Behind the Bastards - The Survivor: A Magazine For Nerdy Terrorists

Episode Date: March 26, 2020

Robert is joined by Katy Stoll and Cody Johnston for a reading of Kurt Saxon's Survivor Magazine.Footnotes:The Survivor PDF Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee... omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 And now for today's Roblox Winter Weather Alert, iHeartland on Roblox has been walloped by a winter snowstorm. It is a winter wonderland. You can now ice skate at State Farm Park. In State Farm Neighborhood, you can compete in snowball fights, grab a hot cocoa and cookies, and more. There's also special events from your favorite artists and podcasters all month, along with scavenger hunts,
Starting point is 00:00:21 exclusive content, and unique items. So enjoy the festive winter weather at iHeartland on Roblox. Head to iHeartRadio.com slash iHeartland today. I'm Mo Raca, and I'm back with season three of my podcast, Mobituaries. I've dug up even more stories about the people and things that fascinate me. From the fruit that once scandalized.
Starting point is 00:00:44 The shape of the banana made it taboo. To the band that played second banana to the Beatles. They were lucky to come in second, and the truth is they only came in second for about two months. Listen to Mobituaries on the iHeart radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm weird, you're weird, we're all weird about money. I'm Paco De Leon.
Starting point is 00:01:06 I'd like to proudly present to you a brand new podcast called Weird Finance, a show to help us all feel a little less weird about money, one conversation at a time. So if you want to feel a little less weird about money, and you also want to hear people have honest and real conversations, tune in to Weird Finance. Available on the iHeart radio app, Apple podcasts,
Starting point is 00:01:28 or wherever you get podcasts. What's got a headache, Mike Hode? Katie, ah, shit. I do. Katie has a headache. This is behind the baskets. Podcast about bad people. I promise it's not a corona headache.
Starting point is 00:01:45 It's just a normal stress headache. Yeah, you say that, but you've got that look in your eyes like the guy in the zombie movie who's hiding the bite. That's literally all of us right now, actually. Yeah, you think you're special. Back off, boys. Don't look too closely at my headache. So this is our first corona recorded quarantine episode
Starting point is 00:02:08 of Behind the Bastards, the quarantine bastards. And I figured we should do something a little special for it, y'all. So, oh, I just had my first sip of coffee for the day. That's nice. That's lovely. Robert, why did you not drink that before you started recording We Have a Rule?
Starting point is 00:02:25 Because we're professionals. Gotta be fast. Speed is everything. Now, let's very slowly discuss this old prepper magazine from 1976. Oh, yeah. That's what we're reading today? Yeah, I was given this, mailed this by a fan,
Starting point is 00:02:43 and I don't think they sent it weeks ago. So this was just a coincidence that it timed out well with the coronavirus, but it's called The Survivor by Kurt Saxon. Now, Kurt Saxon was a fringe survivalist lunatic who wrote a book called The Poor Man's James Bond and a number of other guides to making improvised weapons and stuff like that.
Starting point is 00:03:08 He's one of those, here's how to kill people with objects around you type dudes. Here's how to be a fake James Bond, excellent. It's more like, here's how to booby trap everything that you own and kill people if you have. So it's more like a bad MacGyver. Yeah, here's how to be like a drunk lonely MacGyver in the woods.
Starting point is 00:03:31 So like a light terrorist. Yes, like a light terrorist. It seems like what we're talking about here. We got a lot of time on our hands. I don't know if this is a responsible thing to put out in the world, but we are. So I want you to look at, I want you to look at the beautiful copy of this.
Starting point is 00:03:50 It is about, it's enormous. It's about twice the size of a normal piece of paper. The book is, it's hand bound. Whoever made this clearly did it in like their garage. And the front has an illustration that I can only describe as unhinged. It really is very lovingly made. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:13 Yeah, it's like a very, it's a warped fairy tale. Yeah. It's a fat zine. Yeah, there's like. I like Katie's description, made with love. It is definitely made with love. It shows a man who looks like a young, who's the guy from Greece?
Starting point is 00:04:31 Greece guy. Zuko! It's Johnny T. John Travolta, your Tommy Travolty. Yeah, he looks like young John Travolta at the hairy chest. I'm a phenomenon. I hate this. He's clearly forging something.
Starting point is 00:04:48 And he's forging something, what I love about this picture is that he's like clearly working on an active hot forge right next to his daughter, who's immediately on the left of the forge playing with a doll as like sparks go flying. It's great. Well, you could do that and be a good parent. He can, of course he can.
Starting point is 00:05:05 They live in some sort of home-built house. There's, what I have to assume is a bomb-making chemistry set, either that or methamphetamine in the right-hand corner. And then his very quiet, perspective-warped wife standing in the background operating some sort of rudimentary lathe. Yeah, looking on.
Starting point is 00:05:24 Yeah, she's got her apron on, I think. You're damn right she has an apron on. Your daughter getting her face burned off. I have a feeling Kurt Saxon does not like it when women don't wear aprons. I understand where you get that feeling from. Well, he's not gonna shell out for her to buy another dress if she ruins it being stupid.
Starting point is 00:05:46 Here's the thing about prepping, because I do it myself. Unfortunately, you often wind up taking advice from lunatics who are light terrorists, because they also know how to do a lot of really useful shit because they've been living alone in the mountains for 35 years, and they picked up some skills. So I'm interested in the ratio,
Starting point is 00:06:08 I'm going to predict right now that this magazine will be a mix of incredibly useful survival tips and absolute madness. And I'm really interested as to what that ratio is going to be. Right, and how they relate to each other, because I imagine a lot of the useful things will be like, hey, did you know this?
Starting point is 00:06:28 And here's what you do with it. You do a lot of crossover there. Well, page one has what I would, I guess we would call an editorial survival is looking out for number one. And I guess I should read a little bit from that to give you, give us an idea of the tenor of this piece. Alarmists all around the country are promising disaster,
Starting point is 00:06:51 such as super inflation, famine, foreign invasion, the triumph of communism slash fascism. That classic, you guys remember when the communal fascists were rolling in that red-brown alliance. I guess the dangers of that one thing. Nuclear war, et cetera. Unfortunately.
Starting point is 00:07:14 Well, it's essentially the same thing. So I don't have too much of an issue with that slash. Lump them in together. Unfortunately, they may all be right, even though their timing is wrong, semi-colon, we hope. Not exactly where I would use a semi-colon, but yeah. You have only to compare this year's food prices over last year's.
Starting point is 00:07:36 This year's rise in crime over last year's. These things affect you directly. It's like prices going up, that's the thing. All right, sorry. It is a little bit comforting to read the tone of certain imminent doom in this magazine and then be like, oh, this was 50 years ago. We kept on limping forward.
Starting point is 00:07:55 Just wait, buddy, just wait. Maybe we'll get through this. Yeah, there are two main reasons for this which no political system can help. One is that the age of exploration and development and the industrial revolution is over. And the other is that the good crop weather worldwide is also over, maybe for centuries.
Starting point is 00:08:13 You guys remember how we weren't able to, we can't grow crops anymore? Yeah, the crop weather stopped. I'd almost forgotten with everything that's going on, but yeah, that's part of the problem. We don't have any crops. I mean, we actually do have a major problem with that because the Trump administration is not letting
Starting point is 00:08:30 Mexican workers in on visas this year to harvest crops. That's going to be an issue, but oh, Kurt Saxon. This guy couldn't have known that. How dare you make this relevant, Robert? How dare you? We're trying to escape here into the world of awful bastards. Not remember the bastard reality that we live in. Why don't we escape into hearing what Kurt Saxon has to say
Starting point is 00:08:51 about the age of exploration and development? Oh, yes, please. It began around 1500 and ended around 1950. From the beginning of that period, the earth was explored, mapped, annexed, developed and exploited. With you so far, Kurt, its resources, animal, vegetable, and mineral were looted with little or no thought
Starting point is 00:09:09 for future generations. Still on board? As national industries grew to take advantage of the imporing bounty from the hinterlands, living standards rose, enabling more people to survive and in turn to reproduce their kind. Human locusts spread over the earth, born only to exploit, rape, and destroy their own environment.
Starting point is 00:09:23 Have more babies so we can clear more land. Have more babies so we can mine more colon metals. Have more babies so we can keep the factories running. Have more babies so we can take more territory from the hated enemy. That's right. We've got a built-in workforce, the babies. The babies.
Starting point is 00:09:39 More babies. I wanted, as you were reading that, I was like, I hope there's a third, have more babies, and you did it. And then there was a fourth one. A lot of babies having suggestions here. I mean, Robert, I guess it's better than the usual dead baby talk on this point. It is, it is, although I think that he would argue
Starting point is 00:09:57 that like Lana Del Rey, these babies were born to die. Yeah, I also think we're only on the first page. We are only on the first page, so. There's more time for dead babies. This opinion column is continued on page two, but before we get to it, we have a couple of really useful little guides just on page one. How to cut bottles with electricity
Starting point is 00:10:17 from a 1919 Popular Mechanics article, how to make a stationary windmill from a 1913 Popular Mechanics article, and how to irrigate with tomato cans. That's all cool. A stationary windmill? Yeah, stationary windmill. So it doesn't move with the wind, it just is like a statue.
Starting point is 00:10:38 No. I figured it wasn't that. I think it, yeah, no. A windmill that can be made stationary. It doesn't roll down the hill, I guess. I don't know why he's specified that a windmill is stationary, I've never seen one that like. My windmill is not portable.
Starting point is 00:10:54 My windmill stays where it is. Oh, it runs regardless of the direction of the wind. That's probably what they're saying, Cody. Mills of this kind can be built of larger size. Yeah, that seems right. And some localities have been used for pumping water. And cutting a bottle with electricity, you know? No, actually, that's like a useful thing
Starting point is 00:11:13 for if you've got like a bunch of big glass bottles and you need to make cups because the society is collapsed, but you still need a good cup. And you've got extra electricity hanging around. Well, if you know how to make your own windmills. Right, right. If you're reading the survivor volume one, I think you're ready for this.
Starting point is 00:11:32 I mean, honestly though, they jump right into the heavy hitters in volume one, I'm surprised. This isn't even like a remedial guide. Oh boy. There's so many pages to this. This is so big. I'm not going to go through the entirety of his column, but I do want to read the section where he starts
Starting point is 00:11:50 about arming yourself and escaping society. That seems like a good word. That's the most important step, right? I mean, raise your hand if you're not considering arming yourself and escaping society for the mountains. Yeah, that's right. Everybody. Exactly.
Starting point is 00:12:08 Exactly. So, you may want to get a few acres and live cut off from everyone. This is fine if you're well-armed and a professional woodcrafter already. However, this is too great a change for most people. The inexperienced dreamers simply cannot survive alone. Regardless of your choice, town, commune, or small farm,
Starting point is 00:12:25 you must choose an area about 100 miles from any major population center. It must also be several miles off from any major highway. Refugees streaming out of New York or Los Angeles will clog the main highways and strip every home from miles, each side of their route, like irresistible plagues of locusts. I'm guessing he's imagining those crowds
Starting point is 00:12:44 as being a certain color. You probably don't have to use much of your imagination. No, no, plagues of locusts. I've seen the cover of this book you're reading. He does say that he's going to focus on survival without savagery, so that's good. Oh, Jesus. No matter how much you might think you can steal yourself
Starting point is 00:13:08 against pitiful refugees, you must plan to live as far off their perspective routes as possible. Yeah. There we go. Did he say pitiful? Pitiful, yeah. Pitiful refugees.
Starting point is 00:13:19 Pitiful refugees. So next we have a guide to making a mousetrap, a guide to make popcorn cakes, so that's nice. How to make a houseboat. Odie, that's for you. Dang right. Wait, how to make a houseboat? How to make a houseboat.
Starting point is 00:13:36 Let's get into that. This is a short article. This is a very short guide to making a houseboat. That's so shit. He's taken a lot of different guides from popular mechanics, and this is about a page. There's four paragraphs on how to make a houseboat. I didn't realize it was that simple.
Starting point is 00:13:57 In a very small time. Why aren't we all making houseboats? There's so much coast to California. You guys could be living in houseboats right now. Free rent? We are dropping the ball. And if you make that stationary waterwheel thing, then you'll have power.
Starting point is 00:14:13 Exactly. Oh, we're gonna live very, very dangerous kings. Well, and I have to say, what's a better value for the funders of some more news than living in homemade houseboats and generating your own power with a wheel? Honestly, I couldn't think of a second thing. I'm sure the next page will provide some more for us, but.
Starting point is 00:14:44 What page are we on again? I'll make blowtorch. What was that, Katie? All right. It's like, what page are we on? We are on page three. Oh my God. Okay, we already know how to make a houseboat.
Starting point is 00:14:57 Oh my God, right next to how to make a houseboat. Medicines like granddad used to make, which is an advertisement for another 200 page book by Kurt Saxon. Oh my God. Well, that's smart. Yeah, I mean, you know, you wanna make the sign of medicines that your grandpa used to make.
Starting point is 00:15:15 Oh my God. So it's $10, which is $19.76, $10. Kurt's charging you quite a bit for granddad's medicines. It's like a thousand dollars. Yeah. Self-published too, like. But like, if you're learning really valuable intel, I could shell out thousand bucks
Starting point is 00:15:31 to learn how to make a houseboat. I know that's different. You don't have to. You've got the free four paragraph guide right here, Katie. Yeah. Can we talk about this entry that says a homemade blowtorch? Oh, absolutely.
Starting point is 00:15:46 Wait, where is that? That seems useful. It's from Popular Mechanics, 1915. Wow. Popular Mechanics has really changed. This requires no air and no pump. How does it, how do you have a blowtorch? I don't know how you blow without air.
Starting point is 00:16:06 Yeah, or a pump. But I guess there's a way. Well, yeah. I mean, instead of forcing a small stream of gasoline into a heated burner, it converts the gasoline into gas in the chamber and blows a small jet of it through a very small hole into the combustion chamber. So you just make it a flamethrower.
Starting point is 00:16:22 There we go. It's just that simple. Thank you, Kurt. And this is why we're all looking for things to do while quarantined. Make your own blowtorch following the guide, this dangerously unhinged individual self-published in his garage in 1976.
Starting point is 00:16:39 Yeah, come on. And maybe do not follow that advice we just gave you. Follow all of it, every piece of it. Follow all of it. Yeah. Get out of here, you're on musk. I do want to read a paragraph from Medicine's Grandadius to make
Starting point is 00:16:51 because it's made me aware of something. So this is not, this is not medicines that Kurt Saxon's granddad used to make. He included all of the medical preparations from Dick's Encyclopedia of Practical Receipts and Processes, 1872, and the complete text of the Medical Student's Manual of Chemistry from 1889.
Starting point is 00:17:09 So he's just taking old books and republishing them with a little bit of work and then selling them for a huge amount of money. Yeah, it seems like all this is just like, he got a bunch of popular mechanics. I mean, there's an element of that that's cool because there's a bunch of shit in here from the 1800s that is just guides to life
Starting point is 00:17:27 that random people on the frontier figured out. But also, Kurt, you're not coming up with this stuff. Yeah, no, he's a news aggregating website, basically. Yeah, I do want to see what sort of... He's a Buzzfeed, if you will. Yeah, he's Buzzfeed. He's like prepper Buzzfeed from the 70s. The sections from Dick's cover such medical preparations
Starting point is 00:17:50 as bitters, aromatic vinegar, smelling salts, factitious mineral waters. Facetious? No, factitious is not one of those work. Sophie, would you look up factitious mineral waters to see if that's a thing or if this is nonsense old people medicine? Maybe they used to refer to mineral waters as factitious
Starting point is 00:18:12 because people used to think they were fake. I don't know. This all sounds like stuff Grandpa Simpson would prescribe. Fluid extracts, medicinal essences, medicated syrups, oxymel, elixirs, medicated waters, medicinal solutions, lotions, liniments, pills, ointments, salves, serates, poltises, plasters,
Starting point is 00:18:32 garbles, caustics, rubifacients, balsams, tonics, anodynes, diaphoretics, diuretics, electuaries, fomentations, alternatives. What are these things? I'm going to be honest. If you're trying to sell me medicine, you lost me at elixirs. I'm not going to buy your stuff.
Starting point is 00:18:55 Update, there's really nothing except I found one thing that's titled drugs in our drinking water and I don't think it's related. I think this person just made up a thing. Awesome. It's a long time ago. Next page, how to make up a candy floss outfit. What is a candy floss outfit?
Starting point is 00:19:18 No, it's how to make floss. It's how to make a not candy floss. I thought you meant like a costume. No, we would call it, what's that shit? They sell at the carnivals. Yeah, it's a cotton candy. Cotton candy. It's how to make a cotton candy machine.
Starting point is 00:19:33 That's neat. I would go for that. I love this like an outfit. I love their old terminology for that stuff. Yeah, look at this outfit. Yeah, you got some. It was an outfit. Yeah, so on that page we have how to make up a candy floss
Starting point is 00:19:50 outfit, catching insects with a vacuum cleaner and homemade blowtorch. And then right next to that. I don't think that we need a big long description of how to catch a bug with a vacuum cleaner. No, that actually seems pretty simple. Yeah, the title is the explanation. I don't know, I think he's filling.
Starting point is 00:20:11 You know what's amazing? He gives us, he dedicates exactly as much paid space to making a houseboat as he does to catching insects with a vacuum cleaner. Well, now we know both. And then on the same page, another ad for another Kurt Saxon book, keeping score on our modern profits. Psychic researcher and Bible expert levels on people
Starting point is 00:20:37 who give the occult world a bad name. Do you think that he's publishing books just to promote his other books? I think so. I think that this is all, he's got his whole media network. Like this guy is kind of like a low tech Alex Jones who has like his own, but actually some of this is really useful.
Starting point is 00:20:57 Right. Yeah, like I imagine I might wind up digging this up to find out how to make a homemade blowtorch if things get a lot worse. I knew you were going to say blowtorch. Hey Robert, do you know what else is really useful? The products and services that support this podcast? Yes.
Starting point is 00:21:14 Yeah, they do. Yeah, they do. I love that. Got him so proud. We're going to go to products and after we get back, we're going to talk about how to keep score on our modern profits. So I think we should all be excited about this.
Starting point is 00:21:26 I'm stuck. Always. During the summer of 2020, some Americans suspected that the FBI had secretly infiltrated the racial justice demonstrations. And you know what? They were right. I'm Trevor Aronson and I'm hosting a new podcast series,
Starting point is 00:21:46 Alphabet Boys. As the FBI sometimes you got to grab the little guy to go after the big guy. Each season will take you inside an undercover investigation. In the first season of Alphabet Boys, we're revealing how the FBI spied on protesters in Denver. At the center of this story is a raspy voiced cigar-smoking man who drives a silver hearse.
Starting point is 00:22:12 And inside his hearse was like a lot of guns. He's a shark. And not in the good and bad ass way. He's a nasty shark. He was just waiting for me to set the date, the time, and then for sure he was trying to get it to happen. Listen to Alphabet Boys on the iHeart Radio App, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Starting point is 00:22:30 In the summer of 1999, a young woman in South Carolina disappeared in the middle of the night. Her name was Brooke Henson. Seven years passed. She was presumed dead. And then a tip came in that would turn the entire investigation on its head. He said, I think I found your girl.
Starting point is 00:22:51 She's alive. She's in New York. And I said, really? According to this tip, Brooke was now a student at Columbia University. But the small town detective on the case in South Carolina, he didn't believe it. So he kept poking around.
Starting point is 00:23:07 I said, I'm calling about a girl you might know named Brooke Henson. And he said, I wondered when you were going to call. When my son brought her home, I knew she was troubled. The detective ultimately became convinced that she was a master of deception, a spy. But who was this woman really? Listen to deep cover on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Starting point is 00:23:36 Standing at 8 feet 2 inches tall, Charles Byrne was the tallest man in the world. In fact, it earned him the nickname the Irish Giant. And when Charles arrived in London in 1782, he caused quite a stir. But by May the following year, death came calling for Charles in the form of tuberculosis. And while most people were ready to mourn his passing,
Starting point is 00:23:55 one man was plotting with gleeful excitement for a chance to dissect the Irish Giant's remains. This January, Grim and Mild Presents will shift focus from the great wide world around us to the universe inside us all. In a journey that will span thousands of years and countless borders, we plan to unpack the dark and twisted history of healing medicine.
Starting point is 00:24:16 So wash your hands, set out your tools, and prep for surgery. Grim and Mild Presents Bedside Manors is available now. Find Grim and Mild Presents wherever you listen to podcasts. Learn more at grimandmild.com. And we're back. We're back. We're talking about living in the mountains and forming a militia.
Starting point is 00:24:43 Here we are. A militia in which we would all be kernels. Everyone is a kernel in my militia. Can I give a quick anecdote? Absolutely. I'd never said the word kernel out loud until I started auditioning for projects and I was reading something
Starting point is 00:25:00 and I had to say the word kernel, but I just read it and said, colonel, and that's my anecdote. I immediately knew my mistake. You can cut this out. It's done. No, no, no, no, no, no. Kurt Saxon has shared his emotional vulnerabilities with us.
Starting point is 00:25:19 We should share ours with the listeners. Exactly. Thanks, guys. Thanks for receiving me. Thank you for sharing. Thank you for opening up. Thank you for sharing. You really heard.
Starting point is 00:25:29 I mistook a wrench for channel locks once several years ago and I felt very silly and all of the people who knew what they were doing with tools around me made a lot of fun of me. So everybody makes dumb mistakes. I'm so sorry that you experienced that, Robert. I'm so sorry. I feel you.
Starting point is 00:25:49 I feel your pain. Yeah, they were all woodsmen and I wanted to be cool around them, but then I didn't know what channel locks were because I was a fool and I'm so sorry. I still don't know what a channel lock is. I'm embarrassed. I only have a vague idea, to be honest. Cody, do you want to share a shameful and vulnerable moment
Starting point is 00:26:07 or should we read about what Kurt Saxon has to say on modern profits? I've never been embarrassed once in my entire life. That makes sense. That actually makes complete sense. Modern profits promoted by trashy tabloids claim to know the future. Aside from predicting natural disasters, they are very heavy on sweetness and light. Everything is going to turn out all right.
Starting point is 00:26:27 God tells them so. Too many people believe frauds like Jean Dixon. They don't prepare for rough times ahead because Jean says great things are in store for humanity. The fact that these things seldom come off as prophesied is forgotten as new prophecies come out. The author is the only one to collect and record four years of prophecies of the most popular modern profits.
Starting point is 00:26:46 With their miserable scores, it is amazing that any of them stay in the limelight. If you are hooked on the modern profits or there's someone who is, you owe it to yourself to read this. Oh, I think he's actually like busting, talking about what Liar's psychics are. Yeah. He really hates this Jean Dixon woman.
Starting point is 00:27:04 Yeah, okay. Well, there we go. I don't know. I went to one psychic that told me in a past life I've saved a lot of Jewish people during the Holocaust and I tend to believe that that's true. That is a nice thing to believe. I feel like.
Starting point is 00:27:18 That is a nice thing to be told about oneself. Can I share one other psychic story that might convince you? This is the time. Do you think you will? Yes. So my good friend Nellie, who loves Hawaii, goes every year, okay. In her adult life, she has seen six different psychics
Starting point is 00:27:41 who have all said that she used to be the ruler of the South Pacific Island. Oh, that's cool. Do what you will with that. That is a creepy coincidence. Either that or a lot of different psychics in Hawaii tell tourists to come in that they used to rule a South Pacific Island.
Starting point is 00:28:01 Well, she didn't go all of her psychics were in Hawaii. She lives in California. I'm also going to throw it out there that most people like Hawaii. Yeah. I'm not saying wrong. Well, but most people don't go every year of their life. Sure. Sure.
Starting point is 00:28:17 Sure. While we're talking about California, I feel like I should note that the address for Kurt Saxon's business is in Eureka, California, which I used to live next to and nothing has ever made more sense to me in my entire life. No, that does make a lot of sense. God. Wait, have we done the fun thing where we just search words yet?
Starting point is 00:28:37 Can we do that with the digital copywriter? I kind of want to know who Gene Dixon is, but no, I don't think we can search words since that's a scan. Yeah. We'll include the link. You can read this all online. It's in a PDF. Oh, God.
Starting point is 00:28:51 Touring in the auto, the Land Cruiser. It's a guide to building your own RV. And it is much longer than a guide to building a houseboat, which I feel like does it? Oh, no, there's a little guide to making a barrel boat too. That's good. That's good. Wait, Robert, go to page 32.
Starting point is 00:29:12 Go to page 32. Oh, but the poor man's James Bond is on the next page. Okay, do that first. Do that first. You guys, take a look at the illustration for the cover of the poor man's James Bond. Cody, I'm going to need you to describe that for me. What makes him poor, the fact that he's got eyeglasses on?
Starting point is 00:29:32 Yeah, I don't know. The cover of the poor man's James Bond features like a dude who looks like a nerdy engineer with big Coke bottle glasses and like almost like a very nerdy 70s comb part. And he's sitting with a shotgun that is easily two feet taller than him and appears to have some like a home-built foregrip on it. And then there's a beautiful young woman sitting in his lap with a beer
Starting point is 00:30:01 and he has an entire handle of whiskey and is surrounded by piles of shotgun shells and explosives. Nice. Yeah, this all scans. This scans real well. I'm going to read the text. The poor man's James Bond is the undisputed leader in the field of books on improvised weaponry
Starting point is 00:30:18 and do-it-yourself mayhem. It gives full and simple instructions for making tear gas, explosives, firearms, silencers, poisons, zip guns, grenades, knockout drops, flamethrowers, and a wide variety of weapons. It also tells you how to buy most of the needed chemicals from your grocery and garden store. Includes fireworks and explosives like granddad used to make. He really likes, his granddad seems like a trooper.
Starting point is 00:30:45 This book has hundreds of formulas and processes for making fireworks, blasting compounds, gunpowder, nitro, gun cotton, etc. The material was gleaned from formularies written from 1872 to 1907. Plus, George W. Weingart's classic on fireworks, pyro-techny. This is the simplest and most comprehensive book on actually making fireworks. It is heavily illustrated in how to make Roman candles, shell cases, fuses, colored fires, explosives, powders, rockets, mortars, firecrackers, torpedoes, etc.
Starting point is 00:31:12 Plus the complete texts of explosives, matches, and fireworks from Joseph Riley, 1938. So, yeah, it's more co-olating all these old guides to just help people make tear gas and grenades. Oh, Kurt Saxon. Thank you, Kurt. Could you really quickly read the very first sentence of that again? The poor man's James Bond is the undisputed leader
Starting point is 00:31:38 in the field of books on improv. There we go. Okay. I really wish it was books on improv. And it was just like a page on yes-ending and stuff. And how to pretend to... We all thought Del Close is the grandfather of improv. But no, no, no, no.
Starting point is 00:31:59 It's the poor man's James Bond. This is like a whole book on how to do an improv version of James Bond at UCB. Basically, yeah. Not a popular tome. And I have my gun. And on the same page... Truth and vomiting. Here we go.
Starting point is 00:32:14 A guide to making a thresher. A guide to making a handmade drill press. How to raise cucumber on a trellis. Oh, yeah. How to make tear gas. How to make... I mean, he's covering all the bases. I don't see the problem.
Starting point is 00:32:31 Maybe cucumber is part of the tear gas recipe. I don't know. Wow, this is interesting. There's a guide on the next page on how to make alkaline water drinkable because in the past they knew that alkaline water was a bad thing to drink and you needed to filter it right. And now we just sell it for $40 a gallon. Now we're like, this cures cancer.
Starting point is 00:32:51 Yeah. That's cool. All right, Sophie, what was the page you wanted me on? So it's probably not going to be the same page. So just look for how to make see-through mirrors. Yeah, I think it's past the enterprise. Okay, so past the poor man's armorer. How to make a basic crossbow plus arrow sling.
Starting point is 00:33:13 How to make an arrow catapult, a simple but lethal toy. And improving the 11-shot shotgun. I bet it's 12. Is it 12? Is it go up to 12? Yeah, I think it goes up to 12. Yes, Katie, it's simple. It's clearly a child using the arrow thrower.
Starting point is 00:33:31 He seems like a great parent. That is a simple but lethal toy. The coming age of steam, your basic steam engine. So that's good. God, there's so much in here. Black powder. How to make boomerangs. That's good.
Starting point is 00:33:48 All right. Could I turn my houseboat into a steam engine? Is there an entry about that solid question? Katie, the question is, can you afford not to turn your houseboat into a steam engine? I don't know that I can't. Not in times like these. There's a hole. Oh, where do I get a train truck?
Starting point is 00:34:03 Where do you get it? That's a good question. You probably make it. He teaches us how to make imitation gold and silver. Yeah. It's like a page and a half on it. What were you looking at? Oh, yeah, that's what you're about to say, Cody.
Starting point is 00:34:22 I was going past the past or the future is our past with a big picture of the USS Enterprise or the Starship Enterprise. Oh, my God. Where's the page 13 for me? 13. It's got the enterprise on it. You can't miss it. I'm way past that.
Starting point is 00:34:46 It is before how to make imitation gold and silver. Yeah. I haven't run into that one yet. Maybe our books are different. Maybe you have a special copy. It might be slightly different. Oh, here we go. Oh, no.
Starting point is 00:35:01 Here it is. It's published before burglar proofing your home the poor man's way and simple protection against muggers. We're going to have to come back to that because I'm going to guess it's murdering them. That's a good guess. Oh, my God. Our future lies in the past. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:17 Yeah. Okay. Barring a nuclear war with the soon to be starving Russians, America's irreversible collapse should be apparent to anyone by 1980. By then it will be too late for city dwellers to go back to the land. All they will find is will be armies, will be armed survivors treating them like improvident, ignorant refugees. They will be.
Starting point is 00:35:37 You guys remember when that happened in 1980, right? Obviously. I'm thinking about it now. You were reading it and it painted a picture of a memory. Jesus Christ. The world cities will perish, but there need not be another dark ages. Instead, we can go from our survival homesteads onto the stars. It's just that easy.
Starting point is 00:36:00 You build a good enough steam engine you can get to space. I imagine that by volume three. Watch that houseboat right up. He's got to have a how to build a spaceship at some point in here, right? Because otherwise he's definitely skipping a few steps. We might learn that. We'd better. We're learning how to make fake gold.
Starting point is 00:36:19 We'd better. Guys, there is a letters suggestion and the first sentence lets me know it's going to be special. Dear Mr. Saxon, congratulations on issue one. I got my copy yesterday. As soon as I rob a whino of six bucks, I'll send you the money for a year subscription. If they ever ban books, if they ever ban books, which they eventually will do, yours will be the first.
Starting point is 00:36:44 That's something to be proud of. Seems free enterprise is a dangerous thing. It's available for free online. Free online. We're reading. We're all reading it right now. It says Rob a whino like that's printed. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:36:57 It says Rob a whino. Yes. Take six dollars from a whino. Yeah. I mean, fuck a whino though. Fuck a whino though. I'm not going to shame you for your wine. No, we're all drunks today.
Starting point is 00:37:10 We're all drinking wine today. Yeah. Wait, so the person wrote a letter about the publication that they got. Yeah. I'm guessing this is another edition of it. That's why our pages are wrong. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:25 I'm going to guess that's why. The only complaint I have is of the poor man's James Bond. You didn't have a section on establishing a new identity. A few paragraphs would have done. This is the popular rage. Visit a graveyard. Take along a pencil and paper. You won't need any flowers because you're not going to pay respects to the dead, but
Starting point is 00:37:42 a wreath will provide a good cover as you move from grave to grave. The best identity is of a kid born about the same time as you, but died about a year later. The younger the better because there will only be two records, the birth and the death. Copy down about three names, recording date of birth and complete name and name of parents have listed. Then go down to the local courthouse and ask for a copy of the birth and death certificates of the deceased. The birth certificate will enable you to get a social security card, driver's license,
Starting point is 00:38:08 et cetera. The death certificate gives cause of death and related items. A new identification is a necessary survival object since it gives a person the benefit of two people. Finally, you can get a PO box for receiving through the mail, certain things which you wouldn't want delivered to the front porch. Well, we nailed it. I was looking through volume two to see if that advice was heated and he was like, okay,
Starting point is 00:38:34 in volume two, I'll do a whole section on stealing an identity, but they seem to have laid it out pretty well. Also in regards to how we're going to skip another dark age and go straight from our homesteads to the stars, in volume two, there's a several page spread titled Preview of Life in Coming Dark Age, so he gave up that dream pretty quickly. I mean, thank God he's got that information. I'd like to imagine he spent all of his time reading old popular science and learning how to make blow torches and he just knew nothing about space and assumed it was like traveling
Starting point is 00:39:14 to the town over. And then he read a book and was like, oh, no, I thought he said to build a really tall ladder. Oh, no. This is so much harder than building a houseboat. This is going to take at least eight paragraphs. I don't have that kind of time to take a few more volumes, buddy. Oh, man.
Starting point is 00:39:34 Oh, good, good Christ in heaven. This book is amazing. Yeah, I want to find there is a review of the movie Taxi Driver in here. What? Of course there is. Oh, yeah. Wait, what year did it come out again? I found Sophie's.
Starting point is 00:39:50 I found Sophie's thing first. We will find the Taxi Driver review. How to make... What year did it... Hmm? Taxi Driver? I would say what year did this come out again? 76.
Starting point is 00:40:01 Okay. It's much later than I thought. How to make see-through mirrors. The FBI used the see-through mirror in the house on 97th Street. I guess that's a movie. Most guys who learn to make these mirrors claim they want them for surveillance of America's enemies, like the FBI and CIA. When you learn to make such a spy mirror, you will probably run right out and buy a motel
Starting point is 00:40:20 in a roll of film. I don't care what kind of sticky you are as long as you send me some of the prints. No. Also, by see-through mirror, he means a window, right? Yeah. Like an interrogation window thing. That was really worth the wait. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:40:35 Yeah. And he's just joking about how you should use it to take pictures of people in their hotels. Uh-huh. Joke. This accent is a good dude. I think he's a really good dude. I think he eats the cake.
Starting point is 00:40:48 Cancel. Yeah. Cancel. Hashtag cancel this survivalist from the 1970s, who is certainly dead from inhaling his own food. He's definitely still out there, man. He's still surviving. He's in space by now, right?
Starting point is 00:41:03 Oh, my God. Okay. So, Sophie is telling me that it is time for another ad break, and after that ad break, we're going to start talking about what Kurt Saxon thought of the movie Taxi Driver. Please. Please. I'm going to... I can't wait.
Starting point is 00:41:22 Oh, my goodness. I... What an easy thing to guess. Yes, I love shooting centers. Needs to be longer. During the summer of 2020, some Americans suspected that the FBI had secretly infiltrated the racial justice demonstrations. And you know what?
Starting point is 00:41:47 They were right. I'm Trevor Aronson, and I'm hosting a new podcast series, Alphabet Boys. As the FBI sometimes, you got to grab the little guy to go after the big guy. Each season will take you inside an undercover investigation. In the first season of Alphabet Boys, we're revealing how the FBI spied on protesters in Denver. At the center of this story is a raspy-voiced, cigar-smoking man who drives a silver hearse. And inside his hearse was like a lot of guns.
Starting point is 00:42:21 He's a shark. And not in the good and bad ass way, he's a nasty shark. He was just waiting for me to set the date, the time, and then for sure he was trying to get it to happen. Listen to Alphabet Boys on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. In the summer of 1999, a young woman in South Carolina disappeared in the middle of the night.
Starting point is 00:42:44 Her name was Brooke Henson. Seven years passed. She was presumed dead, and then a tip came in that would turn the entire investigation on its head. He said, I think I found your girl. She's alive. She's in New York. And I said, really?
Starting point is 00:43:02 According to this tip, Brooke was now a student at Columbia University. But the small town detective on the case in South Carolina, he didn't believe it. So he kept poking around. I said, I'm calling about a girl you might know named Brooke Henson. And he said, I wondered when you were going to call. When my son brought her home, I knew she was troubled. The detective ultimately became convinced that she was a master of deception, a spy. But who was this woman really?
Starting point is 00:43:35 Listen to deep cover on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Standing at 8 feet 2 inches tall, Charles Byrne was the tallest man in the world. In fact, it earned him the nickname the Irish Giant. And when Charles arrived in London in 1782, he caused quite a stir. But by May the following year, death came calling for Charles in the form of tuberculosis. And while most people were ready to mourn his passing, one man was plotting with gleeful excitement for a chance to dissect the Irish Giant's remains. This January, Grim and Mild Presents will shift focus from the great wide world around
Starting point is 00:44:12 us to the universe inside us all in a journey that will span thousands of years and countless borders we plan to unpack the dark and twisted history of healing medicine. So wash your hands, set out your tools, and prep for surgery. Grim and Mild Presents Bedside Manors is available now. Find Grim and Mild Presents wherever you listen to podcasts. Learn more at grimandmild.com slash presents. We're back and we are still talking Kurt Saxon. Now we're going to get to that taxi driver review, but while I was running towards it,
Starting point is 00:44:52 I found, in addition to some guides on making your own ammunition, which I am going to bookmark, what I think is another op-ed by Kurt Saxon. This is a long magazine, so he has a few. Extra, and there's a little cute little picture of a news boy, say an extra. Kurt Saxon warns, when politicians ban guns, bombers will ban politicians. I feel like this might double as his review of taxi drivers. It's a timely, it's timely though. Many of your number, and possibly dear politician, I should say is how it starts.
Starting point is 00:45:31 Many of your number, and possibly yourself, have been raising alarms against the private ownership of handguns. Propaganda cite pitiful examples, such as the four-year-old boy who shoots himself and the six-year-old who shoots his sister. Actually, a man who lets his children get it as guns deserves to have his line die out. Jesus Christ, Kurt. Really bold stance. Oh, here we go.
Starting point is 00:45:53 And then there are the minorities, brawling their way through the ghettos and barrios on a Saturday night, shooting each other in quarrels over their females and dopes. Oh. Yep. Okay. There we go. He got all the words right, too. He said females.
Starting point is 00:46:08 Females. Is this the America that the Republicans want to bring us back to, where you can talk like this? I think it is. Katie, it's interesting that you say that, because I have my questions about Kurt. And I wonder if, because there's this chunk of the right, what I will call the dangerous right, who went all in for Trump because it was all about racism. And then there's the chunk who are fundamentally anti-authoritarian.
Starting point is 00:46:41 And even though they are super racist often, although not always, we're like, no, Trump is bad because he's an authoritarian and I hate the government. You don't understand. I don't care if he's, like, hates the people I hate. I hate the government most. And I kind of think Kurt Saxon would be in that. I hate the government more than anything else, realm, but I really don't know. It's hard to say.
Starting point is 00:47:02 He also seems to have some racism, sexism. Oh, tons of it. Tons of it. Yeah. So it's a matter of, yeah, which one sort of wins out. It is hard to tell this guy. He's one where I'm like, I don't know if he would have ever supported a presidential candidate, but maybe.
Starting point is 00:47:18 Right, right. Yeah. If anyone, it would be Trump of all people. If anyone, it would be Trump. Yeah. Or like whoever's next, I guess. Yeah. Okay.
Starting point is 00:47:30 That's about all that I think we need to read. Oh, wait. No. He talks about Serhan Serhan. We got to talk about that. It may be the real, so he's still like threatening politicians. It may be a real belief among those of you who are most sheltered that guns can be banned and that lying, then lying politicians won't be shot by disappointed constituents.
Starting point is 00:47:49 Not so and worse than not so. First guns can be banned by law, but then private illicit gun factories will flourish. And worse than guns, there are, their alternatives will make any public appearance by a liberal politico a great show for a TV audience as he and anyone else on the platform is blown to bits by a casually thrown bomb. Bombs are easy to make. Components are cheap and easier to get than our guns. Moreover, the chances for escape by the bomber due to the panic and confusion are much greater
Starting point is 00:48:13 than had he used a gun. Make guns hard to get to any degree and the dissident will choose bombs and even be glad you helped him make that choice. If Serhan had thrown an easily made black powder bomb at Bobby Kennedy, he would be partying with his accomplice now. If Brimmer had thrown a bomb at Wallace, he too would probably be free and Wallace would now be edging toward the presidency. Books on bomb making and improvised weaponry such as my own poor man James Bond are sold
Starting point is 00:48:36 all over the country and numbers directly proportionate to the growing threat of gun confiscation. In fact, all books on guerrilla warfare and military science are gaining interest. So he's literally saying, if you pass gun control, people will kill you with bombs and I am going to provide them with the guides to do it. And the fact that- Sounds like a terrorist threat. Yeah, it does a little bit, right?
Starting point is 00:48:57 Yeah. Yeah, we really got into the terrorism part of this little publication. We sure did, right after how we're going to get to the stars by homesteading. From homestead to stars. I really quickly, I have to read this. So you mentioned improving the 11 shot shotgun earlier. Yeah, I do want to know how you would improve the 11 shot shotgun. That seems perfect.
Starting point is 00:49:24 What's better than 11? What's better than 11? I don't know. I'm sure it'll tell us, but I think that the very first sentence of this section is a perfect microcosm of this entire thing, and so improving the 11 shot shotgun. They all laughed when I demonstrated my notorious 11 shot shotgun, and then it goes on. They all laughed at my homemade shotgun, but then I had a shotgun. And then he explains how to improve it, and I'm sure it's some good advice, but...
Starting point is 00:50:07 I bet he knows how to improve a shotgun. Oh, yeah. So it's about making the grip sweat proof. Oh, okay, because you're going to be shooting so many people, right, you're going to get sweaty. That makes sense. That makes sense. I like practicality.
Starting point is 00:50:24 So, Atlan is his publishing company. Atlan's first, and maybe last, movie review, taxi driver. In my third issue, James Allen asked for a description of the device the taxi driver used to snap the gun out of his sleeve and onto his hand. I watched the making of his device carefully, and I'm still uncertain how he did it. Anyway, he had an arrangement built of odds and ends, and it had a track going down his arm on which the gun carriage was on rollers. When he snapped his arm to the firing position, the carriage would rattle considerably and
Starting point is 00:50:54 the gun would slide into his hands. It was noisy, and it reminded of putting a coin in a Coke machine and waiting for it to finally finish its grumbling and shoot the bottle out. Any police officer I know is faster on the draw, and I think such a device would only give the wearer a false sense of security. Travis, the taxi driver, is an ex-Marine in Vietnam vet. He can't sleep, and whether he is haunted by war memories or intestinal parasites picked up in New York or Vietnam is not made clear.
Starting point is 00:51:17 Anyway, Travis applies for night taxi duty in New York City. So the first third of this review is just him arguing with a specific point of a gun delivery device that Travis Bickel builds for himself. So that's interesting. I don't know if he knows how to write reviews. No, he doesn't. It gets into it here a little bit. Travis develops a protective interest in Iris, a 12 and a half-year-old hooker played by
Starting point is 00:51:45 Jody Foster. She's hardly a turn-on since anyone would identify with her role as the cute little con artist playing alongside Christopher Connolly in the TV series Paper. She's not hot because of her role in a TV series, not because she's 12 and a half. I like how he is saying, he takes on the role of protector. That's one way to describe how he does it. Anyway. In taxidermy.
Starting point is 00:52:10 Oh, buddy. I love, yeah, all of these, and it's the same thing with, like, I'm having a lot of a degree of interest in some of the 3D printing gun stuff, but the organization that started really doing it, Defense Distributed, it was headed by this capitalist, anarcho-capitalist I think is how he identified, dude Cody Wilson, who turned out to be a pedophile. Like all of these fringe people turned out to be, like, the Adam Waffen guy, one of the big Adam Waffen guys they just arrested, it came out weeks after the arrest that, like, oh yeah, and they found child porn on his computer also.
Starting point is 00:52:51 These guys are always fucking pedophiles. And that's how a pedophile writes a movie review. No one else is like, Jodie Foster's not hot in this movie when she's 12. No one else thinks of that. Kurt does. Kurt and the guy who shot Reagan, except for he had the opposite conclusion. We don't make enough of that that the guy who shot Reagan was trying to impress a teenager. We really don't.
Starting point is 00:53:20 We really don't. Anyway. We certainly can if you want. The upshot of the movie is that Travis raids the house Iris works in and kills everyone but her while stage hands stand off camera sloshing buckets of orange paint on everyone. Travis survives and gets his name in the papers as a hero. Iris goes back to school in Pittsburgh. Don't be upset that I've told you the plot, if you've seen the movie you'll thank me for
Starting point is 00:53:40 showing you that it had a plot in the first place. The message I got from taxi drivers is that most New Yorkers are not fit to survive. Travis shows that casually gunning down New Yorkers is a public service. Good target practice and has its rewards. It's a kind of recruiting film for vigilantes, but it probably won't inspire much zeal and good folk to go there and help. The Peace Corps fever has largely died out in our land. Go see it, but leave the old folks at home.
Starting point is 00:54:09 Kurt, baby, you got the movie all wrong. I think he missed some points. I want him to write reviews for every movie that's ever been made. Yeah, I want his review of the English patient. With the man who went up a hill and came down a mountain. Yeah, it's just going to be like four paragraphs of him complaining that there are no 12 and a half year olds and the ones there are are not hot enough. Kurt.
Starting point is 00:54:40 Kurt Saxon. Where are the old men bombs? 12-year-old appreciator. Where's the buckets of blood? Yeah, it really makes me wonder about what kind of patient are we talking about here? The cover of this now. Yes. Yes, it does, Cody.
Starting point is 00:54:55 Kurt. Now, and of course, now there's yet another column by Kurt Saxon and this one actually does strike home as a result of the current situation we're in. You can't change the channel. A while back, I saw a funny and tragic cartoon in a magazine. It showed a car pulled over to the side of the road. A harried and exhausted mother was inside, flanked by some miserable children who plainly didn't like the situation at all.
Starting point is 00:55:20 The father was outside, trying to pump up a flat tire. Well, hard at work to save their vacation, the father was saying, but kids, this is real. This is life. We can't change the channel. The cartoon showed the absurdity of the children's confusion between reality and TV. I got a charge out of it because it paralleled the American adult's confusion between real world conditions and pure entertainment. So he's talking about how like, yeah, I don't know, that's something that I've heard people
Starting point is 00:55:46 express variations of on Twitter as a result of this whole situation is like it's a bad movie that you can't turn off. We put on some sort of low-rent Netflix contagion series and it just keeps auto-playing. Yeah, yeah, there's no escaping the surreality that we're in. Why can't I? Yeah, the remote control is broken. And it's right next to... I'm gonna change.
Starting point is 00:56:08 And of course, it's right next to a guide on how to make the super still, which includes this paragraph. For the real poop on alcohol for its own sake. For the real... What? For the real... Wait, say that one more... Read that sentence one more time.
Starting point is 00:56:27 For the real poop on alcohol for its own sake, get granddad's wonderful book of chemistry. Ometry starts on page 129. Oh my God, I so want to get granddad's wonderful book of chemistry. You don't want the real poop on alcohol? He's trying to keep it light. He needs his terrorist manual to not have words like shit in them. No, I mean the real... That was a term people did use back then for like scoop, yeah.
Starting point is 00:56:56 Yeah. Okay, the scoop. Here's the real shit. Use scoop. Use the word scoop. But people did not use... how did poop become synonymous with scoop back then? I don't know, it was like an old timey thing. I remember old...
Starting point is 00:57:08 A scoop of poop? Bloom County cartoons from around the same period of time using that phrase. Bloom County. I don't know. Alright. Bloom County's a great combat. Oh, here we go. There's yet another book about how to make your own alcohol, which I get now that we're
Starting point is 00:57:25 all in quarantine. More drinks and booze like granddad used to make by Kurt Saxon. Eight dollars. Eight dollars. If you're tired of paying a dollar for a nickel's worth of booze, you ought to make your own. Anyone can do it and millions do. Once you learn to make it for yourself, you can make it to sell. Most people know you cannot, Kurt.
Starting point is 00:57:45 You absolutely cannot legally do that. That is bootlicking. I don't think that's a concern it is. I don't think that's a concern of his either, Cody. Oh my God, he's got a guide to making champagne. It's not champagne unless it's just sparkling wine. If you're not making it in the champagne region of France, Kurt Saxon. Okay.
Starting point is 00:58:04 He's disarming the letterbomb. He teaches you how to disarm letterbombs. I know. On the same page as granddad's guide to booze and various times of the year, probably during full moons, letterbombers go into their act too cowardly to confront. You just were making guides to bombs, Kurt Saxon. You don't get to call letterbombers cowardly. I don't want to be defending letterbombers here, Kurt.
Starting point is 00:58:33 Hey Robert, let's be fair. He wrote that other article during a full moon. Jesus Christ. As there is status among criminals, there is also status among political fanatics and those who use violence to register protests. Among any prison population, the lowest group includes child molesters and all those who use helpless children to work out their pathetic fantasies. The letterbomber has the same status.
Starting point is 00:58:58 You can't get any lower. In fact, I see a similarity. I wouldn't say that all child molesters are letterbombers, but all letterbombers would have the same degree of social inadequacy. Kurt buddy. Kurt. Kurt. Kurt.
Starting point is 00:59:13 Again, you just told us how to make bombs. You have repeatedly been telling us how to make bombs throughout this episode. This episode is about how to make bombs, Kurt. The parts of this that are not about going to space or taxi driver are about bomb or liquor are about bomb making. Skipping to space. Yeah, really, really wanting to figure out where the space guide comes in this. Oh, this is wholesome.
Starting point is 00:59:41 How to lay out a sundial. That's nice. Yeah, that's potentially useful. Stake your claim. It's like some of this stuff deserves to be in a different book. He's just mixing his branding a lot. Yeah, it's this mix of like, here's useful old timey survival tools I culled from our ancestors wisdom.
Starting point is 01:00:02 And then here's how to make a bomb homemade liquor and Jody Foster wasn't hot enough in taxi driver. God. To Katie's point, it does seem like if we're equating this to 2020, it's somebody where you find out who they are in real life that has like a very popular social media page and you're like, wait, what? Yeah. Very mixed, very mixed content here.
Starting point is 01:00:26 Yeah. Yeah. Depending on the day or I guess depending on the moon phase. Sure, yeah. Politics and politicians. Yeah, we have a politics and politicians and I think we're getting, this might answer our question as to what Kurt Saxon would have done in 2016 if he hadn't, I'm just going to guess here, killed himself in a distilling accident.
Starting point is 01:00:49 Solid guess. I mean, it could have been his houseboat could have sunk. Yeah, his houseboat could have sunk. Or his steam engine could have gone off the rails. His steam powered spaceship might not have made it up into the atmosphere. Or maybe he's that guy that died launching himself in his homemade rocket recently. I'm going to bet you Kurt Saxon was a real big influence on that fella. The liberal is so insecure in his real value that he must reduce the value of all so that
Starting point is 01:01:24 he looks better by comparison, hence the idealistic social programs that fail along with the roads that go nowhere and the dams that break in the publicly subsidized industries which loot the wage earners. It doesn't really matter if the dummy is ignorant or actually stupid, whether he calls himself a liberal, conservative or a moderate. They are all political pigs wanting only to get up to the public trough and stay there. They all plead ignorance in one way or another. They all need the support of the American people as if that support will somehow put
Starting point is 01:01:47 the stamp of validity on their incompetent efforts towards a better life for all. That's why they all say, even if you don't vote for me, vote. They know your vote is a vote for their own way of life. It ensures that if they lose this election, they'll still have a goal to shoot for next time. It's a vote to keep those places at the public trough available for creeps who have nothing to sell but themselves. And since they have nothing to sell but themselves, the accent is on personality and agreeableness.
Starting point is 01:02:10 They parade out their unusually pretty wives and homely children and read speeches written by others. Most such speeches are written by Madison Avenue types whose works sound like commercials written for kiddie shows. Vote for Captain Monster. More sugar to the spoonful. Yeah. Okay.
Starting point is 01:02:25 Yeah, I mean, the first sentence, I mean, really, really lost me. I don't... Yeah. Yeah. Survivalists don't involve themselves in national politics at all. They don't want to be dependent on either big business or labor unions. The Tweedledee or Tweedledum of our political system. They know that as part of an intelligent minority, their votes will be canceled several to one
Starting point is 01:02:41 by the ignorant. So yeah, I don't think he would have voted, but you're right. If he was going to vote, Trump would have been the guy to get him on there. Yeah, I think he... Seems like... Yeah, he would have been... I don't think he would have voted, but I think he would have been pretty into the idea of Trump.
Starting point is 01:02:59 I think the first person he ever voted for would have been Donald Trump. Yeah. If at all. Yeah. Yeah. Because I also kind of think he might have been the... The very first things Alex Jones said about Trump's campaign before he got on board was that Trump was mobbed up and this was all a conspiracy to infiltrate and take over the
Starting point is 01:03:21 liberty movements and the dissident right. And I think Kurt Saxon might have started like that and stayed on that course, but I really don't know. But what I do know is that we have another letter section and I found one that is just amazing. This is our Borlia from California. Dear Kurt, I have made two batches of your acrolein tear gas as described in the poor man's James Bond and neither has retained its potency.
Starting point is 01:03:50 Am I doing something wrong? It's fantastic stuff when it's fresh. Oh yeah. But he doesn't... But they don't know because they've never made it, right? He's saying he's made it and he has tested it and it's fantastic stuff. Yeah. It just loses a bit of oomph after a little bit.
Starting point is 01:04:08 Well of course. Nothing... Nothing... Look, if you want... Nothing lasts forever. Perfect tear gas like... A little... I've never heard Kurt say oomph before.
Starting point is 01:04:16 Oh yeah. Oomph. Oh yeah. Saved it. Saved it for this. Saved it for the tear gas part. Oh my God. And then yeah, like how to cane chairs.
Starting point is 01:04:27 It's just like Ron Swanson plus terrorism. Yeah. That's actually a really good touchstone for this. Yeah. If Ron Swanson was a terrorist. And Alex Jones. Yeah. If that show wasn't so twee, it'd be like, all right, let's get real.
Starting point is 01:04:45 Yeah. Let's get real. Ron dies in a shootout with the ATF because he's been manufacturing illegal sawed off shotguns and giving them to the Aryan nations. Yeah. And he's been giving advice on how to improve his 11 shot shotgun because they all laughed. They all laughed. What a very different shot.
Starting point is 01:05:05 Yeah. We got boomerangs on how to make them. Survival ammunition by Clyde Barrow. So that's probably great. Anyone preparing for survival in these uncertain times should be sure that he will have adequate ammunition for any guns he might own. Okay. That's fair.
Starting point is 01:05:23 Oh, I was wanting something crazy to be in here, but this is just a pretty basic guide to reloading ammo. Good for you, Clyde Barrow. I'm sure you won't murder anybody. Yeah. No. Survival ammunition and how to make boomerangs is on the same page as how to make cane chairs. It's just a...
Starting point is 01:05:42 It's incredible. It's such constant whiplash. Oh my God. Survivalist whiplash. Oh, and here's a column called Now Who's Stupid Dad by Mark Rittenhower. No, my God. This is my favorite part so far. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:06:01 Wait, you have to say it right, Robert. Now Who's Stupid Dad. This is like the subtext of the entire thing. The whole thing. Ever since I'd first brought up the subject of survival, my father had scornfully rejected anything I had to say. He was one of those, it canton won't happen here attitude. He reminded me of the brass in the U.S. High Command prior to Pearl Harbor, December 7th,
Starting point is 01:06:22 1941. That evening I sat, as I sat reading my latest issue of the survivor in my room, my younger brother Jeff, who is a carbon copy of the old man, stuck his head through the door. Whatcha doing? He demanded. Get out, Himmler. I barked. His name's Himmler or is that his nickname?
Starting point is 01:06:37 No, no. He's calling him Heinrich Himmler, his little brother. He stuck out his tongue at me. Don't have to. Laying aside the paper, I got up and went for him, turning, he fled for the stairs, closing the door, I locked it and then sat down and resumed reading. Presently I heard heavy footsteps on the stairs and my father's voice demanded, are you reading that idiotic paper again, cluttering up your mind with that survival rubbish?
Starting point is 01:06:58 I didn't reply. Answer me, he demanded. Open that door this instant, came a second demand. Again, I paid no attention, muttering about worthless whelps and other things, he stomped away and went back downstairs. He, the runt and my mother, would all agree how impudent, disrespectful and no good I was and how I ought to be punished. Jesus Christ.
Starting point is 01:07:15 So this is just like a kid, a small child reading the survivor. Okay, what actually happens to this? Jesus, that kid calling his little brother Himmler and imp and laying. It doesn't seem like a very healthy family. Oh, the power goes out in their town and he has an AMFM radio and flashlights and so he's able to find out what's happening. And his dad is grateful. Oh, yep, yep.
Starting point is 01:07:43 This goes on for pages and pages. I think we get the idea. Yeah, we sure do. Oh my God. Okay, well. How to be a disaster profiteer. Also interpreting baby talk. Planning to profit from a disaster will give you an edge over those who simply plan to
Starting point is 01:08:04 survive it. Thanks Kurt. Thank you, Kurt Saxon. How to price gouge, unbelievable. Yeah, this, this, he's a good guy. Oh, here's another letter section. Let's see if we can find another guy who's absolutely committing horrible crimes. I really enjoyed your book, The Poor Man's James Bond in your poison section.
Starting point is 01:08:30 You should list a different source of nicotine sulfate. Blackleaf 40 has been outlawed for two years. Just to your book, my mother and grandmother consider me in need of counseling your psychiatric help. So far, I have used your hydrochloric slash aluminum smoke bomb in the local walk-in movie twice in the school gym once. I also got detention on the second day of school for igniting some stuff in class. Thanks a lot, JL Missouri.
Starting point is 01:08:55 He only got detention. You're welcome, says Kurt. Yeah, he does. Hey, your book on poison, some of the stuff in your poison book is illegal. So you need to update your poison book about the poison. Also, my grandma thinks I'm crazy because I've set off bombs in school. Wow. Yes, Kurt.
Starting point is 01:09:16 It's plural. This was special. This has been very special, and I think we all learned a lot from Kurt Saxon. We've learned about ourselves. We've learned about Kurt. We've learned about Taxi Driver. Yeah. Taxi Driver.
Starting point is 01:09:33 We've learned what Kurt Saxon thinks about certain 12 and a half year olds. A lot of information here from Kurt Saxon. Not a lot of good times. Surprising information. No. No. I wouldn't say accurate information either. Not all of it.
Starting point is 01:09:53 Not all of it. I mean, that houseboat guide looks bulletproof. Yeah. How to make a monorail sled. How to make a miniature stage. Amazing. That houseboat is also a floating tomb. Speaking of floating tombs, do you want to plug your social media?
Starting point is 01:10:14 The floating tomb of our drowning society? Very appropriate. Amazing. I'm Katie Stoll on all the social medias. Katie with a Y, that is. We've got other shows. We co-host a show with Robert called Worst Year Ever. You should check that out if you don't and we also have our own podcast, Even More News.
Starting point is 01:10:37 You should check that out if you don't. Cody, you want to say the other things? Absolutely. We also have a YouTube show called Some More News and me personally has twitter.com and that is Dr. Mr. Cody with a DR and M-I-S-T-E-R and a C-O-D-Y. We speak good on mics. Good stuff. We do.
Starting point is 01:11:00 I'm so proud. We do good English speak on mics.com. Also before Robert does his plugs, Jamie Loftus says hi to everyone. Hello, Jamie Loftus. Hi, Jamie. Hi, Jamie. Also, Robert has a new show. It's called The Women's War.
Starting point is 01:11:16 Look out for it. Our trailer launched when this comes out last week. So that's out episode one, March 25th. It's very exciting. It is very exciting. You can follow Robert at IWriteOK on Twitter. You can follow us on Twitter and Instagram at BastardsPod. You can wash your hands.
Starting point is 01:11:42 You can avoid the coronavirus by staying indoors and reading through back issues of the survivalist and learning how you too can make tear gas that works really well initially but quickly loses its potency. Then go to space. Use your time wisely, folks. That's all we ask. Yeah, I can't think of anything better to do in quarantine than experiment with making your own tear gas.
Starting point is 01:12:05 Get on that. Get on it. It's all available online for free. It has not been banned as Kurt may have thought it would be. There were definitely legal issues with some of his books that I think contributed to Paladin Press shutting down. We will do a whole episode on Paladin Press because it's amazing. The art of making life like Mary and her bodies.
Starting point is 01:12:26 This is some good stuff. Also, if you're looking for some peaceful content, I post a photo of Anderson every single day on my Twitter. She sure does. Y underscore Sophie underscore Y. Not uncommonly more than one, so. There are. True.
Starting point is 01:12:45 True. Many, many, many photos of Anderson. Yeah, sometimes hundreds. There's like 50 only other living entity in my room, guys. There's like 40 pages on how to make puppets and puppet shows. We're done. We're done. We're done.
Starting point is 01:13:00 I know we're done. That is what we're ending on. How exciting. On the new podcast, The Turning Room of Mirrors, we look beneath the delicate veneer of American ballet and the culture formed by its most influential figure, George Balangene. He used to say, what are you looking at, dear? You can't see you. Only I can see you.
Starting point is 01:13:30 What you're doing is larger than yourself, almost like a religion. Like he was a god. Listen to The Turning Room of Mirrors on the iHeart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Mo Raca and I'm back with season three of my podcast, Mobituaries. I've dug up even more stories about the people and things that fascinate me from the fruit that once scandalized the shape of the banana made it taboo to the band that played second banana to the Beatles.
Starting point is 01:14:03 They were lucky to come in second and the truth is they only came in second for about two months. Listen to Mobituaries on the iHeart radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm weird. You're weird. We're all weird about money. I'm Paco De Leon. I'd like to proudly present to you a brand new podcast called Weird Finance, a show to
Starting point is 01:14:23 help us all feel a little less weird about money, one conversation at a time. So if you want to feel a little less weird about money and you also want to hear people have honest and real conversations, tune in to Weird Finance, available on the iHeart radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get podcasts.

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