Behind the Bastards - CZM Rewind: Kissinger Parts 4-6

Episode Date: December 28, 2023

Henry Kissinger is dead! If you're wondering why people are so happy about this, listen to our six hour series on the life and crimes of one of the 20th century's greatest war criminals. (Ft. Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds from The Dollop)See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Hey everyone, Robert Evans here. It's the end of the year. Couple of big heavy hitter holidays coming in a row, and have them off both with the company and as a team. So since there's not a new bastard's episode this week and also since Henry Kissinger just died, we figured this would be a nice time to rerun the original six Henry Kissinger episodes. These are great, I think, are a useful introduction if you or perhaps your friends and family. Don't know why a lot of people are happy that Henry's no longer in the world. I want to thank again the dollop guys, Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds for being wonderful guests for this. I checked in with them before we did this just to see if they had

anything to plug. Dave Anthony has an album out that you can find. It's a hot head by Dave Anthony. You can go to Dave Anthony dot band camp dot com. I probably don't need his bell Dave Anthony for you. Right. That's a simple enough one. And then we've got Gareth Reynolds, who is going to be touring quote all over the place in February and March of 2024.

They have too many links to promote as one, but if you go to garrithrenalds.com, that's g-a-r-e-t-h-r-e-y-n-o-l-d-s.com, you else to say. Here are the episodes. Man. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, how we all, this is behind the dollop bastard. The dollop bastard. This is those dollop bastards. Mm-hmm.

So, I don't know, what do you guys think? Out of all of the characters, y'all have covered. Who do you think Kissinger gets along with best? Oh my god. Better. I mean, that's a tough one that judge in Texas with the bear. I mean, the judge has the with the Barry definitely gets along with. There's definitely guys like, you know, the guys who did the filibustering walker and those guys who just love to just take over other countries. Yeah. I know.

I kill many people. There's not, we've never experienced this level of casualty. No, we haven't. This is quite cute. This is, I mean, you know, like there are evil, it's the spray of your evil that is so remarkable about this. The ability to have your finger on this button with this level of darkness is, I don't know, it's a little, you know, I wouldn't say it's, you know,

we, again, I mean, we've covered evil motherfuckers, but I don't think they've been able to scatter shot in the way that, you know, Kissinger's, I mean, it's a rare talent at a rare time on a rare team. I would put, uh, John, uh, Peter, the zone Cohen who was the, um, East, the Dutch colony guy, the East India, uh, Dutch colony guy. Right. Uh, he did a lot of fucking killing. Yeah. He definitely had the same sort of attitude, very casual about. Yeah, there's been a lot of killing people. Yeah. The killing because we're white Americans.

Yeah. Or just white people just, you know, for land has been, it's a theme. And Jackson, I would put up there with you. Yeah. Jackson, he's at that level of like monstrous national leader who believes in a fucked up thing. In terms of his death, Andrew Jackson, and his white supremacy, Hitler, and his Hitler stuff, Mao and some of the weird things he believed about crop rotation or whatnot. He's at that level of death toll,

but he doesn't believe in anything. Like he's not trying to do with thing. He's not attempting right not like attempting So not a doctor society. I guess that's the I guess that's the weirdest part of him because yes This sort of death count usually comes out of ideology. Yes. That's exactly what I was trying to get out Yeah, imagine if his childhood affected him when he would yeah Imagine if that had actually impacted him in any way. Yeah.

And it, yeah, that's the, that's the, it's so fucked up that like, it's fucking crazy. Again, we keep getting back to like Walter from the big Lebowski logic, but like at least those other war criminals had an ethos. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Um, you, you could, you could negotiate or talk down or at least there would be there were war criminals had an ethos. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Um, you could negotiate or talk down or at least there would be like an angle.

At least like, oh, you are a, you are a person like not to morally compare him negatively to Hitler because I, for the record folks, Hitler's worse, you know, then basically. And yeah, but it, there's at least you can grasp onto a level of understanding with Hitler. Because it's like, well, I believe in things. And I even believe in things that like, I think it would be okay to like use violence in order to because of those things that I believe. I think there are situations that justify violence. And those are based on things that I believe about morality. And Hitler had things that he believed about morality

that he felt justified violence. And so you can grapple at least with what must have been going on in the man's head when he did some of the terrible things he did. I cannot get into the head of a man who is willing to do this to keep a gig. Right, yeah. It's for a gig.

Yeah, it's for a gig that he didn't even need. He didn't even need this job. Now, he's, he's almost as bad as Dr. Phil. Yeah, oh, I mean, yes, that's a little bit hyperbolic Dave. I don't think that's hyperbolic. Dr. Philly in levels of evil. That's why it's also just the, the dumb, the idea that 60 minutes like was like take the keys hang have the keys hang there you go yeah you know you know buddy yeah just the

run in your normalization it's like now yeah when it comes to the folks who will defend Henry Kissinger or even call him a great statesman and those folks do exist I have read some of their books when you get to those people, there are generally a couple of achievements that they will trump it. It's like, well, you have to give them, you know, these things, right? Oh, God. And they sound impressive on paper.

In 1973, he and North Vietnam's Lee Duk Thau won the Nobel Peace Prize for their work in the negotiations that became the Paris Peace Accords, right? Winning a Nobel Prize for stopping the Vietnam War, impressive sounding on paper. If you don't think about the fact that he extended the Vietnam War, right? Winning a Nobel Prize for stopping the Vietnam War, impressive sounding on paper, if you don't think about the fact that he extended the Vietnam War. Right, help too, you know.

Right, was a part of that. He didn't negotiate the first strategic arms limitation treaty and anti-balistic missile treaty with the Soviet Union. Those are good things. Yeah, but he, yeah, the whole thing is he loved, he'd be like, nooks are great. And like, congratulating Sully Sullenberger if he threw the geese into the, Yeah, it's the whole thing is he loved it would be like nooks are great. It's like a graduating

Sully Sullenberger if he threw the geese into the He had been greeting geese and that exact Big geese and he was making bang noises to scare him into the plane when he landed on the Hudson Yeah, they were like wow, what an amazing achievement. Yeah And yeah, it's one of those things like, yeah, he got, and part of like the arms reductions that he secured with the Soviet Union are less impressive than they sound.

I was just talking in the last episode about that documentary command and control. One of the points it makes is that like, these Atlas II missiles, which nearly killed half of the people on the East Coast through radioactive fallout were obsolete and not effective and recognized as not being useful. But they were kept in the arsenal, not because we needed them, but because we were going to have a treaty with the Soviets soon,

and we wanted to have something we could give up that wouldn't actually cost us anything. Oh my god. Like that, like it's that kind of shit. Like that's all of the fucking... So, he fucking got rid of spent fuel rods. Basically, yeah. Yeah, and the garbage. That kind of shit like that's all of the fucking yeah fucking got rid of spent fuel rods Yeah, and he does this he helps Regotiate reductions in nuclear arms after pushing the missile gap myth for the JNK administration right

He did help pass an international convention against biological weapons Which is cool if you don't think too much about the defoliance that he ordered spread out across Southeast Asia if you don't think too much about the defoliants that he ordered spread out across southeast Asia. Um, we need to stop people like Kendrick Kissinger. We have to stop. I must be stopped. We must stop me. It's the only way to appease me. He had a role in the Helsinki final act article 10, which committed nations on both sides

of the Cold War to quote, respect human rights and fundamental freedoms, including the freedom of thought, conscience, religion or belief, for all without distinction, effort to race, yeah. Uh-huh. He's literally the guy who's in a room and he's like, we should kill everyone. And then he walks out and comes back in another door and goes, killing is bad.

The killing must stop. It's like when OJ was like, someone must deal with me. OJ was like, I'm gonna find the real killer. Yes, yes. We gotta find this guy. He's still out there. Henry Kiss Jay was like, I'm gonna find the real killer. Yes. Yes. We got to find this guy Yeah, Henry Kissinger doesn't go to DC anymore because he might run into the man who ordered the carpet bombing of Lowe We are all trying to find the guy who did this We're not gonna leave till we find out which son of a bitch is behind this.

Now there is however one huge Titanic achievement that even the most hardened critics have to give Kissinger. He restored diplomatic relations between the United States and China. Now this is a huge deal no matter how you slice it for a brief primer. China had them a big ol' civil war between the communists who won and the nationalists, who we were called like Democrats, Republicans, whatever, like called Democratic forces. They had them a dictator, as it always is. He was a dude named Chiang Kai Shek. And yeah, Mao Wins in 1949, Chiang Kai Shek and his forces take all the gold they can carry and they

flee to Taiwan. And for the next 30 years, the United States refuses to acknowledge the legitimacy of the Chinese state and deal with it directly. And one of the most unhinged decisions in the history of US foreign policy, decades of presidents pretend Taiwan is the real China. Like Taiwan has a permanent seat on the the UN Security Council, that is China's seat. But Taiwan is, you can look on a map. Itty-bitty. It's a smaller. It's smaller. It is somewhat smaller than actual China. It's like what we're doing with Venezuela.

No, that's right. Yeah, like that guy is the president. No, it's not like, yeah. Right, right. And it's one of those things, like, you don't have to be a fan of Mao to recognize this as stupid. Like Mao was in head of a government that is basically a whole continent

and you're just pretending he's not. And that's nuts. The emperor has no land. Yeah, it's craziness. It's stupid. Yeah, and in fairness, again, because we're about to talk about, like, Kissinger had nothing to do with this, right?

Kissinger is not why we refuse to recognize the existence of the Chinese government. This is a dumb thing that when he comes into power, he and Nixon are both very astutely recognized as a dumb thing, and they don't want this to continue. And it is hard to overstate how dangerous this state of affairs is. For one reason, after Stalin dies in 1953, relations between the USSR and Mao's China steadily decline. In 1964, the year China conducts their first successful nuclear tests, diplomatic relations break down between both communist nations.

So now you have three massive empires, all of whom are armed with nukes, none of whom are directly talking to each other. Oh, great. Oh, like, this is a bad situation. And Kissinger does recognize how dangerous the status quo is. Now, in 1969, China and the Soviet Union have a series of border skirmishes. Their soldiers are shooting at each other.

Moscow threatens to start dropping nukes. And for a time, the Chinese government conducts its affairs from underground bunkers. So again, very reasonable that Nixon and Kissinger are like, well, we should probably have some way to fucking call these people on the goddamn phone, right? Like this is bad. Let's just get a phone.

Let's get a fucking phone. You would think it would be that simple, Dave, but we're gonna talk for about an hour and 10 minutes about how it's not. So by the time 1971 comes around, Nixon and Kissinger were also both looking for a major diplomatic coup that could distract from the fact that they hadn't quite managed in that whole Vietnam War thing and had in fact made it all very much worse. There's also some rational self-interest in here, you know, whatever else you can say

about them. I don't think either of these men want to die and they recognize like, well, this could cause a nuclear war that ends all life on Earth, including us. We should probably deal with this. Yeah. They finally realized that life has purpose once it's there. Yeah. It's also one of those.

This is getting a little off topic, but like people talk about, you will see at least on the right people say, well, you know, if the nationalists had won the Chinese Civil War a lot less, people would have died. And it's like, well, the specific things mounted that killed a lot of people wouldn't have been done. But if Chen Kai-shek is in charge of China, and like while China is communist, they almost get in a nuclear fight with the USSR. Do you think that like right wing Chen Kai-shek led China is less likely to have a nuclear fight with the Soviet Union? What is your hard-knosed version, baby? Yeah, what is it like if they're not on the same ideological side? Yeah, people will talk a lot about the fact that the USSR

and God, we just tried to nearly, nearly nuke each other, just like the USSR. And also, and also malkilled landlords, so are those people? Well, fair, yeah, some of them were landlords. It's not the landlords we're complaining about. It's the, you know, yeah. Some of them were landlords. It's not the landlords we're complaining about. It's the people who didn't have grain. But that's a story for a completely different set of days.

At this point in time, you've got two countries, three countries that should all be talking on the basis that they all individually have the ability to end all life on earth. And they're not. And Kissinger is like, you know what, I can get in here. I can make this work. I can make this work. And also it'll help us win an election.

So it just so happens that 1971 is also a time in which China is willing to sit down with the United States. Mao wants U.S. help negotiating with the Soviets, which is very strange and like the does not make a lot of... I can't talk to these guys. I can't talk to these guys. is very strange and like the, does not make a lot of, yeah. I can't talk to these guys. I can't talk to these guys.

You know, I need a someone who else can't talk to these guys. Nixon, you love Communist. Get in here. You know, it's just the, you've got like the way the Cold War is portrayed from the thousand-yard view to people like watching the propaganda of whatever state. Then you've got like now being like, Hey, Nixon, I need your help to deal with these Soviets.

I need a rational partner and Nixon being like, you know, you know, who's going to get me went to cinch me, Richard Millhouse, Nixon, the election in 72. Mousey done. It's so crazy. It is, Mao Zedong. That's so crazy. It is weird politics and it's almost like there's only three people in the world. Yes. So this is, you know, Nixon, yeah, Nixon's very much down to talk with China, but it is not that simple because since the diplomatic situation has been dumb for so very long, there there aren't like U.S. diplomats in China that we can like send a message through,

right? Like you literally don't have those ties. So the U.S. does have ways of communicating with the Chinese government. They're through back channels, though, because you can't admit publicly that you're doing it, because Taiwan is your ally, and Taiwan doesn't want to acknowledge that the Chinese government is legitimate government. Very dumb. One of the back channels is through the leader of communist Romania, Nikolai Chichescu.

And the other... Great guy. Oh, Nikolai is not the bad guy of this story. I mean, how is that? When Chichescu is here, things are not good. Not your hero, but let's call him a benign force in the specific instant. When is your straight man? Yeah. The other is through the military dictator of Pakistan,

General Adha Mohammed Ya'yah Khan. Now we should probably talk a little bit of history here. In 1947, the British gave up ruling over the Indian subcontinent, finally. As a rule, whenever colonial powers leave their former possessions, they attempted to set up states based on their pre-existing alliances and racial biases. This is why we have, for example, the entire modern map of the Middle East.

In the case of the Indian subcontinent, what had once been a colony was split into India and Pakistan. India is obviously Hindu majority in Pakistan as a Muslim majority nation. Now, if you know your English colonialists, you know they're not very good at maps. So the Brits, divvying up the subcontinent, decide that Pakistan should include two huge chunks of land separated by more than 1,000 miles of India. West Pakistan is the Pakistan we know and love today, right? Classic Pakistan. Right.

It's like the, yeah, East Pakistan is like the new Coke of Pakistan, except for now it's Bangladesh, right? But at the time, Bangladesh is each Pakistan, and there's just like a whole fuckload of India in between the two, which is, there's like a line that Pakistani people will say at the time that like East and West Pakistan are only united by religion, the English language and Pakistan Airlines.

And by far Pakistan Airlines is the strongest of the three. England once again, I mean, just really. Just really playing guys. Yeah, really. Yeah. What do you say we put a blindfold on and they tried to pin the tail on this donkey? And the fact that in the in part,

that England partitions India at all is a humanitarian crisis on an incomprehensible scale. As many as two million people died, often as the result of horrific racial or religious violence. And Henry Kessinger's hearing that like, hold on, I'm getting hard. I can do better. Yeah, that's nothing, baby.

I can beat those rookie numbers. Weak. Where do I send congratulations, Cod? 10 to 20 million are displaced, but even though East and West Pakistan are supposed to be united by faith, there's like massive ethnic divides, right? Like they're not the fact that they're all ostensibly Muslim, does not mean anything, because like they're completely different parts of the world.

We're completely different chucks of history, right? And at least the America learns this lesson. Yes, thankfully. We get this right, you know? By the time we get into Pakistan, we're done with the stupid stuff. We're faking a vaccine drive in order to steal people's blood. That's right. Has it she be the good guys? Yeah, the good guys are back.

No, I'd have fixed this. Yeah. So yeah, here's the Smithsonian magazine kind of laying out the relationship between East and West Pakistan by the time Kissinger and Nixon take office. With most of the ruling elite having immigrated westward from India, West Pakistan was chosen as the nation's political center. Between 1947 and 1970, East Pakistan had only 25% of the country's industrial investments and 30% of its imports, despite producing 59% of the country's exports. West Pakistani elites saw their

eastern countrymen as culturally and ethnically inferior, and in a attempt to make Erdogan national language less than 10% of the population of East Pakistan had a working knowledge of Erdogan, was seen as further proof that East Pakistan's interests would be ignored by the government. Making matters worse, the powerful Bolas cyclone hit East Bangladesh in November of 1970, killing 300,000 people. Despite having more resources at their disposal, West Pakistan offered a sluggish response to the disaster. As French journalist Paul Dreythus said of the situation, over the years, West Pakistan behaved like a poorly raised, egotistical guest, devouring the best dishes and leaving

nothing but scraps and leftovers for East Pakistan. It's not great. It's not great. It's not great. Pakistan's military is what's in charge, right? It's a military dictatorship. They run everything and they are hyper-focused on India, who is their primary geopolitical rival. In 1965, Pakistan attempts to invade Kashmir, sparking a vicious conflict.

I'm not giving you the whole detail of the conflict between India and Pakistan. Please don't take this as me throwing all of the blame on one side of the other. This is just like the barest cliffs notes because we have a lot to cover in this episode. And the US, it's worth noting, had been selling arms to both countries in 1960s. What? Yeah, I know. Very disappointing. America? Yeah. Strange. Come on. So our history is so different.

LBJ's administration was forced by public outcry as a result of this to issue an arms embargo on both nations. Pakistan saw the embargo as unfairly harming them, and as a result there was bad blood among the high command towards the democratic Johnson administration. By the time Kissinger and Nixon are in the White House, the president of Pakistan is again this guy, Yaya Khan. We'll just call him Yaya because it's fun to say. He took power in March of 1969 by forcing out another general and instituting martial law. Kissinger once wrote of him, Yaya is tough, direct, and with a good sense of humor, he talks in a very clipped way,

is a splendid product of Sandhurst and affects a sort of social naivete, but it's probably much more complicated than this. Now, Sandhurst is like the British Royal Military Academy. It's like broadly speaking British West Point. Yaya affected an English heir. He carried like a swagger stick. He dresses like he's a British officer. He acts like he's a British officer, right? He is also a raging alcoholic. One has a standing politician noted, he starts with cognac for breakfast and continues drinking throughout the day, night often finding him in a sodden state.

Nice. So. He's always like breakfast. He's just a... Just a drunk dude who always carries a stick for hitting horses. Ah. It's very good. I'm gonna conwack him.

I mean, Churchill drank a fuck ton too, right? Yes, absolutely. There is just something about. JFK was on meth for a decent chunk of his early presidency. Wow. So great. It's where we're like, when we point out that a guy like Yaya is drunk, it is not to contrast him with Western leaders.

You are also some kind of fucked up. Yeah, why don't you just point out the one to a drunk? I think I think what's his name? The guy who came after Nixon, but not right after Carter, probably pretty sober in the White House. Yeah, but his brother was making. His brother is making. Bill is making. Bill is like, I'll drink with Jim and no problem.

Oh, Billy. Billy Carter should have been the president. And we would have gotten some shit done. Honestly, I'm fine with that. I'm fine with that different trajectory. Let's see what had come back. Fuck it. Fuck it.

Fuck it. Let's dance. Mm-hmm. In 1970, Yaya decides to hold an election, which has meant to be more for show than that different trajectory. Let's see what had cow bad. Fuck it. Fuck it. Fuck it. Let's dance. Mm-hmm. In 1970, Yaya decides to hold an election, which has meant to be more for show than anything else, right? It's this thing you do because he's Pakistan is definitely India is a neutral country. They're not on the side of the Soviet Union or the US and the stupid Cold War thing. They're very intelligently like, what is it benefit us to pick one side like fuck that stuff? But they also, because India's got much more of a socialist,

especially early on, is much more of a socialist government. There's a lot of distrust from them in the United States, and Pakistan really leans on that to be buddy-buddy with the United States more. And one of the ways, as part of like his attempts to get closer and closer to the US, because he wants arms, like everybody, who gets buddy-buddy with the US US, Yaya decides to hold an election,

because we love seeing people have elections. We don't really care how they go, but we like seeing them, you know? Yeah, right. It's sport. It's sport, yeah. So he's allowed, he has a selection, and his plan is to like, basically rig it,

so that, you know, it doesn't mean anything, it doesn't take any power away from the military, but Yaya's not good at anything. This is an important thing to know. He's really bad at every thing he does. really rig it so that it doesn't mean anything, it doesn't take any power away from the military, but Yaya's not good at anything. This is an important thing to know. He's really bad at every thing he does. Do you think that breakfast Kanye had anything to do with his problem? I'm going to pay him.

I'm going to just question it. This election gets out of his hands immediately. East Pakistan is much larger than West Pakistan. While West Pakistan's votes are split between parties, like there's a bunch of different conflicting political parties, nearly everyone in East Pakistan gets in line behind the same party, the Awami League. They're big things they want autonomy from West Pakistan, and they're very angry at the fact

that they're getting fucked over by the West. So the West, which is doing the fucking over, has a bunch of miners shit they're cobbling over, the East is just united behind, let's doing the fucking over, has a bunch of miners shit they're cobbling over, the East is just united behind, let's stop getting fucked over. And as a result, they get a shit load of people elected in this massive block. And they come to, it's enough that they will completely

dominate a lecture like the parliament of Pakistan because of like how well this election goes for them. Yeah, yeah, does not like this. And rather than allowing the newly elected assembly to sit, he cancels their first meeting and declares martial law. Nice. Yeah, yeah, does not like this. And rather than allowing the newly elected assembly to sit, he cancels their first meeting and declares martial law. Nice. Yeah.

Right. It's follow. The leader of the O'Wami League, a guy named Shake Mujbure Rahman, I apologize for what is surely a mispronunciation, declared a civil disobedience movement. It was into this volatile situation that Henry Kissinger stepped in the spring of 1971. Oh, God. Now, he and Nixon had pretty good relations with West Pakistan's government, which is little situation that Henry Kissinger stepped in the spring of 1971. Now he and Nixon had pretty good relations with West Pakistan's government, which is at

this point, you know, just Yaya. They were loathed to trust India since it was non-aligned. Nixon also was very racist and hated the fact that India's democracy was popular among Americans while the country maintained close ties with the USSR. He once told Yaya, quote, there is a psychosis in this country about India. Now, a big part of Nixon's hatred of India is that it's led by a woman, Indira Gandhi. Oh my God.

Oh yeah, we'll be talking more about that in a second. Yaya, on the other hand, is one of the few people on planet earth that Richard Nixon comes to consider as a friend. One of Nixon's, one of Kishor's. They're both drunk assholes. They don't remember the friendship, but God was important to the two.

One of Kissinger's aides later said of the situation, they liked him. He was a soldier, he had style. He was kind of a jaunty guy. This, this aid, Hodgkinson admits that Yaia was not very smart, but says that for Nixon and Kissinger, he was a man's man.

He wasn't some woman running a country. Right. It says something they're talking about. Is it not how people talk about Yeltsin? Yeah, right. Yeah, he's a man's man as he sees the secret service is tracking him down drunk in the middle of DC. Yeah.

That was Yeltsin, right? Like a skit. Yeah, Yeltsin, who like, was passed out on the plane. I forget he was supposed to meet, because he passed out on the plane. And they were like, Boris, Boris, he's like, oh, fuck yourself. No, no, it's Boris. No, not.

If, look, if we had kept every world leader after that point to the standards of drunkenness that Yeltsin set, we wouldn't be having this war right now. I'll tell you that much. No. We might have had other wars. Well, no, no, no, no.

Nixon would wake up in the middle of the night too. And he'd'd be like drop the nuke, you know, and they'd be like The next day, I'd be like I don't remember what I said they're like thank God Yeah, we need to institute a mandatory drink minimum for all elected leaders in this country Yeah, I can join a bush so variety did not help if, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, is now illegal in several states for reasons that are too exquisite about. It's remarkable. It's just how we so dumb. How are we so dumb? It's amazing that in this like deeply ugly and complicated situation where large numbers

of people are suffering, Americans recognize that the right thing to do is to destroy bottles of vodka, not even in if the country's involved in the conflict they're taking finish vodka and just throwing it into the streets I'll take you, Rootkin Oh great country, here's some other ads Ah, we're back, man, man. That's a good shout outs. So this is not a Nixon mini series, but in order to talk about the friendship, the deep

and abiding love that the two men had, there is an incredible paragraph from the book The Blood Telegram by Gary Bass that I'm going to read now. Despite all his global face time, Nixon was a solitary, awkward, reclusive man, Kissinger, who could not bring himself to say that he was fond of the president, once famously asked, can you imagine what this man would have been had somebody loved him?

Oh my God, that's coming from Kissinger. That's coming from Kissinger. Oh. That's the saddest thing I can imagine. In the Kissinger being like, nobody really let, woof, if only someone had loved this man. If you're ever gonna make that, they me to be a buddy buddy boy. Even HR Holderman, the White House chief of staff, worried that the boss was too much in his

own head. And once tried to find the president of Friend, tracking down an oil man whom Nixon had reportedly liked in his Los Angeles days. And stalking him in a bogus White House. Okay, listen, listen, listen, listen, the movie needs to be written. Listen, listen, listen, the movie needs to be written. It's like driving Miss Daisy, but with a body count. Yeah, it's I love you, yeah, it's I love you man with war crimes. Yeah. Okay, so, so I'm James Franco is someone in this movie. So I'm going to, I'm going to work in the White House, but I can't act like I'm there

to meet him even though that's my whole thing is that's right. Yeah, so I'm just good it. So so what I so I have to like try to get in just drink him just drink with him and eat pineapple and whatever he wants to do just do it. He's got to want he's got to want to put weird things in pineapple. He's going to get really drunk and cry on your shoulder. He's gone to bomb several Southeast Asian places. Oh you guys talking about sorry I didn't mean to talk to you. Nothing big nothing buddy. Okay. Who's this fella? Oh, I like the look at your face. Oh, my name is Bobby and I, uh, sorry, my, uh, my pineapple and, uh, and my, I for lunch

I have pineapple and cottage cheese every day and it's it's just got out of the best meal It's absolutely the best lunch right up That's all I eat well. Yeah in between in between just guzzling vodka. That's generally what I have Am I on camera somewhere you got fuck around? What are you talking about? I mean, I just my heart is that but I feel I need to lay down. I'm sorry Oh God you're great. I you, my hardest is that I feel I need to lay down. I'm sorry. Oh, God. You're great. You're my favorite president and I just want to say thank you for killing so many people.

If you're HR halled, I mean, right? How do you recognize that you are trying to make play dates for a man bombing a legally multiple nations and not go? Democracy in all politics is a sham. I must go down in flames to take everyone out around me because that is the only justice that can be achieved. Is that what you're saying? Like Nixon belongs in the bubble

that the good witch and the wizard of Oz lives in. Yeah. Like he's on that level of, it's like, at some point you have to wake up and be like, okay, look, these guys are bombing the shit out of country and my goal is to find the president a buddy. Yeah, I have to get up and be like, okay, look, these guys are bombing the shit out of country and my goal is to find the president a buddy. Yeah, I have to get him a friend. And look, I'm trying to get him a friend. He might do something crazy if he doesn't have it.

He might become an angel or a little more. Oh, God. I'm like crazy. I just, it's great. It's just like you have a president who doesn't have a friend like a word, that's what really, even president doesn't have a friend. And that's a big part of why when it comes to deciding who should be the US intermediary to talk with now.

Yaya wins out over Chichescu. Oh my gosh. Because Nixon likes, yeah, you know, that's a big part of it. Not the whole reason, but that's a big part of it. Now, let's just remind everybody that Shesky was great. So I can't believe that. That's the flawless man. Also, by the way, great death.

If we are going to talk about pretty good punishing death, a lot punishing death. A lot more, I'll go so far as to say, most of the people we name in these episodes could have handled a chouchescu. Yeah, absolutely. We're going to have a bad way for it to go out. Yeah. Um, so when it comes time to decide, yes, anyway, they go with yaya.

Now, by 1971, again, spring of 1971 is when all of this political stuff with East Pakistan is coming to head, these protests are happening, you know, things are on the brink there of kind of like a civil conflict. Kissinger has been the center of US policy for three years at this point, right? US foreign policy. And folks in DC by 71 are amazed at the degree to which he has centralized power. His junior Southeast Asia aid, Sam Hoskinson recalled, the power was there. He was gathering it up.

You felt like you were at the political center of the universe. He and the president, that was where the decisions were made. What a... Sounds like a democracy to me, baby. Yeah. And you know what, instead of getting away from that, let's just replicate it forever. Yeah, let's just do versions of this forever, but with people who are, well, not, yeah,

let's just do versions of this forever. I'm not even gonna try to qualify it. Yeah. At age 48, Kissinger was new enough to power that he was noted at the time as being extremely jealous of anyone who might be seen as Arrival he focused obsessively on pleasing Nixon Henry himself had no particular biases against India or Indian Politicians at least not compared to Nixon But when he saw how racist his boss was he knuckled down and found his inner bigot He was successful enough that Nixon said of him,

Henry is my least pathological pro-India lover around here. God, good work, Henry. You did it, buddy. You won. You won the worst thing. In late 1970, Kissinger and Yaya began to make plans for a brokered secret meeting between the United States and China. As a thank you for his help.

In October of 1970, Yahya got to visit the White House in person, where Nixon agreed to sell weapons to his country again. Now this is illegal because there's an arms embargo, which does not get lifted, but they decide we'll just do it. It'll be a limited violation of the Arctic. I believe that there was a loophole for the FFs. Yeah, it would be of a we got drunk with me. I'm going to take more than Kanye. Quote from the blood telegram. Yaya got a reward for his efforts in late 1970 when he met Nixon

in the Oval office at the White House. And their last meeting before the crisis erupted, Nixon began to sell weapons to Yaya again, and what was officially built as a one-time exception to the US arms embargo imposed on both India and Pakistan in 1965. It was the kind of exception that demolishes the rule. That embargo had already been eroding under Johnson, but now Yaya secured a moderately big hall, a harbinger of much larger ones likely to come. The promised weapons included 6 F-104 fighter planes, 7 B-57 bombers, and 300 armored personnel carriers.

You know what I guess what's going to be done with the weapons we send them? Nothing. Yep, that's right. Oh. It's like, episode's done. All right. We all had fun. In March of 1971, Moussiebor, who is the, he's like the guy, the East Pakistani political

leader, right, who runs this party that wins the elections. He meets with Yaya and Dhaka, which is the capital of East Pakistan. And an attempt to reach an agreement over the elections, Yaya had just decided to ignore. At first, the agreement was, yeah, he's like, what was pretty good. Well, I think the agreement was already there. It was a like, don't know what the vote is. So at first, Yaya's like, hey, we settled things. Great. And then the very next day, he has Musubur arrested and sent 60,000 soldiers into East Pakistan.

Now, actually, I say, Sinsan, these guys have been slowly infiltrating the country for weeks by air, because you have to fly them in, right? They can't just drive anywhere, because there's India in between the two. They embarked on an operation called search light and I'm going to quote now from an article in the New Yorker firing squad spread out across East Pakistan sometimes assisted by local collaborators from Islamist groups that had been humiliated in the elections in the countryside where the armed resistance was strongest the Pakistani military burned in strafed villages killing thousands and turning many more into refugees.

Hindus, who composed more than 10% of the population, were targeted. Their unmuslimness ascertained by a quick inspection underneath their clothing. Tens of thousands of women were raped in a campaign of terror. Bengali's also murdered and raped Erdu speaking Muslims whom they suspect of being fifth columnists for West Pakistan. Archer Blood, the U.S. consul general Indaka, among others, reported the slaughter of professors and students at Daka University, an attempt to silence the intellectual class who had eloquently articulated Bengali grievances.

So archer blood is in the blood telegram really goes into detail about this guy. One of the very few cases of a powerful state department, or of a state department official with some power who's like a genuinely good person, blood works all over for the state department's diploma. He got such an evil name. He does have the worst like, right? He's like, he's like, he should be doing care in your life. Yeah.

So I think you should shoot fire arrows. He has opportunities to be in like what are considered more prestigious postings, including Greece, but he doesn't want to be in Greece because it's a CIA back dictatorship at this point. And Ben Gaul, you know, what becomes Bangladesh is like, he feels like I can do something there, right? It's this place that has a lot of like legitimate problems, but also there's this like burgeoning democratic movement and people are like taking.

And he's renowned in the area for being incredibly social with Bengalis. His kids make friends with local children who live around the invite them into their home and have slumber parties. Like he's just like a nice person. Right, and you're not gonna rise to, yeah. Who wants that guy? Bloodsensite telegram to Nixon and Kissinger.

Dave, when we tweeted about this, you asked, will there be blood? And I said there was going to be a blood telegram. This is what that is. In the blood telegram, archer blood attacks the Nixon administration for their deafening silence towards the violence in Bangladesh and moral bankruptcy in the face

of what he termed a genocide. And this gets signed by every diplomatic official who's in, who's in DACA. This enrages Nixon and Kissinger soothed his boss by saying that consul in DACA doesn't have the strongest nerves. Basically like, oh, he's just he's just getting scared by a little massacre of all of the students and professors at a university. Good university.

Good university. This guy, huh? The glory thing. I cannot believe his last name is blood. Let me rub your broken spine. Really would work better for my last name, you know? Yeah, so you did. Why my last name is about kissing?

And he has blood. He's the kissing guy. He's the kissing guy. You know what? He's the kissing guy. Bloody. The use of Kissinger added, and this is him now talking about what Yaya is doing in East Pakistan, quote, the use of power against seeming odds pays off.

He's very impressed by the fact that Yaya gains control of East Pakistan with just a few thousand soldiers. You know? Yeah. He's really impressed. So there's a bunch of people get angry. You know, one of the big people who's most vociferous in the US government against what's happening

in East Pakistan is Ted Kennedy. Oh, me. who's most vociferous in the US government against what's happening in East Pakistan as Ted Kennedy. He is like a really like, like takes this on as like a banner crusade. So, you know, once again, people get very angry at the administration for what's going on. Nixon tells Kissinger quote, the people who bitch about Vietnam,

bitch about it because we intervened in what they say as a civil war. Now some of the same bastards want us to intervene here, both civil wars. Is being like, see how inconsistent they are? Yeah. You know, pick which and pull. Rick, what do you want? In real life.

Do you think selling arms to one side in a civil war might be intervening? Yeah. Is that is impossible to have a citizen in the jail? We're not going to do that. We're not going to do that. We're not going to do that. Oh, Yaya needs how many more missiles? Absolutely. Look at this one.

This one's absolutely. So, Kissinger writes up a policy paper in which he urges the US to quote, make a serious effort to help Yaya into the war he'd started. And again, this isn't even really a civil war. East Pakistan isn't like mobilizing a vast army to fight for their independence. They like voted. Right. And the they are sent soldiers to kill them all. Yeah. Civil war.

It does, like, there start to be guerrillas and like the Indian government starts sending weapons into like the guerrilla fighters in East Pakistan, but like the massacres start first. Well, and again, I mean, like, to what you're saying, they're, he held an election. I mean, this would be like if David Cameron just, yeah, he had tanks the day after Brexit. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, God. That's a bad idea. That's not bad. I mean, marginally better, I guess. Yeah. Britain somehow colonizes the EU. Oh, my God. Britain finally colonizes itself.

I say that. You work for us. Well, we already bloody work for you. No, you don't. No, you do. No, we already did with British. You work for the British now. Oh, yeah.

And because of their Santa's education's, Gareth, your same fake accent can work for Yaya. I'm lovely. Because I, Yaya, no. So, um. I'm lovely. Because I, Yaya, no. So, um, cognac on the mind, I think. Nixon responds to Kissinger's policy paper with a handwritten note that he adds to the paper saying, don't squeeze Yaya at this time. Do you want to kiss?

You got advice under normal circumstances. In May, in May, India, this is, you know, India, there's a degree of at legitimate concern among Indian people for like the humanitarian crisis. There's also politically, there's tons of refugees, right? And so there's also this like very blunt political like, well, we can't let this be happening because refugees are a political problem for us, right? There's states, you know, nations don't make decisions ever because it's the right thing or the wrong thing to do. But India is broadly speaking on the right side of this one.

I think that's fair to say. So because they're watching what's happening, India starts massing troops on the border of East Pakistan in order to potentially intervene. But they don't do anything yet. Nixon tells Kissinger to cut off economic aid to India. If they intervene in this genocide, and Kissinger responds, quote, the last thing we can afford to do now is to have the Pakistani government overthrown, given the other things that we are doing. This is a clear reference to their plans to meet with China, right?

These very directly say, the reason we can't let anything happen to Yaya's government, even though they're carrying out a genocide, is because we need him to get to China. Now Kissinger follows this up with a Soptin Nixon's racism, calling Indians quote, the most aggressive goddamn people around there. Again, I mean, it's obviously like the projection is obviously insane. Nixon responds by telling Kissinger that what India needs is a mass famine. Kissinger does not die. She could cry. Kissinger does not disagree and he follows up by saying India has no right to invade another country.

Quote no matter what Pakistan doesn't it's territory? I'm going to take a five. You guys can keep going. I'm going to take a five. You guys can go now. That's fine. I'm going to a five you guys keep going I'm gonna take a five you guys keep going now That's fine. I'm gonna go ahead through a wall real concerned about national sovereignty I knew I imagined someone doing something like that. Yeah, we can discuss given the history of the United States of a whole who gets to fairly Complain about violations of national sovereignty, but definitely not Henry Kissinger. Yeah

Yeah, certainly not this guy But definitely not Henry Kissinger. Yeah, certainly not this guy, right? Yeah. It's like the fucking dudes from the Bush administration yelling at like what Russia's doing in Ukraine. Not the Russian actions in Ukraine. No, it is like, no, not you, not you. Not you, not you.

Yeah, I think there's a lot of people we don't want to hear from, but you're absolutely not you. On the fucking list, okay. So Kissinger assures his boss, besides the killing has stopped. So it's fine. It has not. It has not. It has not.

It has not. Okay. In April of 1970, Mon, which is, by the way, the, you know, archer blood, the State Department official who does everything possible to get the US to act. Kissinger and Nixon fire him. Get him immediately. I'm not that guy. I'm not that guy out of there, right?

Yeah. It's got his mind. Yeah, fuck it. He's terrible. He doesn't know what he's talking about. Yeah. Now in April of 1971, the same month as the blood telegram, and Nixon receives his official invitation

from the Chinese government. And it's again, it's a secret invitation, right? You know, everything's, because they don't know that it's gonna like work. You can't just have Nixon go to China. First, you have to send someone ahead of time to handle early negotiations. He needs to be blown up.

Like it's a whole process. Yeah, it's a pre-China. Yeah, it's a pre-China. You gotta, yeah, you gotta loob up your China before you get that dick. Yeah, before you get that dick in there, actually. That's right. That's right.

That's right. That's right. That's right. So I come. Nixon, Gleeful, tells Kissinger to go, Kissinger is the Loub in this situation. Tell it, Tell Kissinger to go in secretly and handle these early negotiations. He claims that this visit to China, their planning, will be, quote, a great watershed in history, perhaps clearly the greatest since World War II. And that's what Nixon says. Kissinger being a kiss ass responds by saying, no, no, it'll be the greatest since the

Civil War. I made my God. I have the idea that you're following that up with. I know. No, no. Badger. Badger than World War II. Yeah.

So July came and Kissinger set off for Southeast Asian. what was billed as a diplomatic tour of the region, but obviously is in reality a secret diplomatic mission codenamed. Oh boy. Oh no. Operation Marco Polo. Oh, for fuck's sake. Fuck's sake. I mean, at least just get a better marketing person. I know. It's like,

Nixon, Nixon, listen to me, Marco. Oh, fish on the water. Marco. So Nixon visits India and then he flies to West Pakistan. And shortly after landing, he thinks. The drink in here. Yeah, yeah. He's like, oh, my God Yeah, he fixed a stomach bug. Oh, I thought he's pretending to get a stomach pumped.

No, no, no. So he's like, you tell everybody I'm shitting. Yeah, tell everyone I'm pooping. We gotta get an excuse. Tell them I'm on the toilet shitting my brains out. So he cancels. Kissinger cancels a couple of days of planned meetings. And then while he's supposed to be sick,

he boards in secret a special plane that flies from Islamabad to Beijing. Now, I'm going to quote from a write-up in the Daily Star, which was an Indian newspaper that summarizes what happens next. During Kissinger's China visit, both sides discussed a variety of issues. Kissinger found Zau'en Lai, who had studied in France and Germany from 1920 to 1923, to be a very articulate person who could converse even in German, Kissinger's mother tongue with ease.

Both leaders agreed on recognizing Communist China as the only China and allotting a permanent seat in the UN Security Council to Beijing instead of Taiwan. The situation in the Indian subcontinent was discussed in detail, on which they had similar views, with both expressing their unwavering support to Pakistan. Zao briefed Kissinger about the Indo-Chinese border skirmishes and braimed and blamed India for provocations. Both leaders had complete convergence of views on Yaya stand on the Bangladesh issue. Kissinger flew back to Paris and reached Washington on July 13th.

So okay. Good. I mean, again, yes, they should be talking. Yes, this is fine. Yes, if you're going to have a security council Beijing, you should probably sit on it rather than fucking Taiwan. Also, it's just a shame that it needs to come from mainly alcoholics. Yeah. In order to make the right decisions, it needs to come on the back of genocides and blackouts. Yeah., I feel like probably if the Nixon administration had just like announced publicly through like the global media,

we were wrong the United States and our policy towards Taiwan and we want to recognize China and establish relationships with them and put them on the U. If they just like said that and like a news thing, probably China would have been like, oh, okay, this all can happen. But that also would have looked weak by oh, okay, this all can happen. But that also would have looked weak by the standards of like politics, right? It would have looked

like begging. And so they're not going to do that. They're going to do this instead, because it looks strong. Also, for the base who just wanted Vietnamese and Cambodian people to be fucking massacred, so they'd feel better. Yeah, it's the base we're talking about the best blood and they fired him. That's right. So when he got back to DC and sat down with his boss, Kissinger excitedly relayed the story of the cloak and dagger exercise. That's the week he's very excited that he got to do with James Bond.

He tells Kissinger or Kissinger tells Nixon quote, Yaya hasn't had such fun since the last Hindu massacre. Oh my fucking God. What in the fuck? There needs you need to just like bring in another. I mean, blood would have been a good part, but there just needs to be a regular person like, Hey, I'm sorry. We can't talk like that.

You guys keep getting really comfy with this language. It's really not okay. Yeah, nobody says a god there has to be like some motherfucker cleaning up Nixon's like puke in the corner. Yeah. And just a janitor who just like quietly shakes his head every time. Yeah, to camera. Yeah, yeah, they've got a gym in there. Yeah. Yeah. So the bartender, the knowing bartender. I just imagine that coming out of your mouth. Yeah, you're, you can't, it's not a joke when you say that while there's a genocide going on here, it hasn't had that much fun since a genocide. So that's, it

sounds a lot about us. I guess you celebrating a guy killing people. You realize how cool you got to be to look. I don't have a friend, but as I did. So on July 15, 1971, Richard Nixon addressed the United States and told everyone that Henry Kissinger had just conducted a secret mission which had concluded with an agreement for Nixon to travel to Beijing and negotiate. By this point, hundreds of thousands of Bangladeshi civilians were dead, and more than a million had been made refugees. India was edging closer and closer to war

over the whole matter, and it was the considered opinion of the defense establishment that they would win fairly easily. India had started arming at Bengali guerrilla fighters at this point, and during one meeting on the matter, Nixon described Indians as, quote,

a slippery, treacherous people who would like nothing better than to use this tragedy to destroy Pakistan. Oh, fuck, I mean, you can't even talk about it. It's like, you can't even say shit anymore. Yeah, it's just insane nonsense. It's just so crazy how this, you know, this is imperialism, colonialist language.

It's just never faded. No, no. There's just always guys in power. They've been talking like this. It's the fucking 1500s. It's never faded. No, no. There's just always guys in power. They've been talking like this is the fucking 1500s. It's the fucking. It's the, I mean, this guy's not, you can really call him in power, but it's that fucking journalist

for whoever talking about like Ukraine and like this is the first war between civilized nations. What the fuck do you know? It's quite different to see people who are white in European do it. That feels quite different. And the way he's carefully, that journalist you're talking about, the way he's carefully picking his language, and he's like, you're like, wait, this is your thoughtful version.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is your delicate statement. He cut the slurs out, you know? Yeah, he was like, gotta be careful here. I'm gonna say some dirty words. Because Nixon, they absolutely say some slurs, yeah. Oh yeah. So the outcry domestically and internationally reaches a fever pitch at this point, kind of late summer in 1971.

And in August, the escalating crisis pushes India to sign a formal treaty of friendship with the Soviet Union. Anti-communists, Nixon included, considered this a disaster and as good as an end to India's neutrality. But condemning Yaya, or stopping the sale of US weapons to a country committing genocide, was not considered an option. Yaya had to be kept in power until the China trip was conclusively locked down.

It's a scry, I'm going to quote him in the blood telegram. After a while after Kissinger returned from Beijing, he said, we cannot turn on Pakistan. And I think it would have disastrous consequences with China that after they gave us an airport, we massacre them. In this case, for Kissinger, massacre, putting pressure on a government, not the actual massacres. They've done so many massacres that massacres aren't massacres anymore. This is the only thing Henry Kissage

you're ever described as a massacres. It's the venomous. To Nixon's drunk genocide. Yeah, yeah. Nixon meanwhile was committing a genocide. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, that's good.

That's good. You know what? Somebody make a Nixon-themed gin cocktail. The genocide. It should be red in color. Pineapple. Mm-hmm. Death cherries.

A little bit of your own puke from the first sip. Yeah. So also in August, George Harrison and Ravi Shankar organized a benefit concert in New York supporting relief efforts in Bangladesh. Nixon brushed this off to Kissinger saying quote, by offer stirred up a few Catholics, but you know, I think by offer stirred people up more than Pakistan because Pakistan, they're just a bunch of goddamn brown Muslims. Oh, for fucking sake.

Fucking Christ. Uh-huh. Yeah. Wait, we need to bomb the Beatles. Yeah. Why being recorded? We have to make the Beatles. We have to kill the Beatles. We have to kill the Beatles.

The only one we can keep is Ringo. He seems like we could maybe shift him. Yeah. We're back. Again, I mean, it's like you would expect, and again, I mean, at least in my head, at some point, you would expect someone to just be like, guys, what the fuck? And even if it didn't really change anything, it would at least change the casual language

and racism that is just kind of tossed around. Or someone would be like, hey, you shouldn't be recording all this. Yeah. Oh boy, you shouldn't be recording all this dick. Hey, I'm gonna hit stop on this. Yeah, I'm gonna stop this. I'm gonna stop this for trade at the Nixon administration. Yeah, Nixon did.

Nixon was like, I think we got a mole that might be drug me. I think the blackout means recording us. We need to find a war on night Nixon. On October 25th, 1971, the People's Republic of China was admitted to the UN as a permanent member of the Security Council. Again, there's seen it been occupied for Taiwan by years. Taiwan gets like let out very unceremoniously.

China gets put in place. The People's Republic of China's representative celebrates with a vocal attack on quote, American imperialists and their running dogs. But nobody took this seriously. It was generally referred to as firing by empty cannons. You know, you're trying, you gotta get, you gotta throw out your attack on the US,

but like, you know, everybody's getting along at this moment. Right. By November, again, we just talked about the guy who built that giant mountain-sized cannon for Saddam. Like not long after this, the CIA is like illegally helping that arms designers subvert international treaties to sell cannons to China because China's not on good terms with the USSR.

It's all just like Brinksmanship, political fucker. That doesn't match up with some of the history in this country. That's straight. So yeah, by November of 1971, more than 10 million people had been made refugees by the violence in Bangladesh. Jeffrey Davis, a doctor who was brought into the country by the UN later, to perform late-term abortions on rape victims. Again, this is like... So, part of what happens is the systemic mass rape by Pakistani soldiers of Bangladesh women.

The UN brings a doctor in afterwards to like perform these abortions on these rape victims. The estimate before this doctor comes in is that between 200 and 400,000 Bengali women had been raped. And Jeffrey Davis says, oh, it's way more than that. Oh my God. It's much more than that. The CIA estimates 200,000 civilians are murdered in this period.

Given where the US stands on this issue, you might not want to trust the CIA's numbers. Now, the Soviet newspaper Probda estimates some 3 million dead, which is also likely not entirely accurate, but is probably closer than the CIA's numbers. Credible low estimates of the death toll are over half a million. It is very likely that between 1 and 2 million Bengalis were murdered, one and a half million is often what you will hear, probably pretty fair, although any kind of exact count is obviously impossible. But this is a genocide on the Titanic scale, you know? In December, West Pakistan declared war on India. Remember, Yaya is not good at things.

So I mean, I mean, again, breakfast coniac, I'll do you some crazy shit. So, their man declares war again, yaya declares war. That's right. We're going to be a big party fun. You're messing the wrong, yeah, yeah. Nixon and Kissinger blame this on Indira Gandhi. Oh, but this is why I came out of the woman in India. Nixon has to be attacked. Nixon tells Henry that in Make Sure Heart Sick to see Pakistan be done so by the Indians. And after we have the gun, the good God, after we've worn

to the bitch, sorry, I cut you off. Yeah. And after we have worn to the bitch, I mean, again, it's like you're not in a tavern. This is the fucking White House. Mm-hmm. Should we put that in an official press statement? What I believe not rich, let's talk about that in the morning. Oh, let's call her a horror then. Let's just, yeah, you're right.

Yaya proved to be his bad at war as he was good at being friends with Dick Nixon. The Indian military curb stomps Pakistan. I cannot exaggerate the degree to which these guys get their asses handed to them. Within a week, it is clear that not only is West Pakistan going to lose the war, but Pakistan might not survive as a country as a result of how badly they're being beaten. Right. Yaya is not good at anything. I want to quote now from a write up by an Indian veteran.

Oh, it's very good at drinking. He's really drinking. That's right. Yeah. What do you mean I started with? There was danger. I said, I'm sorry. I can't know.

It's probably my worst knockout. So I want to quote now from a write up by an Indian veteran of the conflict for Indy TV, which is another Indian news periodical. On December 8th, this Pakistani defense is an East Pakistan. We're following before the onslaught of the joint command of the Indian Army and Bangladesh in Mukti Bahini, Liberation Warriors. Richard Nixon and Henry Kissinger were busy plotting ways to change the tide of war or arrest it.

Henry Kissinger, in a meeting with Richard Nixon in Attorney General Newton Mitchell, now to classified, said he has got a message for you, to you, from the Shah of Iran, which says he can send the ammunition to a beleaguered Pakistan. He is doing it now. What is going on?

I mean, I know who can help us here. The Shah of Iran. The level of war to stop war. Yeah. So. Who's another piece of shit we can bring in on this? The brilliant diplomat also revealed that a Rand Wilson fighter plane to protect Jordan from Israel while Jordan will send jets to Pakistan for the war effort against India.

What? What? Honestly, what is like, it's how like an NFL trade works. Yeah, how could you have thought this would work? I mean, it's a drunk game of risk. Yeah, it is. He's just wasted playing risk. The US National Security Advisor also expressed fear that India would attack West Pakistan

in a major way after winning the war in the East. The Indian plan is now clear, this is Kissinger. They're going to move their forces from East Pakistan to the West. They will then smash the Pakistan land forces and air forces, annex the Pakistan occupied part of Kashmir and then call it off, warrant Henry Kissinger. When this has happened, the centrifugal forces in West Pakistan would be liberated, but Lucas Stan and the Northwest Frontier will celebrate. West Pakistan would become a sort of intricate Afghanistan. So, this is in Afghanistan. Let's in risk concern.

So he insists this is enough of a disaster that the US has to send the seventh fleet into the Bay of Bengal in order to scare India. The seventh is headed by the USS Enterprise and is widely considered to be the most powerful naval force on Earth. This prompts the Russians to send a fleet in as well. And the world gets to live through another period of are we going to have a nuclear war? Oh Jesus Christ. Kissinger, because he's real good at calming people down, encourages China to intervene against India.

And in Nixon's words, quote, scare those goddamn Indians to death. China's like, maybe we should go back to the Taiwan thing. That actually seemed to be, that might be a little far. That seemed to be pretty good. Actually, that was working a little better, I think for you guys.

Yeah. Welcome aboard. Now you're in hell. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. In the end, Kissinger's plan failed. India does not take his bait

and in late December Pakistan surrenders to India. East Pakistan, because with its own independent nation, Bangladesh, Yaya is forced out of office and placed under house arrest where he suffers a stroke. So that's good news. I'm genius. I've got it out here for a comeback, boys.

It's called the comeback Konya, kid. Oh, you mean I can't leave, that'll be fine. So, Kissinger claims this whole state of affairs. How this all resolves is a victory for the Nixon administration. Of course. I mean, announced clearly. He announces this by saying, congratulations, Mr. President. You saved West Pakistan.

I did. What time was the last night? You saved Westpac. I'm amazing. I mean, who's the hero? Oh. Oh, I mean, two months later, yeah. Congratulations, big said. Amazing. Now, two months after the end of the war, Nixon makes his big visit to China. The media eats it up and suddenly Nixon's re-election campaign has something to hang their

hats on beyond claims that peace and Vietnam is gonna happen one of these days. We'll get around it. They taught with the Soviets this announced soon after, right? They do, like, they're good, obviously, it's good. Like, if this happens, good things result from it. During a conversation later that year, Kissinger tells his boss, no one has yet understood what we did in India, Pakistan,

and how we saved the China option, which we need for the bloody Russians. Why should we give a damn about Bangladesh? Well, there you go. That says it all, right? Yeah, there it is. Nobody's congratulating us on how good of a job we did. Yeah, well, I mean, in their opinion and their track record of foreign policy, it's all

about egg breaking, you know, for whatever version of Omlet Bay insists they egg breaking. Yeah. You know, for whatever version of Omelette they had since they're serving. Yeah, and it's like, yeah, man, I agree. The US, you know, Mao and fucking Kissinger, or Mao and Nixon should have sat down and talked like all of these conversations that happened, detent with Russia good, feel like you didn't need to back a genocide to make that happen. You know, that wasn't a necessary ingredient. It's easy to look back on a genocide and go, was this right or wrong, but we get in the middle

of a genocide, you're like, yeah. Yeah, it seems pretty okay. I'm getting a, I'm getting a, which genocide you are. How much can I talk to people? I'm having cognac with Yaayah before flying the genocide. I keep in mind I'm good here. I'm pretty much black with yaya before flying the chat. I keep it mine, I'm good here. I'm pretty much black out drunk for all this.

I'm pretty good for a guy who can't walk in a straight line. Yeah. It's... anyway, that's how Henry Kissinger made peace between the nuclear powers. I'm sorry. Jesus fucking Christ. No answer next time that was. I mean, it is the most chaotic, insane fucking nonsense. It's just crazy.

Now, I really, it is on a level where, I mean, it's been hard to process the whole time, but now it's like, it's normalized. And you're seeing the version when they're sort of, the training wheels have been taken off. How much they are actually doing and getting away with, like again, I mean, just to have an adult in the room, but I mean, you fire the adult, obviously.

But it is, I mean, it just is absolutely fucking preposterous that this is not well-known about, or even if it is well-known, how the fuck Kissinger keeps showing up over and over again. Oh, yeah, he's the, with all these people that people are sick of fans for in our, in our politics. No, I can never, I can never get over the fact that Hillary Clinton was campaigning with him. Yeah, and that people are like,

Oh, look who's back, shady. One of the things that so, this doesn't really mark on the moral list of things that he did wrong, but I just find it so shameful that like, again, you have all of these other people, like all of the folks we talked about, like, yeah, yeah, like Nixon,

who do horrible things? But are like also getting to like exercising power and like the big men and like, you know, the dudes at the, like, I don't know, they're not like sick of fans, whereas Henry is just sort of like sucking up to everyone around him in order to further war crimes, which again, yeah, it doesn't, it doesn't rate discussing on a moral level compared to everything else. It just is like,

that's the guy he is. Yeah, he's just like a power call. That's the guy he is. He's just like, he is not, I mean, and also, and I don't mean to keep beating this drum, but they're drunk. Yeah, well, I don't think Kissinger is, but Nixon for sure. That's what I mean. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, is a Nixon is, and Kissinger is not, and he's still like, ah, that's pretty good idea. Yeah, you know, it's to be like, it would be like if you're around like,

like, you're in a car ride to Florida with three drunk guys, and they're just like, hey, what a bit drink last night, the one guy's like, I have a drink, but let's go to Florida. Yeah. God, it's man. And the blatant racism as far as like who you're willing to sacrifice. I mean, you know, as usual with this country where, yeah, you just, you really do not give a fuck.

They really just literally do not care about anybody who's not like, they just don't fucking care. Yeah. Why, why, why would they? I mean, if you're them them There's no referee in this game. So foul as much as you want Fucking to fucking you know grow up with the Nazis right there and watch the Holocaust and then Dave David This is child that he just child that he didn't was not affected by this child. That's true

Sorry, yeah, you know we packed on going back to that but that, again, we've sort of knocked that domino down. That did not happen. Like it never occurred. It didn't happen, clearly. Yes. You know, that's why, look, that's why he's fine with what's happening in Bangladesh. He knows it's not going to affect those kids.

The ones who survive. Those who lived through history are doomed to repeat it because it was fine. Yeah, because it was fine. I was really fine. It was fine. Yeah, because it was fine. It was fine. Why? Because I said so. Yeah. Oh, anyway, I just typed in Kissinger's name in to Google and the first thing that comes up is you pile up on it. Oh, God. What did you say? Fucking hell. I, we don't need to settle the UK and crisis started at the end. I don't even want to know.

That was 2014. What the fuck? Okay, okay. Still nonsense. Of course, yes, it would be great to start at the point where there's not a war, but that's not really helpful in raping. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Oh, he's funny. Yeah, okay. Whatever. He's on the same thing. Yeah, he's doing kiss. It doesn't matter. Obviously, when you say, there's point things like the fucking nuclear disarmament where like, you can find moments in history where he's right.

It doesn't matter if he's right or wrong about a specific issue because we see what he actually does, which is whatever it takes to keep himself close to power. He doesn't believe anything to the extent that he's ever right or a part of something good, like arms reductions. It's because that's the thing that the people who he's sick of, fans to want to do. It doesn't matter that he's supported the opposite thing for years, because he doesn't care. Yeah, because it's a parasite just looking for a hug.

Yeah. That's the thing. Don't give him credit for anything. Yeah. It's the thing like I don't give him credit for anything. Yeah, well, it's funny. It's funny. He said that because all these articles about what he said about Ukraine in 2014. So people are going back to like, he said, and you're like, yeah, I know that guy's a fucking worker.

If only he'd thought to start at the end of the war with only we'd thought of that Henry Ray Point Henry. Solid. We're going to start. We're going to start to go find me to get you bones. Yeah. Ha ha ha ha. Oh God.

I hope. Oh Lord. If he doesn't die immediately, obviously him dying immediately is my primary hope. But I hope if he doesn't die immediately, he lasts long enough to get sucked into one crypto scam. You know? Just one good crypto currency scam.

Can we get that at least? I want to restart his own crypto called Hank Bank. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Hank of America. I am now a blockchain. I hope you could buy piece of my skin. Each NFT represents an individual time Richard Nixon vomited into my lap.

I become an NFT. Oh God. Well, well done again. Well, anything here. Again, it's getting harder. All right. We are the dollop and you can go to dolloppodcast.com for tour information. We will be all over Australia and America this summer. And then you can go to my website, which is garruthrottles.com for standup dates domestically and in Australia. And go to parasite.com, which is just pictures of a Kissinger.

Yeah, yeah. Go to his parasite. Go to his parasite. I have a novel, just Google AK Press after the revolution. It's for pre-order now. You can still get it signed. Every copy, I will spit on Henry Kissinger's grave once when he dies.

So make me do a lot of fun. You're gonna need an IVX. Yeah. Robert's getting looser, everybody hurry. Look, like all politicians, I won't entirely keep my promises. Some of that spit's gonna be pissed. You know, some of it's gonna be pissed.

Here we go. Already breaking it. Already breaking it. Yep. That, I don't know you. Oh, yeah. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. So the holidays can be a great time.

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he believed he was taking on a world-changing figure. That night, he was deciding whether or not to allow Starlink to be enabled to allow a sneak attack on Crimea. What he got was a subject who also sowed chaos and conspiracy. I'm thinking it's idiotic to buy Twitter because he doesn't have a fingertip feel for social, emotional networks. And when I sat down with Isaacson five weeks ago, he told me how he captured it all. They had Kansas spray paint and they're just putting big axes on machines and it's almost like kids playing on the playground. Just choose them up left, right, and center. And then like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, he doesn't even remember it, getting the bars, done and excused being a total f***.

But I want the reader to see it in action. My name is Evan Ratliffe and this is On Musk with Walter Isaacson. Join us in this four-part series as Isaacson breaks down how he captured a vivid portrait of a polarizing genius. Listen to On Musk on the iHeart Radio app Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. The assassination of President John F. Kennedy is the greatest murder mystery in American history. That's Rob Breiner.

Rob called me, so let it go, Brian Bryan and ask me what I knew about this crime. I know 60 years later, new leads are still emerging. To me, an award-winning journalist, that's the making of an incredible story. And on this podcast, you're going to hear it told by one of America's greatest storytellers. We'll ask who had the motive to assassinate a sitting president. My dad, 5JFK, screwed us at the Bay of Pigs, and then he screwed us after the Cuban Missile Crisis. We'll reveal why Lee Harvey Oswald isn't who they said he was.

I was under the impression that Lee was being trained for a specific operation, then we'll pull the curtain back on the cover-up. The American people need to know the truth. Listen to Who Kill JFK on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The dollop crossover special event, week three of our Henry Kissinger series and the stress is getting to everyone. David and Gareth fighting viciously.

I mean, I've been quite calm. I just, when I'm attacked, like Henry Kissinger, I am attempting to maintain a balance of power between you and the state of detente. You get it. You have the answers. Yes, yes. Our podcasts are now bombing Cambodia. Finally, a show that I relate to. Oh boy, well, this is week three. Can you all believe we're already in the home stretch of this series? Is it week three? Yes.

Wow. Episode five and six today. So believe me, we've been living together for three weeks. I know. Most podcasts don't make all of the guests live together, but we do it. What do they do? Yeah, I think with like the internet,

I'm gonna have to look that up in my dictionary. Yeah, so I've enjoyed our time here. I have a really light. I don't, I don't want to leave. So, I mean, but I mean, I, we know we should. I got to go back to as a family. We could do another couple of episodes on Henry Kissinger, but you know, just do one a year for the next like five years. We'll just do it. We'll just be like a reunion show. Yeah. What's Henry Kissinger up to? A revival. Yeah.

There's probably more chapters coming out. Yeah. Hopefully just dead soon. Hopefully dead is what we live. Yeah. I don't think that ends it. Somehow, I feel like that's not going to be enough. Yeah.

We'll be doing the episode about how Henry Kissinger brings the army of hell back through a portal to somehow fight on both sides of the Ukrainian war. And the army of hell's been misled as to the rationale. They're like, you said that there was going to be a lot more slavery here. Go ahead, Dwayne. Follow me. Come with me.

I'll show you where they are. WMDs. Henry Kissinger. I should have studied Kissinger's accent before this. Totally, but you do have an ear for accents? It's all right. This will be so iconic that it will retroactively become Henry Kissinger's accent. I kind of like the Nazis are now British.

I do. I do want, I do want just one picture accent. I nail one thing. Hello, governor. It's really good. Perfect. Wow. It's like we're there. It's like we're in the Oval Office.

I am excited for when, what's his name? The guy who did vice, that director, what's his fucking name? You know what I'm talking about? The Cheney movie. Yes, Adam McKay. Adam McKay. When Adam McKay does his Kissinger movie in 10 more years, he'll use that accent to.

That would be great. David will be on set, coaching Christian Bale. You know what you're saying? Hello, and it's really more aloe, aloe, aloe. Like aloe vera. So here at Behind the Basters, and at the dollop, which Behind the Basters is the Kirkland brand version of. We like to ask questions that historians all too often try to ignore it,

namely, how did bad people in history fuck? So, we're talking about how Kissinger boned. Are you excited for the stick? No, no, I wanna go, can I leave? I think you want to go to the library. I'm not. Take care of himself if you can't stand.

You know, this is, it is important to both cover the library and take care of himself. If you don't stand. You know, it is important to both cover the historical crimes of a guy like Hissinger and to get some personal color. And since we've spent four episodes talking about his beliefs and his acts and power, it's only fair that we now turn our fuckroscopes onto his sex life. You know, you're like, this episode is going to have bass under it, right? Absolutely. Absolutely.

I'm going to play that. Yeah. This episode is gonna have base under, right? Absolutely. Oh, man. Oh, man. Yeah. Um, so I think the best way for me to start this segment is by reading a quote from a September 15th, 1971 article in the San Francisco Chronicle. As a warning guys, there is a 30% chance this is gonna give one of you a stroke. Oh, no. You mean what you mean we're gonna be stroking it or actual stroke? That is impossible to say with stroke. Oh no. You mean we're going to be stroking it or actual stroke. That is impossible to say. Okay. Quote. Henry Kissinger, sex symbol of the Nixon administration.

Sorry, I'm going to bite a stick. Let me bite a stick. I'm just going to bite a stick to be safe. I'm just going to get a branch of my mouth. Steps out of his office onto a sun-drenched sand-culomente terrace with a cup of black coffee and sits in a white deck chair with his legs crossed. Oh, thank God. The man who was pressured Moscow drafted state of the world addresses, advised the President to enter a Cambodia and pave the road to red-China, appears as something of an anachronism in his baggy midnight blue cotton trousers.

What? Black tie shoes, bright blue unfitted blazer, blue and white striped shirt and striped tie. What? You guys hold men so far? I mean, what? What? Embedded reporter, LL Bean. Why?

I can't imagine combiting the fashion sense with the war crime. It's so good. Because they acknowledge the war crimes. And then you go like, talk about how you start. It's like Henry could be walking down a catwalk like, like, you'll see Henry right now in a tight white pan suit. You can see it sucked to him. Henry also known for ruining Cambodian Vietnam.

It's been a round of a- Continue the quote. Here comes mass motor sex machine. Kiss and your- oh no, it's an open robe. On the back wall you can see some victims of the Agent Orange campaign in here with a Vietnam and- On Henry and Henry Tucker. You could notice the outline of his hog in those. I don't know fancy pants brands. Otherwise, I would have finished that. But I'm going to finish the quote now because by God, there's more. What are you trying to do? Seduce me? Henry

will tease as he notices his visitor's hot pants. You know, I like these hot pants very much. Then he'll light your cigarette touching touching your hand as all contentals do. Offer you a cup of coffee and discuss trivia as readily as he would a sino-soviet entente. The impeccably tidy image is perfect for dealing with a lexie-coastion or zowen-lye, or lecturing at Harvard. But one cannot help wonder if the movie stars' mind that the ankle socks of Washington's greatest swinger are falling down, or that his wiring chestnut hair, which flashes golden in the intense white sunlight, is too close crop to run their fingers through, or that

at least 10 of his 178 pounds protrude over his thin black belt, somehow shortening his 5 feet 9 inches. But suddenly, an electric twinkle will flash through the intense blue of his eyes, and one of the edges an inkling of that movie star magnetism, that special quality, which causes some people to call him, Cuddly Kissinger. No! How is that the craziest thing that's happened so far? How is that?

How did that happen? Oh man. This is worse than war crimes. He emphasis. Oh my God. A bottom below the bottom folks. Can we go back to just murdering 100,000 camp bodies? How did that happen? What in the fuck just went on? Is this a guy or a lady

writing this? I think it's a lady. I'm not certain it's a lady. Yeah. She wants to fuck up. She wants to or the dude wants to hold your hand when he lights your cigarette. Why do we have to talk about Kissinger's chest hair? Why? Why? Why? Indeed. Why indeed, David? Because can we napalm it? This is what napalms for, right? Speaking of palm, a little palm aid in that hair of Henryries. This has convinced me there is a place for the B 52 bomber in his pants. Boy, that's what Henry calls little Hank. So bafflingly almost impossibly, it is not hard to find articles written at this exact sexual tenor. And unfortunately, I would love to tell you guys that I'm sure this was like a satire or a joke,

but people were weirdly serious about this kind of shit. In 1972, and there's no way you're ready for what comes after this part of the sentence. In 1972, the Playboy Club hosted a poll of the bunnies and asked them who was, quote man I would most do that on a date with Henry Kissinger was number one. Oh, no, no. What a horrible indictment of it. No, worst indictment of America that has ever been. This is the most damning thing you can say about us right on the ground and the playboy

mansion. What? How is that? I can't. It's like we're in the back to the future bif timeline. Well, hold on. The man who massacres hundreds of thousands knows how to fuck. That's just an old saying. That is. That is an old saying. I want to fuck you like I fuck the people of Vietnam over. That is an old saying. I want to fuck you like I fucked the people of Vietnam over. So once the first few articles about Henry Kissinger's, you know, sex symbol, it dude, dropped, you know, Kissinger himself started being questioned by reporters about the phenomenon. His standard reply became one of his most famous quotes. Power is the ultimate

Afro-Diziac. I mean, like, there are, there is, I mean, people are attracted to like, yeah, psychos too. Like Ted Bundy had like a fan club and like, you know, like, I mean, like, I've been compared to Jeffrey Dahmer a number of times looks, which has always been a pleasure. And you're both very handsome young men. I've been compared to Jeffrey Dahmer a number of times looks, which has always been a pleasure. And you're both very handsome young men. And yes, thank you so much. And both still in the primes of our youth.

Absolutely. It's still, it's like, you feel like there is a separation with him and what, it just seems very, like a very strange connection. It's baffling. Other than that, like, here's the sad thing. We're gonna get to this. It's not just that he's powerful. And the other thing about him that makes him

women so attracted to him is like, bleak in a surprising way. But we'll get to that. So famous women loved being spotted on Kissinger's arm. One night he was cited at the trader Vicks in the Los Angeles Hilton. Learning and holding hands with Jill St. John, who played the very first Bond girl. What? He dated the first James Bond girl. Come on.

The head. He needs to be in the head. He needs to be in the head. Yeah, and so does Jill St. John, to be honest. Oh, my God. That little fucking murder troll. Well, that was so horrifying. Who could have pinnered that part? Who goes from bond to murder munchkin? I mean, Bond is kind of a murder. Yeah, but he's a good guy.

He's a good guy. Come on, always a good guy. So while they were out on this date, Jill St. John and Kissinger were spotted by Ann Miller, Ann was a dancer, famous dancer at the time. She approached Kissinger and, quote, in a friendly way, these are the words of biographer Walter Isaacson, criticized him for having fun in public while our boys and Vietnam are getting their heads shot off. Kissinger responded, dowerly, Ms. Miller, you don't know anything about me. I was miserable in a

marriage for most of my life. I never had any fun. Now is my chance to enjoy myself. Whitney's administration goes out. I'm going back to being a professor, but while I'm in the position I'm in, I'm damn well going to make it count. I mean, no point does he acknowledge that that is an unfair thing he's doing. He's just like, look, come on, even us, you know, psychopaths need to have some fun. Yeah, and it's, I mean, it's nice to hear someone like approach him and say something like that too. Yeah, yeah.

And of course, she approached him for not doing right by our GI's and as opposed to not doing right by millions of Cambodian and Vietnamese and it's a morsel It's a morsel out in yeah civilians, but yes, it is a morsel. I did something similar to the leasing or the counting crows I went up to him and said that his His band was bad and they drove me crazy You're bands of war crime You know Dave you might have had more of an impact if you'd criticized him for playing his music while our boys in Vietnam bad and they drove me crazy. You bands of war crime. You know, Dave, you might have had more of an impact if you'd criticized him for playing his music while our boys in Vietnam are getting their head shut off.

I'm not going to say you would have had some trouble parsing that out. Sir, are you okay? Yes. I'm here playing your jam bed while I'm watching the video. I'm around there dying in the mud face down in the mock. I dare you.

I think you're the wrong person That that you are you are edging up on my favorite conspiracy theory Which is that the Tonkin Gulf incident was engineered by the counting crows in order to sell out the kids later. We know it was. We know that's fact. That seems proven at this point. So biographer Walter Isaacson describes Kissinger as having quote, the boyish glee of a senior on prom night and the twinkle of a middle-aged rake. He regularly had quote striking blonde

women come with him into the White House on lunch dates, so he could show them off to his colleagues, telling a coworker on at least one occasion to eat your heart out. He's very much like bragging to other dudes about the fact that being Henry Kissinger has turned him into a sex symbol. He just had a gun and he was like, no literally, it's your own heart. So it was known that Kissinger's notorious temper could be somewhat offset by tossing young women in front of him. When his staffers fucked up and had to give him bad news about a scheduling issue, they'd send the youngest female secretary they had

to go and give him the news. The White House press office used Diane Sawyer for this purpose. Oh my god. Eventually the two this purpose. Oh my God. Eventually, the two started dating. Oh my God. I mean, I should not be allowed to still be doing news. I mean, you need to have your news license revoke. Do you think it just comes, pure poison? Oh, yeah. It's like, sir and gas. It's just like a gas slowly releases. Yeah. We could a harness Henry Kissinger's come to get Europe off of Russian crude.

They're going to drop the Kissinger goo on us. Diane Sawyer later told New York magazine, quote, the power of Henry working a room is still seismic. All of a sudden, everybody wants to step up their game and say something he'll find interesting or funny. And I don't know how much of this is just like his now, he's clearly a charismatic man, right? He clearly is. It feels like it's dinner for schmucks

and he's like the roob. Like it feels like it's not- He ever wants to do it. Like this is a bit. Everyone's just doing a bit. Like it's just like, it's even a grue with the person that we we I see and hear about that you're like, oh my God,

if you can get in a room with Henry Kissinger, just get right next to you, will not leave his side. Yeah, obviously sexy, obviously sexy. Who wouldn't want to fuck Henry Kissinger, of course. What's the one too? Now, this is all profoundly upsetting, but it gets weaker. So it's a six in his probably Kissinger's best biographer.

If Walter Isaacson is correct, the reason all these women liked hanging around Henry wasn't just that he was powerful. And no, it was not that he had, you know, incredible dick game, which I'm sorry for saying that in the context of Henry Kissinger. Thank you. Thank you. I have's we just lost i have it that that that that we we are we just plunged in the rankings i believe that that's a fireable and that's yeah yeah yeah

uh... i'm gonna quote now from kissinger a biography by Walter i zixon kissinger's secret with women was not all that different from his one with men whom he wanted to charm. He flattered them. He listened to them. He nodded a lot and he made eye contact. But unlike the way he was with most men, Kissinger was exceedingly patient with women who wanted to talk.

Barry Fjellman in the 1970s actually listened to women, according to Betty Lord. Henry talked to you seriously and probed for what you knew or thought. He was someone who could and would make a Jill St. John feel intelligent or a surely McLean feel politically savvy. Next to Ingmar Bergman, he is the most interesting man I have ever met," said Liv Ulman. He is surrounded by a fascinating aura, a strange field of light, and he catches you in some kind of invisible net. Over long dinners at public places, he would listen to sympathy while women talked about themselves, their lives, their hopes, and even sometimes their slightly whacking

new age philosophies. He would call them on the telephone late at night and talk for an hour or more at a time. He was a great friend, especially a telephone friend, always there when you needed him," said Jill St. John. The dirty little secret about Kissinger's relationship with women was that there was no dirty little secret. He liked to go out with them, but not home with them. His fascination with affairs tended to be foreign, rather than domestic. Henry's idea of being romantic was to slow down his car

when he dropped you off at a date, said Howard. He may have been how, in fact, the most celibate lecture in Washington. People say, yes, he doesn't do anything with these girls. His friend Peter Peterson once remarked. Wait, well, I was just is what the fuck is happening. So he's a little asexual. I don't know if he.

I mean, he definitely had sex. He had relationships. He had kids. But I think the being seen with women, the being seen as a sex symbol wasn't, but yeah, I don't think he had a particularly high sex drive. I don't think he's going out and like fucking his way through like famous people.

I think he likes being seen in public with beautiful women. And I think beautiful women, number one, he's safe. Like he's not gonna pressure you for anything. And number two, he'll actually listen to you. Like he's just coming. Which is, it's an extremely low bar. It's really bleak, right? There is like something to that, you know, it's like,

he's doing, yeah, I mean, I think that even now with guys, like what I mean, you're like guys talk, you're like, yeah, it's like just be respectful and it'll probably get you like, I mean, it at least makes you not an asshole. Yeah. I mean, he's, he's, he's, you know what it is, I think the women in this situation are getting something out of it, right? Being within rekissons, you get you in the news, it raises your profile. He's extremely famous and powerful. And you get taken maybe even more seriously, you know, as a woman who's a journalist who wants to be seen as kind of intellectual, being around Henry Kissinger, he's a very serious public intellectual. It's good for your career.

And also he's just men in power were so much worse than they even are now, that he was like the best dude in that world you could hang out. He's kind of like, it's almost like a Batman villain, again, in the sense that like he's got, he's this evil piece of shit, but yet he is also able to hold a conversation and not be a prick. And you're like, wow, who could pull off such opposing forces? Yeah. He treats women like humans. That is magic. Yeah. Literally that is magic. He will look a woman in the eyes. Yeah. He is the only same John feel smart. The guy is a magician. Yeah. He is the only he is the only St. John feel smart the guy is a magician. Yeah, he is the only he is the only man in power in Washington DC Who will like sit down with a woman and listen to what she has to say right and as a result

He is the primary sex symbol of 1970s Barcelona. I mean it's incredible. It also again, it comes down to what we've talked about before with him, which is media normalization and how it is just, once you kind of create that bubble, it most people just acquiesce. And then you're just like, you know, you kind of like dyazoyers just like, oh yeah, well, people don't throw bricks at him when he's outside,

so he's okay. Now, Isaacson's gives an example of a typical relationship. Kissinger's friendship with Jan Golden, who's a New York socialite he dated from 70 to 71. She was 22, he's like 50. And Kissinger had been given her name bike. Kissinger had been given her name bike, by Kirk Douglas.

Jesus Christ. Kirk Douglas is the fucking hookup in this case. Oh my God. So Henry calls her one day without warning and asks if she wants to come out for dinner. When she flew down to DC to meet him, she was met at the airport by one of Kissinger's military aides who drove her to a fancy club where he was dining.

The two sat down to eat and midway through dinner, Henry got a phone call and stayed away for 40 minutes. When he came back, he apologized and said that the Secretary of State had needed his advice. But whenever he was present, he paid coast close attention to her and he asked her her opinion on issues of the day. She found the overall experience he had. The two dated for half a year without any romance ever developing.

Isaacson writes, quote, only once did they go back to his apartment. And when they arrived, an aide was there, fielding telephone calls by Golding's count, the phone rang 40 times. You couldn't do anything romantic in that place, even if you were dying to, she recalled. Who's dying? Nobody's dying to. She wants to get fucked by the old weirdo. Yeah, she's into it. I must have been you and my cock is horned.

Yeah. Yeah, she said, I just don't think Henry was interested in sex when it came time to perform. Well, I just think he was too preoccupied for it. He didn't have time for it. Power for him may have been the Aphrodisiac, but it was also the climax. Oh my God. Oh my God. I know.

That's a line right there. That's what he was doing in the bathroom for 40 minutes. Oh, oh, oh, minutes. Oh, Henry. So on one occasion, Henry was more honest than usual with one of his female friends, Oriana Filacci, who's an Italian author and a former World War II partisan. She's actually a pretty fascinating person. He said, quote, when I speak to Lee Duck Toe, who is the Vietnamese negotiator for North Vietnam, I know what I have to do with lead October. And when I'm with girls, I know what I must do with girls.

Besides, lead October doesn't at all agree to negotiate with me because I represent an example of moral rectitude. This frivolous reputation, it's partially exaggerated, of course. What counts as to what degree women are part of my life, a central preoccupation? Well, they aren't that at all. For me, women are only a diversion, a hobby. Nobody spends too much time with his hobbies.

See, for a minute there, you're sort of thinking, okay, well, if he's getting something out of female accompaniment, then in a way that is, I mean, there's something kind of like, there is something kind of nice about the idea that a guy isn't just not like trying to fuck his way through, you know, beautiful women. Like he's just enjoying the company of women. But then the more you kind of peel back, the more it just does seem to be like he's just backwards. He's a backwards person.

Every part of him has just been rearranged. He's like a mannequin body of guts that fell down and was put back improperly. Now, the surprise Kirk Douglas cameo there. Make you in on the fact that Henry was also very popular with the celebs set. During a party thrown for glorious Steinem by the talk show host Barbara Hower. Because you're told there's a symbol, I am a secret swinger. Now, yes, yeah, that's the thing he claims. I like any hole.

Maybe it's a joke. Yeah, that means he's like, he's saying he likes to fuck, but all the evidence we have is that he doesn't like. Yeah, I think, again, I think that's him myth making. I think that's a thing that, yeah. I like to go around and touch the genitals of fucking people. Yeah, you go to a Swinger's party in DC and Henry's just I like to go around and touch the genitals of fucking people. Yeah, you go to a swingers party and DC and Henry's just there putting a finger on things. Is it okay if I penetrate both of you with the pink earrings?

I get nothing out of this. It's fine. I don't worry. I'm cumless. So Kissinger missed the announcement that he'd been nominated for Secretary of State because he was on a date with Norwegian Oscar nominee Liv Olman. He took Candace Berg and out on a date when she was a young star. She later said that he gave her, quote, the sense of shared secrets, probably the same set he gave every anti-war actress. Like he would act like, oh, I'm really against the war.

I'm inside the administration like trying to get us out of these things, you know, with this like, yeah, he's just, he doesn't, he's, yeah, he's a psycho. Psycho. I don't know what else to say about it. Just, I mean, everybody's completely, every thing we've heard is completely concentrated. Yeah, he's the fucking devil. Yeah. Yeah, it's just, psychotic. But also, you have to create it.

Like, I don't think Candace Bergen is lying. I can imagine how you're not privy at that point in time to any of what we have, right? To any of this information we have about how much he was planning this, about what a two-faced liar he was. So maybe you believe, yeah, this man is so intelligent and is so emotionally competent. I can't imagine him being the architect of these war crimes.

He must be just, it's such a titanic system of evil and he's fighting alone to bring it down and like it must be why Hillary Clinton still hangs around and he's like look I had nothing to do with any of that. Don't worry we'll talk about that. Oh good. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, for the press, the story was irresistible. The Dowdy Harvard professor, reborn in Hollywood as Kerry Grant with a German accent. When Marlon Brando pulled out of the New York premiere of The Godfather, its executive producer, Robert Evans, unhesitatingly called Kissinger, and Kissinger obligingly flew up despite blizzard conditions and a schedule the next day that began with an early morning

meeting with the joint chiefs of staff to discuss the mining of Haifong Harbor and ended with a secret flight to Moscow. A reporter asked, Dr. Kissinger, why are you here tonight at the Godfather premiere? Kissinger responded, I was forced by who? By Bobby, Bobby Evans. Did he make you an offer you couldn't refuse?

Yes. As they fought their way through the throng, Evans had Kissinger on one arm and Ali McGraw on the other. What in the fuck is that? I know, right? Would you have called that when we started this shit? No, it's like, you've slowed down. You've lulled us into this being okay.

Mm-hmm, because at the beginning, absolutely not. But now, I mean, imagine, honestly, like a war criminal on a red carpet going like, look, I didn't want to. Obviously, I want to stay in Soviet Nam, but Bobby called. Mm-hmm. You're no Bobby. Oh man, it's incredible. You know who else attended the premiere of The Godfather

with producer Robert Evans and Ali McGraw? I can't wait to hear. The sponsors of this show. Oh, deeply tied in. Well, of course they are, right? Like they're the kind of people who get invited to hunt children on private island reserve off the coast of Indonesia, you know? I've heard it's an archipelago.

I refuse to believe that Hollywood producer, Robert Evans did not hunt children for sport at least once. They're just no way. Yeah. Those glasses were just ghosts. He laughed like a man who has hunted the most dangerous game. Oh. Anyway, here's ads.

We're back. Now in our Cambodia episode, I mentioned, and by the way, we're done with the sex stuff. You made it through. Wow. I read my sweatpants, my sweatpants have ripped. God, get, please get back to the killer. Well, don't worry.

In our Cambodia episode, I mentioned that the illegal bombing of Cambodia was leaked to the New York Times. And this was a big story, and it prompted Nixon to suspect that Kissinger's liberal staffers had been the ones who had done the leaking. And so after this gets leaked, Kissinger and Nixon worked together to orchestrate a wiretapping program. While Kissinger initially ran the whole program, he was actually in charge for only like a day. Nixon decided pretty quickly that he didn't trust Kissinger after ran the whole program. He was actually in charge for only like a day.

Nixon decided pretty quickly that he didn't trust Kissinger after all, namely because Herbert Hoover expected that Kissinger was the one leaking things. And this is because Kissinger absolutely was leaking. Now, he was not leaking the bombing of Cambodia, right? But Kissinger had his favorite journalists that he'd leak things to. Some of them were guys he wanted to write a book about him, and so he wanted them to give him positive coverage. Some of them were leaks in order to hurt other people in the administration,

because it's just, it's Nixon's, we're not getting into this enough, but Nixon's administration is just like an endless series of power struggles. Everyone is fucking over everybody else, right? Like that's the Nixon administration. Right. That's incredible.

Yeah, it's really quite a tale. So yeah, Kissinger's absolutely leaking some stuff. And that said, Nixon is pretty aware of who Kissinger is leaking things to. And as Walter Isaacson writes, the real reason why he pulled Henry from overseeing the program was that the two were having one of their periodic feuds. Nixon actually made the call to pull Kissinger from the wiretapping program right before he flew to Camp David

and like stopped returning Kissinger's phone calls for a week. It's this thing that it was like, it's like fucking 19 year olds fighting. It's very similar. They should not hear. Yeah. They literally had just little tips.

Yeah, they had little tips. You know, they got this. They should have no voice mail. Put them to voice mail. There's so much petty bullshit between Kissinger and Nixon. And they're very much like, if you've ever been in a codependent relationship, the Kissinger and Nixon will seem extremely familiar because they'll be fighting over some

stupid bullshit and then things will get bad and they'll come together and be like all collapsing at the same time as they're propping each other up. It's very funny. I got the millions die, but I'm sorry that I said that to you earlier. Well, I've been waiting for your apology. I can't stay mad at you. Well, I bought Cambodia with. Look, we have too many people to kill to stay mad at each other for this long. So get over here, you piece of shit. Despite Kissinger Nixon periodically being angry with him throughout the duration of the wiretapping program, Henry Kissinger retained the ability to pretty much wiretapped American

citizens at command. He would submit names to the FBI who would start a wiretapped on that person. When the secret wiretapping program was leaked in 1973 and blew up into a big congressional inquiry, Nixon took the blame. The secret wiretapping program was leaked in 1973 and blew up into a big congressional inquiry. Nixon took the blame, defending Kissinger by saying it was his responsibility not to control the program, but solely to furnish information to the FBI. So what they claimed is like Kissinger was an ordering wiretaps. He was giving it the FBI information on people we thought were suspicious, and they would

decide to wiretape. And it's a coincidence that all he would do was hand them a name and they would immediately start the wiretap. Right. So he would give the garment to the bloodhound, but he would exactly. But he's not hunting the child. He's not looking for him on GoFree.

So it's also though, this might be the moment that proves Dick Nixon was actually a better person than Henry Kissinger. Oh my God. Oh my God. Because he did kind of take a hit for his team. Not that he wasn't responsible for the wiretapping. The role of our business.

He really wants to. And the land of no respect, a man with one outs has at all. It was like a tiny, tiny dollop, if you will, of honor for Henry Kissinger. Yeah. And we just never see that or from, from Nixon. And we just never see that or from Nixon. Yeah. And we just never see that from Kissinger. It's kind of like saying that like a cheese grater is better to fuck than the blade of a

jigsaw, but you know, it's something. Well, that one, that got really, I mean, well, no, that, now that I think about it, I mean, if someone laid it on the table, you have to hit, right? Yeah. Well, I mean, that cheese grater here. That's great. This cheese. What do we say? I'm going to drop it. Let's get great. So here's how the secret wiretapping program worked. Kissinger and another Nixon dude, I think it was Hallerman, would submit names to the FBI, which the FBI viewed as requests, right? The transcripts of that person's conversations,

then would all be sent to Kissinger's death desk. So he got direct transcripts of every wiretapped personally. And he would decide what to bring to Nixon. He wasn't the only guy, because again, Nixon had multiple people kind of competing through this program, right? Right, he's like the head writer. Yeah, yeah, exactly.

So James Adams, head of the FBI's intelligence division, later told a biography that he did not think there was quote more or less wiretapping under Nixon then under previous presidents What made things unusual then was that the wiretaps Nixon and Kissinger ordered were on in SC staff Individuals that were part of the White House family and I say words right quote in other words previous wiretaps had mainly been Unsuspected spies, potentially subversive union leaders in the like. A regular program of wiretapping one's own AIDS

was according to Thomas Smith, another top FBI official, unprecedented. Oh my God. It's amazing. And like, that's what's amazing, right? It's like, well, no,

it's not unusual that's for this many wiretaps. It's just normally on people that you're worried about attacking the country, not people who you've hired. The FBI is like, you know, we're okay with spying on dissidents, but they made a spy on their friends and we feel gross about this. Did you see Henry Kissinger's wiretapping Nixon? Yeah, he's getting very canny.

Kissinger is just asked for why are tap on himself? You were joking but you have accurately predicted where the story goes Such a weird chapter of American I'm a weird chapter of American politics. I'm not as bad as I could throw myself. Oh my God, I am such a fucking asshole. Look at what I was saying. Oh my God. So these wiretaps were all considered legal at the time.

Although the Supreme Court did later determine that they were illegal, it was kind of like one of these at the time they were legal and because of how gross they were, the Supreme Court was like, you know what? No. And thankfully, the US never, never wiretapped people again. That's the end of it. That's the end of it. Mm-hmm. Famously. That's why Edward Snowden is famous for his reveal that no one was ever wiretapped again. That's why we don't know who Edward Snowden is. Yes. Famous,

private citizen living in Ohio. Edward Snowden, all the name out of the air. Random guy. So a tremendous amount has been written on the subject of the wiretapping in the Nixon administration. I'm not going to go too into detail on it because as sleazy as it is, wiretapping your friends doesn't quite measure up to war crimes, like it's gross, but it's also not that gross and complex. It's just like weird. and quite measure up to war crimes. Like it's gross, but it's also not that gross and consentsian.

It's just like weird. It's a weird thing about them. There is something I should read here that reveals something meaningful about Henry's character. William Sapphire was a New York Times op-ed columnist and a Nixon speech writer. He later said that Kissinger was, quote, capable of getting a special thrill

out of working most closely with those he's spied on the most. So like, sapphire's attitude is like, he was doing this mainly because he thought it was like, kind of hot to be wiretapping a guy that he was working in the New York. This is how we're doing. Yeah. Finally.

It's the power thing. It's the power thing. Yeah. He knows he loves that he's like fucking over someone. He's just hanging out with and talking to him. They don't know. It's the power thing. Yeah, he knows he loves that he's like fucking over someone he's just hanging out with and talking to and they don't know he's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's crazy thrill out of it. Yeah, he does secrets about them like, oh god, it's so fucking weird going to Lido top that does. So he gets like that quote from Kissinger powers the ultimate

effort easy act. It's usually translated to him being like, that's why women are so into me, right? Because power turns people on. But I think it literally means that like, it gets off on an exercising power, right? Like that's his thing. Oh my God. I can even fuck my friends over. It is also worth noting that Henry wire tapped himself. Once he took office, he had a secretary.

I was kidding. I know, I know, but it happened. No, but... Once he took office, he had a secretary listen in on all of his calls and take memo notes on his conversations. He also had a series of what are called dead key extensions added to phones. These are keys that were secretly added to phones in his office so that his secretaries and aides could like press them to listen in on calls without other people knowing and take

notes on the calls. When Nixon would call Kissinger drunk slurring his words, Kissinger would like wave all of his people, he'd like, get in there, get in there, get in there, like pick up the phone, pick up the phone. It's like a ghost. Oh my gosh. We got the one. all of his people get in there get in there get in there like pick up the phone pick up the phone like a good one and then he would make faces making fun of the president while his notes is like ains listen to it okay I mean just okay just take it sleep I'm I'm I'm cool the thing about it now take a step back and realize that Henry Kissinger is making fun of the wiretape he's called on

himself while he's talking to the president who's black out drunk. It's something else. While a war is happening. Not to minimize how fucked up, you know, the current administration to the previous administration was, but by God, America still has not reached the Nixon peak of craziness. We've gotten it in like pieces, but it'll never had the fun in there. Like, it never had like the full team together. Yeah, you can't, it's really hard to compete with Dick Nixon and Henry Kissinger.

And I mean, I talk about it ahead of his time. Oh my God. His stuff ages great. Oh man. So Kissinger also used the transcripts he made to attack his co-workers and reinforce his loyalty to the president. When his colleague said something to him

that he knew Nixon would hate, or when someone made a comment agreeing with Kissinger on an issue, he would pass those notes from his secret conversations onto the president. So he would hand the president like a transcript of a call he'd had with like a thing underlined and made Kissinger look good Oh my god

From Kissinger a biography quote William Sapphire who dubbed the transcripts the dead key scrolls said he once saw Kissinger Altaring one to shore up a point he wanted to make to the President He had been chewing out a reporter from the Christian science monitor for writing a story that was unfavorable to Nixon. In doing so, he also tossed in occasional complaints about the perfidy of Secretary Rogers. Since he was planning to send the transcript to the president, Sapphire said, he had taken a draft and edited it,

adding to the fierce loyalty of his own remarks. So he would like market up to make him like be more of a kiss ass to kick to Nixon. I mean, fucking incredible. I know. Nixon's also like hammered. It's like, how hard do you have to work to like convince this guy? You know. I mean, I know. Nixon's also like hammered. It's like, how hard do you have to work to like convince this guy?

You know what I mean? Yeah, hand him a my tie. Like it's easy. Here you go. This is from Trader Vicks. Like, you're my best friend. Well, I love you, Henry. I've never had a closer friend than you, Hank.

Look at how much of your page I am. There you are. Love it. The existence of these transcripts was revealed by the Washington Post in 1971, but Kissinger insisted they were just for the president's files. In reality, he used them as notes to write his two books that he published after leaving power. But he was cany enough to know they had damning information.

So when he considered quitting the Nixon administration in 1973, he had them all shipped to a bombshelter at Nelson Rockefeller's private bomb shelter it's just like I'm feeling like Rockefeller may I use your bomb shelter for storage I need to put my biography notes there of course of course and right that's you know what I always say my Bob shelters yours these are these are what short stories, right? Yes. Sure. Yeah. Whatever you need to tell yourself I need I need them safe in case there's a nuclear war So obviously this is very illegal and when Kissinger decided not to quit the administration He had a military liaison send a plane to pick them up from Rockefeller's house

And then he hit them in a bomb shelter under the White House. Oh to pick them up from Rockefeller's house. And then he hid them in a bomb shelter under the White House. Oh, after he left up. Fuck. No, there's no rules for these people. Yeah. They're fucking notes.

They don't need to survive the fucking nuclear holocaust. How great though if a bomb is incoming towards the White House and they all go there and it's just stacked with Kissinger papers. Yeah. Well, this guy was a real piece of shit. This is is awkward. I think we're all going to the finish.

Yeah, he's just sitting in the corner. I don't think you should read those. So after he left office, Kissinger donated the papers to the Library of Congress under the restriction that they would not be made available until he had been dead for five years. Well, he's been dead for five years until he had been dead for five years. Well, he's been dead for five years. Yeah, we should be on the radar now.

Who makes that deal? It's not a great thing. The Library of Congress. Oh, Jesus Christ. Oh, by the way, most people, most people do like the after-eye die. He wants the five-year buffer, which sounds a little bit new to me. Yeah. He wants time for people buffer, which sounds a little bit. Yeah. Yeah.

He wants time for people to get things out of the country. I want to make sure I'm pure bone. So Kissinger was also convinced that Nixon's chief of staff, Holdaman had Nixon wiretapped and Nixon. Sorry. Kissinger was also convinced that Nixon's chief of staff, Holdaman and Nixon, like, had wiretapped him, which they absolutely had. So Kissinger was kind convinced that Nixon's chief of staff, Holderman and Nixon had like, had wiretapped him, which they absolutely had.

So Kissinger was kind of tapping himself, but Nixon had also wiretapped Kissinger. And when he passed Holderman in the hall, Kissinger would say, quote, what do your tops tell you about me today? Oh, it's almost, you remember that? What was it?

I don't remember what it was on where Lily Tomlin was the one ringy dinghy operator who keeps plugging in on it. It's almost like that with wiretaps where you're just like every wire is getting plugged and crossed. Nixon's wiretapping Kissinger, who's wiretapping himself, who's wiretapping Nixon, who's also wiretapping Holderman, who's wiretapping Kissinger, who's also wiretapping Nixon. And that's why we know so much about not just like the crimes they committed, but like what they were saying in the meetings while they committed the crimes. Because unbeknownst to Kissinger and to everyone else, Nixon was also wiretapping himself.

Like he reported every conversation that he had in the Oval Office. It was a secret. It was the most, that to me is like one of the most, I mean, it's why we know so much because you are able to like, if Trump or, I mean, if any of them, I mean, it's why we know so much because you are able to like, if Trump or, I mean, if any of them, I mean, if you had the bush tapes, like they would be fucking incredible.

But it's also that Nixon recorded himself, and it was like, okay, take him. And everyone's like, the fuck, are you drunk? And he's like, I am actually, I am extreme, I am so drunk, my secretary of defense has a contingency plan. In case I tried to nuke every what Checkers never been that drunk. No one has So this was a secret until the Watergate scandal was really field at the end of 1972

Kissinger was warned about this that like the Watergate story was about to break two months ahead of time And he was horrified by the implications, namely by the fact by the things we've already gone over at length, that he had, like, he was on tape in these records, agreeing and encouraging with Nixon's bigotry and his copious racial slurs. So, Kissinger is not involved in Watergate, so he's like, I'm not worried about that. I'm worried that everyone's going to know that I was like, egging Nixon's bigotry on in order to kiss his ass. Yeah.

Amazing, amazing for him to be horrified. Like, of all the things he's done, like, for this to be like, it's always like the weirdest thing, but it's like, for him to be like, this could really damage my credibility. It's like people like face poorly of me. Yeah. When he was asked about this later, image microdability. It's like people like face poorly of me.

When he was asked about this later, about like encouraging Nixon's bigotry, Kissinger explained that the things he'd said to Nixon were based on, quote, the needs of the moment, rather than to, quote, stand the test of deferred scrutiny, which was a nice way of saying, I'm only racist around racists. In one of the most impressive feats of mental gymnastics in political history, Kissinger actually argued that his egging Nixon on was meant to protect the American people. Quote, he was so much in need of soccer, so totally alone, our national security depended so much on his functioning.

Uh, it's called yes and okay. He was Chicago school. It's called yes and okay. He was Chicago school. It's called the Improven Olympic. I mean, again, to be able to get away with that argument, it just should not be allowed. Now speaking of Nixon's functioning, it's probably time to talk a little more about Watergate. As previously covered in 1971, Nixon and his team, including Kissinger, hired a Goon squad of X FBI and CIA agents called the Plummers and asked them

to investigate the leak of the Pentagon papers. These guys broken to the office of Daniel Ellsberg, that's the guy who leaked the Pentagon papers. He was a Department of Defense employee. They break into the office of his psychiatrist to try and steal records to smear him. In 1972, one of the plumbers, G Gordon Litty, was transferred to the committee to re-elect the president. The acronym of this organization was literally creeped because satire has never happened even once. Like, it's impossible.

No, it's over. It's over. Litty's team executed a white-raged plan to illegally spy on the Democratic party, which ended with them breaking into DNC headquarters in the Watergate building in DC and bugging the phones of staffers. They got arrested almost immediately, like that night they get busted, right? That's like when this all starts. And so that's what like the fact that this, like the Watergate scandal and public knowledge

starts is like these guys getting arrested doing a break and keys a crime reporter named Bob Woodward and on the case, he was not a political journalist, he was like a crime beat DC reporter, but he hears about this break and he's like, something's fucking going on here. And he winds up making, you know, contacts with a guy who we later, eventually like decades later learned was the associate director of the FBI. That's deep throat, you know, famously. This guy gives him information. And the Washington Post under Woodward and Bernstein, right? He has a partner in it too. Like they're both doing very good journalism here. They start dropping articles at the tail end of 1972 and a trial over

the break in starts in 1973 January right after Nixon wins reelection. While Woodward and his partner Carl Bernstein, were running down leads. They got in touch with another FBI guy and asked him, Hey, who kept authorizing all of these wiretaps? That FBI guy said, Well, Henry Kissinger. In a lot of cases, this Kissinger, he's like our main guy calling us. So Woodward calls Henry Kissinger, who plays dumb at first and then tries to blame Holdamen for the wiretapping. Woodward asked, okay, well is it possible you were the one doing wiretapping Henry? And Kissinger says, I don't believe it was true.

Woodward asked. What? Yeah, it's such a wheeze of answer. Yeah, he's four years old. Woodward asks, is that a denial? And Kissinger responds, I frankly don't remember. I mean, it's kind of like, and it's it is kind of like nice to see the Genesis because the I don't remember thing

is just utilized so much now. Yeah, it's like, one of the first like where you're just like, I think if I just say I forgot, I can go the way with this shit. Yeah, you can imagine a young Bill Clinton reading this new story and saying I'm not sure why but I think I'm gonna take notes on this I remember Jack you let him but I don't remember how that come to me It's also it shows you like how insulated they were in their psychotic little dome That once they actually take their tactics out in the real world, people like,

yeah, that's like crime and we have you. They're like, oh shit. Oh fuck. What's it? Fuck. The president's drunk. So Kissinger admitted after that line of questioning that he might have given the FBI the names of some people who had access to leaked documents and quote, it's quite possible they can strew this as an authorization. So once he makes this admission to Woodward,

Henry starts to get looser and he talks about how he figured he probably should take responsibility for the wiretapping and then he realized almost immediately, like, oh shit, I fucked up and he asks Bob Woodward, you aren't quoting me, right? Like he's like, this isn't on the record, is it? That's, so Woodward works too, right? You put it on the record and then you're like,

that's not the record, right? Woodward says, of course this is on the record. Like what the fuck, like I never said, this was off the record. What's wrong with you? Yeah. Christian, you're insistent. Well, I was only speaking on background.

Quote, I've tried to be honest and now you're going to penalize me in five years in Washington. I've never been trapped into talking like this. If a journalist calls you and asks you questions as the secretary of state, you're calling us BFF right? Yeah, you just wanted a chat, right? And as far as you're just going to chew the feth for all I thought, how are you? What crimes have you committed, Bump?

Yeah, it's fascinating. It's so dumb. It's so fucking dumb. And it shows what fucking tame little pricks, the entirety of the White House press corps were, right? Because Kisadger thought he could get away with this. And he finally encountered like an actual journalist for the whats, right?

And just like 30 seconds with Woodward and he's blown wide open. And he's not handling it. Yeah, he's just pissing his pants cry. You know what it is? You've seen those videos of like those fucking those Tai Chi champions who are like in those videos fighting their students where they're just like flipping everyone around the room, throwing them, and then like they fight an actual MMA fighter who just like takes them down in 13 seconds. Yeah.

Yeah. It's like how Segal fights where it is. Yeah, it's it's Stephen Segal. They say Putin's judo. Yeah. It is, this is the moment for Kissinger. That's like when, when Stephen Segal got choked out by Jean Lebel and Shadis Père. All right.

I'm the star. I just think this could happen. Come on, no. We'll play fake. Next, from Kissinger, a biography, quote, Woodward wondered what kind of treatment Kissinger was accustomed to getting from the press. He consulted Murray Martyr, the kindly soft-edged diplomatic reporter who covered Kissinger for the post. Well, Martyr admitted, Henry was regularly allowed to put statements on background after he had made them.

I mean, it really does, and what's so frustrating is that it's like, you know, they've all kind of learned from the mistakes of this time in ways where it is, it's kind of the same shit. I mean, everything is kind of a fluff piece. You're allowed to be in the White House press corps if you ask softball questions. You know, it like this, this was like a major fuck up and they all were like, well, the lesson we've learned here is don't let good reporters around you. Yeah, so much journalists exist. Yeah. It's one of those, um, there's so much going on here.

It really is. This is like, we are peaking. There are ways in which like, there are times when journalism does work that way, right? When I am like sitting down and talking to like a fucking dissident or a protestor, someone who like might be targeted by the state or by, you know by fucking fascist or whatever and murdered. And they say something and then later, like, oh, can I take that off the record? I'm worried that's gonna review me.

Yeah, of course. I'm not gonna lie. But it should never work that way for cabinet level fucking government officials. Right. They can, if you agree ahead of time to make something off the record. Yeah, that that happens That's like a thing that occurs, although I think that's problematic too

But like they don't get to just take something off the record retroactively. That's not how it works. Yeah All the care about his access so they don't talk about the actual story. They just want to talk them again Yeah, they want to keep getting access. It is it's like it needs to be a Group of people need to say that this is all fuck, but instead they're like, oh, what a great cop, a whole party. And woodward to his credit, there's critiques to make about woodward later in his career, but to his credit, woodward is like, I don't give a shit about access. I'm trying to take down a president.

It's like, I could give a fuck. Yeah. Like, the software, you know? Yeah. Um, so Nixon eventually took the fall as we've covered, but the issue was brought up again in 1973. When Kissinger went through his confirmation hearings to become Secretary of State, we don't need to cover the politicking he did to secure that job, but I should note all the fallout over wiretapping and that

his asterine Cambodia didn't do shit to reduce Henry's popularity at home. In 1972, he had ranked fourth on the list of most admired Americans. In 1973, he was number one, largely because Harry Truman died, which is also pretty bleak. Oh, what the fuck. Oh, yeah, baby. We are. I mean, and that's when you're like, we deserve it. I mean, if you are that incapable of deciphering reality from fiction, to some extent, you

want to be taken advantage of. Yeah. Yeah. You're the room who opens the door to the vacuum cleaner salesman. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, I've brought some dirt on my floor. I want to see how this thing sucks.

You need my social security number of course. Okay, and you promise I get $500,000 in the mail. Okay. So one congressman that proposed a constitutional amendment to allow foreign-born citizens to run for president because of like how much he liked fucking Kissinger. I don't like him. Henry, yeah, Henry received a figure at Madam to Sawd's Wax Museum in London, which quickly became the

star attraction. Miss Universe pageant contestants voted him, put, the greatest person in the world today. Is it possible that we just put a heart in the Madame Tussaud's figure and melted it and that's what's walking around now? Yeah, that's... But this is... We just left it in the sun for a week. Like you bring up the media, but this is just so like they just normalize monsters.

They act like monsters are great people. Yeah. And people don't actually hear the fucking heinous shit that they're doing. No. And they just hear he's a smart guy, but it's because that's what matters. He can like quote smart dead people that they, you haven't read, but you know, they're smart because their name sounds vaguely familiar. And so you're like, well, this guy's read all these smart dudes.

He must be a good guy, because smart people don't do bad thing. Well, and smart people don't like go out with reporters. And you know, just be like, look at Frankenstein at the Playboy Mansion. God, he's got those bolts on his neck and the girls love to twirl. So it is perhaps not surprising, even though the Watergate scandal had built to a fever pitch by 73 that Henry Kissinger was a shoe in to be appointed as Secretary of State.

On the day of his first congressional confirmation hearings, someone in the press asked, do you prefer to be called Mr. Secretary or Doctor Secretary? He replied, I do not stand on protocol. If you just call me Excellency, it will be okay. Excuse me. Pardon? And again, as a journalist, the proper response to that is to throw your handheld recorder at his face.

Try to take a chair to his nose like they did to Geraldo. Yeah, right? Yeah. Break his face. Oh, I'm not talking about title. You can just bow and call me on Majesty. So Kissinger was extremely nervous going into the confirmation hearings, because again, Nixon is being torn apart for Watergate right now.

And he was expecting that he'd be interrogated about all the shady wiretapping he'd done. Sure. it turned out all he had to do was lie and say he'd never recommended wiretapping everyone decided that was fine and he was confirmed a secretary of state 78 votes to 77. Oh, and here's the thing even among the people who voted against him there was not always strong antipathy. George McGovern voted against confirming him but he called Kissinger afterwards to privately endorse him. To be like, hey, publicly, I gotta pretend I don't like you,

but like, ooh, right, bro. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, might have happened. Yeah, probably. So when he was sworn in on September 21st, 1973, a family friend presented Kissinger with a copy of the old testament that had been published in Firth in 1801 for him to be sworn in on, Kissinger decided instead to use Nixon's copy of the King James Bible. Uh, they just opened it. It's a bottle of bourbon. Oh, sorry. It's actually a bottle of liquid. Let's use that. Let's use that. Let's use that. Let's use that first one. So a last for Dick Nixon, 74 was an even worse year for him than 73 had been in July of that year. Three Southern Democrats on the House Judiciary Committee announced that they were voting to impeach him on August 5th. A transcript of taped conversations between him and Haldeman

was released, which proved his involvement in the cover-up of the Watergate break and proved he'd lied under oath. This was the nail in the coffin. On August 7, Barry Goldwater told Nixon he would not survive an impeachment vote. Nixon had already made the decision to leave. He met with Jerry Ford, his vice president, and told him that he was about to be president. He urged Ford to keep Kissinger on as his secretary of state. Then Nixon made his big announcement to the American people. Next, from history.com, after the speech, Kissinger accompanied Nixon to his living quarters one last time.

History is going to be a call that you were a great president. Kissinger assured Nixon. Henry, the president said that will depend on who writes the history. You imagine a wasted Nixon should Gerald Ford around like, so this is the vodka. You put that in your weedies in the morning. This is pineapple. He said, he doesn't cottage cheese every day.

Now, here's a Jack Nixon secret. If you pour a little diet coke in the bourbon, they can't tell you're getting drunk at night in the morning. I'm when you confuse just nod What do you think up in the toilet say something disagreed with you and it's diarrhea the secret service agents have to let you puke down There sleeves that's what I've been doing This is the vodka room and this is the vodka room and this is the vodka room This drawer here's this drawer here's for letters and things like stamps like that And this is the drawer you can puke in but just bend over pretend you're looking for something

I'm gonna be honest. I've been shitting in the fireplace a lot It's hard to find the bathroom when you're turned in the oval look look if you're worried just lift this cushion up This chair is actually a toilet with wheels. It's behind the desk. Trying to think what else. These are laws you can wipe your ass with them. By the way, this is all being recorded. Everything is. This chest here is actually a tape recorder. Kiss ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Yeah, we have we're not gonna talk about this in a lot of detail because we have gone in a detail on The Kuwaginstein end day in both our episodes on the Dolas brothers end of the School of the Americas It's just like not this is the thing to like cut out of our Kissinger story because we've covered it a lot before But I will give an overview of Kissinger's involvement for the listeners who maybe aren't familiar Robert

Yeah, I know we are all on the same page Your aren't familiar Robert. I know we are all on the same page. Your deris or whatever. Salvador Iende was a socialist e-dude who was elected in 1970, like all kind of socialists, the US overthrows. He was not nearly as radical as they pretended he was, but he was like solidly left-wing. The US backed a military coup that overthrew him in 1973. Iende committed suicide and was replaced by general Augusto Pinochet, who tortured and murdered tens of thousands of people over the next 17 years.

So I'm going to be brief here and I'm going to read a summary of Kissinger's role in that kerfuffle from the transnational institute. Less than a week after Nixon received the disappointing news about the presidential vote, he decided to ennull the Chilean vote. A quote, widely attributed to Secretary of State Henry Kissinger, explained Nixon's morality. I don't see why we need to stand by and watch a country go communist due to the irresponsibility of its people. The issues are much too important for the Chilean voters to be left to

decide for themselves. I mean, like you are, you need to be like so far gone. Yeah, You need to be so far gone, you'd be comfortable speaking in that way. Yeah, yeah, that's ghoulishly evil. I mean, it's just like you could come up with a version of that that would also probably sound effective, but to basically be like, look, the people have fucked up voting.

They've wrongly voted. Oopsie, oopsie. Let's just, we'll do it for him. We'll take care of this for him. Again, United States policy pretty much, you know. All the time in perpetuity. Yeah, and it's good. Yeah.

And after the bloody coup that Kissinger and Nixon endorsed, Kissinger pushed to recognize Pinochet's coup government and offered economic aid. He pressured international lending organizations to lend money to the Nutri-Lay in government. Yeah, he sucks. This is a bad thing that he did. You can hear a lot more about it. Honestly, Kissinger was involved, but like the Dolas brothers were a much bigger part of this specific thing.

So check that out in our Dolas brothers episode. All this with Raquel well john is arm ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Yeah, his wife is like more hardcore right wing than he is come to bed Tell me about how you ignored the will of the Chilean voters So I don't know much about the working relationship Henry had with Jerry Ford Honestly, like they didn't spend a lot of time together. We're not gonna delve super deep into it There were like too much to talk about still There is one thing I want to note about his relationship with Nixon. Like for the first several years that he's working with Nixon, he's desperate to go to Camp David anytime the president invites him, he's excited to go.

But then when the Watergate thing is going on and Nixon feels isolated and alone, Kistinger spends like the whole Watergate hearing time jetting around the Middle East and stuff doing diplomacy. Right. And Nixon begs him like, do you want to come hang out and come David with me? like the whole Watergate hearing time, jetting around the Middle East and stuff, doing diplomacy, right? And it's in Beggs and like, do you wanna come hang out, or come David with me? And Henry's like, oh buddy, I'd love to,

but you know, I just got so much worse. I'm swamped over here with stuff, you know, it's like, it's such a worm. It's such a worm, man. Good. It's amazing that there's a moment at this where you like, oh man, Dick, he did you dirty. Yeah, you were such a good friend to him.

A little bit of sympathy for him. Yeah. Do you want to come to summer camp David with me? I can't. I can really use a friend. I broke my arm. I can't get any merit badges or anything to someone. My mom said so.

Oh man, it's amazing. So yeah, there's so much to talk about. I will tell you, I will note that one of the first things that Henry did as Secretary of State for President Ford was to deliberately enable another genocide, which put him just one genocide away from earning a free coffee at the Pentagon Starbucks. Oh my gosh. So close. I know.

He'll get his old keys close. He's close. He's close. Oh, we're gonna talk about that. But you know, we got to talk about right now. Hmm products and services that support this podcast. Finally. Hey, including Starbucks. Commit five genocides and Starbucks will fund a six that reduces the price of coffee beans. Make sure it's a venti oh we're back so in nineteen sixty nine the u.s. conspired with the indonesian dictator suharto to encourage the illegal annexation of west pop up through what was called the act of free choice this was a shameless propaganda exercise which allowed the united states

to pretend democracy rarar, you get the idea. Behind the scenes support by the US at the UN allowed Suharto to solidify his control on West Papa. This led to four decades of genocidal policies, which have killed huge numbers of the pop-win population. Six years later, Suharto had another fun idea. East to Moor was nearby, and near the end of a 27-year-long process of being decolonized by Portugal.

Having just been ruled pretty brutally in the name of capital, you won't be surprised to hear that the East Timorese people were somewhat sympathetic towards socialism. The leftist Freitlun, Fredelun party, began to gain ground as freedom grew near. In 1975, it had a brief civil war with a much smaller right-wing pro-Indonesian party. This freaked out Portugal, who pulled their last people out of the country during the fighting. Seeing the territory abandoned, General Suharto felt he had an opportunity. He and others in the Indonesian military began to complain to the Americans that East Timor might be used as a base for dastardly communists to inspire

secessionist movements in Indonesia. Over in, yeah, it's just like, you know, East Timor seems like it's going to be really bad. We're going to kill them. We got to get rid of them. I like the sound of this. Over in East Timor, Franklin, the Socialist party recognized the fact that they were in danger. They had their, oh, we're in danger moment. Yeah.

And they declared their independence on November 28th, 1975, so they could ask for help from the United Nations. Everyone ignored them. Japan, a major investor in Indonesia, twiddled her thumbs. Australia looked away. This left the United States as the only power that could potentially stop Indonesia from invading. Oh, does it more?

Does it, do we do it? What? Yeah, we do it? What? Yeah, we did it. Everything's good now. They're doing great. They're flying cars. Yeah, how many times do we have to be the heroes?

Yeah. Another job will done for the United States. On December 6, 1975, on the eve of the planned invasion, Gerald Ford and Henry Kissinger flew to Jakarta to meet with Suharto. The very next day, Indonesian land air-enabled forces invaded. The timing is predominant enough that people have debated ever since, whether or not Kissinger and Ford gave Suharto the green light here too. From a right up in the nation. Kissinger, who does not find room to mention East to more, even in the index of his three-volume memoir, has more than once stated that the invasion came to him as a surprise, and that he barely knew of the existence of the Timurese question.

He was obviously lying, but the breathtaking extent of his mendacity has only just become fully apparent, with the declassification of a secret State Department telegram. The document, which has been made public by the National Security Archive at George Washington University, contains a verbatim record of the conversation among Suharto, Ford and Kissinger. We want your understanding if we deem it necessary to take rapid or drastic action, Suharto, open bluntly, we will understand and will not press you on the issue, Ford responded. We understand the problem that you have and the intentions you have. Kissinger was even more emphatic, but had an awareness of the possible spin problems back home. It is important that whatever you do

succeeds quickly, he instructed the despot. We would be able to influence the reaction if whatever happens happens after we return. If you have made plans, we will do our best to keep everyone quiet until the president returns home. Micro-managing things for Suharto, he added, the president will be back on Monday at 2 p.m. Jakarta time. We understand your problem and then need to move quickly, but I am

only saying it would be better if it were done after we returned. What is case scenario? I'll just say I never said this and nobody will ever have a transcript of this or anything. I mean to be scheduling it like a like a golf day. Can you crack down on the independence and freedom of these people and engage in a general set of war like once we're back. There's a lot going on. Two, three, forty five or like four on Monday would be great. Tuesday, if you can, way would be unbelievable. Yeah, Tuesday would really help it.

Like that's a lot of time. Yeah, I thought it was a workout. That's right. Yeah, there's a lot of US fuckery in fucking Indonesia. So I'm not going to hear this gentlemen. That's enough of that talk, please. The greatest country on earth. You do have that giant Indonesia in the United States shaking hands over a burning East

Timor tattoo over your heart. Well, I would hate for that. That's speculation. And please cut that out. So if we can make a note that that should not be included in the episode, it seems a little incriminating. So Suharto's troops, when they invaded East Timor, which they did were equipped with the finest US made weaponry

under the Foreign Assistance Act. Such material could only be provided to nations who would use it exclusively for self-defense. When this was brought up to Suharto, and when this was brought up to Kissinger, and he was asked whether or not selling arms to Suharto had violated the act, Kissinger responded, it depends on how we can strew it, whether it is in self-defense or it is a foreign operation. Back in DC, on December 18th, and a meeting whose minutes are now to classified, Kissinger

admitted that he knew that he and the United States were violating the statute from the nation. And even more sinister note was struck later in the conversation when Kissinger asked Suharto if he expected a long guerrilla war, the dictator replied that there will probably be a small guerrilla war while making no promise about its duration. Bear in mind that Kissinger has already urged speech and disbatch and disbatch upon Suharto. Adam Malik, Indonesia's prime minister at the time, later conceded in public that between 50,000 and 80,000

temporary civilians were killed in the first 18 months of the occupation. These civilians were killed with American weapons, which Kissinger contrived to supply over congressional protests, and their murders were covered up by American diplomacy. So, I mean, we did it again.

We did it again, guys. It really is like a serial killer who just gets very comfortable with killing, gets kind of cocky about it, starts leaving clues, but in this case, there's no cops chasing anyone. There's nobody who's really trying to solve the case. It's like if the uniformer left his name on every package.

Yeah. And then he was like, this is okay. A return address. Yeah. Ted Kaczynski, Shaq 9. Roughly 300,000 East Timmeries civilians, roughly half the population were forced out of their homes

and into camps during the fighting. By 1980, the death toll was at least 100,000 and possibly as high as 230,000. Thomas Meeney, writing in the New Yorker, has tried to make sense of this all. Kissinger's sign-off on the Indonesian President Suharto's genocidal campaign in East Timor, was meant to signal that America would unquestioningly reward those who had decimated communists within their reach. In retrospect, the notion that everything America did would be duly registered and responded to by its opponents and friends seems like an expression of geopolitical narcissism.

At the time, the 33-year-old Senator Joe Biden accused Kissinger at a Senate hearing of trying to promulgate a global Monroe doctrine. The Kissinger is that guy to where repeatedly terrible people will be like, well, you're in the right here, but only because you're talking about him, right, Kissinger? Yeah, right. Yeah, he's like, yeah, it's like in the next episode, we're going to have a moment where the CIA is a voice of reason to give you an idea of where to go.

And how many people have to be the voice of reason? I mean, it just is like, he's like cocky. I mean, it's just, it just, no shit's given. At this point to have no, I mean, it's not like he's had a soul throughout all of this, but you would think that once you have a soul for such a long period of time, you would start to notice the absence of a soul

and at least start to act like you had a soul. Well, good news, Gareth. Nothing like that ever happens. Oh, fucking great. Yeah, we're we're gonna have fun in episode six. But, you know, now it's time to just chill out, you know, have a drink, just a nice sip of the blood of I don't know East Timmeries dissidents and go watch the Theranos documentary. Yeah, Henry Kissinger get caught by the grifter. I mean, yeah, you need only like I forget who said it, but that's true. That's our hero. She's our hero.

That's like who was like, hey, yeah, you can do this with your blood at Walgreens because she got Henry Kissinger involved and I mean, just these and he's not, it's not like he's not a genius. There's not a lot of genius. It takes to just be awful and indiscriminate. Yeah, he's just like the best way of a worker of all time. Yeah. And here's the thing, episode six, we're going to talk about his political downfall, because he does get his comeuppance, but it's from people who suck maybe even worse, at least as bad as he does.

And so there's no satisfaction in it. Of course. And it's also like Hitler had gotten assassinated by Hitler too, who had been like, expect it. Yeah. And it's also by people who are like, they're there because of him. Like they like, he had to walk so they could. Yes. Yes. Exactly. Yes. There's someone needs to paint a picture of like Henry Kissinger, kind of on the bow of the Titanic holding up a dick chaining with arms spread wide. All that feels nice.

That feels real nice, Henry. You all saw you love your form. Let me paint you. Kissinger walked so that Donald Rubsfeld could stagger. Yes. But that's going to be part six. Till then, Dave. What?

Gareth, you got any club doubles to plug? I want to drink like Nixon. Yeah. We again, look at what capital is against us. Australia like that. Yeah, we will be invading the shores of Australia, searching for their WMDs, which we believe are North, South, East and West.

You can go to dolloppodcast.com. And I'll be also doing standup over there and you can go to garrithrenels.com for those standup dates. And we're also touring America this summer. Sorry, we're touring the best country on earth this summer. And you can go to dolloppodcast.com for all that information. Now, I should note here, y'all, that you guys have an ongoing argument over whether or not gayer is an appropriate nickname for you,

gayer. And I felt like maybe we could bring in a negotiator to help us to help us deal with this question. Get sure. So I'd like to introduce to the Paul Dr. Henry Kissinger. Oh my God. And this is, ah, I'm sorry, I said all those horrible things. Gary's a fine man, I think Gary works great, you look like a Gary a little bit.

He's got his nice shorts on. He's got those nut huggers. You can see the outline, you can see the whole bread basket. Looks like a baby bird in the nest now, but it becomes a python when water starts. They should call me Diction, they're techniques in the world. Once the bombs hit the soil, I'll rip these babies. I really hope people stop listening at this point. I stop listening and I'm talking.

All right, everybody. All right. We'll see you on Thursday. When Walter Isaacson set out to write his biography of Elon Musk, he believed he was taking on a world-changing figure. That night, he was deciding whether or not to allow Starlink to be enabled to allow a sneak attack on Crimea.

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Listen to Onmusk on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. The assassination of President John F. Kennedy is the greatest murder mystery in American history. That's Rob Breiner, Rob called me, Soledad O'Brien, and asked me what I knew about this crime. I know 60 years later, new leads are still emerging. To me an award-winning journalist, that's the making of an incredible story, and on this podcast you're going to hear it told by one of America's greatest storytellers. Well, ask who had the motive to assassinate a sitting president. My dad, 5JFK, screwed us at the Bay of Pigs, and then he screwed us after the Cuban

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We're going to debunk the myths around houselessness. We're going to remember and humanize the community who have passed by spotlighting house assistance remembrance day. More importantly, we're going to look at ways we criminalize in house. Because if you can demonize them, you can criminalize them. Unlike the mainstream media's way of speaking over at VUN house, my podcast centers their voices in the conversation. House list is not a monolith. Listen to VUN house, an I Heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you get your podcast centers their voices in the conversation. House is this is not a monolith. Listen to Weedian House, an I Heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you get your

podcast. So this is episode six, you know, we're what eight hours into talking about Mr. Kissinger. Oh my God. Yeah, we've really. I'd love to meet me from eight hours ago, buddy. It's like when Bill and Ted meet each other halfway through and they don't know the journey they're about to go upon. Yeah.

But he'd buckle up. So the things, the thing that Kissinger gets the most credit for that we haven't mentioned. We've talked about a bunch of the things that he gets credit for. It's really great. Is bringing peace to the Middle East. He does get credit for being that guy. Obviously, he did not do that. But he did play a significant role in stopping what had been a decade's long cycle of wars

between Israel and the Arab nations around it. Now to call that bringing peace would be ignoring a tremendous amount of ongoing violence against the Palestinian people. But Kissinger did help ensure that we're all these different like everyone would invade, yada yada yada, there would be a bunch of fighting. That doesn't really happen anymore. And Kissinger is part of why that doesn't happen anymore. The gist of it is that on October 6th, 1973, on Yom Kippur, Egypt and Syria launched

a coordinated assault on Israel. That for a time, threatened the state's very existence. Kissinger had not spent much of his time working on mid-east related stuff up to this point. This was partly because Nixon thought having a Jewish man negotiate with Arab countries would be a bad idea. It was also because Kissinger was kind of buried in Vietnam stuff, right? But by October of 73, negotiations with Hanoi had been concluded.

US forces had stepped back from an active role. And Kissinger had been awarded a Nobel Peace Prize with his Vietnamese counterpart VDoc Toe. Yes. Absolutely. Now, I can't, there's no counter argument. Absolutely. No, he nailed it. What? No, Nobel Peace Prize really doesn't, I mean, they must hit sometimes.

I'm just familiar with a lot of the nose though. It seems mostly to be misses in my experience. When he got that, that's called the no! Yeah. No peace press. And you know who felt that way, Gareth? Lee Duckto, who was also awarded the no-dell peace press with Kissinger.

I don't want mine. I don't want mine. Yeah. He literally was like, no, I'm not going to take it. The war isn't over yet. Like, all he's done, all we've done is negotiate the US no longer murdering people on the scale they had been.

And he's like, he's in charge of it. Yeah. And specifically, he was angry because right before the armistice was signed in order to like try and force Hanoi to agree on some points, Kisenture orchestrated a massive nighttime bombing campaign on Christmas of Hanoi. They didn't bomb on Christmas day, just the day before and a bunch of the days after, but it gets called the Christmas bombing. We're worried we'll hit Santa. I'm, I don't know, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I like, I'm not gonna take it a word for peace with this guy. Fuck him.

Yeah. So Kissinger accepted it alone. Oh my God. Ah. Ah. Oh my God. He's such a cool dude. He's such a cool dude.

Ah. Wow. More credit for me. I can't believe I'm the only one who got it this year. I must be really good at this stuff. So yeah, he's like the con way, Kanye of the Nobel Peace Prize. Yeah, right. Sorry, you did great, but Kissinger had the best war of all time of all time. It would have been really funny if Henry Kissinger had

like shoved Taylor Swift off stage. You are the great war. You didn't great with peace, but come on. They're talking about the gold here, baby. So by October of 73, Kissinger is free and clear and ready to get it on in the Middle East. And this actually went better than you might think. Weirdly enough, Henry Kissinger was probably one of the fairest negotiators the United States ever sent into that conflict. In fact, he was more or less in constant tension with Israel because he would do stuff like try to halt arms shipments there. Like during the Omkippur war, right?

Israel's on a back foot. They're in real danger of being overrun. They want U.S. weapons and like U.S. arms and a bunch more F4 phantom planes. And Nixon agrees to give them to him, but K Kissinger's like, we're not giving them anything until they can arrange for commercial flights to ship the weapons to them. Because I don't want, I'm trying to negotiate with Syria and Egypt.

And if they see US military aircraft landing in Jerusalem to give the Israelis weapons, that's gonna fuck up my negotiations. So like, he's actually really unpopular with a lot of folks in Israel because he does stuff like this. And in fact, Kissinger's, and obviously like every US negotiator in this conflict, Kissinger

is more on Israel's side than anyone. But it's probably fair to say he is less on Israel's side than any other negotiator we ever put in there, which is like, we're fascinating. Yeah, it sounds like he's the most progressive because, mean, like obviously we had we could give a fuck. He's not a Zionist for one thing. He doesn't have like, there's not a, you know, he's Jewish, but he's not really that. Like, there is some amount of like as a Holocaust survivor, he believes strongly that like,

you know, Israel needs to exist. So he does have that going for him. Again, he eventually agrees to ship them weapons on U.S. planes after it becomes enough of an issue. But he like still is that moment of principles. The fact that there's like any of that at all is weird. Yeah. He probably had a little Nixon on his shoulder who was like, I know you're just going to be

a Jew about it. He was like, no, I will not, I'm not devil Nixon. It's weird how plugged in you are to how Nixon reacts to everything. Exactly what's the spirit president. Yeah. Oh man. So Kissinger's best relationship in the Middle East wound up being with Ann War Sedot, the president of Egypt. The two like were legitimately good buddies. They would kiss each other on the cheek like they liked each other. I found the one. Meanwhile, Kissinger and Goldemayir, which was the leader of Israel, had a really contentious relationship. At the end of the day, Kissinger again would always side with Israel on existential

issues, but he wound up giving them a lot more shit than you might expect. Now, the fact that the US eventually sends in arms turns the water around for Israel, which allows them, therefore, to deal decisive blows to Egyptian and Syrian militaries. But once Israel was out of kind of the period of most risk for them as a state, Kissinger starts to push back on them even harder. He's particularly enraged at the fact that they kept attacking while he was trying to negotiate a ceasefire. And again, his main concern here, this is not because he just like wants to stop the bloodletting. It's really important to him to negotiate a peace and it be seen as Henry Kissinger brought peace to the Middle East. So he's pissed that they're fucking over his negotiations. And he cares more about his reputation than he does about his Rayleigh military success.

They're forgetting about the people of Kissinger. Yes, exactly. The real chosen people. When Israeli forces surround the Egyptian Third Army and encircle it violating a cease-fire, Kissinger is livid. He's particularly angry. We're not getting as much into this aspect of his beliefs, but his whole thing in this period. The reason he, like as we talk about in our China episode, and this like three-way diplomacy thing

that he deals with China and the Soviet Union, he wants what's called a balance of power. That's his whole thing. He gets a, he's a big cold warrior. Obviously, he overthrows a lot of communist governments, but he's not one of these people who thinks we can eliminate communism. Instead, he really wants like this balance of power and he wants a balance of power in the Middle East between Israel and her neighbors too. And he's living about, in part, that they violated the ceasefire, but he's also worried that like, well, if the Israeli is wipe out the Egyptian third army, that's going to mean Egypt is humiliated.

And if they're humiliated, Sadat can't actually make peace and there's going to be another war. And I want to try and stop the next war. Would you get these? He's so hard right now. Yeah, we're so good for you. But he is like broadly on the right side of this. Right. Yeah.

Yeah, over the course of several chaotic days, he makes numerous trips between each of the belligerent nations in this war negotiating with their heads of state. And one of his primary tactics is to mock whoever he'd just been talking to when he's in front of the next person. So like, yeah, how many of you is that guy? He's an MC. Yeah. When he's dealing with a fecisade or anwarsadat, this means talking shit about the Israelis

and often Jewish people in general to get on their good side. So when Israel violates that ceasefire, he is heard to complain in a meeting, quote, if it were not for the accident of my birth, I would be anti-Semitic. Oh my God. Wow. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God.

On another occasion, he says, quote, and I need to remind you this is a Holocaust survivor saying this. Oh boy. Any people who have been persecuted for 2,000 years must be doing something wrong. Oh Jesus Christ. He fucking said that. Wow. Holy shit man.

We are just such fucking assholes. I am just seeing this. Guys, I'm on fire. I'm just ripping right now. This is some good to write. Someone write this down. Oh, don't worry. I'm wiretapping myself.

He kills at the clubs in Damascus. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. And he is actually really popular with not all, because there are other, we have quotes from other people who are particularly other Egyptian military leaders under Sadat who were like well Sadat's fallen for it. He's obviously just saying whatever he thinks will make us like him. He doesn't but clearly he can't believe this shit. He's just trying to like there are people who see through it but he he's able to trick the folks who matter which in this

case are Sadat and and have feds right. So all that aside, this period is, again, broadly speaking, the one where Kissinger does the most actual good, but it's worth noting that even when he's on the right side of things, I think negotiating an end to a war is generally the right thing to do when they're so war. But even when he's on the right side of things, his ego plays a massive and often toxic role in how everything shakes out. See, well, all this is going on. Nixon is barreling towards impeachment. And a big part of why he's constantly over there,

like while all of the big milestones in the Watergate case hit, like when Nixon is like ordering the cover up and shit and doing the things that will get him impeached, Kistinger's always away. Like he's like very studiously, as soon as the story breaks, like I need to be overseas as much as fucking possible.

So is it possible? He's competently trying to negotiate Middle East peace because he's trying to save his own ass and that's why that is literally what's going on. Because he's he's not a dumb man. He sees that Nixon is fucked. So he's not. He's like, well, I can't just be doing nothing. Yeah. And why don't I actually try to make this work, I guess? I'm in a lot of trouble domestically. Yeah, I mean, that's it. Like, he wants to, because part of it is he doesn't want to be near Nixon, because Nixon's

toxic. And part of it is like, well, if, if the last thing everyone remembers about Henry, well, Nixon is going down, is that he ended war in the Middle East. I'm going to keep being Secretary of State, you know? There's a friend of mine who had this theory when he was like, he said, or it might even be a bit, I don't remember, but like when he's in like a rideshare, he won't talk. And then the last two minutes, he'll just take great interest.

So he leaves on a real high note. And so it's like, he's kind of like distant and not really doing much. And then the last two minutes will be like, oh, that sounds great. Well, good luck with your family. And then so that's kind of like he's just trying to leave, like, actually, leave him a high note.

So the last thing he's gonna try to do is actually decent after a bunch of bullshit. Yeah, when I, when I enter a party, I set off an IED at the start of it. So everyone's really like shaken up. But then at the end, I hand out a six pack of beer. And right? That means everybody's like, hey, that was the guy who dropped the idea,

oh, come on, he's the six pack guy in my opinion. That's who that guy is. That is how Henry Kissinger handles everything. So yeah, now again, but here's the thing. The fact that like this is all existential for Henry, right? Ending the war in between Israel and her neighbors is like, he knows he has to do this or he's not going to keep his gig. So not only is he trying to negotiate peace, but he can't let anyone else play a role in

bringing peace to the Middle East, right? Because this is how this is his job interview. And you know how Henry Kissinger treats job. You've seen what he'll do for a job interview, right? He won't do it again, Joe. That's like a sea of athletes. So this becomes a problem. While this is all going on, this Egyptian and Israeli general, we've got this massive

and circled Egyptian army, the Egyptian general in charge of that and the Israeli general, like meet each other in the field between their armies and like sit down and start negotiating a ceasefire and figuring out how to pull. Like, they start like talk like people like it's one of these weird moments in military history where these guys are like, I think we can work something out like we don't need to be doing this anymore. Go ahead, you guys be quiet! Go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, Shoot the bit! Kill them quick! So Henry is enraged when he hears this happening and he starts again all these people who like in any other situation neither like in his Rayleigh General or in Egyptian General in the 1970s, not guys you would expect to be the voices of reason but because his and his and his in the 1970s, not guys you would expect to be the voices of reason, but because his

kiss-en-chairs in the story, yeah. Oh my God. So he starts maneuvering to make these guys shut the fuck up. He sends a letter to the Israeli ambassador asking, what is Yarev? Yarev's the Israeli general, selling here. Tell him to stop. Suppose Yarev comes out a great hero on this engagement. What do you discuss on December 18th,

which is the next round of negotiations? Oh my God. I mean, God. He's such, yeah, I mean, it's just what a heinous asshole. I mean, I feel like he could still tell the credit towards him, but he's like, I want my finger put it solely on this. Yeah. I don't want to like get to into like what might have happened

because I'm not an expert on either Egyptian or Israeli military history But you have to think maybe it would have been good if like an Israeli general and an Egyptian general had like brought peace to the conflict And like maybe that had like been part of like the military legacy in the area might have been nice. I don't know You know, we're staring down the barrel of a tragedy right now. I might not be recognized as the one who did this. So, Kissinger, a biography, continues the story. Quote, it Kissinger's behest both Sadat and Maier reigned in their generals at the kilometer 101 talks. That's like where this army is encircled.

The Israeli ambassador, although what Kissinger partisan felt that it was largely a matter of ego, Kissinger's view was that if any concessions were to be made, they should be made by him, didn't it's recalled? He was very upset when he found out that things were actually being settled by the generals at kilometer 101. We had to make them stop. Ego was a weakness of his, but it was also the source of his greatness, which I might, I don't, but the weakness is understanding. Yes. I would, I would let you call it a new strike. Can we, can we kill both generals? I think we're going to need to find the generals. These guys are getting a long way too well.

And I didn't, I wasn't there. Listen, Dick, I know the watergate stuff has you, but can we invade both countries? For sure. We're in complaint camp, complaint camp. They invade both countries. For sure. We'll be in camp. Complaint camp.

Yeah. So I, to his sort of credit, though, the piece that Henry helped negotiate to end the Yom Kippur War would prove to be durable. And it set up diplomatic relations between Egypt and Israel for the next time. There's this very powerful moment when like, go to my ear, because like Sadat still can't talk directly to Israel.

There's a whole like diplomatic thing going on. But he tells Kissinger to tell her like, I'm taking off my military uniform and I'm never going to wear it again. Basically like, things do, like this is a really like, good move in a lot of ways. Obviously that you could say this also like paves the way for nobody ever coming to help the Palestinians again,

which is worth noting, but it does bring it into this series of like constant wars. So, yeah, what an amazing risk to take though, to be like, you guys stop. We'll do my version. We're going to do it my way. Yeah. The freaks and notch of Middle East peace negotiations. That is kind of the reputation he gets because obviously this plays incredibly well for Americans. And so Kessinger is seen as still this like massive hero even while this is a big part

of why he's so popular even as the rest of the Edmen goes down in flames. Now this inaugurates a period of what comes to be known as Shuttle Diplomacy. That's a term you'll hear associated with Kissinger all the time. And it's him fly all these different countries in the Middle East and in Africa. Him fly in from like capital to capital for weeks on end doing these negotiations where he's always the man in the center of things.

Henry actually kind of grew addicted to throwing himself in the middle of international crises and flying nonstop between capitals to do these negotiations. It was this and the popularity he earned from being seen as a peacemaker that guaranteed him to keep his job and Ford's cabinet. One of the few upsides to Kissinger's career prior to the 70s is that he hadn't really fucked with Africa to any appreciable degree.

Now, this is not because Henry Kissinger would have an issue with fucking with Africa, but it is because the US, like, we didn't have a huge footprint in the continent until the 60s You know, that's just not so long thread now like there's so much going on so many countries to ruin Yeah, this is like him learning Spanish. He just never found the time So I knew when I'm a little older and I get the chance I can really. Africa, that's my God. So yeah, the US footprint in Africa started up when the CIA, in like the early 60s, I think when the CIA murdered or allowed other people to murder, it's a little unclear. Patrice Lemumba, the left wing democratically elected leader of the Congo, the US backed a right wing general, well, even calling it like right and left are less useful terms in this

But we back a general called Joseph Mubutu who proceeded to spend the next couple decades robbing the country blind Oh, it seems like a pattern. Yeah, it happened. It's weird that it keeps happening all the time While there was other US fuckery in Africa throughout the 60s and early 70s It stated a fairly low ebb until April of 1975 when Saigon fell to North Vietnam. Now known as just Vietnam. 1975 was known by some in the media as the year of intelligence, not because any particularly good decisions were being made, but because Congress was investigating the presidency over Watergate and there was this big flood of public questions about clandestine foreign actions carried out under the ages of Cold War politics.

A lot of the stuff we were talking about in episodes like two, three, and four had started to leak by this point. And so people are like, there's this big national discussion about like, what the, what should we be doing? All the should we have like a CIA like should we maybe and there are like the CIA gets like the there's a reforming of the CIA that occurs in this. It's work.

And it had, yeah, you can question the degree to which it mattered. And it had, yeah, it may have made them less good at doing the bad things that they did. But not for lack of try to imagine. It's the reform and the CIA is the difference between overthrowing Salvador I end day and those like US guys pissing themselves in Venezuela after getting like arrested by fishermen. Wow. For Henry Kissinger though, the year of intelligence was a year where he spent trying to reorient the United States towards a new anti-communist conflict. His target this time was the nation of Angola.

Now, Angola is a mid-sized African nation located on the southwest coast of the continent, directly under the Congo and directly above Namibia. It's close enough to South Africa to get fucked with, but not so close that they can just send troops right over the border, you know, which is a better place to be than directly bordering South Africa

in this period. In 1961, the people there decided to have themselves a good ol' fashion war of independence, which lasted 13 years, killed tens of thousands of people, and only ended when a coup overthrew the dictator of Portugal. Now, this coup was, by the way, very weird. Most sources will describe it as a left-wing coup against the dictator. The reality is a lot more muddled. The guy who winds up in charge of Portugal

on paper is a monopoearing general who's like, I love him already. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I'm in. And he's not really leftist, but the powers behind him are some very left wing army officers. They form a new democratic government, which includes several elected communist leaders. So Portugal has like elected communist deputies now. Henry Kissinger flips the fuck out at this. He is certain the country will fall to Soviet influence. Interestingly, like this day, Todd, he's worked at with the Soviets. It's a big part of it is this idea that like, well, the Soviets have their sphere of influence

in the East and we have like the West has its sphere of influence in Western Europe. And the Soviets kind of hold to that here because they don't get involved in Portugal. They don't like try to make push things further in their direction. Henry is like convinced they're going to and is absolutely wrong because paranoia from Nixon. He was like, yeah, yeah. Portugal eventually elects other people like again, the government stays fairly left wing by his standards, but like it does not, as you might notice, it does not join the iron curtain. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Kissinger is just like, there's, we have some quotes from him. He's absolutely certain that like they're about to go full Stalinist because again, he's wrong about most things actually. He does not have a good understanding of like what's about to go full Stalinist. Because again, he's wrong about most things, actually. He does not have a good understanding of like what's gonna happen anywhere. No, it's just almost that this point, he's hung around so long that you're kind of just like, I guess he must know, I mean, he want to know,

but he's probably like, he must know something. You, I think it's worth looking at like what happens. Like Henry's expectations for what's gonna happen in Portugal versus what happens and then think back to Chile where like,'s like, oh, I end day is going to lead to they're going to go full communist and it's going to be, you know, no, maybe if I end day had stayed in power, they're just wouldn't have been a dictator and things would have been fine and they would have had a lot less problems than they had.

And let's see the communist version. Went on to have how many people die in the communist version. Yeah, it was really less. The puppets that we put in power are not like these amazing like peacekeepers. It's just like we, everyone, we're like the Midas of Genocides. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. So the biggest international result of the coup is that the new Portuguese government had no stomach for colonies, right? They negotiated a treaty with the three largest militant groups in Angola in 75. These were the FNLA, the MPLA, and UNITA.

The non-accranum names of all these groups are in French. I'm not even going to try it. Dave, you can have a... Dave has a... Absolutely not. They're not. What you need to know is that the MPLA were Marxists, right? Kind of Marxists.

They were formed, at least the organization had been formed by members of Angola's intelligentsia who were Marxist and Marxism had like a big influence on the MPLA. Unfortunately, like, yeah, meanwhile, like kind of, so that's one faction. The FNLA and UNIDA are generally described as being right wing groups, but this is one of those things where like grafting Western political terms onto the Civil War in Angola does not work great. All of these groups, even the ostensibly Marxist MPLA, are very tribal in origin. And by that I mean like they are based on specific tribal grievances and tribal like arguments

that are going on in the region. As opposed to like being clearly like, well, we're pro-communist, we're anti-communist, like that's really less of what's going on. We're getting shirts made. Yeah. Yeah. For an example of how useless, a strict ideological itlands is here, Unita was initially very left-wing in its messaging, attacking the United States as, quote, the notorious agents of imperialism.

Unitas fighters were literally trained by North Korean soldiers. But by the end of the Civil War in Angola, they had been receiving arms from the Reagan administration for years, brokered via their paid representative Paul Manafort. Oh my God. What the hell?

That's the kind of word this is. We're like, Unitas starts off being like, we're going to end American imperialism. And by the end, they're like Paul Manafort. Get us weapons. You, if you're going to party, get next to this manifold. Yeah, it is a good time. Yeah, for just like to show you how weird this is technically in the Angolan Civil War, Paul Manafort and North Korea are on the same side.

I feel like Paul Mana been forced 250 years alone. Yeah. I mean, and by the end, it is fair to say that by the end of the Civil War, United's leader Jonas Vimby is calling himself an anti-communist. That's his messaging. But he's less about anti-communism than again. There's specific local grievances he has with the MPLA and like that's more why they're fighting than that he like believes strongly in anti-communism.

He just knows that's how you get weapons. Right, okay, that's what it is. Yeah, speaking the language. Right. Yeah, and when North Korea is training his guys, he's not into Ju-che, you know, he's like he wants the dudes to train his guys. Yeah, right. Now, the FNLA is led by a guy named,

and that's the other usually called a right wing faction, is led by a guy named Holden Roberto, who used to work with Savin B before Savin B formed United. I know this is a very complicated conflict, I'm sorry. They're generally described as like right wing, and they did receive aid from the CIA. So that would like, okay, yeah, definitely right wing, getting aid from the CIA. They also got military aid from China, Romania, India, Algeria, Zaire,

the AFL-CIO and the Ford Foundation, or at least aid of some sort. So again, the sides here are just fucking baffling. They're like the Tinder swindler. There's working every side. Yeah. China, the CIA and the AFL CIO shaking hands over backing the FNLA. I think that's the agreement. Yeah. It's like big brother. Wait, you guys here too? I'm going to be here.

It's amazing. Oh, the Ford Foundation. Well, well, well. Well, well. The MPLA, which these again are the kind of Marxist guys, and if you're of the three factions, they are the ones who most do believe in like a political thing that like we would recognize in terms of like left-right sides. They are partly armed by the Soviet Union, which should not be surprising, but most of their military aid comes from Cuba.

And we're not really gonna get into it, but it's worth noting like how substantial Cuban aid is to the MPLA. Cuba starts sending soldiers to Angola in November of 75, and by 1988, they had more than 55,000 soldiers in the country. And like, that's a trick. I don't know if you guys know this, but Cuba and the West Coast of Africa, not super close.

Yeah. Yeah, it's a bit of a jaunt. Yeah. And that's also a long involvement. You know, they're in there more than a decade. There's a lot of commitment here. So as is generally, it's actually Cuba now to be there. Yeah.

As is generally the case, all of the communists were not an agreement about Angola. The people's Republic of China did not particularly care about like a left-wing struggle in Angola. They wanted to keep Soviet power at bay on a continent where they were starting to do some business themselves. So China and the US worked together to support the FNLA in Unita. This is exactly the sort of thing Kissinger had been going for when he pushed to connect the US diplomatically to China.

I want to quote now from a write-up by Maria Gouda of Wilford Lauryer University. Quote, this was part of Kissinger's grand strategy of triangular diplomacy. Triangular diplomacy was essentially the US exploiting the relationship between Communist China and the Soviet Union to create a three-way detente between the countries, with the US at the helm. Kissinger was not pushing for covert operations through the CIA in order to elevate American standing in China, because next-ninth Kysinger were orchestrating something larger. This was to use China as a counterweight against the Soviets.

Kysinger's emphasis on triangular diplomacy caused him to view regional conflict in terms of involvement on the Chinese and the Soviets, not in terms of a local struggle. So he very much sees this as a battleground between different ideologies, but anyone who knows anything about the Angola of Orbea knows that like, no, that's not really what's going on. Like everyone is like everyone is in here and it is certainly not like about what kind of political shit individual parties believe. Yeah.

Yeah, the site, you can't graph these easily under like a western axis. But as Isaacson writes, Angola became quote, a vivid example of Kissinger's tendency to see complex local struggles in an east-west context. In all respect to Kissinger, wrote Jonathan Quittney, in his study of the Angolan War, when really has to question the sanity of someone who looks at an ancient tribal dispute over control of distant coffee fields and sees it as a Soviet threat to the security of the United States. I mean, what a guy. Yeah.

It's like, I mean, it's also, I mean, it's so, again, I mean, the ego on this fucking dude to be able to just go into thing, massive conflicts, have no clue, and make it that binary, and think that he's doing anything. I mean, he's just so emboldened. Yeah, he's emboldened, he's just like, he's so arrogant that he's like, well, I don't need you.

Would you do me a favor, could some of you wear red shirts and some of you wear blue, so I could kind of stuff. Let's do shirt skins, huh? Yeah, I don't need to like, I Henry Kissinger don't need to like, understand the actual dimensions of why these sides are fighting. Yeah. I can just assume that it graphs on to every other conflict I've ever cared about.

Yeah, knowledge is weakness. Yeah. And this is like, he's not the only American to be arrogant in this specific way about a conflict in Africa, right? But it's the last, he's the last one. to be arrogant in this specific way about a conflict in Africa. Right. But it's the last he's the last one. He would be the last thing. The last.

The last. Since then. So CIA funding for UNITA and the FNLA was initially quite low, but Kissinger pushed for an escalation and soon the agency had poured $22 million in covert support for both of these groups. Kissinger felt they were thinking small though. He believed that after suffering a public defeat in Vietnam, US foreign policy needed to come back.

And a year ago was, yeah, baby, yeah. Come back. Mm-hmm. Yeah. It ain't better placed it in Golo with everybody cares. Yeah, what America's like. Everyone's plugged in. You're gonna love my new stuff.

The problem with Vietnam is that it was too distant from American concerns. Angola! That's it, that's the problem. Now, he, yeah, so he believes that like Angola's gonna be our fucking comeback tour. It's the equivalent of, I don't know, one other time's Elton John did a farewell tour.

Yeah, yeah, something like that. He's not his nut. Yeah. There's a lot of similarities between Henry Kissinger and Elton John's musical. Yeah. Bomming and budgets. Yeah. Actually, Tiny Dancer, that song is about Henry Kissinger.

He is a Tiny Dancer. He is a tiny dancer. He is a little guy. So yeah, Kissinger wants to prove that the United States is still a global power. And he also wants to prove that Henry Kissinger has like is still a secretary of state with some teeth, you know? He's just like seated a bunch to the fucking in these negotiations with Vietnam. He's kind of a big piece of mind. The Henry Kissinger. Yeah, he is like everyone is going to see Vietnam as an L for me. So I need a win baby. So yeah, you could kind of see his attitude in Angola as like the powerful sociopath version

of buying a sports car to impress like 20 year olds. Right. When you're an old man. Yeah, right. He's midlife for a crisis. And the people around Kissinger are a lot less bullish about escalating involvement in Angola and in fact this includes like the fucking CIA but they had really big shoes to fill to be fair yeah they're just like we don't want any part of this right now wow you guys are really negative yeah you guys are saying gola. It's Angola. Where's the wind? Gotta be a fucking hole in one, baby. In June of 75, Kissinger holds a meeting with President Ford, the Defense Secretary, the Joint Chiefs of Staff, and the head of the CIA. They discuss the invasion of Angola, and while most of that meeting

is still classified, we know Kissinger urged what he called a diplomatic offensive. Quote, if we appeal to the Soviets to not be active, it will be a sign of weakness. He played on stereotypes of Africa as mysterious and wild claiming it is an area where no one can be sure of its judgments. Next, Guter writes, quote, revealing his talent from manipulation, Kissinger used daunting and dramatic language to illustrate the situation in Angola as he saw it, by giving the impression Gouda writes, quote, needed to support the FNLA in United to repeat to prevent the dominance of the Soviet backed MPLA. This view wholly disregards the idea that the Angolan Civil War was indeed that a civil war. Kissinger was positioning Angola in a wider East versus West context. Oh my giz you've got biggie you've got two puk. I mean, only the United States can want

to be and like only the United States can be sold on getting involved in a conflict. Or he's like, we have no clue what's going on. So we got to get that hat on. We have to really throw our dicks in this one. We have to come on guys. Let's get moving. It could be crazy. And this is one where like the US actually doesn't really want to get involved.

Like this Kissinger is the one pulling everyone else in here. He's a marketing wizard. Now Wizard. Yeah. And based on his urgings, the CIA comes up with a plan called IA Feature. It was a covert paramilitary operation in which US military advisers and special forces would be sent to Angola in a manner basically identical to how US involvement in Vietnam started.

Okay. I'm just literally like, let's do that again baby let's see it's got to go pretty good when we do it this this is how i get to bomb nimibe uh... i've got my vision board he has dreams of flattening the Congo i woke up i thought there had been a

despite the fact that the c.a. did come up with this plan at his behest, there's intense resistance within the agency, a lot of whom think Kissinger has lost his fucking mind. And thus, CIA director William Colby joins our pantheon of bad guys who seem reasonable because Henry Kissinger is involved. Right. So Colby is like pretty rattled by how Vietnam ended and also by the fact that there's all these congressional inquiries into like the CIA doing a bunch of other terrible shit, right?

They're actively being investigated right now. So, this isn't Kobe being a good guy. This is Kobe being like, I don't want to drive when I've got shit in the car, basically, right? Like, I'm holding right now, you know what? Honestly, any other time I'm just fucking Angola crazy. Like I'm just fucking going nuts, but it's just not the right time. We got to right now.

Right now. Yeah. He's the guy who's like, he's like, it gives it just like on a casino floor and he's been cheating. And like the security's gathered and their whispering and pointing at him. He notices and he's still playing. Yeah, he keeps going. He's going to let her sit on black one more time. How many times that to say hit me?

So the 40 committee, which again, Kissinger heads approves IA feature, but William Colby is like, okay, but I'm going to insist we actually go to Congress to have the funds appropriated for the secret auction. Oh, that's branch. Those guys. What? Are they still here? Oh my God. There's a lot of questions, Colby. So while Kissinger argues for his covert operators, South Africa sends troops in to support the FNLA in United, who would again, it originally have been trained by North Korea. So there's FNLA troops who received training from both South Africa and North Korea.

Geez. This is just a very weird war. So there's FNLA troops who received training from both South Africa and North Korea. Jesus. This is just a very weird war. So China has the reaction we're all having and is like, you know what, this is too messy for me. I don't even need this right now. Like I got other shit going on. And they kind of bounce from the situation. Okay.

The Soviets and the Cubans, though, extend more aid to the MPLA who win the war handily and it's installed themselves in the capital, Luwanda by the end of 1975. So a few weeks after this the CIA holds an interagency working group meeting with Kissinger to discuss how to ask Congress to send in US advisors and like at this point the war is lost and their Kissinger is like no we got to get some guys in there. Come on guys. No one else wants this, right?

There are, everyone else is like, this seems like way more of a hassle that we use to the party at like 245 AM. Come on, let's keep going. Let's do shots. What do you mean, a keg's tab? Yeah, the CIA is already puking from how much they've had to drink in Vietnam.

Chill out and shit. Who are the gilets? Come on, I brought absent. Let's go. Poor guys. So, Kissinger, or, so yeah, they have this meeting. And like, so Kissinger has a meeting with one of the, like, a guy in this, with this, a bunch of people.

And then like, they hold a separate meeting afterwards with the CIA about what Kissinger had said. So they're basically the side meeting son Kissinger now? Yes. So basically they present Kissinger with a report on like what would have to be done to send US advisors into Angola and Kissinger reads the report and rather than giving a yes or a no, he grunts and walks out of his office. So after this, all of these CIA guys have to sit down and decide like, what does Henry Kissinger grunting mean?

We've bought an hour. Was this a yes or a no? Yes, we bought. This guy is really good at deciphering what Henry grunts me. Well, gentlemen, it was a pretty long grunt, which is never good. He's a side grunt, which for Henry means he's a little agitated. I'm going to quote about, writing about this meeting Kissinger, a biography by Walter Isaacson.

Everyone found this rather disconcerting, especially since Kissinger was heading off for Beijing. Well, someone asked, was it a positive grunt or a negative grunt? Mulcai paused. It was just a grunt he explained, like, oomph. I mean, it didn't go up or down. Stockwell, the agent in charge marveled as a group of somber officials supervising the nation's only extant war sat around a table trying to decipher a Kissinger grunt. Mulcai provided his imitation of the

grunt once again emphasizing its flatness. Someone else at the other end of the table tried it. There were a few experiments contrasting positive grunts with the voice rising, than a negative one with the voice falling. Different people attempted it. Well, ask the CIA officer who was cheering the meeting. Do we proceed with the advisors? Mokahi scowled and puffed on his pipe. We'd better not, he finally said, trying to decipher his boss's mind.

Kisentra just decided not to send Americans into the Sinai. There were a lot of nods. The request for advisors was shelved. It was an amazing way to run a war. Mulcai said years later, as he recalled the incident. Oh, yeah. By the way, they accidentally wrote a home improvement script at the end of this. This is actually where the pilot to that show came from.

It was like, no, no, it was like, yeah. Okay, I let, that sounds a little more positive. Yeah. It's just like, what a moment for the United States. All these fucking spooks with blood on their hands being like, well, that's, was it like, or like, you know? I mean, because you do, at least at some point in your existence For the most part you do believe that when someone is saying the central intelligence agency that it is really like working on

Intelligence and gas and and is intelligent and is a body that is actually You know Processing information that potentially you don't have access to and instead they're just sitting around a fucking table Going like do the grun again Jim Yeah, it's again that potentially you don't have access to. And instead they're just sitting around a fucking table going like, do the grunt again, Jim? Yeah. Do the grunt again? It reveals. And this is I think where a lot of folks on the left kind of mix up

viewing the CIA as like hypercompetent. And it's where a lot of people everywhere fuck up viewing Kissinger as hypercompetent. Like, no, they have a lot of power and they use it badly. But like at the end of the day, Kissinger doesn't have the balls to like say yes or no on something. And so he grunts. And then all of these fucking again, bloody handed monsters spend an entire meeting like repeating the grunt and trying to figure out if it means yes or no.

And there's no like it's so unchecked. I mean, like, you, and it still is that, but it's just, there's nobody there to be like, hey, this is fucking nuts. Yeah, instead, they're like, do the grunt again? Try the grunt again, yes or no? Dan had the best grunt. Dan do it again, because I want to play it slow for everyone. Oh, oh, oh, oh. That's a maybe to me, bro.

It's sad. While I think it's sad, Dan Bivlin having known Henry for a little while. He's pissed. So the CIA is a request for another 28 million in funding and the discussion of sending in advisors was again leaked to see more Hirsch. Congress cut off all aid. Obviously, he puts out an article about it. Congress cuts off aid to Angola as a result of this. Kissinger does not get his way, but the CIA money he'd already funneled into United

helped the groups stay alive. The Angolan Civil War did not officially end until 2002. Although again, this is one of those things. This is a really nasty Civil War. It lasts a ridiculous amount of time. Kissinger gets a lot of the blame, but we should also note that like Paul Manafort is much more on this. Like he is the guy, Manafort's the guy who brings Savimbi to DC and gets Reagan to send a fuckload of weapons over to like really escalate

things. Thank God for Reagan. Yeah. Thank God for Reagan. But it is amazing that this fucking goes on until 2002. I crazy. That's insane. Yeah. Yeah. What a legacy. What a legacy. So I have teased y'all that Kissinger has a Rhodesia connection. And yet again, the funniest thing about this is that it's one of the least fucked up things he's ever involved in.

But the story is kind of funny, so I'm going to tell it anyway. So in Rhodesia, you've got this country. We're about 8 percent of the population at the height of like white population in rodisha about eight percent of them are white but they hold effectively a hundred percent of the political power this obviously is not something a lot of the black people living there like that sure

for reasons i don't think i need to explain uh... so some of them decide to fight back and there's a number of rebel groups and soon in ugly insurgent war between the Rhodesian government, which by the way is an international pariah, right? They're like actually not supposed to exist basically. So no one can legally sell them arms. So everything has to get like smuggled through South Africa and the soldier of fortune magazine winds up sending a bunch of fighters over William F. Buckley Jr. or William F. Buckley raises money for them. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, very nasty war. We've talked about it in other episodes. The GoFundMe war. Yeah, it is a GoFundMe war. So by the time Kissinger is in office, the

white minority government of Rhodesia has spent years locked into the losing side of a grinding insurgent campaign. The international community widely condemns Rhodesia as an apartheid state, and there's a bunch of arms embargoes And in fact pretty much everyone hates Rhodesia except for South Africa and the US right wing who see the Rhodes is Anti-communist crusaders sure kiss and Jere was locked into an awkward position here He wanted to negotiate an end to the fighting and an end to the white supremacist government of Rhodesia But he also doesn't want to piss off his right wing base too much. This is like a really messy situation for him.

Yeah, of course. So policy towards Rhodesia in the Nixon years, there's a plan Nixon approved through South Africa in 1969 that is like US policy in Rhodesia for nearly a decade and it is literally called, I am sorry for saying this, but Nixon calls US plans, like the US stance towards Rhodesia, quote, the tar baby option. Oh my God. She got it later. Thanks for having me on the podcast. Oh my God. Oh, at least there's

no stream of white supremacy through American. Now, this was the one time. It's like, I can't believe the guy fucking recorded himself for, like, this is not just recorded himself. This isn't just like Nixon saying a slur in a conversation with his buds. No, this is official US government policy. Yeah, we write this out places. Someone wrote it down and was like, okay, I'll hand it in. If you're sure, Mr. President,

well, it turns out pretty good to me. And this is not just towards Rhodesia. This is towards all of like South Africa to these like white minority governments in Africa. And the premise is that quote, the whites are here to stay and the only way that constructive change can come is through them.

So, it's so, and it really hasn't changed that much. We just have fancier titles. Yeah, we're, we don't put the slurs right in the title. Yeah, no, we don't have part of the president and we don't put the slurs in the title. So the policy is sold to American liberals and moderates, by basically saying the only way to liberate black Africans is to improve their economic outcomes through trade. And that means dealing with the white governments, right?

It's really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, to racial repression, but relax political isolation and economic restrictions on the white states. I mean, it's fucking crazy. Like, you know, the problem here is that people don't like the 8% white people that run the entire fucking place. It's one of those, we continue and we'll always have debates over like sanctions and like when they're good and bad ideas. But the argument here is that like we can't sanction South Africa and

Rhodesia because it'll hurt black people. And the degree to which that's a lie is that like, well, you're saying we have to start selling them fucking weapons so that they can oppress black people in order to improve economic outcomes for black people. And perhaps that's fucking insane. Right. Yeah. It's a little more nuanced than that by not by a lot. So much, not much.

Yeah. To his credit, when Nixon is out and Ford is in, Kissinger kills the racial slayer option. And he author a new plan, one that is a lot better and that is actually focused on spirited opposition to white minority rule in Rhodesia. Kissinger gives a big speech in Lusaka that immediately enrages the right wing of the Republican Party. Basically, he's like, under Ford, we want to bring an end to the government in Rhodesia. Like, this government cannot be allowed to exist. Right wing is like unbelievable.

Yes. Ronald Reagan, Ronald Reagan. They're over seven percent of the populace. You can't disenfranchise seven percent of Rhodesia. Have you seen the color of their goddamn skin? That is essentially what Ronald Reagan says. He denounces Kissinger's plan as undercutting the possibility of a quote, just an orderly settlement

and argues that it will provoke a massacre of white people. Boy, so I mean, you wanna have a head popping moment. Try to find a good guy in a Reagan Kissinger debate. It is. It is. It is an amazing fight. It's just like, well, yeah. We have, I hate everyone involved in this. We should pay more attention to the white people.

I think we need to be careful. I feel like you're both conning me into something. I think you guys are good cop, bad copping, and you're working for the same outcome. Look, Henry, I'm not 100% sure why I think you're wrong in this, but you must be. Yeah. The other guy's got to be wrong too though. So I don't really know what to do here.

I don't trust Reagan and hate him, but Kissinger, you're the worst person on the planet. So why am I calling a bit of a pickle? Yeah. This is a doozy of an issue. I'm going to need to go in the other room and do some grinding. Yeah. So, yeah, what's happening here is that Kissinger is trying to wrench US government policy in Africa

away from supporting explicitly racist regimes in Africa and Reagan and the right thing underrated. Because he's trying to get into a country club or something. There's gotta be some angle of... Well, I mean, obviously, it's the same reason he does anything, right? He wants to be seen as being the guy who negotiate right into these big issues. And he's trying to, I think he recognizes by this point that like, well, Republicans aren't going to stay in power forever, but I, Henry Kissinger, want to have a shot at

being in power still. And maybe if I get rid of this bad government, Rhodesia, people will be like, Henry K, let's give him a gig, you know? Right. He accidentally stumbles into the proper outcome because personally he wants to end it. And so he sees the way to end it is actually the way that's good.

It's the rare. It's the rare. We're lining up Henry's personal interests with a prudent solution and happen. That eclipse is very rare. Yeah, he's like a guy who like stops a home invader from murdering a family, but it's later found out that it's because he was hitting on a 15 year old girl. Like he was trying to flirt with their daughter. It's like that sort of situation where it's like, well good, I guess. Like he stops a robbery because he was peeping through a window that he fell through.

Yeah, exactly. Yeah. It is hard to find the moral lesson to take out of this. hard to find the moral lesson to take out of this. So yeah, obviously the Reagan right loses their minds over what Kissinger's doing here. Pat Buchanan, a former Nixon speech right now writes in a column, quote, it is too early to determine if Secretary of State Henry Kissinger's safari through black Africa did greater damage to US policy interests or to present Ford's hopes in the remaining primaries. I mean, again, I like, it needs to stop where like this, this never ending, what does it do to your reelection chances, shit. It's like, we are so conditioned to that being how we operate and do everything as opposed to actually just trying to do the thing that does long-term good.

And what would you do the thing that does long-term good? Is my way here? Yeah, you're right. You're right. I mean, it's true, but it's, I don't know, it's just, it's a foregone conclusion now that everything is viewed through the prism of what does it do to the poll numbers. Can I just say take off your masks? Yeah.

Right. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Right. So, Kishinger did not achieve a tremendous amount in Rhodesia while he was Secretary of State. He got Ian Smith, who's the leader of Rhodesia, to agree to a two-year turnover from minority rule to an actual democracy.

But the way he did this was by assuring Smith that black moderates had agreed that during the turnover, whites would remain in control of the military and police. This was a lie. The black people in like the black moderates in Rhodesia had never agreed to this. He's just lying to Smith to get him to agree to this. Awesome. And the whole like anytime there's like a two year deal that you're like, that's just your way of like letting it sort of settle so that you can push in the fuckery.

Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And the story of the negotiations is classic Kissinger. He's telling everyone what they want to hear and then kind of weaseling his way into getting people to sign things that make him look good. This right up from the New York Times sums it up well.

Mr. Smith has said he agrees to the five point plan he made in public because he had received assurances for Mr. Kissinger that the black leaders had accepted the whole package, including Mr. Smith's addition on white ministers. In his view, either the blacks have reneged or Mr. Kissinger misled him. The blacks, such as President Julius Nureire of Tanzania, insist that they did not give their approval to the details of the five point plan, only to the general thrust of majority rule in two years, leaving it to Britain to work out the tales later with black and white Rhodesians. They say they would have rejected the proposal for white ministers.

Mr. Kissinger and his aides have been evasive. On October 24th, Mr. Kissinger said on television that I think everybody is telling the truth. Oh What an incredible guy The best that is the best bullshit statement I've ever It's out so much standing I believe I'm not sure or I don't Everyone's lying. It's awesome. I think everyone who is the bad guy in Rhodesia, nobody. Nobody. I think everyone is really cool. Why do you need a bad guy?

In the end, the talks collapsed. The war continued on for two more years until the Rhodesian strategic fuel reserve was blown up by insurgents and the government was forced to the table. Kissinger and his supporters would later claim that the eventual peace was negotiated on the terms laid out during Kissinger's negotiations. That's kind of questionable. It's probably, it is fair to say that by coming in very strongly, and he was very unequivocal about condemning

the government of Rhodesia by doing this as the Secretary of State, Kissinger caused a shift that led to a significant increase in trust of the U.S. by Black African nations. No, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Yeah, obviously. It's one of his better moves from an ethical standpoint, but it's an ego move still, right? Everything is an ego move.

Yeah, obviously, it's a sign of how much more fucked up things become that doing this broadly good thing causes the beginning of the end of his career in politics. Of course. It's like, you can't help the black people. That's it. You're done. Yeah. Yeah. That's it for you, Kissy. But to be fair, it worked for me me that's why I did it we know everybody but you know what won't fail to bring peace to Rhodesia what's that the sponsors of this podcast orchestrated the destruction of the Rhodesian strategic fuel reserve that is we are sponsored entirely by the Rhodesian rebel forces. Here's an ad. Ah, we're back.

Good stuff. Yes. So yeah, on the whole, Kissinger's last year or so as Secretary of State involved his least number of war crimes per month, which might point to personal growth, but probably points to the fact that he and Nixon had just exhausted the US government's ability to do shady shit. We needed a breather, right? We had to take a breather.

It took us a few years to get geared up for Reagan, you know. Sad. He's been, go ahead, Dave. We've just kidded so many, he's like no, like what do we, we dig up, we dig them up and kill them again, like it's just hard. We're out to fam munition. He's like a, he's not longer a starting QBs

being traded, he's riding the pine. Yeah, he's got like, yeah, I got a wrist injury, you know. Yeah, he's on IR for the year. Yeah, so the last one of his escapadesades were going to cover then is Kissinger's relationship with the Kurds. Oh, fuck. Yeah, baby. Jesus, fucking Christ.

The Kurdish people are the largest ethnic group on earth without a nation of their own. They make up large chunks of southern Turkey, southern Iran, northern Iraq, and northeast Syria. Now, if you look at this kind of broad Kurdistan region on a map, you'll notice a couple things. For one, it's all landlocked, which means if you were, and there was a lot of talk when colonial powers

left, started to leave the Middle East after World War II, that like should, and promises were in fact made to the Kurds. One of the issues that comes up is that it's gonna cause like severe economic difficulties, because they would be landlocked uh... you'll also note that their territories all tend to exist in chunks of states that have wound up fighting each other repeatedly over the last half century or so

right on purpose area around exactly and the curds were used on purpose by basically everyone as buffer zones and proxy fighters in these conflicts starting in the nixon administration the shot of a ron had a problem he was engaged in an escalating conflict with a new sexy young dude on the block sedam who say never had now can i just say right away i like both these guys they seem like they're both

gonna go good places so gonna go good places. So the shot decides he wants to arm he wants the US to arm Kurdish fighters in order to give Saddam some trouble in ease up pressure. The ostensible leader of the Kurdish people struggle in Iraq at this time is a guy named Mustafa Barzani. Now Mustafa had been leading his people in battle against the Iraqi state prior to Saddam taking power for like a decade at this point, and he had repeatedly begged the United States for aid. The U.S. traditionally did not like Barzani because he had spent a decade exiled in the

Soviet Union and had some socialist E tendencies, but the Israelis and the Shah had experienced great luck in using the Kurds to keep Saddam, who had taken power pretty recently off of their back. Kurdish rebels tied up 80% of the Iraqi military during the 1967 war against Israel and are probably a big part of the reason why Iraq did not join in that war. In April of 1972, Saddam signed a treaty of friendship with the Soviet Union. This finally tipped things for the next generation. The treaty of friendship is just a great term.

I mean, it's a nice term. It's like a nice term. It's like a nice term., it is a nice term. It's like, it has like a nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice This finally tips things for the Nixon administration, and Kissinger gives the go ahead for CIA director Richard Helms to express American sympathy with the Kurds and declare our quote, readiness to consider their requests for assistance. Next, from a write-up and foreign policy. In early 1974, Saddam violated the terms of the March Accord and unilaterally imposed a watered-down version

of autonomy for the Kurds. Barzani responded by traveling to Iran, where he met with the Shah and the CIA's station chief to request U.S. backing for a plan to set up an Arab Kurdish government that would claim to be the sole legitimate government of Iraq. As Kissinger wrote in his 1999 memoir, Years of Renewal, Barzani's request triggered a flood of communications among U.S. officials focused on two questions. Whether the United States would support a unilateral declaration of autonomy,

and what level of support the United States was willing to give the Kurds, the CIA in particular warned against increasing U.S. assistance. But Kissinger was dismissive of CIA director William Colby's caution, writing, quote, Colby's resistance was as unrealistic as Barzani's enthusiasm. Nixon ultimately decided to increase US assistance to the Kurds, including the provision of 900,000 pounds of Soviet-made weapons that the CIA had stockpiled and a $1 million lump sum of refugee assistance. In April of 1974, Kisinger said,

Okay, why the Soviet weapons? Is that to confuse things? You don't want people seeing them with US weapons. That's going to make it seem like we're involved in. What? Amazing. What an amazing move. So fucking, I mean, it's dope.

It's very part of Committamurder. Yeah. So in April of 1974, Kissinger sent Nixon's orders to the US ambassador in Tehran. This cable was important because it laid out a succinct proclamation of US interests vis-à-vis the Kurds. The objectives he wrote were to A, give the Kurds capacity to maintain a reasonable base for negotiating recognition of rights by Baghdad government.

B, to keep President Iraqi government tied down. But C, not to divide Iraq permanently because an independent Kurdish area would not be economically viable. And US and Iran have no interest in closing the door on good relations with Iraq under moderate leadership. That, but there are, I mean, I'm not crazy, but there are a lot of countries that are economically viable. And it's a huge amount of oil. Yeah. It's such a crazy thing that they're saying. Like, it's just, it's fucking insane.

What they are doing, what Kissinger is establishing and writing here, is US policy towards Kurdish people for more than half a century. And the idea comes down to, we will provide them with aid in weapons when they fight our enemies, but only to such an extent that they achieve minor tactical successes, never enough to allow them permanent autonomy, because that's going to upset the balance of power, right?

This has been ever since. This is what we do with the Kurds, right? And Kissinger is the guy who lays it out first. Now, Mustafa Barzani made the terrible mistake of believing that the US actually supported his people's independence. For three years, the Kurds battled Saddam, sustaining thousands of casualties. But then, in 1975, the Shah and Saddam made peace, and the Shah asked the CIA to cut off all aid to the Kurds as part of a deal with Iraq. The weapons Kurdish fighters had relied upon, suddenly dried up. Barzani's fighters were

massacred, thousands fled to Iran, but were turned away by the Shah. Desperate, Mustafa-Cabled Kissinger, whom he had gratefully sent three rugs in a golden pearl necklace his wedding gifts just months earlier. Your Excellency, the United States has a moral and political responsibility to our people. Kissinger never replied. Later that year, the House Intelligence Committee asked him to justify this betrayal. He responded, covert actions should not be confused with missionary work. Oh my God. It's so cool. You don't understand that sometimes I'm also just doing missionary stuff.

Yeah. The key is that I don't give a shit. As he stands naked on his rug with just his pro necklace on. Speaking of missionary. So in the 1976 presidential elections, Ronald Reagan attempted to primary Gerald Ford from the right, the Reagan campaign targeted Kissinger heavily, not for his numerous war crimes, but because of the fact that he had made it to taunt with the Soviet Union, right? That's why they're in. That's amazing. You're like, you know what? The right section got a point.

He committed war crimes in Vietnam. I mean, you're talking about a guy who's killed millions of innocent people. No, that's actually not that said. We're actually fine with all that. It's the piece stuff we're pissed off. We're a little angry with some of this piece stuff he's been locking in. They are specifically, they're livid that like part of the detente means Kissinger was like, we're not gonna fuck with Soviet spheres

of influence in Eastern Europe. And Reagan and his colleagues are like, well, this means they're just giving up Eastern Europe to communism. You know, right? Right, communism. Exactly. Always.

It's fascist hate communists. I mean, yeah, again. And Kissinger's political instincts in charm were sufficient to fend off an attempt because there's within the Ford administration There is an attempt to get Ford to promise to fire him in a second term largely because they think it'll help him win the primary against Reagan And Nixon beats everyone here. He manages to get Ford to be like no, I would never fire Henry Kissinger But this is

No, no, not Nixon Kissinger succeeds in doing that with four. Okay, so I thought like I was like, if you're listening to Nixon at this point, there's a lot of Nixon in here, you know, you mix it up. He's just, he's just that a cupboard in the White House still. Gerald, give me some gin also, keep Hank around. So the fact that Henry wins the fight within the Ford administration means that he becomes like a major marketing term for the Reagan campaign, right? Like they do not stop,

in fact they, they instantly should have plank in the Republican party that year. That's basically the anti-Kissinger plank that says like, you will never accept that like communist state should exist anywhere. Essentially, that's kind of what they do. Okay. It's just stabbing him in the heart.

Yeah, it is. It's amazing. And it's a, it's a. It's just stabbing him in the heart. Yeah, it is. It's amazing. And it's a mark of how much he fucks things up that you can't even feel good about his downfall, because he's replaced by people who just suck even more. So Ronnie felt the spheres of influence that Kissinger had established with the Soviet Union. We're giving up the Eastern like block to communism. He also attacked Kissinger for negotiating with the Soviet Union, were yeah, giving up the Eastern, like, blocked a communism. He also attacked Kissinger for negotiating with Panama's new government,

because Henry was willing to give the Panama Canal back to the Panamanian people. And now he's there. There's no big, big, big Panama Canal. Yeah, why would they get it? The right wing was so, and Reagan wrote that thing, but they were so fucking bad. Yeah, no, no, there's no,

Clay have no claim to that canal. Yeah. Reagan said in the speech, we built it, we paid for it, and we're going to keep it. Oh my God. Refer to our two-parter on the US in Panama. Oh. Or on that one. So Reagan's primary attempt failed, but by struggling against the rising far right,

Kissinger had hammered the final nail into his political career's coffin. In the Ford administration's last days, a dark alliance materialized and smelling blood in the water, they acted to cut Kissinger off from any future career in Republican politics. The three main members of this alliance were Paul Wolfowitz from the CIA, vice president Dick Cheney and Secretary of Defense Donald Right Oh baby yeah It's like there's four casengers

It's like killing Satan and then three winged demons fly out of him Yeah, it's so funny. It is so funny Fine on some good guys. Really funny. In fact, Kissinger, like Rumsfeld, he sees as almost like a protégé, like he and Rumsfeld are very close. And when Rumsfeld turns against him, Kissinger describes him as quote, the rottenest person I've known in government, which is, and Henry, from you,

utterly mean it. Honestly. Absolutely meaningless from you. I mean, you're not allowed to. Yeah. Yeah. It's so funny. It's so funny.

So it's not funny for all the people who are going to die, but it's funny in like an existential sense, like if you're an alien looking at all this, like a TV show, it's pretty funny. Yeah, you'd be like, if you'd be like, why don't they get a good guy? You're like, well, it's really hard to explain,

but they just don't. If you can't laugh at all the people dying, are you an American? Yeah, no, the answer was no. By the way, the first time that Nixon heard that Kissinger was working with a guy named Rumsfeld, he was like, well, I've pour him in a glass for me, get some ice on it. So I'm fucking delicious, put some celery in it.

So Rumsfeld and Cheney worked within the White House. Oh my God, I can't believe I gotta hear their name. I know, I know, baby, I know. While Wolfeowitz is part of the CIA's's team b now team b is an intelligence review board set up by jerald for it as a soft to the far right the reagan conservatives who he's again trying to win over and get behind him so we can win election against carter the reagan conservatives were certain the agency had been the cia i mean had been under reporting soviet military power because the soviet military and like the

early truck of of the port administration is like they're actually not doing great like they're like we really don't need to keep buying a shitload of weapons like they're not they're not they don't have the kind of military assets that we've been saying for years. um so we now are getting a shady CIA inside of the shady CIA. Yes. This is like this it's like a Russian nesting doll of a CIA inside shady CIA. Yes, this is like a Russian nesting doll of CIA inside the CIA. It's even worse than the other CIA. So the Reagan conservatives were certain that the CIA had been under reporting Soviet military power and team B was basically, Ford gave them team B so that they could get new appraisals

that showed that the Soviet Union was actually increasing their military assets. So basically what we, like what, like, I mean, essentially like what would eventually happen with a rack where you're like, look, I'm not liking the non-distilled information. Give me a bunch of bullshit. That's exactly what's happening.

And one of the things that's fascinating here is that, in essence, this is a return of missile gap logic, right? Right. Which Kissinger helped get off the ground. But now, because he supports the state-taunt policy, and that's like his big claim to like fame within, you know, his career that he reached the top of the Soviet Union, he's on the opposite side of like a missile gap bullshit myth, right?

Oh, man. This is the leverage. Lepards, leopards, leopards, eat my face. Yeah. I never thought it could happen to me. Yeah. And then they came for the Kissinger's and there was no Kissinger's that was big for me. It's the same thing as like Dick Cheney speaking out against the Trump administration. What?

It's daughter gets landed and it's what it's gonna be in 20 years when you know Trump is welcomed at a president's funeral and we're going you know Trump really wasn't that bad I like the way he said we shouldn't nuke everyone on earth as opposed to the next guy who nuked everyone on earth Yeah, I mean yeah Jill Biden handed him a piece of peppermint candy. He's not that bad I mean, yeah, Jill Biden handed him a piece of peppermint candy. He's not that bad. Yeah. So former CIA analyst Melvin Goodwin later said of Team B, quote, they wanted to toughen up the agency's estimates.

Cheney wanted to drive the CIA so far to the right that it would never say no to the generals. Not how estimates were. And again, this is the stuff that up estimate, like their estimates. Pause this and listen to our episodes on the Doleless Brothers, and then realize that Shaneys like I want them further right than that. That's not nearly right wing enough. That is the craziest fucking thing I've ever yet. Bug fuck.

Yeah. It's a gang bang being like, I want more orifices. Not enough holes here. I can't stick my dick at enough stuff." So in December of 1976, as the Ford administration prepared to hand over power to Jimmy Carter, the CIA finished and released a 55-page report. Greg Grandin describes this as quote, the right's answer to the Pentagon papers, a nearly perfect negation of the document Daniel Ellsberg had leaked three years earlier. The scholars and policymakers who composed the Pentagon papers represented the kind of men Kissinger disdained. Experts enthralled to facts. In contrast,

the members of Team B were admitted ideologues. Its members, as J. Peter's scobl-scoblok notes, saw the Soviet threat not as an empirical problem, but as a matter of faith. Oh, what kind? I mean, it's a church. It's a war church. It's also what's happening here, because they are against Kissinger, but as Grandin notes, they're using the kind of logic he used, right? Yes, he's not there with him on all of the murder crazy

American ship, but they're like, he's just not racist. I mean, they're basically like, we got to get rid of Kissinger so we can worship his tactics properly. That's exactly what's going on here. And in Kissinger's shadow, Grant and continues, quote, previewing what would become known as Dick Cheney's 1% doctrine, team B interpreted threats with the smallest probability of occurring as likely to occur.

Absence of proof of Russian superiority was taken as proof of superiority. Team B's failure to find a Soviet non-acoustic anti-submarine system was evidence that there could well be one. Noteworthy. Yes. Which makes sense. Of course. I mean, it would be... Yeah, have egot it and you know one in Emmy and an Oscar and a

Grammy. So that's pretty solid evidence that I have. Absolutely. You have all of that. Absolutely. So in December of 1977, the New York Times published a front page story on the intelligence findings of team B We've provided legitimacy to the bogus S. Oh my god. And in sure the next decade of defense spending was geared towards stopping a rising Soviet Titan that did not exist. Oh my god fucking Christ. Thanks.

Thank you. Now that I want to start wars on top of that which is Star Wars precedes directly creation. Yeah. Yeah, Star Wars proceeds directly. Yeah, yeah. And it proceeds directly like team B is laying the groundwork for Star Wars, right? So while team B's tactics ran directly counter to Kissinger's current positions, they rested directly on what Grandin calls his philosophy of history. Henry had been an advocate on the value of intuition and assessing threats and guiding responses. History and Anna Hesse and Khan writes that they used Kissinger's own philosophy to quote

belittle besmirch and tarnish Henry Kissinger. Had to be a tough spot for Kissinger where he was like, it's a shame that I've been vilified but God damn do I love the way they did it. So me. So me. It's just so me. Everything we everything that's that's why when people, you know, you look at the current situation in Russia and everyone's like, you got to get rid of them. And I'm always like, just but just remember, whenever the US gets what it wants, it's always worse.

Yeah. Every time that it can be worse, like he can be gone. it can be worse. Like, he can be gone. He's a fucking monster, but don't be surprised. Yeah. It comes after. It's really fucking bad. And the idea of not questioning shit, like, we are the country who cried war. At some point, you have to be like, look, sorry, everybody, you're really going to need

to step up with a lot of evidence because you constantly just fucking invention. I mean, if you have, if you are forming organizations inside of bullshit organizations meant to bring, like, if there's no submarines, it means there are submarines. I mean, it's just kind of like, and the fact that it's still effective, it's constantly effective. It's never stopped. This is just a continuation.

And it's even like, this is a domestic version of what happens ever else. We just create more and more worse things internally. It's what we do. Don't worry, we'll make it worse. Yeah. That is the promise that the United States makes itself in the world. Don't worry, we'll make it worse. Yeah, that is the promise that the United States makes itself in the world. Don't worry, don't worry.

We can fuck this up more. Yeah. We wait to throw on you. Yeah. We fucking created Putin. If you go back and look at it, we're behind all that shit. Yeah, it's us looking at the bombing of Kiev

and going, you know what, I'll fix this. If Bangladesh doesn't get COVID-19, see? That's right. Which it's something that is gonna be what, You know what I'll fix this if Bangladesh doesn't get COVID-19 Which it's gonna be what I like we will at some point solve something just totally on accident like yeah So when he left office in 1977 Henry Kissinger would never return to direct political power Um, he desperately wants to really want it to be like. So that's then he has always wanted to.

Yeah, that's nice. Oh, that man. Now now I understand 2016. Yeah, he really wanted it to happen, but he'd never quite made it, pulled it off. He eventually started a consulting firm which he would rapidly grow into an eight to ten million dollar a year business for himself. Oh, Christ. He makes a ton of money doing this shit. Of course he goes into consulting like they're absolutely.

A consultant's job is to get the worst advice. Yeah, and to make people feel good and he's great at that. I'm a shit-doracle. Now, Walter Isaacson, author of the biography Kissinger, claims that Henry was actually much more ethical in this period of his life than most former government officials who start consulting businesses. He waited an unusually long time to start his business. He avoided for years directly connecting his clients

to people he'd worked with in the state department. Like a low bar. It may be accurate that he is more ethical in his conduct here than most people. But again, that's a low-ass bar. It may be accurate that he is more ethical in his conduct here than most people. But again, that's a low-ass bar. Yeah. Most of his business, the business he does in this period can be boiled down to like, he's helping oil and gas and other extractive industries. Oh, so he's like doing nice, you're on tropical stuff. Yeah. Yeah. So he's just destroying the world. Well, yeah, absolutely. He's a middleman for the people destroying the world.

Let's, let's be clear about. Yeah. You know, he's, he's. Let's be clear about, you know, he's making connections between people who are willing to go for work. And to be fair, he's pining to be in charge of it again. He is. Probably his most morally questionable moment in like I guess a conventional sense is that, so like right after the Tieniman Square crackdown, he shows up on Peter Jennings show to argue that like whatever went on the US should not impose any economic

consequences on China. And this is again not due to a principled stand against sanctions. It's because Kissinger was working on a massive business deal that involved the Chinese government in several large corporations. And here's the thing, he's working as a journalist at that point. He is a regular columnist for the LA Times and the Washington Post. And he advocates in both magazines not putting any kind of economic, like doing any economic harm to China over this, which is like a ethical issue as a journalist because again, he does not disclose that he has any of these business relationships

and it causes a minor uproar. It's one of those things where it's like, yeah, that's unethical behavior but also in Kissinger terms, like not even on the fucking radar, right? And that's people, this is an abord act. But yeah. Congratulations on turning over to a new leaf, Henry.

Yeah. Wow, Henry, you've really improved. You really are less shit You waited until after the thing to do something bad. Yeah So in his post-power years he became even more of an international celebrity He's actually surprised when he's when he starts doing this job He's raking racking up huge amounts of money as like a public speaker and he and his his like accountant Expect the value of him as a speaker like well it's obviously it's going to decline over time. People will learn that you're horrible.

It just gets bigger. He just becomes more and more valuable as a public speaker. Now, for some insight into his life in what we might call retirement, I found a New York magazine article from 2006. Quote, he bonds with Oprah Winfrey over their shared love of dogs. She recommended an artist to paint a portrait of Kissinger's lab, and with Alex Rodriguez over their shared love of the Yankees. He and A. Rod had lunch at the four seasons last year.

He and his wife of 32 years, Nancy McGinnis, spend every Christmas with close friends, Oscar and Annette De La Renta in the Dominican Republic. Asked about the nature of that friendship, given the unlikely connection between a former statesman and a fashion Mobile Kissinger says they are dear friends of mine. They have no utility. I'm going to check to kill them. Yeah, I Will give them some plans to kill them soon. Can we just can we finally agree that Oprah Winfrey is a fucking monster? Yeah, I mean right to Oprah Oprah Winfrey is a fucking monster. Yeah, I mean, right, Oprah buddies with Henry K Winfrey. Yes. Dr. Phil, Dr. Oz, like she creates the fucking,

I'm not gonna stick around for any Dr. Oz shit talk, but the other ones you got me. Yeah. Don't forget, don't forget, John of God. Yeah, right under your suharto tattoo, Garrett is just, Dr. Oz, high-fiving Henry Kissinger, not a bad guy,

this before he got his show, so I liked him early. This was just like aspirational, you know? Yeah, I didn't know. He's a great pal. So Kissinger became a New York socialite and was reputed to enjoy the city's social scene

because quote, Manhattan's social life is more generous than Washington's political life. He should not be allowed to pick where he wants to go out. I mean, he should not go like get food raised to his cell in a bucket. It's the same thing as that what the cook was a David Coke, the one that just died, but it was the same thing. Everyone just accepted him in those fucking circles and it's like, no, he's a fucking monster. Well, and then Charles Coke is the one who's like,

you know, was like on a rehabilitation tour for like six months. Yeah. And you know, major news outlets are reporting like, look, he recognizes they fucked up a little bit. It's like, he feels bad. He feels bad. I don't give a fuck. Yeah.

Degenitalize him. So, yeah, it was regularly, and I think probably still is regularly seen on the arm of bar bar bra Walters who calls him a loyal friend and she was hanging out with Henry and his wife one night at a dinner party when Kissinger endured one of his few public shamings it came courtesy of as the real the only real hero of these episodes ABC News anchor Peter Jennings who sees Kissinger at a restaurant and is fucking enraged and screams out how does it feel to be a war criminal in a Peter Jennings baby

And of course Peter Jennings is gone so no he does yeah yeah Kissinger probably like invaded his lungs. Yeah. That should happen every restaurant. Yeah, every and to all these fucking people. Yeah, Jennings is basically the only person at Kissinger's social level who calls him out. And imagine, and I mean, he's a he's a nightly news anchor on a major network. Imagine if you had that sort of vitriol pointed at some

of these people that we have in present day, who are again, not only allowed to walk around but are still in spheres of power, but, but, but dick like we were saying about Dick Cheney, like, you know, George W. Bush should not, he should not be in public. He should not be releasing thoughts on Russian invasion. No, he certainly shouldn't be fucking painting. Yeah, he shouldn't be getting mint. He shouldn't have fingers. No, a daughter should not be on the fucking today.

She'll like, I don't know. I like strawberry in my Margarita. So I want to continue the story because we're not talking with the story of Peter Jennings like calling Kissinger out at a restaurant and to finish that tale, I'm going to quote from the New York magazine again. The subject of Kissinger's past sins was very much in the air at the time. Judges in both France and Spain were seeking Kissinger for questioning as the long, simmering debate over his connection to Chilean general Augusto Pinochet's brutal killing of dissidents in the 70s returned with evinctions, not least in Christopher Hitchens' right-ringing indictment,

the trial of Henry Kissinger. These developments clearly rattled Kissinger, who had preemptively written a lengthy article for foreign affairs, decrying the dangerous legal precedent of using universal jurisdiction to try state actors for past action, the same precedent under which German courts hoped to try Donald Rumsfeld. The question by Peter Jennings, how does it feel to be a war criminal, stunned to the dinner guests, who included time ink editor Henry Grunwald who also died last year and yeah and former ABC chairman Thomas Murphy

Grunwald told Jennings the comment was unsuitable. Yeah, that's really an unsuitable thing to say. Yeah, as unsuitable as Fucking bombing Cambodia like Jesus fucking cry. This is the thing. Manors, they care about manners, they don't care about all the fucking bodies. And to his credit when like, Groenwald is like Peter, that's really unsuitable. Peter's like, I don't give a shit.

He's a fucking war criminal. He doesn't say that exactly. But he says the emotional equivalent of that. Such a bummer. Barbara Walters later said of the moment, I tried to change the subject, but it was a very uncomfortable moment. Let's talk about Campbell. Kissinger's wife reacted very strongly and hurt. Kissinger said nothing.

Man, it really is like, you know, you see there's a lot when like protesters will go into events and they will, you know, they'll have a message, they'll have signs, they'll have something orchestrated set up. And not only will the politician and the and they will, you know, they'll have a message, they'll have signs, they'll have something that will be straight it set up. And not only will the politician and the people on the politician's dais sort of be like, okay, okay. But the people at the event will be the ones who are like, you know, I like a congressional here,

this isn't the time or place, this isn't the time, it's like, there's no time or fucking place. When the, where's the fucking time or place? What are you fucking expect? It's all we have at this point is that's the only thing you can really do is try to make them Hate living in the world. They're ruining. Yes. It is a fucking mark of how Fucked up any kind of accountability to the political classes in our society that the most Consequence Henry Kissinger ever faces is Peter Jennings yelling at him Yeah, a man who's been dead for 20 years 15 years. I mean, I mean, Sarah Huckabee Sanders was out to dinner and some people yelled at her I mean you saw both sides. No, yeah, condemning it some fucking dudes and yell it fucking Tucker Carlson from his lawn

And people are there are there are Republicans and Democrats who always condemn that sort of stuff and it's not because people believe in public decorum it's because they don't want it to show up on their fucking doorsteps. Right, right. Yeah, they don't want like that shit to come back on them. Yes. I'm sure if someone's going to point out Peter Jennings did something fucked up. He must have. He was in media.

He did 9-11. He did. Oh, right. He did 9-11. That was Peter Jennings. He put those planes right into those towers. I've forgotten about that game. Yeah. So he died. That's how he died. Yeah. But at the fucking least, he was there and didn't mince words, just like you're a war criminal. Not like, how does it feel to be here where American boys

are dying? Well, like, no, no, you did war crimes. Henry Kissinger, fuck you. Someone has to say it. boys are dying, they're like, no, no, you did war crimes. Henry Kissinger fuck you. Someone has to say it. In his many decades, worth of declining years, Henry has focused his remaining powers in an attempt to secure his legacy. In 2003, he opened up his White House archives to a British historian named Nile Ferguson, whose book also just titled Kissinger, I've cited a few times in these episodes. Ferguson claimed his biography would quote, provide a warts and all look at the man. But quotes he made about the relationship, put the light of that.

And this is Ferguson like writing about how jazz he is to be hanging out with Henry. I'm in Henry Kissinger's swimming pool, talking about his meetings with Mousy Dung, thinking I must be dreaming. Shit in that pool. Fuckin' I know,

fucking hell, Nile, everyone. Now, obviously I have quoted from this biography because of the details the information Kissinger provides about his early life It is not without value. It's probably the most detailed look at his childhood. We have it also only goes up to 1968 Which neatly avoids the most controversial moments of Kissinger's life right? That's not great. And now we end the story. That was the end of Henry Kissinger. Blah, blah, blah.

Even when journalists and historians that Henry hasn't authorized specifically interview him, they are likely to find themselves enraptured or at least tripped up by his clever word play. Bob Woodward, who first interviewed Kissinger in 74, wrote, he wants to control not just what he says, but people's perceptions of what he says, and it's kind of like one long book review where he is arguing with the reviewer of his book or his life or his policy. Seymour Hirsch was more blunt in 1983 when he wrote, he lies like most people breathe. Wow.

Wow. Oh yeah. The most comprehensive biography of Henry Kissinger. And the one I would if you were looking if you're looking for just a book on Kissinger's influence in like the US and how toxic it was, I recommend Kissinger's shadow by Grandin. If you want an actual biography of Kissinger's whole life and time and power, I recommend Walter Isaacson's 1992 book Kissinger. I actually think Isaacson is too fair to Henry Kissinger, but even so, even though he clearly,

like does not wholly condemn the man, I find the book utterly damning, right? Like the book condemns him even if Isaacson doesn't entirely find to fully condemn such a piece of shit. It's just impossible not to, if you're accurate. I think Isaacson is pretty apt. If you lay out the facts, that's it. Yeah. Now, the best thing I can say about Isaacson's book, Kissinger, is that Henry Kissinger himself complained endlessly about it. He whined to Isaacson's boss, Henry Grunwald, who defended Isaacson and said he felt the book was

balanced and down the middle. Kissinger responded, what right does that young man have to be balanced and down the middle about me? Oh, I mean, wow. Wow. It just, it just shows you. I mean, yeah, yeah, like he should never be in the position where he should be pointing out that other people are crazy. No, no, like, you don't get to say that, Henry.

Yeah. No, as New York magazine notes don't get to say that, Henry. Yeah. No, never. As New York magazine notes, Kissinger denies that exchange ever happened. Oh, I believe Henry, I mean, the guy doesn't lie. He seems like an honest man. I bet Nixon still had a wire tapped. And here's a quote from that article that's very funny.

I've never read the Isaacson book, he says, then quickly clarifies. I've read a few parts of the Isaacson book, which I quickly clarifies. I've read a few parts of the Isaacson book which I didn't like but I understand that there are many parts of the book that are very positive. I missed those he says with a slice smile. That is so that is so Trumpi. I know it really is right. I didn't read it. I read parts one through five to 110. Isaacson says Kissinger wrote him a series of letters contesting numerous passages.

My view, and this is Isaacson. My view is that if Kissinger read read his own memoirs, who would be outraged that they did not treat him favorably enough? Kissinger. Who wrote this? You did. Oh, oh, fuck. That's sort of a bitch. I'm gonna get me. Kissinger claims to be unconcerned about his place in history.

I cannot defect my legacy, he says. And what does he think his legacy is? I have no view, he says. I can't control it by what I say. I tell him I don't believe him. You're not and you're eighties yet, he replies. Ugh. Now, a lot has been made about Kissinger's proported role in like the invasion of a rack. He did apparently like urge Bush and Cheney to go through with it. I think crediting him with specifically with having an impact on that is not realistic

because this is Bush and Cheney. By the time they talked to Kissinger about this, they had made up their fun. You know, it's probably he didn't push them into invading a rack. It's like similar one like the Queen of the Stone Age have Dave Grohl on drums yeah exactly exactly for sure but he's not writing all the songs I mean Josh got this. Kissinger's definitely the the Dave Grohl of the Bush administration yeah right great drum and I think that in rather than like actually being a meaningful role in a range in consent for the invasion of Iraq, I think Kissinger was doing here what he always did.

He was sucking up to powerful people to tell them by telling them what they wanted to hear. And the best example of this comes from 2008, when during a presidential debate, both John McCain and Barack Obama cited Kissinger as supporting their positions towards Iran. Both men held opposite views of what the US should do in regards to that country. So you might expect, and I don't think either of them is lying. I think they're both,

because I think Kissinger just would be like, yeah, of course, that's the right call. Absolutely. Yeah, what will the start date be just so I can put it in my calendar? Yeah. Good call, guys. That's great.

You both right. We shouldn't have paid them and leave them alone. Yeah. So, yeah, as a young law student at Yale, Hillary Clinton had taken part in outraged protests against Kissinger's bombing of Cambodia. As Secretary of State, she praised the astute observations he shared with her and wrote in a review of one of his books, Kissinger is a friend. And again, the astute observations. Kissinger is a friend and again The astute observations are Kissinger saying whatever she wanted to do was the right thing to do right like that's

That's what that's why these people like like him and think he's astute He's not I think he does today get kind of like look that as this secret power pulling the strings I think instead. He's just like the ultimate kiss ass. He's just like. Oh, you're in power now Yeah, whatever you want to do is the good thing to do absolutely right yeah a hundred percent i would tell people like if you're if you're young and you don't understand what it means to see a hiller clinton standing there with with kissinger it's no different than in in ten years of all some

your democrat candidate standings to chaining. You're like, what the fuck is going on? And I guarantee you that lost her. A bunch of people didn't vote for her because they saw her standing next to Kissinger. Yeah. I guarantee you. I guarantee you. Yeah. And yeah, I think though when you're trying to talk about like his actual influence and like the fucked up things that have been happening in the last couple of decades, it's less than whatever advice he was giving politician A or B and it's more in the way he shaped the way the US government functions in terms of foreign policy. He centralized power and set the precedent of allowing the executive branch to execute

military actions without consent of anyone outside the White House. And obviously there were like things that were done to restrict the power of the executive branch from doing that, but then those things were were done to restrict the power of the executive branch from doing that. But then those things were all undone after the... Like, right, like, it's this kind of tug-of-war thing. But Kissinger, even though he did not set obviously the policy after 9-11 that expanded the executive government's ability to do military shit abroad, he did set the present of like how you would actually centralize power in that way within

the executive. And he made up, he, he set a lot of ideological and philosophical trends that are still shaping the way the US government functions in regards to foreign policy today. Sure. And if you're looking for perhaps the most direct and succinct explanation for how Kissinger influenced the world of modern American politics, you can find it in this quote, he himself wrote in 1963, there are two kinds of realists, those who manipulate facts and those who create them. The West requires nothing so much as men able to create their own reality. Wow. Wow.

Wow. Wow. To not, to not be able to define realists and your two definite, your two, two definition of realism is absolutely delusional. Yeah, for neither of your definitions of realists to involve people who care about material reality. Yeah, you say in the first one, I was like, oh, and a second one's going to be realists. It's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, No, the other one is realists. No. So that's Henry Kissinger. It's so unbelievable. And so what you like, you know, he really, he, his legacy, like you're sort of saying, is not just directly connected to the things he's connected to. Because there was no prosecution for what Nixon did. No.

And there's no prosecution for Reagan did. And there's no prosecution for Reagan did. And there's no prosecution because we never prosecute and we never actually hold any of these people accountable. You know, you do see the seeds of that flourish now. Like you can invade, I mean, we're at the point where most people don't even know we've invaded countries we've invaded. Like, at least with Vietnam, people had access to seeing it and being disgusted by it. And then under Bush, it was like, well, we're not going to show the coffins returning.

And you say, I mean, it's not just Republicans. You see it under Democratic presidents too. It's just this kind of more egregious at times under Republican presidents. But you know, it's every president gets more powerful, does more, and it does kind of boil down to, they're going to be evil. Journalists and media need to recognize what their fucking jobs are. If you're in some of these jobs, like it's, it should not be a popularity contest for access only. There should be, you should be beholden to doing good and, and making these people held accountable because it's so

relevant in what you're talking about with Kissinger, that they just let the access to him because he became a popular figure, completely blind them as to what was actually going on. Well, it's actually worse than not punishing them. Remember when Obama was elected, everyone was like, these guys have to be tried for war crimes. And he said, we gotta move on. And you know, the word time at torture in war crimes and

everything else. But it went, it went further than that because they gave Bush like the Medal of Freedom. I mean, there's a picture of fucking Biden hanging on his chest. And they also, they also honored this guy named Henry Kissinger. They sure did. They sure did. They sure did. Honored him. So it's beyond not doing anything. Well, it's not even just him. I mean, it's just, it's systemic. It's just.

Yeah. And you know what, if you are one of these people, if you are a fucking anchor at CNN, like if you're Jim Acosta, think of how fucking popular you would be, if you did just start using your access to just be like Peter Jennings, like, we are like, we are craving this fucking figure, but they would be immediately fired. I mean, but they would also, but they would be, but you would also, I mean, having even a moment of that would carry your career.

Like if we had that Peter Jennings shit now, it would go so viral and people would talk about that person endlessly that I mean, it's like, it's like when, you know, when billionaires started competing over being philanthropists, you know, you, at some point, you're so far in the other direction that you're not that far off from just doing the thing that is you're supposed to do is going to be such a radical move. It's this, it's very frustrating. Like right now, you have all of these big media figures like moving their shows to Ukraine to be able to film

shelling in the distance. Yeah. Obviously, to be a journalist covering combat, up close covering war crimes, up close requires a lot of physical courage. Those like sky news reporters who got fucking shot and shit the daily beast reporters who got fucking shot that. But like being like Lester Holt, like having your show filmed with like shelling in the distance,

they have massive security teams. They have massive resources invested in making sure they are in as little danger as they can possibly be, and more than anything, they are out there in doing it for the fucking clout. Because that is easy to like pills like I'm brave. What's actually brave is Peter Jennings yelling at Henry Kissinger at a fucking dinner party full of powerful people and making sure that for just a second He has a moment of accountability and if one of them was willing to do fucking that to any of these goals

I would have a lot more respect than I would of them filming shelling and keying from a mile and a half away Yeah, look there there was a wolf blitzer who during the first Gulf War put on a helmet and was in Saudi Arabia where Scott Nichols were flying and it's saying how in danger he was. At the same time, there were journalists, American journalists, in the fucking bag that hotel being shot at and rocketed by American troops. And those guys didn't work anymore. And Wolf Blitzer got his own TV show on CNN.

Brian Williams when he talked about when he was like the way that he embellished his story about like getting off of a helicopter and taking RPG fire. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I don't know. We could use another ginnings or two at least in this regard. Yeah. I mean, it's hard because it's like, what would you, I mean, I don't know. We could use another ginnings or two, at least in this regard. Yeah, I mean, it's hard because it's like, what would you, I mean, what would,

like you're like, we want like, we want a politician for the people. And it's like, I like, that's like, that's what you wish for. But you're like, the step first is to just have these people vilified for the things they should be vilified for. Yeah, it would be nice if there was a journalist. That's the end of the story.

That's the thought. Well, honestly, like this was, I mean, just fucking incredible and just such a ridiculous American. He's a pretty bad one, right? I don't think there's a worse America the worst is he is he i know that there was talk of like into the countries of like that trying him outside of you know not having a merit

yeah yeah but he can he travel anywhere he wants or is he restricted he can i i'm not aware of i mean there may be like one place that he also now, like, he's become like this watery figure. So he's kind of like the T1000 where if you just get close to him, he turns into silver goo and just can go through a drain or something. Yeah, you can't put a handcuff around a pile of watery goo. I mean, he is a big part, like he argues vociferously

for why like Rumpsfeld shouldn't be able to be charged and I think Germany, it is, but and he's doing it like selfishly. I guess then shock then it would put Kissinger in danger, right? Like, you know, you know, that's not doing it off loyalty to Rummy who he probably hates at this point, although I don't know that Kissinger can take things personally, actually. So maybe he's like, I don't know. He's like the bill wall, coaching tree of war criminals. Yeah. I don't know what that means. Well, bill wall, like coach the 49ers and invented the West Coast offense,

and you just see the ripple effect through the NFL for generations and decades. Yeah, it changed football. It just changed everything. And it's like, that's what he did. He just was the guy who was like, you know, I came up with a new offense. And it's like, everyone's just reading off

of that playbook and tweaking it. Yeah. That's the, that guy you said of. That's the fourth reference, Robert and fly. Robert Football is when, uh, okay, Robert, that's the title of this episode. I really, I really liked the, the that guy, Garrett said of, but the fall for the politics. I liked the two, yes, the procedure. I liked the two yes that preceded your I don't know who that guy is. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, who is that? Yeah. It's like it's like it's like

in basketball when Phil Jackson made the triangle offense. That's something. The triangle diplomacy. It's like the triangle thing. Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. All right. All right. I'll write a triangle. Yeah. And offense is the opposite of defense. Right. That, absolutely. Yeah, yeah. All right, all right. I'll try and I'll get an offense is the opposite of defense, right? Yeah, that's right. Everyone says that. Everyone says. In my opinion, it definitely is. Yeah. The team with the most points wins. Well, for sure, that's going to be critical. Yeah, absolutely. And you know, when the overtime gets a first down, that's really that's that's causing a problem. You've nailed it all around. You've nailed it all. Absolutely.

Three pointer. Absolutely. Let's go Globetrotters. Well, honestly, thank you for allowing us to enter your dojo and mess around for a little while. I don't know. Thank you. Is the right.

I think you're probably, I think you're listening to me read 31,000 words about Henry Kiss and because we talked about it, I was like, I can't do it because it's not one episode. It's so any episode. Yeah. This is like the minimum I think you can responsibly cover Henry Kissinger. Like we could have done another couple episodes. Hey, go, let's do it. Let's do it. Garrett, yes. Let's just rip a couple. Yeah, we'll get a couple of photos of him hanging out with Jill St. John, joke about

his hog. Yeah, let's take it on the road. We can get another 40 minutes of content out of that. Honestly, we could just keep redoing parts of this on the road for a year and a half. The dollop and behind the bastards present three guys going through shots of Henry Kissinger at fancy parties and talking about the shape of his dick under his pants. Honestly, honestly, should work. Looks like he was having a chub day today. What do you think Dave?

Well, the wall that's on the table at the only one I'm focused on. Look at those tennis shorts. This is how we make our millions. Well, genuinely, thank you for that. I am generally super scared. Having watched how Colin Powell was treated. Oh, yes, when he died Be scared. Oh my god. Yeah, just death. Yeah, yeah, you're gonna watch liberals be like he was fucking awesome And you're just like everything about him was bad. Yeah, yeah, W

It'll be fun any Plugables at the end here. Sure. Yeah, listen First of all, we've got the Kissinger. We should do Kissinger live and we should use the Kiss font. And we should also wear like the Kiss makeup and we should just do Kissinger. We will be in Australia and America, the best country on earth. It will be in Australia in the middle of April to May. You can go to dolloppodcast.com for all that information.

We're all over the place, and then I am doing stand-up in Australia, and also over the summer, so you can go to garrathrenalds.com for all that information. And you can follow us on social medias with our, I'm at Reynolds Gareth, Dave's at Dave underscore Anthony, on Instagram, I'm at Reynolds Gareth on Twitter, Dave's at Dave Anthony on Twitter, and, whoo Gareth on Twitter, Dave's at Dave Anthony on Twitter, and whew!

Whoo! All right, thank you for having us again. Motherfucker. Sophie and Rob. Yeah, everyone go pray for Henry Kissinger's painful demise. Is? Shit. Yeah, let's hope that Tim Allen takes him out somehow

He smuggles coke into a party Kissinger's ad that just blows out the old man's art Or he just starts doing war improvement with Kissinger's his character Yeah, Kissinger would be the you know the bow. He's the owl right right right. Oh, you got, the, the Owl, he's the Owl. Right, right, right. No, you've got a bomb Cambodia, Tim. All right, and it says a good, that's another thing. Behind the bastards is a production of Cool Zone Media. For more from Cool Zone Media, visit our website, coolzonemedia.com or check us out on the I Heart Radio app app Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcast. Walter Isaacson set out to write about a world-changing genius in Elon Musk and found a man

addicted to chaos and conspiracy. I'm thinking it's idiotic to buy Twitter because he doesn't have a fingertip feel for social, emotional, networks. The book launched a thousand hot takes, so I sat down with Isaacson to try to get past the noise. I like the fact that people who say I'm not as tough on musk as I should be are always using anecdotes for my book to show why we should be tough on musk. Join me, Evan Ratliffe, for On Musk with Walter Isaacson. Listen on the iHeart Radio app Apple Podcast or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Mary K. McBrayer, hosted of the podcast, The Greatest True Crime Stories Ever Told, where I dig into crimes where a woman is not just a victim.

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