. He said, so put the salt on the edge of your plate. And at this day, just as a matter of rebellion, and I ignore them. But I mean, I do, when I'm out for proper posh, I'll go, I'll say the plate and go, there you're your old bugger.

So, you know, but I think it creates an environment of respect. Yeah. For the food that's on the table, for the preparation of that food, and it is convivial in its celebration, isn't it? That's what it is. And that must have helped you. It does help you.

that level of socialisation is important and there's so many kids that can't be or don't know how to behave at table. You were talking about sitting down at the table with you and your parents and your dad dying when you were eight. That's actually so young, really, isn't it, to lose a father? What are your recollections of life after that?

Was it kind of... Could you grieve your dad really? or did you stay strong for your mum and... To be honest, I think it's taken me quite a long time to rationalise it. Yeah. Because it does because, you know, at eight, you're just presented with the circumstances and you're just getting on with it.

And as the Jesuits used to say, give me the boy or the woman from North of Seven, and I'll give you the man or the woman. I didn't know that. So basically you are formed in those years. So when your dad was around, Yeah. For the formative time of your life.

Yeah. And I mean, look, I think it's, to some extent, it's true. I think the foundations of your character and personality are formed then. And I, in retrospect, I certainly think a portion of, a large portion of mine was. After my dad died, there was a mom and I, and we grieved around the stove. So, because, you know, as I said, mom's way of showing comfort and affection and safety and boundaries and security and all of that and routine was, you know, was to cook

and then I'd cook with ma'am. But the only problem was for each year, I was the same in stone. So at eight, I was eight stone, at nine, I was nine stone, at ten. And I was thinking, this is getting bloody ridiculous. You know, I mean, I'm just about to go to big school and that's not a great place to be moving up.

into that place. So I think in answer to your question, I think that I took a major amount of responsibility on. Yeah. The man of the house. Yeah. And I think, well, I don't think I know that that has, that has colored and formed my character

and application to the world I live in and my family and community, because I'm a terrible one for fixing stuff. I want to fix stuff. I don't want anybody I know and love to be in distress or to be worried about anything to be. So, and I'm really hard on myself as well. I was just going to say,

I was just going to say you're a bit hard on yourself there because when you say I'm a terrible one for fixing things, I don't want people to be in distress. I'm thinking, oh my God, that's such a beautiful thing. You know, that you want to, if someone's having a difficult time, You want to help them.

And I know it might feel like it comes from somewhere sad, but it's a beautiful thing in you. Is it born out of sadness? Yes, it was born. Well, I guess it was. I don't know. And only you never track the development of your character or personality, do you? Because it's impacted by so many things, mostly in my case, by experience.

and but then again you can say that about anybody and everybody so yeah I think I think it was the level of responsibility that I took on when I was younger that definitely was a major a major player in the development of my personality and character

yeah definitely how did you come to biking oh god well my dad was a after he my dad was I was I had the great privilege of being I was there to accept them on behalf of my brother and my sister and my mom who would unfortunately died by then.

But my father was a dispatch writer in the Second World War because he was injured and his recovery was tough old times then. He was on the octaic convoy. So there was this top brass commodore came down and said the Ministry of Defense would like to offer you this as a posthumously for your dad. service in the Arctic Kulhoys, which is how, because he was from Lambeth, my dad, which is how he came up to the northeastern felon up with my man. And during his time, he slipped and fell down a shaft and damaged his kidneys, which was

actually dad was one of the first kidney transplant patients in the country. That's crazy, right? Wow, it was mad. Absolutely. It was mad. I remember reading a book while my dad was in the bed. So we'd got in bed in hospital, having had the heart. operation. And my dad, we were all lining up to say goodbye because he hadn't made it because

the anti-rejection drugs weren't as sophisticated as they are now. And I remember my sister saying, look, I want you to be very brave when you go in because you're going to have to say goodbye to dad. I was thinking, well, where's he going? He's in bed. You know, and it was that sort of rationale. So anyway, when my dad was really poorly, I used to go down to me anti-Hilda and Uncle George's that lived on this crossroads. And just up from the cottage, there was this big industrial estate, called the Team Valley Industrial Estate and Gated. And all the lads after the shift had come along these crossroads and they all had motorbikes

because working class men and families, that's what they had then. And they'd crash them. So my auntie Hilda would always have, she used to call it the Blood and Bandages Day. Oh, God! So she had, I remember very vividly ripping up white sheets. And for bandages, for makeshift bandages.

Wow. So the not unaffect of that is there was always some dodgy motorcycle with bits missing in my Uncle George's outside toilet. So I used to come down and stay because my dad was on kidney dialysis. My uncle George would go, go on, son, have a go. And I'd be like, does it run? He goes, way I. Because he'd tinker with them, you see?

So when I'd come down, so I used to have ridden motorcycles through fences. Wow. I've ridden motorcycles in a circle because they were so damaged they could only go round in circles so I've got the bug really, really early on and I mean I literally I was about six but what a brilliant skill

to work on engines or bikes it's I mean you can then transfer that to so many other things in terms of just being that way inclined yeah you can and I mean I've got to say the old of Vina Ask me to join two bits of wood. Useless.

Give me an internal combustion engine and you might get a result. Do you know what I mean? Well, that's useful. Yeah, it is useful. It is. You know, I loved it because it, I spent a lot of time when I was younger

in my own head and still do. And it was great to get out of my head because I was doing something in front of me and, you know, fixing bits and being analytical and going, okay, well, that fit doesn't do that. It's meditative. It is.

Meditative. To that thing. It's that. It's that. Whatever that was, that is it. But it helps to switch off in some ways. So how old were you when you did that? From the age of six, my uncle George gave me a spanner.

And when did you get your first bike? I got my first, well, my own, very own first bike at 14. and it was a Honda C.B. 500 TE And the TE had electric start. It's amazing, isn't it? You can remember. It is, but you do, do it? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I sprayed it red and, oh, it was great. And then I had an excess 650 US custom. I mean, it literally shook your kidneys out, everything. You got on it. But I loved it, and I wrote that illegally for years. I mean, yes. Because, well, Mom and I didn't have any money, so, you know, my mom worked at a place.

called purse care on on Berkeley Main Street that was like the pre-runder to be an M-bargans. It was one of those great little shops where it sells everything. And I used to go and pick my mom up on pension day which was Tuesdays

and it was the widow's pension on a Thursday which wasn't worth having but she picked it up out of principle because it was £1.89 a month. Wow, God. It's mad, isn't it? And yeah, my mom used to hitch her skirt up and she used to get on the back of the bike

and I had no tax, no insurance, no MOT and only one helmet. Wow. So my mom used to wear the helmet and I used to go up through the estate and across the all-weather pitch of the local comprehensive school called Lord Lawson. There's something unbelievably free about being on a bike. Like you just feel it's feeling the wind in your hair and this thing of your mobile. You can kind of get through anything.

You can go. Anyway, when I got clean from drinking drugs, I wanted to do something to give me a hit, like of adrenaline or anything. Like I got tattoos, I got like, and I learned how to ride a bike and pass my test. Did you? Yeah.

But I didn't know that about you, Vina. My best friend, her husband, had a bike accident the week I passed. Right. And he showed me a picture of his ankle before it got fixed and I never got on a bike again. Oh, no, no, no. Yeah, and I loved, it gave me such a feeling. It's an extension of that.

The great thing about motorcycles is that it's not starting from point A and getting to point B. It's the bit in the middle. And that's the thing. And it's an extension of me fiddling with bikes because I just empty my brain. And when I'm on it, I'm thinking because I know through a bit of experience that it really hurts when you fall off.

So, and I've fallen off plenty. You reach a kind of zen like, it's you, it's the bike. It's the, if you're that type of person and character, it's so good for your mental health. And it just enables me to, to empty my head because my head's constantly on the go, constantly on the go.

So as soon as I put my helmet on and I'm gone, then there is a quiet and a piece that... It's healing. You know, I never really looked at it like that, but yeah, yeah. And I've got to get you back on a motorcycle.

Monzo sponsoring begin again to help us win back some time so we can do more of what we love. I wanted to know what that thing was. for you. So let's have a look and see who we've got. Yvonne says she spent the last 20 years ticking things off her bucket list and it's had such a positive impact on her life. What's next Yvonne? I am 45 and I really feel like when she's at a point now in my life where I'd love to just go off and do something that's just for me. I love the thoughts of doing or learning about breath

work, maybe some chanting or Tai Chi and really just learning about meditation in general. My God, Yvonne and I are like, we need to meet. I mean, you are so talking my language. I love this, Yvonne. Go do the retreat. It would be absolutely amazing and I love meditating. It is so life-changing. It doesn't even matter if it works out or it doesn't work out. You had a go and the feeling of having a go at something, you're going to feel really proud about yourself and you're going to want to try something else. So let's do this. Let's say yes more. In fact, I'm going to make it happen right now. I'm calling it the say yes club. We're going to take one thing we've always wanted to do and we are actually going to do it. So I'm going to put a link in the description for you

to come and join us because that's exactly the thing that Monzo is here to help with. They put our money to work in the background, sorted, saved, sent where it needs to go. So our energy is free to say yes to more things in life. Monzo current accounts are for UK residents, age 16 plus T's and Cesar. leading route to avoid seeing poverty. Turn left to bypass the unhoused youth sleeping on the street. Then keep right to skip by the lines of people waiting for food. Steer clear of the crowded shelter turning people away, then take the next exit.

Let's stop looking away and get in the way of rising poverty. Your donations help the United Way fight poverty in thousands of ways, like providing food, shelter, and crisis prevention. Donate today at United WayGT.org. Every arrival is a statement, and nothing says it better than this. Cadillac Optic was the number one selling luxury EV in Canada for 2025. Find your rhythm across a seamless 33-inch display and an immersive 19-speaker AKG surround audio system. This city demands agility, and optic delivers with precision to make every drive extraordinary.

Let's take the Cadillac. Find out more at Cadillac canada.ca. Luxury sales claim based on S&P Global Mobility Canadian New Vehicle Total Registrations for calendar year 2025 for the Cadillac definition of luxury. So when you started out in work, like what were your first steps? Because it wasn't, it was sort of in production and TV, but it wasn't presenting. And it was actually quite a long time really before you got to that. So how did you start? I started on a student film at North East Media Training Centre.

My then-wife, Janie, we got pregnant with Alex. And I had absolutely zero prospects, no. of, I was a gig and musician, and a friend of my sisters at the time, um, ran me up and said, listen, I'm at Northeast Media train center. Do you want to come and drive the money bus, you know, and we'll give you a, we'll give you a hundred, hundred and fifty quid for the week. And I thought, flip, and Nora, great what? Not yet.

So off I went. And then while I was there, I saw this advertisement on the, and I was a bit of a, you know, I was living on me, Witt and Gail, put it that way. And I saw this advertisement on the notice board in the corridor at NEMTC and thought, oh, hold on. And it said new BBC children's drama looking for runners. So I nicked the post thing, stashed it so nobody can get it. And I've done quite a lot of work with kids from what their Tories called a grade A and B priority areas. So all of the areas that their economic policy and neoliberalism had decimated,

i.e. heavy industry and import and coal and blah, blah, blah, left huge swaths of generations going, what the hell do we do now? So I work with them in what was called Bell's Court Studios. So that put me in good stead. So I went for the interview and it was for the pilot of Baita Grove. Oh my God, was it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And Matthew Robinson gave me my break, who was the then, who was the then producer and except producer. and it was out of a production company called Zenith North and the United States. Yeah, yeah.

Oh my God, that is so funny. So I was Anton Dex runner and then I went on to first assistant director. So I was, that's what I did. Biker Grove. Biker Grove. It was so brilliant. It was a really. It was so brilliant.

It was great. And it was a touchstone for a generation. Yeah, it really was. and aunt and that were just, you know, they were, well, still all. They still are. They're lovely lads like that. Do you have seen them?

I don't, I think it's really interesting when I do see them, because I don't think we know what to do with each other. You know, it's like, hold on, Kingy, what, what happened there? You know, and you're up, well, I'd ask you, you, you've done all right. You know, it's like, it's a bit out of context with each other. And because we never get to spend the time

and have a crack on and a catch up. Well, they're down south. kind of thing, but I have the fondest memories of them both. They're good people, good people and brought up really well. They're really great, aren't they? They're a good bunch. So you're grounding, like, in the TV business, and not only that you actually did, I mean, a grafter clearly, you know, you managed to make it from runner to AD, which is like a big leap, you know, people saw you.

Yeah, they did, and I'm forever grateful for that really. because, and it was Matthew Robinson, who I don't know, Matthew, I think he lives in Thailand now or somewhere, but after I did this, the shows for, like, the pilots, he said to me, well, what do you want to do? And I remember pointing at a guy called Paul Paxton,

and Paul was the floor manager, the FM, and I said, oh, I want to do his job. I'm thinking, and I was a runner, you know, I have no idea of what, I kind of had a rough idea, because I'm quick learner. and he said, yeah, all right, then. I went, shit.

That's because he saw something and knew. Well, yeah, I mean, I... He knew. I was able to talk to the kids and have a crack, you know, and talk to them like there were human beings, as opposed to just... And I think floor managing more than anything else is a people job.

Hugely, hugely, very, very important. And I remember thinking, well, it's really sink or swim time. It's, this is it. you know, I've got, and you know, I had, Alex had just been born, so I had a, it was, the pressure was on. So I wanted, I wanted to make it work because I found, I kind of found my groove a little bit, you know. And then I continued, and then I just take whatever job came up in the northeast. How did you meet Dave? We met at a pub called the Egypt Cottage.

Dave came to a Catherine Cookson. I was already established as crew and I was the second EAD at that point. And David had come up for an interview for cheap makeup of artist and hairdresser and prosthetics as he's very talented at that as well and I was thinking a bloke doing me what's going on?

You know, because it was pretty traditional then, you know. And this dude walked in that looked like an upside-down hell's angel and I thought, this is going to be great. This is going to be big beard, bald-ed, looking kind of miserable and mean. And I was like, get in. And because I was the second at that point

And we worked really closely with costume and makeup And all that And I said, oh, all right man, how did it go? And he was like, oh, I think I've got the job And I went I said, all fancy you drink then Because at then time, it was the afternoon You know, once you've done the work

Yeah, yeah, yeah, done I said, right, okay, listen, right, what's the crack here with a course sheet, right? How long for a woman with wig? How long for principal? How long for da-da-da-da-da-do? And we worked that out in about literally 25 minutes.

And he said, oh, he said, I'm starving, King, I said, oh, hold on, I'll go and ask Julian, who was the manager at the time. I said, do you what, you got on? And he goes, oh, we've got a curry. And if you buy a curry, you get two pints, a curry and a popper dom for eight quid. I was like, right,

there was two popper doms and everything else, you know, because it was that time, we're eating salads and stuff. And me and Dave were played pooling, and he ate a curry and a popadom. And Dave goes, oh, I'll have what, King, he's having. So that was it. And that was a firm friendship solidified over food, motorcycles, travel.

I talk about meeting my best friend when I was 19, like falling in love. Yeah. You know when you go, oh, God. Yeah. Yeah. It was that. It was that. It's really interesting.

You should say that, Davina, because I never really thought about it like that before. But it definitely was that. I think as we got to know each other a little bit, more. There was a working class to northern working class overweight lads who there was a connection there but there was also a connection with motorcycles and things. So you had the headlines

of your relationship and then you had another scene which was exactly that because you're both working in the industry. That at that time was mental everybody was working 90 hour weeks. It was nuts. People were sleeping under desks no one went home like it was the hours were mental there was always somebody that would come in earlier than you

so you had to come in earlier than they would so you wouldn't lose your job. Yeah, it was all of that. It was that weird kind of structure of management where everybody would keep an eye on week. Dave and I just were like, you're all mental. And we just did our own thing, you know. But then Dave became part of my family unit

because he had recently been divorced. He was up in Huntley without a partner. And, you know, he, my boys to this day, still say, you know, my Uncle Dave, you know, that's how it, that's just how it was. So then there was a, albeit there were very, very different people with, with our, with very different insecurities and, and, and, and, I hate that word triggers, but, you know, things that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that's

really helpful. You can support him with his, he can support you with yours. Yeah. It's a nice, you know, somebody's, you know, somebody's, you know, that's, that's, you know, got the same triggers as you. It's a disaster. You wouldn't do anything. No, you wouldn't do it. No, you wouldn't. You can imagine.

Go anywhere. No, just sit in here. Let's have another cup of tea. But suddenly you had this idea about you and Dave. Because it was your idea, wasn't it? Yeah, it started off with, well, I can't take all of the credit for that. There was a lovely woman called, now called Lisa Laws, was then called Lisa Jones, who got a first from Durham University in English.

Wow. And Lisa was on the Catherine Cooke's and dramas with me. And we remain great friends. And Lisa, I said, Lisa, listen, I've got this idea. I said, you know what I'm like with pen to paper? There's a block. There's a block.

And it was that typical work and class block between pen and paper. When you get over it, it's amazing. But at that time, I just didn't. I knew what I wanted to say. So it was an idea, but you didn't know how to put it on paper. Exactly. Yeah. So Lisa helped me with that

and then we sent it off to Dave who was working in Canada and it was just when emails had started so you never really knew what you were doing but you just hoped it got there and it got there and Dave came back and said oh I like this idea

and I've showed it around the crew well he was on a it was on a Christopher Lambert film and he said none of them think it's shit wait wait which one I don't know I can't remember honestly I'm sorry I can't remember no but that's mega

Like how interesting. Oh yeah, Dave was. You know, Dave, Dave. That's so good. And he was Christoph Lembert's personal megal box. Wow. It was pretty. Because obviously I'm half French like.

Yeah, well, he's, you know. Big news, you know. Well, yeah, and it may as one of my favorite films is Subway with Isabelle O'Jonnie. I mean, that's so stylized. It's fabulous. And then Dave and I started to develop it together because we, you know, we just kind of got it.

And this is the birth of the Harry Blackburn. This is the birth of the bankers. And what I quite like is the fact that it was just called Harry Bikers sort of as a nickname. Yeah, it was. It was one, it was either, it was either Fick Graham Giantti, who was a very famous documentary producer and director or John Stroud, who was also very famous, you know, won the comedy rows of Montreux. And, I mean, really top, top draw. and I think they'd just written it on the top of a subject manner and I've written hairy bite, isn't I thought?

What, that seems all right, right? Bit rude? Are we? I suppose we are, aren't you? Fair enough. And that was it, really. And the kind of name just stood. What I love is it does what it says on the tin.

Well, it kind of, yeah, it does, doesn't it, I suppose? When did it become something that you like? Was there a moment where you went, actually? Yeah, I mean. Because it sticks so easily. It does. And you know, I think it was one of those titles that you had to deliver on it, you know.

It was just, and that's what we, and I just, you know, I took it as an excuse to be as creased as I liked, you know, so I was like, oh, great, no, grow me, right. And I had long hair anyway, so, yeah, that was a lovely moment. It just, it just stuck to Vina, it was the way it was, you know, so we just. And how did you bond over food?

How did that happen? Well, we had a new year. So I used to go, after we'd found, I used to ride, a knack at our old Evo motorcycle Harley Davidson motorcycle up

the Dave's in Huntley which is about 50 miles north of Aberdeen which is where Dave lived at the time and we had a new year together so I took

the whole family up and Dave had mates coming from all over the place and film directors and producers that he knew and all that so we all went up

and I just started we had a big new years party and I just started to do stuff in the kitchen he goes what are you doing? I said, oh, I just thought I cook in the well I just he says no no

I'll cool I said oh well do you want it should we do it together? Should we out should we? Because can I just say that was it? That's quite difficult I think sometimes if you love cooking a lot of people are quite terrible

do you know what I mean there have been territorial so the idea that you two could come together and cook in harmony in a high stress situation and like New Year's Eve is impressive. Well, we never really thought about it

like that. He goes, yeah, all right, and King. I mean, he was slightly territorial because he was like, what, bloody hell you're doing in my kitchen? And I was like, well, I just thought I'll get your hand, like. Then he was like, yeah, all right.

Sorry. You know, it was like 15 people to feed, you know. And he was like, yeah, good idea, good idea. So anyway, we just cracked on. I remember we had a whole line of Gloucester Road spot that we covered in, in, I was really good, like, I still remember. this day. We served that with some

with some jasmine rice and yeah, that was our first, that was our first dinner together. That was our first. It was so nice. Did anybody there that night go, oh, you two are brilliant in the kitchen? Yeah, they were all going and bloody hell, that's a miracle. You know, because we're quite big personalities

and we, yeah, it was nice. Yeah, it was a good, it was good crack that. It was a good night. It was a good night. I think I'm still recovering from the hangover. It was nearly 40 years ago. What I love is he did do a treatment and you did make a treatment and you sent it and you sent it to was it six people yeah and all of them said all of them said apart from john and vic cram all of them said uh it needs to be celebrity led and we went no we're not doing that that's also brave because sometimes

people think oh well if this is a job in telly i'll just say yes but it's very good that you stood your ground we did and i mean it took standing the ground directly equates to three years scratching your head and going oh shit you know because we could have flogged the idea

and you know we could have taken the back end and just happy to but we wanted but it wouldn't have had the success I don't think it had with you guys well that's very kind of you at the say to you none thank you

no I don't think it would and also my motivation for writing it in the first place was I was terrified that because it had my nose to the grindstone I had two kids. I didn't know what to say to much.

My sons about the world that I live in. So I wanted to travel and I wanted to bring back stories and I wanted to bring back different, you know, touches and tastes of different cultures. And it's just the way. I love that. Oh, it was really important to me because I was terrified, you know. I was a working class lad living on his wit and guile thinking,

shit, what am I going to do? I've got a family. and what am I going to say to them? What stories am I going to tell? What am I going to do? And that was a massive motivator for me. Massive, massive. If you've been thinking about starting your own business, then this is your sign to get started right now, today. And our sponsors Monzo have made one of the first steps surprisingly easy. There is something about opening the business bank account that suddenly makes the whole thing feel real, right? This is actually my business account card.

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Donate today at United WayGT.org. In communities across Canada, hourly Amazon employees earn an average of over $26 an hour. Employees also have the opportunity to grow their skills, and their paycheck by enrolling in free skills training programs for in-demand fields, like software development and information technology. Learn more at aboutamazon.ca. But what happened?

Because there was obviously a time in your life where you were like, oh my God, I don't know what to do next. There are bills to pay. Life is hard and I've got to quickly pivot. This is an amazing begin again moment, I think, in your story. to make a living. Well, I was presented with an opportunity with proper, which was the little restaurant that I've got up in Sunderland,

that I thought, I was terrified because I'd not been in a place long enough to actually concentrate on one thing because Dave and I were on the road constantly. You know, we travel five times around the world. We were up and down the country for the BBC. and so I took the opportunity and Dave was

you know Dave was coming to the end of his illness and very poorly and it's become a very very special place the restaurant has been embraced by the Sunland particularly the Sunland and Northeast community I as you probably may or may not know

I'm a committed socialist so I run my business like that everybody gets paid 10% above the living wage. We all have profit share. We all have bonuses. And, you know, all of the team, we now, I think Rory and I,

Tom and Joe, we've now got 13 people working for us. And it's a great, tight team. And they're absolutely brilliant. They are brilliant. But as is the community that has accepted us because we want to be consterno.

I call it the Emporium of the Emporium of Nostalgia through food. So there's wonderful moments where people come and sit and eat mints and dumplings for instance. And they go, e, I've not had this for years. Yeah. You know, and it's just... It is very nostalgic food.

It is. It can make you cry, I think, sometimes. Something that's brought back a memory of... Oh, you know, what was wonderful. And I was telling my mates before, there was a wonderful... And it's happened consecutively over the time that we've been open, that sons and daughters bring their mom and dad down.

And with either Alzheimer's or dementia and stuff. And, you know, when you picture proper, it's kind of three, I've got three, three horse stalls, okay, that are next to each other. Yeah. And if you think of a peaty blinders set, that's what sheepfolds is like. So we've got big, we've got big braziers. with fire going and the smoke and stuff and then you sit outside

and you eat your mince and dumplings or your pie or your school dinner cake or, you know, are those full of nostalgia? And there's a couple of occasions where literally the front of house and the kitchen and the pot wash were all been in tears because somebody's had something to eat

and the lights have gone on just momentarily and it's so emotional when you see that that you know because we work really bloody hard at what we do. All of the ingredients come from a 60-mile radius of the community in which we serve. And those moments are so special.

Yeah. And it creates an atmosphere and energy that is, it's really special to be in receipt of and very special to have the characters and personalities around the business that care as much as I do. And it's so humbling. I mean, it's amazing because actually I think in your life you have had many moments where you've had to kind of restart. And obviously I want to come back to life after Dave because a bit like with my sister, there was like BC is before Caroline and AC is after Caroline.

Yeah. Like it's two separate chapters of my life. Do you talk to Dave? On occasion. Yeah, I talk to Caroline. Yeah, on occasion. Oh, you'd love this. Yeah.

You know what I mean? Like, well, I often see, you know, if I get a break with something or I'm kind of, I'll go, oh, thanks, mate. You know, I'll go out. Yeah, I got it. I, thank you. And I still, I believe that. Yeah. Oh, I believe that.

I do too. And I think, I think it's interesting about grief as well, isn't it? Because it's as nuanced and as individual as the people that. or feeling it. Exactly. And everyone's different. Everybody's different, yeah. You're in early stages still, really.

I'm still pretty angry about and buggering off really. And I think that's... Anger's normal as well. Yeah, it is. There's tenets of it, isn't it? But I'm not really an angry person and I just... Yeah, I struggle with that about myself and about that bit of the character. Look, I had two years of...

My journey with Dave's illness was very different to what everybody else sees. because it was highly personal and it was highly and it was very private. Yes. And also obviously, you know, Caroline's my sister and I lived with her, but he's got a wife. And he knows. I get that. Yeah. And I think, you know, to be fair to us, all that we're around that, we all navigated it in very different ways, but the best we could.

Yeah. I think one in two of us is going to get cancer. I know that from doing stand up to cancer. But I think when you get it, you always think I'm not that person. I always was like, I'm not cancer person, but I was. Yeah. What was that experience like when he told you and how was he? I think quite rightly there was a level of disbelief.

And I remember where I was. I was on the year one. And he went, are you on your own? And I said, yeah, yeah. And he said, I've got cancer. And he was such a bugger because his first thought was you know

well in between Kibo I'll probably be able to film or do something and I was thinking what are you thinking about work for you a lunatic? And I was going to like well well you know we'll see you know it's fine we'll work it out man we'll work it out and we'll work it out

and there was just this surreal moment of like what do you see and what you think you share and you know and if you don't know what to say I don't know what to say. Yeah, but say something. Yeah.

Yeah, but I don't know what to say is as good as anything else. I'll say something. Yeah. You know, it is. And inevitably, I went into asking lots of questions that probably Dave hadn't had the time to answer because, you know, he told me straight away. And I think the two of us were just a bit, as was Lil and Dave's stepchildren, and we were all like,

okay and then it became very clear quite quickly that the family wanted and Dave they were they were up for the scrap they were up for the fight and my role as Dave's friend was to support that endeavor it didn't matter what I thought or what the route that I personally would have taken, it was about supporting them in the best way that I could. I was sure he was really grateful for that. I think, you know, he was very poorly, Davina, and certainly near the end, it was, there's an old, there's an old Arabic saying,

and I'll forgive me if I get this wrong, but it basically is, it basically boils down to, To know life, one has to know death. Yes. Because it is the circle of all. Yeah. And it is that. You know, it is that.

And the middle bit is up to you. It's such an honour to be at someone's birth, and it's an honour to be at someone's death. And it is like a certainty in our life. Is that we are going to die? Yes, we know. Can't avoid it. Can't sidestep it.

We're all going to do it. It's all going to do it. It's all going to happen, you know, and it's about it, you know, it's about how you approach that. Yeah. And it is, the approaches are as varied as the individuals facing it. And continuing on without him, like what was that like? What is that like? It's different, very different, because we were part of, we were part of a double act.

And we always took each other into consideration. However, however that manifested itself, it was all given the circumstances, it was always, we always did that for each other. It's just different, Davina. Can I ask you about a time, when I read about it, I thought, wow, that would have been quite major about your brain aneurysm?

Yeah. How old were you when that happened? It was 2014. I look back at that man and I don't recognize them. It was a world, it was full of contrast. I was loved, but I caused quite a lot of pain and anguish. And after the brain hemorrhage, it took me a good, I'd say three or four years to kind of go, who in God's name was that

and you know I... And do you mean after the operation? No, I think before the operation was, you know, Jane and I Jane and I, my then wife was, you know, we, and we got divorced in the end

and, you know, nobody wants to bring that you know, to your kids or your family and that kind of anxiety and frustration and undermining all of those you know all of those tenants of life that you set out

to bring and security as well it had a profound effect on my family and thank goodness you know Jane and I are great mates and I adore her she's fabulous woman

how did you do it in an amicable way what was at the forefront of your mind to keep you and Jane mates through the experience? It wasn't because it was so painful and I don't think it was for Jane either.

I mean, we wanted to be as amicable as we could be for our children, you know. And Jane was way more emotionally mature than I was going through that process, I think. I don't think I know. And what I would say, it just takes time. It's time. And it's, that's actually a really nice thing for people to hear.

It is. It might not be instant. It is a painful thing, but. It is, because you're inevitably. Yeah, it is, Devinia, it is possible with time. And it's important. It's important. I, you know, and it is, it is, you know, a divorce is rather like a marriage.

It's about compromise and it's about understanding where you went wrong and being adult about it and kind of going, you know, it takes two to tango. And it's never any body's fault. It's just the way it. Yeah, it just broke. And it's, you know, I continue to think about it a lot in the sense that, you know, I have been incredibly lucky in my life that I have been, I've been loved. And that love doesn't break. It becomes different.

Yeah. But I was loved at that time. of the person that I was and and you have to treat that with enormous respect. Because that, and then I've been loved after that. And, you know, love just changes. It's, it's kind of shapeless because it is, it is about the person that you are and what you're giving off and all of those nuances about the time,

that you are and the existence that you have and the life that you have at that point. So, but you can't dismiss it because it is part of the journey and knowledge that shapes you as you go through to maturity. And, you know, you have to treat it very gently and kindly and with respect. So thinking about that and your aneurysm, was your aneurism quite a turning point for you, not just in terms of like thinking about your mortality. Because I think any, I mean, having been through brain surgery myself, I mean, I've faced the idea if somebody's doing an operation on your brain, you get all the T's and Cs are pretty horrific.

And you have to face, this is one of the reasons why I did this podcast. Like, what do you need to begin again and again and again? So you can sit on your deathbed and go, I did it. Yeah, I'm all right. I did it, you know. God. So. You're a brave woman, aren't you?

Well, you're a brave man. Like, it's life is... Life makes us brave. Everybody. It does. Yeah, it does. Nobody gets through... Nobody gets through with Scott Free. Yeah, Scott Free, right?

Like, so it's so important. But was it... Well, Fast off, I want to ask you, where did they operate? How did they operate? How did they get in? What did they do? So they went in through my groin

and put an inclusion and it was it blew my mind it absolutely blew my mind and it's amazing it was amazing it was amazing it was amazing and they put this little I don't know what it is titanium or whatever

it is this little kind of wire mesh in the point where I had a vein that was and it was leaking so I had blood in my in my spinal fluid so it was pretty close and

I signed off the, that is a salient moment that. You just go right. Goodbye. And he was, I was thinking shit. And at that point, it wasn't epiphanous. It was just a moment of, is everything in order? Yes. Have I, will my boys be all right?

Will Jane be all right? Will my mates be all right? Because I left very clear instructions. So you did your will? I did. I left very clear instructions about what I wanted. And then they did the operation and I don't know whether you had this. I mean, it was a bit out of my head, like, but I had this.

I did this. I kind of woke up and I thought, shit, I'm here. Oh. Oh, well, that's good. And I remember moving my legs, thinking, oh, that's good. And then I thought, I better say something.

And this has grown on my head, ref. So I went, I'll never forget it. I went, huh, ah, I thought, shit, that works as well. This is going well, this is going well. I could feel my arms. I thought, what the hell's that me on?

I was taking out of these. Beeps and mother. is and all sorts of stuff going on. And then this lovely, lovely, lovely, lovely nurse came in and said, how are you feeling? I said, remarkably, what, I'm starving. And then two days later, Dave comes up and he goes, all right, can you?

I said, I know, I think I'm all right, man. I think I'm all right. I'm always, I'm starving. He goes, great. And he snaffled his in a load of marries. and Spencer's pork pies and some what cheesy wotsets Oh my God, can I just tell you something?

Oh, God. You and my husband would be like best friends forever. That would be like, that would be Michael's favourite meal. A pork pie and cheesy watsits. It's like it doesn't get any better than that or possibly onion monster munch maybe. Oh, yes, pickled onion monster munch. He is a dude.

Right? Yeah, 100%. Yeah. Any pie actually, but. A port-like, amazing. Man. And then I kind of, I thought, right, okay, we go again. What am I going to do now?

Yeah. Isn't that interesting? Okay, I've got a second chance at life. What am I going to do with it? And what came to your mind when you thought of that? I was, I mean, it took about 18 months for me to get, because literally I'd go home. And there was a lot of, you know, there was a lot of, there was a lot of emotion around all of it. Took me 18 months too.

Yeah. And my behaviours weren't great and around my family. And it... Can I just say something? That's okay. Because, because that's a trauma. Yeah, that's what trauma. And you know what?

It's beautiful about you. What's that? You own it. Oh, God, you have to. Well, that is, I don't mean that's sound patronising. No, not at all. I mean, it's a beautiful thing. I'm holding onto your feet here.

You want to quite like it. Just wanted to say that I. Thank you. It's a beautiful thing to hear a man go. I could have done better, but it was the best I could do at the time. I was, you know, you were in a state. Yeah, I was in a bit of estate. And understandably.

Yeah, and there was a lot going on with work. There was, you know, there was it, and it was pressured, you know. And, you know, the hemorrhage was brought on by high blood pressure and stress. That was the way it was. And trying to keep all the plate spinning. So I just, I just wanted to be better. So I took myself off because it was pretty clear about two years after, after the anniversary. that I had a breakdown nearly that would that would be there and and I and when I fell my knees

properly hit the floor yeah um was that a blessing in a way oh god it was such a blessing yeah it was the toughest it was it was it was a tough 12 months but I had to keep the plate spinning yes um but I also had to try and heal at the same time and recover so it was it was it was it was difficult that that it was very difficult that and there was well some where you thought you would have it that wasn't there and then there was support where you did have it that was wasn't there wasn't there

and it was a very odd time and then weird support from places you would never expect and support from where you would expect to it's just it it was a different new world I don't know if you had this but I had this where people came out of the woodwork and you were like oh wow you are that person like thank you

Thank you. It is that sense of giving a shit. Yes. It's really important. Yes. That people that you know and love give a shit. And I was in, from my family, I was in receipt of that. It was enormous.

It was enormous. And, you know, I have got fabulous relationship with my kids and with my ex-wife and with my friends, who I've had since some of them since I was three. I don't see as much of them as I'd like. But you love them, right? Like, and that never goes. No, it never goes. They can ask, they could ask me anything.

Yeah. I mean, like anything. Yeah. And we always pick up where we left off. It's like whether I haven't seen them for 12 months or 18 months in some cases, it's like, oh, you're all right, kid. Yeah, it doesn't matter. Yeah, it doesn't matter.

Yeah, I love those friendships. Yeah, it's really important. You've actually achieved, you know, quite a lot. Like, you've opened a restaurant. You've done the book. There's a YouTube channel. Oh, yeah. Yes, can we talk about the YouTube channel?

This is mega. Look at you, you're so groovy. I'm not entirely sure. Look at us. This is on YouTube. Well, yeah, exactly. It's a bravely world, isn't it? Down with the kids.

God, so down with the kids. I think I was very keen to get my wonderful, wonderful crew back together again. And I wasn't entirely sure how to do it because my best friend is a wonderful man called Francois Gandalfi who have been around the world with as to has Dave numerous times and he's a very talented clever man

and I adore him and we had we started to have the conversation about putting it together and just so there's we put a video up on thing about me cooking for this wonderful lady called Hannah Graham

who had her had a baby very prematurely. So we talk about that while I'm cooking her a curry. And she's the most amazing illustrator. So as we were talking, she was illustrating what was going on around it. It was lovely, you know, it's about being able to have the freedom to kind of go, I find this person fascinating and let's cook something that they love to eat. Well, it's, it's really simple, really. Yeah, but this is also what I see through all of your work. Like, you know, bringing people to together, proper like food nostalgia, remember this.

I want to bring back these feelings. Hannah, feeling safe. You know, her gifting you something that she's good at. Like, it's such a nice synergy. It is. And surely that's what life's about. Yeah. And giving people opportunity that wouldn't ordinarily,

if you're in a position whereby you're able to do that. then it is incumbent on you to do so, I think. Oh, that's how I feel anymore. And, you know, I love it. It's fantastic. And if that wasn't enough, I've started a production company up in the northeast. We have offices in the northeast in Newcastle, one in London. My roommate you didn't have one before.

Isn't that funny? Yeah, it's great. And we have offices in Lille as well in Northern France, because what I was very keen to do was there's a lovely idea that Francois and I've had about linking the north of England and the north of France because the community

and the language and the attitudes and the industry is very similar. So we're working on that and if that wasn't enough, I'm building a bloody house. I've done that. Have you? Yeah.

What a stupid idea. Oh, do you know what? I loved it. Did you love it? I loved it. I'm loving it, but I haven't got a bloody clue what I'm doing. Cy? Yes.

What is next? I mean, as if you haven't got enough on your plate. You've done the book. You've got your YouTube. More YouTube's obviously. Yeah, lots more. Lots more YouTube's because there's a sense of, there's a sense of freedom with that I love. the production company will continue to grow

and I'm very much looking forward to to that side of things because I really kind of albeit that I've been all the way through the industry all of my life whether it be music or TV or production or film I've kind of never done that bit and I feel enormously privileged that I'm able to have people around me

that I know and trust and that we have each other's best interests at heart. And that in our industry is quite rare. Yeah. So, and more time with my family and my grandchildren. Your grandchildren. Oh, my God. I cannot wait. This is my next journey.

Oh, me. This is my next journey. My oldest child is definitely with the father of her future children. Sorry, I don't mean to put the pressure on you I keep doing this to you I'm sorry about that But it's true That's true

He'll get over it, be fine Don't worry me Don't worry, it'll be fine But honestly I am so excited Oh man Is it different Do you, yes

It's it It's double the love So the love that you have For your grandk For your child Children And then

You get these It's not many times DeVina that I'm lost for words but when it comes to explaining the emotional connection and love that you have for those two beautiful little individuals

that, and the great thing is watching them grow and develop and as you go and I mean, I'm completely useless. They've got even at three and six, they've got me wrapped around their little finger. It's... As it should be. Oh my God

as it should be. Absolutely wonderful. experience. And I saw, I'm so looking forward. I'd love to do this again when you've got grad kids because you will freak out, man. Well, we'll be friends. Let's give it up for Syking. Oh my God. I love you. Oh my God. What a lovely, lovely human. Thank you for the interview and the opportunities. Thank you, darling. That's kind of you. So just in case you missed this episode here, if you love today's episode, I know you're going to love that one. That one. Calculating route to avoid seeing poverty.

Turn left to bypass the unhoused youth sleeping on the street. Then keep right to skip by the lines of people waiting for food. Steer clear of the crowded shelter turning people away. Then take the next exit. Let's stop looking away and get in the way of rising poverty. Your donations help the United Way fight poverty in thousands of ways, like providing food, shelter, and crisis prevention. Donate today at United States.

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